Speaker 1: So there's an adderall shortage right now. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you're aware.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I can't get my medicine, and that's why.
Speaker 2: Needs her pills.
Speaker 1: Mommy needs her pills. And that's why the topics are
Speaker 1: topicking right now.
Speaker 2: She's sheen a.
Speaker 3: Me, no ma, not may yo yo?
Speaker 4: What is your child?
Speaker 5: I am a chuk.
Speaker 3: You what's going down? Before round?
Speaker 2: This coffee is disgusting.
Speaker 1: Well, we're trying to okay, maybe we won't name the
Speaker 1: coffee shop.
Speaker 2: No, it's textbook book cafe in a green. I can
Speaker 2: also see your oat milk separating and these they're not
Speaker 2: doing oatly.
Speaker 6: They're probably doing oat planet.
Speaker 1: Oat planet separates and so planet oah, yes, and so
Speaker 1: does silk and so and Shabani actually is very cool.
Speaker 6: Chabani is really bannid. The girls know it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was saying before maybe I would switch to getting
Speaker 2: lattes here, but now I'm thinking about that separating milk,
Speaker 2: but a whole coup of it with a little bit
Speaker 2: of espresso. Gotta go at least I put it on
Speaker 2: the company card and I about paying for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, while we're on the note of coffee, I just
Speaker 1: I have to say, I love a coffee shop with
Speaker 1: the rewards program.
Speaker 6: Okay, but not just a rewards program. I want a punch.
Speaker 2: Card, but then you have to carry a punch card.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised you're not siding with me on this because
Speaker 1: you're a traditionalist. You are, I am, but I hate
Speaker 1: carrying my wallet around with me. And actually I went
Speaker 1: to the movies recently at Regal Essex and waited in
Speaker 1: line for like ten minutes to at the concession stand
Speaker 1: and they handed me my popcorn and my drink. And
Speaker 1: when I went to pay, I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: going to tap. They were like, we we only to
Speaker 1: physical cards and I hadn't brought my wallet with me.
Speaker 2: Because where where can you not tap? In twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Three famously does not take Apple pay Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, this is a Regal Oh so yeah, oh wow,
Speaker 2: that's so. I was pissed. And I had to see
Speaker 2: him the movie without popcorn or a drink.
Speaker 6: There was no one like behind you in line. That
Speaker 6: was like, don't know.
Speaker 2: And I did stand there for a moment kind of
Speaker 2: like making eyes at the person behind the counter, sort
Speaker 2: of waiting for him to be like, worry about it.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about it. It's fine. He was like, okay,
Speaker 2: well sorry, I like we were in a stalemate and
Speaker 2: usually I win those.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say I actually wouldn't have. I
Speaker 1: was like engaging with a customer. I would never in
Speaker 1: a million year spe customer, let me take your popcorn away, Diva. Also,
Speaker 1: where's that popcorn gonna go back into the bin? No, no,
Speaker 1: it's gonna get thrown out. He should have just given
Speaker 1: it to me. Give me, give me my popcorn and
Speaker 1: my mountain dew. Because Regal is a pepsi cinema and
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to drink pepsi, so I got him
Speaker 1: mountain dew. Thank god, I had brought some candy with me,
Speaker 1: so it worked out. But anyway, welcome to Like a Virgin,
Speaker 1: the show where we give yesterday's pop culture today's takes
Speaker 1: Imra's Domina.
Speaker 6: And I'm fran Torado and we are not just coffee snobs.
Speaker 6: We also go to the Theata.
Speaker 1: And you have to know, speaking of non amc theaters, Rose,
Speaker 1: you went to a Regal, I'm going to the Alamo
Speaker 1: on Tuesday.
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I'm furious because the amount of times I've
Speaker 2: tried to get you to go to the Alamo and
Speaker 2: every time you've said no, Well, someone else is paying
Speaker 2: for it. Okay, that I'm going to go see Bottoms,
Speaker 2: which I think you've already seen. I have seen Bottoms.
Speaker 2: I saw it on Saturday, and I.
Speaker 1: Mean, can you give me like the non spoiler kind
Speaker 1: of review.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean for anyone who doesn't know. Bottoms
Speaker 2: is this new comedy starring Rachel Senate and Iowa Debris.
Speaker 2: It's directed by Emma Seligman, who also co wrote it
Speaker 2: with Rachel, and it's about these two horny loser lesbians
Speaker 2: in high school who decide that the way that they're
Speaker 2: going to get girls is to start an all girls
Speaker 2: fight club, which is a genius premise for a film.
Speaker 2: It was so good, it was so funny. It's like
Speaker 2: perfectly absurd in the way that a really good teen
Speaker 2: comedy should be. Like it's very jawbreaker, very Heather's a
Speaker 2: little mean girls, but meaner than mean girls, and it's
Speaker 2: so so gay.
Speaker 6: Is there an element of revenge in it?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm sold, Yes.
Speaker 2: Revenge and it is. It's a total fantasy, but it
Speaker 2: takes place kind of in you know, you know, we
Speaker 2: don't really know where their school is, but it seems
Speaker 2: to be in a town where no one is sort
Speaker 2: of like preoccupied by wokeness. But then at the same time,
Speaker 2: like these girls aren't facing like homophobic bullying, they're just losers.
Speaker 2: But also like there's more misogyny than there is homophobia,
Speaker 2: but it's sort of of like amped up to a
Speaker 2: cartoonish level. Yeah, absurd and the men. The one thing
Speaker 2: I appreciated was that even though the men like are
Speaker 2: very misogynistic, there's never any threat of sexual violence, just
Speaker 2: like love actual violence, actual violce, which I definitely prefer.
Speaker 1: I love actual violence as opposed to like other kinds
Speaker 1: of violence. I know that sounds crazy, but because it's
Speaker 1: at this absurdist or cartoonish level, it's like, Okay, we're
Speaker 1: not taking ourselves too seriously.
Speaker 6: Where if they were to kind of pivot and it
Speaker 6: were to be.
Speaker 1: A sexual violence kind of thing, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: they're trying to say something about the world, and it's like, Okay.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't want to think about that.
Speaker 1: They were all my like my animaniacs like cartoons.
Speaker 2: Again, Yes, everyone in the movie is so funny. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's really like Io kind of is the star's she.
Speaker 6: Is in three other movies or two other movies. She's
Speaker 6: gonna be Jesus star.
Speaker 2: Rachel's amazing. All of the girls in their little club
Speaker 2: are really great. Kaya Gerber super funny. The Prince from
Speaker 2: Red White and Royal Blue is like the main antagonist,
Speaker 2: and he's so funny. He's doing this sort of like
Speaker 2: toxic masculinity, but it's this very like femme toxic masculinity
Speaker 2: that it's like toxic masculinity that's sort of like so stupid.
Speaker 2: It's like he's he's like.
Speaker 1: Childlike an effeminate, like man baby villain.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's giving like almost guest on a little bit.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Oh and he's straight, right, he's straight. Yeah, but he
Speaker 1: acts gay.
Speaker 2: I mean he just acts.
Speaker 6: He's got those lips.
Speaker 2: He's like a baby. He's a big baby.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Okay, I love that.
Speaker 1: That honestly sounds way more interesting than whatever he did
Speaker 1: in Red White and World Blue.
Speaker 6: If you want to hear our, paywild discussion on patreon
Speaker 6: dot com.
Speaker 2: Slash like a Virgin, there's a couple of really good
Speaker 2: needle drops. Charlie XX did the music for it. It
Speaker 2: was just so much fun. I had such a great time.
Speaker 2: I saw it on Saturday night at the Alamo in
Speaker 2: a packed house and everyone was roaring with laughter cool
Speaker 2: including me. Bottoms is only playing in ten theaters in
Speaker 2: the US right now, so I know it's hard for
Speaker 2: people to see. But I told my sisters, who are
Speaker 2: twenty and they're both queer, that they had to see it,
Speaker 2: and they had already been planning to. And I'm just
Speaker 2: so happy that their generation has a teen movie like
Speaker 2: this that is so fucking gay.
Speaker 6: Wow. And you didn't even like BookSmart?
Speaker 1: Right, it kind of feels like almost Booksmarty, but just
Speaker 1: in terms of its audience demographic, not necessarily the film.
Speaker 2: It's I liked BookSmart. No, I like, oh you did, okay.
Speaker 2: I don't think BookSmart made as much of an impact
Speaker 2: on the culture as like people at the time kind
Speaker 2: of thought it was going to.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true, Like there was everyone was like, it's
Speaker 1: an Olivia Wilde Sonce and oh my god, there's going
Speaker 1: to be so many more like songs. Again, yes, I mean,
Speaker 1: but it was like her first movie that she directed,
Speaker 1: but she was an actress up until that point. I
Speaker 1: guess I don't know, I'm making fun of other people.
Speaker 1: I'm not like saying it was a zo on.
