WEBVTT - Navigating Feelings While Married To Someone Else with Real Housewives Jennifer Pedranti and Ryan Boyaijian

0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.720
<v Speaker 1>Hi, guys, it is your celebrity mentor, Jen Fessler, and

0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:21.439
<v Speaker 1>guess what I am bringing back my dear friend Jen

0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:25.840
<v Speaker 1>Pedantry and Ryan from Housewives of Orange County. Let's dive

0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:28.800
<v Speaker 1>back into our convo with them. So give me a

0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:32.959
<v Speaker 1>couple tips guys for people going through divorce or separation

0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:33.480
<v Speaker 1>right now.

0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:35.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'll give you a little bit of a

0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.040
<v Speaker 2>nugget that I don't think anyone on the show knows,

0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:40.240
<v Speaker 2>and I don't think it's made its way onto the

0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.680
<v Speaker 2>show about Jen nine jenas don't know what I'm going

0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.680
<v Speaker 2>to say here. I applaud Jen, and I'll speak through

0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:49.360
<v Speaker 2>my limits. I was not faithful in my marriage and

0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:53.960
<v Speaker 2>there was infidelity the minute Jen. This is really cool

0:00:54.040 --> 0:01:00.720
<v Speaker 2>and makes me emotional. The minute Jen and I went past, Hi,

0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:02.720
<v Speaker 2>how are you nice to meet you?

0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:04.920
<v Speaker 3>You know what Jen did? She went home and told

0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.240
<v Speaker 3>her husband, Yeah, yeah, there was no like.

0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.440
<v Speaker 2>We held hands first, we kissed first, we had sex first,

0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:12.679
<v Speaker 2>and she got caught.

0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:14.279
<v Speaker 3>That's what you would think by.

0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.360
<v Speaker 2>Watching the show Jen, where's the scarlet letter A? But

0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.000
<v Speaker 2>none of that is what happened. Their marriage was three

0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:23.520
<v Speaker 2>years failed. At this point, I would say, you know,

0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:26.039
<v Speaker 2>just hanging on because of situational COVID.

0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:28.840
<v Speaker 3>Well, I was scared and I had kids, and so

0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.520
<v Speaker 3>when I when I knew this man, was like, I

0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:34.600
<v Speaker 3>just looked forward to a conversation that I knew I

0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.800
<v Speaker 3>shouldn't look forward to, right, I'm like, why am I

0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.000
<v Speaker 3>excited to run into him at the gym? Why do

0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:41.759
<v Speaker 3>I love like texting with him? I am looking forward

0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:45.160
<v Speaker 3>to this. I remember I went home and I just

0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:47.880
<v Speaker 3>told Will like I told him about Ryan. He's like,

0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:49.600
<v Speaker 3>who is this guy? I'm like, I don't know, Like

0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.720
<v Speaker 3>I really don't know, but something is waking up and

0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:53.040
<v Speaker 3>something is so wrong here.

0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:56.560
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, I get that. Well, two things first, Jennifer,

0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:58.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't see any scarlet letter anywhere near you, So

0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:01.400
<v Speaker 1>let's get there's a scarlet letter on you. There's a

0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:04.840
<v Speaker 1>scarletletter on pretty much all of us. Okay, So that's

0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:07.920
<v Speaker 1>the first thing. But the second thing is, Ryan, would

0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.600
<v Speaker 1>you suggest that as a tip to tell people that

0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:14.399
<v Speaker 1>are going through Yes, we share that.

0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.040
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I mean that realistic though.

0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:20.200
<v Speaker 2>You wouldn't have said that at forty. But where I

0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:24.240
<v Speaker 2>sit today with what my kids have had to experience,

0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:28.240
<v Speaker 2>and you know, I can't blame their mom at the

0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:32.639
<v Speaker 2>time for using that against me, and Will has done

0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:36.280
<v Speaker 2>that again to an extent, so I could have avoided that.

0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:38.040
<v Speaker 2>I can help protect my kids.

