1 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm Kelly ben Simone, 2 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: one of your celebrity mentors here on the pod, and 3 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: I'm so excited because today. 4 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,640 Speaker 2: I am joined with someone who's already been on the show. 5 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: We loved getting to hear your story and how you're 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: opening up about finding love again. It's Jana Kramer's best 7 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: friend Pamelin back on the pod. Oh my god, I'm 8 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: so excited to meet you. We're live from iHeart Verbo 9 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: podcast House at Bottle Rock, and Wow, this place is incredible. 10 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: We're in Villa Montabella, one of Verbo's vacation rentals of 11 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: the Year in twenty twenty four, and it's everything you 12 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: could dream of. Seriously, the wine cave is insane. And 13 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: if you want your own amazing vacation rental, down tho 14 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: the Verbo app and out there twenty twenty five vacation 15 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: rentals of the Year. Trust us, you won't be disappointed. 16 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: So I mentioned that you were on the pod before, 17 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: and I was listening to all of your chats with 18 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: Jana and you're incredible and so open and so gorgeous. 19 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: Your Instagram is insane. I just learned recently you're not 20 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: supposed to use words like incredible, insane, all the words 21 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: that I use that are my go tos, you're not 22 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 1: supposed to use. 23 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 3: Any I saw the list, and honestly, what other words 24 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 3: are we supposed to use? 25 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: I know? 26 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 4: So how am I supposed to say, like, wow, well 27 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 4: let's just go rogue and just do whatever we want? 28 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 2: Thank you, Pamela. 29 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 1: Love that. 30 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 4: I love that. 31 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: So first of all, let's for those who are listening, 32 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: just a quick recap of you know, where you. 33 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 2: Are in your life. 34 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: So you and jan are best friends, You guys are neighbors. Yes, 35 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: you build houses next to each other. Yes, and Jana 36 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: may or not be babysit your daughter right now. 37 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, So it takes a village, for sure, it 38 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 3: takes I just like counted, there were seven women involved 39 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 3: in helping me take care of my kids for forty 40 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 3: eight hours just to be able to leave. 41 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 4: You know how beautiful is that? 42 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 2: That is amazing? 43 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 3: I mean it's a lot, but it's still like, you know, 44 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 3: a village, and I don't know what I would do 45 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 3: without that. 46 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: So I raised my kids in New York City, I 47 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: did not have that same village. There were forty eight 48 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,519 Speaker 1: strangers but they were not women that I knew. 49 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 2: But anyway, my kids are fine. They're fine. 50 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: You know, strangers are great. So that's amazing, and that's 51 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: just so nice. You can come here and feel good 52 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: because you, you know, are taking care of your children 53 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: and working out and cooking and telling us everything on 54 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 1: your Instagram, which I love. I was feeling very insecure today. 55 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, do I do some push ups beforehand? 56 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: Or should I just go to the gym? 57 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 2: Or do I not eat? 58 00:02:59,000 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 4: I always eat? 59 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 3: Please, That's what I'm trying to like tell every woman, 60 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,239 Speaker 3: you know, low calories is not the option. 61 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: Right, and I think too, which you're such a great 62 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: new role model to the Pod because you're single, you're 63 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: looking for love, but you're not like on the hunt. 64 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: You are organically open to finding love. And like last 65 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: night we were in the Cave. 66 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 2: How cool is that one? 67 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,920 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, amazing, amazing. 68 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 2: I know. I walked in there. I was like, this 69 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 2: is so cinematic, wasn't it? 70 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 4: It was? Even the pictures made it look like that. 71 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 1: I just was like, oh my god, this place is amazing. 72 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: The food was incredible. We had so much fun. The 73 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: table was like so fun like every went from bacheloration, 74 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: the housewise well. 75 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 3: In so many Yeah, different age groups and just different 76 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 3: walks of life, just all coming together. 77 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 2: And couples that have been together for fifteen years. You know, 78 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 2: you and I are single. 79 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: It's just like a fun mix of all these different people. 80 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: And we had a really interesting conversation and I loved 81 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 1: what you said about meeting people, and you said that 82 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: when you meet people, you are open to a relationship, 83 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: but you know, and you have relationships for long periods 84 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: of time. 85 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 2: It's not like you're like in and out like some people. 86 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: Just the nature of the beasts, because we're like all 87 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: these apps and so much opportunity that we're meeting people, 88 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: and it's like going on one or two dates, but 89 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: you're really like you want to be with someone, you 90 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: want to get to know them, and you want. 91 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 2: You know, you're really looking for that person. 92 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: But you're not like, Okay, I'm just going to go 93 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: one or two dates and then fall in love and yeah, can. 94 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 2: You talk more about that? 95 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 4: Sure? 96 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 3: I mean I think you have to be you know, 97 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 3: intentional number one and not just have like hopes for 98 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 3: somebody's potential and really like hone in on you know truly, like, 99 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 3: what is this person you know, going to. 100 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 4: Like do for me? 101 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 3: And in return, like what can I you know, do 102 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,280 Speaker 3: for them to better their lives? 103 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 4: Because at this. 104 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,280 Speaker 3: Point in our lives we have a lot of things. 105 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 3: We have careers, we have our children, we have homes, 106 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 3: we have this life that we've already built, and so 107 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 3: if we're going to let somebody in and you know, 108 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 3: invest in that energy, it has to be like the 109 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 3: jackpot for me anyway. 