Speaker 2: No, I think it's it. People expected it to become
Speaker 2: an iconic teen movie, and I know that we're not
Speaker 2: that far out of it. But I just don't think
Speaker 2: it has embedded in the culture the way that I
Speaker 2: do think Bottoms will.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, I hope so too, because, like with the strike,
Speaker 1: like they haven't really been given a lot of films
Speaker 1: have been given these kind of like SAG like exceptions
Speaker 1: that they can promote the film. But most of those
Speaker 1: are documentaries, and apparently there are two A twenty four
Speaker 1: films as well.
Speaker 2: And also very small indie films. I have a friend
Speaker 2: who's in one of them.
Speaker 1: I also have friends that are doing two different well
Speaker 1: if actually, honestly, I'll plug them now, but that's.
Speaker 2: That's my friend is Oh okay, Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also Cocomo City are movies that are like extremely
Speaker 1: worth finding screenings for if you can, because they've been
Speaker 1: given the SAG exception.
Speaker 2: Yes, it was kind of crazy to see Bottoms knowing
Speaker 2: that in a normal meatia landscape, this is the kind
Speaker 2: of movie where every person who is in it would
Speaker 2: jump up one fame level because of how good the
Speaker 2: movie is and how big it would be. And I
Speaker 2: think it will still happen for some of the people
Speaker 2: in that, Like they're all definitely gonna get more jobs
Speaker 2: from this, Like definitely the leads, Definitely the director. I
Speaker 2: feel like she'll have her next project after this. I
Speaker 2: feel like will be a bigger movie. But you know,
Speaker 2: like none of them can promote it, and it's I
Speaker 2: think if if they could, this movie would be everywhere
Speaker 2: right now in a way that it's not going to be.
Speaker 2: But it's still doing really well despite that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Io and Rachel are already like they've
Speaker 1: already been kind of like the girls to Book in
Speaker 1: the last year in some way, And so I kind
Speaker 1: of agree with you. Yeah, Like I'm I want I
Speaker 1: wish they could promote it. I want more for them.
Speaker 1: But once it goes to streaming, I'm sure it'll have
Speaker 1: like an other huge moment.
Speaker 2: We got to get it to streaming quick because people
Speaker 2: just can't see it like right now.
Speaker 6: So do you know what I watched last night?
Speaker 2: What I watched The Flash?
Speaker 6: Oh, friends, I told you I was gonna see it.
Speaker 6: Look flipped We flipped it on we.
Speaker 1: Were like, oh, this is available on Max, Now why
Speaker 1: don't we watch it? Asra Miller's in it? Non binary
Speaker 1: something something. This was supposed to reset the DC cinematic universe.
Speaker 2: None of those words are in the Bible.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't need to talk about it in
Speaker 1: depth because you haven't seen it, Slash, you're never going
Speaker 1: to see it, never, never see I thought at one
Speaker 1: point you were maybe thinking about it.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about it when I was bored and
Speaker 2: it was in theaters. But now that I would have
Speaker 2: to commit to sitting and watching it on TV, no.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, so the thing for me is like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm going to talk less about the actual movie and
Speaker 1: more just about what's surrounding it because you know more about.
Speaker 2: That too, and like, but was the movie good?
Speaker 1: So top line, I would say the first two thirds
Speaker 1: of the movie are actually genuinely lovely. I think that
Speaker 1: there are some effects that are very bad. It feels
Speaker 1: sometimes like when I was watching the movie, like they
Speaker 1: realized that it was going to bomb and they decided
Speaker 1: to like not finish the visual effects.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: Interesting, there's a really huge like action sequence at the
Speaker 1: beginning where the visual like it's this do you want
Speaker 1: me to just tell you what happens. There's basically there's
Speaker 1: a building on fire and it's like a hospital, and
Speaker 1: like the building kind of collapses and tons of babies
Speaker 1: fall out.
Speaker 2: Of the Oh, I've seen the thing with the baby.
Speaker 1: Yes, with the microwaves. Yes, and he saves all of
Speaker 1: these babies. And yes, it is a he hymn the Flash,
Speaker 1: like Barry is a he hymn M. And he's also
Speaker 1: let you know, oh yeah, okay, yeah, just some things
Speaker 1: that I noticed. Yeah, Ezra Miller is not LATINX. They
Speaker 1: are Dutch and French and Irish or something like that.
Speaker 1: But Barry is Argentinian, which is cool. And the whole
Speaker 1: plot revolves around his mother. You And if you already
Speaker 1: saw the baby shower clip, that was like one of
Speaker 1: the moments where I was like, this is like genuinely
Speaker 1: like kind of fun but like the effects are so
Speaker 1: distracting and I can't actually like see this scene. But
Speaker 1: Ezra himself was actually amazing, and I was like, you
Speaker 1: are genuinely funny, engaging, like you're hitting every single joke.
Speaker 1: The characterization of Barry as a Flash, to me is
Speaker 1: trying to fulfill what Spider Man does for Marvel, where
Speaker 1: it's this entry point of a teen they're like in
Speaker 1: every everyday kind of kid, kind of a loser, like
Speaker 1: has a fast metabolism, like always eating, And there was
Speaker 1: something genuinely exciting about that addition to DC in a
Speaker 1: world where it's just like Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, these
Speaker 1: like huge heavy hitters and no kind of like on
Speaker 1: the street yeah level hero apprentice apprentice level heroes kind of.
Speaker 1: And there hasn't been like a flash movie has technically
Speaker 1: been in the work since the eighties, and this reboot,
Speaker 1: like I think was only picked up again in like
Speaker 1: twenty fourteen, so it's been like eons of like blabored
Speaker 1: development over this film that had many directors and then
Speaker 1: on top of that Azra Miller drama, which we don't
Speaker 1: need to summarize for you, but like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. I have like more to say about
Speaker 1: the film. For the most part, it's like the last
Speaker 1: third was really bad, and the multiverse of it all
Speaker 1: is like really derivative of like everything we just saw
Speaker 1: in Spider Man No Way Home. So like for me,
Speaker 1: it was just kind of a flop, even if Ezra
Speaker 1: Miller was genuinely lovely.
Speaker 6: Michael Keaton was very fun.
Speaker 1: I think the cameo so if you don't know that,
Speaker 1: it's already been talked about all over press. So Michael
Speaker 1: Keaton came back to reprit his role as Batman, which
Speaker 1: is a very very genius idea if they didn't already
Speaker 1: do it in Spider By No Way Home like a
Speaker 1: year ago.
Speaker 6: So it's like just derivative.
Speaker 1: It's just it's so so un it was so uninspired
Speaker 1: to me that I had a hard time enjoying it.
Speaker 6: But he was loved. He was amazing.
Speaker 1: And the characterization of old Batman that Michael Keaton and
Speaker 1: stated alongside Ben Affleck as Batman, who was also in
Speaker 1: the movie, because there are multiple Batman's and multiple flashes
Speaker 1: of course, as well as a cgi back from the
Speaker 1: dead Adam West Batman, Nick Cage as Batman, like all
Speaker 1: of these old movie Batman's coming back.
Speaker 6: Very weird. George Clooney, George Clooney came back.
Speaker 2: He had nipples.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I wish.
Speaker 6: But yeah no.
Speaker 1: It was just so it was like girls like this
Speaker 1: is so monkey Sea Monkey do like do you not
Speaker 1: have any can you come up.
Speaker 2: With something else, with something else.
Speaker 1: Oh, I forgot to say, Michael Keaton was or pre
Speaker 1: maybe you'd be interested. This was repreasing a version of
Speaker 1: Old Batman, like they call him Old Batman, and it's
Speaker 1: this version in the comics of Batman that comes to
Speaker 1: help Flash solve a kind of time travel dilemma. Okay,
Speaker 1: and I thought that was like in the lore. I
Speaker 1: thought that was really cool. But overall, the movie was
Speaker 1: totally fine. I think it's recommended. I would actually recommend
Speaker 1: you stream it because I think it's genuinely fun. And
Speaker 1: I also think I came away from the movie unsurprised
Speaker 1: by the lack of quality and the derivative nature of it,
Speaker 1: but completely surprised by what was a very strong performance
Speaker 1: by Ezra Miller and a wonderful contribution to the DC
Speaker 1: cinematic universe. The Flash, to me is ten times more
Speaker 1: interesting than Superman or Wonder Woman. And I am really
Speaker 1: bummed that Ezra sucks so much that.
Speaker 6: The movie kind of tanked.
Speaker 1: I mean, the movie tank for a lot of reasons,
Speaker 1: but I think Ezra's controversies were the primary reason that
Speaker 1: the movie tanked, right.
Speaker 2: I think it's a mix of that and just superhero
Speaker 2: fatigue in general.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, I mean the movie is not like amazing,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not gonna cry home about it, but I
Speaker 1: do I think that Ezra Miller's performance was worthy of valuation.
Speaker 6: And I think that the Flash as a character is great.
Speaker 6: It was is a cool character. So yeah, I'm kind
Speaker 6: of bummed that it didn't work out.
