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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: There are going to be things that we cannot change,

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Speaker 2: and it's really our approach to those things that matter.

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Speaker 2: So for the things that we cannot change, what do

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Speaker 2: I like about this? What opportunity am I going to

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Speaker 2: gain from this? What are the pluses or the pros

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Speaker 2: in this moment? So that that's what I focus on

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Speaker 2: until I get to a space where this situation can

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Speaker 2: be changed.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghearspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 2: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Broussard, a

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Speaker 2: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 3: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 3: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

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Speaker 3: black women can just be.

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Speaker 2: Hey, lady's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

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Speaker 2: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

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Speaker 2: in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please

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Speaker 2: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brussard dot com.

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Speaker 2: That's d R d Omi ni Que b r ou

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Speaker 2: Ssard dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation.

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Speaker 2: I look forward to hearing from.

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Speaker 4: You, all right.

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Speaker 2: Our quote of the day, if you don't like something,

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Speaker 2: change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

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Speaker 2: That quote comes to us from I beloved ancestor, doctor

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Speaker 2: Maya Angelou, and I'm gonna say that one more time

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Speaker 2: for the folks in the back, so that you hear

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Speaker 2: it and maybe you write it down.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: If you don't like something, change it. If you can't

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Speaker 2: change it, change your attitude.

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Speaker 4: T this quote.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot that's coming up for me as I'm

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Speaker 2: thinking about it. But what's coming up for you?

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Speaker 1: Bro?

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Speaker 3: I think that one it's a powerful quote. Number one.

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Speaker 3: Number two, I think it depends on what space you're

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Speaker 3: in and life right in order for you to actually

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Speaker 3: receive it, because I can who I was dealing with

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Speaker 3: some stressful situations recently, and I feel like if someone

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Speaker 3: were to share that quote, I'll be like, what, Like,

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Speaker 3: I'm not feeling that, But I'm like pretty grounded right now,

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Speaker 3: I'm feeling really good, had a really great day, and

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Speaker 3: I feel like I can receive it fully And I

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Speaker 3: cannot wait to jump into this conversation because perspective shifting

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Speaker 3: can really change our lives.

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Speaker 4: Like I really believe that.

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Speaker 3: I think that's what the quote is in essence saying,

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Speaker 3: you know, like it's really between your ears.

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Speaker 4: That's the part. Yes, that's the Yeah, that's.

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Speaker 3: The machine that is going to help shift everything else.

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Speaker 4: What about you? Don what comes up for you when

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Speaker 4: you hear that quote.

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Speaker 2: So the first thing that came up for me was

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Speaker 2: the serenity prayer, right, So for those that aren't familiar,

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Speaker 2: I'll just read it really quickly. God grant me the

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Speaker 2: serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to

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Speaker 2: change the things I can, and the wisdom to know

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Speaker 2: the difference. Right, And so then that came up for me,

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Speaker 2: and it made me think about there are lots of

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Speaker 2: things how important our perspective really is, right, because there

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Speaker 2: are lots of things in our world that we don't

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Speaker 2: have the power to change alone. Right Because then I

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Speaker 2: also think about doctor Angela Davis and one of her

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Speaker 2: famous quotes is, I'm no longer accepting the things I

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Speaker 2: cannot change. I'm changing the things I cannot accept. So

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna say that one one more time. I'm no

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Speaker 2: longer accepting the things I cannot change. I'm changing the

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Speaker 2: things I cannot accept. And so to me, all of that,

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Speaker 2: like all of those are about our perspective, right that

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Speaker 2: in recognizing that there is a reality in which we

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Speaker 2: live in that there's systemic oppression, there's all the isms

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Speaker 2: that we deal with on a regular basis, and how

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Speaker 2: we approach everything in life is truly about our perspective.

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Speaker 4: That is a fact.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So I guess it's time we might as well

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Speaker 3: just jump on in. So, lady, before we jump into

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Speaker 3: the meat of the conversation, we just want to lay

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Speaker 3: the foundation and give you an idea of what you

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Speaker 3: can expect. First, Okay, So, first, why this topic. I

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Speaker 3: don't know about you. But I've realized that there tend

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Speaker 3: to be things in life that I must do right,

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Speaker 3: and I don't always feel like doing them. There are

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Speaker 3: seasons in life that require my presence and attention in

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Speaker 3: order for me to maximize the journey and to grow

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Speaker 3: and to get all of the things I need to

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Speaker 3: get out.

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Speaker 4: Of that experience or journey.

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Speaker 3: And the thing is even still sometimes I don't want

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Speaker 3: to do that shit right, especially when it comes to

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Speaker 3: some of these adulting tasks. Okay, so, lady, I think

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Speaker 3: it would be who us all to have a conversation

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Speaker 3: about how we can make our lives more fulfilling and

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Speaker 3: more pleasurable, even when we're doing the things we may

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Speaker 3: not want to actually do, because our perspective manages everything.

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Speaker 3: So that's why this topic. Now, don go ahead and

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Speaker 3: tell them, tell them why they should stay until the end.

