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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little more sol of

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Speaker 1: a two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious. Hmm,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend never came home after a night out. I

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Speaker 1: think she's lying about where she was.

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Speaker 3: Of coorse, she might not be your girl.

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Speaker 4: My girlfriend is unemployed and occasionally goes out on week

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Speaker 4: nights with her girlfriends in a major city by me.

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Speaker 4: We've been dating four and a half years and living

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Speaker 4: together for four of them. Red flags at the top

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Speaker 4: of the story. That's great, by the way. This comes

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Speaker 4: from user throwaway four five three a m. And if

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Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 4: r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. Her email alerts come through

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Speaker 4: on our shared iPad, and I saw that she took

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Speaker 4: an Uber ride and it looks like she dropped her

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Speaker 4: friends off as well because the Uber route passes their homes.

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Speaker 4: She was dropped off outside my apartment at two am.

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Speaker 4: I received the alert afterward and became suspicious.

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Speaker 1: I can use.

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Speaker 4: Find my iPhone on our iPad and I can see

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Speaker 4: that her phone is close by about four blocks away

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Speaker 4: on the same street.

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Speaker 1: Uber says she was dropped off here where I live.

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Speaker 4: It's all dense apartments and I can't just walk over

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Speaker 4: there to see what's up. It's likely there are several

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Speaker 4: apartments in the building where the GPS says she is,

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Speaker 4: and the GPS could also be off by a building

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Speaker 4: or two on either say front or back.

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Speaker 1: I'm freaking out.

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Speaker 4: I've called and texted beginning at four forty five am

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Speaker 4: with no reply.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, bro, she's busy right now.

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Speaker 2: Can't come to the phone, can't come home.

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Speaker 4: I've called each of her girlfriends twice and no one

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Speaker 4: has picked up. I'm so worried. Is she okay? Is

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Speaker 4: she cheating? Seriously, guys, any advice right now would be

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Speaker 4: really helpful to me. My heart is beating out of

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Speaker 4: my chest. Do I call her more?

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Speaker 5: Do I wait?

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Speaker 4: Do I call the police? Major update? Her friend just called.

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Speaker 4: She said she spent the night with her. This is

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Speaker 4: a clear cut a lie.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting off Reddit for a bit, but we'll update

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Speaker 1: after we speak. I'm doing my best to be composed

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Speaker 1: right now. Wish me luck. So update.

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Speaker 4: This is insane. Her friend called me and said that

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Speaker 4: they all stayed at the friend's apartment and uber and

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Speaker 4: iicloud tell me that's a lie. So I asked to

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Speaker 4: speak with my girlfriend and was told, oh, she just left.

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Speaker 4: So I called her phone and she did not pick up.

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Speaker 4: I'm watching iCloud. The phone is not moved. I think

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Speaker 4: her friends just nailed her. Coffin shut In any case,

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Speaker 4: coming from the friend's apartment, she can only come from

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Speaker 4: two directions. The place where iCloud says she is is

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Speaker 4: in a different direction. When I see her start to move,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to wait outside around the corner and catch

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Speaker 4: her walking back from an impossible direction on the story

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Speaker 4: she's going to try to sell me. Her friend called

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Speaker 4: me at nine am and sounded ferantic. Oh my god,

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Speaker 4: your girlfriend came back to my place last night and

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Speaker 4: just fell asleep. We both got really wasted. So sorry

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Speaker 4: that no one called or texted you. But I knew

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Speaker 4: this was a lie because this friend's apartment is nowhere

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Speaker 4: near the apartment four blocks up the road from me.

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Speaker 4: I have no ideas apartment this is. I said that's

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Speaker 4: okay and asked to speak to my girlfriend, but was

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Speaker 4: told I couldn't because she just left. Typically it should

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Speaker 4: take about twenty minutes to get from friend's apartment to

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Speaker 4: my apartment. More than an hour goes by and still

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Speaker 4: no girlfriend. I decided to call her, and I could

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Speaker 4: hear that beep at the end of the ring tone,

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Speaker 4: signaling me that she's on the other line with someone.

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Speaker 4: I watched her on find my iPhone, leave the mystery apartment,

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Speaker 4: stop on a street corner for about fifteen minutes, then proceed.

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Speaker 1: To walk a different route. What she was doing was

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Speaker 1: buying some groceries.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't groceries.

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Speaker 3: I'll tell you that sounds like a plan.

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Speaker 4: It's a plan to deceive, a conspiracy of the highest order.

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Speaker 6: She's probably also getting op like some snacks like oh,

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Speaker 6: I got you breakfast, I love you.

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Speaker 2: Here's a coffee.

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Speaker 1: Imagine she's actually getting breakfast for the other guy.

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Speaker 3: That's what she's doing.

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Speaker 4: She's been living with this guy for four years and

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Speaker 4: she's doing this to him. She's got no job, doesn't

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Speaker 4: sound like she's trying to get one. So when she

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Speaker 4: finally did walk in at ten fifteen in the morning,

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Speaker 4: her excuse was sorry, the shuttle was super slow today,

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Speaker 4: plus I stopped to get some fresh fruit.

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Speaker 1: No apology no, nothing.

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Speaker 4: She's acting like I'm a psychopath for caring where she

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Speaker 4: had been all night, even though it's uncharacteristic for her

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Speaker 4: to stay out all night. In fact, she usually calls

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Speaker 4: or texts me when she's on her way home from

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Speaker 4: the city. Okay, so we go inside and I.

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Speaker 1: Say, why don't you tell me about your night?

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Speaker 4: She goes, we just went to the clurb.

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Speaker 1: That's it. In the clurb, we all cheat. That's her

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Speaker 1: model right there.

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Speaker 4: I asked if they stayed there all night. She told

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Speaker 4: me that she stayed there pretty late. This is another lie.

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Speaker 4: Uber says she was picked up at the club at

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Speaker 4: one fifty am, and the club's here close at four.

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Speaker 4: On a typical night, she'll come home between three and

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Speaker 4: four am. So I ask if they went anywhere else.

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Speaker 4: Now we're pretty well said, so we went straight from

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Speaker 4: the club to my friend's apartment. When I got there,

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Speaker 4: I passed out on the couch. This makes absolutely no

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Speaker 4: sense because the Uber receipt clearly states that she was

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Speaker 4: dropped off at my apartment. At this point, I say

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Speaker 4: to her, are you sure you're telling me everything?

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Speaker 1: And she gets heated.

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Speaker 4: If you I already have a father and an over

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Speaker 4: protective brother. Why the f can I just go out

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Speaker 4: with my friends for one night without you all over

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Speaker 4: my butt about it? Side note, she goes out with

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Speaker 4: her friends alone two to three nights a week, and

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Speaker 4: I let that happen.

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Speaker 1: It's like she doesn't constantly go out with them.

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Speaker 4: I was gonna pause really quickly to be like, opee,

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Speaker 4: this is kind of your fault because you have been

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Speaker 4: dating this girl. I don't know how long she's been employed,

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Speaker 4: but you've been living with her for four years, her

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Speaker 4: not having a job, her not having any responsibilities. At

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Speaker 4: some point, you have enabled that behavior to continue.

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Speaker 3: You have enabled it. I think he's in the clear now. Also,

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Speaker 3: she's going out on weekdays. He can't be going out

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Speaker 3: on week days all the time. Do we know how

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Speaker 3: old they are?

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Speaker 1: I don't think we have ages. I would assume this

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Speaker 1: is twenties, early twenties, early twenties.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't know any better. This is how all relationships

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Speaker 3: are to him.

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Speaker 4: Because they've been together four and a half years, they've

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Speaker 4: been living together for four of those years, so they

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Speaker 4: moved in after six months of dating. I mean that

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Speaker 4: sounds like young early twenties activities. Honestly, so we're getting

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Speaker 4: into some confrontation here, I think. At this point, I

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Speaker 4: tell her about the Uber ride receipt and show her

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Speaker 4: screenshots of the Find my iPhone application. I show her

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Speaker 4: a journal of the things I attempted to do to

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Speaker 4: get in touch with her, and explained how worried I was.

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Speaker 4: Her response was ef you. Why the effort you accused

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Speaker 4: me of this crap. I constantly try to tag myself

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Speaker 4: on Facebook and it shows up as the wrong location.

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Speaker 4: My phone is all fed up. Anyway, I'm not lying.

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Speaker 4: I went right to friend's apartment. Okay, so why does

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Speaker 4: Uber have confirmation that you were dropped off here? And

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Speaker 4: this is where the story breaks apart. Well, we dropped

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Speaker 4: all the girls off of the apartment first, and then

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Speaker 4: Uber took me here.

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Speaker 1: But I couldn't find the apartment keys anywhere.

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Speaker 4: So rather than calling you and waking you up or

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Speaker 4: ringing the buzzer, I decided to just walk to friend's apartment.

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Speaker 1: Which is oh dookie.

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Speaker 3: Why she making it more complicated.

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Speaker 2: Let's see how big does I can get.

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Speaker 4: These people don't read like their matches whatsoever. This guy's like,

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Speaker 4: I have a journal of the things I attempted to

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Speaker 4: do to reach out to you, and clearly is responsible

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Speaker 4: enough to provide enough for both of them to live there.

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Speaker 4: And she's going out to the clubs on a weekday,

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Speaker 4: cheating on her man with terrible excuses. There is a disparity.

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Speaker 4: So she was in a simple club outfit with no jacket.

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Speaker 4: It was fourteen degrees last night. The streets and sidewalks

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Speaker 4: here are literally sheets of ice.

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Speaker 1: There's no way she walked for thirty five.

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Speaker 4: Minutes at two in the morning in six inch heels

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Speaker 4: in those conditions through the ghetto and thirteen degrees.

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Speaker 1: No chance.

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Speaker 4: She tells me, I'm an a hole and need to

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Speaker 4: believe her. She tells me she's telling the truth. She

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Speaker 4: even says, check my phone, and miraculously there's no call

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Speaker 4: log of whoever she was speaking with from around nine

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Speaker 4: forty five when I tried calling, and there's a full

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Speaker 4: text convo of her speaking with her friend about how

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Speaker 4: they spent the night at friends apartment.

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Speaker 3: Didn't you have the wrong number?

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Speaker 4: Well, clearly, with this completely not manufactured evidence, I must

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Speaker 4: forgive you. There's no other explanation. I literally had your location.

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Speaker 4: Do you not know how locations were?

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Speaker 1: Mind?

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Speaker 7: You?

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Speaker 4: These texts are all sent during the time period where

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Speaker 4: I see her on Find my iPhone leaving the apartment

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Speaker 4: to hang out on a random corner. These girls were

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Speaker 4: straight plotting, so I calmly told her that I'm not

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Speaker 4: buying it and that I'm ending the relationship immediately. Yes,

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Speaker 4: I packed a large bag in front of her with

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Speaker 4: my clothing and laptop, and I'm leaving within the next

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Speaker 4: half hour. She's basically pretending this isn't happening. She's acting

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Speaker 4: cool about it. She's just saying, in a normal speaking voice, Well,

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Speaker 4: if this is what you want to do, I won't

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Speaker 4: stop you.

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Speaker 1: So that's that.

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Speaker 4: I think she thinks I'm going to flip at the

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Speaker 4: last moment and stay. I think that she thinks she

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Speaker 4: can push the limits and win. I'm not wrong, right, No,

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Speaker 4: you are not wrong. You are doing the exact right thing.