Speaker 1: For Warner Poor Warner poor, but it was it was
Speaker 1: diabolically I know, poor WarnerMedia.
Speaker 6: WarnerMedia.
Speaker 1: I mean, they had their big it was one of
Speaker 1: their biggest flops of all time.
Speaker 6: They lost two hundred million.
Speaker 1: Love to see that, Yeah, I do love to see that. Actually,
Speaker 1: So thank you Ezra Miller.
Speaker 2: If that's if those are all of your thoughts on
Speaker 2: the Flash.
Speaker 6: Those are all my thoughts.
Speaker 1: Ezra Miller is queering the entertainment industry by way of
Speaker 1: making the movie flop.
Speaker 2: I know that we want to talk about Ronie, but
Speaker 2: I do want to make a brief pit stop and
Speaker 2: share then I am a gamer now.
Speaker 1: Information that I know. But I'm a shock that you
Speaker 1: want to share with a version I am a gamer.
Speaker 1: Well let's not say that.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, after this week, no girl, I
Speaker 2: am I am gaming you'll lose.
Speaker 1: For like Mark my words, rosewall is interested for hours
Speaker 1: a day.
Speaker 2: I so, I, you know, am in the middle of
Speaker 2: a little little depressive episode, and I thought that, you know,
Speaker 2: distracting myself with video games might be a good way
Speaker 2: to deal with that. In my therapist agreed, so I
Speaker 2: bought a Nintendo Switch. I originally tried playing Stardo Valley
Speaker 2: because I thought maybe something sort of like cozy low
Speaker 2: Stakes would be the way to go. I got bored
Speaker 2: within I mean three minutes.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll play Stardu Valley for you.
Speaker 2: And then I also bought When I bought my switch,
Speaker 2: I bought the Witcher three The Wild Hunt because I
Speaker 2: love the Witcher show and I figured, like a sort
Speaker 2: of RPG like Swords and Sorcery, more quest driven game
Speaker 2: would like very narrative driven, would be good for me.
Speaker 2: And honey Out was right because the first night I
Speaker 2: played it, I played it for five hours. I forgot
Speaker 2: to eat dinner. And then I woke up the next
Speaker 2: morning and the first thing I did was like, oh fuck,
Speaker 2: I got to kill that griffin. And I pulled my
Speaker 2: switch and I was and I just went down. This
Speaker 2: makes me so happy, and like the other. And it's
Speaker 2: the great thing about it is that while I'm playing,
Speaker 2: I don't think about anything. All I'm thinking about is
Speaker 2: what I have to do. I'm like, fuck, I have
Speaker 2: to find that goat so that that guy will conjure
Speaker 2: up a spirit, so that I can find those two
Speaker 2: missing women, so that I can get the information from
Speaker 2: the baron, so that I can find my adoptive daughter
Speaker 2: and slay all these monsters.
Speaker 6: How far are you?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not that far, okay, but I watch, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm only playing it. I did get I did
Speaker 2: get the OLED switch so I can play on my TV.
Speaker 2: But I've only been playing on the console, and I've
Speaker 2: been trying to limit myself to just a couple hours
Speaker 2: a day because the time warps yeah so quickly.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: And I haven't started bringing it anywhere, Like, I haven't
Speaker 2: brought it on the bus or anything. I'm only playing
Speaker 2: it at home. But I'm obsessed, and I think this
Speaker 2: is my new era for now. We'll see. Like, but
Speaker 2: I do feel you're right in that I think another
Speaker 2: version of me would have gotten bored or like as
Speaker 2: soon as I came up against like the first challenge
Speaker 2: that I couldn't beat. I would have just been like, ugh,
Speaker 2: I'm done, but not now, like I'm stuck on this
Speaker 2: fight right now where I have to kill this miscarried
Speaker 2: baby who turned into a monster, and then is like
Speaker 2: summoning these ghouls and I'm like, I can't. I can't
Speaker 2: be the level. Like I've done it like ten times
Speaker 2: in the past twenty four hours, and usually I would
Speaker 2: just like walk away, or I would like find a
Speaker 2: cheat code or something. Honey, I am killing that baby.
Speaker 2: If it's the last thing I do.
Speaker 6: Do you need help?
Speaker 2: Maybe I should try to kill a baby. I'm it's
Speaker 2: gotta be me, It's got to be I'm the Witcher.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you are the Witcher. I am the Witcher. Oh
Speaker 6: my god. Wait, I'm so happy for your gaming, your
Speaker 6: gaming journey.
Speaker 1: You're officially a gamer, and you're gonna have to play
Speaker 1: either Mario Kart or the Legend of Zelda game with me.
Speaker 2: I want to get Mario Kart and you can come
Speaker 2: over and play Mario Kart. I am gonna play Zelda game.
Speaker 2: But I think people have been telling me to do
Speaker 2: Breath of the Wild rather than Tears of the Kingdom,
Speaker 2: and then Hogwarts Legacy comes out for the switch in November. Plea,
Speaker 2: please pleaseleepe And I'm not saying that I'm gonna play it,
Speaker 2: but I'm definitely interested. Wink wink. Do we want to
Speaker 2: talk about Ronie here or do we want to do
Speaker 2: it for Patreon?
Speaker 6: Let's do it for Patreon.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, virgins, we went over time today, so we
Speaker 1: will be migrating the Real Housewives of New York conversation
Speaker 1: over to our patreon. If you want to get a
Speaker 1: taste of that, you can go on over to patreon
Speaker 1: dot com slash like a Virgin.
Speaker 2: I keep seeing people, you know, filling up their backpacks
Speaker 2: getting ready to go back to school. That's not true.
Speaker 2: I don't know anyone who's still in school, but I
Speaker 2: know that it's back to school season. Every time I
Speaker 2: go to Target, there's like some sign for like kids
Speaker 2: to buy backpacks or whatever. So it is the perfect
Speaker 2: time to have a discussion with Greta titleman, incredible comedian, actress,
Speaker 2: extraordince Jordanaire. And when we asked her what she wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about, her response was.
Speaker 6: Gel pens, gel pens.
Speaker 1: And I think it made a lot of sense because
Speaker 1: she herself has a podcast that's kind of about elementary
Speaker 1: school high school trauma.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, who knows what what regreta is gonna
Speaker 2: have to say about gel pens. But you know, break
Speaker 2: out your you know, bick purple, sparkly gel.
Speaker 6: Pen or whatever, your G two seven.
Speaker 2: Get ready to dot your eyes with little hearts and yeah,
Speaker 2: it's back to school time.
Speaker 4: Think about gel pens first starters. They're a status symbol. Okay,
Speaker 4: Like if you have gel pens, if you have a
Speaker 4: complete pack of gel pens in your trapper keeper, that's
Speaker 4: like the full set, every color, intact, you have your
Speaker 4: shit together, you are an elite student. And that was
Speaker 4: never me, Like, that was never ever me. I had
Speaker 4: a pack of gel pens. But see the reason why
Speaker 4: I wanted to talk about them today is I have
Speaker 4: gelpen envy. I'm a lefty, so like the gel pen
Speaker 4: is kind of my biggest it's kind of my biggest challenge,
Speaker 4: one might say, in the world of pen because it
Speaker 4: just is gloopy, gloppy all over the page when I
Speaker 4: write with it.
Speaker 2: You know, So what I'm hearing is gel pens are
Speaker 2: what introduced you to the idea of class consciousness, right,
Speaker 2: And also gel pens are ablest.
Speaker 1: Ablest, got it, got it, got it, got it? Okay, okay, okay, Well,
Speaker 1: now we've said that, we have we have said that,
Speaker 1: we have said we have said that, and people are
Speaker 1: saying that.
Speaker 6: Well, I don't. I don't want to speak on your experience.
Speaker 6: I want it to be your own.
Speaker 1: But because I am a rightie and I I feel
Speaker 1: like I love pen culture and have always loved pen culture,
Speaker 1: I'm like pretty dedicated to the G two O seven
Speaker 1: in like brown or blue?
Speaker 2: Was that? I mean you say that like we're supposed
Speaker 2: to know what that means?
Speaker 4: Can you explaind G two O seven I believe?
Speaker 3: Is that a big pen?
Speaker 1: No, it is a pot it's a pilot pilot pen. Oh,
Speaker 1: I know her, and I know seven is the thickness
Speaker 1: because the point two and the point five are like
Speaker 1: to thin.
Speaker 6: The point seven is right where you need it.
Speaker 4: So I'm addicted to the point fives.
Speaker 6: Oh say that always that?
Speaker 1: Okay, we're getting a little we're getting a little, a
Speaker 1: little TikTok here.
Speaker 4: It's good for me because of my left handedness. And
Speaker 4: then okay, really I obviously love a pen.
Speaker 6: Pen. Wait what brand is that?
Speaker 3: I've never heard it's honey, but it's made in Japan.
Speaker 2: Okay. Interesting. So wait, so has being left handed been
Speaker 2: a challenge for you?
Speaker 3: Well, here's the deal.
