Speaker 1: How'd you feel about today?
Speaker 2: Awesome?
Speaker 3: It is like going back home right in some respect
Speaker 3: every time I do a morning show. So like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's what I started to do. Since I was nineteen,
Speaker 3: I've been in the news business. What was in the
Speaker 3: news business? Yeah, because I used to be the editor.
Speaker 3: That's how I know Kat. I used to be her
Speaker 3: editor in two thousand and one.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Her and Terry were my boss.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: So what do you feel is like the sweet spot?
Speaker 4: What makes a good morning situation?
Speaker 2: I you know, it's a lot of things.
Speaker 3: It's sort of like walking in New York City, or
Speaker 3: like learning how to drive in New York City.
Speaker 2: Or like learning a language.
Speaker 3: You learn all the rules and then you learn how
Speaker 3: to break them. M You understand like the pace, and
Speaker 3: you know what stories are really important, how to crash something,
Speaker 3: how to make executive decisions, how to pivot, how to
Speaker 3: deal with difficult personalities, how to pick yourself up off
Speaker 3: the floor when a crisis is happening. My first news director,
Speaker 3: Lewis Pumenta, who was so and he was a black
Speaker 3: dude with like a Spanish last name, which is this
Speaker 3: so wild in South Florida, and he's like, find something
Speaker 3: you love to do and it won't feel like work.
Speaker 3: And he also said, anytime you get a chance, put
Speaker 3: brown and black people as b roll cut them in
Speaker 3: because you know, oftentimes we just see black and brown
Speaker 3: people as a criminal or a dead body that we're
Speaker 3: talking about. And he's like, you know, people don't even know,
Speaker 3: but just like let them see. And then another tip
Speaker 3: was you have to write the news like you're talking
Speaker 3: to a five year old. Now that I have four
Speaker 3: and a half year olds, I'm like, I understand.
Speaker 1: Now, got to get the vegetables in.
Speaker 2: So hey, everyone, welcome to ADULTAG.
Speaker 3: This is Michelle Beatae with Jordan Carlos, and we are
Speaker 3: talking about Mourning TV because we just did Good Morning America.
Speaker 3: It was actually Good Afternoon in America because it's GMA three,
Speaker 3: which is.
Speaker 2: The later show.
Speaker 3: And if you were curious, no, it does not get
Speaker 3: sassy later.
Speaker 2: But you said something sassy which I don't remember. What
Speaker 2: did you say?
Speaker 4: I said that I noticed that a lot of our
Speaker 4: listeners want to know if they're okay like opening up
Speaker 4: their marriage.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I was like Jould in drop the BAM.
Speaker 4: I was like, here you go, let's mix it up
Speaker 4: a little bit, let's do it, and everybody was like,
Speaker 4: the buttle's tight.
Speaker 1: It was like, come on, y'all, that's what they asked.
Speaker 2: Well, you literally.
Speaker 3: Went from talking about your young son, yeah, being sad
Speaker 3: about giving his stuffed animals away because he's got to
Speaker 3: grow up and be a teenager, to open marriage and so.
Speaker 2: You know, it was a curveball.
Speaker 1: That's what I do.
Speaker 4: I throw a slider, curveball, change up, change the speeds,
Speaker 4: you know what, knock it back.
Speaker 2: Are you speaking English leagues? Are you speaking.
Speaker 3: What in the league of their own is going on?
Speaker 3: Are you the black Tom Hanks listen?
Speaker 1: I mean they were grabbing the wrong pig by the ear.
Speaker 1: I was like, I am going.
Speaker 3: To please, if you're listening, don't grab any pigs by
Speaker 3: the ear. Oh my god, it was so nice to
Speaker 3: see you on morning television because it felt like you're
Speaker 3: finally getting your flowers shut the front.
Speaker 4: Okay, first of all, stop you're the one. Okay, fine,
Speaker 4: thank you, But also I'm not the one who walked
Speaker 4: away with a giant gold chain which they draped on
Speaker 4: her shoulders head the end of this recording, which you
Speaker 4: can see, we will definitely put it on the ig page.
Speaker 4: So it was insane and it was just like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, look at my friend.
Speaker 1: They love you there, they love you there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love them too. I have a lot of
Speaker 2: good friends there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When you graduate college, you think that you're supposed to
Speaker 3: all of a sudden become an adult and you don't.
Speaker 3: But it really is like your first job out of college,
Speaker 3: like your coworkers, that you bond with those people, especially
Speaker 3: if they're older people, they have more of an impact
Speaker 3: on your life and you know how you walk through
Speaker 3: the world as an adult. And so I was so
Speaker 3: happy that I basically met every black woman that works
Speaker 3: in the Tri State area in the local news business,
Speaker 3: because I am still friends with most of them and
Speaker 3: like good friends, and like we are happy for each
Speaker 3: other when we see each other because we know that
Speaker 3: my win is there when and vice versa, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean.
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, shouting them out, Yeah, and like they
Speaker 4: were so cool a Kat and then Terry who oh.
Speaker 2: We name a name.
Speaker 1: Sorry that I mean they're we name a name name.
Speaker 1: We love Terry out here.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying, it's just like really cool that they
Speaker 4: look out for you, that they want the best for you.
Speaker 4: They're trying to put you in a position to succeed,
Speaker 4: you know, and they trust like your skills and your
Speaker 4: and your comedy and it's it's wonderful and it's.
Speaker 2: Like and guess what, and I trust there? Oh you
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker 2: It's trust, you know.
Speaker 4: So just to break it all the way down, hmm,
Speaker 4: y'all need to watch the whole segment. Michelle and I
Speaker 4: came out. Michelle was definitely dropping it. I was like
Speaker 4: deer in headlights, like assist, but you were definitely dropping it.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how low you would drop it. I
Speaker 1: was like yeah.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh my, yeah, it's happening. I loved it, Michelle.
Speaker 4: It was from Fit to Finish fantastic.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love the question that they asked us about what
Speaker 3: have we learned through adulting like doing our podcast. But
Speaker 3: I was thinking about it on the way home and
Speaker 3: what I learned through comedy comedy like terrible shows, amazing shows,
Speaker 3: empty shows, sold out shows. I just learned how to
Speaker 3: take my space because I've earned it, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, especially working behind the camera and now in
Speaker 3: front when someone's like okay, walk out, I'm like just
Speaker 3: walking out, bitch. Yeah, because I'm not promised tomorrow. So
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give you the one woman show that you
Speaker 3: never asked for. And half the time people are looking
Speaker 3: at me, I'm like, can you tell them the only child?
Speaker 2: But that's what it is.
Speaker 3: It's like take space in every moment, and I see
Speaker 3: a lot of people doing it now. And all I'm
Speaker 3: saying is I don't need a residual check. I just
Speaker 3: need to thank you.
Speaker 4: Whoa man? You need stamps? Why don't you get stamps
Speaker 4: and stickers? I'm tired of it. Stamp stickers and fortune cookies.
Speaker 4: That's what Michelle be Tony is.
Speaker 3: No more, Mom, I'm schlapping these T shirts all over
Speaker 3: the country.
Speaker 2: I don't need any more things.
Speaker 4: Honestly, I think it's SSFC like stamps, stickers, fortune cookers,
Speaker 4: fortune fortune cookers.
Speaker 1: I'm doing like you goodbye.
Speaker 3: See See what happens when you have to use your
Speaker 3: brain super early?
Speaker 2: It gets broke, bitch. Everyone's like, are you drunk?
Speaker 3: U slurs like no, I've just been working for twenty
Speaker 3: seven hours straight.
Speaker 4: But you get excited, like you want to make a point,
Speaker 4: and then you'll do this thing and it'll be like,
Speaker 4: oh no, yeah.
Speaker 3: It sucks because like my brain will freeze or parts
Speaker 3: or another EF word, or I'll start slurring my words,
Speaker 3: and you know it's so funny. Yeah, my son oftentimes
Speaker 3: will stutter because he's like very excited, and I know
Speaker 3: that his brain is working faster than his mouth can
Speaker 3: because that happened to me when I was little. And
Speaker 3: when you get older, it's not stuttering, it's slurring. Your
Speaker 3: mouth literally can't keep up with how fast your brain is,
Speaker 3: at least mine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, comedy is such a.
Speaker 3: Great way to diffuse any sort of embarrassment for yourself
Speaker 3: because I'm just like, it's shameless.
Speaker 2: It is what it is.
Speaker 5: Like.
Speaker 3: I remember hosting a show one time at Comics and
Speaker 3: my mouth hit the microphone. Have I told you the
Speaker 3: story before that happened to you? Mouth hit the microphone. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's so gross because you're like you it feels like
Speaker 3: your mouth touched a public toilet seat, do you know
Speaker 3: what I mean? And I had a piece of rice
Speaker 3: on my lip after and I didn't have rice for dinner.
Speaker 3: Take your time, dot, everybody, take your.
Speaker 2: Time, Take your time everyone.
Speaker 3: Kist just made me a delicious cup of coffee that
Speaker 3: he's going to give to me right now.