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Speaker 2: Listen, so you already know that T and I always

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Speaker 2: give you nuggets of wisdom. We are always dropping those

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Speaker 2: gems that can help you make your life better because

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Speaker 2: we care about you like we we here for you

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Speaker 2: right so in order to catch all of these nuggets

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Speaker 2: of wisdom, and we have ten of them for you today,

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Speaker 2: one you got to stay until the end. And two

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Speaker 2: when you stay until the end, you'll learn why it's important.

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Speaker 2: So three, stay until the end.

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Speaker 4: Period. That's it. Just stay to You will thank us later, Okay,

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Speaker 4: you will get later.

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Speaker 3: And I know this might be a pretty I want

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Speaker 3: to say, pretty basic word. I always love to just

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Speaker 3: begin with the definition, just to kind of further ground

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Speaker 3: the conversation. How would you how how do you think

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Speaker 3: we should think about perspective as we dive into this

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Speaker 3: conversation before we jump into our stories and situations where

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Speaker 3: we've had to shift our perspective.

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Speaker 2: We like to make sure we have reliable sources. So

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Speaker 2: we consult the research. We consult the dictionary, I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, Merrion Webster, Oxford, dictionary dot com, all the

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Speaker 2: things to make sure that we are also have a

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Speaker 2: grasp on how we want to talk about this word. Right, So,

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Speaker 2: perspective is about a particular attitude towards or a way

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Speaker 2: of regarding something. Right, it's a point of view, it's

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Speaker 2: your outlook. So again, perspective particular attitude toward or a

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Speaker 2: way of regarding something, a point of view, an outlook.

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Speaker 2: I want to be clear when.

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Speaker 5: I'm saying a point of view right, because there are

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Speaker 5: multiple ways of looking.

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Speaker 2: At things, and that is why we call it perspective

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Speaker 2: because it's not just one concrete way. It is a way,

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Speaker 2: so there could be others out there.

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Speaker 4: Perfect. I love it. I love it. Thank you Dom

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Speaker 4: for getting us nice and grounded.

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Speaker 3: Hey lady, it's Terry here. Dom and I want to

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Speaker 3: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 3: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 3: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 3: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 3: about this.

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Speaker 2: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 2: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your

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Speaker 2: business brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine

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Speaker 2: joining our monthly virtual video check ins where you can

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Speaker 2: connect with like minded black women like you and share

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Speaker 2: your ideas an episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now,

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Speaker 2: I want you to imagine a world where you're in

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Speaker 2: the exclusive Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout

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Speaker 2: your day and week, you are conversing with us about

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Speaker 2: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and

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Speaker 2: or personal wins. How does that sound?

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Speaker 3: Hopefully, This is up your alley, lady, because we are

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Speaker 3: taking things to the next level of this year, and

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Speaker 3: we're doubling down on investing in our community.

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Speaker 4: That means you.

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Speaker 3: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 3: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 3: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast

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Speaker 3: in twenty nineteen, and to date we have not missed

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Speaker 3: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all

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Speaker 3: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs.

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Speaker 3: We release fresh new content every single Friday light clock work,

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Speaker 3: and we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that

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Speaker 3: can really help you up level your life. So if

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Speaker 3: you love our mission or you've gotten value from us,

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Speaker 3: this community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon.

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Speaker 3: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 3: on Patreon, and we highly highly encourage you to join

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Speaker 3: the Sister Frontier so that you can get someone on

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Speaker 3: one time with us. We also have an option for

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Speaker 3: you to donate on a one time basis if that

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Speaker 3: meets your needs. Again Herspace podcast dot com and you

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Speaker 3: can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 3: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 4: Now. We did not.

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Speaker 3: Discuss this before we hit record, but I just want to.

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Speaker 3: I saw something on social media and I want to

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Speaker 3: remix it a little bit. And Lady, as you're tuning in,

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Speaker 3: whether you're at home, or you're driving, or you chilling,

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Speaker 3: whatever you're doing, I want you to also answer this question. So,

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Speaker 3: dom are you down to Are y'all down to play

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Speaker 3: with me for a little bit?

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Speaker 4: Love's do it? Okay?

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Speaker 3: So my question for you is if Auntie Oprah, right, like,

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Speaker 3: y'all really close your eyes and imagine this is Auntie

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Speaker 3: Oprah reached out to you and she was like, Hey, Tom,

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Speaker 3: I love all the work that you were and Arry

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Speaker 3: doing on the podcast. I feel inclined to write you

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Speaker 3: a check for one hundred million. And Lady, whatever your

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Speaker 3: personal situation is, you act like Auntie Oprah came to

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Speaker 3: you and said that how would you feel?

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Speaker 2: First of all, as soon as you said that, my

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Speaker 2: eyes popped right back open, like what what say? What say? What?

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Speaker 4: Okay? Okay?

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Speaker 2: So that that just immediate reaction to like is excitement?

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Speaker 4: Yes, excitement I mean.

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Speaker 2: Like that initial reaction, right, yes, pure excitement. And then

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna have the questions when I come down on

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Speaker 2: my excited high. Yes, then I'm gonna have the questions, right,

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Speaker 2: like what's the stipulations? What's the catch? Like, what's the requirements?