0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:41.480
<v Speaker 3>Have to say before even if you're thinking outside the box,

0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:45.160
<v Speaker 3>you're saying be a bigger person. Yes, have the hard

0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:48.560
<v Speaker 3>conversation because it makes the road way less Monty.

0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:51.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it does it Just not only that, not only

0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:55.320
<v Speaker 2>for the sake of the process that a divorce takes

0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:58.720
<v Speaker 2>from separation to divorce, but there's so much the emotional

0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:03.280
<v Speaker 2>draggage and baggage that you get along the way. Where

0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:06.280
<v Speaker 2>Jen was able to what I would say, do it

0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:11.120
<v Speaker 2>the right way, mine was probably the more instinctive just

0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:14.320
<v Speaker 2>do it and face the consequences later. And looking back now,

0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:16.320
<v Speaker 2>I just wish I was a more stand up guy.

0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.320
<v Speaker 2>I knew I wasn't happy in the relationship. I knew

0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.680
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't long term. We had tried therapy, counseling. At

0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:24.080
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day, and like I started with,

0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:26.519
<v Speaker 2>it was still on me and I wish I would

0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:31.720
<v Speaker 2>have been a better partner, a better father, a better

0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:35.400
<v Speaker 2>human being, and I expected more of myself so today.

0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.360
<v Speaker 3>Would be different, because doing what you want to do

0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:40.760
<v Speaker 3>and apologizing later is very painful, even whenever it's ending.

0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.680
<v Speaker 3>So you're saying your advice to men, I'm assuming or

0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:45.680
<v Speaker 3>I guess women too, is if you're going down the

0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:47.520
<v Speaker 3>path and you think there's something else out there to

0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:52.200
<v Speaker 3>have the hard conversation, first, let that person respectfully know

0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.840
<v Speaker 3>and go before you selfishly fulfill.

0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.280
<v Speaker 2>Right, Yes, but before all of that, I'd say, turn

0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:01.240
<v Speaker 2>over every stone at home. And if you feel like

0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:05.240
<v Speaker 2>there is not another option and something else is peaking

0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.560
<v Speaker 2>your interest and or just playing the field is speaking

0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.080
<v Speaker 2>your interest, or not being married is peaking your interest,

0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:13.720
<v Speaker 2>take care of that step before the other door opens,

0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:14.800
<v Speaker 2>whatever that door looks like.

0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, I think that's great advice. I think that

0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.640
<v Speaker 1>our listeners probably do know this because not all of them,

0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:23.120
<v Speaker 1>but a lot of them are have been through divorce,

0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:25.159
<v Speaker 1>and not just divorce. A lot of our listeners have

0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:31.120
<v Speaker 1>been widowed but divorced. They say, is you leave, you

0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.400
<v Speaker 1>finally get divorced when you can't do anything else where

0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:39.200
<v Speaker 1>the money doesn't matter, and not that the kids don't matter,

0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.040
<v Speaker 1>but you know there is no other alternative here, Like,

0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:48.760
<v Speaker 1>you can't live like this anymore because divorce is hard, right, Yeah,

0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:48.960
<v Speaker 1>you know.

0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:52.320
<v Speaker 2>I always say something, Jen, I'm what nine years divorce now,

0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:57.240
<v Speaker 2>I know my ex Heather still has emotional scarring and

0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:00.880
<v Speaker 2>emotional pain. Even though I would say our marriage was

0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:03.760
<v Speaker 2>like done, how would you not? That's why, if you

0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:05.800
<v Speaker 2>asked me, the number one reason why I do it

0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:11.120
<v Speaker 2>different is that I've still left some carnage emotionally, some

0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.600
<v Speaker 2>baggage for her that ten years later, to a level

0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.159
<v Speaker 2>one out of ten or a level two or twenty

0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:20.480
<v Speaker 2>out of ten, she still carries all because of my

0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:25.080
<v Speaker 2>selfish actions or my inability to be face my own

0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:26.960
<v Speaker 2>conflict and be an adult.

0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:29.040
<v Speaker 3>So that's why I would change it.

