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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast

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Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

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Speaker 2: Welcome into Unbreakable Mental Wealth Podcast with Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 3: I'm Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 2: Really excited for my guest today because the first time

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Speaker 2: I've had a guest like this.

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Speaker 3: On my show.

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Speaker 2: And what I mean by this, it's the first time

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Speaker 2: I've had an NFL team's mental performance coach. So good

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Speaker 2: friend of mine, Andy Rees joins also Andi is a

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Speaker 2: former US Army lieutenant colonel.

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Speaker 3: Obviously he's retired now it's an author.

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Speaker 2: He's a keynote speaker in leadership in psychology, but he

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Speaker 2: had a combat vet with over twenty years of military service,

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Speaker 2: including in the Elite Special Forces Unit. He has pioneered

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Speaker 2: human performance programs like the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness and look

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Speaker 2: holds several degrees from I think Stanford Wharton.

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Speaker 3: Am I right on that way, smart? That is the point.

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Speaker 2: I went to Pace College downtown Manatta, I think its

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Speaker 2: Pace you in versuony now, So, look, you've done a

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Speaker 2: lot of amazing things. I really appreciate you joining me

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Speaker 2: because it's one of the things you know that you

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Speaker 2: and I met on the Bear sideline and we talked

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Speaker 2: about this. I am trying hard to get the NFL

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Speaker 2: to come up to the times, if you will. Like man,

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Speaker 2: there's fifteen strength coaches and physical trainers, and you know

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Speaker 2: medical trainers and doctors this, and there are twenty and

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Speaker 2: you got one therapist that's required to only be on

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Speaker 2: site three days a week according to the CBA. Doesn't

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Speaker 2: make any sense when everything starts with those six inches

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Speaker 2: between your ears. But a lot of teams don't have

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Speaker 2: a somebody like you who's a mental performance coach on

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Speaker 2: top of that.

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Speaker 3: So I want to dive in to what you do.

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Speaker 2: But before that, how do you think we get the

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Speaker 2: league and the teams to kind of come Look, I

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Speaker 2: always tell guys mental health is so reactive. You guys,

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Speaker 2: don't just touch passes when you have the drops right

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Speaker 2: the forties when you think you're getting slow, you do

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Speaker 2: it all the time constantly. But well, why aren't we

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Speaker 2: working with a mental performance coach of going to therapist.

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Speaker 2: You're only doing that the sky's falling and then it's late.

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Speaker 2: We have We've got to get a lot more proactive

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Speaker 2: about it. Any How, we'reactive about it with the leak.

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Speaker 4: It's a great question, Jane, and an honor to be here,

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Speaker 4: and thank you for being on this mission with me.

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Speaker 4: I mean you, you and I are both passionate about

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Speaker 4: teaching people the art and science of kicking ass between

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Speaker 4: the ears and uh, and that's really what this is

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Speaker 4: all about.

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Speaker 5: And I think, how do how do we get mental.

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Speaker 4: Training in the hands of more people earlier in their

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Speaker 4: careers and lifespan? Right, And that's a great question, you know,

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Speaker 4: just looking at elite sports for example. I mean, this

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Speaker 4: has been around forever since the beginning of man kind arguably, right,

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Speaker 4: and stoicism and philosophy is you know, uh, really kind

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Speaker 4: of those are the stokes really the ogs and mental

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Speaker 4: toughness when you think about it.

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Speaker 5: Which is part of what I teach. Yeah, like Marcus Aurelius, uh,

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Speaker 5: for example, who was a you know, warriors scholar.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 4: These people have been around for a long time, and

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Speaker 4: my field has been around for about one hundred years.

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Speaker 4: But it's really only become it's not even mainstream yet,

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Speaker 4: we don't, you know. So you're wonder like, why do

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Speaker 4: these elite populations not have more people like me?

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Speaker 5: And I think it's for a couple of reasons.

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Speaker 4: I think one is because the medical model is really dominant,

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Speaker 4: and of course everything starts with mental health, as you

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Speaker 4: know full well, and I think it's really the premise

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Speaker 4: behind this show and your journey, my journey as well too,

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Speaker 4: you know. But it's really based on you know, identifying

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Speaker 4: and treating psychopathology to anxiety depression, so you know, it's

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Speaker 4: really about solving problems, right. But that's only two thirds

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Speaker 4: of the bridge that I look at, you know, So

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Speaker 4: if that's one side of the bridge. In the middle

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Speaker 4: of the bridge is like we're trying to help teach

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Speaker 4: people about resilience, about bouncing back from adversity, about being gritty,

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Speaker 4: and you know, that's preventing people from sliding into that psychopathology, right,

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Speaker 4: that mental illness and injury.

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Speaker 5: But then there's this whole other band of the right,

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Speaker 5: the other side of the bridge that we're.

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Speaker 4: All pushing towards, we all should be pushing towards, which

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Speaker 4: is mental performance, and that's executing tasks at the upper.

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Speaker 5: Range of your potential.

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Speaker 4: And I think it's human nature, you know, because you know,

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Speaker 4: the medical side has really been dominant, especially in Western

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Speaker 4: culture where we have resources available and the predominant amount

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Speaker 4: of resources are really focused in the left hand side

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Speaker 4: of the bridge. And although it's really important, there's not

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Speaker 4: enough providers. We're not providing education and training to help

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Speaker 4: people move to the right. So if life and challenge change,

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Speaker 4: university is going to push you left of that bridge,

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Speaker 4: we got to fight to the right. The problem is

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Speaker 4: is that we don't have the tools, the people, the

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Speaker 4: resources to do that. And I think traditionally, you know,

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Speaker 4: baseball when you look at the major sports answer your question.

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Speaker 4: You know, so baseball around fifteen years ago mandated to

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Speaker 4: have both clinicians and mental performance coaches. So what I

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Speaker 4: do is, I'm a non clinical psychology practitioner, right, so

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Speaker 4: I have confidentiality, but I'm not state licensed, right so

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Speaker 4: I don't do counseling or therapy. You know that you

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Speaker 4: traditionally think of you come in, you sit on a

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Speaker 4: leather couch and talk about your problems.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 4: I am more like a strength coach for the brain,

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Speaker 4: right to where my job is to help athletes perform

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Speaker 4: better and when they incur, you know, challenge on and

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Speaker 4: off the field to be able to bounce back and

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Speaker 4: grow because of that.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: But the really The model that works that we're using

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Speaker 4: in Chicago is having both. Now there's some people that

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Speaker 4: can do both, but ideally you want two people who

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Speaker 4: can span that entire spectrum of the bridge. And I

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Speaker 4: think our leadership has done a really great job of

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Speaker 4: borrowing from baseball. They have both clinicians and mental performance

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Speaker 4: coaches to be able to get people across the bridge.