Speaker 2: Hi, baby, I put you on mute. Thank you, baby,
Speaker 2: I love you.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you something. Every time we do this recording, Mama,
Speaker 4: caist comes in.
Speaker 1: What's up? Heist?
Speaker 4: Vander MOOSEA the vander Moose always comes in with a
Speaker 4: little plate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well Coop, Yeah, he feeds me. He just cared
Speaker 2: me the crim on top. Look at that cream on
Speaker 2: top that.
Speaker 4: Look at that phone. For those listening, you can't see.
Speaker 4: It's all good. We get the phone on the top.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's at least yeah, I mean that's
Speaker 4: a quarter of an inch phone right there? Did he
Speaker 4: draw something on that?
Speaker 2: Sometimes he makes a little hard I'll tell you.
Speaker 3: If you make my cappuccino this creamy, I'm gonna eat
Speaker 3: your cream.
Speaker 2: Hello, what's this thing on?
Speaker 1: So many ways to go with that. But that's that's great.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It was really sweet too.
Speaker 3: Speaking of supportive partners, your wife was at Good Morning
Speaker 3: America with you and it was so cute and I
Speaker 3: was taking a picture of you guys. Literally they're like
Speaker 3: pawing each other's faces. I'm like, can you guys not
Speaker 3: touch each other? And you guys are like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: we can't help that.
Speaker 2: She was cute.
Speaker 4: She looked like she was gonna do the weather in
Speaker 4: a minute. I was like, why it was like, it
Speaker 4: was so cute.
Speaker 2: Why were you surprised?
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: I was like, she's wearing the jewel's tones and like
Speaker 4: she looked good. She was having fun. She was more
Speaker 4: nervous than I was.
Speaker 2: Now, when you bring your partner to something that you're
Speaker 2: doing for the first time, does her energy feed yours
Speaker 2: in a good way where you're just like I feel relaxed,
Speaker 2: or do you feel like you have to take care
Speaker 2: of her and like host her.
Speaker 4: It's it's an ambrosia salad mm hmm. There's a couple
Speaker 4: of things happening at once.
Speaker 1: You know. It's like, you know, it's.
Speaker 3: An a rugola and strawberry balsamic mash up. You're like,
Speaker 3: what's this feeda doing here?
Speaker 1: There's so much going on at once.
Speaker 4: It took me a long time to understand that, like,
Speaker 4: you know, she wants me to do well, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean, and that this person is showed up
Speaker 4: and they are here for you mm hmm. And it
Speaker 4: took a lot of like just getting over myself and
Speaker 4: like my own insecurities to just be like, my wife's here,
Speaker 4: it's great.
Speaker 1: You know, why can't it be great?
Speaker 4: Yeah, So like, yes, I need to make sure that
Speaker 4: she is comfortable, and yes I need to introduce her
Speaker 4: to people. That's a part of it. That's part of
Speaker 4: the program. You know, she doesn't want all the attention.
Speaker 4: She certainly doesn't. She wants the picture in front of GMA,
Speaker 4: take a picture with you, take a picture and send
Speaker 4: it to you her friends. She's so happy that she
Speaker 4: had the experience. She's in New York or she's never
Speaker 4: been in that studio mm hmm. She was like, babe,
Speaker 4: that you showed me all the nooks and crannies of
Speaker 4: New York, a city I've lived in my whole life.
Speaker 1: I think that's like really cool.
Speaker 4: And we were just talking about that on the way
Speaker 4: back home, and I was like, ah, babe, you know,
Speaker 4: it's just nice to be able to show them aside
Speaker 4: of New York that they haven't seen when they're a native.
Speaker 4: You know, it's nuts, you know, so that all is
Speaker 4: kind of baked into it.
Speaker 3: You know, I understand. I overstand all of it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because you know, I am maternal and I'm a host,
Speaker 3: and I want to make sure people are okay, and
Speaker 3: I feed off of energy and that's how you sort
Speaker 3: of become a good boss. But also like, you know,
Speaker 3: it is important to have me time and this is
Speaker 3: my job and this is my space, and let me
Speaker 3: navigate this and take control of it first, and then
Speaker 3: I can invite you in and then figure out who
Speaker 3: to introduce you to. Even yeah, and I think that
Speaker 3: we're definitely you are definitely at a place where you
Speaker 3: can do that.
Speaker 2: You know, you pick and choose what makes you comfortable.
Speaker 3: I remember, like the first time Kais is like, I
Speaker 3: don't want to come to your show with you tonight.
Speaker 2: You go, because I would do shows.
Speaker 3: Every night and I was like, I want to hold
Speaker 3: with me, and it was like, oh, that's not how
Speaker 3: he needs to show how he loves me, you know,
Speaker 3: Like I come back home from my show and he
Speaker 3: has my bonnet laid out on my pillow case for me,
Speaker 3: and that's love.
Speaker 1: What is Oh my god, get you one, get you one?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm teaching him about lotion and stuff and edges even
Speaker 3: though he's bald. It's great. We just oil up our
Speaker 3: elbows before we go to bed.
Speaker 4: No, no, I mean it is the kind of sign
Speaker 4: of an interracial relationship. If you see a moisturized white person, yeah,
Speaker 4: there's a very good chance that they are in an
Speaker 4: interracial relationship. So oh, white people don't believe in lotion.
Speaker 4: They think it's like the government trying to steal money
Speaker 4: from them.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what, Like, I still put baby oil on
Speaker 3: my four year old kids when they come out of
Speaker 3: the bath.
Speaker 2: And he's like, when do we have to stop doing this?
Speaker 1: I'm like, never, never, you always need it.
Speaker 3: Like they like, but they dry, let's go. It's so funny.
Speaker 3: But yes, us and our white partners. Anyways, you know what,
Speaker 3: you guys, this is going to be a very special
Speaker 3: episode because we have been friends with this guy for
Speaker 3: a very long time.
Speaker 2: In fact, I think I met him before I met you, Jordan.
Speaker 1: What impossible. And by the way, now I'm offended what
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I really love you guys. I does feel like a
Speaker 3: trio when we're all together. Even though we all have
Speaker 3: very separate lives, we all come together and it does
Speaker 3: feel like it's serving a fucking de grassy high that
Speaker 3: nobody would watch Slash everybody would talk.
Speaker 2: About and we have had him on the live show.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, when we were a hiatus not doing
Speaker 3: this podcast, and so he's done the live show. He
Speaker 3: does comedy, he's an actor, he's a writer, he's a host,
Speaker 3: he's a producer, he is my Persian pony. He's an
Speaker 3: irene and you what else can I say about him?
Speaker 3: He's also an author, and I'm so excited that we
Speaker 3: finally have him on the motherfucking show. I'm so sad
Speaker 3: it can't be a live show, but it's still gonna
Speaker 3: be live no matter what.
Speaker 1: So clap it up.
Speaker 3: Look at you, you clap, he's clapping, clapping it up.
Speaker 2: Do you have anything you want to say about him before.
Speaker 1: We bring him on.
Speaker 4: He's got a new book out called Undercooked. He's got
Speaker 4: his podcast, Green Eggs and Dan. I've been on that
Speaker 4: a couple of times. Loved it. I know you're gonna
Speaker 4: love him. Please give it up for the one and
Speaker 4: only Danna dude. Oh eat on number really happening?
Speaker 2: Number one?
Speaker 1: You know? Eat on number one? Wow?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, I was still doing it.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, sorry, guys, I was on mute. I didn't
Speaker 1: hear any of that. What was that?
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness, dan Kaya dude, Hi guys am, I
Speaker 5: are we live?
Speaker 1: Are we doing this or are we just bantering?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 4: We're live. We're so live. To the people in Times Square,
Speaker 4: what do you want to say to them?
Speaker 1: Right now? Wait?
Speaker 2: Can I tell you? I was still enjoying before you
Speaker 2: came on?
Speaker 3: It does feel like when we get together this is
Speaker 3: like an episode of De Grassy High that nobody wants
Speaker 3: to watch, but everyone's talking about. Because I don't know
Speaker 3: when we became a trio, but somehow we became the trio.
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that you. I think I was. I'm
Speaker 5: the glue. I think I independently was spoken like a
Speaker 5: middle child, spoken like a.
Speaker 1: I am the glue. I am all that keeps us together.
Speaker 5: I was friends with both of you independently. And then
Speaker 5: next thing, I know, behind my bat you my glue.
Speaker 5: You used my glue behind my back.
Speaker 3: We were also getting booked on a lot of like
Speaker 3: black shows and shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah damn, and you weren't. Yeah you're not black. First
Speaker 1: of all, I was getting booked on black shows.
Speaker 4: Okay, famously your first show ever that your parents came
Speaker 4: to right.
Speaker 1: Yes, it was talent to the comedian whose name was talent.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I remembered.
Speaker 1: Ballent.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Well, yes, I mean, can I just
Speaker 2: ask how are you, friend? How are you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm okay, I'm uh, you know, hanging in there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a there's a lot of interesting things going
Speaker 5: on in the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And I'm also like, at the same time, trying to
Speaker 5: be funny and trying to furnish a multifamily property that
Speaker 5: I recently purchased, and trying to sell a refrigerator on Craigslist.