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Speaker 4: Before? Before? You're so funny because I know you order.

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Speaker 4: You're like, okay, this is cool. WHOA wait?

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Speaker 3: So before before we get into the questions, would you say, like,

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Speaker 3: right after you get that news, would anyone be able

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Speaker 3: to get you in a bad mood?

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Speaker 2: Hell?

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Speaker 4: No, I was gonna say for the most part, no, right,

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Speaker 4: like I'm a cloud nine, I'm good, right.

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Speaker 2: Unless unless you follow it up with some devastating news

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Speaker 2: like it's and I'm clear, I'm using that descriptor devastating news.

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Speaker 3: You ain't coming, you ain't knocking me off my high, okay,

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Speaker 3: And now the devastating news. The one condition Lady and

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Speaker 3: dom is that in order for her to give you

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Speaker 3: the one hundred million right now, like literally wire into

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Speaker 3: your account, not even to check your wire right now,

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Speaker 3: is that you don't wake up tomorrow?

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Speaker 4: Is okay? I was gonna say, is that still? Would

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Speaker 4: you still be interested? Like?

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Speaker 3: Is that still something, ladies, that's still something that you

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Speaker 3: would be like, okay, cool, sign up.

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Speaker 2: I shut the front door, like no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: And you know what's so interesting When I think about

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Speaker 3: that for myself, I'm like, real, for a fuck at

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Speaker 3: one hundred million, Like I would love to have it,

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Speaker 3: but I'm like, no, if I don't wake up tomorrow,

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Speaker 3: and so wors it's not worth it. And so the

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Speaker 3: guy on social media, it's literally a random reel that

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Speaker 3: I scrolled past and can't even find it. But what

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Speaker 3: he was asking the people when he gave a similar scenario,

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Speaker 3: not with Auntie Oprah, but he gave a similar scenario,

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Speaker 3: he was like, so that means that waking up is

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Speaker 3: more important and more valuable than a hundred million dollars.

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Speaker 3: When you think about it like that, it's like damn perspective. Right.

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Speaker 3: So he was like, well, why don't we feel like

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Speaker 3: that every day? Every day when we wake up? And

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Speaker 3: I was like, well, shit, I did, right.

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Speaker 2: I mean I will say I wake up grateful that

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Speaker 2: I woke up?

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Speaker 4: Right now?

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Speaker 2: Am I excited and life is on a high?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Not every morning?

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, no, we're just gonna be real. No, no,

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Speaker 2: but am I grateful that my eyes popped open.

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Speaker 3: Hell yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you. Is so important, right,

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Speaker 3: It's like it's just little things like that I think

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Speaker 3: can help us just understand one what we value, right,

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Speaker 3: because some lady might be listening tobody like, oh no,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna take it. I'll take it and make sure

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Speaker 3: my family is good. I mean, everyone has a different response.

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Speaker 3: I know mine would be you keep that, you keep

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Speaker 3: that money.

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Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm gonna I'm gonna get it on my

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it on my own. Right.

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Speaker 2: Now, here's a different perspective though, right, So that's me

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Speaker 2: now in this moment.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 2: But let's say that I was like a hundred right,

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Speaker 2: I done lived a full ass life. My life has

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Speaker 2: been wonderful, right, I don't seen and done more things

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Speaker 2: than I would have ever imagined.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm.

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Speaker 2: Told I get one hundred million dollars, but I don't

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Speaker 2: wake up. Well, we're gonna figure out how we can

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Speaker 2: use some of that money to make the days a

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Speaker 2: little longer, and I'm gonna spend I'm gonna spend that

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Speaker 2: day with all my family and then make sure everybody

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Speaker 2: is set up and then I've lived a good life.

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Speaker 4: There you go.

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Speaker 2: So to me, that's a different perspective. It depends on

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Speaker 2: your perspective really is relative to where you are in.

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Speaker 4: Life exactly.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, and that brings us to some juicy story time. So,

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Speaker 3: don when did your perspective make a situation feel worse

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Speaker 3: than it should have? Using air quotes on should can

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Speaker 3: you think of a time? I'm gonna think of one too.

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Speaker 2: There's not one specific situation that's coming up for me

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Speaker 2: right now, but what it makes me aware of is

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Speaker 2: is that if you are anxious or depressed, that that

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Speaker 2: puts a cloud over a lot of situations. And it

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Speaker 2: is easy to if you're anxious, to be overly worried

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Speaker 2: about a situation, So then it brings down it, It

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Speaker 2: makes it feel heavier than it needs to be. Right,

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Speaker 2: if you're feeling depressed, then you're how you are viewing

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Speaker 2: the situation is going to be typically way more pessimistic

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Speaker 2: and negative than what it really is.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm still I still can't think of anything personally,

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Speaker 2: but I just think that just immediately came to my mind.

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Speaker 4: No, that makes sense, that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: I'm also I'm trying to think of something as well,

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Speaker 3: and there are a couple of things like a little

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Speaker 3: too personal.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't want to share that we share.

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Speaker 4: I share enough with y'all. I ain't gonna share that one.

