WEBVTT - How Asexuality Works 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.840 Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. 0:00:03.160 --> 0:00:07.360 It's ready. Are you welcome to you stuff you should 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:16.239 know from house Stuff Works dot Com. Hey, and welcome 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:19.159 to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark and there's Charles W. 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:23.960 Chuck Bryant and he I can't really say what he's 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:27.080 doing right now, but he's having a fine time. I'm 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:30.160 playing by a little what is this try stop try Saratops? 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.120 We have dinosaurs in a jar in here. I don't 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:36.280 know who brought these in, but I thank them because 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:38.800 it's kind of fun. It is fun. It looks really 0:00:38.880 --> 0:00:41.080 uncomfortable for the dinosaurs, like I've seen too many of 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:43.760 the toy story movies too. That's to leave these things 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:48.159 b That's why I've secured the try sterotops by my 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:51.120 side today. That's nice. He'll be with us through a sexuality, 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:53.640 Yes he will. Um, We're gonna go on a little 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:59.120 journey through a sexuality today. UM. This is this is uh, 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.639 I guess new to me. Like I've heard the term 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:05.320 before a sexual um, but I never really realized that 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:10.760 it's becoming. And there's a group of people who who 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:13.600 claimed this as their sexual orientation. Yeah, you hear the 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:17.520 word kind of thrown around like, you know, well, they 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:19.720 never really had a girlfriend and boyfriend that scene. They're 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:23.160 they're just sort of a sexual, right or it's often 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:28.240 it's often um put alongside androgyny, you know, so like 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.040 a sexual meaning genderless, but that's not at all what 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:36.600 it means and improperly tied to uh abstinence, celibacy, celibacy. 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:41.280 Tim Tebow, Yeah, if you believe the lies, I don't know. 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:43.520 I think he's for real, do you yeah, sure yeah 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:48.320 um Or Morrissey, Yeah, he's legendarily celibate celibate, right, but 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:53.120 not necessarily a sexual difference. So I looked into this 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.880 a little more before even proposing this, and I was 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:59.040 just fascinated with it. Not in like a prurient sense, 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.840 I was interested. And what kicked it all off was 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.600 I was in Lyne at the bank and there was 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:08.679 this woman reading a book while she was going through 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:13.160 like the teller transaction, and she had um this uh 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:16.600 this T shirt on and it said uh aven a 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:18.760 V and and I looked a little closer and it 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:24.080 said a Sexuality Visibility and Education Network. Right, It's not 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:25.800 off the top of my head did have a logo 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.800 or anything it did. I didn't recognize it until now, 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.400 and I still can't conjure it up in my mind's eye. 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.160 But it was a triangle, and I took it to 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:37.480 me like a like a the pink triangle for homosexuality. 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:41.399 It is not. It's just a triangle. Had I looked 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:43.720 a little closer, I, had I looked now, I would 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.919 see that. I think it's a slice of cake, okay, sure, 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:50.480 which is their their symbol, right supposedly from a quote 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.320 from someone and a sexual who said, between the slices 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.720 of cake and sex, I'd take the cake, right, So 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:58.919 this think everyone feels that way once or another though, right, Okay, 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:01.840 So that's an excellent point. Yeah. The difference is if 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:05.120 you're a sexual, you feel that way virtually all the time. 0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:10.360 That is quite literally your orientation. You're oriented towards no 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:15.919 sexual attraction, no sexual preferences. Um, although you may still 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:20.400 if you do feel any kind of romantic feelings, it 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:26.600 would still possibly go along homosexual or heterosexual lines, right right, Yes, 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:30.360 let's get into this okay. Um, I guess Alfred Kinsey 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:32.240 is a pretty good place to start whenever you're talking 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:35.480 about people doing it or not doing it. Man, I 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.760 don't know how he got into these people's how we 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.880 got people to talk like this back then? Have you 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:44.320 seen the movie? No, it's good. Yeah, the y fine, 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.960 he beat everybody up. He did a bunch of poles 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.560 and then whipped everyone's But yeah, um, he's like, I 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:56.480 have a very specific data set. Uh so in his 0:03:56.600 --> 0:04:01.840 Kinsey uh scale, the famous Kinsey scale rates