Speaker 1: Are we allowed to sell shit on Craigslist?
Speaker 5: One?
Speaker 2: That is the most persian answer I've ever.
Speaker 4: Heard in the middle of a podcast. Tell us about
Speaker 4: this place of furniture, tell us about this item.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Actually, that's the only reason I'm here. I have a
Speaker 5: ge forty inch wide fridge. Oh that is in perfect
Speaker 5: working condition?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 5: Am I interested? I put it on Facebook Messenger. I
Speaker 5: think Facebook, not Messenger, Facebook Marketplace. I think it's a messenger.
Speaker 5: That's your first problem. Yeh, hey, mom, you want this for?
Speaker 1: What? All My relatives are like, do you They're like,
Speaker 1: do you need money? Are you okay?
Speaker 4: Is it the stainless steel one that's in your kitchen
Speaker 4: or the one that's in the upstairs apartment.
Speaker 5: No, it's the stainless steel one. But this is in
Speaker 5: this new property that I got. They left it over sure,
Speaker 5: and I'm putting it on craigslisten on Facebook Marketplace and
Speaker 5: people are recognizing me and they're like, aren't you the
Speaker 5: guy from Cobra Kai.
Speaker 1: Why are you selling shit on Facebook marketplace.
Speaker 2: Because there's a strike.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also, even if there wasn't a strike, we're not allowed
Speaker 5: to sell things we're not worth.
Speaker 1: I know, commerce, commerce ends.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 3: There's always like that cool Los Angeles actor, comedian host
Speaker 3: WhatsApp thread where you're like, hey, guys, I'm selling this thing,
Speaker 3: or I need like a bedroom for a month, do
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? I feel like people probably
Speaker 3: think you know people and yet do no.
Speaker 5: I will sell I will sell Trager pellets to a
Speaker 5: motherfucker on Facebook marketplaceangs.
Speaker 1: Dollars for twenty dollars of bags.
Speaker 2: Slow down. I hope there's a metal detective in yrt house.
Speaker 2: You a gangster?
Speaker 3: Listen if people are recognizing you? What happens when you
Speaker 3: internet date?
Speaker 1: When I internet date?
Speaker 5: Well, the funny thing is, I feel like my celebrity
Speaker 5: attracts every person except for the person that I'm trying
Speaker 5: to date. I attract men from ages of twenty eight
Speaker 5: to fifty. Yum, listen up, I attract children because I
Speaker 5: was on Disney's kicking it.
Speaker 2: We're talking about dating apps. But thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Go ahead.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying on a date. I'm saying in
Speaker 1: the world.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I'm just saying the shows that I've
Speaker 5: done are all either male skewing or children skewing. And
Speaker 5: so I my celebrity does not help me in the
Speaker 5: dating world at all, right.
Speaker 1: It helps me get out of tickets. Cops love Cobra Kai.
Speaker 3: Also, we went to Disney World one time and we
Speaker 3: got treated like royalty because of your show.
Speaker 1: Yes, that was the Falafel phil falafel Phill effect.
Speaker 5: Although now the falafel Fillers are I just did a
Speaker 5: I just did a college show, which is what you
Speaker 5: and I the three of us used to do back
Speaker 5: in the day. I haven't been booked in a college
Speaker 5: in like five years probably, and I happened to have these.
Speaker 1: Two shows last week.
Speaker 5: Yo, the falafel Phills, the falafel Fillers are like eighteen
Speaker 5: nineteen twenty now like they lost Oh goddamn mine.
Speaker 1: That you were out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing because also you age well.
Speaker 1: So they're just like, yeah, do.
Speaker 2: I want to date flafful Phil.
Speaker 3: Look, that's gotta be weird, right, Like that's why Santa
Speaker 3: never ages.
Speaker 2: Hello, everyone, give me a minute.
Speaker 4: Dan ages so well that he went from ball to
Speaker 4: having hair.
Speaker 5: Well, the thing is, I thought I was losing my hair,
Speaker 5: so I shaved my head because I wanted to preempt it.
Speaker 5: I didn't want to be that person who looks like
Speaker 5: they're like holding on to vestiges of a youth. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so I shaved my head and then I like couldn't
Speaker 5: get a haircut for a while, and it started growing
Speaker 5: in and I was like, wait, I think I have hair,
Speaker 5: And then everyone thought I got hair plugs.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 5: Everyone thinks I have hair plugs. A lot of people
Speaker 5: think I have hair plugs.
Speaker 4: You're saying, like a cousin said that to you, and
Speaker 4: then maybe Mo said that to you, your buddy Mo,
Speaker 4: and that's it, and no one else has said that
Speaker 4: you have hair plugs at all. Okay, don't universalize that.
Speaker 5: I take propicia, though I've invested probably thirty thousand dollars
Speaker 5: of propicia into that kind of hair.
Speaker 2: Nice. That's what I like about you. Self care is
Speaker 2: not selfish? Do you know what I mean? He's out here,
Speaker 2: he doing it.
Speaker 5: I got a pedicure yesterday, which I have not done
Speaker 5: in fifteen years.
Speaker 1: Let's call it. Can I be okay? This might be
Speaker 1: a little racist? Is that? Okay? Oh boy, oh boy?
Speaker 1: Here we go in this economy. We'll see, here we go,
Speaker 1: we'll see.
Speaker 2: We can edit.
Speaker 1: My butthole is so tight? What's going on?
Speaker 2: I got bubble guts?
Speaker 1: Oh good? Is he gonna do it? I yelped? What
Speaker 1: was a good pedicurist here? I'm already out?
Speaker 3: No? We no, let's not. Let's talk about your book. Okay,
Speaker 3: talk about your book?
Speaker 1: Why? What?
Speaker 2: What made you decide to write this book?
Speaker 3: Honestly? What did your dad say when he read your book?
Speaker 3: Because I think I met your dad once in Passing
Speaker 3: because Dave brought him to like our furniture store opening,
Speaker 3: and uh, it was so funny when he walked in.
Speaker 2: I didn't know he was your dad.
Speaker 3: I was just like, ooh, I feel like he knows
Speaker 3: good Friendshire, but I don't know if he's gonna buy it.
Speaker 3: And then like Dave came up to me. He's like,
Speaker 3: that's my daddy's so cheap, you won't buy anything. I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker 3: I was like, I already got the vibe. You know,
Speaker 3: the vibe when you work in sales, right, and so yeah,
Speaker 3: what did he what did he say?
Speaker 1: What does he think? Well, I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 5: So I started walking to the pedicurist and it was
Speaker 5: two blocks.
Speaker 3: So this whole episode just needs to be called unhinged
Speaker 3: because every motherfucking thing that's Dan.
Speaker 1: Though from far away he seems like a normal dude.
Speaker 4: You get close to Dana, dude, okay, crazy, I know,
Speaker 4: it's just nuts.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 5: I mean, this is like the most danced Okay, wait,
Speaker 5: are there pedicure places that are that are run by
Speaker 5: like hot Russian women?
Speaker 1: It was weird to me. I thought something was off.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, I thought something was off. Oh boy, Why
Speaker 1: wouldn't that happen in Los Angeles? I don't know. It
Speaker 1: just seemed like a front. It seems like.
Speaker 5: Something was up and I didn't go, Oh my goodness,
Speaker 5: you did not go.
Speaker 3: We got to bring it black. I don't want to
Speaker 3: talk about your feet. And a Russia was trying to
Speaker 3: send money to her family. This is the last thing
Speaker 3: I showed up for. I have lashes on. I did a.
Speaker 2: Morning show this morning.
Speaker 1: She did, she did great.
Speaker 3: I'm a good person. I'm on my third cup of coffee.
Speaker 3: We're gonna talk about something else because there's too much
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 1: Not too okay my book? Oh did Michelle freeze? She did?
Speaker 1: She did.
Speaker 4: She'll be back in just a moment. But I really
Speaker 4: loved your book.
Speaker 5: Dude, Wait, why don't you hold this for when we're
Speaker 5: actually using footage?
Speaker 1: You wait till we're gonna cut out.
Speaker 4: We're gonna wait, We're gonna wait, and I'll tell you
Speaker 4: that I loved it again.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, trust me this much. Dan, we're gonna get
Speaker 1: back on the air and you're gonna be all cool, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't read shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, your book a little undercooked.
Speaker 1: I would never come on. We loved your book, Bud
Speaker 1: and Michelle. You had a question.
Speaker 3: I don't really remember because I froze. It's so funny
Speaker 3: because I froze. But I can also hear you guys
Speaker 3: talking about and it feels like I'm Peate Hudson in
Speaker 3: the Skeleton Key where I'm just like I hear you.
Speaker 2: You know, it's over your body. I'm like, I'm here.
Speaker 5: So you were asking about my book and what my
Speaker 5: dad's reaction was, so just real. Briefly, my book is
Speaker 5: a comedic food memoir in the style of like a
Speaker 5: David Sadaris book, but about food, not my words.