110 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 4: The jackpot. Do you guys? 111 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: Hear that hashtag the jackpot? Pamelin is telling us that's 112 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: what we want. Maybe that should be the new app 113 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: called the Jackpot. I love that It's She's like the jackpot, 114 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: mic drop. So when we're looking for that jackpot is 115 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 1: the single dad? Would you ever consider dating anyone who 116 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: is single dad? 117 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 3: I think ideally that would probably make the most sense 118 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 3: because they truly understand that we're not going to be 119 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 3: each other's main priority like ever, you know, I mean, 120 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 3: it's it's your kids and then I think yourself should 121 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: come next, or maybe even yourself first, then your kids, right, 122 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 3: because if we're not you know, mentally stable, and we're 123 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 3: not at at peace, nobody is. 124 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 4: Going to thrive, you know, and then it's like we're 125 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 4: talking then we're talking third place. 126 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,679 Speaker 3: And so if somebody, if somebody can't understand. 127 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 4: That third base, third place is. 128 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 3: Somebody can't understand that, then it's it's it's going to 129 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 3: be a little bit of a situation. 130 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: Have you ever had a conversation with someone and been like, 131 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: by the way, like you're going to be third place? 132 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 4: And what do they say? Well, if they're a single dad, 133 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 4: they they get it. 134 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 3: They're in They're like freaking sign me up, because this 135 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 3: is exactly what they're thinking. 136 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 4: And and hoping. 137 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 3: I think most you know, are hoping that there are 138 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 3: women out there that also, you know, think like that. 139 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 3: And I think both men and women we get like scared, 140 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 3: you know what if we don't give that person enough, 141 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 3: like are they gonna, you know, not want to us, 142 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 3: Like do we have to be this, you know, drop 143 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 3: everything type of situation? And I don't think it has 144 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 3: to be like that. And for me, it won't be 145 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 3: like that or else I'm just not going to do it. 146 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 3: I'm just going to like stay in my happy, beautiful 147 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: little life with my community and my village and my 148 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 3: kids and my company and. 149 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 4: Travel and be so you know, so so happy. 150 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I do believe that somebody can make me even happier. 151 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 3: And I'm super excited for that opportunity. And you know, 152 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 3: I mean I visualize it. I'm like, you know, you 153 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 3: get excited about it. But I'm also not going to 154 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 3: romanticize something that's just not there or if that's not possible, 155 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 3: or that maybe somebody is not capable of. 156 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: Okay, so what if they haven't been married before, but 157 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: they do have kids. 158 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 3: Oh I don't care about that. Yeah, I don't care 159 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 3: about that. And again I say, ideally would be a 160 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 3: single dad. But I'm not closed off to somebody that's 161 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 3: like super emotionally just in charge and understands that, you know, 162 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 3: I have kids and that's you know, my main priority. 163 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 3: I mean, I think that there are also like people 164 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 3: out there that are so evolved in thinking like that 165 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 3: and realize if they're getting into a relationship, you know, 166 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 3: with a woman like that, that that's just like not 167 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 3: going to be the case. And I mean the older 168 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 3: we get, the older men get, the older women get. 169 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 3: We want to do our own thing, Like we want 170 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 3: the freedom to travel and to you know, make our 171 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 3: own decisions and not at the check in like hey, 172 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 3: I'm running to the store. 173 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 4: I mean, you know. 174 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,199 Speaker 3: And so to have freedom like that, I think is 175 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 3: the magic formula. I think a lot of times like 176 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 3: the demise of relationships are the mundane and like these 177 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 3: just you know, daily things that kind of can get 178 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 3: very boring if you're not spicing it up and making 179 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 3: a conscious effort to really invest in your relationship. And 180 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 3: you do that together because you have children together and 181 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 3: you're married, and this is what you kind of signed 182 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 3: up for, and that's just like you know, the societal norms. 183 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 3: But when you get out of a marriage and you're 184 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 3: not in that like thing that everybody you know, this 185 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 3: normal right and quotes relationship that everybody says that you're 186 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 3: supposed to do X, Y and Z, you have this 187 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 3: abundance of freedom to like make your own rules and 188 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,960 Speaker 3: do whatever you want in that next relationship. And so 189 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 3: that's where I'm at. R Okay, like I'm going unconventional. 190 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: See I've just been single for you know, over fifteen years, 191 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 1: and then I went and had that little blip. But 192 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 1: it's funny when you're talking about this, I sing it 193 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: up like I just want like my like love language 194 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 1: is like the normal sea and the consistency and like 195 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: having breakfast together and like making plans and like you. 196 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 4: Know what, you're going to the market. 197 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 2: You want, you know, a coffee? Sure like that. 198 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 4: I'm like creating. I love that. 199 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 2: That's Ford, Illinois. 200 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 3: Your kids are older, right, so you have that space, 201 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 3: you have that capacity if. 202 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 2: I wanted that when they were younger. 203 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 4: See, I don't. 204 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 2: I tried to create it. 205 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 1: I was like, I raised my kids with a suburban 206 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: urban lifestyle whatever that means. Like so like Megan Markle, 207 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, I tried to like create 208 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 1: this environment for them that was like every day, but 209 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: then we were also living in this wild, big city 210 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: and so I always like, that's I think one reason 211 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,679 Speaker 1: why they are very like And I don't want to 212 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: say real because that's just sounds so that's. 213 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 4: One of those weird words. 214 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 2: But well rounded, thank you. 215 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 4: So yeah, But I guess I. 216 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 2: Just always wanted that. I just always wanted that. I 217 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 2: don't want the spice, I want the call. 218 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 4: I want the spice I need. Oh, I just want 219 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 4: for it. My name is Kelly, I'm a leo. 220 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, the jungle, And I think eventually, you know, I'll 221 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 3: be forty seven and my kids are nine and eleven, 222 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 3: and so. 223 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 4: They it's a daily thing. 