WEBVTT - Rockstar Moms Cry Too

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm Mela.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's Wednesday. It's Wednesday, it's wet, it's weird. Okay. Honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>I know I can sing better than that because you

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<v Speaker 2>saw my singing kills on the Jessica Rowes episode. Everyone

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<v Speaker 2>saw it. They said, wow, once the album's dropping, they did,

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<v Speaker 2>They fucking did. They were like, whoa iout expecting that.

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<v Speaker 2>They like thought I was about to like pull some

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<v Speaker 2>bullshit and they were like, whoa bitch, I can't really sing.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, duh, I'm just gonna keep the

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<v Speaker 1>conversation going that.

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<v Speaker 2>The Wednesday that was that was me just fucking around.

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<v Speaker 2>That was me trolling you. Oh okay, but if it's

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<v Speaker 2>oh my god, what a Wednesday? Wow?

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<v Speaker 1>What have we done to deserve all of this this Wednesday? Wow?

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<v Speaker 2>I drink a lot of water today, guys, so I'm

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<v Speaker 2>feeling really healthy. I'm on my first day of my waterfast.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh so it's just water, water and tea for how long?

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<v Speaker 2>Last time? I did five days. I'm gonna prob, you're

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<v Speaker 2>just gonna drink water and tea for five days. I

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<v Speaker 2>did it last time that you're drinking some juices or something.

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<v Speaker 2>Then I went to juice. So you start water and

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<v Speaker 2>tea for how many days? First of all, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to tell people, I'm not a health professional. This you die,

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<v Speaker 2>you pass out, it's not my fucking problem. This works

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<v Speaker 2>for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Now if you pass out, it's not my fucking problem.

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<v Speaker 2>I because people always ask me, like, when did your routine?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, you don't want my routine. It's not good.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not I don't know if it's healthy. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if it's worth works for people, and it works

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<v Speaker 2>for me. So it's water and tea, and then what

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<v Speaker 2>it's water and tea for five days. I also do

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<v Speaker 2>heated yoga during this time because I'm not sure to

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<v Speaker 2>pass out, because I want to pass out a little bit,

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<v Speaker 2>because you're not really doing anything unless you're passing out

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit. And then I go into juicing for

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<v Speaker 2>five days maybe seven, and then from there I eat

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<v Speaker 2>raw for like three days and then I go vegetarian.

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<v Speaker 2>So this is a a two week. My birthday is

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<v Speaker 2>in like two weeks. I want to do you want

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<v Speaker 2>to die on your birthday? I want to be fucking snatched. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>but you're not gonna drink on your birthday. So if

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<v Speaker 2>you drink only water, that's by the time I eat food,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be eating food by then. Okay, But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the last time I did this past I realized how

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<v Speaker 2>like I don't really need to eat, Like how food

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<v Speaker 2>is really annoying.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I agree, food is really annoying. I'm addicted to

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<v Speaker 1>it because there's they sprink a little bit of crack

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<v Speaker 1>in it in America, for sure, they're sprinking a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit of like addictive crack or something very addictive and

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<v Speaker 1>harmful to your body.

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<v Speaker 2>Not addictive crack. I'm pretty sure crack itself is just addicted.

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<v Speaker 2>It's extra.

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<v Speaker 1>It's extra extra, some extra credatives to the crack, for sure,

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<v Speaker 1>because I go to the supermarket and my body doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>feel good about it, Like I'm like buying stuff because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm used to it, but I also know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's absolute bullshit.

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<v Speaker 1>Like have you ever had something sitting in your like

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<v Speaker 1>your refrigerator too long and then you're like, this is

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<v Speaker 1>not food.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no way this is I literally just opened up

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<v Speaker 2>Hawaiian bread that's been sitting in my cabinet, not even

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<v Speaker 2>in the refrigerator and the cabinet for at least forty

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<v Speaker 2>five days. You know, not one mold. Do you know

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<v Speaker 2>how much plastic hasted be in our shit? And I

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<v Speaker 2>definitely put in my daughter's lunch today, I know, I

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<v Speaker 2>did the same thing. She's like, I want takis.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, this is sugar and salt. Sure, it's disgusting.

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<v Speaker 1>Even I bought some bananas and I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>they were not organic, but they were green, so I

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<v Speaker 1>had time for them to like ripen. They like stayed

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<v Speaker 1>green but still ripened. I was like, this is not real.

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<v Speaker 1>None of this shit is real. I'm really I'm stressed

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<v Speaker 1>about it, but I think maybe I need to stop

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<v Speaker 1>eating too.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I know when I was on like day five

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<v Speaker 2>of the water like around the last day at my

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<v Speaker 2>water fast, I was like, because I was going to

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<v Speaker 2>go from water back to like maybe vegetarian, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, I'm good, what day is today? Oh? Day

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<v Speaker 2>is one? I'm just like glad. I was just like

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<v Speaker 2>the day four or five. I don't know if anyone's

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<v Speaker 2>ever done a water fast, but I literally felt like

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<v Speaker 2>I was becoming enlightened, Like something in my brain started

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<v Speaker 2>shifting true and I felt something change in my brain

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<v Speaker 2>like less foggy, less like super clear, almost like more joyful,

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<v Speaker 2>and then just like hat more patient. Just I literally

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<v Speaker 2>felt like Buddha a little bit. I was like, is

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<v Speaker 2>this like the makings of Buddha? Water is the makings

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<v Speaker 2>of Buddha. That's why I always say people going fast,

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<v Speaker 2>that's true, but like you do have spiritual experiences when

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<v Speaker 2>you fast, and every religion, no matter what religion, niggas

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<v Speaker 2>be fasting. I really felt that way and then and

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<v Speaker 2>then I really do like when I started to incorporate food,

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<v Speaker 2>I was almost like hesitant. I was like, bitch, you

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<v Speaker 2>have to eat, but I was like, not to, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't really want to. I was like my body was

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<v Speaker 2>so pure, and then I did. I trashed the fuck

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<v Speaker 2>out of my body after that, like I think right

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<v Speaker 2>after that, went to New Orleans.

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<v Speaker 1>Bitch, I really want I really if anyone knows the

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<v Speaker 1>gangster gardener, I really want him to come on our

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<v Speaker 1>show because we need to start a garden.

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<v Speaker 2>Bitch. I know I have a whole backyard. I know,

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<v Speaker 2>why don't we have a garden. Why don't feel like

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<v Speaker 2>we're eating corn from God knows where? But yeah, but yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm doing my fast because my birthday is coming

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<v Speaker 2>and this tour and just the past month, I've just

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<v Speaker 2>been just not taking care of myself. And I feel

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<v Speaker 2>it every time my body does this to me, it

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<v Speaker 2>starts screaming at me, my insides her it feels like

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<v Speaker 2>they're on fire. I'm irritating.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really hard to take care. It's hard to take

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<v Speaker 1>care of yourself when you're moving as quickly as we're moving,

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<v Speaker 1>like in Costa Rica. It's easier because we're eating real

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<v Speaker 1>foods because in Costa Rica they don't poison their people

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<v Speaker 1>with the cracked and plastic, so like coming back here

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<v Speaker 1>is always like a terrible adjustment to the plastic American food.

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<v Speaker 2>Did they feed us? So I feel you? And also, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we just got back from a tour.

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<v Speaker 1>We've only been back a week, right, we've been back

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<v Speaker 1>a week, and we were gone for eleven days and

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<v Speaker 1>we went to five cities in eleven days. And yo,

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<v Speaker 1>I've thought that I was a rock star, but I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not a rapper like I thought I had all

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<v Speaker 1>the makings of like a super rock star.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think you do, I think I don't. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I watched you. I watched you rockstar your life away,

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<v Speaker 2>and I had to take intermediate breaks. I had to

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<v Speaker 2>take some intermediate breaks, and then I felt weird at

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<v Speaker 2>one time, at the very end, it was like, what's wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't know, but I want to cry.

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<v Speaker 2>She was like, are you sad? I was like maybe.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like I don't know. She's like, I'm worried

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<v Speaker 2>about you. I was like, don't be and then like

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<v Speaker 2>a few days later she's like, I'm I think I'm

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<v Speaker 2>cracking too. I cracked, you know what, Just I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like if all this adrenaline built up about what

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<v Speaker 1>you're about to do, and we did. We had so

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<v Speaker 1>much adrenaline. We literally wrote the show the day of

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<v Speaker 1>the show, like the first day on Chicago we had

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<v Speaker 1>no show. We just were like, I think we should

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<v Speaker 1>come up with the show now. We had like makings

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<v Speaker 1>of a show. And then finally the day of the

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<v Speaker 1>Chicago show, not like the day before.

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<v Speaker 2>The day of. But that's how we work. That is

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<v Speaker 2>we work.

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<v Speaker 1>We work well under pressure, which I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>it's good for our mental health.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not. It's really not. And then like we got

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<v Speaker 2>into a fight.

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<v Speaker 1>There was We got into like a little like we

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<v Speaker 1>gotta a look caddy with each other because I was like.

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<v Speaker 2>We need to go through that. Oh yeah you did.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like the way you talked to me. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I'm tired of your fucking facial expression adopted from

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<v Speaker 2>your fucking boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>It was, you know what, we we work well under pressure,

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<v Speaker 1>but we also may kill each other in the process.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, and there's a lot happening.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot happened.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you realize a lot happened in

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<v Speaker 1>the whirlwind of.

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<v Speaker 2>This the situation. What I mean with you, like you

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<v Speaker 2>had you were dealing with a lot of ship. A

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<v Speaker 2>lot of ship popped up.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, why right now we have a ship to do.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like trying to be a supportive friend. I also

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<v Speaker 1>want to curse you out because we need to have

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<v Speaker 1>a show. I was like, if I go on stage

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<v Speaker 1>night and I don't know ship, I'm.

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<v Speaker 2>Gonna blame you. If I go up there and I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Shit, I'm gonna blame you. And there wasn't There were

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<v Speaker 1>a few moments. I was just like, I forgot but

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<v Speaker 1>nobody noticed. I mean, there was we were, you know what.

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<v Speaker 1>Shout out to us for having a very honest show

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<v Speaker 1>because you can't really catch it slipping because we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>tell you.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I got to pee up, be right back, y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>She literally left me on stage to go pee. She

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<v Speaker 2>was like, I gotta go.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, okay, I got a peep, be your back.

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<v Speaker 1>Like where in America you ever gone to a show?

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<v Speaker 1>And the bitch said, she has to be. I'm about

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<v Speaker 1>to sing this song, but give me one moment.

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta take a bath. But overall, the show was amazing,

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<v Speaker 2>even though we made it at the last minute.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of times throughout the show I was

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<v Speaker 1>just like, we're crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, we're ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a time in phil Every show is special, but

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<v Speaker 1>there was like a time in Philly where our guests

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<v Speaker 1>didn't get the memother were coming out yet, probably because

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<v Speaker 1>we didn't tell them because we're telling too many things.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, it's okay, let's just dance a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you remember. Yeah. I was like, Oh, she's not

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<v Speaker 2>here yet, don't worry. I know because I can see

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<v Speaker 2>or Lando go run to the back to go fetch her.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I saw her with her sub on a

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<v Speaker 2>leash walk walking. I was like, they're coming, They're coming,

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<v Speaker 2>this up, Marley's coming, Okay. I was like, but in

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<v Speaker 2>the meantime, just look at this dance move I can.

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<v Speaker 1>Do like like a grown ass kid, like, look, mom, look.

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<v Speaker 2>I put on this new outphit literally I was like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>this is crazy, ridiculous of us. But it was great.