0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.560
<v Speaker 2>There's a multitude of other reasons beneath that, but to

0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:33.640
<v Speaker 2>know I can look back and say, Heather and I

0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.720
<v Speaker 2>are nine years divorced, and I know she still has

0:05:35.760 --> 0:05:37.839
<v Speaker 2>pain for the way it ended, because of the way

0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I chose to do it. That is the reason why.

0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:41.320
<v Speaker 3>I change it.

0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.279
<v Speaker 1>And listen, Jen, with as admirable as it is that

0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.200
<v Speaker 1>you went to Will and said this is what's going

0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:50.200
<v Speaker 1>on with me, and listen, there's so many many things

0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:53.200
<v Speaker 1>about you that I find admirable. I'm sure he has

0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:57.040
<v Speaker 1>some scarring. I mean, it's still early on and.

0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:01.840
<v Speaker 3>So when I went to Will and I said, I

0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.040
<v Speaker 3>got to tell you something, and I told him about

0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.800
<v Speaker 3>this guy named Ryan at the gin. Will did this

0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:10.160
<v Speaker 3>thing where he would kind of laugh at me, and

0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:13.000
<v Speaker 3>he did it. He laughed, and I remember thinking, like,

0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.440
<v Speaker 3>that's funny to you, Like I'm actually telling you something

0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:17.520
<v Speaker 3>that should be like you should be on the grip

0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:19.960
<v Speaker 3>you love me, Like what are you telling me right now?

0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:22.240
<v Speaker 3>And then it just it was validating for me, Jen,

0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.440
<v Speaker 3>because from that point on, it wasn't even about Will

0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:26.000
<v Speaker 3>and I he wanted to. It was all just about

0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.880
<v Speaker 3>who he was. So you know, I tried, I kind

0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:30.680
<v Speaker 3>of did the right thing, kind of didn't. I still

0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:31.800
<v Speaker 3>did what I wanted to do. I will.

0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Do you have any tips specifically, Jen, besides so anything

0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.200
<v Speaker 1>that you would suggest to I would just.

0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:41.720
<v Speaker 3>Say, for people going through a divorce, what are my tips?

0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Just one?

0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:46.400
<v Speaker 3>Just one? If you can stay friends and co parent,

0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:48.240
<v Speaker 3>it's the best thing for the kids because the one

0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:50.760
<v Speaker 3>person that the people that lose out and divorce, like

0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.000
<v Speaker 3>Will and I are better off, but are kids lost out?

0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:56.520
<v Speaker 3>So I would do anything to co parent. And I

0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.320
<v Speaker 3>think if I could give any tips or advice for

0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:01.120
<v Speaker 3>anybody going through a divorce, put yourself a side, and

0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:03.800
<v Speaker 3>do the best you can to co parent for your kids.

0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.479
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think that is everything. I think that

0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:08.080
<v Speaker 1>one of the reasons Jeff and I will be able

0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:11.000
<v Speaker 1>were able to get back together is because for both

0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:14.280
<v Speaker 1>of us with our kids. Like there's one specific time,

0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:15.920
<v Speaker 1>remember my daughter called me. I was in the car.

0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:17.360
<v Speaker 1>I think I feel like I've told this on the

0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.280
<v Speaker 1>on the pod before, but she called me and she

0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.240
<v Speaker 1>was complaining about Jeff and daddy, you know, for whatever

0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:25.280
<v Speaker 1>it was. And I was like, honey, you called the

0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:29.640
<v Speaker 1>wrong number. I have no interest in like hearing you

0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:34.880
<v Speaker 1>be disrespectful about your father and so sorry, and you

0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:36.800
<v Speaker 1>know he was great about that as well. And I

0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.320
<v Speaker 1>would that if you have kids, to me, that is

0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:41.440
<v Speaker 1>such great advice.

0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.360
<v Speaker 3>That great advice, And even if you don't want.

0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:48.640
<v Speaker 1>To because you know, hate your ex's guts, it comes

0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.320
<v Speaker 1>back to you because you see your kids happier and

0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:52.680
<v Speaker 1>healthier and all of that.

0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:53.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I agree with that. Jen.

