WEBVTT - Betrayal Weekly: EP 4 - Matt and Laura, Part 1 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:04.160 She was screaming, saying, there's blood all over the car. 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:07.040 Oh my god, Oh my god, the baby's coming. I 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:08.440 was like trying to talk her through it. 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:11.760 Just breathe, just take deep breaths. Can you feel the 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:12.440 baby's head. 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.560 I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:32.839 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:40.800 change everything. Here at Betrayal, we've received hundreds of emails 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:45.640 messages from listeners telling us their own shocking stories of deception, 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.080 and we knew we had to find a way to 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:52.080 share them. So every Thursday, we'll be bringing you new 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:56.560 stories of resilience in the face of devastating betrayal. Some 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.760 stories will be contained to one episode and others will 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:04.160 be least in two parts. Besides hearing from listeners, our 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.880 team has been researching and reading about some of the 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:11.480 most unbelievable deceptions and betrayals from across the world, not 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:16.200 just romantic betrayals, but familial and financial ones, and in 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:20.760 this story, it's somewhere in between. In the process of 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:24.679 adopting a baby, Matt and Laura Trait were pulled into 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:28.000 a twilight zone of deception and fraud. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:35.520 Something switched in US, and we immediately went into attack mode, like, 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.480 we can't let someone get away with this, and so 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:43.400 we started immediately making phone calls to the Sheriff's department 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.480 to I mean, anybody that would. 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:51.720 Listen, and I remember the sheriff saying, well, it's not 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:53.560 a crime to hurt someone's feelings. 0:01:57.120 --> 0:02:03.120 This is Laura Trait and her husband, Matt. Matt and 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:06.080 Laura met in two thousand and five when they were 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:10.160 both in graduate school to become teachers. He was standing 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:12.840 in line with his classmate when he first met Laura. 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.840 She inserted herself into our conversation with my classmate and 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:18.880 was like, Oh, are you in the teaching program. I'm 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:21.720 in the teaching program too. We talked for a little 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:25.760 bit and went back to class. My other friend I 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.760 was with was like, Oh, she's really into you. I said, oh, no, 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:30.760 she's not. Like she's way out of my league. There's 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:31.679 no way she was into me. 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:35.079 Matt's friend was right. 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:38.480 I know it sounds so cliche, but when I saw 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:41.440 Matt around campus, I just kind of knew he had 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:44.960 just the kind of smile and kind eyes. So I 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:47.760 basically worked up the courage that night to say hello. 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:53.679 Laura invited him to her birthday dinner. He showed up 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:54.680 with flowers. 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:57.560 That was kind of our first date. 0:02:58.560 --> 0:02:59.560 Yeah, it worked out for me. 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.680 We're pretty much stuck at the hips, like right from 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:03.080 the start. 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:04.760 It just kind of clicked. 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.399 They dated for two years, and over that time, their 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:12.680 initial attraction grew into a deep connection. This is what 0:03:12.720 --> 0:03:14.760 Matt says he loves about Laura. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.360 What drew me to Laura when I first met her 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:22.320 were her eyes and her smile. I could tell that 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:25.840 she was just a kind person. Little did I know 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:31.800 just how amazingly kind and generous that she is. She 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:34.480 is one of the most selfless human beings that I've 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:35.040 ever met. 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:36.320 Thanks Ma, love. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.240 I mean, he's saying all the things that I wanted 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:40.600 to say about him. 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.800 And this is what she loves about Matt. 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.200 When I saw Matt around campus, I could just tell 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.880 from looking at him that he's just He has such 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:51.400 a kind face and eyes and smile, and I just 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:54.440 was drawn to that. It was true that he is 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.760 the kindest man I've literally ever met. 0:03:57.160 --> 0:03:58.120 So he gota taught me. 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:03.119 Now, Oh God, getting emotional already. 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:07.600 After they graduated, the couple started talking about the future together, 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.400 everything from marriage to having kids. 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.240 I was raised in such a big family that I 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.080 just always wanted a family. I always wanted more than 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.320 one child. That was like my biggest dream in life. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.880 Matt felt the same way. He loved kids and wanted 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:26.360 a family with Laura. 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.520 It's just something we both agreed on. Right from the start. 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:34.080 They knew they'd have to make sacrifices to have the 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:35.479 big family they dreamed of. 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.160 We both were becoming teachers, and I mean the idea 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.280 was to just make a difference in people's lives. We 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:45.800 were never into material things. We were never into like 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:48.599 name brands or anything like that. We were just more 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:52.840 focused on having a family together and growing old together, 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:54.560 like in simple ways. 