224 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 3: There's sports like crazy, there's they they need me a 225 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 3: lot right now. And so you know, when we talk 226 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 3: about the capacity, like what what is how much do 227 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,839 Speaker 3: I have, you know, to give to somebody? And so 228 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 3: I and I'm selfish about the time I have with 229 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 3: my kids because now I only have them seventy percent 230 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 3: of the time. 231 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 4: So when I'm with them. 232 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 3: It's it's, you know, very intimate, and it's like I 233 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 3: drop everything so that I can really focus on that time. 234 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 3: And I'm not not saying that it can't overlap, you 235 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 3: know a little bit, but I think that I would 236 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 3: more so be thinking like you when they get you know, 237 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 3: a little bit older, and I have some and I'm 238 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,679 Speaker 3: also scaling my company and trying to build this you know, 239 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 3: empire too, which is super important because I have to 240 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 3: take care of myself and my kids right monetarily, So 241 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 3: I need to. 242 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: Know. 243 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 2: I love that. 244 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 3: But I get that I love the simple thing. And 245 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 3: when I say spice it up, I don't like to 246 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 3: go out all the time. I don't do anything like that. 247 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 3: I don't even really drink it's not that that kind 248 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 3: of spice, but it's like let's have let's go and 249 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 3: we'll meet here for a chill weekend, you know, and 250 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 3: then we'll go here, and you know, maybe it's like 251 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 3: every other week when I don't have my kids, I 252 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 3: go to where he lives. Every other week he comes 253 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 3: for three days where I live. I mean, I think 254 00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 3: that's like the flexibility and that like unconventional approach that 255 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 3: I think would work best for me right now. And 256 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 3: so I think subconsciously that's why I don't really date 257 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 3: in Nashville. 258 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,839 Speaker 4: I don't want you up in my backyard. 259 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 2: I don't want you up in my backyard. 260 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: What about your children? Are they like Mommy, like, oh. 261 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 3: They can't wait. They just want me to have And 262 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 3: so anytime I've dated, look. 263 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: On TV and like that should be our daddy, give 264 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: their dad and they yeah, but like but they love that. 265 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 3: They they So anytime I've dated anybody, they do not know. 266 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 3: I've never involved them and any of it. They've never 267 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 3: met anybody. And I just try to stay like compartmentalize 268 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,079 Speaker 3: those two things right now. And that's not going to 269 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 3: be forever. And there probably wasn't anybody that was you know, 270 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 3: worth them meeting, but they just can't wait. Yeah, they 271 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,359 Speaker 3: want all of these other step you know, brothers and sisters, 272 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 3: and they're like very specific on what they want. 273 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 4: They want older brothers and sisters. Yeah, they want that 274 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 4: whole crew. 275 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 3: You know. 276 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: It's interesting because like my kids would be like when 277 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 1: they were younger, I would say I want a family 278 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: for my family and I've always wanted that. 279 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 2: I told you that before, and my kids would be. 280 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: Like, okay, what does that mean? We have to share 281 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: with people your time. Now they're just like, Mom, we 282 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 1: just want you to like have a friend because like 283 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: you're like bothering us and there's only so much aloe 284 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 1: we can buy together, like we need you. 285 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 4: Need to have somebody else to call. 286 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. 287 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 288 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: And so they're sweet and they're obviously older now they're 289 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: twenty four and twenty seven, but it's just isn't it, 290 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: Like I need would never tell my mom, Like I 291 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: can't imagine like telling my mom like, you know, oh 292 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: you should do this. 293 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 2: I never time. 294 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: I never told my mom she should do anything. I 295 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: just reported for duty. Whatever she told me to do, 296 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: I did well. And my mom was divorced oh twice. 297 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 3: So she divorced my dad when I was like four, 298 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 3: and then she got remarried and got divorced again. So 299 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 3: I mean I kind of like went through you know, 300 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 3: her whole like evolution of dating thing. 301 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 302 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean when she I was I think fourteen 303 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 3: when she divorced my stepdad, so like right in the 304 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 3: height of you know, high school on adulthood and trying 305 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 3: to like figure all of that out. And then she's 306 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 3: simultaneously trying to figure out. 307 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 4: And I look back, and. 308 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 3: You know, she was like my age even younger when 309 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 3: she was going through that second divorce, and so you 310 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 3: you you look at that situation differently now that now 311 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 3: that I'm going through it, and you know, you you 312 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 3: really just, yeah, your heart almost like you know, breaks her. 313 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 4: Do you guys talk about that? You guys like she 314 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 4: really helped me. 315 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 3: And honestly, because I saw her go through it, and 316 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 3: because I saw her just crush life and build, you know, 317 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 3: and build her life, you know, after these two divorces, 318 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 3: I think that helped me know that I could do it. 319 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 2: Also, two siblings. 320 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 4: I have a brother, yeah, as the older I eighteen 321 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 4: months younger. Okay, so he's like a twin, like me. 322 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 2: I have a twin brother, an actual twin brother, though, 323 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 2: Oh you do. 324 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: But isn't it interesting when you have that a close 325 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: like opposite sex, how it's kind of like how you 326 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,880 Speaker 1: see relationships differently. 327 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,080 Speaker 4: You respect the opposite sex. 328 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 1: Differently when you have that. Yeah, that's so nice that 329 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: you're so sweet about your mom. 330 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 4: Thank you. 331 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I had a great mom, but I didn't 332 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: have that kind of connection with her. Again, it was 333 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 1: like reporting for duty. 334 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 3: I just well, she to also say, because she was 335 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 3: you know, and back then, I mean in the eighties, 336 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 3: the divorce was so different. The child custody was so different. 337 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 3: It was like I got to see my dad every 338 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,479 Speaker 3: other weekend. It's not like that anymore. Well, I mean 339 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,479 Speaker 3: for most people, it's not really like that anymore. And 340 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:13,159 Speaker 3: so she was really like the main one, you know that. 341 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 3: And so our relationship was great, but she all my 342 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 3: friends with my mom's my best friend. It wasn't like 343 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 3: that with my mom and I because she had to 344 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 3: almost like keep it a little bit separate. 