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Speaker 4: If Find my iPhone says you're up the block, don't

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Speaker 4: tell me you stayed a ten minute car ride away.

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Speaker 4: The GPS is not inaccurate. This is effing reliable science.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what will happen to me from here

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Speaker 4: on out. I've got a six month expensive gym membership

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Speaker 4: I need to deal with. We had a mountain trip

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Speaker 4: and Florida trip planned within the next thirty days, plus

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Speaker 4: all of our friends overlap. In any case, I don't

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Speaker 4: know if she cheated, but I'm ninety nine point nine

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Speaker 4: nine nine percent certain that she stayed somewhere else and

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Speaker 4: is actively trying to cover it up. I think that

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Speaker 4: might be some coping mechanism. What do you think that?

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Speaker 4: I mean, clearly, I know what I think, Riley. What

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Speaker 4: happened that night.

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Speaker 3: We know what happened. If you really want to get

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Speaker 3: some more information, we'll see how loyal your friends are.

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Speaker 3: If this isn't enough evidence for me, which it already is,

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Speaker 3: I would go and bribe. I'd try and get some

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Speaker 3: information and be like, hey, like I was really worried

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Speaker 3: about you know, my girlfriend. Can you kind of like

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Speaker 3: tell me what happened? Because like, also, smaller stuff has

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Speaker 3: not been working out really well. I don't know. I

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Speaker 3: would figure out a story where the girlfriend maybe might

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Speaker 3: be doing something mean to one of the girlfriends, like yeah,

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Speaker 3: I saw that she had like these certain type of

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Speaker 3: shoes at her house and they weren't really hers, and

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Speaker 3: then that person's like I'm missing a pair of shoes,

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Speaker 3: or like oh, yeah, I have this dress. It's like

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Speaker 3: I'm missing this dress.

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Speaker 4: First you have to take the shoes, then you have

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Speaker 4: to pin it on the girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: There's a couple of layers there. But you know what

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Speaker 1: the good news is is that you can just.

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Speaker 5: Move right on along.

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Speaker 4: She's actually trying to place blame on me for being possessive.

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Speaker 4: I was called a psycho and a stalker, and she's

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Speaker 4: acting like it doesn't even matter if I leave f.

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Speaker 1: This, I'm out nice.

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Speaker 4: And by the way, we never want you to say

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Speaker 4: f this to us, because you can constantly listen to full.

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Speaker 1: Episodes with stories like this. All you have to do

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Speaker 1: is go to Spotify or have a podcast wherever you get.

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Speaker 7: Your podcasts from and just search okay, storytime, and then

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Speaker 7: you can have forty eight days worth of can secutive

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Speaker 7: podcast content twenty four times forty eight hours at the least.

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Speaker 1: So we do have a little.

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Speaker 4: Bit more story left. Honestly, I think he's got the

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Speaker 4: right mentality here. Get out of there, dude, enjoy your friend.

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Speaker 4: I know you got some trips coming up. Make the

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Speaker 4: most out of it.

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Speaker 1: Go on those trips.

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Speaker 4: I mean, if they're not like you know, like built

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Speaker 4: for romance. Take somebody else. This person was not the

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Speaker 4: right one for you anyway. You need someone who was thoughtful.

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Speaker 4: This really started with Op being worried. Op was like concerned,

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Speaker 4: like my girlfriend didn't come home, and then it just

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Speaker 4: evolved into oh god, it's this. If you've got any

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Speaker 4: criticism or kind words for me as I start my

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Speaker 4: new life, please comment. I'll come back on once I

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Speaker 4: get to my parents' house later this afternoon.

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Speaker 1: My plan is to live.

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Speaker 4: There until I can figure out new living accommodations. Finally,

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Speaker 4: thank you all for the advice and tremendous amount of

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Speaker 4: support this morning. I was in a really bad place

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Speaker 4: and don't know what I would have done without aw

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Speaker 4: Slash Relationships. I feel like I was having a panic

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Speaker 4: at Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

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Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. Honestly, get tested.

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Speaker 4: Who knows how long she's been cheating on you. This

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Speaker 4: might just be the first time that you caught her.

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Speaker 1: You never know. Do you already have the conviction to

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Speaker 1: just move forward? Which is what you need?

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Speaker 4: And I think the reason she might be so cool

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Speaker 4: about this where it's like, you know, cause she's kind

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Speaker 4: of in hobo mode. Right now, she's probably thinking, I

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Speaker 4: can just go to the guy I was with last night.

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Speaker 1: I'll just go to his place.

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Speaker 4: She might be thinking that, who knows, But you don't

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Speaker 4: have to think about her anymore because that's over.

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Speaker 1: Just like this story.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend is furious because my brother crashed on my

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Speaker 3: couch after a parting.

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Speaker 1: I mean, did he ruin the couch though? Did he

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Speaker 1: keep the shoes on?

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Speaker 3: So my brother and I live in different parts of

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Speaker 3: the country and only really see each other once every

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Speaker 3: few months. He was going to be in my town

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Speaker 3: from last Wednesday until Saturday evening, so we made plans

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Speaker 3: to go clubbing on Friday night with some friends of mine.

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Speaker 3: We hung out and came home around four, and I

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Speaker 3: only have one bed in my apartment, so my brother

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Speaker 3: crashed on my couch. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 3: throw Away Something the Couch and if you want to

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Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to our size. Okay, story time,

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Speaker 3: selb bred it. So we both woke up a few

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Speaker 3: hours later, grabbed lunch and went to the airport, and

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Speaker 3: my brother headed back over to where he lives. After that,

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Speaker 3: he sent me a text when his flight got in

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Speaker 3: safely and that it was now. My boyfriend and I

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Speaker 3: don't live together, but I stay his place quite often,

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Speaker 3: or he'll stay at mine. He usually works two weeks in,

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Speaker 3: two weeks out, and he came home yesterday morning, so

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Speaker 3: naturally I was pretty excited to see him. I picked

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Speaker 3: him up and we came back to my place. Afterward,

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Speaker 3: while chatting, I mentioned that my brother slept night at

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Speaker 3: my place, and he kind of got weird. I kind

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Speaker 3: of prodded him to tell me what was up, because

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Speaker 3: for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what

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Speaker 3: would cause him to go so quiet and soul and

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Speaker 3: when just five minutes before we were having a flowing conversation.

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Speaker 3: He told me it was nothing, so I just left it,

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Speaker 3: and then later asked him again because he was still in

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Speaker 3: a bad mood. He said that he didn't like the

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Speaker 3: idea of another man staying at my place, regardless of

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Speaker 3: who it is, and that it will not be happening

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Speaker 3: in the future. No more men, no matter if they

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Speaker 3: are kin. I really got confused here because it's my

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Speaker 3: brother sleeping on my couch for one night after we

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Speaker 3: hung out. It's not some stranger or hell, even a

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Speaker 3: guy friend of ours. It's my brother. I laughed it

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Speaker 3: off and said, you can't be serious, you have to

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Speaker 3: be joking, and he got really angry and left my place.

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Speaker 1: Hey, the trash just took itself out. Good job.

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Speaker 3: Last night, I got an angry text saying that as

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Speaker 3: his girlfriend, I have to respect his wishes. And while

329
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Speaker 3: I get respecting that your significant other wants compromise and

330
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Speaker 3: the works, isn't this ridiculous? I responded as asking him

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Speaker 3: why my brother sleeping all my couch was so bad?

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Speaker 3: He just said it just was, and that a proper

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00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 3: girlfriend doesn't let other men stay over alone with her,

334
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:17,440
Speaker 3: and that it's incredibly disrespectful to him. More confusion from me,

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Speaker 3: because again, this isn't some dude I brought home.

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Speaker 1: It's my brother.

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00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 3: So I tried talking to him after this, but I

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00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 3: got a message saying we'll talk when he's composed himself.

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Speaker 3: What am I to do? I really love my boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: but this is just confusing and I don't know how

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Speaker 3: to react. Also, I should know I've never had any

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Speaker 3: other guys alone in my place. Literally, only my boyfriend,

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00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,920
Speaker 3: apart from my brother, has ever been with me alone there.

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Speaker 3: The only other guys I've been there have been if

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00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,040
Speaker 3: I have a small group get together, and that's quite rare.

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Speaker 4: Wait, this is Opie's place, even worse insanity. It's breakup time, girl,

347
00:16:58,520 --> 00:16:59,320
Speaker 4: so we got to edit.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So my boyfriend and I have been texting the

349
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Speaker 3: past hour or so. What do you think he said?

350
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,440
Speaker 1: Do you have any guesses?

351
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 7: He's just being like, duh, I can't accept that other

352
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,440
Speaker 7: men exist.

353
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Speaker 1: That's me though.

354
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Speaker 4: I think he's just hyper, and he's also probably trying

355
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Speaker 4: to pull a power play proudet.

356
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Speaker 1: It feels very like alpha male, like duh. This is

357
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,000
Speaker 1: where a god, like a real man in a relationship

358
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,480
Speaker 1: demands from his partner.

359
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Speaker 4: And it's like, by the way, all those guys are

360
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:29,919
Speaker 4: just trying to sell you a course.

361
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Speaker 1: It's stupid.

362
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 4: Just be present with your partner and trust them, at

363
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Speaker 4: least with their siblings.

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Speaker 1: This guy has just showed you that he's trash. That's all.

365
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Speaker 3: Okay. So my boyfriend I had been texting the past

366
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 3: hour or so. He sent me a hey, and I

367
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 3: was kind of in a pissy mood after he brushed

368
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,879
Speaker 3: me off last night, so I simply replied with the

369
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,760
Speaker 3: or you were ready to talk? He replied, okay, So

370
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Speaker 3: I asked him what the deal was with my brother

371
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Speaker 3: sleeping on the couch. He's not some random guy from

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00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,960
Speaker 3: a bar. He's not even a guy for He's more

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00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,359
Speaker 3: than that. He's my brother. I grew up with him,

374
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 3: and there's absolutely no reason for him to worry or

375
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 3: freak out in that situation because it's my brother, of

376
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 3: all people. There is a literally nothing threatening in that situation,

377
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,640
Speaker 3: not physically towards me or towards our relationship. His response,

378
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 3: I just am not comfortable with that. I know it's

379
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,120
Speaker 3: your brother, but I think there are boundaries that should

380
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,280
Speaker 3: be in place. Why didn't he go back to the

381
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 3: friend's place he stayed at on Wednesday and Thursday. My response,

382
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 3: you're not answering my question and just telling me what

383
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 3: you told me last night. Also, my apartment was closer

384
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,360
Speaker 3: to the club than his friend's place. Him. We've been

385
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 3: together for some time now, and I think as a couple,

386
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,960
Speaker 3: it looks bad when you let other guys stay over,

387
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:50,120
Speaker 3: regardless of who they are to you. I would never

388
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 3: do something to you like that, and I think it's

389
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 3: only fair that you reciprocate that. It's hard to explain

390
00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 3: things because I know you can't see them from my perspective, continued,

391
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,360
Speaker 3: You should not really need other guys so close to you.

392
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 3: Why couldn't you, Josh, put your brother in a cab

393
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 3: and send him on his way, just like we normally

394
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 3: do with all our other friends. Anyway, I'm in a

395
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,440
Speaker 3: meeting right now, and I'll talk to you later. Enjoy

396
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,679
Speaker 3: your day, babe. Bye. We got an edit too. I

397
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 3: like the part where he didn't answer any questions.

398
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, where he just made this all your fault.

399
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 4: Essentially, He's just like, Yeah, it's actually just you being

400
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 4: incredibly disrespectful.