0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.720
<v Speaker 1>All right, so quick, some some specifics you guys that

0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I have to ask you know that. So you don't

0:07:59.920 --> 0:08:02.280
<v Speaker 1>have a date yet at all? Do we have any idea?

0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:06.320
<v Speaker 3>Okay, I'm dying. We were at Bravo Klan Bravo Kan,

0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:08.760
<v Speaker 3>and everybody is like, when are you getting married? When

0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:11.640
<v Speaker 3>you're getting married day two of Bravo Kan, everybody was

0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.920
<v Speaker 3>coming up. I'm so excited about March. I can't wait

0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:15.760
<v Speaker 3>for March. And I'm like, what is happening in March?

0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:17.800
<v Speaker 3>He goes, I'm so sick of being asked about the date.

0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:25.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm just telling everybody it's March, okay, Ryan, so apparently Mark, yeah, no.

0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.240
<v Speaker 1>But in all seriousness, you guys, don't you seem casual

0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:31.120
<v Speaker 1>about the actual Like you're together, there's no doubt that

0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:32.520
<v Speaker 1>you have committed to each other.

0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:34.760
<v Speaker 3>Which a lot of getting married for the kids. True,

0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:38.240
<v Speaker 3>I mean, we want to be married, but we're home.

0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:40.160
<v Speaker 3>We're in this home together with all of our children.

0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:43.640
<v Speaker 3>We're doing life together. But I just want my kids

0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:46.360
<v Speaker 3>and his kids to know, like my step parents are

0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:48.720
<v Speaker 3>together and it's not just some like, hey, mom and

0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.800
<v Speaker 3>I maybe moving in six months if something happens with

0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:54.160
<v Speaker 3>her and Ryan. So we've been saying Jen like we

0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.000
<v Speaker 3>need all these kids around, and we're finding like it's impossible.

0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:59.839
<v Speaker 3>I like literally cannot get a time with Dawson and

0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:02.280
<v Speaker 3>Thes and the two boys graduating college.

0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:05.360
<v Speaker 2>And your job possibly in Georgia, going across the country

0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:07.120
<v Speaker 2>for We're going to figure it.

0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.240
<v Speaker 1>Out, and I promise, I'm sorry, excuse me, where are

0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:12.640
<v Speaker 1>you going? You have a job George Joyed Housewives of Atlanta.

0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:16.360
<v Speaker 1>No no, no, no, no, my oldest, my oldest, you said,

0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.880
<v Speaker 1>in your job in Georgia. I'm like, what I'm missing?

0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:22.200
<v Speaker 3>Okay, no, no no. But when we know, we obviously, Jen,

0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:23.920
<v Speaker 3>we will, you will know for sure.

0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. M a couple more specifics and you can choose

0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.360
<v Speaker 1>to answer or not. But I have to ask questions.

0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:41.719
<v Speaker 1>Do you guys believe in prenups?

0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:46.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? We do, we do. I won't ever be in

0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:48.600
<v Speaker 3>the position I've been left in, and I'm just grateful

0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:50.360
<v Speaker 3>that Ryan sees that for what it is.

0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:50.839
<v Speaker 2>And so.

0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:55.600
<v Speaker 3>We we actually talked about it very openly, very often.

0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.080
<v Speaker 3>I mean not very often, but when we're when we're like,

0:09:58.120 --> 0:09:59.679
<v Speaker 3>we if we're going to get married, we need to

0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.959
<v Speaker 3>get these things in place, and we talk about it.

0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Listen, I was we didn't have a prenup. I was,

0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:08.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, I was young, but I would only tell

0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:13.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, people our age, especially on part two, get

0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:14.760
<v Speaker 1>that in writing it not because you're not going to

0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.040
<v Speaker 1>be together forever. It's just I feel like it's.

0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:17.800
<v Speaker 3>Just what he says.

0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:20.880
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes I'm the female and I'm like, but what are

0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:22.840
<v Speaker 3>you saying? He' said, Oh my god, stop, I'm not

0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:25.000
<v Speaker 3>saying that. But we are going to be smart about this.

0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:27.640
<v Speaker 3>I think women is different to somebody.