Speaker 4: Let me just show you some pens that are absolute
Speaker 4: no goes for me. This medium z grip, whatever the
Speaker 4: fuck brand, this is the demonics, okay, because what it's
Speaker 4: first of all, trying to force me into a hand
Speaker 4: structure that, honey, it's that's not what my hand does.
Speaker 2: Okay, So do you just keep it on hand to
Speaker 2: torture yourself with.
Speaker 4: I fucked up and I just grabbed a pen willy
Speaker 4: nilly from my partner husband's.
Speaker 6: Penjar oh betrayal.
Speaker 4: And this is what I grabbed, and I immediately started
Speaker 4: writing with it, and I went yucky, yuck.
Speaker 3: I just it's it's thick.
Speaker 4: And it's bad, and it wants it wants me to
Speaker 4: get the sentence all over my hand, you know. So then,
Speaker 4: of course, in elementary school, I always wanted.
Speaker 3: To be bubble letter girly.
Speaker 4: I always wanted to be pretty handwriting girly.
Speaker 3: I wanted to.
Speaker 4: Be cursive, gorgeousity beautiful. But kirstp also kind of fucked
Speaker 4: me because I just dragged it across the page, and
Speaker 4: it was all blurred, so I had to correct and
Speaker 4: now I write in all caps.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, that is a choice.
Speaker 6: Do you all like exclusively?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Like, I will show you a page of my journal.
Speaker 3: It looks like I'm screaming.
Speaker 2: Okay, and we're going to screenshot so that we can
Speaker 2: see God.
Speaker 4: Like, I hope it all works out for me today.
Speaker 2: Your journal, looking at it is very loud. I really
Speaker 2: like that you write in all caps. I write and
Speaker 2: all you know, you know the s that kind of
Speaker 2: looks like a like a sword, you know what I'm
Speaker 2: talking about. That that's how I write. That's Wait, this
Speaker 2: s every every letter I found a way.
Speaker 3: Are we talking about this famous doodle s?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Of course this s. Wait, we're gonna have to screenshot
Speaker 1: that at some point. Yeah, okay. I I also was like,
Speaker 1: like hearts dotting my eyes kind of like a girly penmanship.
Speaker 2: I you were a fag.
Speaker 6: Yes, I was a fag.
Speaker 1: The girls are not being taught cursive anymore, right, is
Speaker 1: that has been eradicated.
Speaker 6: I think it's been eradicated.
Speaker 2: And I said, don't say gay, don't write Yes the.
Speaker 1: Gate way, that's what I'm So they're not wrong handwriting. Yes,
Speaker 1: cursive is gay handwriting.
Speaker 6: It is groomed.
Speaker 1: It is like the grooming of handwriting. And I and
Speaker 1: I feel like, Okay, this is what we need to talk.
Speaker 2: We've got to stop talking about this podcast that they're
Speaker 2: gonna they're gonna find it once.
Speaker 1: One day someone is actually going to listen to this
Speaker 1: podcast and it will be clipped out and put on
Speaker 1: pink news dot com.
Speaker 2: Yeah news is not who we need to worry about.
Speaker 6: But yeah, no, Okay.
Speaker 1: So I was like on the cusp of like handwriting
Speaker 1: still being taught in schools, but we were taught like
Speaker 1: normal writing first. And I really envy your architectural handwriting style, Greta,
Speaker 1: because like I my handwriting is like very fucked up
Speaker 1: now because it's like half cursive, half normal and I
Speaker 1: do upper case letters in the middle of words.
Speaker 6: I love that because yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's just like how I don't know how my brain,
Speaker 1: I honestly should turn like my very bizarre, very murdery
Speaker 1: handwriting into like a typeface or something, because that makes
Speaker 1: no sense. It's like, why are the a's capital here
Speaker 1: but they're not capital here? Like what are the SA's doing?
Speaker 1: Why do you still do the cursive R, even though
Speaker 1: the cursive R is the worst cursive letter in the
Speaker 1: cursive alphabet.
Speaker 2: So you've got some chicken scratch tendencies. I do as well.
Speaker 2: I also have some handwriting related trauma because I grew
Speaker 2: up not holding my pen right way. I so I
Speaker 2: hold it between these two fingers and instead of you
Speaker 2: know the correct way, like this is the right way,
Speaker 2: you know it resting on your thumb, but I always
Speaker 2: held it between my second and middle finger, and well,
Speaker 2: we are, but I was. I was persecuted for it
Speaker 2: by various teachers in elementary school who said, even though
Speaker 2: my handwriting was fine, because I didn't hold the pen right,
Speaker 2: they would give me lower grades for it are because
Speaker 2: I wouldn't conform, because I wouldn't conform to their standards.
Speaker 4: Do you remember I don't think that they do this
Speaker 4: anywhere either, But do you remember the grip trainers that
Speaker 4: they would put on your.
Speaker 6: H's Literally it's it's a waste.
Speaker 2: It's not like it's like when you would get chopsticks
Speaker 2: that when you didn't know how to use them and
Speaker 2: they would like reb a band. The thing was it
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 4: It was like they put it on the end of
Speaker 4: your pencil, and it was kind of like a racer material,
Speaker 4: like gushy, and it would teach I know, it would
Speaker 4: like teach you how to hold your pen.
Speaker 6: But it was fucked up.
Speaker 4: It was so hard to get it was impossible.
Speaker 2: It's like footbinding.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 4: It's footbinding, impossible, possible, and it's painful.
Speaker 6: There's actually no one who's wrong.
Speaker 2: What are we doing to the children?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Now I feel like the kids aren't getting tortured anymore.
Speaker 4: I feel like they're all just like using computers and iPads.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Are they even getting taught to write? Right there?
Speaker 2: It's like they're in secretary school. They're just sitting there
Speaker 2: on the computers.
Speaker 1: Wait, have you did anybody listen to I know rosden't,
Speaker 1: but did you listen Greta?
Speaker 6: Did you my chance to listen.
Speaker 1: To like the Daily podcast about like how we fundamentally
Speaker 1: taught a generation of people how to read incorrectly? No,
Speaker 1: but I'm obsessed with Okay, okay, do we do we
Speaker 1: remember hooked on?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: So hooked ons, like is the right way to learn
Speaker 1: how to read? It's how our generations I think learned
Speaker 1: how to read. But I think shortly after our generation.
Speaker 1: There was a woman in like the early aughts who
Speaker 1: was like, no, like phonetic, Like, phonetic learning is like
Speaker 1: not helpful and not fun and not intuitive, and so
Speaker 1: there's an intuitive way to learn by way of finding
Speaker 1: context clues and like learning context around words and letters
Speaker 1: and like so and and she kind of was like
Speaker 1: shitting on phonics, like while she was like populated on
Speaker 1: shitted on phonics hard. While she was like populating this
Speaker 1: like new basically this new way of learning.
Speaker 6: And everyone believed her.
Speaker 1: Everyone was like, this woman's right, Phonics sucks. Fuck phonics.
Speaker 1: Let's now teach all of our kids how to learn intuitively.
Speaker 6: I can't remember what.
Speaker 3: I'm as, so what does that mean? I'm now used.
Speaker 6: Here's what Michael Barbarros.
Speaker 2: It means that you listen to intuition the song.
Speaker 6: So it's kind of like, okay, here's how this is.
Speaker 1: So but instead of like you learn, you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: you're learning like cat bat hat and you're like learning
Speaker 1: how these like different like vowels or consonants move together.
Speaker 1: We're like if with this new woman's way to learn,
Speaker 1: it's like you look at bat and then you see
Speaker 1: the words around it and you're like, like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: describe it because this is not how I learned how
Speaker 1: to read.
Speaker 6: But anyways, lo and behold.
Speaker 1: Now we're like, I think a decade out from like
Speaker 1: teaching an entire generation how to read this, and studies
Speaker 1: are now finding that kids fundamentally are like their comprehension
Speaker 1: skills are bad.
Speaker 2: That does not surprise me because like, yeah.
Speaker 6: Okay, say say more. Look, why doesn't it surprise either.
Speaker 2: Of you rus children? I just no, I like, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm on TikTok. I guess I have I have empirical
Speaker 2: evidence that the kids are not all right. The generations
Speaker 2: comeing up Generation ALPHA, that's the one after Gen Z.
Speaker 2: They are dumb.
Speaker 6: They're called generation.
Speaker 4: Because they because we're at the end of the alphabet,
Speaker 4: we had to start all over.
Speaker 2: But they are out stupid.
Speaker 4: I will just say, kids in general just are dumb
Speaker 4: like that, you know, it's just period.
Speaker 5: They're dae fair face.
Speaker 3: I think that like the more.