401
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 1: Does he not know what a brother is? Is he confused?

402
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 4: Did he hit his head recently? What are the passable

403
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 4: excuses for like thinking this way? Like, are there even any.

404
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,440
Speaker 3: No, it's just insecure, it's coming from a place of insecurity,

405
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 3: or is thinking some really messed up things?

406
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,640
Speaker 4: I don't think we have that, But it's like, regardless,

407
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 4: he needs to find another one and it shouldn't be

408
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 4: with you, op, because if this is what he's doing now, like,

409
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 4: just imagine the other things that are gonna come down

410
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:52,959
Speaker 4: the line.

411
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 3: Edit too, everyone, I don't even know how the heck

412
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 3: to react right now. This is the first time he's

413
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 3: ever acted like this. He's met my brother before and

414
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 3: they've always gone along so well. Comments Commed one. The

415
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 3: whole disrespectful to him thing screams that he thinks of

416
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 3: you as his as in property to me. Comment two,

417
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 3: This is pretty disturbing behavior, in my opinion, very controlling

418
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 3: and unreasonable. I'd be very wary if I were you.

419
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 3: I think you need to get to the bottom of

420
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 3: this before your relationship progresses any farther. Very controlling stuff.

421
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 3: I'm only thought here would be and perhaps this is

422
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 3: blowing it way out of proportion, but does he have

423
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 3: some kind of traumatic brother sister relationship thing in his

424
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 3: past somewhere? Ollie replies, He's an only child, so no

425
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,479
Speaker 3: chance of any trying to ties brother slash sister events

426
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 3: in his past, so he probably doesn't even understand how

427
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 3: brothers and sisters work.

428
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 4: Like Dakota, It's just like if you cannot trust your

429
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 4: partner with their own sibling, if you're gonna feel disrespected

430
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 4: by the presence of just another male, regardless of biological relation,

431
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 4: then you are not built for a relationship right now.

432
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,440
Speaker 4: You have other priorities and other things that you need

433
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 4: to sort out.

434
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 6: I don't know if you're built for anything. Right now,

435
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 6: my guy is trying to pretty much own his girlfriend.

436
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 6: He has no idea how relationships at work, and yeah,

437
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 6: all of that if that's just how he is with

438
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 6: just guys in general, Like, oh, you can't have any

439
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,639
Speaker 6: male friends along with any male siblings.

440
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 2: This guy's out of pocket.

441
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: It's so over.

442
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 3: So against my better judgment, I did not immediately break

443
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 3: up with my boyfriend. I tried convincing myself it was

444
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 3: a one time thing, maybe he was just having a

445
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 3: rough patch, and I tried pushing it down. I did

446
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 3: not tell my brother what happened, and he replied saying

447
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 3: he'd always thought of my boyfriend and him were cool

448
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 3: with each other at the very least. He then told me,

449
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,919
Speaker 3: my boyfriend is being nuts and if I need to

450
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 3: crash for a few days, I could come up to

451
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,439
Speaker 3: his end. So the rest of the week remained tense

452
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 3: with my boyfriend, but closer to the weekend it was

453
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 3: relaxed ish. We went on a date, hung out with

454
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 3: some friends at a bar together, and yet, for the

455
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 3: life of me, I could have figured out reasons for

456
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,400
Speaker 3: his outburst. So on Sunday, I asked him again now

457
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,159
Speaker 3: that you seem in a better mood, Would it be

458
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,680
Speaker 3: so bad if I asked what was up last week?

459
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: And once again mood went from friendly and relaxed to arctic.

460
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 3: He simply asked me if i'd keep bringing up yes

461
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 3: when we were doing okay, because it's.

462
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: Highly concerning and to break up worthy.

463
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 2: This guy's tunnel visioned as heck man.

464
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 3: I got pretty angry at him and told him to

465
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 3: leave my apartment. Since Sunday, I've been stewing and just

466
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 3: looking back at a relationship. Sure, I have my friends,

467
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 3: but we hang out with him much less. The ones

468
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 3: we do hang out with are more his friends and

469
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 3: people that he is cool with being with. It was rough,

470
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: but looking back on it, I started seeing controlling behavior

471
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 3: from him that I had never taken up due to

472
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 3: eat either just being head over heels and willing to

473
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 3: compromise on everything, and by compromise I mean roll over

474
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 3: and give up. We talked last week and I gave

475
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 3: him an ultimatum, something I never expected to give my relationship.

476
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 3: Either you sit and try to talk this out with

477
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 3: me like a rational person, nobs answers and no dodging questions,

478
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,439
Speaker 3: or we break up. Instead of having a conversation, he

479
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 3: broke down started telling me I was the best thing

480
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 3: he's ever had, and that he has issues that he

481
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 3: can't even begin to explain, and that he doesn't want

482
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 3: to lose me. By the way, you will never lose

483
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 3: us if you join us on your favorite podcast platform.

484
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 3: Just search up Okay Storytime and what will be either.

485
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 4: Dakota forty eight days later and you will have listened

486
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 4: to the entire Okay Storytime catalog. However, that's forty eight

487
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 4: consecutive days, non stop.

488
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 3: Anyways, back to the story. After you see one red flag,

489
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 3: it seems like there's a a pile of them. How

490
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 3: big does one red flag need to be in order

491
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: to see all the small ones.

492
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 4: It's not even that this is necessarily the biggest red

493
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 4: flag ever, it's just more like such a telling indicator

494
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 4: that like, well, this isn't a person who you want.

495
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 1: To be in a relationship with.

496
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 4: He's insecure about your brother, and it's more like just

497
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 4: like on the basis like principle that he is a man,

498
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 4: that's ridiculous, and now for him to be like, well,

499
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 4: it's like I have all this stuff and all this

500
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 4: these things that these problems that you can't even begin

501
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 4: to understand. It's like, yeah, I can't understand because you're

502
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 4: not gonna talk to me about it. So if you're

503
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 4: literally not gonna say anything, if you're not going to

504
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 4: explain yourself whatsoever, then there's no way forward. Even if

505
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 4: you do explain yourself, OPI still has the right to

506
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 4: be like, all right, well, it's nice to know at

507
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 4: least where your head's at. However, I don't think I

508
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 4: can be with you still. So it's all up to

509
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 4: this guy on whether or not he wants to even

510
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 4: try to be honest. But if I were OP, I'd

511
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 4: be done.

512
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 3: I'd be out of there, girl. But we got the

513
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 3: end of the story right here now. I'm sorry if

514
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 3: this is the part that makes me seem like a witch,

515
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 3: but it wasn't the answer I wanted or deserved, not

516
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 3: when I've been the one rolling over and giving him

517
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 3: whatever throughout our entire relationship. So I told him that

518
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 3: it was best if we didn't see each other anymore,

519
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 3: that he should leave my apartment because he was about

520
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: to love bomb you.

521
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 1: Here we go.

522
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 3: This is gonna make some people mad. Yes, let me

523
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 3: man up and talk to you about my issues. Yeah,

524
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 3: if you have something like that, great, But it seems

525
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 3: like it was about to become a cycle.

526
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 1: To OP being like, it's not the answer I wanted.

527
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 4: Op, you didn't get one. You literally didn't even get

528
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 4: an answer. You got an excuse, which is I've got

529
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 4: so many problems. Knock, knock, who's there. Oh, it's the

530
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 4: universal human experience. Everyone has a lot of problems. Everyone

531
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 4: deals with them every day. Like, if you're in a

532
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 4: like partnership with somebody, that's someone you can tell your

533
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 4: problems too. If there's real vulnerability and openness here, there

534
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 4: is a path forward. However, it doesn't feel like this

535
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 4: guy is gonna do that at all, And it feels

536
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 4: like he said that probably as a cheap attempt to

537
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 4: try to manipulate OP into just being like, oh, well,

538
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 4: he's got problem.

539
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 3: He left and spent almost two hours just sitting in

540
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 3: his car in front of my place before leaving when

541
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 3: it was close to midnight. So yeah, we woke up.

542
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 3: I feel more saddened than relieves, hoping I don't do

543
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 3: something stupid like waist down him or call him over

544
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 3: because I'm lonely or something like that. But yeah, we're

545
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,719
Speaker 3: not together anymore. It sucks, but it had to be done.

546
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 3: I think it's the best.

547
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

548
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 8: Here.

549
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 4: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

550
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 4: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

551
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 1: My daughter had an accident while playing with my husband,

552
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: but he refuses to apologize. And guys, this is a direct.

553
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 4: Okay storytime story came from one of you, So sorry

554
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 4: for the long post.

555
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: It is a long bumpy ride, so buckle up.

556
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 4: I am Sally thirty nine female and my partner John,

557
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 4: thirty seven male. We were in the kitchen hanging out

558
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 4: with our daughter Sandra female eleven and his eldest and

559
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 4: my stepdaughter Lily female seventeen. These are all fake names,

560
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 4: by the way. This comes from user trick Enthusiasm fifty

561
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 4: eight eighteen and if you want to submit your stories,

562
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So Sandra

563
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 4: and John were horsing around and Sandra tried to get

564
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 4: past him. He blocked her path. In the process of

565
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 4: him blocking her way, Sandra's hip got slammed into the counter.

566
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: She was hurt and upset.

567
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 4: She ran from the room and I was worried, and

568
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 4: I went to check on her with a gel ice

569
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 4: pack for her hip. It looked to me that John

570
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 4: bumped into her with his hip when she tried to

571
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 4: get by. Sandra also felt him push her with his hip.

572
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 4: She was angry at him, and I asked her what

573
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 4: it would take to make her feel better about the situation.

574
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 4: She jokingly said, I want to get back at daddy.

575
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 4: So I said, okay, let's go. So we ran in

576
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 4: there so she could see me. You get her revenge,

577
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 4: so to speak. I ran up to John and told

578
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 4: him I got to give him the old one two

579
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 4: for Sandra because he bumped into her and she got hurt.

580
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 4: I barely gave him just the weakest little tap on

581
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 4: his left pectoral muscle. I whispered to him, sorry, I

582
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,959
Speaker 4: was just trying to cheer her up and joke her

583
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 4: out of being mad at you. He said, it's fine,

584
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 4: it didn't hurt. I told John that if he just apologized,

585
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 4: she would feel better about the situation and it could

586
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 4: be resolved.

587
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: But he made.

588
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 4: Excuses and said everything except I'm sorry I hurt you.

589
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 3: Interesting just a little humility would go a long way here, John.

590
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 4: Maybe he has demand avoidance. He instead played the victim

591
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 4: and blamed Sandra bold move. Let's see if that one

592
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 4: pays off. I got angry and raised my voice. I

593
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 4: will admit that I have a temper and I do

594
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 4: tend to raise my voice when I get angry. I

595
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 4: said that all he has to say is sorry, without

596
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 4: all the excuses. We know it was just an accident

597
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 4: and there was no ill intent on his part, but

598
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 4: he is the adult and needs to show the kids

599
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 4: that he can take accountability for his part in the accident,

600
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 4: especially since she is the kid and she got hurt.

601
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 4: He just argued with me that he did nothing wrong

602
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 4: and if she didn't try to leave, she wouldn't have

603
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 4: gotten hurt. I argued that if he didn't block her

604
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 4: way when she tried to leave, she would have been fine.

605
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 4: He keeps bringing it back up again when other things happen.