Speaker 1: The reviews. The reviews are in. Wow, compared himself favorably
Speaker 1: to David Sidaris.
Speaker 5: Okay, yes, the reviews by my mother are in and
Speaker 5: oh my god. But anyway, it's like it's also like
Speaker 5: a big, big homage to my father and my relationship
Speaker 5: with my dad.
Speaker 1: Yes, and I.
Speaker 5: Was expecting a grandiose kind of oh my god, thank
Speaker 5: you for this. This is amazing from my father. And
Speaker 5: all I got was he sent me an email because
Speaker 5: there's a story in it that has some scatological elements
Speaker 5: and I'm not into scatological humor whatsoever, but like, you
Speaker 5: couldn't get away from it in the story. And my
Speaker 5: dad just wrote to me and said, good book. Don't
Speaker 5: talk about your shit.
Speaker 1: Wait, your baggage orus just like just your poo poo, No,
Speaker 1: just my poo boo. Oh my god. I spent two
Speaker 1: years writing an homage to my father.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I mean that's just immigrant stuff. I mean,
Speaker 5: Michelle and I talk about this a lot. Yeah, we
Speaker 5: will never get the praise that we want from them,
Speaker 5: which is why we keep going because we're like, I know,
Speaker 5: we are under the wrong impression that one day we
Speaker 5: will get that praise even though we never will.
Speaker 1: But man, does that drive us or at least me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the same as being a middle child Jordan,
Speaker 3: you get it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean Dan is actually a middle child in
Speaker 4: an immigrant situation, so it's even more compounded.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, exactly. He's an overachiever and doing a job
Speaker 1: that is very unacceptable to immigrants, you know, m Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's trifecta.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which also is nice because then no one can
Speaker 3: like say anything, right, Like, they can't say you're doing
Speaker 3: it right or wrong because they don't.
Speaker 2: No, we're just out here figuring it out for ourselves. Right.
Speaker 5: Well, that's the thing you have, like the two extremes, right,
Speaker 5: Like I have my friend's parents who are like very
Speaker 5: heavily invested in my career, and they will just like
Speaker 5: ask me like all these inside baseball questions and I'm like,
Speaker 5: oh god, now I got to answer all these or
Speaker 5: I have my parents who are the complete opposite, and
Speaker 5: they're just like, what do you do for a living?
Speaker 2: I know, it's like a cute hobby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's one extreme or the other. And I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't know what I'd prefer, but you get what
Speaker 5: you get.
Speaker 3: So at this point, when you go on a date
Speaker 3: with somebody, right you're in your forties, how much do
Speaker 3: you have to talk about yourself? How much information do
Speaker 3: you have to like really give somebody dating in your forties,
Speaker 3: do they want to know right away if you've been
Speaker 3: married or engaged, or lived with somebody, or have kids
Speaker 3: or pets, or if you're allergic or your foodologies?
Speaker 2: Like are you guys like get into all that right
Speaker 2: away when.
Speaker 3: You're dating in your forties or is it just like
Speaker 3: a say, lovey situation.
Speaker 1: I don't know that.
Speaker 5: I sense like a big difference. There's definitely a little
Speaker 5: bit of like were you married, were you engaged? Were
Speaker 5: you this and that?
Speaker 2: M hmmm?
Speaker 5: Which I was engaged, So I got that. I got
Speaker 5: that under my belt.
Speaker 1: Yeah you do. I can bring that to the table.
Speaker 1: I remember I was there. You guys are both there.
Speaker 1: We love you. What what does we love you have
Speaker 1: to do with it? I don't know, George. Just now
Speaker 1: that you're supported. No, you're supported, and we love you.
Speaker 1: Jordan turns everything into a fucking AA meeting, like, dude,
Speaker 1: yeah I do. I'm just yeah, I do because I
Speaker 1: have to get through this. I have to get through
Speaker 1: this too. I'm alan on and you're AA okay, so
Speaker 1: I have to get through this. All right. You are loved.
Speaker 5: Wow, you are loved, You are seen, you are seen,
Speaker 5: you are validated.
Speaker 2: You are enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are enough. Absolutely. Yeah. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't before you tell us, before you
Speaker 1: go on, let me tell you something.
Speaker 4: I love you, Oh my god. Now go ahead, now,
Speaker 4: please go ahead, now, please go ahead. I just want
Speaker 4: to Oh my god. I just want to be clear, okay, please.
Speaker 2: I don't know how you say I love you, but
Speaker 2: it makes it about you. At the same time, it's a.
Speaker 4: Using place to be living here because I don't put
Speaker 4: the emphasis on you say I love you.
Speaker 5: Jordan Carlos loves doing therapist cosplay, where he dresses up
Speaker 5: like a therapist.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 5: You'll say something like hey, Jordan, fuck, I want to
Speaker 5: get lunch. I don't know if you shoul get pizza
Speaker 5: a sandwich, and he'll be like, where do you think
Speaker 5: indecisiveness started in your life?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you talking about? Jordan? What should
Speaker 1: I get pizza? Is said? Like were you not validated
Speaker 1: your feelings as a child? So you're just left. I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: am I getting a pizza a sandwich?
Speaker 4: I get in network therapy? Sometimes I think I get
Speaker 4: too much and it's got to go somewhere. The energy
Speaker 4: has got to go somewhere, That's all. I'm sorry. Okay,
Speaker 4: you we have a crisis, but can we Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 4: but crisis also means new beginning in Greek. Please go ahead, Jesus.
Speaker 3: I've already paid my taxes and folded my laundry while
Speaker 3: you guys were talking about this.
Speaker 1: You know what's wrong?
Speaker 5: Jordan does that dumb I wake up at five in
Speaker 5: the morning thing that he's doing that he has to
Speaker 5: tell the whole world about, and so he's already been
Speaker 5: up for Like what the fuck is going on? It's
Speaker 5: like four pm for him, And yeah I just woke
Speaker 5: up and yeah it is four pm for me right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 5: Jordan's just like had a whole day. Yeah, and you know,
Speaker 5: I'm just revving up.
Speaker 1: Okay, we actually.
Speaker 2: I mean we actually did have a day. We just
Speaker 2: came from Good Morning America.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Dan, flex flex flex.
Speaker 3: I mean it's just facts, Yeah, flexing facts.
Speaker 1: This is what happened. And what were you going to say?
Speaker 1: Dating in your forties, go, I don't know, it's fucking dating.
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't think it's that different. All right, Okay, I
Speaker 5: don't think it's that different.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, Well, are you dating age appropriate women?
Speaker 1: Okay, what does that mean? What does that mean?
Speaker 4: Yeah, my client does not have to answer these questions
Speaker 4: if they will incriminate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jordan.
Speaker 4: I think she means I think she means in the
Speaker 4: ten year range, like around the tenure ange, maybe ten
Speaker 4: years senior and maybe ten years junior.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's that, and then there's you know, there's outliers
Speaker 5: as well. I mean, I look in the worlds of
Speaker 5: tripe cul quests, I like a brown yellow Puerto ricaner Haitian. Yes,
Speaker 5: and oh my god, so I don't like to limit myself.
Speaker 2: What in the ethnic Joe Rogan is going on?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 2: This is like affirmative action but.
Speaker 5: Joe Rogan, listen, I will say this, I'll never I
Speaker 5: feel like I know a lot of guys in their
Speaker 5: forties who will lie about their age on dates, and
Speaker 5: that to me seems so gross.
Speaker 1: I will never ever do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, lying in general is gross.
Speaker 1: Yeah, although you know it's funny.
Speaker 5: I've come around to white lies, Okay, Like I used
Speaker 5: to live this life of radical honesty because like I
Speaker 5: read this book and I was like, oh, this is
Speaker 5: the way you should live your life, like just literally
Speaker 5: no lying.
Speaker 2: Mmm.
Speaker 5: But I feel like there's a finesse to white lies
Speaker 5: that can spare someone's feelings in a way that I
Speaker 5: think is important. Again, nothing hurtful, nothing too crazy, not
Speaker 5: like a big lie. Yeah, but like you know, if
Speaker 5: the reason you're breaking up with someone, let's say, is
Speaker 5: because you're no longer attracted to them, whatever, like that
Speaker 5: just seems like an awful thing to say to someone,
Speaker 5: I think it's okay to come up with a different
Speaker 5: excuse or whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's also like not what you say, it's
Speaker 3: how you say it, right, Like if you are bringing
Speaker 3: up with someone because you're not attracted to them anymore.
Speaker 3: It can also be presented as we're not moving in
Speaker 3: the same direction, yes, or my heart is not in.
Speaker 1: It like it used to exactly.
Speaker 3: And I do think like, hey, we went to school,
Speaker 3: most of us went to school. We do have a vocabulary.
Speaker 3: We can use it. I think you're absolutely right. We
Speaker 3: don't have to be so black and white. We can
Speaker 3: find truth and honesty in the shades of gray. I
Speaker 3: always like to say, because that's where the love lives
Speaker 3: and the humanity.
Speaker 2: But I think it's.