345 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,440 Speaker 4: She was the mom. 346 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 3: She was, you know, the disciplinarian like, so she it 347 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 3: wasn't like we were. 348 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 1: Best friends, right, And I think that that's actually better 349 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: when there is kind of a buffer between a parent 350 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: and a child. I know it's difficult now with there's 351 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 1: so much divorce, but I just feel that sometimes when 352 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: my friends are like we're best friends, I'm like, okay, 353 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 1: so you guys chop together or you have lunch together, 354 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean that you're asking her her advice 355 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: or his advice, because just like the maturation process is 356 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 1: different and what they're going through and you went through, 357 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 1: and how they're just their their experiences, they're just totally different. 358 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 2: So I I mean, I will my kids always. 359 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 1: Like kind of wanted to know, and I gave them 360 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: enough information so they felt included, but not enough that 361 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: where they were like they felt responsible. 362 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 3: Yeah no, And I think that's responsible on your end. 363 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 3: And I think that you know. 364 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 4: Well, because. 365 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,160 Speaker 3: I think people are over sharing with their little kids especially, 366 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 3: and I just I'm just not going to do that. 367 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 4: And I I. 368 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 3: Just say, you know, mommy is so happy, you guys 369 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,399 Speaker 3: like literally full of joy. 370 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 4: I have everything. 371 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 3: And so when when that does happen, and it will, 372 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 3: I know that I'm not gonna, you know, not have 373 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 3: a significant of other or a lover. You know, that's 374 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 3: so intense like for the rest of my life. 375 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 4: I know that. And so when. 376 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:56,199 Speaker 3: I when I get there and it's appropriate, like you 377 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 3: will be the first to know. 378 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,959 Speaker 4: I will be so excited to tell you. But right now, 379 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 4: well you know, mommy, mommy, get has nothing to tell you. 380 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: Mamma's got a great bond, she's cool, she's got great friends, 381 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: she's all set. Speaking of being all set and having 382 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: a great body and of like you know what you 383 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: what I mean? Obviously every guy wants to date you, clearly, 384 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: but what about you? What are you attracted to? 385 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,480 Speaker 3: I think this is the fun part, and I think 386 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 3: that so many women in our situation focus on like 387 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 3: the heart right in the in the negative and like 388 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,879 Speaker 3: how you know, it's a jungle out there, And for me, 389 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 3: I have embraced it where this is like Pamela and 390 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,120 Speaker 3: two point zero version of what I like. So what 391 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 3: I liked my whole earlier, you know, life is has 392 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 3: clearly not worked out for me, right. 393 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,359 Speaker 4: So so let's paint that picture. 394 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 2: So what like what? 395 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 1: Just like quickly like, what what were you interested in 396 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: or attracted to? And what are you now so you 397 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:00,359 Speaker 1: can get a picture. 398 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 3: Well I'm still figuring it out, but what I've been 399 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 3: what my past, Yeah, my past. I think it was 400 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:20,159 Speaker 3: always you know, like very athletic, bigger, tall, maybe like 401 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 3: more alpha males, like a. 402 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 4: Lot of ego and like tall, a lot of I think. 403 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 3: You know, ego perfect, a lot of ego there, probably 404 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 3: like not vulnerable enough. And then I I don't think 405 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 3: I required enough from them because I probably saw that they. 406 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 4: Couldn't give that. 407 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 3: Then I just thought that that was the norm. 408 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,879 Speaker 1: And what do you I mean, I'm not your therapist, 409 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: and I don't play one on TV. But what do 410 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: you Why do you think that you were attracted to 411 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: someone who wasn't giving you enough? 412 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 4: I know, right, like let's unpack it, I mean, still 413 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,159 Speaker 4: unhacking it. 414 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I was really just like attracted to 415 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 3: like the shiny. 416 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,400 Speaker 4: Toy hot guy. 417 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, we're also on LEO now that we know, now 418 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 1: that we know you're a star sign, we know that 419 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: you're a LEO, so you're probably like I can handle it. 420 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 2: You do. 421 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,200 Speaker 1: Know anything about star signs? Don't ever anyone ever asked 422 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: me about a star signs? 423 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 2: I have no idea. 424 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 4: That's the thing. I mean. 425 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 3: I was, I was in my mind happy though with 426 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 3: these men because I just take it upon myself to 427 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 3: find my own happiness too, Like, I don't just look 428 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 3: at getting that from somebody. So I always had a 429 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 3: million friends, I was always doing my thing, I was 430 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 3: always growing my career, I was always working, and so 431 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 3: I really wasn't like just looking, you know, for somebody 432 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 3: to make me happy. But when I look back, they 433 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 3: were really giving, not much like at all. 434 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:07,199 Speaker 1: Right, and so now you want someone that's more empathetic more, 435 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: I need vulnerable. How do you find a vulnerable guy? 436 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 3: I've found that, I've actually found two men. I've actually 437 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 3: found something maybe a little bit too oh god, oh 438 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 3: my god, but I've found because I'm not even accepting 439 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 3: anything less than that, and so I've definitely found them. 440 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,400 Speaker 3: I think that it's a little bit of digging, right. 441 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 3: It's like, you know, you can tell by messages and 442 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 3: like questions, you can tell. 443 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: See I'm like a one word answer kind of person, 444 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: like I'm chatty with you, but when I'm writing, I'm like, great, 445 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,200 Speaker 1: fun looks good, Like I'm kind of like an AI. 446 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 3: Well, I think if like you know, they're willing to 447 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 3: share things. And and that is the cool part about 448 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 3: being this age is we have a lot of depth. 449 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 3: We've all been through a lot, Yeah, and so I 450 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 3: think there is a lot to unpack and talk about. 451 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,160 Speaker 3: And if you're going to act like like everything's you know, 452 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:15,880 Speaker 3: roses all the time and not really like dig in, 453 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 3: I'm not really interested. 