Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: And Historic Night.
Speaker 3: I'm historic.
Speaker 1: Are you a hologram? CNN has hologram technology, and I
Speaker 1: fear that you are, in fact a hologram.
Speaker 3: Oh I may not be here, John, but I am
Speaker 3: scratching sniff.
Speaker 1: I never should have brought that up. I do have
Speaker 1: one result that I want to bring up that I
Speaker 1: think is I went to school at the College of
Speaker 1: William and mary Go Tribe and it's the Commonwealth of Virginia,
Speaker 1: and it's a.
Speaker 3: Very proud state. Proud state, conservative state. Obviously, I've got
Speaker 3: the red card here.
Speaker 2: The Commonwealth of Virginia.
Speaker 1: Virginia is for lovers of Barack Obama.
Speaker 4: He has one Virginia, Barack Obama. Virginia has not gone democratic,
Speaker 4: I think.
Speaker 3: Since Joshua fought the Battle of Jericho.
Speaker 1: But it's a historic night, if you will. If Barack
Speaker 1: Obama does take this election, it will be in historic night.
Speaker 1: And I think at this point in the program, it's
Speaker 1: probably a chance to take a breath, to take a
Speaker 1: moment and to think about you know, oftentimes this country.
Speaker 1: Are very few countries in the world that live up
Speaker 1: to their creed, that live up to the documents of
Speaker 1: their founding that all men are created equal, and tonight,
Speaker 1: John America has proven itself on a world stage as
Speaker 1: a show country, not a tell country. They have shown that.
Speaker 3: We have right up to our creed.
Speaker 2: We are what we say we are.
Speaker 1: And there's not a lot of countries Belgium obviously accepted
Speaker 1: that can say that, because they obviously have said, look
Speaker 1: at us, we're depressed in each cheese. But America tonight
Speaker 1: lives up to its promise.
Speaker 5: Any thoughts he might he might actually win this thing, and.
Speaker 3: Maybe he does. I don't have any thoughts, but I
Speaker 3: do have I do have a lot of feelings.
Speaker 5: Okay, Okay, Now I'm no supporter of Obama, but if
Speaker 5: he does win, anyone would have to admit this is
Speaker 5: a night long overdue. We have a nation have reached
Speaker 5: that mountaintop because at long last, the United States have
Speaker 5: fulfilled the greatest part of freedom.
Speaker 3: We have a president who is Hawaiian. For decades, these.
Speaker 6: Proud people have been segregated from the rest of America.
Speaker 3: Literally on an island, Hawaiian.
Speaker 6: Kids growing up in grass huts thought their only choice
Speaker 6: in life. I was selling POI on street corners, were
Speaker 6: carving tiki idols just to put Mahi mahi on the table.
Speaker 6: Now they will know there are other options than trying
Speaker 6: to make it big as a ukulele player. They could
Speaker 6: be president of the United States. As Queen Lili Lukiani
Speaker 6: said so long ago, Melee Kaliguemaka, I have a dream.
Speaker 1: I actually think that means Merry Christmas. But the point
Speaker 1: is you have changed.
Speaker 2: John.
Speaker 1: Yes, I would just like to say, if I may,
Speaker 1: And that's a beautiful sentiment that you're making. At eleven
Speaker 1: o'clock at night Eastern Standard time, the president of the
Speaker 1: United States is Barack Obama.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe mobee.
Speaker 7: I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I'm mean, uh, let.
Speaker 1: Me let me take that back. I'm sorry I jumped
Speaker 1: the gun on that one. CNN projects that Barack Obama
Speaker 1: is the next president of the United States of America.
Speaker 1: It is now official. He has passed the two hundred
Speaker 1: and seventy electoral.
Speaker 2: Vote California, Oregon.
Speaker 1: The electoral vote it is now It is now two
Speaker 1: hundred and ninety seven for Barack Obama.
Speaker 2: On third, John Kay, John.
Speaker 3: The Cane, Yeah, the Kane can still pull this thing out.
Speaker 8: John, We're looking for used here.
Speaker 1: What Uh, where's supposed to cover now?
Speaker 2: Nothing? Nothing, Jason.
Speaker 1: The election's over.
Speaker 3: It's no, it can't be over.
Speaker 2: Hey, Hey, guys, who was.
Speaker 3: In on a swing state exit pool bus tour?
Speaker 2: Guys, it's over. The campaign is over.