0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.520
<v Speaker 2>I think we look at things as for me, this

0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:35.360
<v Speaker 2>is a dotting the ice crossing the t's. There's zero

0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:37.960
<v Speaker 2>emotion involved in it. For me, it's just a simple

0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:43.160
<v Speaker 2>function of finance finances, and those usually don't bring emotional side.

0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:45.440
<v Speaker 2>I think for you, that's where we differ. Right, it

0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:49.360
<v Speaker 2>brings when Jen here's prena specific get that. It makes

0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:52.079
<v Speaker 2>her say, are you is there a plan to the end,

0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.360
<v Speaker 2>because then why would we be talking about this? And

0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:57.160
<v Speaker 2>I say that now you've added an element that we're

0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.120
<v Speaker 2>just simply talking about a legal document, that's it. And

0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:01.880
<v Speaker 2>then I give her this example.

0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:04.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm forty nine and I've had life.

0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.120
<v Speaker 2>Insurance for years, and I tell her what you should

0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.319
<v Speaker 2>be saying to me, do you plan on dying? I'd say, well, no,

0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.880
<v Speaker 2>not for thirty plus years, but I still have to

0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.520
<v Speaker 2>do the financial piece of the puzzle, right, So It's

0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:17.079
<v Speaker 2>like same thing with a prenup. Why are you doing

0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:18.680
<v Speaker 2>your prenup if you're not planning to get divorced? Well,

0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:20.960
<v Speaker 2>the same reason I get life insurance. I'm not planning

0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:23.720
<v Speaker 2>on dying tomorrow, you know, but I still have to

0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:24.760
<v Speaker 2>do the financial piece.

0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 1>And I think you can structure a prenup so that

0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.760
<v Speaker 1>Jen you don't feel insecure about it. So, I mean,

0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:35.280
<v Speaker 1>because you've spoke, You've spoken very openly about finances, you know,

0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:37.680
<v Speaker 1>on the show, and I know that you are you

0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.600
<v Speaker 1>have struggled, and I'm not telling you both what to do,

0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.000
<v Speaker 1>but I think that prenups can be formatted so that,

0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:47.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, everyone feels more comfortable. Right. So that's that's

0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:50.360
<v Speaker 1>just my two cents. But I get how you would

0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.079
<v Speaker 1>feel that way. I just would tell all of my friends,

0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:57.040
<v Speaker 1>no matter what the differences were in terms of finances

0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:58.760
<v Speaker 1>to people going in, we're too old.

0:11:59.360 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:01.320
<v Speaker 1>Opinion to deal with.

0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.760
<v Speaker 3>That answer is yes, we believe in Yeah.

0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:07.520
<v Speaker 1>All right, So now, just some cheesy questions that I

0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:10.240
<v Speaker 1>can't help myself. Also asking, so if the wedding is March,

0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:11.880
<v Speaker 1>who from the cast is invited?

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:13.880
<v Speaker 3>Well, obviously if we did it on the show, I

0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.880
<v Speaker 3>think i'd have to have everybody. I mean, the only

0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.480
<v Speaker 3>person I ever sit in a weird spot with, unfortunately,

0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:23.000
<v Speaker 3>is Tamra. It's I haven't talked to Katie so long

0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.640
<v Speaker 3>that I don't know how. Actually Katie reached out to

0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:30.199
<v Speaker 3>me after Bravo con to you, she did. She texted

0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.439
<v Speaker 3>me after Bravo Kan and just said, you know what,

0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.520
<v Speaker 3>I thought we would connect at Bravo Khan and I

0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:39.040
<v Speaker 3>would like to get together and talk. And I can

0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:42.040
<v Speaker 3>see at some point Katie and I possibly needing a conversation.

0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.959
<v Speaker 3>I've known Tama so long that I neither at this

0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 3>spot Jen where I'm really ready to have that conversation

0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:52.520
<v Speaker 3>where both of us are going to show up and

0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.960
<v Speaker 3>be very brutally honest about what the hell has happened

0:12:56.000 --> 0:13:00.199
<v Speaker 3>within this friendship or just loving her from afar and

0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:02.760
<v Speaker 3>that being fun. So who would come to the wedding

0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:04.559
<v Speaker 3>if it was just Ryan and I on our own

0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.760
<v Speaker 3>Right now, I'd say everybody but Tamra and Katie. And

0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.880
<v Speaker 3>that's not a isolate them, that's just because I don't

0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:13.720
<v Speaker 3>have a relationship with them, right.