606
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 4: Him and I were playing and I gave him a

607
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 4: little smack with the oven mitt he blocked and hurt

608
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 4: his pinky in the process. He made a not so

609
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 4: subtle comment about how he isn't mad and other people

610
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 4: should act like him when they get hurt and it's

611
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 4: no one's fault. I told him The difference is I

612
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 4: was apologizing to him and getting him ice for his fingers.

613
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 4: Though I did say he shouldn't have blocked because he

614
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 4: wouldn't have hurt his finger. I also pointed out that

615
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,239
Speaker 4: we were both adults and Sandra is a kid and

616
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 4: she got hurt. That's the point right there that I'm like,

617
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 4: where's your brain?

618
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 3: I don't know if he knows how to bother.

619
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: This feels like more like an interaction between siblings.

620
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 4: You're right, he's acting like instead of like a dad,

621
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 4: he's acting I like, it's like an older brother where

622
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 4: it's like, well.

623
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: No, uh, she want to got hurt or she didn't

624
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 1: try to leave, and it's like, that's not really what

625
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: it's about.

626
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 4: It's just about making sure she's fine doing the adult

627
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 4: thing and just going, oh, sorry, is your hip okay?

628
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: And then she'll go yeah, it's okay, and you go

629
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: all right, well we're okay. Right.

630
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 4: That's all that's all we were looking for here, At

631
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 4: least that's my sense. He said that Lily the older daughter,

632
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 4: So he said Lily saw it too and took his

633
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 4: side and didn't understand why I was mad at him.

634
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: She didn't see him bump into her.

635
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 4: She never said that to me or when I was

636
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 4: in the room, so who knows what's true. I argued

637
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 4: that I was closer and saw it from a different angle,

638
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 4: and that Sandra felt him bump into her. Sandra is okay,

639
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 4: by the way, it was just a scrape, but it

640
00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 4: made bruise. This just happened last night, so I'm not sure.

641
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 4: I'm no serious injuries though, the issue is that it

642
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 4: hurt more than her hip his reaction hurt her feelings. Yeah,

643
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 4: that's the real problem here is It's like, why are

644
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 4: we trying to like blame the eleven year old child

645
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 4: when you hip checked her. You clearly hip checked her

646
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 4: for maybe like running through the kitchen or something, and

647
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 4: we're trying to invalidate her. You're just trying to avoid

648
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 4: any and all accountability or blame for the situation, which

649
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 4: is making it worse. My guy could have been very

650
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 4: quick in and out, super fast, and now we're done

651
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 4: moving on with our lives.

652
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: John is much harder on Sandra than the other two kids.

653
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 4: We also have a son together, a six year old

654
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 4: named Jack, who is on the autism spectrum. John treats

655
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 4: Sandra like he doesn't like her as much as the

656
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 4: other two kids. He's been more distant with me since

657
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 4: Sandra was born. He struggled for a few years after

658
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 4: she was born and was not around much during that time.

659
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 4: I feel like he missed out on the best age

660
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 4: for bonding with her, which would be zero to five

661
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 4: years old. We moved when she was ten months old,

662
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 4: and he was feeling a lot of pressure in financial

663
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 4: stress at that time. I think Sandra believes he wanted

664
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,239
Speaker 4: a son and was disappointed when she turned out to

665
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 4: be a girl, and I honestly kind of agree. He

666
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 4: rarely tries to spend time with her, and when he does,

667
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 4: he's usually mean to her. The stars are not aligning

668
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 4: for you, John, this is not looking good.

669
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 3: You got his son eventually. That's weird. I don't know

670
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 3: if I can ever understand that, because my first kid,

671
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: I would love for it to be a girl. But

672
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 3: if it comes a boy, I'm not gonna be like, oh.

673
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: No, I'm just happy to have a son or a daughter.

674
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 4: If you're not ready for either of the options, then

675
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 4: don't have a kid. It's that simple, like, come on,

676
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 4: what are we doing. He rarely tries to spend time

677
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 4: with Sandra, and when he does, he's usually mean to her.

678
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 1: I've tried to bridge the gap, but to no avail.

679
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: His behavior towards her has affected her mental health in

680
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: a negative way. I have told him this, and he

681
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 1: doesn't listen to me and often refuses to talk to

682
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: me about it or blames her because of her bad attitude.

683
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: But she is the child.

684
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 4: He is supposed to be the one that shows her

685
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 4: that he loves her, not the other way around. Right, yes, correct,

686
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 4: you're arguing like you're on even footing with an eleven

687
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 4: year old girl who is your daughter?

688
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 3: Crazy conspiracy theory. May not think it's his kid.

689
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 4: Oh he's gonna say, I was gone a lot, I

690
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 4: was at the office. Meanwhile, you had a little baby

691
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 4: I don't think is mine. If that really is, like

692
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 4: you're you can't deal with like having a daughter or

693
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 4: having a son.

694
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: You only want one. Go adopt, adopt.

695
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 4: That's how you can guarantee that you get exactly what

696
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 4: you want, like it's a candy store, I guess. But

697
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 4: come on, guys, anyway, So I feel like he treats

698
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 4: her badly because she won't kiss his butt and act

699
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 4: like he's some kind of hero, buttering him up with

700
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 4: fake praise. I don't either usually, which is why we fight.

701
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 4: I am abrupt and honest nowadays, and she takes after

702
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 4: her mother.

703
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 1: I guess. I love my kids and I want John.

704
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 4: To see that he is damaging his relationship with her

705
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 4: and me with his behavior. I want to keep my

706
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 4: family together, but I sometimes wish I could leave him

707
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 4: and take the kids. I can't, though I will explain

708
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 4: why before you all scream leave him. You are a

709
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 4: terrible mother for subjecting these kids to abuse. Just listen

710
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 4: to my reasoning before you judge me. I have thought

711
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 4: of nothing else for it many years. I am a

712
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 4: stay at home mom and we are unmarried. There's no

713
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 4: common law marriage in my state, and I would leave

714
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 4: with nothing after supporting him in his career and raising

715
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 4: his children for fifteen years. I also fear about the

716
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 4: way the kids would be treated and cared for during

717
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 4: his time alone with them if we separated. John and

718
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 4: his parents insisted that we use corporal punishment on the kids,

719
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 4: and I refused. John's family are firm believers in the

720
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:59,240
Speaker 4: Bible verse if you spare the rod, you spoil the child.

721
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 4: I also didn't allow him to get physical with the kids.

722
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 4: I didn't let his parents babysit at all unless I

723
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: had no choice, because they didn't respect my wishes on

724
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 4: the no spanking rule.

725
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: I don't believe.

726
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 4: In using physical punishment to teach kids how to behave.

727
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 4: I think it reduces their spirit and traumatizes them and

728
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 4: doesn't teach them anything positive. Big facts. I'm just gonna

729
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 4: say we're in agreement and move forward. I want to

730
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,720
Speaker 4: keep my family together. The risk of abuse and neglect

731
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: goes up when parents are separated, not to mention other

732
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 4: things like anxiety and substance abuse. I'm not saying having

733
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 4: parents stay together and argue often is much better, but

734
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 4: sometimes life is like voting for a president. Neither choices

735
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 4: are great or even good options, but you have to

736
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 4: pick the lesser of two evils. I do still love

737
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 4: that son of a little witchy man deep down, even

738
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 4: though I also hate his guts most days. John has

739
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 4: some good qualities as well. He's not physically abusive, He's

740
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 4: a good provider, and he spoils us. He does love

741
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 4: us all, Sandra too, he just has a piss poor

742
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 4: way of showing it. Sometimes he is good in the

743
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 4: spicy arena, which is what first drew us to each other.

744
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 4: At first, it was infatuation and a little spicy chemistry.

745
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 1: He usually gives.

746
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 4: Into what I want, especially when it comes to the

747
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 4: kids in the house, which is nice. And by the way,

748
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 4: another nice thing that you can do is listen to

749
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 4: full episodes of stories like this. All you gotta do

750
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 4: is go to Spotify, have a podcast wherever you get

751
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 4: your podcasts from, and search Okay story time, and there

752
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 4: you can peruse the plethora of podcasts peculiarities as you wish.

753
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 4: We do have a little bit of the story left.

754
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not a lawyer.

755
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 4: I am not familiar with common law and marriage laws

756
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 4: and all of this. But it's like it sounds like

757
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 4: you've really done the math on like what's positive and

758
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 4: what's negative. I think maybe a conversation with parents, you know,

759
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 4: if John's parents, anyone who's part of the web, the

760
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 4: support structure that you have, and if you find yourself

761
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 4: isolated from like family, like that's like maybe another red

762
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,720
Speaker 4: flag there. I know that there's two sides to every coin,

763
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 4: but it's like, if you really are worried about like abuse,

764
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 4: like it really doesn't sound like this is a guy

765
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 4: that you want if that is something that's even a

766
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 4: consideration where it's like when we got to figure out

767
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 4: which way is least the least amount of abuse, It's like,

768
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 4: if there's abuse in.

769
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: Any context, really that's not good.

770
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 4: So I would figure out what the laws are, figure

771
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 4: out what kind of rights that he would have to

772
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 4: the kids divorce. I think, yeah, I think if if

773
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 4: you're at the point where you're like weighing the different

774
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 4: sort of variables of like where the most likely source

775
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 4: of abuse and be coming from, Like if you even

776
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 4: have to weigh that, I just don't think that's the

777
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 4: right guy to be with. I don't think that's the

778
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 4: guy that you want raising your kids.

779
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 3: I would say therapy in this case, this seems like

780
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 3: the first case that Obi has been confronted with an

781
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 3: issue like this. I mean they've probably talked about it before.

782
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 3: This is the actual, like first case. I'm gonna say,

783
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 3: go to therapy, see where his head's at, where your

784
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 3: head's at, and work on a solution together, or that

785
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 3: it might be best to have this problem apart.

786
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,320
Speaker 4: If there's any doubt at all of their like actual safety.

787
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 4: That's not a conversation that's like a immediately needing to

788
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 4: find a way forward without that threat. There is a

789
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 4: little bit more here, let's finish it off. I am

790
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 4: also not perfect. I admit that I contribute to the

791
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 4: toxic dynamic in our relationship. I am easily triggered and

792
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 4: tend to yell when I get angry, but I try

793
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 4: to at least admit to my failings and apologize when I.

794
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,439
Speaker 1: Am an a hole.

795
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 4: He almost always refuses to admit any wrongdoing or apologize

796
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 4: for any of his often awful behavior. Has not a

797
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 4: pretty picture there, op. That is the ugly truth from

798
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 4: my perspective. Sorry, that was so long. So am I

799
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 4: the a hole for blaming my partner and asking him

800
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 4: to apologie eyes when our daughter got hurt while they

801
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 4: were horsing around in the kitchen in Oh? That spells

802
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 4: absolutely not. But I do think that this is just

803
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 4: a sliver, like a little microcosm, in a much larger

804
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 4: issue overall, which is that y'all's dynamic as partners. Does

805
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 4: it really seem to be working on all of the

806
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 4: levels that really matter the most?

807
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:23,919
Speaker 3: Right now?

808
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 8: My brother is blocking me from his life because of

809
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 8: a lie his wife made up about me. Block her there,

810
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 8: you haven't just block her. I Female thirty eight, am

811
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 8: no longer in contact with my brother, male thirty I

812
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:41,280
Speaker 8: will refer to him as E. Elliott and his now wife,

813
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 8: female thirty six, whom I'm whom I will refer to

814
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 8: as s Sally. They met and started seeing each other

815
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 8: around six years ago.

816
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 5: They met in a bar and.