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Speaker 4: And I think just to look at the physical side

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Speaker 4: is you know, they're very similar. I mean, can you imagine,

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Speaker 4: you know, not having a team doctor, not having an

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Speaker 4: athletic trainer, and not having a strength.

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Speaker 5: Coach on a football team. You can never imagine it.

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Speaker 4: So why the hell do we just have one person

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Speaker 4: temporarily when the mental game is everything in football and

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Speaker 4: then everything in life, and so we're trying to shit

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Speaker 4: that paradigm.

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Speaker 2: I think one of the issues also, look so I

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Speaker 2: obviously come from football reporting world, but from a flying world, right.

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Speaker 2: I was one of the first guys in the NFL

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Speaker 2: ever to fight professionally in mixed martial arts, all.

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Speaker 3: The way back in two thousand and three.

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Speaker 2: Then I started to an MMA training program and started

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Speaker 2: training fighters and football players. I've trained a hundreds and

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Speaker 2: hundreds and my whole mindset of this unbreakable you know,

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Speaker 2: or a breakable mindset. If you're hurt and tired, you

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Speaker 2: will never ever ever know. Our guys cannot take a

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Speaker 2: stoolok between rounds. They got to pace back and forth,

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Speaker 2: and paste back and forth, and pace back and forth

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Speaker 2: and look and see where that person's starting to break.

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Speaker 2: We're not showing it. We're not showing it. And that

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Speaker 2: is necessary in football fighting. But that's what's holding us back. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: were outside that cage.

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Speaker 3: That same thing. I think that's.

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Speaker 2: Why we are so behind, is like we'll show it,

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Speaker 2: we don't show it.

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Speaker 3: You're weak if you show it.

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Speaker 2: And now I say, no, no, no, you got to

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Speaker 2: lean into your teammates, y no, and you got a man.

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Speaker 2: You're struggling, think of what this is going to do

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Speaker 2: for you as a team, thinking how much better it's

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Speaker 2: going to make you as a team. But I think

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Speaker 2: that's one of the things of that mindset that man

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Speaker 2: is warriors and gladiators. Yes, it's back now from being

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Speaker 2: even better warriors than gladiators.

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Speaker 4: You're right, yeah, And you made a great point earlier, Jay,

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Speaker 4: to your point is that the mindset at the individual level,

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Speaker 4: the end user level, So the players and the coaches,

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Speaker 4: it's like, hey, it's like human beings. We don't have

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Speaker 4: a dashboard like a car to where we have this

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Speaker 4: check engine light. We can develop that check engine light

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Speaker 4: through awareness, but just true, like we don't have that

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Speaker 4: check engine light. And what happens when the check engine

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Speaker 4: light has when we're driving our car, you know, it's like, hey,

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Speaker 4: we blow past it until something bad happens. We don't

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Speaker 4: see a mechanic until there's a problem, right, And so

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Speaker 4: we don't have the tools and resources to do our

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Speaker 4: own preventive maintenance, right, And we don't really fix our

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Speaker 4: own cars anymore like we used to back.

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Speaker 5: In the day.

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Speaker 4: Right, But we also don't understand the resources and what

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Speaker 4: they're for. So you don't just go to the mechanic

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Speaker 4: when your car is broken. You do preventive maintenance, and

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Speaker 4: you can sooop up your car engine. And I'm dealing

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Speaker 4: with Lamborghinis and you know, I'm dealing with high powered

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Speaker 4: Nascars or F one, whatever you want to do it.

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Speaker 4: And I think that that you know, traditionally, especially a

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Speaker 4: lot of our veteran players, you know, they think, okay, well,

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Speaker 4: well got me, here's what's going to keep me here?

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Speaker 4: And if I didn't need a guy like Andy before,

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Speaker 4: then why would I go to him now?

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Speaker 5: Right? If it's not broke, don't fix it.

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Speaker 4: But the reality is, the longer you do it in anything,

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Speaker 4: the pro football, pick, any profession that's difficult, the longer

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Speaker 4: you do it, the more the mental game becomes your

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Speaker 4: decisive edge.

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Speaker 5: And I think people at.

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Speaker 4: The paradigm is starting to shift a little bit, you know,

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Speaker 4: because this generation jays. You know, even though we can

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Speaker 4: say they have all the lack of coping skills, I

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Speaker 4: think the research supports that. But this generation, more than ever,

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Speaker 4: is more open to mental training than any other generation

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Speaker 4: before that.

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Speaker 5: And I'm really excited to be working with those people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think.

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Speaker 2: Also, you know, we talk about how necessary it is

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Speaker 2: again in the fight world.

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Speaker 3: Look girl fucking crazy taking those three steps out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but the amount of nerves you deal with, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't like it right, one thing of a bar

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Speaker 2: fight breaks out.

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Speaker 3: But if I tell you him him in three months

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Speaker 3: from now, you're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna be a national TV in front of millions of

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Speaker 2: people in a cage.

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Speaker 3: We're allowed to try and kill each other.

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Speaker 2: The nerve plus now you throw onto now the fact

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Speaker 2: that you have memes and social media and that pressure

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Speaker 2: and that embarrassment.

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Speaker 3: It's so true.

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Speaker 2: Everything in the fight game starts no six inches between

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Speaker 2: the and we don't have enough.

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Speaker 3: But that's whenever our work with fighters, we do a

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Speaker 3: lot of ship group.

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Speaker 2: But more than anything, I'm just look on that mindset,

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Speaker 2: being relentless, being relentless, how to kind of engine there.

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Speaker 2: And then by the way, hey listen, if things aren't

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Speaker 2: going right in the first three minutes, we got to

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Speaker 2: change a game plan on the fly.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: You have to be strong enough to be able to

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Speaker 2: do that and take that right, you know, recognize that

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Speaker 2: that's all mental wealth, mental health, mental right.

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Speaker 3: Mental health is not just depressing anxiety.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I love that idea, that of mental

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Speaker 4: wealth to because you have to invest in it. And

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Speaker 4: like you said, when you're in the fight and the

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Speaker 4: ship hits the fan, if you've waited, that's not when

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Speaker 4: you start training your brain right, you need to do that.

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Speaker 4: I look at four phases of every performance. There's planning, preparing, performing,

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Speaker 4: and processing. The majority of your work is done in

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Speaker 4: planning and preparing, so when you perform, you don't have

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Speaker 4: to think you just get out of your own way

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Speaker 4: and do it. But if you don't, you don't change

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Speaker 4: those brain patterns. With the mental skills that I teach

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Speaker 4: that beforehand, the likelihood they're going to actually benefit you

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Speaker 4: and be that edge and help you push through adversity

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Speaker 4: is the probabilities it's not in your favor.