0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, now I get it. Listen, You're gonna

0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.000
<v Speaker 1>I am I am thinking that you're going to have

0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.319
<v Speaker 1>to resolve things because you're going to be working together

0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:26.960
<v Speaker 1>again soon. But don't comment on that, not not looking

0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 1>for anything about that, about those specifics. That is my guess.

0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:34.400
<v Speaker 1>So funny and this is off subject, but being at

0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.439
<v Speaker 1>Bravacon now and getting to know, you know, women from

0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:41.160
<v Speaker 1>other franchises and just liking them, like, you know, I

0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.440
<v Speaker 1>got to know Katie a little bit. Tam and I

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.480
<v Speaker 1>have been friends for so long, and it's so it's

0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:47.280
<v Speaker 1>it's not that sticky because I feel like people are

0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:49.679
<v Speaker 1>we're grown ups and we understand that and loving you

0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:53.320
<v Speaker 1>so much and you know, but it's it's weird because

0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 1>you see what goes down on the show and you

0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.000
<v Speaker 1>love your friends and you hate to see it, but

0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.400
<v Speaker 1>you do sort of develop these other relationships they go,

0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, in and out and but whatever.

0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:08.199
<v Speaker 3>That's what I love about women like you, Jen, because

0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't. I could walk into a room and see you,

0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.720
<v Speaker 3>Katie and Tamar all at a table together and I'm

0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.520
<v Speaker 3>not like, oh gosh, is Jen going to change the

0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 3>way she feels about me? Because I know You're not

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.880
<v Speaker 3>that kind of ever, and you know what, I would

0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:24.440
<v Speaker 3>still sit here today and say, I'm so happy that

0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.160
<v Speaker 3>you have a friendship with Tamar and Katie because guess what,

0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:29.720
<v Speaker 3>I saw the best of Katie for almost two years.

0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 3>I loved that.

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I know you did.

0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:34.160
<v Speaker 3>Heartedly, and I would tell you before I was ever

0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:36.520
<v Speaker 3>on this show, I thought Tamar and Eddie were like

0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:39.880
<v Speaker 3>one of the best couples I ever knew. And so

0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.000
<v Speaker 3>you're seeing a side of these women that I saw,

0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.200
<v Speaker 3>and how could you not be drawn to them?

0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.840
<v Speaker 1>So I also I also see the show and I see,

0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:51.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, everybody and what goes down, and women can

0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:55.720
<v Speaker 1>be mean, and I see the awful things that happen.

0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.960
<v Speaker 1>And that's not just I'm not just talking about Tamaron Katie.

0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:00.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about all the franchises, all the women. So

0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, you're watching that and you see a friend

0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:04.720
<v Speaker 1>of yours get hurt and you're not, you know, immune

0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:08.920
<v Speaker 1>to that. But yeah, I'm not on the show. So

0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 1>I do see the really good, sweet, warm sides when

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm with these people now. And again, I'm not just

0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:16.400
<v Speaker 1>talking about Tammer and Katie anyway, That's not what this

0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 1>is about. This is about, uh part two, your part two.

0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.240
<v Speaker 1>I really am happy for you, guys. I really hope

0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:26.480
<v Speaker 1>that you get to show more of this and it's

0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.000
<v Speaker 1>so it's so impressive and heartwarming, and I mean that truly.

0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.440
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't feel like everybody, you know, it's

0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:37.040
<v Speaker 1>everything is salacious on the show. And that's why I

0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.280
<v Speaker 1>was a viewer of you know, since the beginning, because

0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I love this. Can't help it, just do right. It's

0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:46.560
<v Speaker 1>like I I watched every Every Housewives episode on every franchise,

0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:50.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, forever. But I just think that this is

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:56.280
<v Speaker 1>so it just hasn't been shown, showcased, and it's special.