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Speaker 3: But one of the things that does come up I

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Speaker 3: think about recently, I got like a call from family

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Speaker 3: with some family drama, and in that moment, I kind

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Speaker 3: of felt like I went back into my younger self,

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Speaker 3: like my teenage self, when life was extremely stressful and

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Speaker 3: there was so much traumatic stuff and drama around me,

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Speaker 3: and I kind of went into that fight or flight mode.

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Speaker 3: And I do believe that my perspective it shifted the

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Speaker 3: way that I was showing up because sometimes I realized

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Speaker 3: that when I am stressed out, when I have anxiety,

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Speaker 3: I don't tend to eat or prioritize eating. I just

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Speaker 3: don't have an appetite, and I feel like I just

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Speaker 3: can't really be still. I just feel like I'm just like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, it's just anxiety, right, It's just a

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Speaker 3: very stressful, intense.

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Speaker 4: Go go go situation.

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Speaker 3: But the go go go was like within my body, right,

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Speaker 3: And so I do believe that if I I don't

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Speaker 3: know if I maybe took a moment to meditate and

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Speaker 3: take deep breaths and like, do all the things that

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Speaker 3: I know have served me well there in my toolbox,

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Speaker 3: I could have maybe navigated it a little bit better.

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Speaker 4: But that's the first one that comes to mind.

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Speaker 3: What about the other side of that question, is there

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Speaker 3: a perspective or is there a time when your perspective

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Speaker 3: made a seemingly negative or unpleasant situation delightful or better

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Speaker 3: than it should have have?

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Speaker 2: I would be real. I can't think of no negative

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Speaker 2: situation that felt delightful, not ever. But what I will

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Speaker 2: say is that when I am in a good headspace, right,

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Speaker 2: then what could be taken as a negative or unpleasant

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Speaker 2: I don't take it in. I don't personalize it. I

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Speaker 2: don't take it as this is something that I have

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Speaker 2: to address, Like I'm able to step back and be

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Speaker 2: more objective and I view right, so because I think

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Speaker 2: for me, what can happen is and when I say

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Speaker 2: take it personal, like if I'm anxious, then I'm wondering,

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Speaker 2: or like in moments when I have been depressed, I'm wondering. Well,

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Speaker 2: like let's say it's a work situation, right and you

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Speaker 2: know you work at If I work in academia, there's

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Speaker 2: always drama. Like whether it's within your department or on

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Speaker 2: the campus itself, there is always drama, right. But then

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Speaker 2: also just thinking about how the semester or the quarters

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Speaker 2: roll that it tends to be. It tends to flow,

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Speaker 2: the level of stress tends to flow with where you

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Speaker 2: are in the quarter or the semester. You can kind

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Speaker 2: of tell where things are, right Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And so.

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Speaker 2: If I'm in a good headspace and I'm taking care

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Speaker 2: of myself, like like my personal life is good, right

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Speaker 2: then when I'm at work, when things are stressful, when

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Speaker 2: we hit that stressful point, i am not taking on

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Speaker 2: all of that stress. I'm able to sit a little

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Speaker 2: bit above it. And not like in some power trip

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Speaker 2: sort of way, but I'm able to sit above it

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Speaker 2: to see what's happening, recognize it for what it is,

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Speaker 2: and navigate it in a way that doesn't bring my

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Speaker 2: energy down. But if my life is stressful, then I'm

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Speaker 2: not able to see above it. I'm like actually underneath it,

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Speaker 2: and it looks insurmountable.

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Speaker 3: I like the way you painted that picture too, Even

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Speaker 3: y'all have to you, lady, go to our website herspacepodcast

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00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 3: dot com and click on Patreon and you got to

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00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 3: watch the actual episodes. You know, we release these episodes

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Speaker 3: every Friday, but we also have videos. And now I'm

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Speaker 3: just watching you with your hands the way that you

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Speaker 3: just motioned. It gave I'm a visual person, so it

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Speaker 3: gave me a vision and I said, oh damn, that's

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Speaker 3: a really good way to think of it, like you can.

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Speaker 3: That's totally different from you having your life and everything

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Speaker 3: in order to being underneath the issue.

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Speaker 4: And it's like, God, damn, you just you know what

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Speaker 4: I mean, insurnoutable. So thank you for that. That makes sense.

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Speaker 3: I would definitely resonate with that. I would say that, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to give you a really example that I

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Speaker 3: believe you may connect with. So the example that I

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Speaker 3: want to share, dom is about this whole twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: COVID work from home situation. Now, Lady, I don't know

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00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 3: if y'all know, Domin, I still work full time and

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Speaker 3: manage this podcast and give you free episodes every Friday.