Speaker 4: Like the Okay, when I'm on TikTok and I see
Speaker 4: kids they have the knowledge of like this will give
Speaker 4: me something, will fulfill me with something and then I'm
Speaker 4: gonna like focus energy posting on this thing that will
Speaker 4: like lead to other emotions and other feelings. Like I
Speaker 4: feel so grateful that we didn't have that, because I
Speaker 4: do think that. You know, the internet can make you
Speaker 4: smarter in many ways, but it can also make you
Speaker 4: dumber and so many more ways. And I get disturbed
Speaker 4: when I see like ten year olds being like like
Speaker 4: whatever it is on TikTok, and I'm just like I
Speaker 4: and not to sound like a fucking boomer, but I'm like,
Speaker 4: go and sit on a goddamn swing and like play outside,
Speaker 4: like what are you doing fun?
Speaker 2: And use your pens and write heart above your eyes.
Speaker 2: I think what it is is and I've noticed this.
Speaker 2: I have sisters who are gen z. I think what
Speaker 2: it is more than anything, it's a lack of curiosity
Speaker 2: about the world because everything has been handed to them
Speaker 2: and they are just not seeking out additional information. Everything's
Speaker 2: been demystified. Yeah, were you dumb child, Greta, No.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 4: I was not, And I'll tell you why. I was
Speaker 4: curious to a fault where like I was. I.
Speaker 3: Well, we all went through a face.
Speaker 4: I saw some like uh, some tweet about.
Speaker 3: Someone that was like that was like if you were.
Speaker 4: We all went through a phase where we wanted to
Speaker 4: be Harriet the Spy and I.
Speaker 2: Was like that was talk about.
Speaker 3: I was like, that is me.
Speaker 4: And I would just like I was a snoop Like
Speaker 4: as a kid, I was just like look through everything,
Speaker 4: want to find out everything. I was obsessed with, like
Speaker 4: you know, movies like Now and Then where they would
Speaker 4: try and solve a big mystery.
Speaker 3: And I also was a kid.
Speaker 4: That I hated other kids, like I just wanted to
Speaker 4: hang out with my mom and her friends. Like I
Speaker 4: just wanted to be forty seven smoking a Marlboro light,
Speaker 4: having a gorgeous glass of fucking Sonseer, you know. And
Speaker 4: I really was like is that so much to ask?
Speaker 4: Like that's all that I wanted.
Speaker 1: Language Yeah, I mean Rose famously hates wine. But aside
Speaker 1: from that, Rose was born of forty seven Marlborough smoking.
Speaker 2: I mean, I grew up in Boca Raton, Florida, Like
Speaker 2: I was, you know, I was old before I was young.
Speaker 4: I mean, my my mom's friends would joke that I
Speaker 4: was their age trapped.
Speaker 3: In a little tiny body.
Speaker 1: And that's like a really good quality to have. I
Speaker 1: think that, like, I think that speaks to your character
Speaker 1: now I think was it? I think cap er Lant
Speaker 1: was also like one of these kids who are just
Speaker 1: like she only hung out with an adults. Were you
Speaker 1: an only child?
Speaker 3: I was not.
Speaker 4: I have two older siblings, but when I was my
Speaker 4: both my siblings were out of the house by the
Speaker 4: time I was oh.
Speaker 3: Ten, by the time I was nine nine.
Speaker 6: Time you were only child? Adjacent? Yeah, I was only
Speaker 6: only child passing?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I in my mind I was the only child.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: A lot of like what I envied from other kids
Speaker 1: like U in school was usually something to do with
Speaker 1: like trends at the time, like crazy bones, Pokemon cards.
Speaker 4: Crazy bones. Oh my god, I forgot about crazy bones.
Speaker 1: Like crazy bones were banned at my school because kids
Speaker 1: were too intense about trading and playing with them.
Speaker 2: Did y'all were lame? I was like suffocating myself so
Speaker 2: that you would pass out and like get you get high?
Speaker 2: Do you remember that, yes, choke yourself or when you go.
Speaker 4: You pant and you'd like be on all fours panting
Speaker 4: until you pass out exactly.
Speaker 2: So it was that, and then it was those crushed
Speaker 2: velvet textbook covers, those.
Speaker 1: Oh those are gorgeous, the stretchy, the stretchy like ones
Speaker 1: that you could like roll up into a little ball.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, Greta. Something I'm wondering is were
Speaker 2: you the kind of girl who when you had a
Speaker 2: crush on someone, did you take your gelpen and write
Speaker 2: missus TKTK I or mix. I don't know mix.
Speaker 4: I don't think I ever.
Speaker 3: I'm sure at.
Speaker 4: Some point I doodled someone else's last name. I think
Speaker 4: I was mostly concerned about what my autograph would be.
Speaker 3: That was mostly what I was thinking.
Speaker 4: I was like, I was figuring out what my autograph
Speaker 4: would be.
Speaker 3: And do you remember in.
Speaker 4: Like US Weekly's or people when they would have like
Speaker 4: a handwriting expert that could tell you what people's autographs
Speaker 4: like said about their personalities.
Speaker 6: I used to know.
Speaker 2: But what a what a stupid fake thing that I
Speaker 2: absolutely would have consumed.
Speaker 3: I loved them.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh my god, like Brad Pitt's signature
Speaker 4: says that he's sensitive but also.
Speaker 3: A little shy and like whatever.
Speaker 4: And I just remember signing my name over and over
Speaker 4: and over again, thinking like one day, when my autograph
Speaker 4: gets you know, deciphered by and handwriting expert what are
Speaker 4: they going to think about me? So I was mostly
Speaker 4: obsessed with doing that.
Speaker 2: So I didn't care about my signature when I was
Speaker 2: a young, a young thing. But one thing I did
Speaker 2: perfect was my mom's signature so that I could use
Speaker 2: her credit card yep, and so that I could sign
Speaker 2: permission slips yep, like disciplinary notices. I remember one time actually,
Speaker 2: I like got a note sent home because I was
Speaker 2: doing bad in some class, and I forged my mom's
Speaker 2: signature on it. And then one day I was at
Speaker 2: school and I got called down to like a guidance
Speaker 2: counselor office, and both my parents were sitting in the room,
Speaker 2: and I was gooped because I discovered that I had
Speaker 2: forged my mom's signature.
Speaker 3: How did they discover that? Did they call?
Speaker 2: They had to have called her, I think they called.
Speaker 2: And the thing with my mom was like she had
Speaker 2: to pretend like she was upset about it. But my
Speaker 2: mom many times was like, just sign it. I don't
Speaker 2: have time for that, Like it absolutely is something that
Speaker 2: she would have preferred me to do for the convenience,
Speaker 2: but she had to, you know, pretend that she was
Speaker 2: upset about it.
Speaker 4: I also was obsessed with forging everyone's signature. I could
Speaker 4: do my mom's perfectly, I could do my sisters perfectly.
Speaker 4: I also did the same thing I would get I
Speaker 4: was queen of getting disciplined disciplinary letters in the mail.
Speaker 4: I would always intercept them. But yes, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I was like the mail, honey. The only reason why
Speaker 4: the mailman came to my house was for my disciplinary
Speaker 4: fucking letters. And I would forge my mom's signature all
Speaker 4: the time. And similarly to your mom, my mom was
Speaker 4: just like, yeah, I don't have time for this, just
Speaker 4: like fucking sign it like whatever. I can still do
Speaker 4: her signature to this day, and it's useless now because
Speaker 4: she's dead, honey, So I ain't got no use for it.
Speaker 6: Did y'all?
Speaker 1: Did any of y'all have like a coveted field trip
Speaker 1: like every year? I'll start with mine. We had this
Speaker 1: thing called it was called like Reading Millionaires or the
Speaker 1: million Words Club or something, and it was like if
Speaker 1: you could read one million words in a school year,
Speaker 1: which was we would have to like log all the
Speaker 1: books we read and calculate an estimated average of how
Speaker 1: many words were in the book based on like simple
Speaker 1: math of like of the pages. And if we did
Speaker 1: get to the you know, million words club. We got
Speaker 1: to go to six Flags?
Speaker 2: Wow did you get did you read a million words?
Speaker 6: No? But I don't think to six flags like, No,
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think you can.
Speaker 1: It's easier than you think. I mean, it's a I mean,
Speaker 1: a million is really not that much.
Speaker 6: I think it's not.
Speaker 2: That's not true.
Speaker 6: It really isn't that much.
Speaker 2: No, it's I remember hearing something like it would take
Speaker 2: you thirty years to count to a million.
Speaker 4: Well wait, let me see something. I'm going to google
Speaker 4: how many.
Speaker 6: Words in a book, because.
Speaker 4: You know, these bitches will know how many words are
Speaker 4: in the Bible.
Speaker 6: Okay, seven hundred thousand?
Speaker 3: It's oh really?
Speaker 4: I here it says one hundred and eighty one thousand,
Speaker 4: two hundred and fifty three words are in the Bible.
Speaker 6: Maybe that's the New testamenty.
Speaker 4: So you need to read the Bible ten times to
Speaker 4: hit a million?
Speaker 2: Who the Bible ten times?
Speaker 3: Less than ten?
Speaker 6: Probably I'm reading that.