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<v Speaker 2>It was great. We had, our guests were amazing. I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like every city had had its own special little

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<v Speaker 2>twist and shout out to Tyomi and Chicago, so marvelous

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<v Speaker 2>in Philly, wait, you know New York's Marley and Philly

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<v Speaker 2>baby Mava and Cocktails in Atlanta and so Maaya in

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<v Speaker 2>DC sexual aka Sexual Dot Essentials. Like it was just

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<v Speaker 2>all perfect. It was really perfect. It was really perfect.

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<v Speaker 2>And man, and then like selling out certain cities while

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<v Speaker 2>we're on the road, Like I just I just can't

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<v Speaker 2>believe we sold out cities in cities I don't know people,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, what I know. I was like, wow, you're crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>You like me, huh, that's so cool, that's so cool,

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<v Speaker 1>that's so cool. I was really like pretty, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>like not overwhelmed. But like, first I was very nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>I said it like four hundred times. I'm sure you

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<v Speaker 1>had listened, and I was like, I'm so nervous. And

0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:20.400
<v Speaker 1>then I kept telling Erica. I'm like, it doesn't matter

0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:21.320
<v Speaker 1>how nervous I am.

0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:24.120
<v Speaker 2>We have to do it. I was like, no matter what,

0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:26.760
<v Speaker 2>I still have to do it. Yeah, And then we

0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:27.640
<v Speaker 2>did it in h City.

0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:30.960
<v Speaker 1>It got easier and easier, and I get more confident,

0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:34.080
<v Speaker 1>and I still fucked up sometimes, but it was still

0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.200
<v Speaker 1>like it was the best, like the best.

0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.800
<v Speaker 2>I cursed out somebody on stage. She sure did, Yeah

0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:40.480
<v Speaker 2>she did.

0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, this, bitch, we'll get attacked even if

0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:44.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm on stage.

0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:46.599
<v Speaker 2>I don't care. I didn't know. I saw there was

0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.680
<v Speaker 2>an attack happening, but I was like she just I thought,

0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:52.920
<v Speaker 2>like spirit touched you, and like spirit like just compelled

0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:54.960
<v Speaker 2>you to like just go in. I was like, so

0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:57.520
<v Speaker 2>she's gone, She's gone preacher mode.

0:10:58.000 --> 0:10:59.679
<v Speaker 1>It was just a bitch in the audience. I know,

0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.800
<v Speaker 1>a regular bitch in the audience, one bad seed who

0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:03.880
<v Speaker 1>wasn't even supposed.

0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.760
<v Speaker 2>To be there. I know, why the fuck did? She

0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:07.200
<v Speaker 2>was a weird, strange energy.

0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:10.160
<v Speaker 1>When when Missus Marley came on stage with her sub

0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I could just see. I just zoomed and then there

0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.080
<v Speaker 1>was the bitch in the front and she was like, ah,

0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:16.959
<v Speaker 1>this is wrong, this is wrong. Erica was like mid sentence,

0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:20.079
<v Speaker 1>I was like, this is consensual and if you don't

0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:21.680
<v Speaker 1>like it, I stood up out of my seat like

0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:22.000
<v Speaker 1>you can.

0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.680
<v Speaker 2>Get the fuck out. She literally creeped up like a.

0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:29.000
<v Speaker 2>I saw her like creep crawl, and her next started

0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.559
<v Speaker 2>thing you know, I get, and I was like whoa.

0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:37.040
<v Speaker 1>I got like very feline like, like I was gonna

0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:40.160
<v Speaker 1>pounce into the audience because I maybe would have, but

0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:41.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to embarrass us, so I continued the

0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:45.240
<v Speaker 1>show right after I nipped it in the butt. And

0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:47.320
<v Speaker 1>then the bitch tried to like participate later and raise

0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:49.560
<v Speaker 1>her hand and I was like, nah, bitch, you don't

0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:51.599
<v Speaker 1>even You're never supposed to be here. You lucky to

0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.600
<v Speaker 1>get kicked out. But security a security.

0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.079
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember us walking through like the kitchen and

0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.000
<v Speaker 2>her lingerie? Like the security. I was like, oh my god,

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:04.760
<v Speaker 2>we as professional stars. We got the curney that Securtie

0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:08.120
<v Speaker 2>couldn't do shit. If anything went down, he did. I

0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.080
<v Speaker 2>just don't know how we thought we were ever gonna

0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:12.800
<v Speaker 2>have him makeup ARTISTO or makeup in any city. It

0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:14.720
<v Speaker 2>would make it like I don't know who were thought.

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.240
<v Speaker 2>We were like as far as planning goes, like it

0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 2>didn't matter how early we got to sound check. We

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.559
<v Speaker 2>were barely making it by a thread to the stage

0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 2>on time.

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Every time, every single time there rest at a time.

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, at some point in this tour, we have

0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:32.200
<v Speaker 1>got to be on time. And you know, poor Orlando,

0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:35.520
<v Speaker 1>not only to we like caddy out each other, but

0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:38.440
<v Speaker 1>then we bring Orlando into the mix, poor thing. We're

0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:40.679
<v Speaker 1>usually only used to doing things alone and like, we

0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:43.680
<v Speaker 1>couldn't have done this alone, so shout out to him.

0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:45.840
<v Speaker 1>But there's probably a couple of times we almost like

0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.320
<v Speaker 1>bit his head off too, yep. And I was like,

0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm not your girlfriend, I'm your boss, and I'll fight you.

0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.200
<v Speaker 1>I was like, is my relationship going to last after this?

0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Yet here you are, Here, we are We made it.

0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.480
<v Speaker 2>There are definitely some really epic moments during the tour,

0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:09.960
<v Speaker 2>one specifically in Philly where we had a competition and

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:13.319
<v Speaker 2>the bitch pulled her whole fucking wig off to participate,

0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.680
<v Speaker 2>literally peeled the wig off of her head.

0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 1>We have footage, so David, we're gonna send you this. Yeah,

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.520
<v Speaker 1>we got to insert it right here.

0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:23.319
<v Speaker 2>Okay. People were like, I thought you plan that, No,

0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 2>but she can't plan no shit like that. Matter of fact,

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't even I don't even want to. This is

0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:29.200
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna go on. It's got to go on Patreon

0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 2>because it was just that fucking good. It's that fucking good,

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:36.520
<v Speaker 2>you guys, and what she was doing for the reasons

0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:40.920
<v Speaker 2>of pulling this wig off Patreon only because I don't

0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.120
<v Speaker 2>think I think YouTube will kick us off for sure.

0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:48.400
<v Speaker 1>But overall, you know, we're I've come to the conclusion

0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.600
<v Speaker 1>we are very spicy bitches. You know when I when

0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:54.720
<v Speaker 1>I think of our show and foot like full entirety.

0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 1>First of all, we had family members come to our

0:13:58.040 --> 0:13:59.120
<v Speaker 1>shows throughout you.

0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.360
<v Speaker 2>Had family members. Did my family really showed up? I

0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.679
<v Speaker 2>don't think I'm ever gonna invite you. Actually, well had

0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:04.559
<v Speaker 2>my brother came, but.

0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.040
<v Speaker 1>My cousin came to d C. I mean my cousin

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 1>came to Chicago. I had, I had. We didn't have

0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:11.320
<v Speaker 1>any family in New York. We had like a lot

0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:11.840
<v Speaker 1>of friends.

0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 2>My man was there, but that was the first one,

0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:15.880
<v Speaker 2>and I had to be like, hey, babe, so listen,

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:18.280
<v Speaker 2>so I want to do something weird on stage, just

0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:20.840
<v Speaker 2>so you know. And then he came to every show

0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 2>after that, so you know, I broke him in real good.

0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.160
<v Speaker 1>Well, but that first show he came to, he kind

0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.120
<v Speaker 1>of got the light version because he did get the

0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 1>lame Remember, we like we had to skip it, We

0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:30.040
<v Speaker 1>had to skip some things.

0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 2>Wow, but now he knows full throttle proud proud boyfriend

0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:37.280
<v Speaker 2>is he is proud?

0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:40.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean we really, we really pushed the envelope with

0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:41.480
<v Speaker 1>our boyfriends.

0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:42.000
<v Speaker 2>It's true.

0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:45.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean we really made it a point to get

0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.560
<v Speaker 1>fine niggas in every city. We sourced them just so

0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.280
<v Speaker 1>we could like rub on them and ship.

0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:52.200
<v Speaker 2>And we're not talking about our men. We're talking about

0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 2>other men that we bought and made them come. We

0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:56.800
<v Speaker 2>bought men. We didn't make them come, but we made

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.600
<v Speaker 2>them come to the show. Yeah they probably came after.

0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:01.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they for sure did. I was like, this is

0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:03.320
<v Speaker 1>the best one hundred dollars you've ever made.

0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 2>It's true.

0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna rub up all over you. I'm the first

0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.080
<v Speaker 1>time that greasy up with coconut oil. And then I'm

0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.560
<v Speaker 1>gonna dance all over you with my dance moves, and

0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:12.160
<v Speaker 1>then you're gonna enjoy this shit.

0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:17.080
<v Speaker 2>They did. They I still think I think the finest men,

0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:22.400
<v Speaker 2>the finest man and men were in Chicago and DC.

0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Those are the two finest men.

0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:28.560
<v Speaker 1>I could agree, except you know what, I don't care

0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.600
<v Speaker 1>how fine you are. If you fucking spray me with

0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.320
<v Speaker 1>tequila and my fucking eye, it's the fineness is over.

0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 2>That's true. I thought he was fine, and then I

0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:37.360
<v Speaker 2>was like, I hate you. Get the fuck off stage. Actually,

0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:40.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, what the fuck. There was a moment

0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.560
<v Speaker 2>where Jamila asked for him to pour alcohol in her mouth,

0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.640
<v Speaker 2>and instead of pouring it in her mouth, she literally

0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:49.120
<v Speaker 2>I watched it, just poured it directly in her eyeball.

0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, do you hate me? With the fun

0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:52.880
<v Speaker 2>and the other guy? I asked him to pour alcohol

0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:55.320
<v Speaker 2>in my mouth and he proceeded to fill my whole

0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 2>entire mouth with tequila, not like a shot, like it

0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.560
<v Speaker 2>was overflowing. I had to spit the whole shit out.

0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.240
<v Speaker 1>Bradley Gaines and your cousin are probably not gonna get

0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.560
<v Speaker 1>hired for this role again unless there's no alcohol.

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.520
<v Speaker 2>They don't drink obviously. Yeah, well they f I can

0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.840
<v Speaker 2>eat fruits and berries because what the fuck? No one's

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:15.960
<v Speaker 2>ever poured of some tequila ever and not even in

0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:17.640
<v Speaker 2>a cup. I mean, but like when you can come,

0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:19.280
<v Speaker 2>is that how you come? And bitches eyes like, what

0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.520
<v Speaker 2>the fuck is wrong with you? I literally could have

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.240
<v Speaker 2>cursed him out on stage. What the fuck is wrong

0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.840
<v Speaker 2>with you? Anyway? No, but you hooru at you huru.

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.560
<v Speaker 2>He was a sweet, kind guy and he was fine.

0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:34.640
<v Speaker 2>He was fine, He was very fine. He only needed

0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.320
<v Speaker 2>one of them. I know. I wish we could could

0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:37.160
<v Speaker 2>have went on tour with us.

0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I know we couldn't. He seemed quiet like he could

0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.760
<v Speaker 1>he could do fine. The two guys in Philly were

0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:45.360
<v Speaker 1>really kind too. They were They took their role to

0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.480
<v Speaker 1>the next level. They were selling merch topless and apparently

0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 1>City Winery wasn't feeling that they made him put.

0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Their shirt they did. They made him put their shirts

0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 2>back on. Really, we actually got to call Christian about that.

0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:55.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't like that. What the fuck?

0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.400
<v Speaker 1>Don't be telling my staff but their shirt back on?