817
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 8: He introduced Sally to the family not long after. Initially

818
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 8: we got along well. And by the way, this comes

819
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 8: from you initial meet eight seven to nine. If you

820
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 8: want to submit your own stories, go to Roka Storytime

821
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,319
Speaker 8: subredd it So. Being eight years older than Elliott, I

822
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 8: have always had a maternal instinct toward him. I had

823
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 8: longed for a sibling for many years before he arrived,

824
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 8: and when I had finally had a brother, excuse me,

825
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,720
Speaker 8: I wanted to do everything for him, bathing, changing, feeding,

826
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 8: playing with him, and when we were older, babysitting.

827
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 5: I did it all. I adored him.

828
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 8: We grew up very close despite the age gap, and

829
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 8: he would often run things by me, looking for advice

830
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 8: as he got as he grew older. The first time

831
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 8: the family met Sally, I welcomed her with open arms

832
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 8: and made a conscious effort to find common ground with her.

833
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 8: I genuinely liked her. My aunt and uncle later said

834
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 8: they found it strange that a woman in her thirties

835
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 8: with her own home, mortgage, car, and a decent job

836
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 8: wouldn't entertain the idea of a relationship with a twenty

837
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 8: four year old man living at home with his mother

838
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 8: with no driver's license, no car, and a minimum wag

839
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 8: part time job. So I honestly hadn't considered this, but

840
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 8: it made me a little wary. A few months later,

841
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 8: Elliott and Sally announced that they were expecting a baby together.

842
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 8: This is when other family members began speculating that Sally

843
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 8: was using him to have a baby. I thought this

844
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 8: was slightly unfair because I liked her, but this accusation

845
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 8: stayed in the back of my mind. From then on,

846
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 8: I was very much looking out for signs of something being.

847
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 5: Out of place.

848
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 8: They had a baby, a beautiful baby boy, and we

849
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 8: were all delighted. I was thrilled to be an aunt

850
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,760
Speaker 8: for the first time, and we made lots of trips

851
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 8: to visit them in Sally's home, as Elliott had since

852
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,760
Speaker 8: moved in with her about an hour's drive away. For context,

853
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 8: that would be relevant later. I have three boys myself

854
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 8: who are much older than Elliott and Sally's baby. As

855
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 8: I had my children when I was very young. My

856
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 8: boys had always had a wonderful relationship with Elliott, and

857
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 8: we were super excited to have a baby cousin. A

858
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,720
Speaker 8: Few months later, after their baby's arrival, Elliott and Sally

859
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 8: were typical tired first time parents. Sally had arranged to

860
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 8: go to a spa day with some girlfriends for much

861
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 8: needed r and R, and Elliott asked if he could

862
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 8: bring the baby over to my place and spend the

863
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 8: day there, as he had never been left alone all

864
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 8: day with the baby before.

865
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 5: I was super.

866
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 8: Excited to have the day with my nephew, and my

867
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 8: boys were thrilled to spend time with their uncle and cousin.

868
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 8: Elliott arrived and brought the baby inside. The baby was

869
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 8: very unsettled, and Elliott mentioned that he had been like

870
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 8: this for several days and that he and Sally were

871
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,879
Speaker 8: unsure why. Being a mother of three myself, I noticed

872
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 8: straight away that the baby was teething, dribbling, red cheeks, runny, nappy, crying.

873
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 8: I told Elliot what I thought and suggested some infant

874
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 8: pain relief suitable for the baby's age. I happened to

875
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 8: have some in the cupboard and asked if he would

876
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 8: like to try it. He was unsure and wanted to

877
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 8: run it by Sally first. He began trying to call

878
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,399
Speaker 8: and text her, but wasn't getting response to to her

879
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 8: being on a SPA day, having treatments and not having

880
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 8: her phone on her. After several hours, Elliott said he

881
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 8: wanted to try the infant pain relief. We gave it

882
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 8: to the baby and within twenty minutes he was settled

883
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 8: and smiling.

884
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 5: Hey, the baby got a SPA day.

885
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 8: Elliott was so happy because his baby was no longer

886
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 8: in pain and we had a lovely time playing with

887
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 8: him before he went for a nap. This is when

888
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 8: Sally returned Elliot's cause and began freaking out about the

889
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 8: idea of him being given medicine. Elliott tried to explain

890
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 8: that it was appropriate for his age, I had had

891
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,800
Speaker 8: worked and that the baby was now happy and settled.

892
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 8: Sally was still angry, and Elliott began to worry because

893
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 8: he had upset her. Sally later came by to collect

894
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 8: Elliott and the baby and was visibly fuming with both

895
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 8: of us. About an hour later, I received a text

896
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 8: from Elliott saying that I had no right to give

897
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 8: his baby medicine. Come on, that Sally was upset and

898
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 8: that she wanted me to apologize. So I spoke with

899
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 8: Sally and smooth things over, Although she was clearly still unhappy.

900
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 5: We moved on.

901
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 8: So A short time after this, I came across a

902
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 8: Facebook post created by Sally with photos of their son. Okay,

903
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 8: I'm nervous where this is going. He looked just like

904
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 8: an old photo I had of my brother at around

905
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 8: the same age. I took a picture of the photo

906
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 8: I had and commented, saying how like they were. Next

907
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 8: thing I know, I can no longer access Sally's profile.

908
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 8: I had been blocked. I then received a message from

909
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 8: Elliott asking me to apologize to Sally for my comment.

910
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 8: I was baffled and ask him what he meant. He

911
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 8: explained that one of Sally's friends had commented before me,

912
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 8: saying how the baby looked like Sally, and that my

913
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 8: comment and photograph were seen as challenging Sally's friend's opinion.

914
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 9: Presumably the baby looks like both of them.

915
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,279
Speaker 8: Yeah, boombos, you know I feel like that's such a

916
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 8: common thing.

917
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 5: You're going to a party. It's like, oh my god,

918
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 5: he is your eyes, he is your nose.

919
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sally was very upset.

920
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 8: I told my brother that I would not be apologizing,

921
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 8: that I'd done nothing wrong, and then I was entitled

922
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,320
Speaker 8: to my opinion, and it's also a compliment.

923
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 5: At the time, I was packing.

924
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 8: To go in on a holiday on my own with

925
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 8: three kids, and I was super busy, so I didn't

926
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,800
Speaker 8: have time for unnecessary drama. I went away on holiday

927
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 8: and didn't think any more of it, expecting everything to

928
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 8: blow over while we were away.

929
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 5: It didn't.

930
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 8: We later met up as a family for my aunt's

931
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 8: birthday meal at a restaurant. My aunt texted me and

932
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,720
Speaker 8: my brother in advance, explaining that she wanted the family

933
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 8: to be together and that she did not want any

934
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 8: issues at the meal. She said that if we did

935
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 8: not want to speak to one another, that was totally fine,

936
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 8: so long as no one was nasty or caused a scene.

937
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 8: I arrived with my three children and so I Ellien

938
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 8: and Sally already there with their baby. They did not

939
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 8: make eye contact with me, so I took their lead

940
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 8: and found the seat of the opposite end of the table.

941
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 8: My boys went over to them to say hello before

942
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,919
Speaker 8: coming back to sit in near meet. The meal ride

943
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 8: and everything seemed to be going well. Toward the end

944
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 8: of the evening, the baby became restless, so they took

945
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 8: him out of his pushchair. We all took turns holding him,

946
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 8: passing him along the table for cuddles, or bouncing him

947
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 8: on our knees. I took my turn, enjoyed some time

948
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 8: with my nephew and managed to get a photo of

949
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 8: myself with him.

950
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 5: Now fond memory for me.

951
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 1: Oh, they're gonna hate that.

952
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 5: They yeah.

953
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 8: After the meal, once we were back home, I got

954
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 8: another text for my brother. What do you think he's

955
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 8: gonna be mad about?

956
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 9: He's gonna say, I can't believe that you took a

957
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 9: photo of getting our child without our permission.

958
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 8: After the meal, once we were back home, I got

959
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 8: another text my brother complaining that I had the opposite

960
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 8: ignored their baby. I told him that this was not

961
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 8: true and set him the photo of the baby on

962
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 8: my knee. He responded by asking me to leave the

963
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 8: phone I did not have for miss in the photograph.

964
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 5: His son got it.

965
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 9: Nailed it, nail it, but it's.

966
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 5: How is he mad at both?

967
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: He's like no, but I think that was like a

968
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 1: bad brother.

969
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 9: He was like, how dare you ignore my child? I

970
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 9: know he was like I didn't. Here's proof, and he's like.

971
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: Gotcha all right.

972
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 8: The month after this incident, it was my brother's birthday

973
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 8: and my mom, myself, and my boys were invited over

974
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 8: to the house for a takeaway. I saw this as

975
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 8: an olive branch and decided it would be a good

976
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 8: idea to go and try to clear the air. Don't

977
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 8: look the baby, but don't ignore the baby. But don't

978
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 8: take a photo of the baby. But make sure you

979
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 8: do photograph the baby. But if the baby is in pain,

980
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 8: make sure to help it. But if you help it wrong,

981
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 8: you're in the wrong.

982
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 2: It's all about balance, and that's called motherhood.

983
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 8: When we arrived, Ellie answered the door and told us

984
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,919
Speaker 8: that Sally was upstairs with a friend that she would

985
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,760
Speaker 8: be down a bit later. He gave us the takeaway

986
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,280
Speaker 8: menu and left us alone downstairs. Well, he went upstairs

987
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 8: with Sally and her friend. It was weird and there

988
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 8: was definitely an atmosphere. We looked at the menu, decided

989
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 8: what we wanted to order. My brother came back down

990
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,399
Speaker 8: sometime later and said, how dare you order something? Though,

991
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 8: and ordered the food, deciding to pick it up rather

992
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 8: than having it delivered since it was only a ten

993
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 8: minute walk away. My eldest son asked if he could

994
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 8: go with my brother to collect the food, and they

995
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 8: both set off together, leaving myself, me, Mum, and my

996
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 8: two younger brothers on our own downstores downstairs, and Sally

997
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 8: still hadn't come downstairs. We went into the kitchen to

998
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 8: prepare plates, glasses, and cutlery for when Elliott and my

999
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 8: son returned with the food. When they arrived, Sally and

1000
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 8: her friend came into the kitchen and played up their

1001
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,319
Speaker 8: food while we were plating up ours. Neither of them

1002
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 8: said anything to any of us, and it was really awkward.

1003
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 8: I asked my brother where he would like us to

1004
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 8: sit to eat, because there was a small table in

1005
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 8: the kitchen big enough to see four people, but there

1006
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 8: were eight of us. He told us to go and

1007
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 8: sit in the living room, so we did. My mom,

1008
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 8: my three boys, and I sat with our food in

1009
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 8: our laps, and my brother joined us, but Sally and

1010
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 8: our friend remained in the kitchen. After we finished eating,

1011
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 8: I made our excuses and left because the atmosphere was

1012
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 8: too uncomfortable to bear.

1013
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 5: When we get home, I received.

1014
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 8: A message from my brother saying that Sally had told

1015
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 8: him that while he and my son were out collecting

1016
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 8: the food, she had came downstairs and said hello to me,

1017
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 8: and that I had ignored her.

1018
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 5: She was upstairs the whole time, but then she came.

1019
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 9: Oh, I went directly to the kitchen.

1020
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 8: And then said specifically didn't say anything, so she'd lied ma.