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Speaker 3: So we hope you love us as much as we

386
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Speaker 3: love you. Please go leave us a review on Apple

387
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 3: Podcasts and Little Plug. But I say all that. To say,

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Speaker 3: I got a low key mandate saying that I need

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Speaker 3: to be in the office two days a week. And

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Speaker 3: this is me being at home like most people for

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Speaker 3: the past what two three years or something three years? Yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: working from home. And so this week, like the day

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Speaker 3: that we're recording, this was my first week going into

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Speaker 3: the office for two days. And so over the weekend,

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Speaker 3: I was literally, this is my mind. Okay, I'm giving

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Speaker 3: you some insight, ladies, and to what's going on, I

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Speaker 3: was like, I don't feel like going into the know

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Speaker 3: all of this. I'm feel comfortable at home. I don't

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Speaker 3: want to do this. Oh my gosh. And to me,

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Speaker 3: that felt like an unpleasant, unpleasant and negative situation. I

401
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Speaker 3: don't want to be I want to work from what

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Speaker 3: my pajamas on. I don't want to have to map

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Speaker 3: out a commute and figure out how I'm going to

404
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Speaker 3: get there and all that. But then I said, okay,

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Speaker 3: I was like, all right, booe, this is what it is,

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Speaker 3: this is what they're asking for. So what are the

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Speaker 3: pros of this situation? That was one of the questions

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Speaker 3: I asked myself. And I'll say, okay, let's do it.

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Speaker 3: I know that this is my reality. What are some

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Speaker 3: of the benefits, And so I started to dive into

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Speaker 3: some of that, and for me, some of it was networking.

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Speaker 3: Even though I'm an introvert who turns on the extrovert,

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Speaker 3: I do enjoy being able to see people and converse

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Speaker 3: with folks. And today I went into the office and

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Speaker 3: had a really great experience connecting with colleagues. I also

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Speaker 3: dress up when I go into the office, so you know,

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Speaker 3: I do my face, a little something something, put on

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Speaker 3: some nice clothes. I don't get dressed often because my

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Speaker 3: Mom'm usually in mom gear exactly, I'm at home, I'm

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Speaker 3: in mom gear. So it actually gave me the new perspective,

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Speaker 3: actually made the commute more more. What is it where

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Speaker 3: I'm looking for more what's the word I'm looking for?

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00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 3: Not beneficial, but more exciting and also more pleasurable. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I actually enjoyed it, and I did a lot

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Speaker 3: of mental work to.

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Speaker 4: Prepare for that.

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Speaker 3: So, Lady, I think it's probably time, right, it's time

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Speaker 3: for us to dig in. Let's dig into some of

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Speaker 3: these ways that you can shift your perspective. So the

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Speaker 3: first one here is to stay open and ground yourself

431
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 3: with a meaningful mantra, whatever that mantra might be for you.

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Speaker 3: I know one of my favorites is everything is working

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Speaker 3: out for my good. And I will say that until

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Speaker 3: my last days. Like literally, we got into a car

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Speaker 3: accident a couple of months ago and I was just like, okay,

436
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 3: we were safe. Everybody came walk walked away fine. I

437
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, everything's working out for my good. We

438
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 3: ended up getting a newer car than I expected after

439
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: having the car we had for mad long, and I

440
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 3: was like, okay, so I'm driving in my new whip.

441
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 3: It rides so good, feels like a rental car. I

442
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 3: was like, okay, So I think having that mantra and

443
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 3: staying open can really be helpful when things come up

444
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,119
Speaker 3: that you're not expecting. So yeah, that's that's what I

445
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 3: would say about that first way down.

446
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 4: What about you?

447
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 2: I think the mantras are so helpful and Terry, you

448
00:26:55,280 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 2: introduced that mantra a while ago, and I started using

449
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 2: it too, like Okay, let me take a deep breath.

450
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 2: Everything is working out for my good, and like it

451
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,479
Speaker 2: just reminds me, you know, my favorite phrase, to trust

452
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 2: the process right that like I might not see it

453
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 2: right now, in this moment, but it's working out for

454
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: my good and staying open to like, that's also part

455
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 2: of trusting the process, is staying open to what might

456
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,399
Speaker 2: be unfolding because even if it doesn't feel good or

457
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 2: look good right now, it'll reveal itself. And so staying

458
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 2: open and yeah, just grounding yourself. You know, another one

459
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 2: if you're not in that space where you're like ready

460
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 2: to see the positive, right, because that's real because again,

461
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 2: depending on where we are in life, we might not

462
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 2: be in that space right. But another mantra could be

463
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 2: everything will be okay or all will be well. And

464
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 2: so just identifying what mantra it might be that you

465
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 2: need in that moment to help ground you. So then

466
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 2: that takes us to number two. Meditate. I like to

467
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 2: use mantras to meditate, and I've talked about it on

468
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 2: the podcast before. Meditation looks different for different people. Most

469
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 2: of the time, I use it to help me fall

470
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:45,479
Speaker 2: asleep because when I'm in that space where I'm really still,

471
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 2: it's easy for me to fall asleep. But the mantras

472
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 2: that we mentioned in number one might be something that

473
00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 2: you can use in your meditation. You start off saying

474
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: that mantra and then you let your thoughts drift into that,

475
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 2: into that space of everything is working out for my goods,

476
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: and you sit with that. Your your meditation could be

477
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 2: one minute, it could be two hours, whatever, whatever it

478
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 2: is that you need to help shift your perspective.

479
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 4: A men amen to that time.