0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:58.440
<v Speaker 1>This is the experience.

0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:00.440
<v Speaker 2>Wow. I had no idea because it was Sunday. I

0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 2>don't know. They were tripping on Sundays and alcohols and things.

0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:05.200
<v Speaker 1>You know, we live in it like a very free state,

0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:06.680
<v Speaker 1>so there's rules in other places.

0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:10.520
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea. Yeah, what else did we do

0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:12.000
<v Speaker 2>in this stop? We did a lot. We did a

0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 2>lot of partying a lot.

0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.800
<v Speaker 1>We had to really embody our full rocks to ourselves

0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:18.639
<v Speaker 1>in order to like last.

0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:20.520
<v Speaker 2>We did, I did. I had to. I had to

0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:22.160
<v Speaker 2>keep drinking, even though I didn't want to. I didn't

0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:23.840
<v Speaker 2>want to drink anymore, but I had like I had to.

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:25.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean it was part of the show.

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:30.679
<v Speaker 1>We got drunk every night day one, and when we

0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:31.879
<v Speaker 1>had a show with the next day and had to

0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.359
<v Speaker 1>wake up at five in the morning for a flight,

0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:34.080
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I don't.

0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.159
<v Speaker 2>Know, mak No. There was one night I had to

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:37.879
<v Speaker 2>tap out, like y'all went out, even my man went

0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.240
<v Speaker 2>out with y'all. I was like, I'm going to sleep now,

0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:43.000
<v Speaker 2>you guys, good luck, have fun. I'm going to sleep

0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.399
<v Speaker 2>and rest. I think that's the only reason I survived.

0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:48.160
<v Speaker 2>Plus I had to get on a flight because mom guilt.

0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:50.359
<v Speaker 2>I think we talked about this in an episode before

0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:53.200
<v Speaker 2>where I said I was gonna fly back to la

0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:57.680
<v Speaker 2>for one day. Oh yeah, with Macey. I was gonna

0:17:57.720 --> 0:17:59.440
<v Speaker 2>fly back to LA for one day to see my daughter,

0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:02.600
<v Speaker 2>but daughter do ants for five minutes, maybe three and

0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:07.320
<v Speaker 2>a half minutes. I did that. I left Atlanta, flew

0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:11.760
<v Speaker 2>to La surprised Iri. She was super excited. Then took

0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:15.720
<v Speaker 2>her to school in the morning. She disrespected me. My

0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.000
<v Speaker 2>daughter's at the age now where she doesn't want me

0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.239
<v Speaker 2>to doesn't want to acknowledge me when I walk her

0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:21.960
<v Speaker 2>into school, but wants me to walk her to school.

0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.920
<v Speaker 2>It's the most confusing shit, Like she wants me there

0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:27.960
<v Speaker 2>but like ten feet behind her. And obviously I was

0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:29.840
<v Speaker 2>super tired, so I was like, what the fuck, Like

0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:32.919
<v Speaker 2>I just flew out here, you better like walk with me,

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 2>Like you don't have to kiss me, but like walk

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:38.560
<v Speaker 2>with me. Then that day, we had the homecoming dance,

0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:40.879
<v Speaker 2>so I was like, okay, I'm going to do makeup

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 2>on her. I put all this glitter on her. I

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:43.760
<v Speaker 2>brought the glitter with me because I knew he friends

0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:45.760
<v Speaker 2>were gonna want the glitter. I'm like, gonna be fucking

0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.520
<v Speaker 2>cheer mom. Put the glitter on all these little little girls,

0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:55.360
<v Speaker 2>and she does her performance and I'm like, oh my god,

0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.960
<v Speaker 2>it's so great. Wow, so amazing. I go find her

0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:01.040
<v Speaker 2>and I can't find her. Finally I find and I'm like, hey, babe,

0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:03.119
<v Speaker 2>like that was so great, and like try to give

0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:05.879
<v Speaker 2>her a high five, and she's like she curved. She

0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:08.720
<v Speaker 2>can curve the fuck out of me. And I was like, hey,

0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:13.480
<v Speaker 2>good job, and she's like anyways, I'm just like what

0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:16.520
<v Speaker 2>the fuck? I cursed her out, I know, like an

0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.000
<v Speaker 2>adult from gront of her friends, and I was like,

0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:21.520
<v Speaker 2>you think I am embarrassing, Now I will embarrass the

0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:23.600
<v Speaker 2>fuck out of you. And then I felt bad because

0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.359
<v Speaker 2>I did curse at her in fron of her white friends,

0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 2>in front of her white friends. I also kind of

0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:30.040
<v Speaker 2>cursed at her little friend too, because her little friend

0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.240
<v Speaker 2>is being a brat too, and so Bash'm was about

0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:33.679
<v Speaker 2>to curse her out and I was like, no, you

0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:36.159
<v Speaker 2>are stranger danger. I know this little girl. You need

0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:38.600
<v Speaker 2>to both need to relax. And then I had to

0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.720
<v Speaker 2>take Iri to her friend's house because I was leaving

0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.120
<v Speaker 2>on the Red Eye that night, and I was like,

0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.920
<v Speaker 2>if I wasn't leaving right now, there'd be no fucking

0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:48.040
<v Speaker 2>way you'd be going over to this little girl's house

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.000
<v Speaker 2>right now. I hope you fucking know that, and she's

0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:53.520
<v Speaker 2>like okay, Mommy, okay. And then we get to the

0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:55.440
<v Speaker 2>house and I'm like almost about to cry. My seven

0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:58.159
<v Speaker 2>year old was gonna make me fucking cry. And the

0:19:58.240 --> 0:19:59.880
<v Speaker 2>mom is like, are you okay? I'm like no. She's

0:19:59.880 --> 0:20:01.399
<v Speaker 2>like do you want to drink? I'm like no. She's like,

0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:03.600
<v Speaker 2>do you want to talk to my friends? I'm like no, no,

0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:06.000
<v Speaker 2>take my child, bye, take her? And then I said

0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:08.600
<v Speaker 2>bye to Iri. She again played me, and then I

0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:10.200
<v Speaker 2>went in the car and cried on the way to

0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:12.600
<v Speaker 2>the airport. Poor thing. When she got to d C,

0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:15.639
<v Speaker 2>I was like, are you okay? She's like no.

0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:20.199
<v Speaker 1>Like what She's like, she speak to me, I'm not

0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:23.199
<v Speaker 1>having any more kids. I'm just decided today. She was like,

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:24.800
<v Speaker 1>I just decided this weekend. I don't want to do

0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:26.760
<v Speaker 1>this shit again. Use there's no telling they might be

0:20:26.760 --> 0:20:29.359
<v Speaker 1>mean to you, and they're true. Parentod do is a

0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:30.240
<v Speaker 1>thankless job.

0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:31.880
<v Speaker 2>It is. I was like, it is. They don't give

0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:34.520
<v Speaker 2>a fuck, there's no It's so true. I was like, really,

0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:39.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm still hurt by it. Oh I'm paid. I literally

0:20:39.280 --> 0:20:40.719
<v Speaker 2>brought it up like four times to her. I'm never

0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:41.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna let her live it down. I know.

0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:43.679
<v Speaker 1>And then thing I said something to her like are

0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.840
<v Speaker 1>you waiting mean to my friend at your cheer performances,

0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:48.520
<v Speaker 1>these bitches are nuts.

0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, especially after our time in Atlanta. We

0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:54.199
<v Speaker 2>had quite a wild time there. So I was like

0:20:54.280 --> 0:20:54.880
<v Speaker 2>coming down.

0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:58.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh that was after Atlanta. I after Atlanta, I came down.

0:20:58.400 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 1>I was, you know what, like.

0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:02.760
<v Speaker 2>I was coming down from my fucking show highs of

0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:04.400
<v Speaker 2>all the highs of highs.

0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:06.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, I didn't think about it, but I think having

0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:09.520
<v Speaker 1>a lot of shows like that, there's so much there's

0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:12.360
<v Speaker 1>so much of your serotonin and you're endorphins are running high,

0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:15.080
<v Speaker 1>so much adrenaline is up down, up down. But when

0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.600
<v Speaker 1>it's over and it's just so much like exchange, you're

0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:19.720
<v Speaker 1>meeting so many people and you're getting like we're getting

0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:22.800
<v Speaker 1>so many kind words, I was like, whoa, Like it's

0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:25.679
<v Speaker 1>just like you see everything in real time. It is

0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:28.360
<v Speaker 1>a lot a lot. It's like doing a lot of drugs.

0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:30.440
<v Speaker 1>It's like having a drug binge without the drugs.

0:21:30.520 --> 0:21:32.719
<v Speaker 2>That's what I mean. Like I'm coming down, like it

0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:36.000
<v Speaker 2>was so much and then to be like, basically, you're

0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:38.240
<v Speaker 2>so amazing, it's so great. And my daughter to play

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:41.800
<v Speaker 2>the fuck out of me. I was like, whoa crashings

0:21:41.800 --> 0:21:44.359
<v Speaker 2>like the worst come down coke come down of all time,

0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:49.080
<v Speaker 2>Like by your child Jesus, to come down has nothing

0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:53.040
<v Speaker 2>on cocaine. Come down, It's true.

0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:56.040
<v Speaker 1>And then we got super crazy in Atlanta, mostly because

0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:58.560
<v Speaker 1>it was my fault. And then I was pissed, and

0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:00.399
<v Speaker 1>then I was mad at myself and I had to

0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:01.959
<v Speaker 1>do all his work, Like I had to do all

0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:04.159
<v Speaker 1>this self work, and like, I don't know if it's

0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:07.640
<v Speaker 1>because A we were in retrograde during our tour, which

0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:08.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like, why the fuck do we do this?

0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:12.240
<v Speaker 1>Because we didn't confront the witches first. B it was

0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.920
<v Speaker 1>about to like now, I mean, Monday was a full moon,

0:22:14.920 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Today's a full moon Wednesday. There's still like full moon energy.

0:22:17.760 --> 0:22:21.960
<v Speaker 1>But I have been feeling so many emotions and I

0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:22.800
<v Speaker 1>really like.

0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:25.439
<v Speaker 2>And I'm in fuck and I'm in Tantra school.

0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:28.640
<v Speaker 1>So the day after Atlanta's show, I like was still

0:22:28.720 --> 0:22:30.879
<v Speaker 1>drunk and I was like looking and I realized, I'm like,

0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:33.440
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, it's eight thirty in the morning.

0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Pacific standard time. I have class right now.

0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:38.159
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't get the internet to work. I was like

0:22:38.280 --> 0:22:41.240
<v Speaker 1>in basketball shorts that were not mine and Cowgirl Boots

0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:45.080
<v Speaker 1>in the lobby drunk with my laptop and.

0:22:45.000 --> 0:22:46.480
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I can't get the internet to work.

0:22:46.480 --> 0:22:47.480
<v Speaker 2>I gotta go to class.

0:22:47.720 --> 0:22:49.639
<v Speaker 1>It was almost like, it's okay, baby, you was not

0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:51.600
<v Speaker 1>about to miss your class.

0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:55.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh.

0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:57.320
<v Speaker 1>So then I got on Tanker School and I was

0:22:57.359 --> 0:23:01.119
<v Speaker 1>just like, I think I'm overwhelmed. My teacher is like,

0:23:01.680 --> 0:23:04.200
<v Speaker 1>are you okay? I might be drunk. I might still

0:23:04.240 --> 0:23:04.679
<v Speaker 1>be drunk.

0:23:05.440 --> 0:23:09.119
<v Speaker 2>You told her, yeah, But you know what it's like

0:23:09.560 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 2>being in Okay, having this experience and being in school.

0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Tantra is just teaching me to.

