WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: “Scarred” for Life

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<v Speaker 1>Rooking jewels. Second day, the girl on the phone for

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<v Speaker 1>a second date update today met her date in a

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<v Speaker 1>very unconventional way in person at a party. Yeah, that

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't happen very often anymore, and almost like Craigslist misconnections

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<v Speaker 1>or Tender or plenty of Fish. But she actually met

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<v Speaker 1>somebody in person and went out on a date with them. Weird.

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<v Speaker 1>And now she's not getting a call back. Nicole, how

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<v Speaker 1>are you? I'm good? How are you guys? Good? So

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<v Speaker 1>you actually took the risk and met somebody in person

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<v Speaker 1>while you're at a party, I'll tell us about that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's weird. Well, I mean I didn't know that I

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<v Speaker 1>was going to meet somebody in person at a party.

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<v Speaker 1>I just you know, went to a friends of a

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<v Speaker 1>friend's house for a party and got there and she said, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got this guy you should meet my lap And

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<v Speaker 1>you actually met him and talked to him face huh. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that is crazy. Tell us a little bit about the

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<v Speaker 1>guy you want to call today. Well, his name Travis,

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<v Speaker 1>And like I said, I was introduced by kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a friend of a friend and I am a single mom.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a five year old her dad and I

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<v Speaker 1>split a couple of years ago, so I don't I

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<v Speaker 1>don't date very often. I mean, I guess I've really

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<v Speaker 1>only kind of been back on the market for a

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<v Speaker 1>little while. So when I met him, I didn't really

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<v Speaker 1>expect to meet someone, you know, and I didn't expect

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<v Speaker 1>to like somebody. You weren't out like trying to find

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<v Speaker 1>somebody to date. It just happened that, you know, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>But as soon as I met him, we clicked, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean just instantly. The conversation was was really great at

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<v Speaker 1>the party, and so I knew that there was somebody

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<v Speaker 1>that I would want to go out with. Okay, So

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<v Speaker 1>you guys obviously exchanged numbers and went out. What did

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<v Speaker 1>you do on your date? We went to dinner, pretty

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<v Speaker 1>typical first date, nothing crazy, but just had a really

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<v Speaker 1>great conversation. You know, it was never awkward. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes you go on a date and it's just there

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<v Speaker 1>those moments where you're just like, oh God, get me

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<v Speaker 1>out of here. I never found that way. And did

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<v Speaker 1>he seem interested in you? I mean, because you seem

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<v Speaker 1>super jacked about this date. Well, hopefully I didn't seem

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<v Speaker 1>overly eager. I didn't think that I did. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>the date went great. He picked me up, and so

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<v Speaker 1>when he took me home after the date, asked him

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<v Speaker 1>if he wanted to come in for a nightcap. Was

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<v Speaker 1>your kid at home? She was a flab okay? And

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<v Speaker 1>is he a dad or and he's cool with the

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<v Speaker 1>child thing. He knew that I have a daughter. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>he's not a dad, okay, But he didn't seem to

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<v Speaker 1>be uncomfortable with the idea of dating a single mom, right,

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<v Speaker 1>He wasn't shocked when there was a babysitter at your house. No, No,

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<v Speaker 1>he already knew. Okay, that happened sometimes. What was it

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<v Speaker 1>like when you guys got back to the house. It

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<v Speaker 1>was great. I mean, we had a couple of drinks,

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<v Speaker 1>we were talking. One thing kind of led to another.

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<v Speaker 1>We kissed nice. It was really fun. You know, did

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<v Speaker 1>your kid wake up at any point and interrupt you guys? No,

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<v Speaker 1>she's if she did. I didn't see her come downstairs.

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<v Speaker 1>Well that's always kind of or you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>Like if you're hanging out with somebody who as a

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<v Speaker 1>kid and then like you guys are making out and

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<v Speaker 1>it's like, hey, I want to pop the call. He's busy. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so you didn't have any of that kind of stuff happen. No, nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing like that. Okay, how did you end everything with

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<v Speaker 1>the guy? He said that he would like to see

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<v Speaker 1>me again and said he'd give me a call, and

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<v Speaker 1>then he didn't. Okay, So after a couple of days,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, you know what, maybe he's waiting for a

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<v Speaker 1>sign for me that I'm interested. If I texted him

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, just said hey, I had fun, would

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<v Speaker 1>love to see you again, and he responded saying that sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>he'd been busy, things have been a little crazy, but

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<v Speaker 1>that he would also like to go out again, and

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<v Speaker 1>so we kind of made a plan to touch base

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<v Speaker 1>and find a time the next week. And that was

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<v Speaker 1>about two weeks ago. Almost, Okay, have you followed up

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<v Speaker 1>with him? No? Because at this point I kind of

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I let him know that I'm interested, and

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<v Speaker 1>so I guess I'm starting to wonder that maybe he's

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<v Speaker 1>just not interested. Now doing all the legwork and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>everything you've said has been so positive, maybe he's not