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Speaker 3: Protect me the process.

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Speaker 2: When God gets drafted by the barriers, Yeah, yeah, your

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Speaker 2: process with that, Like Caleb Williams, he gets drafted, your

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Speaker 2: process boom go you know Rome this year or yeah,

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Speaker 2: Ean Allen gets traded.

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Speaker 3: Over to you, like and I don't know if it's well.

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Speaker 2: I do want to know what's different from a guy

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Speaker 2: who gets drafted to a veteran player who comes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's a great question, you know, without getting

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Speaker 4: into a lot of the details of the course proprietary

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Speaker 4: that you know about, I'll speak in general terms, and

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Speaker 4: obviously everything starts years in advance. With our scouting department,

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Speaker 4: and most scouting departments are are pretty similar this way,

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Speaker 4: where you're doing a lot of subjective you know, I

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Speaker 4: call it in the military world intelligence gathering. You're looking

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Speaker 4: for actual intelligence to look at their makeup, right, So

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Speaker 4: you're looking at their coachability, You're looking at what type

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Speaker 4: of person they are on and off the field.

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Speaker 5: You're talking to everyone.

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Speaker 4: That's in their you know, sphere of influence as I

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Speaker 4: call it, from their coaches, to their parents, to their friends,

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Speaker 4: to their girlfriends. So like we have you think a

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Speaker 4: scouts is kind of like people who are collecting intelligence

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Speaker 4: that create this makeup years in advance. And then as

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Speaker 4: we get closer to the draft, we're obviously now people

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Speaker 4: think of the combine, you know, which is we're looking

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Speaker 4: at their physical attributes, some that don't necessarily translate, you know,

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Speaker 4: over to the football field directly, but we're trying. It's

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Speaker 4: all educated guests, and so we also deploy psychological assessments too,

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Speaker 4: and so you think about the psychological combine.

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Speaker 5: Element of the NFL.

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Speaker 4: Draft is using these valid and reliable psychological tools to

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Speaker 4: look at their what's called their makeup. So we're looking

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Speaker 4: at their attributes and their characteristics, and we're looking at

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Speaker 4: them objectively to give us information that tells us knowing

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Speaker 4: about their personality and their character which is kind of

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Speaker 4: like you look at characters like their values, purpose beliefs

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Speaker 4: that are the drivers that you know, drive them you know,

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Speaker 4: so if you're looking at okay, well do they really

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Speaker 4: love the game, it's a very common thing. Well, we

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Speaker 4: can actually look at what motivates them. We're also looking

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Speaker 4: at you know, their example, their football IQ. And that's

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Speaker 4: what we think when we tend to think of the

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Speaker 4: mental game, especially in football, we think of football IQ.

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Speaker 4: And there's a couple assessments that are out there. I

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Speaker 4: won't name them, you know, but they look at the

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Speaker 4: information processing, their learning style, their spatial awareness, their decision making,

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Speaker 4: their problem solving. And then there's another piece that is

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Speaker 4: often forgot about, and that's their mental toughness question, you know, quotient.

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Speaker 5: That's looking at their confidence.

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Speaker 4: Their you know, looking at their ability to control themselves

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Speaker 4: and their emotions, looking at their challenge orientation, their risk orientation,

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Speaker 4: and looking at their confidence.

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Speaker 5: And I think there's probably a last piece.

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Speaker 4: In there too, you know that some teams look at

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Speaker 4: as well, and that's their emotional intelligence. And so I

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Speaker 4: think about that like being a thermostat. Your audience is

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Speaker 4: out there familiar with Daniel Goldman, that's his work, and

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Speaker 4: so that's like being a thermostat. So this is actually

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Speaker 4: what makes a great teammate makes somebody coachable and what

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Speaker 4: makes somebody a great leader, which is another thing that

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Speaker 4: I do with the Bears. So I will tell you,

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Speaker 4: jayfis I pick one thing that I look at is

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Speaker 4: that I want a player who's been through some hardship, man, Like,

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Speaker 4: I want a guy who's and adversity is relative and

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Speaker 4: stress is relative.

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Speaker 5: Right. Okay, So if you're a suburban kid and you

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Speaker 5: had to set.

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Speaker 4: Out a year and not transfer, you know, then you

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Speaker 4: know you've had everything given to your life. Your resilience

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Speaker 4: is relative. If your guy like Josh Jacobs, if you

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Speaker 4: know his story.

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Speaker 5: Yes, a dude who was homeless in the car, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: living in a car with his families, had to scratch

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Speaker 5: and claw and fight for everything he's had. That man,

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Speaker 5: that dude's right.

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Speaker 4: There is a guy that I want, you know, because

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Speaker 4: I want to go to war with that guy. And

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Speaker 4: his relative coping skills that he's had through his experience

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Speaker 4: or that he's learned on his own, that's huge. That's huge, right,

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Speaker 4: And so I think what we're trying to do is

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Speaker 4: we're trying to create this way of assessing their makeup

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Speaker 4: that's subjective and objective to then provide information to our

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Speaker 4: leaders to make decisions on them, and then once we

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Speaker 4: assess them, we select them based on that criteria and

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Speaker 4: it's all weighted.

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Speaker 5: There's a formula that goes into that.

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Speaker 4: So then draft happens and free agency happens, and so

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Speaker 4: once we assess them, now we select them, we bring

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Speaker 4: them in. Now we hand that off the player development,

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Speaker 4: which I'm also a part of, and so we're.

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Speaker 5: Now taking that information.

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Speaker 4: Uh, players can opt out of taking psychological assessments, but

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Speaker 4: once they actually are part of the roster, we can

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Speaker 4: no longer psychologically test them according to the the bargaining agreement,

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Speaker 4: and that's something that you know is evolving over time,

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Speaker 4: but it's just privileged information right now.

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Speaker 5: But if they've.

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Speaker 4: Elected in and they'd opted in, we now have this

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Speaker 4: information we can hand off to the coaches And then

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Speaker 4: I'm a part of as well too because I'm a coach,

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Speaker 4: to now understand how they think, how they respond to

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Speaker 4: different situations, and how the coaches match up from a

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Speaker 4: relationship standpoint to develop them and to get the most

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Speaker 4: out of them. So that then allows us to look

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Speaker 4: at that bridge that mental fritness groups. How do I

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Speaker 4: meet the player where they're at to get them where

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Speaker 4: they want to go, and that starts with the relationship.

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Speaker 5: And especially Generation Z, they want a relationship.

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Speaker 4: Transactional things in the NFL are a long gone thing

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Speaker 4: of the past, and you're seeing coaches and players who

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Speaker 4: focus on transactional relationships, you know, are not having a

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Speaker 4: lot success. But you've got to form a unique bond

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Speaker 4: and connection at a personal level. And when you can

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Speaker 4: do that, you establish trust and rapport and a lot

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Speaker 4: of things are possible.