1021
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 8: I responded telling him this was untrue, and then called

1022
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 8: my mom to clarify that I hadn't gotten it wrong.

1023
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 8: I was seriously starting to doubt my own sanity at

1024
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 8: this point. My mom agreed with me and called my

1025
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 8: brother to tell him that Sally was What Sally was

1026
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,720
Speaker 8: saying was untrue. He told her that he believed Sally

1027
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 8: that her friend was backing.

1028
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 5: Her up, and that Sally was not a liar.

1029
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 8: But my mom called me back and said there wasn't

1030
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 8: much more she could do because she was worried that

1031
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 8: she kept telling e or Elliott that Sally was lying.

1032
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 5: She might not be able to have contact with her grandson.

1033
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 9: Okay, but what about Opie's like children. I mean, it

1034
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 9: just seems like she's like, oh yeah, Ohpi, will you know,

1035
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 9: let us walk all over her so it doesn't matter

1036
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 9: if I don't defend her.

1037
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 8: You could only say so much to be like this

1038
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,919
Speaker 8: didn't happen, and then at some point, you know, you're

1039
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,439
Speaker 8: just gonna be hurting the relationship and is a mother,

1040
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 8: like what else can you do?

1041
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,240
Speaker 5: That's frustrating though, Yeah, it's super frustrating. This whole situation

1042
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 5: is very frustrating.

1043
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 8: Then I received a message from Elliott saying that I

1044
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,800
Speaker 8: was no longer allowed any contact with my nephew.

1045
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 1: Ridiculous.

1046
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 5: This is so sad.

1047
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,959
Speaker 8: A few days later, I had email from my dad,

1048
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,760
Speaker 8: who had up until this point not been too evolved

1049
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 8: in the situation. He and my mom divorced over twenty

1050
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 8: years ago and is not local to the rest of

1051
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:29,959
Speaker 8: the family. He and I are close, and he wanted

1052
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 8: to give me a fair warning of the storm that.

1053
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 5: Was brewing it could brew even more.

1054
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 8: He formed me a letter that Sally had emailed to

1055
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 8: the entire family Dude, Dad's looking out for op, mom, dad, auntie, uncle,

1056
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 8: and grandma. A four page war document listing everything that

1057
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 8: I had supposedly done wrong to herself, Elliott and their baby,

1058
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 8: and they're all lies according to.

1059
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 9: Open and they're all lies.

1060
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 8: All from the perspective of a lunatic. I called each

1061
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:00,919
Speaker 8: of my family members and asked them what they thought

1062
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 8: on the email. They all said they would be standing

1063
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 8: by me, but did not want to be the one

1064
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,240
Speaker 8: to respond to defend me, as they were all concerned

1065
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 8: about their relationship with Elliott and the baby. She had

1066
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 8: been threatening everyone with this prospect of not being involved

1067
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 8: in the baby's life. Should anyone challenge her, Yeah, at

1068
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 8: that point, as a family, I would be like no,

1069
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 8: as OPI I would expect that.

1070
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 5: I don't want to be upset if my family is.

1071
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 8: If you say it up and out of fear of

1072
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,360
Speaker 8: them being kicked out, they're just gonna be complicit in

1073
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 8: me being mislabeled, lied about, and kicked out of a

1074
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 8: relationship with my nephew.

1075
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 5: I would be furious of my family me too. My

1076
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 5: dad therefore took.

1077
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 8: The lead and replied on behalf of the whole family,

1078
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 8: saying that this would not be tolerated.

1079
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 5: No one had a response to this.

1080
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 8: About a month later, Elliott and Sally out wedding sent

1081
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 8: out wedding invitations.

1082
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 5: They had got toen engaged. Damn that sucks.

1083
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 8: The whole family was invited, including my children, all except

1084
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 8: me and my dad. You're gonna invite the children and

1085
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,879
Speaker 8: not their own, freaking mom, I replied on about half

1086
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 8: of my children, stating they would not be attending. But

1087
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 8: this was really difficult because they were old enough to

1088
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 8: know that they had been invited and were missing out.

1089
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 8: My mom offered to take them with her, but I declined.

1090
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 8: I felt enough was enough. This was the final straw.

1091
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 8: The wedding day came and went. My mom, Auntie, uncle,

1092
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 8: and grandma attended. I wonder if there was any effort

1093
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 8: on Op's and to like message the brother and sit

1094
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 8: or like call him or have a private conversation and

1095
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 8: be like, I understand this is sensitive because you know

1096
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 8: you support your partner as you should. Yeah, but like,

1097
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,399
Speaker 8: none of this is true. I love you, I want

1098
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 8: to have a relationship with you, and yet it seems

1099
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 8: anything I do, I'm made to be the villain.

1100
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 5: What do you mean?

1101
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 9: Like in the past, at least it seems like I

1102
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 9: think said something along the lines of the aye, like

1103
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 9: I told them that wasn't true, or that wasn't happened? Yeah,

1104
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 9: and then just keeps getting blocked on things.

1105
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 8: So on my brother's birthday after the wedding, I said

1106
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 8: him a card with a note inside telling him that

1107
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 8: although a lot had happened, I still wanted to be

1108
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 8: his sister and wanted a.

1109
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 5: Relationship with my nephew. That was sweet.

1110
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,240
Speaker 8: I suggested that maybe we could meet up and talk.

1111
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 8: I also mentioned that if Sally apologized for sending the

1112
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 8: entire family lies about me, I would move on and

1113
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 8: be civil towards her. I hope we could all have

1114
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 8: some kind of relationship. I received a text from Elliott

1115
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 8: that very same day.

1116
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 5: What do you think? He said?

1117
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 9: How dare you not come to my wedding?

1118
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 1: Sally said, she invited you and begged you.

1119
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 9: To come to my wedding.

1120
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1121
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 8: I received a text from all that very same day.

1122
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 8: He explained that Sally was heavily pregnant and that she

1123
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 8: found my note so upsetting that he was concerned for

1124
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 8: the health of both her and the baby.

1125
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness, I can't he said.

1126
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 8: If anything happened to her the baby, it would all

1127
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 8: be my fault.

1128
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 1: Oh.

1129
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 8: I also received text messages from Sally's siblings telling me

1130
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 8: I was bowling a pregnant woman and that stress because

1131
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 8: serious problems which the whole that would.

1132
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 5: Hold me accountable.

1133
00:52:58,120 --> 00:52:59,919
Speaker 9: Oh, he's not even talking to them.

1134
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's it's not for you, Sally, this is not

1135
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 8: your message for you.

1136
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 5: I was then blocked on all apps.

1137
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 8: I was glad because I did not want any further

1138
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 8: communication with any of them at this point. There's nothing

1139
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 8: you could do, and you just to have a to

1140
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 8: send a private conversation to your brother or a private

1141
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 8: message to your brother, and for family of his wife

1142
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 8: to be messaging you, putting the health of the a

1143
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 8: pregnant woman.

1144
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 5: On your hands. Yeah, Like I'm just like okay, Like

1145
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 5: I just.

1146
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 9: Can't imagine the family like continuing to.

1147
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 1: Be okay with this behavior.

1148
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 8: I've since heard through my mom that they have had

1149
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 8: another baby, boy, and that both Sally and the baby

1150
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 8: are doing well. Fast forward to the present day. My

1151
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 8: mom is getting older and has realized that some day

1152
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,919
Speaker 8: she will no longer be here. She wants my brother

1153
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 8: and me to get along, not only for her own

1154
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 8: happiness and peace of mind, but for logistical reasons like

1155
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 8: organizing funeral arrangements and dividing assets after she's gone. I

1156
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 8: have agreed to meet Elliott, not Sally, but he will not.

1157
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 5: Agree to meet me.

1158
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 8: The rest of the family says that someone has to

1159
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 8: make the first move and that I should reach out

1160
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 8: to my brother despite being blocked on all roots of communication.

1161
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 8: And if you never want to be blocked, come listen

1162
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 8: to full episodes the stories just like this. Just go

1163
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 8: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, your favorite podcast app and search Okay.

1164
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 5: Storytime you go.

1165
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:20,720
Speaker 3: Never be blocked.

1166
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 8: I feel as though I have done enough and I

1167
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 8: am done. But on the other hand, I really want

1168
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 8: my mom to be happy. I completely understand where she

1169
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 8: is coming from, because it would unlive me if my

1170
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 8: own children no longer spoke to one another.

1171
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 5: What should I do?

1172
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 8: I feel as though every time I try to resolve

1173
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 8: this issue, it just makes things worse, and I always

1174
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 8: see me blame for causing upset just by trying to

1175
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 8: make contact. Should I be the one to make the

1176
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,880
Speaker 8: next move for my mom or should I just let

1177
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 8: it be?

1178
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:47,720
Speaker 5: Also?

1179
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 8: Am I the a hole in this situation? Should I

1180
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 8: be the one apologizing? Have I missed something? It seems

1181
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 8: like I miss something because I don't understand what you've

1182
00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 8: done wrong and any of Elliott or Sally's side.

1183
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 9: Just being scapegoaded because I think that for some reason,

1184
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 9: your sister in law is jealous of you.

1185
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 8: There's something that she's furious about and that she's resenting

1186
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 8: you for, and she blames every situation into.

1187
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 9: She's trying to isolate not only your brother from you,

1188
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 9: but you from your family.

1189
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, So on Op's end, I don't know what you

1190
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 8: can do. I think you could try to do something.

1191
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 8: It seems like you've tried to already reach out and

1192
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 8: you got blamed for the health, for the ill health

1193
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 8: of a pregnant woman. And I wouldn't put it against

1194
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 8: you if you were like I've tried, I can't do

1195
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 8: anything here. Yeah, but if you wanted to reach out,

1196
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,879
Speaker 8: I think that would be brave. And I think that

1197
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 8: you would just have to be okay with the consequences

1198
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 8: of you know, Sally like coming at you again. It's

1199
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 8: not it's it's up to you. Like I would say,

1200
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 8: both both of those make sense.

1201
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 9: I think, Yeah, I think I'm on the side of

1202
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 9: like reaching out to the family members and being like, hey.

1203
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,320
Speaker 5: To what family members?

1204
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 9: Well, I think you can start with your mom because

1205
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 9: you're you already know your dad is on your side,

1206
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 9: and so for.

1207
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,760
Speaker 5: You, what are the family members going to do?

1208
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: Just stand up for you?

1209
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 9: Like, I understand that you might use access to the nephew,

1210
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 9: but if everyone stands up, I mean.

1211
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I like this course of action. Yeah, everyone

1212
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 8: standing up and reaching out behavior and be like what

1213
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:23,919
Speaker 8: the hell?

1214
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:25,239
Speaker 9: Yeah do what's going on?

1215
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's that's a good course of action. It seems like, yeah,

1216
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 8: anything Op does doesn't work out. Yeah, and so the

1217
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:35,400
Speaker 8: whole family member like hopefully, hopefully Elliott, if Sally was like,

1218
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 8: you can't be friends, you can't be family in relationship

1219
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 8: with any of your family members, he would be like.

1220
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 9: Okay, yeah, let me actually think of that first.

1221
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 5: So that's a good idea. Sophia, thank you.

1222
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,720
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1223
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,760
Speaker 4: Put a quick three minute ad break from her sponsors,

1224
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 4: like keep the show going.

1225
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,800
Speaker 9: My mother tried my wedding dress on, so I removed

1226
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 9: her from the bridal party.

1227
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 5: But who wore it better?