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<v Speaker 1>looking for a relationship. Did he like indicate that. I

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<v Speaker 1>definitely got the impression that he was as interested as

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<v Speaker 1>I was. So it's been about two weeks. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>want a second date with this guy, or do you

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<v Speaker 1>just want to find out why he just like stopped

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<v Speaker 1>talking to you? Honestly, you know, I think at this

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<v Speaker 1>point I more just want to know what happened. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>this is like I don't date much, and so if

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to know if I did something. So

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<v Speaker 1>if we call him, get him on the phone, and

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<v Speaker 1>he's like, oh, man, I liked her so much. I've

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<v Speaker 1>just been busy and I really want to go out

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<v Speaker 1>with her, you won't even say, hey, go to hell, man,

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<v Speaker 1>she doesn't want a second date with you. That's what

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<v Speaker 1>you want me to do? No, no, don't do that.

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<v Speaker 1>But I mean, if you wanted to go out again, yes, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>totally all right, Well I won't screw that up for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Then okay, thank you, all right, we'll play a song,

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<v Speaker 1>come back, call him and get your second date up date? Okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>five in the morning. If you're just tuning in for

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<v Speaker 1>the second date update. Nicole is on the phone. She

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<v Speaker 1>wants us to call a guy named Travis. Today. They

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<v Speaker 1>met at a party, agreed to go out at a

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<v Speaker 1>great date, went back to her place. She does have

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<v Speaker 1>a kid, paid the babysitter they hang out for a

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<v Speaker 1>little while and made out. He said that he wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to go out again, even texted are saying like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm real busy this week, but we should definitely go out,

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<v Speaker 1>and then has not talked to her since, so she

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<v Speaker 1>wants to call him today and find out why. And Nicole,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I know why this guy isn't calling you back. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you think? Well, talking to you, Okay, you

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<v Speaker 1>seem very put together, right, you got a kid, but

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<v Speaker 1>you're still like doing okay, you know, everything seems you

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<v Speaker 1>seem you seem you seem, you seem like not a

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<v Speaker 1>train wreck. Right. I think that's the problem. Okay, I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like he went out with you when he was

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<v Speaker 1>hoping just for a hook up, and then he's like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh man, she's actually like smart and she knows stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>and now she's out of my league and want to

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<v Speaker 1>call her back. Well, I mean, I guess I could

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<v Speaker 1>take that as a compliment. Yeah you should, you should.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying that from our normal second date updates that

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<v Speaker 1>we do, you sound too good, And I think maybe

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<v Speaker 1>that's the problem. He's like, yeah, she's too good for me,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to call her back. Well, I

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<v Speaker 1>hope that's the free all right, well I'm about to

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<v Speaker 1>die the phone of her right now, get him on

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<v Speaker 1>the phone and see if we can find out why. Okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, here we go. Hello. Can I speak to

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<v Speaker 1>Travis please? Yeah? This is Travis. Who's it? Hey? Travis?

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<v Speaker 1>How you doing? This is Jewel from Brook and Jewel

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<v Speaker 1>in the morning. Oh okay, Hi, Hi? How you doing fine?

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<v Speaker 1>Any idea why I might be calling you? Honestly, No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm calling you because you recently went out on a

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<v Speaker 1>date with one of our listeners okay, and you're not

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<v Speaker 1>calling her back. So she emailed us to see if

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<v Speaker 1>we could get you on the phone and ask why why.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll say it one more time for you. You recently

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<v Speaker 1>went out on a date with somebody who listens to

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<v Speaker 1>our show. Okay, okay, okay, and you're not calling her

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<v Speaker 1>back now and she would really like to see you again, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>But since you can't get a hold of you, she

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<v Speaker 1>asked us to do it and see if we can

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<v Speaker 1>find out why you're not calling her back. So her

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<v Speaker 1>name is Nicole. Do you remember going out with Nicole? Yeah? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys met at a party and hung out back

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<v Speaker 1>at her place. Yeah. Well, according to her, you've said

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<v Speaker 1>that you want to hang out again, but you've told

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<v Speaker 1>her that you're busy, and then you just kind of

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<v Speaker 1>stopped talking to her. Is there any specific reason? Well, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to hang out with her again. I just

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<v Speaker 1>haven't had time. Okay, So you're excuse about being busy,

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<v Speaker 1>that's true. You really do want to see her again? Yeah, sure, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>then why all right? So you say that, but why

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<v Speaker 1>haven't you contacted her at all? Um? I listen, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't I don't know what to tell you. You You got me,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't call her back? Okay, can you can you

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<v Speaker 1>tell us why? Well? She, uh, she's a mom, she's

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<v Speaker 1>got a five year old kid, and I'm just no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not I'm I'm not ready for anything like that. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do you agree to go out with her in

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<v Speaker 1>the first place? Then? Well, I thought at first that

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<v Speaker 1>maybe you could work out, but then, you know, after

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<v Speaker 1>the date, I realized that there's no way. So you're

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<v Speaker 1>saying after the date you realized it. Does that mean

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<v Speaker 1>that something happened during the date to make you change

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<v Speaker 1>your mind? Um? I don't know. I think you do know, Travis. Look, Travis,

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<v Speaker 1>this is like something that we do for our listeners.