0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:20.160
<v Speaker 1>Pay attention to like the pleasure, what brings me pleasure,

0:23:20.600 --> 0:23:25.200
<v Speaker 1>and like in all the categories, but you don't really

0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:27.119
<v Speaker 1>you have to in order to think about your pleasure,

0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:28.440
<v Speaker 1>you have to think about the things that don't bring

0:23:28.480 --> 0:23:30.760
<v Speaker 1>you pleasure. And I've realized how much I haven't really

0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:33.199
<v Speaker 1>paid that a lot of attention. We rarely really study

0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:37.240
<v Speaker 1>our sources of pleasure physical, spiritual, emotional, and we don't

0:23:37.240 --> 0:23:39.360
<v Speaker 1>really like we don't think about it. So sometimes we're

0:23:39.359 --> 0:23:42.840
<v Speaker 1>doing things that are gratifying and instead of pleasurable, they're

0:23:42.880 --> 0:23:46.040
<v Speaker 1>like they're people pleasing sometimes or they're pleasing like you

0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.560
<v Speaker 1>think it's gonna So I was just like having all

0:23:48.600 --> 0:23:52.040
<v Speaker 1>these internal I was coming down. I was having all

0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 1>these internal thoughts. I was drunk, I was in school,

0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:56.680
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, I'm not happy.

0:23:57.000 --> 0:23:58.600
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was gonna make me happy. It made

0:23:58.640 --> 0:24:02.240
<v Speaker 2>me pissed. I was just like all over the place.

0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:03.280
<v Speaker 2>I was crying and shit.

0:24:03.640 --> 0:24:06.879
<v Speaker 1>I had to literally sleep for a full day. And

0:24:07.040 --> 0:24:10.360
<v Speaker 1>I just feel like with Retrograde, with five.

0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Cities, with the full moon that was coming and I

0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.320
<v Speaker 2>was on my period, there was a lot. It was

0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:16.000
<v Speaker 2>a lot, girl, there's a lot of energy. I think

0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:18.159
<v Speaker 2>I just thought about me and my man having a

0:24:18.200 --> 0:24:20.080
<v Speaker 2>fight at the sex club we also went. We also

0:24:20.119 --> 0:24:22.440
<v Speaker 2>made time to go to the sex club throughout this

0:24:22.800 --> 0:24:24.960
<v Speaker 2>Throughout this tour, we went to the sex club in

0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:27.159
<v Speaker 2>New York, and me and my man literally had a

0:24:27.160 --> 0:24:29.199
<v Speaker 2>fight in the sex club. Not only wait, now, let

0:24:29.240 --> 0:24:30.240
<v Speaker 2>me go to the sex club.

0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:34.920
<v Speaker 1>It maybe clear we had a show, did all these

0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:37.520
<v Speaker 1>things so that we stayed up all night to go

0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:40.720
<v Speaker 1>to the sex club and then went to.

0:24:41.080 --> 0:24:43.200
<v Speaker 2>Drove to Philly. Right after the sex club.

0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:44.920
<v Speaker 1>We got from the sex club, packed up the car,

0:24:45.160 --> 0:24:48.080
<v Speaker 1>took a car to Philly. Me and Erica had to

0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:53.200
<v Speaker 1>immediately go to a speaking engagement with children. We did

0:24:53.240 --> 0:24:56.800
<v Speaker 1>a speaking engagement directly after leaving a sex party with

0:24:56.840 --> 0:24:59.840
<v Speaker 1>the Sun. Came out driving to Philadelphia going to a

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:03.040
<v Speaker 1>speaking engagement, and then we had a show two hours

0:25:03.040 --> 0:25:06.440
<v Speaker 1>after that. It was the dumbest I'm like, we're not adults.

0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:08.520
<v Speaker 1>There's no reason we should have money.

0:25:08.520 --> 0:25:10.479
<v Speaker 2>And I tried to be an adult, and then like

0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:12.359
<v Speaker 2>last minute, I was like, fuck it, let's us go.

0:25:13.359 --> 0:25:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I booked us a car. I was like, I found

0:25:14.960 --> 0:25:15.239
<v Speaker 2>us a car.

0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:17.160
<v Speaker 1>They'll take us to Philly and there Lando got mad

0:25:17.160 --> 0:25:18.159
<v Speaker 1>at me at the sex party. I was like, we

0:25:18.160 --> 0:25:19.440
<v Speaker 1>did all this to go to the sex party, only

0:25:19.440 --> 0:25:20.560
<v Speaker 1>for a niggas to curse us.

0:25:20.440 --> 0:25:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Out, like all stupid. I was like, they're ungrateful, I

0:25:25.520 --> 0:25:27.359
<v Speaker 2>tell her. I'm like, they're fucking ungrateful.

0:25:28.359 --> 0:25:32.760
<v Speaker 1>We took them, we made this happen, and then we're

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:35.040
<v Speaker 1>the only ones that paid and suffered because we're dumb,

0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:40.680
<v Speaker 1>fucking on fumes and Philly was a great show anyway, Yeah,

0:25:40.680 --> 0:25:45.280
<v Speaker 1>it was, well, no one's gonna hire us anymore if

0:25:45.280 --> 0:25:46.680
<v Speaker 1>they keep thinking we're gonna come.

0:25:47.320 --> 0:25:50.359
<v Speaker 2>Hey, it was great. You had a lot of great

0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:52.320
<v Speaker 2>things to say, I don't know what I said at

0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:54.560
<v Speaker 2>that speaking engagement. I literally told you me and I

0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:57.719
<v Speaker 2>was like, bitch, I'm leaning on you because I have

0:25:57.840 --> 0:26:00.159
<v Speaker 2>nothing left. I think you know what.

0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:03.400
<v Speaker 1>We wore the same outfits from the sex party to

0:26:03.440 --> 0:26:04.400
<v Speaker 1>the speaking engagement.

0:26:08.240 --> 0:26:09.919
<v Speaker 2>We didn't even change our outfits. We were just like,

0:26:09.960 --> 0:26:12.400
<v Speaker 2>this is it. Once she came downstairs and the same shit.

0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:14.280
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm glad you're wearing the same shit,

0:26:14.320 --> 0:26:16.400
<v Speaker 1>because so am I.

0:26:16.400 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't. I had no capacity to figure out an outfit. Bitch.

0:26:21.960 --> 0:26:24.960
<v Speaker 1>You know what, No matter how much talking we do,

0:26:25.119 --> 0:26:27.760
<v Speaker 1>like we still have to grow up and do some

0:26:27.840 --> 0:26:28.560
<v Speaker 1>self reflection.

0:26:29.400 --> 0:26:30.919
<v Speaker 2>I feel like we've grown up a lot over the

0:26:30.960 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 2>last four and a half years, almost five years.

0:26:33.119 --> 0:26:36.080
<v Speaker 1>We have grown up a lot, But there's always space

0:26:36.119 --> 0:26:41.160
<v Speaker 1>for more growth. Yeah, and I'm always perplexed that there's

0:26:41.280 --> 0:26:42.280
<v Speaker 1>more to do.

0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:48.440
<v Speaker 2>Because I'm not Buddha yet. Maybe if I keep starving myself,

0:26:48.840 --> 0:26:50.880
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm gonna start starving myself too. I don't

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:54.000
<v Speaker 2>think you can afford to starve yourself, I know, but

0:26:54.040 --> 0:26:54.800
<v Speaker 2>I need to be Buddha.

0:26:56.080 --> 0:26:58.200
<v Speaker 1>What the fuck I am. I'm gonna be the size

0:26:58.240 --> 0:26:59.800
<v Speaker 1>no matter what. If I starve myself if I eat

0:26:59.800 --> 0:27:04.280
<v Speaker 1>every thing I am yesterday, and also like I haven't

0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:07.160
<v Speaker 1>been like alone a lot, so like I had a break.

0:27:08.000 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Luna went to her the other side of this family

0:27:11.200 --> 0:27:13.560
<v Speaker 1>and like, Orlando want to play basketball, and I was

0:27:13.640 --> 0:27:16.320
<v Speaker 1>just like in my room, I started feeling high a

0:27:16.359 --> 0:27:19.080
<v Speaker 1>little bit and I just cried. I just needed to

0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:22.920
<v Speaker 1>cry really badly and just like let it out, you know,

0:27:23.040 --> 0:27:25.920
<v Speaker 1>like I felt. I don't know, I feel like when

0:27:25.920 --> 0:27:29.720
<v Speaker 1>we came back, I've been feeling like overwhelmed with gratitude

0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:33.280
<v Speaker 1>but having a hard time not feeling grateful. But I

0:27:33.320 --> 0:27:36.320
<v Speaker 1>don't know, like me and Orlando went for a hike

0:27:36.480 --> 0:27:39.320
<v Speaker 1>and he was like saying, like, oh my god, something

0:27:39.320 --> 0:27:41.639
<v Speaker 1>about like our love has moved so quickly, and I

0:27:41.680 --> 0:27:44.720
<v Speaker 1>was like mm hmm, it's like I know, it's so beautiful.

0:27:44.760 --> 0:27:47.199
<v Speaker 1>And he's like it's like you're saying it, but it

0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:48.640
<v Speaker 1>looks like it hurts you to say.

0:27:50.040 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, oh my god.

0:27:52.280 --> 0:27:55.440
<v Speaker 1>I was like what I've never had anyone like pinpoint

0:27:55.720 --> 0:27:58.320
<v Speaker 1>how I was feeling so with words so easily, and

0:27:58.359 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 1>it was like I am happy, but it was hard,

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:01.760
<v Speaker 1>like my face and.

0:28:01.720 --> 0:28:06.359
<v Speaker 2>My feeling was like why I'm like, am I an

0:28:06.400 --> 0:28:07.200
<v Speaker 2>evil bitch?

0:28:07.640 --> 0:28:12.600
<v Speaker 1>But I realized that I'm not used to things going

0:28:12.640 --> 0:28:15.600
<v Speaker 1>as well. I'm not used to like feeling this good.

0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:18.680
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm like in love. I'm going on tour. People

0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:20.520
<v Speaker 1>are telling me that love me. They're giving me waste

0:28:20.600 --> 0:28:23.399
<v Speaker 1>beads and shit. People are just giving this stuff. I'm like,

0:28:23.520 --> 0:28:26.199
<v Speaker 1>this is too much, it's too good. I'm too happy.

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:29.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm like literally sometimes bracing myself for something to go

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:32.840
<v Speaker 1>wrong and looking for things to be wrong, and I'm like,

0:28:32.920 --> 0:28:36.600
<v Speaker 1>nothing's wrong. And I realized that in that moment, He's like,

0:28:37.000 --> 0:28:39.960
<v Speaker 1>I know you're saying that you're happy, but your face

0:28:40.000 --> 0:28:41.200
<v Speaker 1>looks like you're mad about it.

0:28:41.960 --> 0:28:42.840
<v Speaker 2>I was like, WHOA.

0:28:43.760 --> 0:28:45.680
<v Speaker 1>And I didn't even say anything because I was like, damn,

0:28:45.720 --> 0:28:49.600
<v Speaker 1>I never I've never had anyone pinpoint the way I

0:28:49.640 --> 0:28:51.400
<v Speaker 1>was feeling. I'm like, why am I feeling like it

0:28:51.480 --> 0:28:54.080
<v Speaker 1>hurts to say I'm happy? And I was like, probably,

0:28:54.240 --> 0:28:56.880
<v Speaker 1>I've never seen it. I've never seen that. I've never

0:28:57.120 --> 0:28:59.959
<v Speaker 1>existed in this space before, like where I'm not like,

0:29:00.240 --> 0:29:02.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, like I find things to worry about. I

0:29:02.200 --> 0:29:04.640
<v Speaker 1>find fear. I'm fearing the future, I'm fearing the past.