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Speaker 3: So that real quick, Yeah, it's because of social media.

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Speaker 3: Nothing's real in our lives. That's real.

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Speaker 2: That's why Dan Campbell works and Mike Tomlin work works

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Speaker 2: like they want something that is real, and that's you know,

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Speaker 2: there's there's we're dealing with bots on X and we're

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Speaker 2: dealing with filtered highlights that it's just full of shit

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Speaker 2: on Facebook and Instagram. So that relationship, you're right, is

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Speaker 2: more important now than ever. So let's say now you

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Speaker 2: get the lawship come in the process for a rookie.

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Speaker 2: Then we'll get to a veteran AFT. Now they're on

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Speaker 2: the team. What do you do to help these guys? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're on the teams. So what's cool is the NFL.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So the NFL has a really cool program like

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Speaker 4: on our side as it's a total wellness program. So

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Speaker 4: there's some mandatory training and classes they have to go through.

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Speaker 4: That's that's outside of what the rookies doing that you know,

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Speaker 4: I mean that I call those life skills, right, and

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Speaker 4: so that has everything to do with their their mind,

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Speaker 4: their body, their spirit, their money. You know, it's some

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Speaker 4: and it's been developed and adjusted over time. And then

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Speaker 4: there's a component of that that I teach that has

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Speaker 4: to do with mental performance and resilience as well too,

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Speaker 4: and so there's that's a that's a big.

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Speaker 5: Part of what they do, you know, what you do.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so I teach them about what mental performance is,

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Speaker 4: you know, because a lot of them, depending on where

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Speaker 4: they've come from, like you talked about, you know, even

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Speaker 4: even they may have a great psychology department across campus,

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Speaker 4: that doesn't mean the coach is going to allow them

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Speaker 4: to work with that sports psychology department.

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Speaker 5: And there's that faculty.

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Speaker 4: So you know, it alsus to understand what is their

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Speaker 4: relative experience working with somebody like leading, working with somebody

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Speaker 4: like our our team clinician. And again that allows us

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Speaker 4: to be able to understand a baseline as far as

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Speaker 4: what their work is. Some of them have received somebody

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Speaker 4: through their a sports agency. Of some of the big

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Speaker 4: sports agencies have people like me on their staff that

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Speaker 4: they can work with them, or they've worked with them

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Speaker 4: through their separate you know, quarterbacks coach or the position

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Speaker 4: coach that is part of their team outside of the

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Speaker 4: But then I think, I'm so it's really heavy on

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Speaker 4: the education. But the big thing for me is just

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Speaker 4: being available and being around so they knew who I am.

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Speaker 4: You know, and most of my money that I make Jay,

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Speaker 4: whether you're rookie or you're a veteran, is you know,

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Speaker 4: by having conversations, sitting down and having a meal, just

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Speaker 4: chopping up outside of football. It's just like you said,

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Speaker 4: just being a real dude. Like for me, being effective

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Speaker 4: at what I do starts a good leadership. And if

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Speaker 4: I'm a good dude and I'm someone that they learn that. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: all great leadership starts with good dudership. Man, if you're

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Speaker 4: a good dude, and like, man, I trust Andy and

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Speaker 4: I know that when I talk to him, I have confidentiality.

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Speaker 5: It stays between us.

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Speaker 4: What needs to stay between us stays between us. But

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Speaker 4: I also have a unique relationship because I want to

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Speaker 4: normalize mental training. Is that if they are willing to

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Speaker 4: disclose information and get their coach involved or get other

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Speaker 4: people involved, now we start to multiply the effects as

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Speaker 4: far as what this training looks like, because we're reducing

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Speaker 4: stigma and we're getting it out of the shadows in

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Speaker 4: this black box where it's been for so long, and

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Speaker 4: now we're actually true this like a true skill, just

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Speaker 4: like you know, blocking and tackling or the other fundamentals.

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Speaker 4: And so that's in a roundabout way, how I do it.

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Speaker 4: The veterans is a little bit trickier and for me,

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Speaker 4: my my really point of entry is really talking to

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Speaker 4: the leaders because if they're not familiar with me, they

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Speaker 4: haven't worked with someone like me on another team or

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Speaker 4: in the in this my first year with the Bears,

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Speaker 4: then it's it's a little bit more challenging, right because

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Speaker 4: they're like, why do I need?

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Speaker 5: What do I need from Andy? And what's he going

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Speaker 5: to do for me?

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Speaker 4: And so I think they're the way that I attack

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Speaker 4: that is through leadership, right and asking about you know,

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Speaker 4: and getting to know them on a personal level. Big

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Speaker 4: Dog is a great example you know who's only six years. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: shout shout out to Marcedes Lewis. And part of that

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Speaker 4: is this co opting for years.

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Speaker 3: I got them in year four I think, and that

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Speaker 3: was your nineteen right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what an amazing I mean we talk about the

439
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,119
Speaker 4: locker room guy. The guys a force multiplier, you know

440
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 4: when it comes to things like what I do. And

441
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 4: so for me to understand what it's like to be

442
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 4: in the l for nineteen years, I have no idea

443
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 4: what that's like despite all my experience. So for us,

444
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 4: it's just really having conversation about what is it like

445
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 4: to be a veter in the NFL and what's important

446
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,360
Speaker 4: to these guys? How can I reach them? How can

447
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,960
Speaker 4: you help me be my nuclear business card? Because the

448
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 4: players talk, and the players know who's real and who's not,

449
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 4: who they trust and they can't trust in varying levels. Right,

450
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 4: So if I'm not in with those key multipliers, then

451
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,480
Speaker 4: I'm dead in the water. I'm not going to be

452
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 4: able to make a difference for the Vets, especially the

453
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,639
Speaker 4: team captains, who are really the epicenter of influence for

454
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 4: the team. You know, great teams are player led. You

455
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,360
Speaker 4: know that we talk about all the time. But you know, understand,

456
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 4: but they doesn't cstainly mean that they know how to lead.

457
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,360
Speaker 4: And that's another piece that I do on the Bears.

458
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: Give me the four season mental toughness.

459
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, four season mental toughness. This is the roadmap that

460
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 4: we operate office. So number one is confidence. So this

461
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,120
Speaker 4: has to do with this starts with the belief in yourself,

462
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 4: how you talk to yourself, and then your interpersonal confidence

463
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 4: as far as how you influence other people towards common

464
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 4: goals using trust and rapport. Second one is control. I

465
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 4: mean this is controlling how you think and how you

466
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 4: respond in any situations. Controlling you know that what you

467
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 4: do impacts how you perform. It also is how you

468
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 4: control your emotions before they control you. Controlling your imagery,

469
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 4: controlling your imagination and then controlling your attention and using

470
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 4: it like a weapon system.