very inclusively 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:06.160 a scale from I think in here they say from 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:11.200 fleeting attraction to longer term, longer term compulsions like tries 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:14.040 to include everyone in the scale, but it's still generally 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:19.320 not inclusive of a sexuals group X. It's like completely 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.040 non inclusive. It goes from zero to six and it's 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:26.520 straight up hetero to straight up homo sexual that's right, right, 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.120 and then there's stuff in between, and you can fall 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.920 somewhere in on this spectrum. But it was pretty groundbreaking 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.960 at the time because first of all, people weren't really 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:39.040 talking about homosexuality much so to make a scale that 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.080 was inclusive of them that was pretty revolutionary. Yeah, but 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.480 he did identify group X, he just didn't include it 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.360 on the scale. Group X to him was the one 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.360 point five percent of men and of women who said 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.960 I don't have sexual relations, that I'm not interested in it. Right, 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:57.159 but he just kind of disregarded that as an anomaly 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.120 group or maybe he thought he would come back to 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:03.120 it at some later day. Never did. Uh. And but 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:05.400 out of this he said something that's kind of a 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:07.599 famous quote. He said, the world is not to be 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:11.600 divided into sheep and goats, which means, like you're not. 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:15.200 There's more than just straight, there's more than just gay, 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.280 there's some stuff in between, there's a range. But he 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.560 still left out group X. He still left out group 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:23.840 what's weird? And Kristin Conger, who wrote this article, good 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:25.880 job too. Yeah, she did a good job tying this 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.720 all together. There was a study in two two of 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:38.320 rams that produced another group X, and it's in its sample. Interestingly, 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:42.760 also rams and cheap because apparently there's a guy named 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.920 m Charles Roselli and he was looking to find if 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:49.000 there's a biological basis for homosexuality. So return to the 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:54.080 animal kingdom, right, Apparently rams can be gay. They rams 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:56.560 can party down with other rams for like, and when 0:05:56.600 --> 0:06:00.960 there's females around, they'll still just say, hey, that guy 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:04.440 looks pretty good. To me. So he also found that 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:10.479 there's some that don't go for either, and UM this 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:15.080 this group X among rams started to UM. This formed 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:17.880 the basis of the idea of a sexuality is an 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:21.480 orientation as far as like academy is concerned, right, And 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.080 the flip side of this, which we haven't really mentioned, 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:29.159 is as opposed to UM, a physiological problem, an issue, 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:35.440 or a mental illness, which up until waste homosexuality is 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.360 considered a mental illness. So until seventy three, and then 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:42.200 in nineteen eighty six they finally took out the secondary 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:47.680 UM basically being stressed out from being gay was it 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:50.800 was a diagnosis until six and finally there's like no 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:55.559 homosexuality in the DSM any longer, but essentially until eighty six, 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:58.800 and in seventy three that was when the straight up 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.000 like if you're gay, you're mental ill was taken out. 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:03.480 And the d s M is we've talked about it before, 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:07.680 the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders basically where 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:12.560 they classify everything, and it's important, Chuck, we should say 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.680 what goes in there, because it's basically the book that says, 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.760 here's what society thinks is normal. And here's what society 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.440 thinks is abnormal. And if you who considers yourself normal, 0:07:23.080 --> 0:07:26.320 is in there that society has a lot of leverage 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.920 against you to tell you that there's something wrong with you. 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.800 But it's doctor's opinions, right, It's not like they took 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:34.440 polls from society. Right. No, But I mean, like that's 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.000 that's based on a lot, it's not not all of 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:40.840 it's based on empirical evidence. It's basically saying, like, like, 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.840 you act this way in society thinks there's something wrong 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:49.480 with you. That's mental illness. Uh So we mentioned is 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:53.400 not like celibacy, because that is a choice to remain uh, 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:57.640 sexually inactive. Morrisey battles that every day. I'm sure he does. 