0:29:04.680 --> 0:29:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like whyen I do this like obsessing over shit,

0:29:07.840 --> 0:29:09.720
<v Speaker 1>even like all the shit that we did, I was

0:29:09.760 --> 0:29:11.840
<v Speaker 1>just like obsessing over it and it's like, bitch, it's over.

0:29:12.520 --> 0:29:17.120
<v Speaker 1>But it was just like I'm having to I realized

0:29:17.200 --> 0:29:19.480
<v Speaker 1>yesterday and my ie was high, but I wasn't high

0:29:19.560 --> 0:29:25.200
<v Speaker 1>cry session that I have to believe that I deserve

0:29:25.240 --> 0:29:28.000
<v Speaker 1>it and believe that I'm worthy of it to actually

0:29:28.400 --> 0:29:30.440
<v Speaker 1>be present in it. And if I don't believe it,

0:29:30.520 --> 0:29:32.680
<v Speaker 1>then it's like I'm happy, but I'm fighting it because

0:29:32.680 --> 0:29:35.680
<v Speaker 1>it feels foreign. I'm like, am I just an angry

0:29:35.720 --> 0:29:39.040
<v Speaker 1>black woman? And I'm like, no, you just haven't. You

0:29:39.120 --> 0:29:41.840
<v Speaker 1>haven't been in this place like im. I'll never forget

0:29:41.920 --> 0:29:44.600
<v Speaker 1>Zosha telling us on her episode during Trigger, We're like

0:29:44.880 --> 0:29:47.560
<v Speaker 1>Happily ever After and she was like white women and

0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 1>I like chuckled and laughter. But it's true, like if

0:29:50.920 --> 0:29:53.200
<v Speaker 1>you only see people that don't like, if you've never

0:29:53.200 --> 0:29:56.960
<v Speaker 1>seen it on yourself, it's hard to feel.

0:29:56.760 --> 0:29:58.160
<v Speaker 2>Worthy of it when you're in it.

0:29:58.520 --> 0:30:00.400
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, I have the best friend the world,

0:30:00.440 --> 0:30:02.440
<v Speaker 1>I have the best boyfriend in the wild, the best child,

0:30:02.840 --> 0:30:06.480
<v Speaker 1>the best business. But I'm still like, like, is it

0:30:06.520 --> 0:30:08.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna like something gonna happen. So I just had to

0:30:08.880 --> 0:30:11.200
<v Speaker 1>like take a moment to like cry that out and

0:30:11.240 --> 0:30:16.880
<v Speaker 1>like shed that those feelings of like.

0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:15.959
<v Speaker 2>Like you're safe.

0:30:16.400 --> 0:30:19.920
<v Speaker 1>You like when you have only existed in a place

0:30:19.960 --> 0:30:23.240
<v Speaker 1>of survival, it's you do not know how to exist

0:30:23.320 --> 0:30:25.360
<v Speaker 1>in a place of being present and just being happy

0:30:25.400 --> 0:30:28.640
<v Speaker 1>and being not afraid of things didn't go wrong. So

0:30:28.720 --> 0:30:31.120
<v Speaker 1>I just had to take a moment and tell myself,

0:30:31.160 --> 0:30:34.520
<v Speaker 1>like you're worthy, you're deserving. You worked hard for this shit,

0:30:34.800 --> 0:30:37.440
<v Speaker 1>and like you did the work and that's why you

0:30:37.480 --> 0:30:39.840
<v Speaker 1>have a relationship that's like damn, they're perfect, and a

0:30:40.080 --> 0:30:42.320
<v Speaker 1>friendship that stam, they're perfect, and all these things that

0:30:42.680 --> 0:30:44.920
<v Speaker 1>you deserve because you've done the work to get here.

0:30:45.520 --> 0:30:48.320
<v Speaker 1>But like I had to cry it out by myself.

0:30:48.360 --> 0:30:50.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, am I did I do mushrooms? I

0:30:50.320 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I feel like I for me, I have

0:30:57.720 --> 0:31:03.680
<v Speaker 2>felt like not that I don't not that I'm not worthy,

0:31:04.400 --> 0:31:08.280
<v Speaker 2>it's more so like I'm always like I'm such a

0:31:08.320 --> 0:31:12.000
<v Speaker 2>futurist and thinking of like what's next, what's next, What's next,

0:31:12.000 --> 0:31:13.280
<v Speaker 2>that it's really hard for me to be present.

0:31:13.320 --> 0:31:15.800
<v Speaker 1>The futurists just make it up. I don't think, so

0:31:15.960 --> 0:31:17.160
<v Speaker 1>oh I never heard that word.

0:31:17.520 --> 0:31:21.680
<v Speaker 2>But like just like always thinking about what's next, what's next,

0:31:21.680 --> 0:31:24.720
<v Speaker 2>because like I don't like things are shifting in my

0:31:24.800 --> 0:31:29.120
<v Speaker 2>life but not I guess, like financially, like they haven't

0:31:29.120 --> 0:31:32.600
<v Speaker 2>shifted in the way yet that I want. So therefore

0:31:32.720 --> 0:31:36.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not totally satisfied. And then I'm like, Okay, well,

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:38.640
<v Speaker 2>when you get that financial shift, will you then be

0:31:38.720 --> 0:31:42.400
<v Speaker 2>satisfied Erica yea. And that's like my biggest and that's

0:31:42.400 --> 0:31:44.400
<v Speaker 2>like one of my biggest fears is like not being

0:31:44.440 --> 0:31:50.120
<v Speaker 2>satisfied there. And then also I'm still I'm still working

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 2>through totally walking in my choices and like saying to

0:31:56.200 --> 0:31:59.840
<v Speaker 2>myself like this is whether or not this is who

0:31:59.840 --> 0:32:02.160
<v Speaker 2>you are, This is what you're exploring right now and

0:32:02.200 --> 0:32:05.160
<v Speaker 2>who you are and that's okay. Like thinking about some

0:32:05.240 --> 0:32:06.840
<v Speaker 2>of the stuff we did, like even our show, like

0:32:06.960 --> 0:32:08.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my god, was it too much?

0:32:08.360 --> 0:32:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Did I do too much? Like how is this gonna

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:12.840
<v Speaker 2>reflect on me? Like is this too much for our brand?

0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:15.200
<v Speaker 2>Our brands? Like literally I was having after the show

0:32:15.400 --> 0:32:18.720
<v Speaker 2>like thoughts like thinking about like is it like are

0:32:18.720 --> 0:32:21.320
<v Speaker 2>wetting the line of sex and like too much? Like

0:32:22.320 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 2>is target going to pass on me, Is this brand

0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:27.760
<v Speaker 2>going to pass on me? Is like is my is

0:32:27.800 --> 0:32:30.400
<v Speaker 2>beauty blender? Is my mom gonna see this and be disappointed?

0:32:30.400 --> 0:32:34.920
<v Speaker 2>Am I disappointment? Like? Am I doing too much? Is

0:32:34.960 --> 0:32:37.120
<v Speaker 2>this me? Am I being Jamila? Or am I being me?

0:32:37.680 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Like oh no, not it's me, no, not you. But

0:32:40.680 --> 0:32:42.880
<v Speaker 2>like these are all thoughts I'm having, Like am I

0:32:43.240 --> 0:32:46.320
<v Speaker 2>walking authentically as myself? Or am I being influenced by

0:32:46.440 --> 0:32:49.320
<v Speaker 2>like other people or other things? Or like is this me?

0:32:49.840 --> 0:32:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Like like these are all things that like are like

0:32:52.440 --> 0:32:56.240
<v Speaker 2>the sources of my anxiety of like really really being grounded,

0:32:56.280 --> 0:32:58.400
<v Speaker 2>and like this is my these are my choices, this

0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:00.320
<v Speaker 2>is what I'm doing, and like this is who I

0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:02.600
<v Speaker 2>am right now. I might not be this person in

0:33:02.640 --> 0:33:04.160
<v Speaker 2>six months. I might say you know what, hey, I

0:33:04.160 --> 0:33:05.560
<v Speaker 2>don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to

0:33:05.600 --> 0:33:09.960
<v Speaker 2>do this anymore, and like feeling essentially insecure about it.

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:14.080
<v Speaker 1>It is, but I totally get that, Like it's we're

0:33:14.080 --> 0:33:17.120
<v Speaker 1>doing a lot, we're doing a lot on camera, and we're.

0:33:16.960 --> 0:33:21.600
<v Speaker 2>Doing it to ourselves. But I do because same, I

0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:22.200
<v Speaker 2>did a lot.

0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:25.480
<v Speaker 1>I did a lot, and I like I said, like me,

0:33:26.120 --> 0:33:28.680
<v Speaker 1>and then I was like mad at myself and it

0:33:28.720 --> 0:33:31.040
<v Speaker 1>made me realize not like am I you or am

0:33:31.080 --> 0:33:31.880
<v Speaker 1>I being myself?

0:33:31.960 --> 0:33:33.560
<v Speaker 2>But like what choices have been my own?

0:33:34.040 --> 0:33:36.520
<v Speaker 1>And what choices have been because I thought, like I

0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:38.640
<v Speaker 1>thought it would be fun, and how many choices have

0:33:38.680 --> 0:33:41.400
<v Speaker 1>I made that I thought would be fun? And then

0:33:41.440 --> 0:33:43.479
<v Speaker 1>in it I didn't want to do anymore and then

0:33:43.520 --> 0:33:47.480
<v Speaker 1>didn't stop myself and then really was upset with myself

0:33:47.520 --> 0:33:50.200
<v Speaker 1>for days or months and for me like maybe like

0:33:50.360 --> 0:33:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Harbord in my body forever or not ever because I'm

0:33:54.000 --> 0:33:58.840
<v Speaker 1>making the choice to release it. But I understand like

0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:00.680
<v Speaker 1>the exploration of is this me?

0:34:01.000 --> 0:34:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Is this what I want to do?

0:34:02.240 --> 0:34:05.040
<v Speaker 1>Is this bringing me joy and pleasure and fulfillment or

0:34:05.240 --> 0:34:07.320
<v Speaker 1>did it seem fun at the time? I think, like

0:34:07.360 --> 0:34:09.200
<v Speaker 1>we're in this like you know, you'll be, you'll be.

0:34:09.239 --> 0:34:12.480
<v Speaker 1>We're in our mid thirties, and I think when you

0:34:12.560 --> 0:34:16.719
<v Speaker 1>function as a woman, especially in your twenties and your teens,

0:34:18.840 --> 0:34:23.680
<v Speaker 1>it's heavily influenced by other people and by being liked

0:34:24.160 --> 0:34:27.080
<v Speaker 1>women women. A lot of times in our society, women's

0:34:27.200 --> 0:34:30.600
<v Speaker 1>value is about them being liked, and us being liked

0:34:30.680 --> 0:34:33.320
<v Speaker 1>is about playing by certain rules or being wifed or

0:34:33.320 --> 0:34:39.160
<v Speaker 1>our relationship status and it's it's rarely because it's like

0:34:39.160 --> 0:34:40.920
<v Speaker 1>this is what I fucking wanted to do, fuck you,

0:34:41.480 --> 0:34:45.399
<v Speaker 1>and even us being so deeply in fuck you, it's

0:34:45.440 --> 0:34:46.560
<v Speaker 1>like did I need to do that?

0:34:46.600 --> 0:34:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Do I really want to do that? Am I that person?