Speaker 3: Also great to figure out how to do that, to
Speaker 3: even speak up for yourself in certain situations, whether you're
Speaker 3: in a pitch meeting, whether you're negotiating something for yourself,
Speaker 3: like emotionally or financially. You know, this has been my
Speaker 3: journey in my forties, is like figuring out how to
Speaker 3: get shit done. But you know, attracting them bees with
Speaker 3: the honey because like, wow, oh wow, it's so funny.
Speaker 3: Like even my life, skinned ass people are like she's difficult.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3: And so yeah, I do like to kill my kindness
Speaker 3: a little bit because I'm just like, this is what
Speaker 3: I want, you know, so give.
Speaker 1: It to me.
Speaker 4: Dan, Would you ever say that You're like, I don't
Speaker 4: think you're difficult to work with, you know, or.
Speaker 2: Perceive Oh boy, oh boy, this defense.
Speaker 5: No perceived to be difficult. I have worked with both
Speaker 5: of you independently. I know I don't feel like I'm difficult.
Speaker 1: Who's better, Yeah, yeah, answer with your eyes. I feel like.
Speaker 5: I don't feel like I'm difficult to work with, and
Speaker 5: I think that that's part of the reason people like
Speaker 5: to work with me. But I do feel like there
Speaker 5: is a there's such a finesse to holding in your
Speaker 5: rage when you're getting like, let's say, when you're getting
Speaker 5: notes that you don't like that I've learned from other
Speaker 5: like mentors that I think is like, again, that's kind
Speaker 5: of leading into this finesse of like a white lie.
Speaker 5: Like you know, if you're gonna be radically honest, you're
Speaker 5: gonna say something like that's bullshit, you're noticed stupid, you're
Speaker 5: a dumb dumb and then you're never.
Speaker 1: Gonna work again. Yeah, that part right.
Speaker 5: Not to make this too inside baseball, but you know,
Speaker 5: I think that does expand to life. It's like, it's
Speaker 5: so much more pleasurable to just go off the dome
Speaker 5: with your feelings, but you might leave like a scorched
Speaker 5: earth policy and then you can't kind of come back from.
Speaker 3: That, and then when you do it, it really means
Speaker 3: something because people know that you're fucking serious. I was
Speaker 3: just telling Jordan this before, because like when we were
Speaker 3: talking about adulting on Good Morning America, they're like, what
Speaker 3: have you guys learned from the podcast? And Jordan had
Speaker 3: a really great answer, which is like that I'm doing
Speaker 3: all right, that I'm doing pretty good. But what I
Speaker 3: really learned in that moment from comedy when she asked
Speaker 3: me that question was not necessarily the podcast, but from
Speaker 3: stand Up Stand Up. I learned how to be a
Speaker 3: fucking workhorse and to be on my voice and to
Speaker 3: take my fucking space. Like no one is going to
Speaker 3: give you that space and stand up, you have to
Speaker 3: fucking take it, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean.
Speaker 3: Like, the audience isn't gonna be like we got you
Speaker 3: go go. This isn't America's got talent. I'm not an
Speaker 3: eight year old. I can say, Whitney Houston. They're not
Speaker 3: gonna do that shit for me. Yeah, if anyone's listening
Speaker 3: and needs to hear this, it's like, take your space
Speaker 3: in the most thoughtful way possible.
Speaker 2: Right, what has stand up taught you.
Speaker 1: Dan, you know it's funny. I was thinking about it
Speaker 1: while you were saying that.
Speaker 5: I think that the humility that comes with stand up
Speaker 5: is really interesting to me, right right, because, like you said,
Speaker 5: you can be at the top of your game and
Speaker 5: if your jokes aren't funny, they're still not gonna land.
Speaker 5: I've seen, you know, Chris rock bomb bits. I've seen
Speaker 5: Seinfeld bomb with bits, and I will be in front
Speaker 5: of a very friendly crowd that knows me from stuff
Speaker 5: and I'll try something new and it doesn't work and
Speaker 5: they won't laugh at it. And I love that when
Speaker 5: else in your life, I feel like we have we
Speaker 5: The more you know clout you get, the more you're
Speaker 5: surrounded by yes men. But the crowd is never gonna
Speaker 5: be a yes man or a yes woman. It's just
Speaker 5: gonna it's always gonna kind of be honest, even with
Speaker 5: Dave Chappelle, even with Dave Chappelle. So it's like a
Speaker 5: pretty cool, humbling experience. And I think that's good. And
Speaker 5: I think a lot of actors don't get that because
Speaker 5: they they don't have like a crowd of strangers in
Speaker 5: real time telling them how they're doing.
Speaker 1: You know what, I mean, they're not on a tight rope. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and even.
Speaker 5: If they're acting on a on a movie, like, they're
Speaker 5: not in the theater necessarily, like they're not seeing the
Speaker 5: actual reaction to their performance, like in real time. And
Speaker 5: even with a band, like they have backup singers and
Speaker 5: dancers and all that stuff, Like, I don't know with us,
Speaker 5: there's an authenticity to being judged. Yeah, that is so
Speaker 5: raw and so real that I think is kind of
Speaker 5: a superpower that you can do that every night and
Speaker 5: put yourself in that position.
Speaker 3: Right, Oh, absolutely, Yeah, That's what I try to tell
Speaker 3: my comedian friends that go off and try to do
Speaker 3: other things and become self h multi hyphenates rather because
Speaker 3: I'm like, you have this superpower, this experience that nobody
Speaker 3: else has. Those hours on a stage that's insane. Whether
Speaker 3: they're funny or not, it's still like putting yourself in
Speaker 3: front of a bunch of people you don't know to
Speaker 3: do this thing is fucking crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is crazy. And I think the ten thousand
Speaker 5: hour thing that you think of for a comic. You're like, yeah,
Speaker 5: you need your ten thousand hours to become a better comedian,
Speaker 5: But there's also ten thousand hours of putting yourself in
Speaker 5: front of those crowds of strangers, which is a crazy
Speaker 5: thing that you're doing. That to me is more insane.
Speaker 5: It's just like, you know, it's like that fear of
Speaker 5: public speaking thing. It's like you're doing it every night
Speaker 5: and I don't know, it's an insane tenth thous hours
Speaker 5: to get of, just like I can go in front
Speaker 5: of a room full of strangers and figure out figure
Speaker 5: a way out of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, does it make it hard to talk to somebody
Speaker 3: one on one after performing for so many people because
Speaker 3: you're just like, what is this?
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 5: I think sometimes it makes it hard to I have
Speaker 5: a tough time talking to people who don't have not
Speaker 5: sensitive humor, but like are very like the dates that
Speaker 5: I go on where where people are like trying to
Speaker 5: say this in the right way overly.
Speaker 4: Woke, no, not even overly maybe maybe dull, a little
Speaker 4: dull maybe.
Speaker 5: Maybe overly sensitive to like bits m M, and they're
Speaker 5: like why would you say that?
Speaker 1: Or da da da.
Speaker 5: It's like, oh no, I'm just joking. And I don't
Speaker 5: know if sensive humor is the right word for it,
Speaker 5: but there's like are they.
Speaker 3: Dutch people, because Dutch people are like, why would you
Speaker 3: say it if it's not true.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's called sarcasm, bitch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Are you just dating Danish women?
Speaker 4: Loll well, Dan, your love language is sarcasm. So have
Speaker 4: you found a lot of snarky people? Like in Los Angeles?
Speaker 3: I thought his love lifeguage was food. That's so interesting
Speaker 3: how we get different Dans.
Speaker 4: He's multilingual, Like between us, Dan loves me despite the
Speaker 4: fact that I'll be He'll be like and this cream.
Speaker 1: Comes from a goots, a first milking.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, get that the fuck out of my face.
Speaker 4: And he's like, okay, all right, sorry to share my
Speaker 4: world with you.
Speaker 1: Like I love it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, tell me about this, this grape that these
Speaker 3: bitches in Italy had to climb up a volcano with
Speaker 3: their dupy as Italian titties to get.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 2: Now, I want to support women in Italy.
Speaker 1: Get great. I don't care. I'm like, come on, let's
Speaker 1: just enjoy it.
Speaker 2: Woh. I love it. I love a story.
Speaker 1: Thank you. First of all, Jordan.
Speaker 2: Jordan' stop holding your head like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah. First of all, Jordan is like a human garbage disposal.
Speaker 5: We will finish dinner, He'll walk out, there'll be like
Speaker 5: a half a pizza, like like balancing on the side
Speaker 5: of a garbage can, and he'll just pick it up
Speaker 5: on a plate, on a paper plate. I mean you know, yes,
Speaker 5: there is a level of class Jordan that you don't
Speaker 5: rise to.
Speaker 2: Jordan does love some cook food. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 3: When I was hosting the WGA Awards, I was like
Speaker 3: a little nervous.
Speaker 2: I was like, what is this?
Speaker 3: And I'm like looking around the room to see Jordan's
Speaker 3: face in my husband's face, and I look down and
Speaker 3: Jordan's just cutting up his baked chicken and I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, literally doing these jokes for the first
Speaker 3: time in front of people.
Speaker 2: And He's just like, h is that a dope?