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.040 I mean, look at him. He dresses sexy. Oh, Morrissey's 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:02.680 a sexy guy. I look at him. So he's a 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:06.360 pop star, right, don't have anyone he wants on either side, 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:11.040 but he chooses not to. That's right. Is he still 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.200 I think he is? Isn't he? Oh? I think he's 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:17.760 like lifetime celibate. Yeah. Yeah, but you never know. That's 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.720 I mean, I don't know Morrissey personally. You never told me. 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:22.840 But I mean this is just from being a fan, 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:25.120 this is why. Yeah. Yeah, And he's come out very 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:27.560 hard lineed, you know, for his celibacy, so it's not 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:30.400 like he's been a secret or anything like that. I 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:33.240 don't know. Well, in the same it's like Tim Tebow, 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:36.440 all of them, and we'll mention this even more. But 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.960 the uh, it's the same with a sexuals. They the 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:45.280 what is it, one percent roughly of the population in 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.320 these samples. In these samples, it was one point five 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:50.600 in this big survey. So there's this is all very 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.800 very very new, like thinking about it. That Ram study 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.000 was from two thousand two, right in two thousand four, 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.319 that Ram study I think piqued somebody's interest enough to 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.560 start looking into this. So it's real new, like this 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.319 is the twenty one century sexual orientation and people are 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:09.760 at least people who study it are just now starting 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:11.720 to look into it. Well, I've already figured out how 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:15.000 to discriminate again. Anthony Bogert bo Garrett, I don't know 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:19.280 how you say it. We'll just say Bogert, Uh, he 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:22.800 is the one in two thousand four. He's a psychologist 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.800 at Brock University in Canada. I don't think they have 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:28.240 any kind of a football team and Brock University Brock. 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:32.040 We're probably wrong though, but um he is the one 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:35.480 who did uh publish a journal in Journal of Sex 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:39.520 Research in August of two thousand four that you know, 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:40.760 one of the first people to do a lot of 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:44.880 studying on this in recent times. He examined data from 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:49.520 a survey in the UK UH from n and basically 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:54.920 out of the nineteen thousand sample size, which isn't too bad, no, 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:59.040 it's huge, Yeah, he found one point five said I 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:03.040 have never never ever felt sexual attraction to anyone at all. 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:05.440 And that wasn't like part of that was it was 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.679 a huge survey with of a huge sample of a 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.480 bunch of questions and that was just one of the 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:16.400 one group with lumped into a little data set based 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.400 on that response. And this guy went back and found 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:21.400 that and they really started to look at it well. 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:23.440 And he's the first one in two thousand six to say, 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:27.160 you know what, this is a sexual orientation and that's 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:31.000 how it should be treated. And a sexuals were you know, 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:33.000 they're they're proud to be who they are. I mean, 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.440 the ones that come out in the support groups at 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:37.440 least I'm sure, there's a lot more that, you know, 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.160 wrestle with it, and they're quiet about it. But at 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:45.080 least with the what is it, the a v ETON. Yeah, 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:50.200 that a Sexuality Visibility and Education Network. They're all all 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:53.719 about being proud to call it a sexual orientation, like 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.920 we don't need to be treated for any kind of dysfunction. Yeah, 0:10:57.080 --> 0:11:01.400 leave us alone. We're happy with the basically how we're born. 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:03.920 The thing is is like, leave us alone. It's not 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:07.800 just that, it's also take us seriously. Yeah, because there's 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:10.640 there's a lot of accusations that are leveled against them, 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.600 like you know, you guys are all victims of trauma, 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.480 so you know that's probably what it is, or you're 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:21.680 being willful or you know, and to not be taken 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:24.920 seriously as a human being, that's a big deal. Uh. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.480 David J. Would agree with that. Not to be confused 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.480 with David J. From bau House. No, and there's another 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:34.079 David J. Too. Yeah, I think it was some other 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.440 kind of writer, unless about House guys a writer. Now, 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.240 David J. From the House just goes by David capital 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:44.520 J period saying that this is David J. A y 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.160 J a y founder of the A d e n 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:51.560 And there's a site a sexuality dot org that he 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:53.960 founded in two thousand one where you can find out 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.920 all kinds of information and get support if you uh 0:11:57.080 --> 0:12:00.080 find yourself in this one point five percent. And and 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.000 he made a lot of news because you know, he's 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:06.280 a young, handsome dude, and everybody's like, why don't you 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:09.360 want to do it with anybody exactly? And he's just like, 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:13.760 because my orientation is a sexual and start wrapping your 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:16.400 heads around that. People. I think Matt Lauer actually like 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.080 poked him in the stomach like, ma'am, what's going on 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:23.360 during an interview Videoally now, okay, But there is a 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:25.720 range of you know, not a sexuals are the same. 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.800 Um Kristen points out that some are virgins, some are 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:32.680 not um and it's not even just necessarily from a 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.080 past experience before they kind of figured out where they were. 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:39.720 Some still have sex to satisfy their partner, only to 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.040 satisfy their partner. And if you like want to get 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:46.439 a first person, firsthand view of, you know, what it's 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:50.320 like to be a sexual in a very hyper sexual world. 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:55.720 They have a lot of essays and UM tips and 0:12:55.800 --> 0:13:00.000 guides for interacting with a sexual people, I'm sure. Um. 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:01.880 And one of them that I read was like having 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:04.760 sex with an a sexual person, and like, how you 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:08.440 get to that point? Yeah, I mean it's not, it's 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:12.640 like that's a a gift, as I understand it. Yeah, 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:15.760 like that means they that person really cares about you 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.199 because they are not into this since really at all, 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:23.120 or if if they are into it, it's not it's sexual, 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:26.120 it's romantic, right. Well, And that's the other point Conger 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.600 goes on to make, like some are virgins, some are not, 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:34.000 Some masturbate, some do not, Some pursue romantic, long term, 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:38.520 committed relationships, and some don't pursue that like anything beyond 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:41.520 platonic relationships. So it kind of runs the gamut on 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.840 how they choose to integrate and live their life or 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.199 not integrate and just still live their life, which I 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:52.400 guess is still integration. Uh you're thinking of that rough 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:55.839 song pretty well, okay, Um, And I think we should 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:59.440 also say chuck, like there's even while we're trying not 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.880 to pidge whole anyone, we're still managing to still I'm 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:06.120 sure like leave some people out, like there's this is 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:09.160 a it's a very broad swath of people, and that 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.080 was a good point to say, like a lot of 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:15.200 different ways to live as an a sexual person, we 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.079 haven't figured them all out, just as there are a 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.440 lot of ways to live as a sexual person exactly exactly. 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:25.840 The tie that binds a sexual a sexually oriented people 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:34.119 is that they literally don't feel sexual arousal or sexual attraction. 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:39.360 That's just not part of it. And this Indiana University study, 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:43.320 you didn't talk about that, right, So these researchers set 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:47.280 down to Indiana University with four self identified um A 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:51.520 sexuals and basically said, tell us about it, you know, 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:56.920 and most of them, I think, basically the the consensus 0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:00.640 was was that, um yeah, it's kind of tough, especially 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:05.320 when you're attracted romantically to people like you want to 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:09.000 have a relationship, but most people aren't a sexual. This 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.480 is one point five percent of that sample. So you're 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:14.480 gonna have to have there's gonna be some sort of 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.800 conflict or problems or no matter how understanding your partner is, 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.400 this is gonna be tough. Sure, not just for you, 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:23.120 but for them. Um So they said that that's tough, 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:25.280 But on the flip side, you have a lot more 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:29.040 free time and your chances of getting an STD or 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:32.280 an unwanted pregnancy or like virtually nil. Well I kind 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.200 of laughed at the free time thing, like you know, 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:38.000 how many hours a day or people spending having sex. 