480
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: I am a huge fan of meditation, and when I meditate,

481
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: I also love to visualize, Like visualization has been so

482
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 3: powerful for me in my life, and I believe that

483
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 3: when we're meditating and visualizing our ideal outcome for me,

484
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 3: that can help with the perspective shifting. And so you know,

485
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 3: we're recording this episode Lady on a Monday evening, and

486
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 3: so over the weekend. Really on Sunday night, that's when

487
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 3: I did a meditation and then I am envisioned by

488
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 3: entire week, so I went through each day. I will

489
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: say that this stuff, like meditation, visualization, this takes mental discipline.

490
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 4: Sometimes I really don't feel like doing that shit.

491
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: Like even over the weekend, I was like, I don't

492
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 3: feel like doing it. I just want to chill, I

493
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 3: just want to do nothing. I don't want to be

494
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 3: that focused on it. But then I was like, well,

495
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 3: what kind of week do you want to have? You know,

496
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 3: and I know that this is a challenge for me.

497
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 4: Get.

498
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 3: I mean it may not be a challenge for some

499
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 3: of y'all, but going from not leaving the house at

500
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 3: all or work and mustering up the energy and the

501
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: strength to interact with folks. Even though there's parts of

502
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 3: it that are exciting, some of.

503
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 4: It's like I was fine on Zoom, so there was.

504
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 3: A lot of a lot that I had to overcome

505
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 3: and CONTENDU with, and so the visualization was so powerful.

506
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 3: So I would just add that it's like a little

507
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 3: bullet point underneath the meditation, and then that takes us

508
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 3: to number three, which is begin saying I get to

509
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 3: instead of I have to. And I think that is

510
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 3: such a powerful perspective shifting activity. Okay, because girl, let

511
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 3: me tell you when we used to live in this

512
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 3: loft a couple of years ago in San Francisco. We

513
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 3: lived on the fifth floor, and sometimes the elevator will

514
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: break down and I'll get I would order I would

515
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 3: either go to the grocery store or I would order Instacar.

516
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 3: Either way the elevator was down, I had to walk

517
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,479
Speaker 3: up five flights through stairs with the groceries, And I

518
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 3: remember not gonna lie the first couple of times I

519
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 3: was bitching the morning, and then I was like, okay,

520
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 3: this is literally what I would say to myself. I'm like, Okay,

521
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 3: the groceries got to get upstairs. You're the only one home.

522
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 3: They got to get upstairs, so you gotta do this

523
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 3: shit anyway, So how are you going to? Like, how

524
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 3: are we gonna make it a bit more enjoyable? Because

525
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 3: I don't want to bitch and complain and moan all

526
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 3: the way up the stairs. I was like, Okay, well, huh,

527
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 3: I have legs at work. Well, damn if I woke

528
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: up tomorrow, Like, seriously, if I woke up tomorrow my

529
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 3: legs didn't work and I wasn't able to do this,

530
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 3: that would be pretty devastating for me because I'm so

531
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 3: accustomed to having this this ability. So then I began

532
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 3: to say, you know what I am, Like literally, I'd

533
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 3: be going up the stairs smiling, laughing, like oh, I'm

534
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 3: strong as shit. I got this, I got these groceries.

535
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 3: And I'd be like, oh so happy these legs work.

536
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 4: Ahead, strong ass legs, I see. Like I would just

537
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 4: have that type of energy about it. And then we

538
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 4: get done.

539
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 3: It changed the entire experience, changed up the whole energy,

540
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 3: changed up my experience, and bring in the groceries because

541
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 3: again the groceries have to go up the stairs anyway,

542
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 3: but it's more enjoyable when I shifted my perspective, What

543
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 3: are your thoughts on that down?

544
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: I mean, I didn't have to go up five flights

545
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: of stairs, but.

546
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 4: You got some stairs over there.

547
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 2: I got some stairs where I where I live now,

548
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,719
Speaker 2: and when I lived in Houston, I lived on the

549
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 2: third floor and there were no there was no elevator

550
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 2: there either, and so it was, oh, I get to

551
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 2: get in a quick workout. And that was that's my

552
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 2: perspective ship right of like Okay, I ain't doing no

553
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 2: StairMaster at the gym. That ain't happening. But walking up

554
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 2: these flights of stairs, I get a quick little workout in,

555
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 2: and if I have to get groceries, I would try to.

556
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 2: Now I can't in her front going up and down

557
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 2: them stairs multiple times.

558
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 4: Like nope.

559
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 2: I was like, I get to see how strong I

560
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 2: am by carrying all these groceries. My goal, My goal

561
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 2: typically is can I get all the groceries in one trip?

562
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 3: Girl of course, you know our heads be like boom boom, Right,

563
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 3: that's the goal, right, How.