Speaker 1: The Bible's seven hundred. I'm reading that the Bible is
Speaker 1: seven hundred thousand words.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's Christian propaganda, Yeah it is, it is.
Speaker 6: What about y'all field trips Okay.
Speaker 4: We like when I was in the fifth grade, my
Speaker 4: class went online like an outdoor adventure like.
Speaker 3: Camping trip. I guess where we'd go.
Speaker 4: And I grew up in DC, and we'd go to
Speaker 4: this camp in Maryland and it was like on the Chesapeake.
Speaker 4: And there were a few things that come to mind.
Speaker 4: First of all, I was not an outdoors girl. That
Speaker 4: was not my vibe. I was like I wanted to
Speaker 4: be in. I was an indoor kid, okay. I wanted
Speaker 4: to be specifically in like my mother's closet and or
Speaker 4: like I don't know, just not doing outdoor stuff.
Speaker 3: I didn't like dirt. That wasn't me.
Speaker 4: So here I was, and I was ill equipped, not
Speaker 4: in the right clothes, like I was wearing my cute
Speaker 4: little like gap puffers, and all these kids are in
Speaker 4: like Columbia, like Patagonia, you know, a REI like the
Speaker 4: real brands. Serving Cunt, Yeah, serving Cunt, one might say.
Speaker 4: The first thing that I remember is we went on
Speaker 4: like a little hike down to where the Chesapeake was
Speaker 4: on the bay, and something must have happened because it
Speaker 4: was filled.
Speaker 3: In my kid mind, it was.
Speaker 4: Filled with dead fish. Every single fish. It was like
Speaker 4: washed ashore completely dead. It was like something from a
Speaker 4: horror movie, like birds picking it over.
Speaker 3: Naturally.
Speaker 4: I was terrified because I was like yeh, like ah, like,
Speaker 4: I don't want to be near these dead fucking fish.
Speaker 4: This is gross. I'm not having fun. I don't want
Speaker 4: a mountain bike. I'm cold, and the boy that I
Speaker 4: have a crush on is not giving me literally any
Speaker 4: attention because I just was not into it. So that
Speaker 4: was number one. The number two. All of our meals
Speaker 4: we like cooked like campfire vibes, so you know, you
Speaker 4: take foil and you put whatever the fuck in there,
Speaker 4: like potatoes and corn and whatever shit. And I remember
Speaker 4: eating this meal and the potatoes were my potatoes were
Speaker 4: hard because it was impatient and I didn't wait long enough.
Speaker 4: And then the worst part of this entire trip was
Speaker 4: I got diarrhea.
Speaker 3: So got diarrhea. I had to dig.
Speaker 4: You know, you have to dig that six inch hole.
Speaker 4: Now I don't know what six inches is, honey, Okay,
Speaker 4: I really don't. So I have to go into the
Speaker 4: woods with a little fucking shovel, dig dig dig. I
Speaker 4: probably dug like maybe an inch, like I don't even know.
Speaker 4: Shit overflowing from this hole in the ground. And then
Speaker 4: this other kid who was in my class also I think,
Speaker 4: had to go and ship his pants. He was like
Speaker 4: jetting in the woods and we like two, like two
Speaker 4: wild animals. We locked eyes, Me squatting, shitting, ship falling
Speaker 4: out of my house.
Speaker 3: Into a shallow you know, like grave.
Speaker 4: Radean and then William hide from Baird, God bless him.
Speaker 4: He looked at me and like, I think saw the
Speaker 4: ship drop and kept on his journey.
Speaker 1: Wow, and now you're like bonded forever. You you that's
Speaker 1: your husband, and.
Speaker 4: How legally had to get married. And that's how I
Speaker 4: met Abe. That's how we met. He saw the ship
Speaker 4: fly out of my hole when I was in the
Speaker 4: fifth grade, and that was it.
Speaker 5: It was just true love.
Speaker 3: It was so traumatic.
Speaker 4: I felt so sick, and I just remember like waking
Speaker 4: up the next morning being like, please God, I cannot
Speaker 4: get out of here fast enough. I don't want to zipline.
Speaker 4: I don't want to like do whatever the fuck. I
Speaker 4: just want to get on the bus and go home.
Speaker 3: I hated it.
Speaker 1: I we had boy Scout camp, and I similarly hated
Speaker 1: all things nature. Hated shitting in a hole, hated waking
Speaker 1: up wet or tired or dry or rose any field
Speaker 1: trip trauma. I'm sure there is that you all that
Speaker 1: you've repressed since that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I do remember once going on this like
Speaker 2: science themed kayaking trip. I was also not really I
Speaker 2: was an indoor kid, you know. I loved reading and
Speaker 2: theater and blah blah blah. But I did go on
Speaker 2: this kayaking trip, I think just because I really liked science.
Speaker 2: And I fell out of a kayak at some point
Speaker 2: and that was not great. But then something. This wasn't
Speaker 2: like a travel field trip, but we did used to
Speaker 2: go on an annual field trip to a local science museum,
Speaker 2: and for some reason, we always dissected things there, Like
Speaker 2: we never really dissected stuff in school. It was only
Speaker 2: on these trips. And one time we dissected baby sharks
Speaker 2: and learned in doing that that sharks pee through their skin.
Speaker 2: So when we cut the sharks open, piss flooded out.
Speaker 4: Oh my godness, for me when I died, I hope
Speaker 4: they kept me open and pissed just live everywhere.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 6: I will do you one better. We had this.
Speaker 1: So I grew up in the suburbs of Illinois, as
Speaker 1: we know, the Midwest or a lot of just like
Speaker 1: middle of the country schools systems have no infrastructure on
Speaker 1: teaching kids how to have sex or any sort of
Speaker 1: sex education in any way. Our like health classes were
Speaker 1: not equipped to actually do sex talk stuff. And even
Speaker 1: though they like abstinence was widely taught. And so there
Speaker 1: was this science museum called the Robert Crown Center that
Speaker 1: was in the kind of Chicago Tri State area that
Speaker 1: high schools in the entire Tristate area would shuttle kids
Speaker 1: as soon as they turned as soon as they get
Speaker 1: to fifth grade, these kids would be shuttled in mass
Speaker 1: to the Robbert Crown Center so that an expert at
Speaker 1: this museum would give them the sex talk. And we
Speaker 1: were there like watching like the Miracle Love Life and
Speaker 1: look at looking at these like baby models. And I,
Speaker 1: at the ripe age of fifth grade, learned that sex
Speaker 1: happens when you put a penis in a vagina.
Speaker 6: That's really yes, can you? But I was so sheltered.
Speaker 1: All I knew was that there's naked likeness and like rubbing,
Speaker 1: Like I knew that it's like two naked bodies, But
Speaker 1: I my brain never at any point.
Speaker 6: Put together that the Pope goes into the JJ.
Speaker 4: I feel like my sex education came from me watching
Speaker 4: like movies that I shouldn't have been watching.
Speaker 6: Like can you think of about movies.
Speaker 4: Like specifically Jerry McGuire. My mom was like obsessed with
Speaker 4: Jerry maguire and it is a great movie. But I
Speaker 4: just remember when when Tom Cruise is fucking Kelly. Why
Speaker 4: am I blinking on her last name?
Speaker 6: Uh uh?
Speaker 4: Ke Kelly Preston? May she rest your niece?
Speaker 3: Is that her name? Kelly Preston?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Who was married to John Travolta. Yes, Tom Cruise is
Speaker 4: fucking Kelly Preston. They're standing. They're fucking like in her library,
Speaker 4: in her house, and she's like a business woman who's
Speaker 4: like not fucking around, and like while they're having sex,
Speaker 4: she's like, Jerry, you need to listen to me, like you, Jerry,
Speaker 4: Like while they're having sex, and then they finish having sex,
Speaker 4: and then they eat this like gorgeous bowl of strawberry
Speaker 4: and in my mind, I was like, that is sex,
Speaker 4: Like that, well, it is everything.
Speaker 2: That's why he keeps strawberries in my fridge at all times.
Speaker 4: You're a big man, Jerry, Yeah, and like like standing
Speaker 4: like just bouncing like Jerry.
Speaker 6: Yes, dry, I don't even know the plot of Jerry Maguire.
Speaker 3: It's not a sports agent.
Speaker 6: That's all you need to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bros, So I discovered what sex was in a
Speaker 2: way that I think a lot of kids do, which
Speaker 2: was I was out of sleepover at my friend's house
Speaker 2: and we walked in on his mom.
Speaker 4: No, that is so mortifying, and also like for them, well,
Speaker 4: I mean, if you.
Speaker 3: Went did you go home?
Speaker 4: Did you tell your parents? I saw mister and missus
Speaker 4: Fuck fucking.
Speaker 2: No. But his mom was very embarrassed and made us pancakes.
Speaker 2: And then this boy and I was my best friend.
Speaker 2: We decided to copy.
Speaker 4: Them after pancakes.
Speaker 3: After pancakes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, were you guys horny kids?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 6: I was as well.