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<v Speaker 1>They want to get better at dating, so they asked

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<v Speaker 1>us to call people and find out why. So, if

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<v Speaker 1>there's anything that you're withholding from us, I'd appreciate it

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<v Speaker 1>if you could just be honest with us and then

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<v Speaker 1>we'll tell her to help her out. You know, while

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<v Speaker 1>we were hanging out at her place, it was just weird.

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<v Speaker 1>It was weird. Yeah, okay, So here's the thing. We

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<v Speaker 1>talked to her. She said that she paid the babysitter.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys hung out and made out a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't even have any interaction with her kid because

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<v Speaker 1>she said you didn't even see the kid. No, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't see the kid, but I knew the kid was

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<v Speaker 1>just on the other side of that wall. So just

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<v Speaker 1>knowing there were sucked animals all over the place in barbievway,

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<v Speaker 1>So you were cool with it until you got there

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<v Speaker 1>and you're like, all right, I know there's a kid here.

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<v Speaker 1>This just became real and you didn't want to hang

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<v Speaker 1>out with her again. Well, it was more than that.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, things started, like you know, progressing between us,

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, physically, I just couldn't get it out

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<v Speaker 1>of my head that the kid was like right there.

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<v Speaker 1>So the whole time you're making out with her, you're thinking, like,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, this is gonna go to the next level,

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<v Speaker 1>the one thing that's in your head as a kid. Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>And I tried to put it out of my mind.

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to play through it, and like, I go

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<v Speaker 1>under her shirt and then I see her scar and

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<v Speaker 1>that was it. Say that again, Well, we're kissing. I

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<v Speaker 1>lifted up her shirt and I saw she had a

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<v Speaker 1>C section scar. Yeah, so is this about the kid

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<v Speaker 1>or about the scar? That was just a reminder that

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<v Speaker 1>she has a kid? Okay, can I ask? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>what is it though about the kid? Like, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>get why you're so shocked by all this when you

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<v Speaker 1>knew about it going in. I don't want to be

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<v Speaker 1>in a position where I have to play dad. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to be making out with someone and have

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<v Speaker 1>a kid walk in. I just I don't want anything

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<v Speaker 1>to do. It didn't seem to stop you at the time. Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>Nicole here, Hey, Travis, Nicole's actually on the other line

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<v Speaker 1>kidding me. She's been listening in this whole time. Sure

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<v Speaker 1>have and I think it's interesting that you'll tell these

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<v Speaker 1>guys complete strangers what's going on, but you won't even

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<v Speaker 1>answer a text for me, Nicole. They were asking questions,

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<v Speaker 1>yes I answered them, and I didn't answer your text.

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<v Speaker 1>And what do you think is more uncomfortable? I would

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<v Speaker 1>think responding to a text is easier than having a convert.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's not like I was asking you for

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<v Speaker 1>an explanation in person. I just sent you a text.

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<v Speaker 1>What am I supposed to say to you? Your C

0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:44.400
<v Speaker 1>section star freaked me out. I don't think you have

0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.040
<v Speaker 1>to go that. You could at least give me the

0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.760
<v Speaker 1>courtesy of saying, hey, listen, this just isn't for me,

0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:52.680
<v Speaker 1>instead of just hey, I'd like to see you again,

0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:55.320
<v Speaker 1>and then nothing, you know, like, why say you want

0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.200
<v Speaker 1>to go out again? If you don't, Hey, listen, this

0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 1>just isn't for me, Okay for me? All right, I'm sorry.

0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:04.679
<v Speaker 1>I was trying to let you down easy by just

0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.720
<v Speaker 1>ignoring your text. I thought you would get the clue,

0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:11.000
<v Speaker 1>but this isn't for me. Yeah, I don't think this

0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.960
<v Speaker 1>is for me either. Oh that's a shame, because I

0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:15.600
<v Speaker 1>was gonna see if you guys wanted to go out again.

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:19.080
<v Speaker 1>I will pay for it. Oh William, Yeah, why don't

0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:20.599
<v Speaker 1>you go and get us three tickets to give me

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:26.200
<v Speaker 1>an ice? Right, So, I guess neither one of you

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.080
<v Speaker 1>want to go out again. No, definitely not. And you

0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.400
<v Speaker 1>know what, Jewil, You're right, I'm way too put together.

0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:36.200
<v Speaker 1>See all right? Well, Travis, thank you for your time.

0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:41.640
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate it. All right, No more single mommies for you.

0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:43.559
<v Speaker 1>You got that, okay, And don't call them single mommies

0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:47.040
<v Speaker 1>because that sounds creepy. Jewil in the morning,