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:42.640 But if you totally are devoid of sex, that means, 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.320 as a single person, you're not spending any time going 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.480 looking for it or you're not doing people. So a 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:52.480 lot of time theoretically goes into people you know, out 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.000 there trying to hook up. You know what I'm saying exactly, 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:57.440 Like there's if you step back and think about it, 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:02.040 especially especially if you're like single person. Yeah, like there's 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.160 a lot of time and energy that goes into all 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:09.120 that goes into getting to the sexual act. Right, It's 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:12.000 not just the time that you spend remember those days. 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:13.840 It was a long time ago. I don't remember what 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:15.960 that's like, But the point is, like, that's a lot 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.200 of time and energy, and like, what else could you 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.400 have done with that? Often spent my time doing other things. 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:25.000 Actually I was never that guy, yeah, cruising the bars, 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:26.800 you know. I was always just hanging out with my friends, 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:33.280 which probably explains a lot. Uh So interestingly in these 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:38.960 polls as well, um women make up generally across two 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:43.560 different polls. They both made up seventy five I'm sorry 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:48.480 of the population of a sexual individuals. Yeah, that British 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:52.080 survey of the households. And then later um, the an 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.400 Avan pole that just last year. No, that was two 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.960 eight that was and then it went down. The ratio 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.560 of men to women changed in the last year's pole 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:06.760 it went to like women. And then but the other 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.960 thirty three percent wasn't all men? A lot of them 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:18.560 identify themselves as a gender neutral? Yeah, that's a lot. 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.919 So this suddenly now you have a subset of a 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:26.480 subset of as far as sexual orientation goes. Um. And 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:30.360 I was reading on Avan today about how to use 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:35.040 Remember when we did our Executive order UM podcast, the 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:39.960 Flawless one on Executive Orders, UM. They we were trying 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:43.200 to figure out what you would call a gender neutral president. 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:47.600 It's not out there. No one has any idea. Like 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.760 even people who are gender neutral don't really know. There's 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:53.560 not a standard way to address somebody like that with 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:58.040 a gender neutral pronoun So we gotta figure that one out. Well, 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.280 somebody smarter than us and more sensitive than us should 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:04.480 do that. So the A V E. N Has grown 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:08.720 since two thousand one, from nineteen thousand to thirty thousand members, 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:10.879 which is pretty great. These people are getting some pretty 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:17.560 good community support. Um they Conger points out that disinterest 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:23.280 in sex is usually regarded as a symptom, a problematic symptom, 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:25.680 rather than like a sexual identity. So that's the battle 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:29.159 they're kind of facing now is again, don't treat us. 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.040 We don't need We're not dysfunctional, like we were born 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:36.080 this way. The guy uh that founded the network uh 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:39.280 said that, you know, I remember being a kid and 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:42.199 once people started talking about like hot movie stars, I 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.240 was just like, what, Like, I don't get it, what 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.240 does that mean? And you know, from a very young age, 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:51.400 are you making humping motions in the air? Little kids 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:54.520 are dirty? Kids are so healthy, dirty. I don't even 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:58.040 know they're innocent. You know what's going on, what's going 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:01.760 on with my hips? Yeah, it's all very sweet. They're 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.920 just trying to figure it all out, you know, poor kids. 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:11.119 And then comes the hair spray. So um. The we 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:15.920 we mentioned the the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders, there 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:20.000 are two disorders that look like they could cover this 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:24.320 as far as sexuality goes, and one of them is 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.440 s a D sexual aversion disorder, and the other is 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:31.480 hypoactive sexual desire disorder. You can throw out s a 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:35.640 D because that's an actual phobia of sex. Yeah, it's 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:39.119 like you you get real anxiety from that, even the 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:43.200 idea of having sex. Right, that's not what a sexuality is. No, 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:45.520 it's not, So go ahead and toss that out. H 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:49.280 s d D is a little closer because it's described 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:53.880 as persistently or currently deficient or absence of sexual fantasies 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:58.920 and desire for sexual activity. The difference there, though, is UM, 0:19:59.000 --> 0:20:02.400 as Congress calls it critical footnote, Uh, it must be 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:07.400 UM inciting marked distress or interpersonal difficulty, which I'm sure 0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:10.400 can happen. Happen. But a sexual is also a lot 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:12.240 of more saying you know what, I'm fine. Well, that's 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:14.520 part of what avan is all about, is kind of 0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:18.040 like accepting and celebrating and saying like, dude, you're okay. 