Speaker 1: And this comes back to gel pens, because my horniness
Speaker 1: would manifest trenifest in like really really horny drawing really
Speaker 1: of like Pokemon trainers and like Greek mythology, like gods.
Speaker 2: So that's why we send each other so much Disney porn.
Speaker 1: Yes, No, okay, Greta, you have to know like Rose
Speaker 1: and I are, like, you know, I wouldn't say like
Speaker 1: active consumers of like tune.
Speaker 6: Porn but we do. I would say it that we are.
Speaker 3: Do you do you like?
Speaker 4: Do you you whack it to tuon porn? Or are
Speaker 4: you just admirers of the art I have?
Speaker 6: I I have it.
Speaker 1: I don't regularly whack to tone porn, but I I
Speaker 1: you have.
Speaker 6: But I definitely have pulled.
Speaker 1: My patch yes to some to some like Hercules Milo
Speaker 1: from Atlantis. No, it's Maloa from Atlantis and Tarzan is
Speaker 1: the one that everyone talks about. But there's a lot
Speaker 1: of good tune porn out there that isn't mister xtuone
Speaker 1: who's an amazing tone porn creator.
Speaker 2: But have you whacked it to tune porn? Greta?
Speaker 4: I like, I have not whacked it to touon porn,
Speaker 4: but like I'm very interested.
Speaker 2: I okay, I will send you some recommendations, please do.
Speaker 3: I watched porn last night.
Speaker 4: My like, my relationship with porn is very I'm very
Speaker 4: in and out.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm like, I really want to watch porn, and
Speaker 4: then other times I'm like, you know, is it ethical?
Speaker 6: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: And that's kind.
Speaker 4: Of like sort of the battle that I've always in
Speaker 4: with myself and I really only like to watch one
Speaker 4: very specific type of porn, which is typically like a
Speaker 4: girl being dumbed ideally by another girl. If if I
Speaker 4: if it has to be with a man, fine, but
Speaker 4: like I just want there. I want it to be
Speaker 4: with toys, and I want it to be dirty talk.
Speaker 3: And that's it.
Speaker 4: I don't need anything else, and not even dirty talk.
Speaker 4: I just want it to be like someone needs to
Speaker 4: be Like did I say you could come?
Speaker 3: Not yet?
Speaker 4: Like don't, don't. Don't you think about it? Don't think
Speaker 4: about coming yet, like you know, and it's so hard
Speaker 4: to find. It's so hard to find.
Speaker 2: Important question. Do you need the setup? Do you need
Speaker 2: a storyline? Do you need your narrative? H Greta, you
Speaker 2: are my girl.
Speaker 4: No, honestly, rip the panties off, let me see the puss,
Speaker 4: blast it off with a goddamn fucking hitachi and let's
Speaker 4: be done. Like I need. I literally need under two minutes,
Speaker 4: that's what I need. I want it to be in
Speaker 4: and out. I'm not trying to lounge you, but I
Speaker 4: don't have time. I'm trying to release and get on
Speaker 4: with my day. I'm trying to relax. I'm trying to
Speaker 4: do whatever I'm trying to do. And you know, last
Speaker 4: night I thought I found a good, a good little clip,
Speaker 4: but then it turned into this like weird setup where
Speaker 4: a girl was like tied up against the banister of
Speaker 4: the stairs, and then a guy just.
Speaker 3: Kept on putting his dick through like the nuts through
Speaker 3: the stairs.
Speaker 2: That's so funny.
Speaker 4: I kept on like making her. He was like face
Speaker 4: fucking her through the banister, and I was kind of laughing,
Speaker 4: and I was like, this is so not horny at all.
Speaker 4: I'm just like, I'm get I'm just having fun at
Speaker 4: this point, and was.
Speaker 1: Gigglingesty, that does sound fun with porn like that, I
Speaker 1: feel like I love this discussion on porn. I feel
Speaker 1: like with porn like that that I also get very
Speaker 1: distracted on like little details in porn. And I don't watch,
Speaker 1: you know, heterosexual porn, so I don't know what the
Speaker 1: tea is over.
Speaker 6: There, but I I do feel like, not great, it's
Speaker 6: not great.
Speaker 2: No, it's not great.
Speaker 1: Well that's why you look for, you know, two women
Speaker 1: fucking or like I feel like gay porn.
Speaker 6: I don't know. I feel like everyone everyone you know
Speaker 6: loves gay porn.
Speaker 4: I love gay porn. I love watching to be honest,
Speaker 4: with you. I love watching gay porn. I can't really
Speaker 4: whack it to gay porn for me as much because
Speaker 4: I need.
Speaker 2: To because you don't respect them, because because.
Speaker 3: I don't respect you know, I don't respect gays.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's kind of I think that's fair.
Speaker 2: Do you like, since we're talking about pens, do you
Speaker 2: like erotica possibly potentially written with a gel pen? Have
Speaker 2: you ever have you ever read the seminal work Uncle
Speaker 2: Ronnie's New Whore.
Speaker 3: Shut No, I must it's.
Speaker 6: You know, talk about this.
Speaker 2: We're not going to talk about it again on the podcast, but.
Speaker 3: Hold on, is it real erotica? Because I'm actually I think.
Speaker 4: I would be the kind of person that we get
Speaker 4: really horny for erotica.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think erotica is a very gen
Speaker 2: term for it. It's it's written porn.
Speaker 1: It's called Uncle Ronnie's New Horror Gay Incest Porn.
Speaker 4: I love written gay incesto.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, unfortunately new horn love incest porn. I hate
Speaker 1: to say it, but with the okay on the topic
Speaker 1: of this, of this Dix through staircase rails, et cetera.
Speaker 1: What you're describing, honestly, is something of a thematic quandary
Speaker 1: of porn, which is porn actors making choices. You're an actress,
Speaker 1: you understand this.
Speaker 6: That is it.
Speaker 1: They're making a choice to be like I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: oh maybe I'll do it through this ban this like
Speaker 1: railing or whatever. And this is like an interesting thing.
Speaker 1: It's like no, it's it's not like what I was.
Speaker 1: I saw this like this only fans porn, Like a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago, where in these two gay guys for
Speaker 1: some reason or another post it up too fuck next
Speaker 1: to a like life size cutout of Mariah Carey that
Speaker 1: was in this person's bedroom, and.
Speaker 3: It is pride.
Speaker 2: They were trying to make. They were trying to go viral.
Speaker 2: They were trying to make a meme. But they're not
Speaker 2: trying to be sexy. If you watch the porn, it's
Speaker 2: extremely earnest. I mean I didn't see the setup, so
Speaker 2: I don't I only saw the two minute clips, so
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: How they go, like making love?
Speaker 2: Did I reference Mariah? Like are they well?
Speaker 1: The tweet that it circulated on did have a Mariah
Speaker 1: lyric in it. But if you watch the porn, because
Speaker 1: I didn't know how they got that's the thing. I
Speaker 1: don't know how they got there, and so I don't
Speaker 1: really want the narrative. But in this case, I was like, actually,
Speaker 1: do want to know how you got there and why?
Speaker 1: Because it was because they were like it was I mean,
Speaker 1: just like if I didn't see the Mariah cut out,
Speaker 1: it would be really really hot porn.
Speaker 6: But I was like, why is this here? And you're
Speaker 6: so earn.
Speaker 2: Mariah's scrolling on Twitter since season like, now why am
Speaker 2: I in it? Now?
Speaker 6: Why am I in it?
Speaker 4: Mariah gets pissed that she's not more that she doesn't
Speaker 4: have more of a story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Honestly, similarly ones, I'm also like a very I
Speaker 1: love like verbal porn and so like I you know,
Speaker 1: I'm always watching porn with the sound on.
Speaker 6: That's not the case with a lot of people.
Speaker 1: I know people that prefer to watch porn the sound off,
Speaker 1: which is crazy to me. But one time I was
Speaker 1: watching porn and there were these two guys fucking and
Speaker 1: like the soundtracks that people pick sometimes for like sex
Speaker 1: music is like so distracting. It's like the most KD
Speaker 1: out like EDM, like whatever blasting. One time I was
Speaker 1: watching this porn and I was like, why are they
Speaker 1: why is this guy getting railed to Judy Collins cover
Speaker 1: of both Sides?
Speaker 6: Now, like what is happen?
Speaker 1: Like because they're happening because they're gay, but bothcause now gay.
Speaker 1: It's like that's like lesbian divorce music. Like that is
Speaker 1: like not even gay music.
Speaker 4: By the way, there have been moments where I've been
Speaker 4: watching porn and I've shazamed.
Speaker 3: Porn. I'm not kidding you. I did it with that song.
Speaker 3: It's like soft house.
Speaker 4: It's like sits it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to send it to us. That's very you,
Speaker 1: Kamala meme. Can you turn this off? Can you turn
Speaker 1: this up?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I I it's sometimes distracting, but I love the I
Speaker 1: love choices, and sometimes choices get you there, like I
Speaker 1: like you like. I often will just do like too,
Speaker 1: like I want a two minute clip and then I
Speaker 1: gotta get on with my day. But sometimes and Rose,
Speaker 1: you and I have talked about this, sometimes.