Speaker 3: No, we don't know how to do anything else.
Speaker 9: John, We have been on the trail for two years.
Speaker 1: John, I missed the birth of our baby.
Speaker 9: Baby.
Speaker 1: Yes, you had a baby.
Speaker 2: Yes, say beautiful baby. I want to say. Boy Joe, Joe, Joe.
Speaker 6: I came over from England for this election.
Speaker 3: I haven't been home in two years. Got to hope
Speaker 3: somebody fed mykey.
Speaker 6: I hate to think of mew grip thatcher going hungry.
Speaker 2: Everybody just calmed down? We please? Who's crying?
Speaker 7: Rob Wriggle scared?
Speaker 1: No poles, no debaates, no, no prolonged discussions about whether
Speaker 1: or not a topic.
Speaker 3: Is appropriate to discuss.
Speaker 9: I get read about this election and over my guilt.
Speaker 1: First of all, it'll be fine. Second of all, why
Speaker 1: aren't you wearing pants?
Speaker 9: Tuh?
Speaker 10: Don't criticize my grific process store, John.
Speaker 1: John, Please don't let it out anything but that toss
Speaker 1: if you're in Pakistan.
Speaker 11: I am too upset to be consigned by your logic
Speaker 11: right now, John.
Speaker 10: He's been here for like four months and this has
Speaker 10: been nuts, right a first, Yea, we're all gonna die.
Speaker 1: We're not gonna die. Look, guys, I know you're all scared,
Speaker 1: but there was a world out there before this election,
Speaker 1: and there's still a world out there now.
Speaker 3: I'm not you're not.
Speaker 2: He's not mad.
Speaker 3: He's crazy.
Speaker 2: Month means crazy. Okay, I can prove it. Follow me
Speaker 2: to freedom. There's got to be a long and I
Speaker 2: have to.
Speaker 8: Come on.
Speaker 6: That's it, ef, you can do it.
Speaker 9: Come with.
Speaker 2: This way. Excuse So all that fresh air nighttime not anymore.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be okay, Billy, It's gonna be okay.
Speaker 9: Who are you guys?
Speaker 8: So this is what the world looks like after President Bush.
Speaker 6: Actually Bush is still president for another two and a
Speaker 6: half months.
Speaker 1: That's our show. Congratulations to Barack Obama, Thank you very
Speaker 1: much for Thank you, sir, jaming.
Speaker 2: Us, thanks to all our correspondence.
Speaker 1: Thanks to you all at home. We've been following this
Speaker 1: election so closely, and we really appreciate all the support
Speaker 1: that you've given us. And we hope you've enjoyed this
Speaker 1: as well. And we'll see you guys tomorrow, Good night,
Speaker 1: good night, Thank you very much, good evening. They were
Speaker 1: told to do that. Welcome to a very special live
Speaker 1: edition of The Daily Show. It is now official. We
Speaker 1: can call it. At eight hundred and fifty five hours
Speaker 1: and two minutes of this election night, the state of Florida,
Speaker 1: and it's twenty five electoral votes with one hundred percent
Speaker 1: of its precincts reporting will go to George W. Bush,
Speaker 1: and the crowd loves it. The final margin in the
Speaker 1: state of Florida five votes to four votes. Now, what's
Speaker 1: interesting about that is it's an eleven percent victory margin
Speaker 1: for George W. Bush, a lot greater than most pundits
Speaker 1: anticipated in what was considered a very tight race. Now
Speaker 1: we're still here crunching some numbers. We'll be here all night.
Speaker 1: But it looks like one of the most surprising things
Speaker 1: about this Florida vote is that George W. Bush got
Speaker 1: one hundred percent of the African American vote. Shocking, very
Speaker 1: surprising because traditionally, as you know, that's a Democratic voting block.
Speaker 1: Now with Florida, George Bush now has two hundred and
Speaker 1: seventy one electoral votes to Al Gore's two hundred and
Speaker 1: sixty seven, meaning that George Walker Bush will take office
Speaker 1: as this nation's forty third president of the United States. Actually,
Speaker 1: if I can, interesting fun fact about the election, al
Speaker 1: Gore got three hundred and fifty thousand more votes nationally,
Speaker 1: So that's kind of funny and kind of funny. I
Speaker 1: bet al Gore get a big kick out of that
Speaker 1: when he kind of amusing. Now, as is customary immediately
Speaker 1: following an election, the losing candidate gives a concession speech,
Speaker 1: and al Gore wasted no time this evening in giving
Speaker 1: his He was clearly caught off guard by the loss.