0:15:57.000 --> 0:15:58.520
<v Speaker 1>That's that's the way I feel about it.

0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's interesting from my side. You know, Jeff Pessler

0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:03.000
<v Speaker 3>knows this.

0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:06.280
<v Speaker 2>Yes, the men and Jeff's different, right because your guys

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:10.000
<v Speaker 2>show the men are more involved and engaged. For us,

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.920
<v Speaker 2>we're like an ancillary piece in the back and should

0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:14.760
<v Speaker 2>stay that way. I learned my lesson we should see

0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:15.120
<v Speaker 2>in the back.

0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I would.

0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.960
<v Speaker 2>Say it's a bummer because we'll still get comments of, oh,

0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:24.480
<v Speaker 2>he's gonna this, Jen, Jen, be careful, Jen, watch out

0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:28.680
<v Speaker 2>for Ryan. It's like we've been together five years, seven kids,

0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.400
<v Speaker 2>we all live under one roof, going on year three.

0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:39.400
<v Speaker 2>We're the sole financial emotional support system for Jen's five kids. Yeah,

0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:41.920
<v Speaker 2>so it's you know, it's it's some It's funny because

0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>the commentary comes in like we're a brand new relationship

0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:46.880
<v Speaker 2>and Jen be be careful, there's red flags.

0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.960
<v Speaker 3>Yet we're you know, nearing year six.

0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all of us integrated.

0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.520
<v Speaker 3>We look at each other saying like I should. So

0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:55.520
<v Speaker 3>it's a bummer selfishly.

0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.720
<v Speaker 1>That I should get more love. Though now I feel

0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:58.320
<v Speaker 1>like I.

0:16:58.200 --> 0:16:58.680
<v Speaker 3>Feel like.

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:01.880
<v Speaker 2>The bummer that I think if they were to show

0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:04.040
<v Speaker 2>our real relationship.

0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't know.

0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.199
<v Speaker 2>I think there's a lot more to offer on that

0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.359
<v Speaker 2>side than the you know, I think it's that they.

0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.280
<v Speaker 3>Don't show our real relationship. I think it's more fun

0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.720
<v Speaker 3>to show Ryan like trying to get me in a

0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:17.080
<v Speaker 3>bikini and slapping my ass whatever. You know, they don't

0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.280
<v Speaker 3>know that we're actually just very boring and on the couch.

0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:24.200
<v Speaker 1>Watching right right right right. I love you guys, Thank

0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.240
<v Speaker 1>you for doing this. I really appreciate it.

0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:26.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:28.679
<v Speaker 1>I hope we get a lot of listeners. I really do.

0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:30.679
<v Speaker 1>I mean we do, we do pretty well, but this

0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.200
<v Speaker 1>one is this is a good one. So I've had

0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:34.719
<v Speaker 1>like a few questions.

0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:39.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeh, next time, all right, remember what you wish, carefully

0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.360
<v Speaker 3>you wish.

0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:43.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, listen, you had this was not I don't think

0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:44.720
<v Speaker 1>this was like a walk in the park. I don't

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:48.040
<v Speaker 1>think it was. You guys were very honest. So I

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:49.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know how much harder it could be, but I'll

0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 1>work on it.

0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:56.400
<v Speaker 3>No, just yeah, we're grate YEA love you okaye, thank.

0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.480
<v Speaker 1>You, bye you guys, So thank you guys for being

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.560
<v Speaker 1>so open. Chapter two is not always perfect, but you

0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.960
<v Speaker 1>guys are a great example that you can find love

0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:07.360
<v Speaker 1>after a difficult situation. Are you ready to find love

0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:09.919
<v Speaker 1>in your chapter two? Call us or email us. All

0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:11.880
<v Speaker 1>of the info is in the show notes. We are

0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:14.679
<v Speaker 1>here to help follow us on socials. Make sure to

0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 1>rate and review the podcast I Do Part two, an

0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:20.480
<v Speaker 1>iHeart podcast where falling in love is the main objective.