471
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 5: The third one is commitment.

472
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,239
Speaker 4: At leach starts with motivation and discipline and understanding how

473
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 4: those two work together and how do you develop a

474
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 4: roadmap for success to be able to achieve your goals

475
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 4: but also to be able to learn even when you

476
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 4: don't achieve your goals and get the outcomes and The.

477
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 5: Final one is challenge.

478
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 4: So this is risk orientation, This is the growth in

479
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 4: the fixed mindset, and this is how I manage stress

480
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 4: and pressure to be able to optimize my performance and

481
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 4: bast back when I inevitably go through challenges. So that's

482
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 4: the fourth CE model of mental toughness. A lot of

483
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 4: good science behind it, and it works.

484
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 3: Give me the Okay, let's say, so many doesn't have confidence? Yeah,

485
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 3: how do you help build their confidence?

486
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 5: It's a great question. So you know, it really starts

487
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 5: with you know.

488
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 4: How they tend to see themselves, right, and so, and

489
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 4: a lot of that is indicated by how we talk

490
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 4: to ourselves. And so the first step is then beginning

491
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 4: basically understanding of the mind body connection. Right, we have

492
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 4: these brain patterns I just just I mentioned before. These

493
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 4: brain patterns help us and it hurt us. So if

494
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 4: they understand how they think affects how they feel both

495
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 4: physiologically and my body and my emotions, that affects how

496
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 4: I behave, what I do or don't do, and that

497
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 4: affects how I perform, which is how do I how

498
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 4: do I drive outcomes? If they understand that connection, the

499
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 4: only two things you control in that cycle is my

500
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 4: attitudes and my behaviors, how I think and how I respond.

501
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 4: And if they can control their attitude, they control what

502
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 4: they say to themselves. So the way that we talk

503
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 4: to ourselves really ultimately determines not only how we see ourselves,

504
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 4: how we see others, ultimately who we become, because it

505
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 4: helps drive that flywheel, but also it helps influence the

506
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 4: what I call the doom loop when you flush yourself

507
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 4: down the toilet. So that's a really fun so and

508
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 4: then I have different techniques that I use to be

509
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 4: able to help their self talk and to create their

510
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 4: own playlist. So just like you listen to your own,

511
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 4: you know, playlist before your game to hype you up

512
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 4: or calm you down or get you focused, creating your

513
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 4: own playlist in terms of what you say to yourself before, during,

514
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 4: and after a performance really matters.

515
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 3: Well the playlist.

516
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: I would assume there's there's I don't know, but stew

517
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,160
Speaker 2: or not. But it's not just the game, it's all

518
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 2: the other stuff. It's the other days of the week two.

519
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 4: One hundred percent, and that that's what's so cool about

520
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 4: the Metal game Jay is that it doesn't require field,

521
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 4: it doesn't require a gin.

522
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 5: You can do it twenty four seven three sixty five

523
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 5: in when you sleep.

524
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 4: So the more reps you get, the better off you're

525
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 4: gonna become in terms of changing those brain patterns to

526
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 4: be more productive. And when you inevitably fall into a

527
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 4: counterproductive brain pattern, you can get out of that right

528
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 4: so ineverthly, when that negative self talk comes in, what

529
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,959
Speaker 4: I teach my players and the science shows, is that

530
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 4: how do you accept you know, what I'm saying to myself?

531
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 4: How do I separate from it because I am not

532
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 4: my thoughts? And then what do I do about it?

533
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 4: So it's not just thinking, it's doing. And when you

534
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 4: when you can do that in a productive and effective ways,

535
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 4: you're more likely to get, you know, to perform at

536
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 4: an optimal level. And then, as I said optimal, I

537
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 4: don't mean necessarily like a peak performance where you're gonna

538
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 4: be in the zone all the damn time.

539
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 5: It's not the goal.

540
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,479
Speaker 4: The goal is to be able to when you have

541
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 4: a C game, how do you get a C plus?

542
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 4: Because that's what world class performers do. The Michael Jordan's,

543
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 4: the Lebron's, the Kobe Bryants, you know the best of.

544
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 5: The Tom Brady's.

545
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 4: They're not always gonna have feel great and they're not

546
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 4: always gonna have a great game, but they're.

547
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,439
Speaker 5: Able to squeeze every bit of juice out of what

548
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 5: they got. And that's the difference.

549
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna throw myself in.

550
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 2: Let's say I'm a player, and so this is a

551
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 2: real thing that I have, because yeah, here's control, right,

552
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: life control, emotional control.

553
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, control has sucked for a long time.

554
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: Right, there's a lot of players like about Burst that

555
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 2: they don't get the ball, and you try and make sure, Okay,

556
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 2: we can't do this anymore, but it's hard. So for

557
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 2: a guy like me, when I have a really gray meltdowns,

558
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 2: I self harm. Yeah, I tend to since I was

559
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 2: maybe in fifth, sixth, seventh grade till to this day.

560
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 2: I punched myself from the head and face over and over. Yeah,

561
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 2: I hit the artist. Fuck it sucks. Yeah, yeah, not

562
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 2: to do it.

563
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 3: Like I know logically not to do it, but that's

564
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 3: the control. So so now was one of.

565
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 5: Your players, Yeah, I'm.

566
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: Not able to have this emotional control. What would you,

567
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: you know, help with me? And I know this is

568
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 2: probably for you and the therapist together, but I was like, hey,

569
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 2: I got you here right now, I'm gonna fucking ask

570
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 2: you because I still you know, I still struggle with

571
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 2: it and it scares the shit out of people when

572
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 2: it happens, you know not to So how can I

573
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 2: build that control?

574
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 5: So? Does that happen when you hit that cell phone?

575
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 4: Has it happened in the moment, like right afterwards or

576
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 4: when does it happen after the right in.

577
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 2: The moment I get frustraight because I don't want to

578
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 2: put my hands anybody else or anything else, no problem

579
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: destroying me lack of worth?

580
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:56,719
Speaker 5: So does that?

581
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 4: And then how long does that last when you're kind

582
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 4: of like where you're feeling a lot that rage and

583
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 4: what hold on?

584
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 5: Does that last few minutes? A few minutes? Okay? Gotcha? Yeah? So,

585
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 5: like I I've always I can relate to J.

586
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 4: I mean, I've had temporar issues and that's gotten worse

587
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 4: with my diagnosis of post amount of stress things in

588
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 4: and out of combat, right, and I think.

589
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 5: I think the most important thing.