Speaker 1: I was like. I was like, you got a girl.
Speaker 4: And then Amy Schumer was like, you probably want to
Speaker 4: go backstage and see how she's doing.
Speaker 1: And it's like, hold up this dinner row, but the
Speaker 1: chocolate lava cake.
Speaker 2: I know, You're like, but the bread is warm. And
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my.
Speaker 4: God, oh my god, that is my toxic trait. I
Speaker 4: do emotionally eat at moments like that, I just I'm like,
Speaker 4: this will make me comfortable, and so I just like
Speaker 4: start stuffing things into my mouth instead of talking to strangers.
Speaker 1: Jordan can be coming home, seeing his home on fire,
Speaker 1: hearing the yells of help me from his relatives, and
Speaker 1: if there's a food truck parked outside of that house, yo,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Elena, figure out a plan. B.
Speaker 3: I can't believe I'm asking this, but only because I'm
Speaker 3: with friends that are like family.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, what is my toxic trait?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh toxic trade. I'm gonna tell you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know what it is. I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 4: I know what it is, too, tell me, tell me,
Speaker 4: tell me, Daniel, First.
Speaker 5: Okay, I feel like you're not selective enough with the
Speaker 5: people that you allow.
Speaker 1: Close to you.
Speaker 5: Healthy boundaries. You're right, there's some people that shouldn't have access. Yeah,
Speaker 5: they shouldn't have access, they should be cut out. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and I think that's probably your thing.
Speaker 3: It is my thing, and that it happens, but I
Speaker 3: don't want it to be my thing anymore. No, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 3: but it is very wild because when I'm on stage
Speaker 3: now and I do crowd work, I don't know what happens,
Speaker 3: but I can see people's inner child, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I gotta go. I don't know, like if I'm becoming
Speaker 3: a witch or being a mom or whatever it is,
Speaker 3: but I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, why can't it be both?
Speaker 2: Motherfucker? All right, Jordan, you go.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's see your toxic trade. After thinking long and
Speaker 4: hard about this, is that if somebody asks you if
Speaker 4: you need help, just say yes, because what it's giving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, most of the time, it's just like it's fine,
Speaker 1: I got it.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm like, nah, Michelle, you want is
Speaker 4: to help you as you're like slanming stuff around.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I know, I do want people to help me,
Speaker 3: but I also want people just to take just like
Speaker 3: take the ring, you know what I mean, Because when
Speaker 3: people help me, they have more questions and answers. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 3: it could have been done. I don't need a conversation
Speaker 3: about it. I just need you to do it. And so, like,
Speaker 3: hosting definitely is a lot of work, but I'd love
Speaker 3: to do it. When I'm in the post get and
Speaker 3: everything set up and done, yeah, but it's always like
Speaker 3: that hour before where I'm like this sucks?
Speaker 2: Why am I doing this?
Speaker 4: And then yeah, you've got next level executive function skills,
Speaker 4: which are like that is executive you know, executive function? Right,
Speaker 4: that's just like you know how much milk is in
Speaker 4: the house at all times, you know how much orange
Speaker 4: juice you have, how much gases in the tank?
Speaker 1: What we need? How to get from point A to
Speaker 1: point B?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like I have good executive function, but you
Speaker 4: have like x men level. So it's just like I
Speaker 4: need to be told a little bit more yes than
Speaker 4: say you do you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Can I also counter it with a with a compliment
Speaker 5: because you're talking about hosting. Yeah, you are very good
Speaker 5: at being present at your parties and not being frantic whatsoever,
Speaker 5: you know, which you go to a lot of people's
Speaker 5: parties and they're just like Tasmanian devils and you're like,
Speaker 5: why am I even here? You are very good at
Speaker 5: actually being the centerpiece of the party, even though there's
Speaker 5: always chaos going on in the background. Yeah, that's the
Speaker 5: quality of yours that I'm very very very impressed by.
Speaker 1: Jordan. Why are you making that face? Are you talking
Speaker 1: shit about me? Is that what you're doing right now?
Speaker 4: Ooh?
Speaker 2: Does it feel like it hit a nerve.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Wow, I feel like you're talking shit about me. No,
Speaker 5: I was giving Michelle a compliment. Why can't I give
Speaker 5: her a compliment?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: This is so us so us.
Speaker 5: Wow, you're like that kid, you know how, Like, oh boy,
Speaker 5: it's your birthday and you're a kid, and your parents
Speaker 5: get you a present, but they have to get your
Speaker 5: brother a present too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need a present too.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we.
Speaker 3: Got questions from the audience about adulting, and we'd like
Speaker 3: to try and help them out and answer them. Jordan,
Speaker 3: I think you got the first question. What it be?
Speaker 1: Here? It is? It goes?
Speaker 4: How can I tell a friend they need to be
Speaker 4: in therapy without seeming like I'm being pedantic or blaming
Speaker 4: dysfunction slash failure in our friendship on them? Oh god, Dan,
Speaker 4: how would you handle it?
Speaker 5: I call saying you need to go to therapy as
Speaker 5: like step two or three, but step one would be
Speaker 5: something along the lines of in a nice way, like
Speaker 5: I'm tired of hearing of this problem over and over
Speaker 5: and it not being resolved, Like I think there's probably
Speaker 5: another solution than just venting to me, saying that in
Speaker 5: a nicer way, right, making it about like, hey, I
Speaker 5: want to be here as your friend, but I can't
Speaker 5: just be someone that you just throw stuff at and
Speaker 5: don't really get anything back from.
Speaker 1: You're just you're just kind of being either an askhole.
Speaker 5: Which is one of my favorite expressions when someone asks
Speaker 5: you for advice and never takes it.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So there's ways of saying like this isn't working. Your
Speaker 5: crutch for therapy, which is using me, is not working.
Speaker 5: So maybe let's come up with the different solution. And
Speaker 5: here's a couple of providers in your area.
Speaker 3: Yeah, ooh, you know what I would do? I mean,
Speaker 3: I love that that really is the road to take.
Speaker 3: I would send two therapists that like either you have
Speaker 3: been to or like or just think it would be
Speaker 3: a good fit. And then also like something sort of
Speaker 3: like spiritual homeopath or something, and be like, well what
Speaker 3: about also this acupuncture? So it's more like a wellness pitch,
Speaker 3: right as opposed to bitch get your shit together. But
Speaker 3: you know, because for me, like I'll try cupping or
Speaker 3: acupuncture or you know, a foot massage at a Russian place.
Speaker 3: I'll try anything if it is relaxing, you know, And
Speaker 3: I like to say that, you know, self care is
Speaker 3: not selfish, so go and get it.
Speaker 2: Even we were talking about the soothe app this morning.
Speaker 4: Yes, because someone we know went through it and we're like, hey,
Speaker 4: soue app.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like, Yes, someone we know this morning got their phone
Speaker 3: stolen from them as they were coming out of a taxi. Wow,
Speaker 3: that is happening, y'all hold on to your phones. What
Speaker 3: were you going to say, Jordan?
Speaker 4: I was only going to say that I often when
Speaker 4: when I have a long conversation that I think it
Speaker 4: could use professional advice. I just asked, like, are you
Speaker 4: talking to someone about this?
Speaker 1: You know? Like that's basically me And that seems to
Speaker 1: really work, is it? It works?
Speaker 4: It works because it makes you do an inventory when
Speaker 4: you ask that question. Yeah, people are like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: if your married friends are talking to you, if they're
Speaker 4: in a relationship, they've got issues, and you're like, are
Speaker 4: y'all talking to someone about this? It's a moment of
Speaker 4: honesty for me at least, where you're like, I see you, friend,
Speaker 4: and I want the best for you.
Speaker 1: Right. You know, it's funny.
Speaker 5: I've actually done that before and I've heard back, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm talking to you.
Speaker 3: I was just thinking that in my mind, like that's
Speaker 3: what I would have said, like, yeah, you.
Speaker 5: But also I will say there is a place for
Speaker 5: friends and family, Like I don't think all issues should
Speaker 5: be outsourced to a therapist. I do think there is
Speaker 5: a place for friends and family. I really do, because
Speaker 5: they do know you the best as is, and if
Speaker 5: you're willing to actually listen to their advice, I think
Speaker 5: that's a really powerful source of, you know, helping get
Speaker 5: you back on your track. It's just like Michelle kind
Speaker 5: of just asked us, like, what is my toxic trade?
Speaker 5: Like that was like two therapist sessions there that we
Speaker 5: just I truncated into, you know, sixty seconds. Yeah, because
Speaker 5: she trusts us and she believes our judgment and she
Speaker 5: trusts that we know her really well and that we
Speaker 5: would give her like a somewhat objective opinion.
Speaker 2: I would not do that with most people.
Speaker 1: Right, you know what I mean? You shouldn't. You shouldn't.
Speaker 3: But I know and love and trust you guys. Come on, Oh,
Speaker 3: if I had brothers, I would not want them to
Speaker 3: be like you. You would be my friends.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, what does that mean? Wow. Wow, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we do get it all out. We
Speaker 1: can't be protective.