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:57.760 Laura and Matt got married at thirty one, and right 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.520 away they started trying to build their family. 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.920 We started trying right away, and it's really disheartening when 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:05.160 you're trying and it's not working. 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.840 So it became like this huge project, which is sad 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:09.240 to say. 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.159 Yeah, even if we weren't in the mood or whatever, 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:14.760 we'd be like, okay, well I'm ovulating, so we need 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:15.280 to try. 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:17.000 And it just wasn't working. 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.480 You know, you get to a certain point in the process. 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:24.480 Also where you know it definitely affects you mentally, the struggle, 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.920 you know, something that comes so easy for some people. 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.600 After a year with no luck, their doctors ordered a 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:36.200 series of tests. The trades learned they both have medical 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:40.279 conditions that make it difficult to conceive, so their doctors 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:45.520 recommended IVF, But the biggest obstacle was financial. One round 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:46.880 of IVF is expensive. 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:51.440 The cost per cycle is just staggering. 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.359 This was in two thousand and nine. It was probably 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:59.560 between twenty to thirty thousand dollars. But to us, there 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:04.400 is nothing more worth the money. Yeah, and I remember 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.160 like writing down notes and being ready, like to have 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:10.400 a meeting with Mad's parents to ask them for help. 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.839 We had to lay out the plan, lay out the prices. 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:15.560 They want to know all the details and why it 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.279 was costing this much. But we really had to go 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:21.120 to family and advocate for ourselves and be like, please help, 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:22.800 but we really want to have a family. 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:27.120 Their families agreed to help financially, and the couple started 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:28.880 their first IVF cycle. 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:34.239 The first one wasn't successful at all, but we weren't 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.640 ready to give up, so we tried again. Within the 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:38.720 next couple of months of that one not working. 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:43.119 On their second cycle, they got a positive pregnancy test. 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:45.360 We were so excited and hopeful. 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:49.039 And then we went to our first ultrasound and my 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:51.919 body was creating all the pregnancy hormones, but there was 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:52.520 no baby. 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:57.479 It was an emotional rollercoaster, but they weren't ready to 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:00.800 give up on their dream. After a few months, they 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:04.000 decided to give IVF one final. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:07.240 Shot, our third try. We put in three embryos and 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:11.080 thought that this was going to be our last opportunity. 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.760 Finally they got the phone call they'd been waiting for. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:19.120 When they called and said that my levels were like 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.560 in the nine hundreds and that I was pregnant. I 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:26.560 was shocked and just elated after. 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:31.040 Years of disappointment. They were cautious, almost afraid to believe 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.000 that this pregnancy was real. 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:37.040 We had done this before and believed we were pregnant, 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:39.920 and then we go in for the ultrasound and we weren't. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:44.120 And so the real true moment for us was going 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:48.840 in for that first ultrasound appointment and being able to 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.640 see that there actually was a baby in there. It 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:56.160 was one of the most joyous, amazing experiences of our life. 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:59.280 Laura had an image in her head of what pregnancy 0:07:59.280 --> 0:07:59.880 would be like. 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.160 I was always so excited to be pregnant because I 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.480 thought I would be one of those cute pregnant ladies 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:08.480 that wear all the cute pregnancy clothes and waddle about 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.520 and just be happy all the time. 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:16.360 Instead, Laura started having pre term contractions at twenty weeks. 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:19.200 I was having a lot of them, and they were 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:23.120 monitoring me, so they put me on strict bed rest 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:24.560 for the rest of the pregnancy. 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:27.240 We just kind of pushed through, like, Hey, this is 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:28.640 all going to be worth it. It's going to be 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:29.120 worth the wait. 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.280 She spent the last few weeks of her pregnancy in 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:37.560 the hospital under constant monitoring, until finally. 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:40.240 They woke us up one morning and they're like, we're 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:44.520 going to do a sea section this morning. And I 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:47.360 remember during the sea section, just waiting to hear that 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:51.280 little cry, you know, just waiting to hear that sound 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:54.640 is and then you hear it and it's like, Oh, 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.840 it feels so good to have your dream come true. 