454 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 1: I feel like it's like people are like, it's kind 455 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,959 Speaker 1: of like the new version of trauma von where like 456 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 1: in your for in your like late forties, late thirties, 457 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: forties and fifties, or because you're saying, like to your point, 458 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,560 Speaker 1: we have so much more experience and so now when 459 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 1: someone says something like I can empathize, Like if this 460 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: were ten years ago. 461 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 2: I would be like, I'm sorry, what are you talking about? 462 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:41,479 Speaker 2: Like why are you telling me this? 463 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 4: No, we have no idea until you go through it. 464 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,199 Speaker 1: Until you go through it, And so it's just I mean, 465 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 1: it makes it I'm actually more interested to hear like 466 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: how they're navigating things, or how they dealt with their 467 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 1: ex wives or all those you know. Obviously in positive ways. 468 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear that adity, but yeah, I'm 469 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 1: like not into that, but you know, I really it 470 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,439 Speaker 1: makes me feel more connected to them versus just like 471 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,919 Speaker 1: being like do you want to give dinner. 472 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 3: Sure. 473 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 2: Do you like red wine? 474 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 3: Yeah? 475 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 4: Do you impassa No? Like yeah, this temple No, if 476 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 4: you think and stuff like that, No. 477 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 3: And it's so Yeah, I think it could be so 478 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 3: much more deep and so much more beautiful actually, because 479 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 3: if you think about, like you know, when you're younger 480 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 3: and you're just trying to write, like find your husband, 481 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,639 Speaker 3: and you're in the first stage of all of that, 482 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 3: and you're out and you know, you're with your friends 483 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 3: and that's all that you really you have so much 484 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,639 Speaker 3: time to do that. You have so much time to 485 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,439 Speaker 3: find that person that'use that's all everybody's doing. They're just 486 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 3: out and about. There's not a ton of responsibilities. That's 487 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 3: like your your goal. On most people, that's their progression. 488 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,880 Speaker 3: They're going to find their husband, they're going to have kids, 489 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 3: they're going to buy the house. I mean, that's the 490 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 3: stage that they're at. We're not at that stage. Yeah, so, 491 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 3: and we don't even have as much time as we 492 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 3: did then, so it's like you almost kind of. 493 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 2: Gotta get to it. 494 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: Yeah right, I'm pat quickly because I gotta go bring 495 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 1: a carry on back because I don't have time for 496 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 1: your whole. 497 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 4: Luggage I think this is the best question. 498 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 2: I don't have time for your leuvatant trunk. 499 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 4: I think this is the best quote. 500 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 3: Like, you know, you you start to like you have to, 501 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 3: you know, ask those questions. Don't jump into things too quickly. 502 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 3: So it's like you hire slowly and you fire fast. 503 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 3: So you're you start to ask those questions right like 504 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 3: you get you're kind of like in research mode. You're exploring, 505 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 3: you're asking all these questions, but you're asking the heart 506 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 3: and the right questions. 507 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 4: You're getting all your information. When women immediately. 508 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 3: After, like one day, they're like, oh, I'm in love, 509 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 3: he's the man, he's. 510 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 4: No girlfriend, You're it's not it's not it. 511 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,360 Speaker 3: And so it drives me crazy when when people get 512 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 3: so hooked so quickly, because you really have to dig. 513 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 4: And then if it's not it, if it's not. 514 00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 3: A hell yes, get rid of done, move on, don't 515 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 3: hold on to it for these like hope that it's 516 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 3: going to be something that's I think the biggest mistake. 517 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 4: And then at this age, I don't have six. 518 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 3: Months to hold on to something that is making you 519 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,360 Speaker 3: kind of know, you know. 520 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 2: Jenna gave you some really good advice. 521 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 1: We're not going to go over it because I want you, 522 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 1: I want the listeners to listen to Jenna's podcast with you. 523 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,639 Speaker 1: She gives you some really really good tips, So you 524 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,880 Speaker 1: guys have to check that out. But what I do 525 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,120 Speaker 1: want to know is that have you ever had a 526 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: fun wing woman who may be a slightly bit older 527 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 1: than you, hang out at bottle Rock listening to fun music. 528 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 2: Have you ever had done that before? 529 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 3: I have never, because you know, right now, right like, 530 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 3: all my friends are married with three kids, nobody's going out, 531 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 3: nobody is having that situation. 532 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 4: So I would be honored if you could do that 533 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 4: with me. Today. We think we're going to crush it. 534 00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 1: We are going to have so much fun. So this 535 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,919 Speaker 1: became like kind of like my thing. A couple of 536 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 1: months ago, we were at iHeartRadio for jingle Ball and 537 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: I took some some of my new friends out and 538 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: I just can't talk to anyone. 539 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,440 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if it's a blessing or 540 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 2: a curse, but I'm just like, hi, I'm Kelly, and 541 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 2: people are. 542 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 4: Like, okay, good because I can't. I'm not I'm shy. 543 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 4: I can't do that. 544 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,879 Speaker 2: And I literally will start asking them questions I'm just 545 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 2: like no, no, no, no, no no. So I'll be like 546 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 2: this is. 547 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,960 Speaker 3: And I can do it for you, but I get 548 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 3: really shy about me. 549 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 4: So this is going to be. 550 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 2: But see, I can't do it for myself. 551 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: I'm just like I will talk to people, but they're like, 552 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,239 Speaker 1: are you talking to me for yourself? 553 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 2: My no, no, no, my friend. I have this friend. 554 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 2: She happens to be adopted, gorgeous, and she's staying next 555 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 2: to me. 556 00:27:47,600 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 1: Yes, okay, so this is like important. So hypothetically you 557 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: and I are like out there in the wild and 558 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,640 Speaker 1: the music wild, and we are attracted to the same guy. 559 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 4: What are we going to do? Do we like the 560 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,639 Speaker 4: same kind of guy? Do we know this? Are we 561 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 4: going for? 562 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 3: Like? 563 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,959 Speaker 4: What about what's your age range? 564 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 2: My age range? 