590
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 4: And I used to deal with a lot with like

591
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,360
Speaker 4: pitchers who would come out of the dugout and where

592
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 4: they just got blown up in and they gave a

593
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 4: bunch of earned runs and they just would throw their

594
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 4: helmet and you know, or or a hitter who's in

595
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 4: a slump, or you know, you even see in football

596
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 4: guys slamming their helmet. They're pissed off, they're yelling at everybody,

597
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 4: they're not getting the ball, they made a mistake, or

598
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 4: they're frustrated because we're losing. And so I think the

599
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 4: important piece is is that you have all this energy

600
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,959
Speaker 4: built up that's related to that stress of that mistake

601
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 4: right where you're mad at yourself. I think it's important

602
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 4: to have space to create space to be able to

603
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 4: do that.

604
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 5: I feel like I.

605
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: Deserved to get beat down to wouldon't be the one

606
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 3: to beat myselfthing.

607
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 5: You know? And I and I think that's okay.

608
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 4: And I think it's like, you know, if it's you know,

609
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 4: and if people know you, and again it's about authenticity

610
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 4: and they know that you're a passionate guy and you care.

611
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter what the outside world looks at it.

612
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 4: The people are looking at you saying, okay, well that's

613
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 4: just Jake because he cares a lot.

614
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 5: Right.

615
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 4: The problem is that becomes destructive when that starts to

616
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 4: bleed over into your next play in your next series

617
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 4: or your next performance and what that is? Does that

618
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 4: happen to you?

619
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 5: Jay?

620
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's well, it's just that, it's just you know,

621
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 2: it's scared, Rosie, it's scared. Remember like I'm Milton, Bam

622
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 2: bam bam. Then you're then you deal with a shame.

623
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 5: After That's right.

624
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 4: The shame cycle happens, right, Yeah, And and that's natural, right,

625
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 4: And I think that So when that happens, you want

626
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 4: to develop develop a routine again.

627
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 5: You want to control your A and B button, right,

628
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 5: So the things.

629
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 4: That you want to do so when you want to

630
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 4: have it out, you want to have have that situation

631
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 4: happen when it is in a healthy way. And then

632
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 4: once you're done, you then want to be able to

633
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 4: think in ways in terms of Okay, when what do

634
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 4: you what do you say to yourself in that moment?

635
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 5: Jay? When you're mad? Are you are you beating yourself up?

636
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 5: Are you critical? Analytical and judgmental? Yeah? So what I

637
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 5: want you to do is I want you to I

638
00:26:59,240 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 5: want you accept that.

639
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, that inner critic is designed to keep you safe,

640
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 4: so you're never gonna shut it up. So I want

641
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 4: you to embrace. I want you to give it, give it,

642
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 4: give it some space. Accept the fact that you're being

643
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 4: critical in your own worst enemy at this point in time,

644
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 4: and accept that.

645
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 5: Right.

646
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 4: And then what I want you to do is then

647
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 4: I want you to actually do some things. They're going

648
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 4: to help you downshift to hit the brakes on your

649
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 4: nervous system.

650
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 5: Right. There's a couple of things that you can do

651
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 5: right in that moment too. One is the breath. That's

652
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 5: like putting your auction mass.

653
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 4: On right, because especially when you on your exhale, you're

654
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 4: hitting the brake system in your nervous system, and you're

655
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 4: actually releasing things like norpernephronin and serotonin that inhibit cortisol.

656
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 4: So now you're going from the fight mode to now

657
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 4: I'm I'm downshifting and I can regulate myself in the moment.

658
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 5: Now.

659
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 4: Once I start to regulating myself, maybe and maybe I'm

660
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 4: separating myself from my teammates or somebody else to where

661
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 4: they you know, maybe I go for a walk, I

662
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 4: go outside for a minute. Then I start to and

663
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 4: that's accept I shift from it. And I actually I

664
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 4: want you to observe that you know, and give that

665
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 4: give that anger character of yours, give it a just

666
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 4: like that movie Inside Out. Give it a make it

667
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 4: a character right in your mind's eye. I want you

668
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 4: to maybe it's a it's a little flame, or maybe

669
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 4: it's this the dictator like.

670
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 5: Borat or something like that.

671
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 4: Whatever it is, I want you to give it a character,

672
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 4: like on your shoulder, and I want you to look

673
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 4: at it and say, like, hey, are you helping me

674
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 4: or hurting me?

675
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: Right now?

676
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 5: Right? And if you're hurting me right now.

677
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not gonna shut you up, but I'm

678
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 4: gonna punch you and you're gonna shut up, and you're

679
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 4: gonna sit down. And then I'm gonna ship to the

680
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 4: next most productive thing in terms of how I think

681
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 4: and what I do. So now I'm gonna shift to

682
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 4: productive thinking and say, Okay, I don't want you to

683
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 4: think positive. I don't want you to blow the sunshine

684
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 4: and rainbows up your back because that that doesn't word

685
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: being positive or it's being neutral.

686
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 5: It's like, Okay, that just happened. I just made that mistake. Okay,

687
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 5: this just happened. What are you gonna do about it?

688
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 3: Jay?

689
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 5: Okay?

690
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 4: And then that's asking yourself a question. And now I

691
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 4: shipped into What am I gonna do the next play?

692
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 4: What am I gonna do the next event?

693
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 5: The next time?

694
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 4: I learned from that because I've actually reflected on it.

695
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 4: I filtered out what I need, I got rid of

696
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 4: what I don't, and now I focus on the next

697
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 4: part of my mission. So I would say those steps,

698
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 4: and it seems like a lot because that is described

699
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 4: the first time. But what I do is I make

700
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 4: that easy. Three things that you can do that you

701
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 4: can remember that you put into practice, that when the

702
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 4: moment happens, you fall back on those because those are

703
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 4: your dominant brain patterns.

704
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: I love that, dude.

705
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 2: One of the things I've done is, you know, it's

706
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,479
Speaker 2: no secret Michael Phelps and I were like mental health buddies.

707
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 2: Yeah starts Now, I half the time I still do

708
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 2: it to myself. The other half I call him or

709
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 2: I text him, I sent him a video or something,

710
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 2: and he gets me out of my habits and he

711
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 2: doesn't yeah me. But the cool thing here, Annie is

712
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: two years ago, three years ago, we'd never be able

713
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 2: to have this conversation all well. The reason why I

714
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 2: want to do this, I want to be like, Hey,

715
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: what's the worst or the most dramatic thing I do

716
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: and show the world. If you and I you're a

717
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: special operations military and working NFL teams, I'm in the

718
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 2: middle of football, of fighting and ball center dudeism myself.

719
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 2: If two of us can have conversations, it's open for

720
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 2: the world to hear.

721
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 3: The rest of you all come to hell, Yeah, you

722
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 3: can run from each other here. We're like, yeah, man,

723
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 3: we're teammates. How do we build each other up?