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:02.800 He was a miracle for us. Out of nine or 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.520 ten embryos that we had put in through the courses 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:09.240 of all the cycles. One was successful and it just 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:15.160 felt like everything finally was in place and it was 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.040 just overjoyed with happiness. 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.480 They named their son Hudson, which was the name of 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:25.160 both of their hometowns, hers in New Hampshire and his 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:31.880 in Ohio. Hudson was happy and healthy. Despite how difficult 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:34.360 it was to have him, the joy of being his 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:39.000 parents outweighed it all and they wanted to do it again. 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:42.000 We had still had some of those frozen embryos, and 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:45.720 we decided to try more rounds of IVF. 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:49.880 They went in with high hopes for another miracle like Hudson, 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:55.000 but after their fifth IVF cycle ended in a miscarriage. 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:56.199 We kind of did more soul searching. 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:02.040 We were like, let's look into adoption, so we started 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:03.040 raising money again. 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:08.880 Just like IVF, adoption has upfront costs, big ones. 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:15.480 We have an adoption yard sale and went back to family, 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:16.680 you know, to borrow money. 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.679 There were adoption facilitators whose job basically is to connect 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:25.120 you with a birth mother, and they want to charge 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.880 you fifteen to twenty thousand dollars just to talk to 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.120 a birth mother. You know, it's like, hey, we've got 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:34.600 a birth mother on hand. They really need somebody. If 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:37.080 you send us fifteen thousand dollars, you can talk to them. 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:41.600 Because they'd already invested so much money in building their family, 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:45.000 the Traits needed to be resourceful. 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:48.560 I have my graphic design degree, so I was like, 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.320 I'll create a website for us, and we'll try and 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:53.640 reach out to see if we can find birth moms 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:56.320 who are looking for a nice family on our own 0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:00.600 instead of going through one of these agencies. So that's 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.000 when I started creating this website called the Sibling for 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.640 Hudson dot Com. 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:09.320 A Sibling for Hudson dot com. The name said it 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:15.440 all and it worked. Three different women were interested in 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:19.480 having the Traits adopt their baby. They talked to them all, 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.560 screening for the best match, somebody they could see being 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:27.199 in their lives long term. That's how they settled on. 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:41.880 This birth mom. Elizabeth Jones, Matt. 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.000 And Laura Trade were dedicated to growing their family. It 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.160 was their biggest dream. They made a website where they 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:51.520 told their story, shared family photos, and made a heartfelt 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:55.880 plead they wanted to adopt a baby. That's how they 0:11:55.920 --> 0:12:00.000 met Elizabeth Jones, a birth mother who was five months pregnant. 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.840 She said that The reason they were adopting out their 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.400 child was because she wanted to focus on her career 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.520 and her husband did too, and they had two children already, 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.640 so they couldn't afford to raise another child, and they 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:18.360 felt like the best thing to do was to find 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.520 another good family for that baby. 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:24.640 Elizabeth lived in Virginia, across the country from the Traits 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:29.320 in California. At first, the couple took it slow, made 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:32.160 no assumptions, and took time to get to know each 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:36.240 other over the phone. But after those initial calls, Laura 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:38.559 started talking to Elizabeth every day. 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.000 We were like growing this amazing bond, talking every day 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:46.960 and really building a strong relationship. We had video calls. 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.720 Matt and Hudson got to meet her through a video call. 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:52.360 She kind of felt like a sister to me. 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:57.680 Elizabeth was stoic, thoughtful, she'd been in the military, and 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:01.560 she took things seriously. After a few weeks of talking 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:05.400 every day, Elizabeth told the Traits that she'd made her decision. 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.640 She told us, I really would love it if you 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.280 guys would adopt my baby, and we found out at 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:12.320 that time as a girl. 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:19.480 They were overjoyed with the news. Laura and Elizabeth they'd 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:23.280 become really close over the past month. Elizabeth felt like 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:26.959 the right person, someone who could be a positive addition 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.880 to their family, part of the baby's story. 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:32.439 We wanted the baby to know where she came from. 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.679 We were always going to be honest about that, and 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.280 hopefully we could all have a really great relationship. 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:42.520 So the Traits began the legal process, finding adoption attorneys 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:47.000 and starting the paperwork. All the while they stayed cautiously optimistic. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:51.400 You never know if the birth mother is going to 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:54.640 change their mind at the last minute, so we're remaining hopeful, 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:57.920 but we're trying to kind of guard ourselves a little 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:01.160 bit in the process because the baby has a right 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.640 to stay with the birth mother if that's what they choose. 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:05.880 But Elizabeth was all in. 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:09.760 She kept telling us this baby girl is yours, and 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:12.959 I have no plans whatsoever backing out, Like I really 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.959 want you guys to be her family, and this is 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:17.520 a great match. And we were like, this is a 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.280 great match, and we love you guys, and we're so 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.400 looking forward to doing this together as a unit. 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.640 So the Traits started preparing a nursery for their baby. 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.200 She sent us ultrasound photos. 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:34.080 She even mailed us a stuffed unicorn with the baby's 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:35.720 heartbeat in it, like recorded in it. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.200 So we were like elated setting up the baby's. 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.120 Room here at our house and we put the little 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.560 unicorn in there on the ultrasound photo. 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.440 When Elizabeth was seven months pregnant, Laura decided to fly 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:53.320 out to Virginia to meet her. Even though it was 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:56.440 their first time meeting in person, it felt like a reunion. 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.000 Laura greeted her with teary eyes and a long hug. 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.840 We spent like every waking hour together, Like we went 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:07.040 shopping for baby clothes together. We picked up a like 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:10.720 a going home outfit, and we toured the hospital where 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.480 she was going to give birth. We did a professional 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.480 photo shoot, and I had made us shirts. Our shirts 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.840 said birth mom Strong and my shirt said adoptive mom Strong. 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:23.600 So I brought those out there with me and we 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:25.120 had our professional photo shoot. 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.280 In the photos, Laura and Elizabeth are standing in a 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.560 wooded area, arm in arm. They're each making half of 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:34.360 a heart with one hand holding the heart shape up 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:38.440 to the camera. They're beaming, and they're matching shirts. The 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:42.000 Treats sent this photo out as their holiday card. 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.400 That weekend We also went to meet with the adoption 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:50.000 attorney and she signed a power of attorney giving us 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:53.040 rights to make medical decisions for the baby girl. 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:56.920 Before she flew back home. Laura wanted to join Elizabeth 0:15:56.960 --> 0:16:01.400 at her doctor's appointment, and Elizabeth agreed. 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.960 We were waiting in the waiting room and she had said, Oh, 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.200 I forgot my water in the car, can run out 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.720 and get my bottle of water. I'm really thirsty. I 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:13.560 was like, sure, I'll be right back, but then when 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:17.280 I came back into the waiting room, she was gone. 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:19.600 So I had told the nurses at the front desk 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:22.880 you know who I was, and thought I'd like to 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.640 go back with her, and they were kind of giving 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:27.360 me the run around, so I started texting her. 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.600 Elizabeth texted back that they brought her into the exam 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.560 room and while she was there looking at the baby 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:39.480 on the ultrasound monitor, Elizabeth was overwhelmed with emotion. She 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.480 asked Laura to wait outside. 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:44.960 I was feeling for her because I'm here to see 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.200 an ultrasound with her, and this must be hard for 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:50.520 the birth mom to have this person in the room 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.560 with her, and she's going to give up her baby 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:52.800 to me. 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:56.520 Matt hadn't come on this trip, so Laura called him 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:57.480 to get his opinion. 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:02.080 You don't want to push of birth mother, right because 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:05.199 this is a huge decision you're making. And so you know, 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:08.760 I've said before how empathetic Laura is and how she 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:11.600 puts herself in other people's shoes, and you know, she 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:16.119 was doing that, like feeling what this woman must have 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.000 felt having to make this decision. So it made it 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:23.320 understandable that there were some emotions going around. 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.240 After the appointment, Laura knew she had to have a 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.240 hard conversation with Elizabeth. 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:31.960 Elizabeth and I had a heart to heart. 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:38.440 I remember being like, Elizabeth, it's okay if you want 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.680 to keep baby girl, Like the best place for her 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.560 is with her family. If you want to keep the baby, 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:48.000 it's okay, and maybe you should keep the baby, you know. 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:52.280 But we really did bond during that conversation, and she 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.560 just ended up reassuring me that it is what she wanted, 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.000 and so I just kind of hung in there and 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:05.359 tried to just kind of ignore my gut feelings and 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.200 just try to see it from her point of view. 