564
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 2: Often do all the groceries in one trip? I did

565
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: a grocery run this morning, And now I will say

566
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: I didn't do it all on one trip because I

567
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 2: had paper bags this time, and them handles don't always

568
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 2: be working, and I was and I knew I was

569
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: going to be hot, okay if any of my groceries

570
00:33:54,760 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 2: fell out them bags. So I said, okay, I get

571
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: to make a second trip, so I get another opportunity

572
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 2: to get some cardio in. And so it's about your perspective,

573
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 2: like it's it's and oftentimes it doesn't take much to

574
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 2: shift that perspective. And so then that takes us to

575
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 2: number four, make a small change. So an example that

576
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: I like to share is when you commute most of

577
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 2: us and tea. Now that you're going back into the

578
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 2: office a couple of days a week, it'll this you'll

579
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 2: remember how this goes, right of like, oh, as you're commuting,

580
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 2: you're used to taking the same route every every day,

581
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: so you could be on autopilot. You get to a

582
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 2: point where you could you could get to work and

583
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 2: get home in your sleep. Because you know, you go

584
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 2: the same way every day, right sometimes actually every time,

585
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 2: and when you make a.

586
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: Slight deviation, it.

587
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 2: Can open you up to a whole new set of

588
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 2: things that you didn't even realize was around you because

589
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,280
Speaker 2: you take that same one street every day, that same

590
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 2: exact highway every day. Change your perspective by taking a

591
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 2: new route to work. I find that for me when

592
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 2: I was working in San Francisco in the evening rush

593
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: hour traffic, I would use a GP. I would use

594
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 2: the GPS. I ain't naming no names because we ain't

595
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 2: got no sponsors for it, but I would use a

596
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: GPS to navigate through traffic to get home. And what

597
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 2: I appreciated about it is that I knew my way

598
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 2: after taking the route a few times, I knew my

599
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 2: way to get home. But because traffic was always finicky

600
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 2: using the GPS, sometimes it would take me on various

601
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,280
Speaker 2: routes like out of the norm that I would usually take,

602
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 2: and so then I got to see other parts of

603
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 2: the city that I wouldn't normally get to see if

604
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 2: I just went that one route that I knew and

605
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: so taking and even in my new location, like every

606
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 2: now and then, I might hop off the highway because

607
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 2: there really is only one way, real way to get there.

608
00:36:54,920 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 2: So what I do is sometimes I might hop off

609
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 2: the highway to go to go to a store in

610
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 2: a neighborhood that I don't live in, just so that

611
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 2: I can see something different. What about for ut.

612
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 3: Definitely connect with what you said there, Dom, I would,

613
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 3: I would agree, like changing around. I was also thinking

614
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 3: about other small changes, I will say, Dom, Although I

615
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 3: consider myself to be a pretty flexible person, I think,

616
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 3: like most of us, it's easy to get comfortable. And

617
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 3: sometimes when you get comfortable, it is easy and it

618
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 3: becomes stagnant and you're just like, oh, this is the

619
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 3: way I'm accustomed to doing things, And so I like

620
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 3: to I might for me, I might have like make

621
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 3: a huge change versus make a small change, because to me,

622
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 3: sometimes I have to do something big and like bold.

623
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 3: So recently, maybe over the past year, so I've tried.

624
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 3: There's like a float spot in San Francisco that I've

625
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 3: gone to where you can do a cryo like the

626
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 3: sort of it's kind of like the frozen ice I

627
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 3: want to say, machine and you do a sauna and

628
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 3: a salt soak. And then I did this ice, ice,

629
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 3: fire and ice where you get into the ice cold

630
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 3: water that's like up to your neck. You lay in

631
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 3: the tub, and then you go into the saw. And

632
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 3: so things like that where I kind of challenge my body,

633
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 3: that helps me to shift my perspective. Also in the gym,

634
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 3: I've been in the gym regularly now, and so when

635
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 3: I'm in the gym and I'm seeing the changes with

636
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 3: my body and I'm also feeling stronger and just stretching myself,

637
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 3: that to me allows me to then shift perspective in

638
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: other areas of life. I don't know, like I feel

639
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 3: like when I'm stronger in the gym and my body stronger,

640
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 3: it allows me to focus on some of the mental

641
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 3: challenges that I might have in daily life. So I

642
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 3: would say, make small or big changes for this one

643
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 3: we're here, And then the next is number five is

644
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 3: use what I like about it is and or the

645
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 3: pros of this situation are right, So use those. I

646
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 3: guess you could say, like finish the sentence for those right.

647
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 3: And so this kind of goes back to what I said,

648
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be the dead horse, ladies. What I

649
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 3: said about this before was about I'm to going back

650
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 3: to work situation, and so when I was like, Okay, boom,

651
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 3: you got it. It's goinghead need to get done anyway.

652
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 3: What are the pros of the situation? And so what

653
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 3: do I like about this? And completing that sentence that

654
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 3: can be really helpful because I just I didn't feel

655
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 3: like complaining. I was just like, Okay, well this is

656
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 3: what it is. Let me figure out how to make

657
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 3: it more enjoyable because it has to get done anyway.

658
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that that's so important to look at

659
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 2: what are the what are the good things about this?

660
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 2: When it's something that you know you cannot change? Right?

661
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 2: What can I or yeah, what do I like about this?

662
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 2: What can I get out of this? What's the opportunity

663
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 2: in this for me? When it's something that you know

664
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 2: you cannot change? Because again going back to the Serenity

665
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 2: Prayer and our quotes from doctor Maya Angelou and doctor

666
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 2: Angela Davis, so thinking about there are going to be

667
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 2: things that we cannot change, and it's really our approach

668
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 2: to those things that matter. So for the things that

669
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: we cannot change, what do I like about this? What

670
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 2: opportunity am I going to gain from this? What are

671
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 2: the pluses or the pros in this moment, so that

672
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 2: that's what I focus on until I get to a

673
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: space where this situation can be changed. And so then

674
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 2: that takes us to number six, recite positive affirmations proactively.