0:34:48.440 --> 0:34:51.640
<v Speaker 1>You know? And so it's a constant like figuring it out,

0:34:51.719 --> 0:34:54.600
<v Speaker 1>but like it's even hard to figure out what's my

0:34:54.760 --> 0:34:57.759
<v Speaker 1>voice and what's like things people have told me or

0:34:57.800 --> 0:35:00.839
<v Speaker 1>me acting out and rebellion because I do that too,

0:35:00.880 --> 0:35:03.719
<v Speaker 1>Like sometimes I see myself pushing envelopes even in my

0:35:03.760 --> 0:35:07.120
<v Speaker 1>relationship because I'm like, you can leave me, you know

0:35:07.160 --> 0:35:09.120
<v Speaker 1>what I mean, Like it's just but it's not like,

0:35:09.400 --> 0:35:11.839
<v Speaker 1>but it's not necessary to do that to begin with.

0:35:12.280 --> 0:35:14.600
<v Speaker 1>So I understand, like I kind of feel so much

0:35:14.600 --> 0:35:18.000
<v Speaker 1>insecure about the show is because we've got a lot

0:35:18.040 --> 0:35:18.760
<v Speaker 1>of love and stuff.

0:35:18.800 --> 0:35:21.279
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't want to say I don't feel insecure,

0:35:21.440 --> 0:35:24.960
<v Speaker 2>it's just I think I've not I've had questions about

0:35:25.000 --> 0:35:27.160
<v Speaker 2>some of the things, like would I do that again

0:35:27.400 --> 0:35:29.560
<v Speaker 2>if I did it again, Like if we want tour again,

0:35:29.560 --> 0:35:30.840
<v Speaker 2>am I gonna do some of these other things that

0:35:30.840 --> 0:35:33.960
<v Speaker 2>I did on stage again? Or will I or should

0:35:33.960 --> 0:35:35.480
<v Speaker 2>I stand in that? Is that something that I really

0:35:35.520 --> 0:35:39.800
<v Speaker 2>want to go forth towards even more so, like just

0:35:39.800 --> 0:35:43.080
<v Speaker 2>just questioning all of the things. Essentially, I feel like

0:35:43.239 --> 0:35:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I whenever I've acted out of my own normal character

0:35:46.840 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 2>or like what I've been told to act, like, I

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:53.719
<v Speaker 2>have anxiety because I've been trained, I've trained myself to

0:35:53.760 --> 0:35:56.560
<v Speaker 2>act a certain way for so long. I've trained myself

0:35:56.560 --> 0:36:01.480
<v Speaker 2>to really care deeply about what my mom thinks, what

0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:04.799
<v Speaker 2>you know? And then and also like those people have

0:36:04.880 --> 0:36:07.239
<v Speaker 2>also made me feel like what would your daughter think?

0:36:07.320 --> 0:36:09.440
<v Speaker 2>What would this person think? You know? And it's like

0:36:10.719 --> 0:36:13.359
<v Speaker 2>people are always gonna have thoughts, you know. People are

0:36:13.400 --> 0:36:16.239
<v Speaker 2>always gonna have thoughts, and people are always gonna have opinions,

0:36:16.360 --> 0:36:19.320
<v Speaker 2>But it's really about like, Okay, what do I fucking think?

0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:22.560
<v Speaker 2>What do I think about this choice? Like if I'm

0:36:22.600 --> 0:36:25.720
<v Speaker 2>standing outside of myself looking at myself, am I proud

0:36:25.719 --> 0:36:28.880
<v Speaker 2>of myself? Am I saying go girl, yeah fuck that,

0:36:29.040 --> 0:36:32.160
<v Speaker 2>go do that shit? Or am I saying, m that

0:36:32.280 --> 0:36:33.960
<v Speaker 2>was cool for the time, Like do you really do

0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:35.600
<v Speaker 2>you want to do that again? Maybe not? I don't know,

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:37.839
<v Speaker 2>And like that's what I think It's been has been

0:36:37.880 --> 0:36:40.279
<v Speaker 2>like me stepping outside of myself and really trying to

0:36:40.360 --> 0:36:45.239
<v Speaker 2>like look at myself, look at my my choices, look

0:36:45.280 --> 0:36:47.920
<v Speaker 2>at my even my brand, and like think long term,

0:36:47.960 --> 0:36:50.239
<v Speaker 2>what is it? What is the end goal here? Or

0:36:50.239 --> 0:36:51.719
<v Speaker 2>what is the goal or what is like what am

0:36:51.719 --> 0:36:54.080
<v Speaker 2>I trying to feel? What is what is pleasurable to me?

0:36:54.880 --> 0:37:00.480
<v Speaker 2>And sometimes I can feel overwhelming and confusing. And sometimes

0:37:00.480 --> 0:37:02.800
<v Speaker 2>I have the answers and there's really very very clear,

0:37:03.080 --> 0:37:05.839
<v Speaker 2>and then sometimes they're not very clear. It's not very

0:37:05.880 --> 0:37:08.640
<v Speaker 2>clear for me. We've had we've talked about how like

0:37:11.160 --> 0:37:14.120
<v Speaker 2>finding men that would accept us for who we are,

0:37:15.120 --> 0:37:17.400
<v Speaker 2>and how like we've put because of what we do,

0:37:17.440 --> 0:37:22.200
<v Speaker 2>what we talk about, what we share, we've essentially xed

0:37:22.200 --> 0:37:29.880
<v Speaker 2>out a large population. We've essentially x out, We've eliminated

0:37:30.120 --> 0:37:35.240
<v Speaker 2>we've eliminated a large We've xed out a very large

0:37:35.320 --> 0:37:43.680
<v Speaker 2>population of men that would feel comfortable wifing us. Essentially.

0:37:45.400 --> 0:37:47.319
<v Speaker 2>You know, it sounds horrible, but it's not. It's not

0:37:47.360 --> 0:37:52.600
<v Speaker 2>horrible because I don't want those men and it wasn't

0:37:52.600 --> 0:37:55.719
<v Speaker 2>gonna work out. And but like now that I have

0:37:55.920 --> 0:38:00.880
<v Speaker 2>found a partner that you know accepts me, and you

0:38:00.880 --> 0:38:04.000
<v Speaker 2>know we've had and and because I'm still learning, like

0:38:04.040 --> 0:38:06.959
<v Speaker 2>I've said, like I'm going back and forth about I'm

0:38:07.000 --> 0:38:10.200
<v Speaker 2>still learning exactly what who I am, what my boundaries are,

0:38:10.200 --> 0:38:13.680
<v Speaker 2>and like even that was like that confusion was even

0:38:13.719 --> 0:38:16.440
<v Speaker 2>experienced in Costa Rica, you know, like where it's like, well,

0:38:16.560 --> 0:38:18.239
<v Speaker 2>yesterday you said this was fine, and today it's not.

0:38:18.320 --> 0:38:20.080
<v Speaker 2>It's like, well, because I'm still figuring it out. I'm

0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:22.880
<v Speaker 2>figuring out what this looks like for me as a girlfriend,

0:38:23.160 --> 0:38:25.000
<v Speaker 2>for me as a woman, Like I don't, like I

0:38:25.040 --> 0:38:27.560
<v Speaker 2>don't have all the answers all the time, and so

0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:32.920
<v Speaker 2>sometimes friendships experience the byproduct of.

0:38:32.880 --> 0:38:36.359
<v Speaker 1>That almost our friendship over. But but.

0:38:37.880 --> 0:38:42.239
<v Speaker 2>Like now having someone that you know, you know is

0:38:42.560 --> 0:38:47.000
<v Speaker 2>super proud of me and still feeling like this thing's

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:50.560
<v Speaker 2>weird anxiety about like like okay, I have the safe space,

0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:56.279
<v Speaker 2>but like, no, I do believe him. I think it's

0:38:56.440 --> 0:38:59.399
<v Speaker 2>just it's my own inner work and it's has nothing

0:38:59.400 --> 0:39:02.280
<v Speaker 2>to do with anyone, and like I think I maybe

0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:05.480
<v Speaker 2>put this expectation of like this partner's gonna come in

0:39:05.520 --> 0:39:09.160
<v Speaker 2>and then it's gonna like I'm gonna feel totally safe

0:39:09.160 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 2>in all of my choices, and it's like I don't

0:39:11.040 --> 0:39:12.960
<v Speaker 2>always feel safe in all my choices, and I realize

0:39:13.000 --> 0:39:15.560
<v Speaker 2>it's not because of a person, it's because of the

0:39:15.560 --> 0:39:17.160
<v Speaker 2>work that I have to do to feel safe in

0:39:17.160 --> 0:39:17.800
<v Speaker 2>my choices.

0:39:18.080 --> 0:39:21.799
<v Speaker 1>That that that is what I feel very.

0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:24.680
<v Speaker 2>Like, you know, there's not on anyone else, Like there

0:39:24.719 --> 0:39:27.520
<v Speaker 2>are things that he's healed in me, and like partners

0:39:27.560 --> 0:39:29.479
<v Speaker 2>do that, like people come together and they heal certain

0:39:29.520 --> 0:39:30.280
<v Speaker 2>parts of one another.

0:39:30.400 --> 0:39:33.399
<v Speaker 1>Well, also then it's also you have to you've never

0:39:33.520 --> 0:39:36.400
<v Speaker 1>experienced the safety of being able to be in a

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:39.600
<v Speaker 1>relationship and address those parts of you. I think for women,

0:39:39.640 --> 0:39:42.719
<v Speaker 1>we're so like, yeah, we're so busy pleasing our partners

0:39:42.800 --> 0:39:45.120
<v Speaker 1>or performing in a way that's acceptable so we can

0:39:45.160 --> 0:39:48.520
<v Speaker 1>be liked by ninety five percent and not not that

0:39:48.800 --> 0:39:53.280
<v Speaker 1>it's we we forget that it's only here, it doesn't matter.

0:39:53.360 --> 0:39:55.600
<v Speaker 1>But when we're not feeling safe enough to do that

0:39:55.920 --> 0:39:58.920
<v Speaker 1>self work, it's difficult to do that. And now that

0:39:58.960 --> 0:40:02.759
<v Speaker 1>we're in places that we feel safe enough to do that, now.

0:40:03.160 --> 0:40:05.279
<v Speaker 2>That's almost like where the real work begins.

0:40:05.400 --> 0:40:08.160
<v Speaker 1>And it's daunting and it's really about like it's not

0:40:08.200 --> 0:40:10.960
<v Speaker 1>even just like what brings me pleasure, but like even

0:40:11.080 --> 0:40:14.719
<v Speaker 1>me feeling like happy but sad and like kind of

0:40:14.719 --> 0:40:18.480
<v Speaker 1>like an attitude in ways, but having to question that,

0:40:18.640 --> 0:40:22.239
<v Speaker 1>like where is that spirit coming from? And like in

0:40:22.360 --> 0:40:25.680
<v Speaker 1>every every part of my life where that feeling comes up,

0:40:25.760 --> 0:40:29.360
<v Speaker 1>that's not like super likable because I've thrived feeling like

0:40:29.360 --> 0:40:32.319
<v Speaker 1>I am a pretty bubbly, like friendly, loving person. But

0:40:32.400 --> 0:40:35.000
<v Speaker 1>if I can't even address like the underlying darkness and

0:40:35.040 --> 0:40:38.080
<v Speaker 1>not even darkness, it's just like are you really are

0:40:38.120 --> 0:40:40.760
<v Speaker 1>you really moving out of love right now? For yourself

0:40:40.880 --> 0:40:43.359
<v Speaker 1>for others, like even with my child. I read something

0:40:43.440 --> 0:40:46.440
<v Speaker 1>recently about like you can't possibly know how to parent

0:40:47.000 --> 0:40:48.520
<v Speaker 1>or what's going to come up, and I think it

0:40:48.560 --> 0:40:51.160
<v Speaker 1>was DJ Smiles. She had a post And you can't

0:40:51.200 --> 0:40:53.800
<v Speaker 1>possibly know what's going to come up, you know, because

0:40:53.800 --> 0:40:56.600
<v Speaker 1>you haven't parented before and you and you only are

0:40:56.640 --> 0:41:00.000
<v Speaker 1>really parenting the way you've you've had it done to you.