565 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 4: Is we overlap? For sure? But I think so a 566 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 4: little bit. 567 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: I mean I just I don't mind a little bit younger, 568 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: but not too much older, Like I can't do seventy 569 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: and I because I'm just wildly immature. 570 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,320 Speaker 2: So that would just not work at all. Can you 571 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 2: see me with the seven year old? 572 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 3: I would be like running circle. 573 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 574 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: It's not about being fit, like I don't It's like 575 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: the people the guys are like, oh, you were models. 576 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 1: You must like people that are really fit. I'm like, 577 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: that's not true. 578 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 4: I just like that's me. You like fit. 579 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like the fit jock. I'm not. I'm like, 580 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 2: I just like the person that I. 581 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 3: Don't actually like the very very build. No, I don't 582 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 3: like the like big kind of build. I just I 583 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 3: like more like the fit in mind, body and soul. 584 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 3: Like let's be honest, you know, because you can have 585 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 3: this beautiful body and if you're messed up in the head. 586 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 3: I mean I don't want that either, So I think 587 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 3: like it's just the well rounded for sure. 588 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 1: I think I'm just because of my like my like 589 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: wherever I go for my favorite memories are like like Geneva, Wisconsin, 590 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 1: hanging out with all my friends, like jumping in the 591 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 1: water water scan. I like people that are men that 592 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 1: are just like having a really good time. So I'm 593 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 1: like the frat boy with a job and maybe not 594 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: so much of the beer gun, but like I'm okay 595 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 1: if it's like. 596 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 2: You know, and you know all all this, be like 597 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 2: she like a frat boy. No she doesn't, Yes, I do. 598 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 2: I actually really like. 599 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 4: Let's go to fun. Well, college. Should we go to 600 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 4: check it out? 601 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,960 Speaker 2: Oh my god, don't know. I go to his parents 602 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 2: beeguns and I'm like, these are not what I mean. 603 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 3: My frat boys like with all this to be said 604 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 3: that we can sit here all day long and talk 605 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 3: about like, Okay, what do we like this and that? 606 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,880 Speaker 4: But for me, it's just this energy. 607 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 3: So when I meet some people in person, I may 608 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 3: not have liked them on let's say, rayah, but it's 609 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 3: this energy that's like whoa. And I did have this 610 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 3: experience where you know, I matched with somebody and he 611 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 3: was he was super smart and I no, not the 612 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 3: little one did? 613 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 4: Can we talk about him though? 614 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: Or no? 615 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 4: Okay? Yeah? 616 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 3: And I'm like, is he going to be boring? He's 617 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:37,720 Speaker 3: super techy, like you know, but I did like the 618 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 3: sophistication and the classiness and this very you know, smart 619 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 3: part that like the smart is really doing it for 620 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 3: me right now. 621 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 4: And so. 622 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, Pam, let's do a FaceTime and see is. 623 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 4: There some swagger? Like so swagger? 624 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 3: Well, my mom would be mad if I said, because 625 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 3: she's like, Pamelin, I did not give you this name? 626 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Pamelin, Yeah, Pamalain she's like Famaline secret name Pam. 627 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 3: So we did a FaceTime and I was like, well, 628 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 3: go ahead with your bad self, with your techie, you know. 629 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 3: I was so impressed, and so it just it was 630 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 3: a really good, you know experience for me to not 631 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 3: just judge by maybe like what you do for a 632 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 3: living is going to correlate to are you exciting or 633 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 3: fun or you know, are you swaggy just because you're 634 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:32,959 Speaker 3: in this field. 635 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 4: And so. 636 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 3: In a perfect world, we meet the guy out we 637 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 3: have the energy and it's just this like magnetic thing. 638 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 3: But in this world, it's really hard to go out 639 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 3: all the time and find that. So that's you know 640 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 3: why we're here doing this right. 641 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 1: One of one of our new friends that I that 642 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 1: I was talking to last night, she was saying that 643 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: she lives, she's in San Francisco, and then she goes 644 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: out and because she was on reality, she'll go out 645 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: and she'll meet these She'll you know, go out and 646 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,440 Speaker 1: do whatever. But like guys are never like hey, or 647 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 1: like I saw you on this show that show and 648 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 1: then but she said she'll get home and they'll DM yeah, 649 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: and like that's I don't want to be out in 650 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:13,120 Speaker 1: the wild. 651 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 2: I want to meet the real people. 652 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: I want to see the vibe, you know, I that's 653 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: what I'm that's I like that too. 654 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think, I mean, you know, because I'm 655 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 3: not I wasn't on a show or anything like that, 656 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 3: so I don't have that kind of I guess where 657 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 3: people would know, oh, who who I am? 658 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 4: You know, I'm just oh, we know who you are? Normal? 659 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 4: But I don't. 660 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 3: But I think, even like for me when I am 661 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 3: out for the rare times that I am, or even 662 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 3: like at the gym or wherever it is, I don't 663 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 3: think that I give off the vibe of available enough. 664 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 3: And that's what I think I have to work on personally. 665 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: You know what. That's so funny that you said that, 666 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 1: because I think I have to do that too. 667 00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:00,479 Speaker 4: I think that I don't smile like I get embarrassed. Partly, 668 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 4: I truly am shy. 669 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: Around, but I smile a lot. I'm just a smiley person. 670 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, I was blessed with good teeth. Like 671 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,440 Speaker 1: I'm a smiling person. And I'm also very outgoing, but 672 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: I'm also super shy. Like like I said, like, I'm 673 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: very outgoing this way. But then if you come into 674 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: my territory. 