Speaker 3: No, I would have to defend you guys. I'd do
Speaker 3: too much. Well, look at my sturdy git compared to
Speaker 3: you guys. This is interesting, but I think it's a
Speaker 3: really important question. Okay, how many cups of coffee a day?
Speaker 3: It's too many cups of coffee. This is a really
Speaker 3: listen to me. This is a really good question because
Speaker 3: if I'm working, like on set, like an eleven and
Speaker 3: fourteen hour day, it's just the cappuccino every three hours,
Speaker 3: and then I realize I haven't eaten, and all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, I have a headache and I'm like, why
Speaker 3: is my left titty jumping? Oh, it's my heart got you.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like, am I having a panic attack? No,
Speaker 3: it's it's the coffee. How many cups is too many cups?
Speaker 3: Also depends if you're drinking good coffee.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have strong opinions on this.
Speaker 2: Let's go.
Speaker 5: And it's funny because before we started, I was just
Speaker 5: thinking in my head, like, what are some signs of
Speaker 5: adulting just in general that I could have, you know,
Speaker 5: at top of my head, And one.
Speaker 1: Is that didn't come out right, But you guys know
Speaker 1: what I mean.
Speaker 5: I feel like a sign of adulting is when you
Speaker 5: transition your love for alcohol to your love for coffee.
Speaker 1: Like, and don't get it twisted. I love alcohol.
Speaker 2: We're not getting twisted because you get twisted.
Speaker 1: Yes, I do. I absolutely love alcohol.
Speaker 5: I'm doing sober October, which is the equivalent of someone's
Speaker 5: sedentary climbing Mount Everest. That's how much I love wine. Okay,
Speaker 5: And what the fuck I'm saying? I love wine so much.
Speaker 5: But if I had to choose between wine or coffee,
Speaker 5: like and I had to give one up forever, I
Speaker 5: would definitely choose coffee. M It's such an important thing,
Speaker 5: it's such an exciting thing. How much is too much?
Speaker 5: That's such a personal question for me. I have my dosage.
Speaker 5: My dosage in the morning. I have a cappuccino. In
Speaker 5: the afternoon. After lunch, I have an espresso.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Whatever makes you able to go to sleep, right, you're good. Yeah,
Speaker 5: whatever doesn't fret your stomach.
Speaker 3: You know what I don't need. I don't need desserts
Speaker 3: with coffee in it. I don't need that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2: I don't need that.
Speaker 3: I don't need like a chocolate espresso crumble. I need
Speaker 3: like like another cocktail.
Speaker 5: Oh I get you. Oh you're saying the uh yeah.
Speaker 5: The espresso martini has taken over the world.
Speaker 3: It's the classy Red Bull vodka. It's great if it's
Speaker 3: made well, it's delicious. But I don't know how people
Speaker 3: just drink them all fucking night without poo poo in
Speaker 3: their pants, like do a bump of coke?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It's like less calories, Like I don't understand.
Speaker 5: I read something on Instagram that was like an espresso
Speaker 5: martiniz a Red Bull and vodka that studied abroad and
Speaker 5: doesn't stop talking about it.
Speaker 2: Whoever understand?
Speaker 3: Oh good, he went from the white like a white
Speaker 3: party in Poland to like a Soho house in Paris.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's too much. Sorry. I was trying to
Speaker 2: give it like a journey.
Speaker 3: But I think you need like one good cup if
Speaker 3: you're into coffee, and then anything else besides that will
Speaker 3: probably be too much.
Speaker 4: Dan, have you ever just ordered straight drip coffee at
Speaker 4: a place or would that like break you emotionally?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I often do why wouldn't.
Speaker 4: I, because you're just like I get an espresso and
Speaker 4: then I get a cappuccino and then get a cortado.
Speaker 4: Are you the kind of person that if they work
Speaker 4: behind the counter of coffee shop and somebody is like
Speaker 4: an just get a coffee, they'd be.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, they don't soup coffee, so and then like
Speaker 1: and then they would get an argument with oh my god,
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 2: First of all, just dance sound like that in your.
Speaker 5: Head, thank you, And also, you know what's messed up?
Speaker 5: He totally baited me. I thought he was just asking
Speaker 5: like a normal question, but he was. He was setting
Speaker 5: up the question to make fun of me. I know,
Speaker 5: for saying that I have.
Speaker 2: What love is. That's what love is.
Speaker 3: There's nothing more frustrating than needing a good ass cup
Speaker 3: of coffee and then getting brown water. It makes me,
Speaker 3: It really just it sends me. It sends me like
Speaker 3: I will probably drink like like a kiante from the
Speaker 3: airplane and get through it with like an ice cube
Speaker 3: before I can do brown water.
Speaker 5: You understand, I'm with you. I also feel like what
Speaker 5: you order is dependent on the place. If I walk
Speaker 5: in there and they have a subpar espresso machine. I'm
Speaker 5: not going to get an espresso drink. I'm going to
Speaker 5: get a drip coffee. You can tell by the machine
Speaker 5: if it's a La Marzoka, if it's a Sinetso you
Speaker 5: can tell these things.
Speaker 1: Yes, and you need to do the research and do the.
Speaker 5: Work, Jordan, so that you can walk into a coffee
Speaker 5: shop and know if you should get dripped or an
Speaker 5: espresso drink.
Speaker 2: Are you still caffeine free? Jordan?
Speaker 1: I am still caffeine free. Oh I hate you so much?
Speaker 2: Whoa how are we still friends?
Speaker 1: I do have a dirty chy every once in a while.
Speaker 1: I don't get it so dirty.
Speaker 3: Why do you say it like that? Can you just
Speaker 3: not do your eyes? When you say dirty chie? It
Speaker 3: is giving a christless killer. Stop when you say dirty chy,
Speaker 3: it reminds me of this girl I went to school,
Speaker 3: was in college, and her drink was a screaming orgasm
Speaker 3: and every time she ordered it it was like something
Speaker 3: new and screaming.
Speaker 2: Or I'm like.
Speaker 3: Nobody, nobody wants to hit like that, nobody knows what's
Speaker 3: in it. No one's screaming. You're probably not even having
Speaker 3: an orgasm. Yes, this is why you have no teeth
Speaker 3: you're like kind of diabetic.
Speaker 2: It's all bairey like stop, look.
Speaker 4: Look, okay, I don't get a lot of like fun
Speaker 4: things to say, you know that. Oh and so like
Speaker 4: when I go up to the you know, I got
Speaker 4: up to the front of the line, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm sorry, please, you know.
Speaker 5: And then and then they're like, what is a dirty chai?
Speaker 5: I don't even know what that is. It sounds like,
Speaker 5: oh no, it's oh that's why we can't have nice things.
Speaker 5: The Southeastern Asian community should be up in arms that
Speaker 5: this is even a thing, the dirty.
Speaker 3: I want to get Harry Kunda Buloo on the phone
Speaker 3: right away. A dirty chai, right is a chai latte
Speaker 3: with a shot of espresso. Now, a filthy chai is
Speaker 3: two shots?
Speaker 1: Wow? How do I not know this?
Speaker 2: Because you drink regular coffee, because you're a real man.
Speaker 1: Thank you for saying.
Speaker 3: You're welcome. We have another question. I can't believe we
Speaker 3: have time for it. Who knew coffee so long?
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm going to ask you because I love you.
Speaker 4: Oh boy, this questions for all of us here. Oh God, yes,
Speaker 4: just ask the.
Speaker 1: Question, Jesus. I feel I feel ready and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do it. Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I'm a fifty year old mother of two teenagers. I
Speaker 4: recently started dating a younger man thirty five years old. Parenthetical.
Speaker 4: We've been dating for a few months now and we
Speaker 4: get along well. The sex is amazing for both of us.
Speaker 4: I'm worried that one day he will realize that he
Speaker 4: wants a family of his own and leave me for
Speaker 4: a younger woman who can give him children. Oh Am,
Speaker 4: I just being paranoid? Is it too soon to be
Speaker 4: thinking about a future with this man?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm finding it hard to stay in the present. Please help.
Speaker 1: How long has she been with him? Did she say?
Speaker 1: She says for a few months, and it's going well.
Speaker 1: She needs to bring it up. She needs to bring
Speaker 1: it up. Listen.
Speaker 5: I have this gaggle of little cousins who will come
Speaker 5: to me for advice, and they're great girls, and they're
Speaker 5: always like, I don't know what this guy wants, and
Speaker 5: I'm like, just fucking ask him, like shit or get off.
Speaker 5: The pot is a very powerful thing that not enough
Speaker 5: people use, and I think that it's super necessary to
Speaker 5: be very direct and if that scares the person, then
Speaker 5: that then you.
Speaker 1: Got your fucking answer. Yeah, don't avoid is the key.
Speaker 5: Do not avoid asking that question because you might also
Speaker 5: get an answer like, oh no, I don't want kids.
Speaker 1: I love that you have kids and I don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about kids.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she seems to have a tiger by the tail
Speaker 4: or something else.
Speaker 2: Okay, Texas, what does that mean?