1228
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 9: Yeah? My twenty three female mother forty two female has

1229
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:04,319
Speaker 9: always had a weird competition with the success of her

1230
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:08,360
Speaker 9: kids and has a never ending victim complex. If anyone

1231
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 9: tries to bring up wrongdoings of the past, my mother

1232
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 9: will get defensive, saying it was such a bad mother, huh,

1233
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 9: or I did such a bad job of putting a

1234
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 9: roof over your head and food on the table. You're

1235
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 9: all ungrateful. This one she used often. By the way,

1236
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 9: this comes from Potato rat zero one.

1237
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 1: And if you want to.

1238
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 9: Submit your own stories, go to our slashokey storytime separate it.

1239
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 9: My mother has always had an issue with me how

1240
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 9: I look and who I'm dating. It's almost as if

1241
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:35,680
Speaker 9: she's trying to be better than me, as if she's

1242
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 9: jealous of my success. My father and my mother have

1243
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 9: not been together since I was six and have not

1244
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 9: spoken to each other since then. Unfortunately, I was not

1245
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 9: allowed to see my dad growing up. A whole other story,

1246
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 9: but basically my mother brainwashed us into thinking he didn't

1247
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,920
Speaker 9: want anything to do with us. Now, my father is

1248
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 9: my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without him.

1249
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 9: I met my wonderful fiance, twenty nine male in September

1250
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 9: of twenty twenty one. We met on my birthday at

1251
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 9: an Emo night, a party nightclub event for old school

1252
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 9: emo music. We know it was the best night ever,

1253
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 9: and I knew instantly I had found my life partner.

1254
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,520
Speaker 2: Ah, it is dang what happened at.

1255
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 1: That emo night.

1256
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 9: My mother let's call her Helly, however, did not like

1257
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 9: my partner, let's call him Jim. Played nice, but always

1258
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 9: made snarky comments about Jim's appearance, clothing choices, hairstyles. He

1259
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 9: had a beautiful mohawk that caught my eye when we

1260
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 9: first met, his music choices, and overall who he was

1261
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 9: as a person. It's stung that she didn't like him

1262
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 9: and wouldn't go to know him, wouldn't get to know

1263
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 9: him on a better level. My father, however, has always

1264
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,479
Speaker 9: loved my partner and has treated him as another son.

1265
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 9: My dad is four boys and one girl, and he's

1266
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 9: very protective of me, so it means a lot that

1267
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 9: he's so accepting of Jim. Fast forward a few years.

1268
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 9: Jim and I have been living together and starting our

1269
00:58:56,600 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 9: wonderful life. Helena and I are talking on most of

1270
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 9: the time. I've had to cut off connections due to

1271
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 9: toxicity and my mental health. She's good in small doses.

1272
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 9: Anything larger and you feel like you're suffocating. Let me

1273
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 9: set the scene of our first event July twentieth, twenty

1274
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 9: twenty four, the day of our.

1275
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 5: Engagement, three years into their relationship.

1276
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,880
Speaker 9: I had an inkling that it was going to happen.

1277
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: As you do.

1278
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 9: We were out to dinner with his dad, stepmom, and siblings.

1279
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 9: My dad, stepmom, and one of my younger brothers were there.

1280
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 1: Along with our friends.

1281
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 9: It was the most wonderful night, full of laughter, drinks, tears,

1282
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 9: photos and love. He popped the question and I said yes, yes,

1283
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 9: holding my dad's hand the whole time. So, kid, I'm

1284
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 9: not a person who loves being in the spotlight for

1285
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 9: too long, so having the buffer of a full dining

1286
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 9: room and not being too loud was perfect for me.

1287
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 9: We all cried together and shared hugs and kisses while

1288
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 9: we took photos. Elena, however, was not invited.

1289
00:59:58,480 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 1: To this event.

1290
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 9: Oh, this was due to my mom and dad not

1291
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 9: getting along. Dad is civil, but my mother will say

1292
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,480
Speaker 9: anything snarky to get a reaction. And we also know

1293
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 9: that you love your dad like and you get along

1294
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:10,439
Speaker 9: with your dad a lot more than your.

1295
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 5: Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She didn't love her dad more?

1296
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 9: She said, she was, Well, I said, I've said I

1297
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 9: changed it to you get along better. I had told

1298
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 9: my partner I wanted my dad with me when he proposed,

1299
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 9: so this spant Lena would not get invited. She was

1300
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 9: vivid when photos got out that my dad was there

1301
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 9: and she wasn't even told it was happening. It was chaos.

1302
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 9: I received dozens of phone calls and text saying we

1303
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 9: were selfish for not inviting her and that she deserved

1304
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 9: to be there as much as my dad. I ignored

1305
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 9: these and she eventually moved on.

1306
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 5: No response, Yeah, I don't care.

1307
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,560
Speaker 9: Fast forward to August, where I have my dress appointments.

1308
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 9: I was so excited to go dress shopping and trying

1309
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:53,840
Speaker 9: in the beautiful gowns. I went with my mother in law,

1310
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 9: sweetest woman ever, and found the dress. It's an off

1311
01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 9: the shoulder fitted mermaid gown that's super except for some

1312
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 9: sparkly decows around the waist and arms and buttons down

1313
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:07,439
Speaker 9: the back. I bawled my eyes out. I never thought

1314
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 9: I would go for simple, but it was so classic

1315
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 9: and timeless it made his mom cry. I paid the

1316
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 9: deposit and left a happy bride. I was so excited

1317
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 9: to show it off to my mom, but I also

1318
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 9: wanted to give her the experience of seeing her daughter

1319
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:23,919
Speaker 9: try on gowns, as I had not gone with her yet.

1320
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 9: So we tried on some gowns and she gave me

1321
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 9: no opinions other than negative ones. She then tried to

1322
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:34,560
Speaker 9: bring a black wedding gown into the change rooms for

1323
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 9: me to try on, stating that she thought I would

1324
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 9: wear black to my wedding. I dressed alternatively most of

1325
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 9: the time, but I'm also Catholic, so I didn't want

1326
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 9: to wear black to my church. Weinding, Elena was insisting

1327
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 9: that I wear a black gown and said to humor

1328
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 9: her to try it on.

1329
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 1: I put my foot down and said no no.

1330
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 9: She went and sulked back into her chair and waited

1331
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 9: for the next gown. I then tried on my dress.

1332
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 9: I couldn't contain my excitement and ask what she thought.

1333
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 9: She said it was fine and that it looked a

1334
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 9: little bland ouch. I got her to take pictures anyway,

1335
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 9: and told her I loved it, but would think about it.

1336
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 9: Heart Broken, we left the bridle shop and I decided

1337
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 9: to keep it a secret that I had already bought

1338
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 9: the dress, as I loved it and her opinion would

1339
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 9: not change.

1340
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 3: It.

1341
01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 9: Throughout the whole wedding planning, Helena had opinions about everything,

1342
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 9: the color scheme, what the men were wearing, where it is,

1343
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 9: even going as far as to make me feel bad

1344
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 9: for having a church wedding as we aren't raised as

1345
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 9: we weren't raised religious, and it would make her uncomfortable.

1346
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 9: All of these I ignored. The sad part of the

1347
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 9: wedding is that I have had to compromise who my

1348
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 9: maid of honor is to keep the peace in the family.

1349
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 9: I had to ask my mother to be my maid

1350
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 9: of honor so that she would be up on the

1351
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 9: stands with me and I could keep an eye on

1352
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 9: her during this. Sarah, okay, so it's yeah, so that

1353
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 9: she wouldn't start a fight with my Dadter's tumble. It's

1354
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 9: literally it's like I didn't want her there, but you know,

1355
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 9: I could keep an eye on her.

1356
01:02:58,440 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 1: But she's close enough to mine.

1357
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 5: I need to keep her way for everyone else.

1358
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 9: I didn't want her to be in my bridal party,

1359
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 9: but I was happy to give that up if it

1360
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:05,960
Speaker 9: meant one last thing to worry about.

1361
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 1: Boy was I wrong.

1362
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 5: I could have guessed that one.

1363
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:13,480
Speaker 9: Fast forward to September twenty twenty four. My fiance and

1364
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:16,720
Speaker 9: I were enjoying our anniversary celebrations with a nice dinner

1365
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:19,760
Speaker 9: at home, Lego sets, and movies when I went on

1366
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 9: Facebook and saw a post. It was an announcement that

1367
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 9: Helena had got engaged.

1368
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 2: Ah, wake me up when September ends.

1369
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:31,600
Speaker 9: Helena and her partner had been together for a little

1370
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 9: over three years at this point and had broken up

1371
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 9: many times. Her partner had always mentioned that he didn't

1372
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 9: want to get married, as he had been divorced before

1373
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:42,560
Speaker 9: and just wanted a fun life with the fun girl.

1374
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 9: She gave him an ultimatum, either he commits or she leaves.

1375
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 9: He didn't commit, so she left him, oh for one month.

1376
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 5: Oh.

1377
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 9: They made the announcement that they were back together and

1378
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 9: officially engaged on Facebook, and she went ring shopping alone

1379
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 9: with his card. Back to the story, so I opened

1380
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 9: Facebook to see that Helena was now engaged. I was

1381
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 9: happy for her. I even messaged her with a congrats.

1382
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 9: But as I look closer at the picture, I noticed

1383
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:21,760
Speaker 9: something her ring looked awfully familiar. That's right, you guessed it.

1384
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 9: Lena had gone out and bought the exact ring my

1385
01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 9: fiance had proposed to me. With the only difference is

1386
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 9: hers was pear shaped and mine was round. Helena wears

1387
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:36,560
Speaker 9: gold and has always worn gold jewelry. However, she chose

1388
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 9: a silver ring pear shaped with a big diamond in

1389
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 9: the center and smaller diamonds around it. It also had

1390
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 9: a pink diamond underneath.

1391
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 1: Stunning. Guess what my ring was?

1392
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 9: A silver ring, round shaped with a big diamond in

1393
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:53,919
Speaker 9: the center and smaller diamonds all underneath, all around. Oh

1394
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 9: and it also had pink diamond underneath.

1395
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:57,000
Speaker 5: That's pretty.

1396
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 8: At first, I was like, it's like, oh, there was

1397
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 8: a diamond, no diamonds, but there's a pink diamond.

1398
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 9: Pink diamonds. The similarity was too hard to ignore, but

1399
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 9: I let her have her a moment.

1400
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:08,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, quietly seething.

1401
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:12,000
Speaker 9: In August, we had made a Facebook event group stating

1402
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 9: that our engagement party was going to be on the

1403
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:17,800
Speaker 9: sixteenth of November twenty twenty four. This was a great

1404
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:20,880
Speaker 9: date for us and our family with nothing interfering, so

1405
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,560
Speaker 9: we booked it. We didn't want to spend too much

1406
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 9: as we wanted a nicer wedding, so we opted to

1407
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:28,280
Speaker 9: book a large table at the same restaurant. We got

1408
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 9: engaged in and have a relaxed dinner. It was far

1409
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:36,760
Speaker 9: from relaxing. As it got closer to the party date,

1410
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 9: Helena made an announcement that her engagement was also in November,

1411
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 9: two weeks after mine. Apparently she couldn't book it any

1412
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 9: other time, despite having an open calendar four months ahead

1413
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 9: and only be engaged for a short period of time.

1414
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:52,000
Speaker 9: There was no rush, so I didn't understand why she

1415
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:55,440
Speaker 9: needed to have her party so close to mine. Either way,

1416
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 9: I ignored this and moved on. We had a nice

1417
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 9: party and people brought us presents, including a couple's bible

1418
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 9: and his and hers novelty daggers. My fiance and I

1419
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 9: collect cool swords.