Speaker 6: The search for the perfect clip.
Speaker 2: Oh, if it's not hour, if it's not the right,
Speaker 2: if it's not the right thing that I need to
Speaker 2: get me there, I'm sorry. Everything else gets set aside.
Speaker 2: I have plans canceled, I have dinner reservation, move it.
Speaker 2: I have a podcast to record. We're gonna have to reschedule.
Speaker 2: I have to go through sixty nine pages of porn
Speaker 2: Hub to find the right thing to jerk off to.
Speaker 4: You know, you know it's dark when you're on like
Speaker 4: page fourteen and you're like, how have I not found anything?
Speaker 4: And you think you find something and then you don't,
Speaker 4: Like I thought I found something the other day and
Speaker 4: then it turned out to be this like elaborate, like
Speaker 4: massage fisting thing, and I was like, I don't want
Speaker 4: to see fisting personally, I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't want to see Okay, I disagree, asshole.
Speaker 4: I want to see if you fist my my asshole, fine,
Speaker 4: fisting my pussy hole.
Speaker 3: I don't want to see it.
Speaker 6: I don't want to see that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like, uh, not unless you have a
Speaker 2: gel pen gripped in that fits.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, Not unless you're inserting a like the gel
Speaker 4: pen this shimmer, the like blue Mermaid shimmer jelp into
Speaker 4: my pussy and then autographing your name on my surface?
Speaker 4: Do I want you fucking fisty so?
Speaker 2: And you know what that I'm sure that's out there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's why we go to the Guana Colleges
Speaker 4: Tech to get that done.
Speaker 3: That's why it's important to.
Speaker 6: Go get your checkup.
Speaker 3: To go get your check up.
Speaker 4: They're like they open me up. They're like, wow, I
Speaker 4: see I was just about to say, Rodney.
Speaker 6: Dangerfield, Like what you have?
Speaker 2: Really? You have really great handwriting, Rodney Dangerfield. Or they're
Speaker 2: like oh, they're like, I can see that you ford
Speaker 2: your mom's signature. Slide into our DMS and let us
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Speaker 4: And.
Speaker 2: Buy our merch at like a Virgin four twenty sixty
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Speaker 2: Like a Virgin is an iHeartRadio production. Our producer is
Speaker 2: phoebe Under, with support from Lindsay Hoffman and Nikki Etre.
Speaker 2: Until next week, Sayonara Adios and now a clip from
Speaker 2: our Patreon where this week we're talking about Real Housewives
Speaker 2: of New York and also, you know, sort of the
Speaker 2: future of the kind of content we'll be doing on Patreon.
Speaker 2: Become a patron at patreon dot com slash like a
Speaker 2: Virgin for weekly bonus episodes and more. Whaw. The recurring
Speaker 2: storyline on this show of like that there's never enough
Speaker 2: food at the It is funny, it's a good it's
Speaker 2: a good housewives bit, and it's also like.
Speaker 1: Me, yea, if a party doesn't have food, go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2: She's like, let's go to Nobu.
Speaker 6: Yes, that was a.
Speaker 1: Serve that I thought that was so funny. And Erin's
Speaker 1: like being very unfun I mean I would if I
Speaker 1: was Aaron, I would be really really pissed obviously.
Speaker 6: But I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not team Aaron. I think that she is probably
Speaker 1: my least favorite in the entire no, but.
Speaker 2: Erin is very necessary because she, unlike Sigh, she drives
Speaker 2: the platform.
Speaker 6: She does.
Speaker 2: She is the one who's having the events. She's the
Speaker 2: one who's starting shit with people and having issues with people.
Speaker 2: And you can be a bad person, but a good
Speaker 2: housewife and actually the worst of a person you are
Speaker 2: the better of a housewife.
Speaker 1: You usually are something speaking of Aaron, something that I
Speaker 1: wrote down, and this is very bad housewive good housewive dichotomy.
Speaker 1: Erin is a little Kelly Bensimone coded to me. She's
Speaker 1: way smarter than Kelly, which is why it's different like Kelly.
Speaker 1: It's like she's not as delusional as Kelly. Well, Kelly
Speaker 1: wasn't even delusional. She just literally had no no. But
Speaker 1: the thing is, in order to be delusional, you have
Speaker 1: to have like aspirations, motives, incentives, values. She had no thoughts, feelings,
Speaker 1: believes and motives of values. She literally was just reacting
Speaker 1: to things with an empty head in real time.
Speaker 6: She was so stupid.
Speaker 2: She was and is.
Speaker 1: But Aaron gives Aaron provides a similar archetype. This like
Speaker 1: kind of like I'm driving the plot forward. I don't
Speaker 1: really know why, but I'm gonna do it anyways, and
Speaker 1: now everyone hates me like everyone hated Kelly Bensimone.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think Aarin does lack a little bit of
Speaker 2: self awareness that probably comes from, you know, a lifetime
Speaker 2: of privilege. But she's very confident and because of that,
Speaker 2: you know, she is making things happen, and that is
Speaker 2: kind of the most important. The most important things you
Speaker 2: can do as a housewive are either create the plot
Speaker 2: in a really engaging way or react in a really
Speaker 2: engaging way. And the worst thing you can do is
Speaker 2: neither of those things. Is just sort of be there.
Speaker 6: I guess in some.
Speaker 1: Way, Kelly is maybe more of a reactor. But yeah, wait,
Speaker 1: something that we didn't talk about was Jessel basically suggesting
Speaker 1: that Jenna lyons creative direct the ending of her two
Speaker 1: year dry spell.
Speaker 2: Well I missed that.
Speaker 6: At the wedding, Jessel.
Speaker 1: So, Jenna was telling the girls that she just got
Speaker 1: broken up with or rather they just broke up and
Speaker 1: life happens, andah blah blah blah. She's not revealing too much,
Speaker 1: but they have like a little moment, and I think
Speaker 1: Sy has this momentre it's like, oh my god, Jenna's
Speaker 1: like finally being like vulnerable or whatever, and Jessel's a
Speaker 1: part of this moment. And they're talking and as Jenna's
Speaker 1: trying to like describe like the breakup or just like
Speaker 1: she's having a literally like emotionally describing something about the breakup,
Speaker 1: Jessel interrupts her and goes do you want to have a
Speaker 1: threesome with me and my husband?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like a way to solve their problems.
Speaker 2: Her husband hates her, they hate each other, and the
Speaker 2: fact that they don't fuck concerns me. To me, it's like,
Speaker 2: I don't even think that the husband. For a while,
Speaker 2: it was like or like, for a minute, I was like,
Speaker 2: the husband's gay, clearly.
Speaker 6: But I don't even think he's gay.
Speaker 1: I think that he legitimately wants to like please and
Speaker 1: support her, and I think that she has some.
Speaker 2: I can see.
Speaker 6: I feel like maybe I'm projecting cultural religious trauma.
Speaker 1: That's like underneath a lot of her insecurities around IVF sex,
Speaker 1: being a good wife performing. I feel like I had
Speaker 1: a lot of shame around sex because of my parents
Speaker 1: and their beliefs on me. And I think that if
Speaker 1: her parents' beliefs had such an impact on her opinions
Speaker 1: on IVF and how she had to conceal that for years,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised if there was something else going
Speaker 1: on in her sex life or.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, you know what I actually think it
Speaker 2: might be is he loves her. She hates him because
Speaker 2: their story is that they were friends for years and
Speaker 2: then got and then just like got together and had
Speaker 2: these kids. And she, from the looks of it, she
Speaker 2: runs their life. And I bet he is like a
Speaker 2: full cook, you know, like she just like owns him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's literally gonna force force him to have
Speaker 1: a third child, like forcible impregnation.
Speaker 2: And then their marriage is gonna fall apart. Their marriage,
Speaker 2: it's well, it's will be her season two plotline, you think, absolutely.
Speaker 1: Okay, I hope we get it that soon because I
Speaker 1: can't wait another season.
Speaker 2: Maybe season maybe season three. No, like season two, it'll
Speaker 2: be really brewing in the background, and maybe, like as
Speaker 2: the second season of this new iteration of Ronnie is airing,
Speaker 2: it'll start falling apart publicly, and then we won't get
Speaker 2: it on camera until season three.
Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah, they will plan their divorce exactly when
Speaker 1: they're not filming. Well, that was quite a recap, that was,
Speaker 1: And honestly, I feel like Ronnie has not really been
Speaker 1: worth recapping until now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it is. But this this also is the
Speaker 2: mid season point, so yeah, well, so it's good that
Speaker 2: we checked in, and maybe the next time we'll check
Speaker 2: in is at the end of the season, like before
Speaker 2: the reunion episodes, and then we'll do like post reunion
Speaker 2: check in work, full wrap up,