Speaker 4: A tiger by the tail just means like you got
Speaker 4: something like really rare and cool. We don't hear about
Speaker 4: this every day. Fifty year old women aren't out here
Speaker 4: bagging thirty five year old men all the time, you
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying, right, So the newness of that,
Speaker 4: that experience, that, that feeling of being beautiful, sexy, all
Speaker 4: that as we get past forty. Yeah, if I could
Speaker 4: just man's plain women's value, then that.
Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 5: Okay, I'm aware I'm staying out of this little monologue here,
Speaker 5: but I'm actually good at it. Dan, Okay, all right,
Speaker 5: keep going. He's in the pocket.
Speaker 4: In the pocket, all right, listen to my ted talk.
Speaker 4: So anyway, I hear that in this question, and I
Speaker 4: would say leave space for there to be an answer
Speaker 4: that maybe you don't like, but also maybe a good
Speaker 4: one too, you know, like it could also work out.
Speaker 3: I love that two men just answered this question because
Speaker 3: what I'm also hearing, Lady Lover is how would a
Speaker 3: man react? Right, And it's sort of what Dan said.
Speaker 3: Chances are he's probably cool with it because he probably
Speaker 3: would have brought it up already if he was thinking
Speaker 3: about a family. But if you guys are having good
Speaker 3: sex and respect each other, that's the most important, you know,
Speaker 3: bring it up right away. You know, I just asked Dan,
Speaker 3: what do you even talk about on a first date?
Speaker 3: Or are you bringing that shit up? So if you
Speaker 3: guys are already like in your little pocket of good
Speaker 3: sex and vibing with each other, yeah, that's a good
Speaker 3: time to bring it up. Just do it right now. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so you know, sooner rather than later. Also, good for
Speaker 3: you for sitting and spending on a dick on your fifties, bitch,
Speaker 3: I know that's right.
Speaker 1: Would you say that if it was a fifty year
Speaker 1: old man with a thirty five year old.
Speaker 5: Woman, Oh, would you say that?
Speaker 3: But it's different because she could still have kids, she's
Speaker 3: still viable by society. So I think they're in it
Speaker 3: for different reasons, and he would probably think of different things.
Speaker 3: But he's got all the options bird InHand for.
Speaker 2: That, dude.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm hm true. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So we ask all our guests and this has been
Speaker 3: like a wildly wonderful and awkward episode.
Speaker 1: That's us.
Speaker 3: We asked all our guests, what's the most important adulting
Speaker 3: thing you want to do for yourself this year that
Speaker 3: you haven't had time to do? And it could be
Speaker 3: big or small, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Can I take a guess at what it is?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: Whoa, Oh my god, it's eating at the number one
Speaker 4: restaurant on Mars.
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow.
Speaker 2: And then he like laughs at it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what an asshole. I was going to say, start
Speaker 1: a family, But thank you Jordan for fucking shitting on
Speaker 1: me before. You're the only guest I've ever done that too.
Speaker 1: Uh why?
Speaker 4: Because I love you? When I trust you, I want
Speaker 4: to know the answer to the question. I just I
Speaker 4: just like busting your beans because I'm good to see
Speaker 4: you and I love.
Speaker 2: You busting your beans.
Speaker 1: Busting my beans. Okay, I feel like I need to.
Speaker 5: Probably get a cleaning lady on a schedule rather than
Speaker 5: just letting my place get really dirty and then calling
Speaker 5: the cleaning lady.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Every Tuesday at eleven am so you have time to
Speaker 3: wake up and do your thing, and then you have
Speaker 3: the full weekend and the full week Get a Tuesday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Tuesday is the day. I'm so glad you brought
Speaker 2: this up.
Speaker 5: Not me, because I let my place go to shit
Speaker 5: and then when I text her she gets you could
Speaker 5: sense the fear of like what am I coming into?
Speaker 1: So that's definitely one.
Speaker 5: Also getting regular car washers, I guess cleanliness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's ritual schedules, organization like that is something that
Speaker 3: needs to happen, especially in your forties, because it's one
Speaker 3: less thing to worry about, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh my god, my Carney's gas again. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it always has gas. I need to Yeah, you always
Speaker 3: need toilet paper. Yeah, And to put that shit on
Speaker 3: the schedule. Yes, just is like it just freezes up
Speaker 3: your time to do something else.
Speaker 5: Yes, like like taking the inventory of my wine cellar.
Speaker 2: Dan Kate a d We love you so much and hope.
Speaker 1: To see you, Sue, I love you, see you. Thanks guys, bike.
Speaker 4: Man oh Man alive. Yeah, I can't even I can't
Speaker 4: even stand up. I'm gonna sit back down. It's always
Speaker 4: just a whirlwin with him.
Speaker 2: It really is.
Speaker 1: It's a typhoon.
Speaker 2: Yes, but I love that.
Speaker 3: And can I say I did not expect to go
Speaker 3: into this episode saying what are my toxic traits to
Speaker 3: do very.
Speaker 2: Old, near and dear friends? But I did. I did,
Speaker 2: and that was like, Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think that's okay, And I think that friends should
Speaker 4: normalize those kind of conversations because you can withstand it.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, I mean I am guilty of.
Speaker 4: What you guys said. Oh my god, I can't stop
Speaker 4: doing what I'm doing. I'm gonna work on it. I'm
Speaker 4: gonna work on it. I'm aware, you know, what do
Speaker 4: you mean? I'm a work on myself. I'm constantly working
Speaker 4: on myself. I also try to give myself credit. But
Speaker 4: Dan brings out He's like this little brother who brings
Speaker 4: out this side of me where I just turn into,
Speaker 4: I know, a nasty, little little elf bitch.
Speaker 3: That is that is true love in a way that
Speaker 3: one can only hope serves you. Because I am the
Speaker 3: only child, as I constantly bring up, and going back
Speaker 3: to Holland with my husband has always been interesting because
Speaker 3: everyone sort of like slips right back into their roles.
Speaker 3: And so when you've been friends with people for so
Speaker 3: long like that you're like, oh okay, this is like yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean I get it.
Speaker 1: Always regress, always regress, ready, ready, Yeah, And I'll fight
Speaker 1: him again. I'll fight him again.
Speaker 4: We tussled in a pile of garbage, and I'll never
Speaker 4: forget it.
Speaker 2: I do love we don't know. I really love our community.
Speaker 3: I love working with people I've known for a long
Speaker 3: time and know are funny and decent coworkers and also
Speaker 3: have a decent moral compass.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I only say he has a decent moral compass
Speaker 3: because we never actually got to the pedicure story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, who knows. Who knows?
Speaker 4: Maybe like dropping in the chat if you know what
Speaker 4: happened in the pedicure story, if you were like his esthetician,
Speaker 4: like let us know.
Speaker 1: We don't know, We have no idea.
Speaker 3: Also, I would love to know other people's stories that
Speaker 3: listen to the podcast of that friend they've had for
Speaker 3: twenty years that turns them into like the little brother
Speaker 3: nobody wanted, or like the older brother that always knows better,
Speaker 3: or you know what I mean, just that friend that
Speaker 3: likes you can't believe they still do it to you.
Speaker 2: But it's fun. It's wild. It's weird.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, the ones that just like activate that part of
Speaker 4: your brain, Yes, and your personality. Yes, Dana, dude will
Speaker 4: always do that to me. My wife is like you
Speaker 4: and Dan, oh my god, And I'm like I don't care,
Speaker 4: like yeah, that's just how I am around him, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's sort of like if you ever watch any sitcom
Speaker 3: with a married couple and then there's like the neighbor
Speaker 3: friend guy that's like single that comes over, it's like.
Speaker 2: Loosew wash TV.
Speaker 3: Well, honey, you promise to take the kids pull he's
Speaker 3: over it. Like that turns into like much that's very fun.
Speaker 4: Yes, yo, what you got there? Look at that Oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, Survival of the Thickest. Yes, the show that
Speaker 4: you wrote that you can talk about even though you
Speaker 4: say you can't.
Speaker 1: What in the schwag bag is going on?
Speaker 4: Now? I love that little umbrella and I love your show.
Speaker 2: I love my show toit.
Speaker 1: Look at all this okay, little pillow, little throw pillow?
Speaker 1: What else You've got in.
Speaker 2: There so much? I don't know where to put it.
Speaker 1: Put it into this show. Put it into this show. Listen.
Speaker 4: That's it for all of us. I gotta go pick
Speaker 4: up my kids. I love you, Michelle, you.
Speaker 3: The best bet too.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go think of your toxic trait and let
Speaker 3: you know Bye bye.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm just kidding. This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2: Our senior producer is g Howley.
Speaker 1: Art Associate producer is Christina Chamberlain.
Speaker 3: This episode was mixed by John Bradley.
Speaker 1: Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 3: Additional production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton.
Speaker 1: Theme song and live show DJing is by DJ Don will.
Speaker 3: Our live show producer is Marian Ways.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.
Speaker 2: Photography by Heis Vandermost.
Speaker 4: Executive produced by Karen Kilgera, Georgia Hartstar and Daniel Kramer.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pod.
Speaker 4: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.
Speaker 5: Mmm