724
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 5: That's right?

725
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, And I think that's why we need we need.

726
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 4: I think I'm with you too, and I think that's

727
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 4: what people who think like we're trying to make a

728
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 4: difference in the world, to gravitate towards each other. And

729
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 4: for me, this is, you know, my bigger vision here

730
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 4: is just like yours. You know, as I've listened to

731
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 4: your podcast, is like, hey, let's get this in the

732
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 4: systemocratize it's getting in the hands of more people, and

733
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,479
Speaker 4: let's normalize this. Let's make this just like like you know,

734
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 4: training training of your body or training your trade craft.

735
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 4: You know, it's the same thing. And we're way overdue

736
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 4: from the importance of training your mind. Because I mean, interestingly,

737
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 4: if I I ask players at all levels and performers

738
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 4: leaders at all the levels. And I've asked this question

739
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 4: for twenty years now, and I just ask them, hey,

740
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 4: what's when it comes to your success and what you do,

741
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 4: what's more important the mental and physical side, and give

742
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 4: it a percentage out of one hundred percent. Can't exceed

743
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 4: a hundred percent. I've never had anybody say less than

744
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 4: fifty percent or sixty percent is usually the norm. And

745
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 4: then I ask them how much time do you actually spend,

746
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 4: you know, working on your mental game? And in football,

747
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 4: it's a lot of it's film football IQ. They don't

748
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 4: understand the other part of it, and so inevitably it's flipped.

749
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 4: They spend more time working on there because it's tangible.

750
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 4: What's measured gets managed. But the deal is is that

751
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 4: if people understood how to train their brains to win

752
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,479
Speaker 4: from within, now we're really not only starting to you know,

753
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,959
Speaker 4: perform better and be healthier and happier, have better relationships.

754
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying it's God, I'm trying to solve

755
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 5: all the world's problems.

756
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 4: I'm not trying to boil the ocean. But if you're

757
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 4: doing this one person at a.

758
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 5: Time, that makes a huge difference, right.

759
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it looked I've flipped it.

760
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: I trained twice a day, but I do twelve things

761
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 2: for between my years every single day. It's the morning,

762
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 2: it's the ninth, it's the air through. It's a NonStop thing.

763
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 2: And yeah, we have been over to kind of flourished now,

764
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: unlucky ever have before because I have, I guess produced

765
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: an effective fight plan for me. Yeah, my game plan

766
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: for me and realize it's all behind my rid cage

767
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 2: in between my ears, and I really understand this. And

768
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: here like damn, Jay Glazery just opened up and said

769
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 2: he beats himself and harms himself to this day, Like

770
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 2: oh shit, if he could say that and say objective

771
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 2: league and that they're like without any shame if you will,

772
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 2: or a little stand there, but not not so much,

773
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 2: like you know that we could do the same thing,

774
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 2: and this just gets us closer, Like, son, you and

775
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 2: I didn't know about each other, Like, oh, you know,

776
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 2: you talk about Mercedes.

777
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 3: First time I ever opened up about shit.

778
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: Mercedes reached out and said, Damn, coach, I knew you're

779
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: crazy and that's a badge of honor in football fighting,

780
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 2: but I didn't.

781
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 3: Know you're in pain. So I got it and it's checked.

782
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 2: Me every week of my life since. So he went

783
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 2: from a friend to a brother. Yeah about this?

784
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 5: Yeah?

785
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 4: Can I give a tool for the audience today that

786
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 4: helped check and be a great brother too? Is you're

787
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 4: going back to that mental fitness bridge and if you

788
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 4: have show notes, uh majing, Justin and your team will

789
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 4: maybe throw this up there too. We look at that

790
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 4: bridge and ask someone here, are you surviving, coping or thriving?

791
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 4: And give it a scale one to ten. One is surviving,

792
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 4: Hey man, I'm barely hanging on. Five is in the middle,

793
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 4: I'm coping, I'm okay, I'm not great.

794
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 5: I'm not bad. And then in ten is man, I'm

795
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 5: having the best day ever. Like, where are you at

796
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 5: right now? What number are you? What number are you?

797
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 4: And then ask why are you that number right? So

798
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 4: let's and then the third thing you ask is what

799
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 4: can you do to move shift to the right? So

800
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 4: let's practice right now, Jay, Jay, where are you at?

801
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 4: Are you surviving, coping or thriving?

802
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 5: What number are you?

803
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 3: And what today? I'm probably I'm trying. I'm thriving today.

804
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 2: I did a podcast my wife before I'm doing with

805
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 2: you right now, Yeah, go work out right after.

806
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 3: This, got some other stuff going. So I say, I'm thriving.

807
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 5: What number?

808
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 2: But I had a meltdown last night, and so I'm

809
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: a little shame to that. And it was over nothing,

810
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: but I had to melt down. Didn't hit myself, but

811
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 2: I wasn't proud how I behaved. So I probably said

812
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 2: I'm in a seven.

813
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 3: Probably we had a.

814
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: Nine, if not for last night maybe. But one of

815
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 2: the things my wife says is so good she doesn't

816
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:20,720
Speaker 2: let me feel ashamed. That's huge, and we discussed it awesome,

817
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 2: like one of the biggest things in the shame. She's like, well,

818
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: then I'm not gonna let you feel that way and

819
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 2: we believe. Look we're good, okay, yeah right, So yeah,

820
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 2: because of fame of last night, what can you do.

821
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 5: To move one number to the right between the now

822
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 5: and the end of the day, Jay.

823
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 3: Working forgive, forgive myself and also I realize, okay, she's

824
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 3: not going anywhere.

825
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 2: Next time, we can always start over and like next time,

826
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 2: do better, Like give myself a confidence next time you're

827
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 2: going to do better, and remind myself the next time

828
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 2: you promised you gonna do better.

829
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, man, what can I What can I do as

830
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 5: your brother and your battle buddy? What can I do

831
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 5: to what can I do to support you?

832
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 2: Jay? I think you just did by asking me, right,

833
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: I think you just did and got me to put

834
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: a number there and go, okay, how can I move forward?

835
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 5: That's cool, man, That's It's that simple, folks. You know

836
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 5: it's that simple, right, Really?

837
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: Yeah?

838
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 3: I love this, dude, really cool. I appreciate that.

839
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: Man. That's really really cool. And I know it's gonna help

840
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 2: a lot of people. Where else can people see your work?

841
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 5: Yeah? Absolutely.

842
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,760
Speaker 4: So My big thing outside of the working with UH

843
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 4: in the NFL right now is my my public speaking,

844
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 4: Like I really want to create more awareness understanding about

845
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 4: what mental fitness is and get the word out. And

846
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 4: so you know, check my my website at designed to

847
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 4: perform dot org. This is uh, this is my company

848
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 4: right there that you probably like that Jay, the kettle

849
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 4: down design to perform.