1420
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 5: Oh.

1421
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:09,440
Speaker 9: Everyone was having a cool, a good time until Helena

1422
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 9: showed up. She said her rounds of hellos, ignoring my

1423
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 9: dad and brother. Throughout the whole night, she was huffing

1424
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 9: and busting about anything and everything. It's too cold, it's

1425
01:06:19,680 --> 01:06:21,439
Speaker 9: too hot, the food is met.

1426
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:22,320
Speaker 1: Why am I.

1427
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,680
Speaker 9: Seated with the old people because you're freaking old man.

1428
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:27,280
Speaker 9: I eventually had so much anxiety that I went to

1429
01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 9: the bar and started taking shots with my sister in law.

1430
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 1: That's how you did.

1431
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 5: I will get rid of that.

1432
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 9: We had a blast for the one minute I got

1433
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:38,320
Speaker 9: away from Helena. Then Helena came to the bar and

1434
01:06:38,440 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 9: paid for the next round. A nice gesture, I thought,

1435
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,200
Speaker 9: and we both thanked her. Helena then walked out to

1436
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 9: the group, got everyone's attention, and bragged about paying for

1437
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:50,959
Speaker 9: my drink, turning to my fiance stating that's yours now

1438
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:54,400
Speaker 9: referring to me. After I walked back outside, there was

1439
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 9: an awkward feeling in the air. I tried to keep

1440
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 9: the peace the whole night, not having much fun for myself.

1441
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 9: The cherry on top of Helena's actions that night was

1442
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:06,160
Speaker 9: her comment about my looks. Helena said that I looked

1443
01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:08,080
Speaker 9: chabby in my dress and that I should lose some

1444
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 9: weight before my wedding. Maybe you should chuck.

1445
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,919
Speaker 5: Your Wow, that's a stab to the heart.

1446
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 9: I just walked away. The rest of the night went okay,

1447
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 9: and Helena left shortly after. I had to cry, drank

1448
01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 9: a lot more than with my fiance and trying to

1449
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:26,000
Speaker 9: salvash the night. Now it was time for Helena's engagement party.

1450
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:26,640
Speaker 5: You shouldn't.

1451
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:29,400
Speaker 1: You don't have to go. He was so boring.

1452
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 9: She hired out a whole venue as if it was

1453
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 9: a reception, had a bar tab, but wouldn't let anyone

1454
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,320
Speaker 9: else use it. We had to pay thirty dollars per

1455
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 9: cock kaale. That is insane.

1456
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 5: Thirty dollars.

1457
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:44,440
Speaker 9: Regular drinks were still fifteen dollars each, which is expensive.

1458
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:46,840
Speaker 9: If I had to pay fifteen dollars for Shirley Dumple,

1459
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:48,840
Speaker 9: I'm rioting.

1460
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I could get a meal for that.

1461
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:55,120
Speaker 9: The whole thing went on for four hours. The whole time, myself,

1462
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 9: my fiance, and my siblings just sat in the corner

1463
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:59,720
Speaker 9: and talked about stuff. We ended up going to the

1464
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:02,960
Speaker 9: bar across the street halfway through, as drinks were too

1465
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:04,760
Speaker 9: expensive and we didn't know anyone there.

1466
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 5: They just dipped out.

1467
01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:10,040
Speaker 9: I don't even think Helena realized we were gone until

1468
01:08:10,040 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 9: the end. We made it a good night and had

1469
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:14,520
Speaker 9: fun together, so that's a plus. I think you just

1470
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 9: shouldn't have shown up.

1471
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:17,559
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you're gonna be that rude, just don't go.

1472
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:18,760
Speaker 1: I don't think you had to go.

1473
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 9: None of my siblings get along with my mom. She

1474
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:24,679
Speaker 9: has four kids and none of them talk to her anymore.

1475
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:28,679
Speaker 9: This is where I might be the Bridezilla slash a hole.

1476
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:32,439
Speaker 9: One day in December, I received a text from Helena.

1477
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:36,280
Speaker 9: It was pictures of her in a wedding dress in

1478
01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:37,080
Speaker 9: my wedding.

1479
01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 2: I knew it.

1480
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:41,200
Speaker 1: I knew it, called it, called it, I see you.

1481
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:44,839
Speaker 9: She had gone back and tried on my wedding dress

1482
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 9: and had taken photos. This dress is not Helena's style

1483
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 9: at all. She is a much smaller woman with no curves,

1484
01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:55,360
Speaker 9: and I am a medium sized woman with some pretty

1485
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:59,760
Speaker 9: good curbs. The dress was wearing her. I love that

1486
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:03,200
Speaker 9: she was like, let me be clear, she looked terrible.

1487
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:04,960
Speaker 5: I would have rocked it.

1488
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 9: Although she did not buy the dress, the fact that

1489
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:09,800
Speaker 9: she tried it on and sent me a photo with

1490
01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 9: a laughing face emoji was heartbreaking.

1491
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:15,320
Speaker 1: Text making fun of her, Yeah, I texted.

1492
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:16,840
Speaker 9: Her letting her know I had bought that dress and

1493
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:20,040
Speaker 9: that she couldn't have it. Elena then went on this

1494
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:22,799
Speaker 9: big rant about how I never involved her in anything,

1495
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 9: how she feels she's being left out of the wedding

1496
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 9: planning and that she should be involved. This is where

1497
01:09:27,520 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 9: I drew the line. I wrote a rather lengthy paragraph

1498
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:33,000
Speaker 9: about how it was rude that she would try on

1499
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:36,200
Speaker 9: a dress I liked just for fun, and that she

1500
01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:39,439
Speaker 9: had no consideration for anyone around her. I stated that

1501
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:42,000
Speaker 9: I no longer wanted her in my bridal party, oh

1502
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:44,040
Speaker 9: and that she was no longer invited to my wedding.

1503
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:46,479
Speaker 9: I then told her how everything she had done had

1504
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 9: been to upstage me, and I was sick of it.

1505
01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:51,800
Speaker 9: I would not let her upstage my wedding day. There

1506
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:53,400
Speaker 9: was more, but I'm not going to type it all

1507
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 9: out here. She was angry, calling me every name under

1508
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:59,800
Speaker 9: the sun, telling me I'm worthless and that it was

1509
01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:02,920
Speaker 9: an ugly dress anyway. Jeez. She said she never wanted

1510
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 9: to upstage me, which was an obvious lie. I had enough.

1511
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,519
Speaker 9: I stopped replying and still have not received a message.

1512
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:10,439
Speaker 1: I think she blocked me.

1513
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:13,479
Speaker 9: Am I the ale for calling my mom out and

1514
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:16,320
Speaker 9: going off at her for copying me. I know I

1515
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:18,719
Speaker 9: was a bit harsh, but I was civil the whole time.

1516
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 9: She was trying to steal the spotlight, and it wasn't

1517
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,000
Speaker 9: even the wedding day yet. It all just felt weird

1518
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 9: that she had to be engaged as well. She had

1519
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:29,880
Speaker 9: to have her party two weeks after mine. Her ring

1520
01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:32,240
Speaker 9: was exactly the same except for the shape, and she

1521
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 9: couldn't keep the peace for one night at the engagement party.

1522
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:38,679
Speaker 9: I was thinking of inviting her to the ceremony only

1523
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:40,560
Speaker 9: so she could still see her daughter walk down the

1524
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:43,280
Speaker 9: aisle and get married, but she would not be allowed

1525
01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:46,519
Speaker 9: at the reception. And you guys are always allowed to

1526
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:49,320
Speaker 9: listen to full episodes with stories just like this. Just

1527
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:52,360
Speaker 9: go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast app.

1528
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:55,160
Speaker 9: Man oh man, Yeah, she is a little bit more,

1529
01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 9: but uh yeah, I think it would be nice of you,

1530
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 9: It would be very consist of you two have her

1531
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:04,320
Speaker 9: come to the reception so that she's still a little

1532
01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 9: bit involved. But yeah, I understand why you wouldn't want

1533
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:10,040
Speaker 9: her at the or not the reception, the ceremony, but

1534
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:13,200
Speaker 9: not have her at the reception because it seems like

1535
01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 9: she has continuously.

1536
01:11:14,600 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 1: Made a lot of drama.

1537
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 8: I before I say what I'm gonna say, Helena has

1538
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:23,240
Speaker 8: been acting a fool, acting a fool the whole time.

1539
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:24,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, I will state that.

1540
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:27,880
Speaker 8: But also, since you're asking if you're the a hole,

1541
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 8: I think to hold your tongue for all this time

1542
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:36,679
Speaker 8: and be like I was being civil, I don't think

1543
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:41,519
Speaker 8: that's like inherently like a good thing to just have

1544
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:44,880
Speaker 8: held your tongue to allow your resentment to brew and

1545
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:48,439
Speaker 8: brew and then to allow it just to explode, and

1546
01:11:48,479 --> 01:11:50,880
Speaker 8: now you're going to go off on your mom. And

1547
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:54,240
Speaker 8: so you were holding in what was most true for

1548
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:57,160
Speaker 8: you in your relationship and then it all came out

1549
01:11:57,200 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 8: at once, and now you're you're dealing with the brute

1550
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:05,080
Speaker 8: force of it all like exploding. And so if I

1551
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:08,519
Speaker 8: think there is something to be said around around that.

1552
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:10,280
Speaker 9: I think you could also. I mean you could potentially

1553
01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:13,000
Speaker 9: say like, right now, she's only invited the ceremony and

1554
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 9: you could have that conversation with your mom where you're like, hey,

1555
01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:19,560
Speaker 9: you've been disrespectful of me the entire this entire process.

1556
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:23,880
Speaker 9: If I see a lot of change, you know, maybe

1557
01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:25,360
Speaker 9: we can talk about you coming to the reception, but

1558
01:12:25,439 --> 01:12:29,519
Speaker 9: right now, like that can't happen. We are getting married

1559
01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:32,120
Speaker 9: in seven months in a Catholic church and our reception

1560
01:12:32,280 --> 01:12:35,559
Speaker 9: is at an arcade sick. We are both gamer nerds

1561
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:37,960
Speaker 9: who prefer arcade games over dancing, and so we thought

1562
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:41,000
Speaker 9: having the arcade bowling experience would be much nicer than

1563
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:41,960
Speaker 9: a regular reception.

1564
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:43,960
Speaker 5: That would be fun, but not for a wedding.

1565
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:46,160
Speaker 1: But yeah, we also have cut.

1566
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:48,479
Speaker 9: Down our wedding party to one person each and I'm

1567
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:50,519
Speaker 9: not having a maid of honor, as I feel my

1568
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:52,800
Speaker 9: mom ruined that role for me. I have a lot

1569
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,719
Speaker 9: of feelings about what happened, but after everything my mom

1570
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:57,960
Speaker 9: did and how child as she was acting, I don't

1571
01:12:57,960 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 9: regret my choice to remove her from the bridle part.

1572
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:03,400
Speaker 9: Let me know what you think. Am I the A hole?

1573
01:13:03,479 --> 01:13:06,240
Speaker 9: And that is the end of that story and the

1574
01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:07,120
Speaker 9: end of this episode.

1575
01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:07,800
Speaker 5: Oh cool.

1576
01:13:07,960 --> 01:13:10,360
Speaker 9: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1577
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 5: We love you and see you tomorrow.