675 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 2: I'm like, that's why. 676 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 4: We need each other. It's gonna be perfect good. 677 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: Okay, we have to have like some kind of code. 678 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it'll be Pam, give me our name some 679 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: one or like if so if you're like I really 680 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 1: like this guy, and I'll be like, okay, I mean 681 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: I'm not. 682 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 2: I would never lie. 683 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: I would be like you have but like what like 684 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 1: a girl like a luandelas Countess lan Coat, like love 685 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:53,320 Speaker 1: you c D. We're going for you like what count 686 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: just low see out in that CD kind of like 687 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 1: what it's how about like a workout? What's like a 688 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: work well? 689 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 4: I was just going to say, this is like so random. 690 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 3: Back in the eighties when I was, you know, like 691 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 3: a young kid, so many kids were getting kidnapped. It's 692 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,240 Speaker 3: not funny, but and so there was a code word 693 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 3: that you were supposed to have with your mother. Like 694 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,200 Speaker 3: if somebody said, hey, you know, come here, your mom 695 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 3: said that, like you know, she we need to take 696 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 3: you home from school today. That's what they were saying 697 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 3: to these kids. And so our code word was cheerios. Okay, 698 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 3: my mom and my brother. Maybe that's the bad one. 699 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 3: Maybe that's if we don't like that. 700 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:36,279 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, but I. 701 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 4: Don't know what the good one is. 702 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 1: I don't know, like some kind of like what's like 703 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: something that's really I mean, I like a cheerio, it's fine, 704 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:44,880 Speaker 1: but what something. 705 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 2: Something that's like really good that's like forbidden fruit loop apple? 706 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 2: An Apple? 707 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 4: It's like no but like from the you know they 708 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 4: were supposed to Adam and Eve. 709 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,719 Speaker 2: Oh Apple, Oh here I am, like I'm going like 710 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 2: she's like, no, no key like apple like Adam and Eve. 711 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,360 Speaker 4: You didn't know where I was going. 712 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,839 Speaker 2: She's like, stay with me, stay with me. 713 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,960 Speaker 1: Okay, fine, So apple is for forbidden like hot guy 714 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 1: and the cheerios just like yeah, okay, So all right, 715 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:24,480 Speaker 1: so we have our lingo down and then I want 716 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: to know, like just a quick thing like okay, so 717 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,280 Speaker 1: at a concert, is there a right flag of like people. 718 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:30,879 Speaker 2: Are drinking too much? 719 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,280 Speaker 4: It's too well absolutely too drunk. I can't I can't 720 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 4: do it, Like I just can't do it. 721 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,080 Speaker 3: I'll have you know, it's fine, like a glass of wine, 722 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 3: cocktail or two whatever, but I just I don't like 723 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:44,120 Speaker 3: that at all. 724 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, I want a guy drinks too much? Sorry guys, 725 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:47,279 Speaker 2: and they're like. 726 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 4: I love you and love you. 727 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,240 Speaker 2: It's like, oh my god. 728 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 3: For women, it's just not attractive. And you know, and 729 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,720 Speaker 3: especially at this age. 730 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,680 Speaker 1: Plus, I don't want someone unpacking when they're dropping it, no, 731 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,920 Speaker 1: because if you can't remember it, that you don't need. 732 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:05,279 Speaker 3: I want to remember everything about these experiences that I have, 733 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 3: and you know, it's like clouded. 734 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,640 Speaker 1: Okay that I've one last question. So on your podcast 735 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,080 Speaker 1: with Janna, she said that sometimes she has a hard 736 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 1: time empathiz like not empathizing, but connecting with people that 737 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: are like well known or have been on TV like her. 738 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,959 Speaker 2: And I was listening to that, and I thought to myself, Yes, 739 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 2: sometimes it's. 740 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,960 Speaker 1: Difficult because you're like, Okay, that person's well known and 741 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 1: so they have this whole world that you're thinking of. 742 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 1: But I wanted to address that because I was like, 743 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,320 Speaker 1: you know, there's some people who I've learned so much from, 744 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,719 Speaker 1: whether they're on television or whoever they are, and on 745 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:49,400 Speaker 1: this podcast in particular, like I've gone through such a 746 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 1: like maturation process. I mean, I've grown up so much 747 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,839 Speaker 1: in the past like five or six months. Love that 748 00:36:55,000 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: from therapy to like meeting new people, like making new friends, 749 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 1: being able to like really just be open and honest 750 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:09,360 Speaker 1: and not like not care what people think. And so 751 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,120 Speaker 1: I'm just hoping that like we can all bring something 752 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 1: to someone and you never know what someone's going to 753 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: say that's going to be like, oh my god, yes, yeah, 754 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,759 Speaker 1: you know, like you've said a lot today that, and 755 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,400 Speaker 1: you've said a lot on your both of your podcasts 756 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: that have been like super powerful and very positive, which 757 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 1: I think is so nice too. 758 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,759 Speaker 3: You know, I think that the energy you put out 759 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,839 Speaker 3: is going to be the energy that you get back. 760 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,400 Speaker 3: And so if I'm sitting here saying, oh my gosh, 761 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 3: it's so hard out there, jeez, there's nobody they all, 762 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,440 Speaker 3: I mean, that's what I'm going to keep getting. Yeah, 763 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 3: and it's actually not even like the reality. I mean, 764 00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:49,800 Speaker 3: I'm meeting amazing men doing really cool things that I think, 765 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 3: you know, are evolving pretty well too. 766 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 4: It just maybe there hasn't been you know, the guy, the. 767 00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 2: Guy, the guy. 768 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 1: Okay, so we're going a bottle rock. So we're going 769 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 1: to play some kind of fun. We have to have 770 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:08,279 Speaker 1: a challenge or game or something. Well okay competitive so 771 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: oh wow, Okay, I mean I can be competitive, but 772 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:15,239 Speaker 1: really with myself, not with other people, so I'll be 773 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:21,440 Speaker 1: like cheering you on. I'm so competitive with myself. I 774 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 1: have to turn myself off. I'm like, oh god, there 775 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: she goes again. I have my own inner Pam like 776 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 1: and my own like oh, she's just. 777 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,839 Speaker 2: Too loud of it there. So okay, so let's come 778 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:32,399 Speaker 2: up with a goal. 779 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: So here's some options we can actually Luan, who's on 780 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 1: the house, she was like, She's like, Darling, I want 781 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 1: you to ask a stranger for a drink, and but 782 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 1: you have to write this little note down on a 783 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,520 Speaker 1: piece of paper and like slide it over. 784 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,760 Speaker 2: I was like, so I did it. I did it. 785 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,840 Speaker 4: I did it with my two besday friends. 