850
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a grenade.

851
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,359
Speaker 5: I could be a grenade. We can yeah, we can

852
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 5: make it a mind bomb. Yeah exactly.

853
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 2: So, uh that is my design to perform dot com yeah,

854
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 2: dot org.

855
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 3: Design to perform dot org, yes, sir.

856
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 2: Yeah.

857
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 4: And then if you want to hire me as a

858
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 4: keynote speaker. My my keynote is rise up, fighting to win.

859
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 5: The war from within.

860
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 4: And that's what you learn about what mental events is,

861
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 4: why it's important you learn about the check in, and

862
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 4: you also learn about how to develop a roadmap for

863
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 4: to develop yours and your team's mental fitness using the

864
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 4: four C.

865
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 5: Model that I just described.

866
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 4: And so I'm open for hires, So hit me up

867
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 4: if for your next event, virtual, in person or whatnot

868
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 4: to And let's get the word out right, let's let's

869
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 4: let's get after ways to train our brain to win

870
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 4: within so we can all lead, grow and uh, you know,

871
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,439
Speaker 4: make ourselves on other people better.

872
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 3: And you know, look, next year I want to come out.

873
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 3: I'd love to talk to the Barrie.

874
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 2: We'll talk about I've talked a lot of different teams

875
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 2: and talk to the whole UFL and uh, we're gonna

876
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 2: we gotta keep this and again that whole thing of like, look,

877
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 2: we need that unbreakable mindset in a cage you're on

878
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: a field, but also unbreakable mindset has to be we

879
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: lean into each other, right, And what I've done also

880
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 2: when I coach a lot of these guys, and I'm

881
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: weaponized my mental health issues. I've learned to think at

882
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 2: my depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar everything.

883
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 3: You say, where's it helped me? Where's it become my superpower?

884
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 2: Then? If it helps me, if I weaponize it, I'm

885
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 2: not ashamed by it anymore.

886
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 3: How it feels? And then how could we use it for?

887
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 3: How did it end up helping me in my life?

888
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 2: Before I let you go, I asked all my guests, this,

889
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 2: give me your unbreakable moment, one moment in your life

890
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 2: that could have should have broken your did.

891
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 3: Now you came through the other side of that tunnel

892
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 3: stronger forever.

893
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 5: No, I really appreciate this is really cool timing because

894
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 5: it's gone full circle for me my first time telling this.

895
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 4: I appreciate the question. So I was towards the end

896
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 4: of my career military career. I just got, you know,

897
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 4: selected to be promoted to the tenant colonel. I got

898
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,479
Speaker 4: selected to teacher the Air Force Academy. I was working

899
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,919
Speaker 4: in the ten Special Forces Group. I had this badass team,

900
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 4: my wife, my four beautiful kids. I was on top

901
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 4: of the world man and I for whatever reason, I

902
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,800
Speaker 4: made a mistake and you know, I made a decision

903
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 4: out of character that basically led me get into some

904
00:37:55,520 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 4: serious trouble man, and as a as a result, you know,

905
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,919
Speaker 4: I went in front of a general officer at the time.

906
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 4: He's Major General Randy George. He's now the chiefest Staff

907
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 4: of the Army of four star general.

908
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 5: At the time.

909
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 4: He had a decision, mate, you know, so we've got

910
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 4: to punish this guy, the senior officer.

911
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 5: He should know better.

912
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 4: It's the first mistake I've ever made in my entire

913
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 4: career eighteen years at this point. And he decided to

914
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 4: give me a second chance, and me, I had been

915
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 4: in that position before, because as a commander, you're kind

916
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 4: of a judge, jury and executioner.

917
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 5: And I was so thankful for that.

918
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 4: I decided to dedicate the rest of my career and

919
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 4: the rest of my life towards making the most out

920
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 4: of that second chance by pouring and serving into others.

921
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 4: As as a result, I've always thought about this, if

922
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 4: I ever saw him again, how much I'd want to

923
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 4: thank him. And I missed him, but he came to

924
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 4: the Bears Patriots game. I found out about it through

925
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 4: our leadership, and I was able to get his email

926
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 4: and I was able to write him a really heartfelt

927
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 4: thank you to him telling me about what happened, because oftentimes,

928
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 4: as leaders, we make decisions that affect other people's lives

929
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 4: and they move on. Especially in the military, you move

930
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 4: every two years, and you know what happens to them, right,

931
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 4: you know? Did they this guy? Was this guy a

932
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 4: dirt bag and did he like not do anything with it?

933
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 4: Or did he do something good with it?

934
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 5: You know? And I was committed to doing something good

935
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 5: with it.

936
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,839
Speaker 4: And my low point, Jay, you can appreciate this. I

937
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 4: was so depressed. I actually thought.

938
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 5: About taking my own life, you know, and I.

939
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 4: Experienced depression and again I was I've had my own

940
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 4: mental health battles, and I've experienced post traumatic stress and

941
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 4: prost traumatic growth. But you know, I really there was

942
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 4: at a really low point into where I don't I

943
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 4: didn't know if I wanted to go on, if it

944
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 4: wasn't for my faith, my family, my friends and getting

945
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 4: help and actually putting my pride in my pocket and

946
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 4: going getting help, which I hadn't.

947
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:41,879
Speaker 5: Done at that point in my career.

948
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 4: Even though I had my mental performance coach, you know,

949
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 4: I thought that I had all the answers and I didn't.

950
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 4: And by you know, I had a good set of skills,

951
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:51,919
Speaker 4: but I needed I needed other people, and I sought

952
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 4: that help. And just so I was able to reach

953
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 4: out to General George and I was able to thank him.

954
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 4: He's able to write me back, and I get a

955
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 4: little choked up even thinking about it because I got it.

956
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 4: You've done a good kid type of email back man,

957
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 4: And so General George, thank you, sir. If you ever

958
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 4: review watch this podcast, I owe you my life and

959
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,399
Speaker 4: my career, and.

960
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,240
Speaker 5: I've committed to paying it forward.

961
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 4: So I hope everyone else is inspired by that story

962
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 4: and does something good for somebody else today by check

963
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 4: it in.

964
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 3: I love you, man, I appreciate it. Dude.

965
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 2: Uh glad to call your teammate and listen to any

966
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 2: stories like being unbreakable is not always being on topics.

967
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 3: See it's all the.

968
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 2: Shit you go through. Hell, yeah, didn't break you forever.

969
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: You didn't take your life. So what can we do

970
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 2: to pay it forward for the rest of our lives

971
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 2: being of service to everybody else? Any rates mental performance

972
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 2: coach for the Chicago Bears appreciate you.

973
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 5: Really, Let's go