675
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 2: So what does that look like? That means that when

676
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 2: you know you're going into a situation that you cannot change,

677
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 2: or even when you're coming out of a situation that

678
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: you can't change, or something that you didn't like before

679
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 2: you go to the negative, focus on immediately reciting those

680
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 2: positive your go to positive affirmations, right, And sometimes what

681
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 2: that also looks like is, Okay, I'm gonna be in

682
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 2: a regular habit of reciting positive affirmations so that when

683
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: situations come up that I don't like or that I

684
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: can't change, I'm already in a good headspace about it

685
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 2: because I'm generally in a good headspace with my positive affirmations,

686
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: and I know that the moment something negative pops up,

687
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 2: I could say, what's my positive affirmation? I have it

688
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 2: in my toolkit.

689
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 3: I love that, Domina. I think the emphasis here should

690
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 3: be on proactively because I don't know about you, but

691
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 3: I definitely did that person to fill up the tank

692
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 3: when it's only right when the light comes on, it's like, oh,

693
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 3: let me go into the gas station, versus when you

694
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 3: see it's getting you know, like, okay, it's getting a

695
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 3: little getting a little you know, getting a little low.

696
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 3: Let me go ahead and do it before the light

697
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 3: comes on. And so I think that reciting the positive

698
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 3: informations are so important. I mean, when you think about it,

699
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:25,720
Speaker 3: that energy is energy is real. And so I personally

700
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 3: believe that there are so many negative words, ideas, stereotypes,

701
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 3: so many things that whether it's social media, the news

702
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 3: that are just around in the world, that combating that

703
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 3: with positivity in general on a regular basis, I think

704
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: it's just so important. Like the same way that we

705
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 3: cleanse our body daily I hope, or every other day, right,

706
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 3: we cleanse our body often, no judgment, we clean our

707
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 3: body often, yes, not every day because I ain't gonna

708
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 3: lie doing the pendent. Okay, anyway, it was to take

709
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 3: a showers every single day. But well at another topic

710
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 3: for another day. But the same way that we cleanse

711
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 3: our body regularly, right, or we floss regularly, or we

712
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 3: push our teeth regularly, we should be doing the same

713
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 3: thing for our spirituality. Right, our spiritual being as well

714
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,359
Speaker 3: as our physical beings. Yes, recite positive afformations. Now, lady,

715
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 3: this episode is getting a little long, So what we're

716
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 3: gonna do here is for number seven, we want you

717
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 3: to tell us what do you like to do to

718
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 3: shift your perspective? And this is an interactive part of

719
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 3: this conversation. So, lady, what we want you to do

720
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 3: is go to our Instagram at her Space podcast on Instagram,

721
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 3: of course, and look for the orange square that says perspective. Okay,

722
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 3: this is going to be like an insider, all right,

723
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 3: So if you are listening to this part of the episode,

724
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 3: you're going to have an inside scoop that other people

725
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 3: may not have because they they didn't finish the episode

726
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 3: or they didn't get to this part. So go to

727
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: our instagram, take a look at that post if it's

728
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 3: a host from a while back, because of when you're

729
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 3: tuning in, scroll on down on Instagram feed, look for

730
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 3: the orange square that says perspective, and then in the

731
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 3: comment section you drop what you would add to the

732
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 3: list that we've already shared.

733
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 4: With you so far.

734
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 3: And then what we're gonna do is we're going to

735
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 3: share the additional three ways to shift your perspective in

736
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 3: the after show. So Dom and I are going to

737
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 3: sign off now for the main episode. We're going to

738
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 3: head on over to the after show. We're also going

739
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 3: to share a couple tips on how to not take

740
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: things personally. I don't know about y'all. Well, we a

741
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 3: little sensitive over here, So we're going to share with

742
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 3: you how to not take things personally as well and

743
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 3: the after shows. So to tune into the after show, lady,

744
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 3: and to support this podcast that is black founded, black funded,

745
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 3: and black owned, Okay, by two full time working black

746
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 3: women in America. Right, go ahead and visit our website

747
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:56,720
Speaker 3: herspace podcast dot com. Just click on Patreon and become

748
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 3: one of our patrons so you can get exclusive content,

749
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 3: hang out with us throughout the month, and all that

750
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 3: good stuff. So Dom, anything else before we head on

751
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 3: over to the after show.

752
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 2: A head on over to the after show. That's what

753
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 2: it's here for.

754
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, Well catch you on the other side.

755
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

756
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 2: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

757
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 2: mental health, but is by no means meant to be

758
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

759
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 2: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

760
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 2: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy

761
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 2: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

762
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 3: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

763
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 3: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

764
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 3: Twitter at her space podcast or check out our website

765
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 3: at herspace podcast dot com. And before we meet again,

766
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 3: repeat after me. I attract abundance and prosperity with ease