786 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,560 Speaker 1: I was at a bar in New York City and 787 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,319 Speaker 1: I wrote it and I slid it and this guy 788 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,720 Speaker 1: came over and then I was like, oh. 789 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:08,240 Speaker 4: My god in my heart is like but then. 790 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 1: He happens to be on Love Hotel with Luan, and 791 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 1: I was just like, how is this my life job? 792 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 4: Yeah? 793 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,960 Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I'm going to be a new show 794 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:20,319 Speaker 2: like television. 795 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:20,879 Speaker 4: Like hey. 796 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,920 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's nice for you, and he's 797 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:24,239 Speaker 2: like yeah. 798 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,000 Speaker 4: I was like, what's it called? 799 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 2: He goes Love Hotels? Because everyone falls a. 800 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 4: Red flag for you, like if they're doing something like that. 801 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,200 Speaker 1: For me, it's difficult because like literally every single person 802 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 1: in my whole pool of like my dating pool has 803 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 1: dated someone who I've been on television with. So it's 804 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 1: been like very challenging, and it's just like constantly like, oh, 805 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,279 Speaker 1: I guess who's dating so and so I'm like, oh wow, 806 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,480 Speaker 1: that's great. Okay, So here's our challenge. Okay, I'm going 807 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:55,960 Speaker 1: to give you some options and then you can tell 808 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 1: me yes or no. Okay, Okay, So we can get 809 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,319 Speaker 1: a phone up from a guy, or you can give 810 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 1: someone a phone number. 811 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,160 Speaker 3: So when we say get so, it's not you getting 812 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,920 Speaker 3: the phone number for me. It's like I have to 813 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,320 Speaker 3: get it myself. Oh yeah, oh gosh, oh gosh. 814 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be like, here's your numbers. 815 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,640 Speaker 4: I just I don't know. I just don't. Okay, no, 816 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:15,120 Speaker 4: the phone number. 817 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:16,799 Speaker 2: You can be like I don't know, Like I mean, 818 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,720 Speaker 2: I always say, like I don't get. 819 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:23,720 Speaker 3: On myer initiated a conversation. I can't even give a 820 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,000 Speaker 3: guy eye contact, let alone give him my number. 821 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 4: So this is going to be a lot. 822 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,879 Speaker 1: Okay, just smile, okay for good you're gonna smile. That's 823 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: going to be like people are there, Guys are gonna 824 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 1: be like her. 825 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 4: She's so pretty. 826 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 1: Okay, so we're gonna get a number or and I 827 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 1: think she's like insects. I don't really feel if I'm 828 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 1: comfortable with giving someone my phone number, but fine with 829 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,719 Speaker 1: the Instagram. Instagram Yeah, follow me install I may or 830 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:45,600 Speaker 1: may not read it. 831 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,719 Speaker 2: I'm joking. No, no, I'm definitely gonna read it. Get a 832 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,719 Speaker 2: guy to buy you a drink, So we have to 833 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:53,560 Speaker 2: have someone be like. 834 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,960 Speaker 4: That's easy, I mean because we don't even have to. 835 00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 2: Ask no, no, but you do know. 836 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,239 Speaker 1: But I'm not them coming and saying can I buy 837 00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:02,799 Speaker 1: your drink? You have to say I want you to 838 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 1: buy me a drink? Means you have to you have 839 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,959 Speaker 1: to like initially we're like, it's like you and I. 840 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,840 Speaker 4: Like initi Okay, I get it, I get it. 841 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,720 Speaker 1: Okay, very I'm going to be in a mini skirts, 842 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,799 Speaker 1: so I'm going to be definitely like out there. So, 843 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:21,480 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, here we go. So okay, we have 844 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:25,399 Speaker 1: to ask someone get the drink, phone number. How about 845 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:26,760 Speaker 1: ask a guy to dance? 846 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 2: I could do that, you could, yes, Oh my god. 847 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 3: I could do that maybe for like, I just like 848 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 3: for some reason when I so dancing is just so 849 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:41,479 Speaker 3: I love it so much. 850 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,719 Speaker 4: Are you a good dancer? Yes? 851 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm awful. 852 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:45,439 Speaker 4: Laugh. 853 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,320 Speaker 3: I mean I could see myself like grabbing a guy's 854 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,839 Speaker 3: hand and like trolling or doing something. 855 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, I could do that. 856 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 1: Oh god, Okay, this is gonna be great. All right, 857 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 1: and then I'm going to make an introduction to someone 858 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 1: who I think is like attractive, so I kind of 859 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,480 Speaker 1: know your vibe. 860 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,239 Speaker 4: And no he is not. I didn't like them when 861 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,560 Speaker 4: I was in a sorority. Let alone. 862 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:12,480 Speaker 2: Now see this is good. So we're like, we're like 863 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:13,080 Speaker 2: all good. 864 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 1: And then we're going to go to Bottle Rock and 865 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 1: we're gonna have the best time, and then we're going 866 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:18,920 Speaker 1: to recap all this. 867 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,719 Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Pamelin. 868 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to just call you Pam, but in my InterVoice, 869 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 1: I'm not going to say that out loud because I 870 00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:27,880 Speaker 1: don't want your mom to get mad at me if 871 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 1: I ever meet her. 872 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,720 Speaker 3: Well, I have an alter ego that's called Pittsburgh Pam, 873 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 3: and we talked about that. 874 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:33,880 Speaker 4: I love Pittsburgh. 875 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:39,320 Speaker 3: It's like when you just take me to like the pizza. 876 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,759 Speaker 3: I will just bring her out. 877 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, wait, where are you from? 878 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,080 Speaker 2: Pittsburgh. 879 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 4: It's a town called mun Hall Homestead. It's like where 880 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,359 Speaker 4: all the steel meals used to be. 881 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,680 Speaker 2: And yeah, Pittsburgh is a vibe. 882 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,280 Speaker 4: It's like so great there. I'm so grateful that I 883 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,240 Speaker 4: grew up there and you bug all the time. 884 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:56,920 Speaker 2: I love that. 885 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:58,319 Speaker 4: Yes, I love that. 886 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,239 Speaker 1: All right, you guys, thank you to Pamelin so much 887 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,359 Speaker 1: for coming. Jana, thank you so much for introducing me. 888 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,560 Speaker 1: We're gonna have the best time ever here in bond 889 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:11,919 Speaker 1: Rock here and Nepa Belli. I'm not a singer, bye 890 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:12,400 Speaker 1: saying it. 891 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,960 Speaker 2: I don't know why I can't waity. 892 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,719 Speaker 1: So are you ready to date again? But need some 893 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:23,560 Speaker 1: wing woman advice? Your mentors are here to help. Email 894 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,960 Speaker 1: us or call us. All the infos in the show notes, 895 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,800 Speaker 1: follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review 896 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:33,480 Speaker 1: the podcast. I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where 897 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,600 Speaker 1: falling in love is the main objective.