0:41:00.280 --> 0:41:01.680
<v Speaker 1>So there are times where I'm like, like I said,

0:41:01.680 --> 0:41:04.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not being like a gentle parent. I'm like girl,

0:41:04.480 --> 0:41:07.680
<v Speaker 1>like I'm not, and I'm having to check myself. But

0:41:08.440 --> 0:41:11.400
<v Speaker 1>it's in those moments that I have to go within

0:41:11.960 --> 0:41:14.240
<v Speaker 1>even and like look at my mom, look at my grandmother,

0:41:14.320 --> 0:41:17.040
<v Speaker 1>and look at parts of them that I'm reflecting in myself,

0:41:17.080 --> 0:41:18.520
<v Speaker 1>and like I've been like my mom just had a

0:41:18.520 --> 0:41:20.279
<v Speaker 1>fucking attitude for no reason, and I'm like, what the

0:41:20.280 --> 0:41:23.000
<v Speaker 1>fuck is wrong with you? My grandmother like sweet woman,

0:41:23.040 --> 0:41:26.920
<v Speaker 1>but sometimes like that mouth, but then seeing glimpses of

0:41:26.960 --> 0:41:31.600
<v Speaker 1>that in myself and having to a be like I

0:41:31.640 --> 0:41:33.959
<v Speaker 1>think we have to recognize like we do inherit certain

0:41:34.040 --> 0:41:38.239
<v Speaker 1>things from our parents, absolutely cellular cellular and just be

0:41:38.239 --> 0:41:41.080
<v Speaker 1>like that's not mine, like literally saying that to yourself,

0:41:41.200 --> 0:41:44.440
<v Speaker 1>releasing that's not mine, like any insecurities all like the

0:41:44.520 --> 0:41:48.360
<v Speaker 1>root of everything is weirdly where the work, the shadow

0:41:48.360 --> 0:41:52.960
<v Speaker 1>work begins, and it's it's not like necessarily beautiful, you

0:41:53.040 --> 0:41:55.200
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean. Like I realized too, like how

0:41:55.280 --> 0:41:57.799
<v Speaker 1>I can have an attitude with people close to me

0:41:58.080 --> 0:42:01.200
<v Speaker 1>like or just like get it. I'll never do that

0:42:01.200 --> 0:42:02.960
<v Speaker 1>with the stranger most of the time, you know what

0:42:03.040 --> 0:42:05.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean. And it's like what is that? How is

0:42:05.360 --> 0:42:07.320
<v Speaker 1>it that we forget to like operate in that place

0:42:07.400 --> 0:42:09.680
<v Speaker 1>with you know, I always want to make strangers feel good.

0:42:09.719 --> 0:42:11.480
<v Speaker 1>I always want to make people feel good because like

0:42:11.520 --> 0:42:12.240
<v Speaker 1>that's my gift.

0:42:12.640 --> 0:42:14.799
<v Speaker 2>Well, you give strangers the benefit of the doubt more

0:42:14.840 --> 0:42:17.040
<v Speaker 2>than you give the people that you love closest to you,

0:42:17.120 --> 0:42:22.040
<v Speaker 2>because you've you've experienced them strangers you haven't really experienced.

0:42:22.040 --> 0:42:25.480
<v Speaker 2>It's easy to love them, true, you know, but no,

0:42:25.600 --> 0:42:27.680
<v Speaker 2>I feel you. I feel that. I feel that a lot.

0:42:27.719 --> 0:42:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I feel like even just trying to like not like

0:42:32.800 --> 0:42:34.680
<v Speaker 2>with that quote that she said or that whatever you

0:42:34.719 --> 0:42:37.919
<v Speaker 2>saw on her Instagram, like me not have. I don't

0:42:37.960 --> 0:42:40.879
<v Speaker 2>have certain tools. I have to build them. I have

0:42:40.960 --> 0:42:44.640
<v Speaker 2>to start from scratch because I don't possess certain tools

0:42:45.200 --> 0:42:48.440
<v Speaker 2>that I need to as a woman, as a as

0:42:48.480 --> 0:42:51.239
<v Speaker 2>a mother. And that's been one too, like because I

0:42:51.280 --> 0:42:53.520
<v Speaker 2>did receive something as a child, I saw no example

0:42:53.560 --> 0:42:57.880
<v Speaker 2>of it me having to now almost like face I

0:42:57.880 --> 0:43:00.279
<v Speaker 2>have to face it because I don't have to have

0:43:00.320 --> 0:43:03.080
<v Speaker 2>these tools for her. So it's like you have to

0:43:03.120 --> 0:43:06.440
<v Speaker 2>remind yourself to constantly talking to her as like as

0:43:06.480 --> 0:43:09.680
<v Speaker 2>a single mother to her whose father is not around. Really,

0:43:10.160 --> 0:43:12.759
<v Speaker 2>like how do we have these conversations because I never

0:43:13.400 --> 0:43:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I've never had this conversation with anyone ever, Like even

0:43:17.120 --> 0:43:19.080
<v Speaker 2>like that wasn't given to me either, because like that

0:43:19.280 --> 0:43:21.680
<v Speaker 2>just I mean not that it wasn't given to me,

0:43:21.760 --> 0:43:24.400
<v Speaker 2>but it was just like I don't know, like my

0:43:24.480 --> 0:43:27.040
<v Speaker 2>mom did try, but it wasn't in the way that

0:43:27.080 --> 0:43:30.080
<v Speaker 2>I think I needed and that's not her fault, you know.

0:43:30.280 --> 0:43:33.080
<v Speaker 2>And like same with Iri. It's like I'm trying to

0:43:33.160 --> 0:43:35.720
<v Speaker 2>learn what she needs, but like I might, i might fail,

0:43:36.080 --> 0:43:39.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, like because I'm literally building these tools in

0:43:39.840 --> 0:43:42.080
<v Speaker 2>It's like I'm walking and like building something at the

0:43:42.080 --> 0:43:44.480
<v Speaker 2>same time. Like I'm just like grabbing things like Okay,

0:43:44.520 --> 0:43:46.080
<v Speaker 2>well this may be okay, let me try that. Okay,

0:43:46.120 --> 0:43:47.360
<v Speaker 2>that didn't work. Let me ask this person.

0:43:47.440 --> 0:43:49.960
<v Speaker 1>And I've never seen it, how do you do it?

0:43:50.960 --> 0:43:53.600
<v Speaker 1>And it's like big and it seemed but it's like it's.

0:43:53.400 --> 0:43:54.879
<v Speaker 2>But you do it. You just do it. And that's

0:43:54.920 --> 0:43:57.560
<v Speaker 2>what I realized too. It's like okay, and sometimes you're

0:43:57.560 --> 0:43:59.759
<v Speaker 2>gonna do it wrong. I like was really sad about

0:43:59.760 --> 0:44:01.799
<v Speaker 2>this fee because I've been feeling it for like a

0:44:01.840 --> 0:44:04.319
<v Speaker 2>while now. And then I was like, literally the other day,

0:44:04.360 --> 0:44:07.479
<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, so you're work. Like I really

0:44:07.480 --> 0:44:10.680
<v Speaker 2>feel like I've a I'm finally figuring something out. Something

0:44:10.760 --> 0:44:13.200
<v Speaker 2>is happening like where I'm like I feel like there's

0:44:13.560 --> 0:44:15.760
<v Speaker 2>more space in my life lately, or I'm really allowing

0:44:15.800 --> 0:44:19.040
<v Speaker 2>it to be and I'm being able to understand and

0:44:19.080 --> 0:44:24.040
<v Speaker 2>be more intuitive to what she's needing. But I just

0:44:24.040 --> 0:44:29.799
<v Speaker 2>feel like also like you you don't know what you

0:44:29.840 --> 0:44:32.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know, like you said, like and I might not

0:44:33.080 --> 0:44:36.560
<v Speaker 2>get it right. And that's okay too, because that's part

0:44:36.600 --> 0:44:39.080
<v Speaker 2>of the whole the whole journey of figuring it out.

0:44:39.200 --> 0:44:41.160
<v Speaker 2>But I don't know. I was reading something about this

0:44:41.200 --> 0:44:43.759
<v Speaker 2>full moon and it was saying something about like it's

0:44:43.800 --> 0:44:47.680
<v Speaker 2>being it's a heavy one for some especially like I

0:44:47.719 --> 0:44:51.080
<v Speaker 2>think it was. I think it was sister's village Instagram.

0:44:51.080 --> 0:44:53.399
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you've ever looked, yeah, followed, Yeah,

0:44:53.400 --> 0:44:55.960
<v Speaker 2>they're really good, and she was saying like tell me

0:44:55.960 --> 0:44:58.360
<v Speaker 2>a rising sign and I'll tell you what the effects

0:44:58.360 --> 0:45:01.000
<v Speaker 2>of this moon has on you. And so I was

0:45:01.040 --> 0:45:04.600
<v Speaker 2>reading the comments and I got to Scorpio and it

0:45:04.719 --> 0:45:07.800
<v Speaker 2>said like something about what was it? I want to

0:45:07.840 --> 0:45:09.600
<v Speaker 2>read it? Like did I take a screenshot of it?

0:45:09.600 --> 0:45:14.120
<v Speaker 2>I hope I did. But it was just like basically

0:45:14.280 --> 0:45:17.840
<v Speaker 2>inner child work, healing your inner child, like working on

0:45:17.880 --> 0:45:20.840
<v Speaker 2>your a very important relationship, really finding the time to

0:45:20.880 --> 0:45:24.640
<v Speaker 2>do it, and like like right now, like that's like

0:45:25.040 --> 0:45:27.960
<v Speaker 2>so important to me because it's like it's crazy. I

0:45:28.040 --> 0:45:32.200
<v Speaker 2>see the change in her. I see that she is

0:45:32.280 --> 0:45:34.320
<v Speaker 2>literally like there's a shift happening.

0:45:34.600 --> 0:45:37.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's this age right now is like from girl

0:45:38.080 --> 0:45:41.960
<v Speaker 1>like little girl to like young lady, Like, oh you're

0:45:42.000 --> 0:45:46.320
<v Speaker 1>a person person. Oh you're communicating clearly. Oh you're having

0:45:46.400 --> 0:45:50.279
<v Speaker 1>feelings and thoughts and opinions. It is like Luna has

0:45:50.280 --> 0:45:51.880
<v Speaker 1>told me some stuff in the last week, and I'm like,

0:45:51.920 --> 0:45:54.120
<v Speaker 1>who the fuck are you? And I'm like, oh, yeah,

0:45:54.280 --> 0:45:59.359
<v Speaker 1>my fucking child. Yeah me, Like it's just like and

0:45:59.520 --> 0:46:01.640
<v Speaker 1>doing it friendly than our parents did. I was.

0:46:01.719 --> 0:46:04.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like I wasn't I wasn't sheltered.

0:46:05.560 --> 0:46:09.319
<v Speaker 1>But I I like my parents. My parents talk to

0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:11.480
<v Speaker 1>me like a human And so I try to let

0:46:11.560 --> 0:46:15.000
<v Speaker 1>Lunam feel comfortable enough to be honest, but I'm like

0:46:15.040 --> 0:46:19.480
<v Speaker 1>overwhelmed by the information that she knows because it feels like, damn,

0:46:19.520 --> 0:46:21.680
<v Speaker 1>you're a fucking adult.