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:20.600 You don't have to I don't have to feel bad 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:24.440 about this is it's just who you are. Um. So yeah, 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:28.320 that last little that last one, what is it HSD D. 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.920 That's I feel so bad because it's like, okay, guys 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:35.640 are starting to make their way through the civil rights 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:40.080 discrimination road, and they're you know, starting to come out 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:43.240 on the other end. And okay, who who else is 0:20:43.280 --> 0:20:45.800 there discriminated against? We're almost out of people. Who can 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:48.480 we go to next? Oh good, here's a group called 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:51.159 a sexuals and here they come. So let's run them 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:54.040 through the pike because that's what's about to happen. It 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:57.640 looks like, well, I could see them being more accepted about, 0:20:57.680 --> 0:21:00.600 you know, the people that don't accept homosexuality. I could 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:03.240 see them being more lenient with asexuality, yes, because it 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.479 doesn't threaten anything in their life. You know. I agree, 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:09.560 it's tough to discriminate against somebody based on the lack 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:14.440 of sexuality. It's more like, you know, taking it seriously 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:18.639 and treating it not as a mental illness. Does are does? Are? 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:21.159 You know? That's got to be big because think about it, 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.520 like like the whole Chick fil A thing that's going on, right, 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:28.479 So let's say that. Um still, to this day, uh, 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:34.359 the field of psychology considered homosexuality a mental illness. Now 0:21:34.600 --> 0:21:37.280 consider you know, those donations, what they're going to Are 0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:39.640 they going like to discriminate? Are they going to treat 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:43.480 mental illness. That's that's a big deal to be in there. 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:46.680 It's a lot of power that little book wields totally, 0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:50.199 and if for no other reason than just respect and 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:52.879 self respect, like you're talking about. I mean, what's our motto, 0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:56.000 chuck live and let live. That's one of them to 0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:58.000 each his own. That's right, that's kind of the same thing. 0:21:59.480 --> 0:22:02.000 Uh So they have petition the board though to have 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:04.959 that removed, much like they did in nineteen seventy three 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:07.879 with homosexuality. So we'll see what happens there. Do you 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:12.440 think the DSM five maybe how often does it published, 0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:16.680 you know, like seventy three to eighty six, because we're 0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:18.760 in between. Yeah, so when you're in there, it's it's 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:21.760 a big deal. I wonder if it's a set republished 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:24.119 or if it's every time they need to like have 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:27.520 some changes stacked that they really different editions of different 0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:31.120 versions like um, that makes sense, revised ones. But like 0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:34.040 it's a it's I mean, they've been working on this 0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:38.400 for years and so much controversy around it because it's 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:42.320 saying here's what's here's what's normal hot off the press. 0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:44.440 On one hand, it's like it's great to be able 0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:46.600 to diagnose people with problems. But the other hand, there's 0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:49.320 something about just taking a book and seeing, like, let's 0:22:49.320 --> 0:22:52.560 see what you are. Let me look it up. It's 0:22:52.600 --> 0:22:55.080 kind of like I'm a person. Well it's it's there's 0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:57.600 a checklist. It's like, if this person, here's the set 0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:01.960 of symptoms we say are associated with this disease based 0:23:01.960 --> 0:23:05.560 on probably a lot of study, and if they have 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:09.399 eight of twenty, then there that they're that thing. They had, 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:14.480 that mental illness down the list. So there are some 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:20.040 supposed notable a sexuals throughout history. Yeah. I found a 0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:24.760 few lists that were pretty hanky Nicola Tesla, and one 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:28.639 of them had like fictional characters. They're like Dexter Texture 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:32.480 not a sexual. Yeah, no, he's not he at all. 0:23:33.240 --> 0:23:36.320 He's weird. He's a serial killer. But he had like 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:41.880