Speaker 1: And my guess is in the rush, probably just jotted
Speaker 1: down some notes on the back of a napkin.
Speaker 9: Here's a speech.
Speaker 3: Good evening.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what a sore loser.
Speaker 12: Now the US Supreme Court has spoken. Let there be
Speaker 12: no doubt. While I strongly disagree with the Court's decision,
Speaker 12: I accept it.
Speaker 9: Gore added, before you get too wild, that was pre correct.
Speaker 9: I'm not a strong man.
Speaker 1: Gore did express a conciliatory tone in his speech and
Speaker 1: talked of the spirit of unification.
Speaker 12: Well, in that same spirit, I say to President elect
Speaker 12: Bush that what remains of partisan ranker must now be
Speaker 12: put aside.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. I was gonna say something here, and
Speaker 1: I kind of blacked out when he said President elect Bush.
Speaker 9: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: There was a tunnel and I saw my childhood dog,
Speaker 1: mister whiskers. Then, of course, Gore thanked the people who
Speaker 1: helped him lose.
Speaker 12: Let me say how grateful I am to all those
Speaker 12: who supported me and supported the cause for which we
Speaker 12: have fought Tipper and I feel a deep gratitude.
Speaker 1: Wow, can I tell you what's weird? That is the
Speaker 1: same picture Gore used for his Havish Christmas card. And
Speaker 1: finally the money shot.
Speaker 12: And tonight, for the sake of our unity as a
Speaker 12: people and the strength of our democracy, I offer my concession.
Speaker 1: Did he concede? What do we do now? Did OJ
Speaker 1: or Monica do anything today? Yes, it's been an eventful
Speaker 1: twenty four hours. We're all just trying to process it
Speaker 1: and get things going. Let's take a quick look back.
Speaker 1: Today's concession came after a long night during which news
Speaker 1: channels focused on Swing states voter turnout. In the case
Speaker 1: of CNN, a massive TV clearance sale at Circuit City.
Speaker 1: Apparently it's one of those famous by one hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty LCDs get one free. Ohio emerged as the pivotal state,
Speaker 1: too close to call due to of uncounted provisional ballots.
Speaker 1: Cable news viewers were on the edge of their seats,
Speaker 1: wondering would this be another Florida. Fox News is now
Speaker 1: projecting that President Bush will win the state of Ohio.
Speaker 1: Oh I guess it won't. Unfortunately, for the next twelve hours,
Speaker 1: no one else had the balls to second the call,
Speaker 1: so we waited. Meanwhile, Republicans were picking up seats right
Speaker 1: and right. They widened their majorities by four in the Senate,
Speaker 1: at least two in the House of Representatives, and even
Speaker 1: somehow gain control of the Israeli kanesse. No one knows
Speaker 1: how they now they did it.
Speaker 8: De're very good at this how Doly.
Speaker 1: One of the GOP Senate gains came at the expensi
Speaker 1: of South Dakota's Tom Dashel, who had served as the
Speaker 1: Democratic minority leader. No word yet on what Dasher will
Speaker 1: do in private life. The insiders agree, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: it's safe to assume he'll be ineffective. As it's not pretty, folks,
Speaker 1: It's not a pretty day, but it's there as for
Speaker 1: the big winner. He spoke at what appeared to be
Speaker 1: the w Hotel and appealed for unity to.
Speaker 11: Make this nation stronger and better. I will need your support,
Speaker 11: and I will work to earn it. I will do
Speaker 11: all I can do to deserve your trust.
Speaker 1: Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to do all those things
Speaker 1: I did these first four years. I can change, baby,
Speaker 1: You know I can change. Give me one more. You
Speaker 1: know I love you. That's why I hit you.
Speaker 9: You know that.
Speaker 2: It's because I love you.
Speaker 1: And then it was time for the president to let
Speaker 1: the healing begin.
Speaker 11: Reaching these goals will require the broad support of Americans.
Speaker 11: I want to speak to every person who voted for
Speaker 11: my opponent.
Speaker 1: You can run, but you can't hide.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you.
Speaker 9: Gotta rely.
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Speaker 1: This has been a Comedy Central podcast now