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:12.760 Laura flew home feeling a bit nervous. She had expected 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.639 to go into the exam room and talk to the doctor, 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:20.160 but she empathized with Elizabeth's pain and she respected her. 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:24.840 After all, Elizabeth was giving their family the biggest gift, 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.640 and she never asked for a penny in return. 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.920 At no time did she ever ask us to give 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.399 her money, you know which some birth mothers do. I 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:36.760 pay for my rent or pay for my bills. I 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:37.320 need help. 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:41.040 I remember her telling me, no, I don't want any money. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:43.600 I want you to put that money towards baby girl. 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.879 The baby's do date was in late December, and the 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:49.840 couple decided on a name for her. 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:51.919 When we found out that the baby was due right 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:56.080 around the holidays, we decided to name her Noela. We 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.879 thought it was a fitting name for the time that 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:00.800 she was due. 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:05.560 Laura and Elizabeth kept talking every day and the conversations 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:10.840 were intense, especially when in late November, Elizabeth started having 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.639 pre term contractions, just like Laura had in her pregnancy 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:15.240 with Hudson. 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.199 She was in lots of pain. She had gone to 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:22.680 the er several times, to the point where they put 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.320 in something called a circlage. 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.320 Its stitches in the cervix to prevent the baby from 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:31.280 being born too early. Elizabeth kept the trades updated on 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:32.800 what her doctors were saying. 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.000 The doctor around this time also didn't amno and she 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:39.280 said that the doctor said everything looked good, but she 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:41.800 had to be on bedrest, and the doctor was okay 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.840 with taking the circlause out and that it was better 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:48.040 to take the baby out now to not do damage 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:51.960 to her cervix. The baby girl's LUNs were fully developed 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:54.800 at that time, so she was begging us to come 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.080 back out for the delivery of the baby. 0:19:58.720 --> 0:20:03.720 Things were happening quickly. It was scary. Elizabeth said her 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:07.280 doctors were recommending they removed the stitches and prepare for 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:11.240 an early delivery. So the couple jumped into action. 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:17.840 We were in Arizona visiting my family for Thanksgiving, so 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:22.600 we're scrambling around trying to change light reservations and reaching 0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:25.760 out to the lawyer, and it was just like, Okay, 0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:28.360 it's time to get into action, to get out there 0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:29.680 and finally meet our daughter. 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.360 The Traits and their son rushed to Virginia the day 0:20:50.400 --> 0:20:54.680 after Thanksgiving and rented an airbnb. They had packed everything 0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:58.600 they needed to bring home their daughter, Noela, and things 0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:00.439 with Elizabeth were progressing quickly. 0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:04.199 Right after she got her sirklage out, she came to 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:06.440 the airbnb. They had said that she was three and 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:10.520 a half centimeters dilated at that time. She spent a 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:12.600 lot of time with us after that, and we were 0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:14.399 just trying to take care of our best we could. 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.639 Every time she had a contraction, she was moaning and groaning, 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:21.280 complaining about how much pain she was in. So we 0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:23.240 were just trying to be there for her to support 0:21:23.240 --> 0:21:26.000 her through it, just trying to love on her and 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:27.720 just take care of her. 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:31.840 They also took care of Elizabeth's two young kids. 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.080 We were taking the kids out her kids out while 0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:39.520 she rested, and one of the kids noticed the car 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:42.399 seat in her rental car and asked us, oh, is 0:21:42.440 --> 0:21:43.199 that for the baby. 0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:46.920 At that point we were like, oh, they know about 0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:47.840 the baby, okay. 0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:50.879 It was a relief that Elizabeth had talked to her 0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:52.120 kids about the adoption. 0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:55.479 Our son and her kids got along really well and 0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:58.000 spent a lot of time playing and going to various 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:01.679 activities together. Just reassured us like, Hey, this is going 0:22:01.760 --> 0:22:03.720 to be great. You know, our families are going to 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:06.160 know each other and they're going to grow up knowing 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:08.480 each other, and that's going to be a beautiful thing. 0:22:10.840 --> 0:22:13.399 It was also important to the Traits to be honest 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:15.840 with Hudson throughout the adoption process. 0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:20.280 He was excited about having a brother's sister. It was 0:22:20.320 --> 0:22:23.480 something that he really wanted to so we were telling 0:22:23.520 --> 0:22:25.679 him that we were there to meet his baby's sister. 0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:28.240 After a week, the baby hadn't come. 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:31.000 I mean, that's a good thing. We want her to 0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:33.560 be healthy, and so we had told her we were 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:36.359 going to go home the next day. I have school 0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:38.600 to get back to and Hudson had school to get 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:41.520