0:46:22.600 --> 0:46:24.800
<v Speaker 2>This is what it's said. It said for Scorpio rising,

0:46:24.840 --> 0:46:28.200
<v Speaker 2>this full moon is guiding you to reevaluate your daily

0:46:28.239 --> 0:46:32.799
<v Speaker 2>routine and how you spend your time. Are there are

0:46:32.800 --> 0:46:35.239
<v Speaker 2>things you shouldn't be spending each day doing or doing

0:46:35.320 --> 0:46:38.640
<v Speaker 2>less of. It's calling you to release yourself of perfectionism

0:46:39.280 --> 0:46:41.920
<v Speaker 2>and allow yourself to surrender to the flow of life.

0:46:42.320 --> 0:46:44.840
<v Speaker 2>And so like, that's what I think is like happening

0:46:44.880 --> 0:46:46.799
<v Speaker 2>to me too. I'm just like, I'm never gonna be

0:46:46.840 --> 0:46:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna be perfect. There's no way, like because

0:46:50.280 --> 0:46:52.480
<v Speaker 2>even the pressure of having a platform like what we have,

0:46:52.680 --> 0:46:55.560
<v Speaker 2>like where we talk openly about like trying to reparent

0:46:55.600 --> 0:46:59.120
<v Speaker 2>ourselves and repairent our children and you know, do all

0:46:59.160 --> 0:47:02.239
<v Speaker 2>this work essentially and then still in some ways fail

0:47:02.560 --> 0:47:06.640
<v Speaker 2>like in this work that we're doing like privately essentially,

0:47:06.880 --> 0:47:10.160
<v Speaker 2>Like it just like it feels overwhelming sometimes and daunting,

0:47:10.239 --> 0:47:11.879
<v Speaker 2>like I have to get it right right, Like.

0:47:11.880 --> 0:47:14.040
<v Speaker 1>I have all the resources, Like am I supposed to

0:47:14.040 --> 0:47:16.640
<v Speaker 1>give a fuck? I'm I'm not supposed to give a fuck. Yeah,

0:47:16.800 --> 0:47:20.800
<v Speaker 1>it's like your's which your just Leo right my rising?

0:47:21.000 --> 0:47:23.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah uh yeah Leo. Let me see if I can

0:47:23.520 --> 0:47:23.799
<v Speaker 1>find it.

0:47:23.840 --> 0:47:27.879
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, it was just it was just it's been

0:47:27.960 --> 0:47:30.960
<v Speaker 2>like feeling that way, but I feel different of Leo rising.

0:47:31.200 --> 0:47:33.080
<v Speaker 2>For Leo Rising, the full moon is guiding you to

0:47:33.120 --> 0:47:35.399
<v Speaker 2>reflect on the stories you have been telling yourself and

0:47:35.440 --> 0:47:37.480
<v Speaker 2>how they have been holding you back from your growth,

0:47:37.840 --> 0:47:40.400
<v Speaker 2>connect with what life means to you, what do you

0:47:40.440 --> 0:47:47.880
<v Speaker 2>want out of this life? But yeah, so, but me

0:47:47.920 --> 0:47:50.560
<v Speaker 2>and Iri have a So I was like literally on

0:47:50.640 --> 0:47:53.279
<v Speaker 2>Discord the other day crying in the carpool line at

0:47:53.320 --> 0:47:56.279
<v Speaker 2>Iris school because I asked everyone on Discord like I

0:47:56.280 --> 0:47:59.360
<v Speaker 2>need advice because I was feeling really defeated after the

0:47:59.360 --> 0:48:03.360
<v Speaker 2>way she treated honestly, honestly and and then you're telling

0:48:03.360 --> 0:48:07.080
<v Speaker 2>me like that thing like the she like like are

0:48:07.120 --> 0:48:08.960
<v Speaker 2>my nanny? Such as being mean? And I was like

0:48:08.960 --> 0:48:11.120
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck? Like this is not my child, Like

0:48:11.160 --> 0:48:13.560
<v Speaker 2>what what is happening? And I've been noticing her behavior

0:48:13.640 --> 0:48:16.720
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like it's I just feel like I'm seeing

0:48:16.800 --> 0:48:20.759
<v Speaker 2>things that like granted are just probably you know, seven

0:48:20.840 --> 0:48:23.960
<v Speaker 2>year old things, but also like, Okay, what can I

0:48:24.000 --> 0:48:27.040
<v Speaker 2>do to like nurture this more? Like figure this out? More?

0:48:27.040 --> 0:48:29.120
<v Speaker 2>What am I not doing? And so I'm like on

0:48:29.200 --> 0:48:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Discord and like texting the Discord like Mom's like mom, emergency,

0:48:33.719 --> 0:48:38.840
<v Speaker 2>help me help literally, And so all these people started

0:48:38.840 --> 0:48:41.600
<v Speaker 2>messaging me all this great advice. Like, man, I'm just

0:48:41.600 --> 0:48:44.239
<v Speaker 2>so grateful for like the community we have because there's

0:48:44.280 --> 0:48:47.719
<v Speaker 2>so many different perspectives and there's so many like older parents,

0:48:47.760 --> 0:48:50.200
<v Speaker 2>like people that I can call on and be like, hey,

0:48:50.280 --> 0:48:52.960
<v Speaker 2>what did you do? What didn't you do? Tell me

0:48:53.000 --> 0:48:55.359
<v Speaker 2>what to do? What did you what would worked for you,

0:48:56.080 --> 0:48:58.759
<v Speaker 2>Like what does a be specific? I need a specific thing,

0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:03.359
<v Speaker 2>and so yeah, they were all messaging me and then

0:49:03.440 --> 0:49:05.000
<v Speaker 2>like that, I picked her up and I was like, hey,

0:49:05.040 --> 0:49:07.719
<v Speaker 2>so I've decided that every Thursday, we're gonna have a

0:49:07.719 --> 0:49:09.480
<v Speaker 2>mommy daughter day. We're gonna go home, we're gonna get

0:49:09.520 --> 0:49:11.400
<v Speaker 2>dressed up, and we're gonna go pick a place. You

0:49:11.440 --> 0:49:13.200
<v Speaker 2>pick this week. I pick next week. And she was

0:49:13.239 --> 0:49:15.759
<v Speaker 2>like so excited. I was excited. Then my phone died.

0:49:15.800 --> 0:49:17.880
<v Speaker 2>I was like, bitch, this is was supposed to happen,

0:49:18.000 --> 0:49:20.040
<v Speaker 2>Like this is what it's about, Like I'm supposed to

0:49:20.080 --> 0:49:22.160
<v Speaker 2>be here, like I need to really be able to

0:49:22.200 --> 0:49:25.480
<v Speaker 2>commit to this connection with her, and like it made

0:49:25.520 --> 0:49:27.319
<v Speaker 2>me feel good, it made her feel good, and like

0:49:27.360 --> 0:49:29.879
<v Speaker 2>I just feel like sometimes working parents, like you know,

0:49:29.960 --> 0:49:32.600
<v Speaker 2>it's fucking hard, like you're trying. I just felt like

0:49:32.640 --> 0:49:34.279
<v Speaker 2>I've been in this mode of just like did you eat,

0:49:34.560 --> 0:49:36.919
<v Speaker 2>did you do your homework? Go to sleep? Did you eat?

0:49:37.120 --> 0:49:40.400
<v Speaker 2>Did your homework? Plate it okay? Okay here like you know,

0:49:40.600 --> 0:49:43.960
<v Speaker 2>or it's like there's no real special time that I've

0:49:44.040 --> 0:49:47.760
<v Speaker 2>that I've really carved out really just for her, and

0:49:48.320 --> 0:49:51.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm excited to see how that moves moves a relationship forward.

0:49:52.000 --> 0:49:55.640
<v Speaker 2>But like it's just been a weird time. I've been

0:49:55.640 --> 0:49:59.480
<v Speaker 2>crying a lot and trying to figure this shit out. Well,

0:49:59.520 --> 0:50:01.560
<v Speaker 2>it's okay cry. You need to cry, you need to

0:50:01.600 --> 0:50:02.960
<v Speaker 2>move the emotion. You know.

0:50:03.040 --> 0:50:07.200
<v Speaker 1>I realize, like it's really important to cry, it's really

0:50:07.239 --> 0:50:09.680
<v Speaker 1>important to feel, and like it's okay to cry even

0:50:09.719 --> 0:50:10.880
<v Speaker 1>if you don't know why you're crying.

0:50:11.480 --> 0:50:14.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's it's important to like let it all

0:50:14.120 --> 0:50:16.200
<v Speaker 2>come out however it comes out, and it's important to

0:50:16.239 --> 0:50:19.720
<v Speaker 2>move your body. Yeah, it's yeah, I know, it's crazy.

0:50:19.760 --> 0:50:22.160
<v Speaker 2>It's crazy to have so many emotions. Like they're good,

0:50:22.200 --> 0:50:24.759
<v Speaker 2>like the tour was amazing, I'm so grateful. Then there's

0:50:24.800 --> 0:50:27.800
<v Speaker 2>like this like so like emotional like vulnerability with my daughter.

0:50:28.080 --> 0:50:30.440
<v Speaker 2>Then there's like anger because my baby daddy's is not

0:50:30.480 --> 0:50:32.880
<v Speaker 2>shit and he's a fucking asshole. And then I'm just

0:50:32.920 --> 0:50:35.600
<v Speaker 2>like why would I choose you? Get out? Like please God,

0:50:35.719 --> 0:50:38.719
<v Speaker 2>why just remove this person from my life? And then

0:50:38.760 --> 0:50:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I have this amazing man who's just like the shit amazing,

0:50:42.280 --> 0:50:45.080
<v Speaker 2>but also chat where he challenges me as well, and

0:50:45.120 --> 0:50:48.280
<v Speaker 2>like we challenge each other but in like the best

0:50:48.280 --> 0:50:51.200
<v Speaker 2>way possible. But like it's all like a lot of

0:50:51.360 --> 0:50:54.960
<v Speaker 2>energy exchanges happening currently in my life, which I know

0:50:55.040 --> 0:50:58.040
<v Speaker 2>feels like this grand tornado that's going to like shift

0:50:58.880 --> 0:51:02.480
<v Speaker 2>a lot soon, and it's already on its way shifting.

0:51:03.000 --> 0:51:10.000
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know. It's life is lifing. Life is lifing.

0:51:12.719 --> 0:51:15.680
<v Speaker 2>But you know, and I'm turning thirty something, yeah, and

0:51:15.760 --> 0:51:17.920
<v Speaker 2>then I'm turning thirty something and I think that's too.

0:51:18.040 --> 0:51:22.280
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot. There's a lot happening. Yeah, but it's fine.

0:51:22.400 --> 0:51:24.919
<v Speaker 2>It's fine. I look good and everything's good, and I'm

0:51:25.000 --> 0:51:28.000
<v Speaker 2>young and it's fine. It's just like the best time

0:51:28.040 --> 0:51:30.720
<v Speaker 2>of your fucking life. I know. Birthdays are so weird.

0:51:30.960 --> 0:51:33.080
<v Speaker 2>I just I don't know. It's like I don't want

0:51:33.080 --> 0:51:34.799
<v Speaker 2>to do anything, but I know when it gets like

0:51:34.840 --> 0:51:36.480
<v Speaker 2>on the day, i'm'd be like, why did I decide

0:51:36.520 --> 0:51:38.279
<v Speaker 2>not to do anything? I'm mad and I want to

0:51:38.280 --> 0:51:40.279
<v Speaker 2>hang out with my friends, but also like leave me

0:51:40.280 --> 0:51:47.640
<v Speaker 2>the fuck alone. That's just fucking scorpio. Yeah. Well, it's

0:51:47.680 --> 0:51:51.440
<v Speaker 2>almost Scorpio season. It is Libra season, and they matter,

0:51:51.719 --> 0:51:53.880
<v Speaker 2>but I'm just gonna go ahead and just call it

0:51:53.880 --> 0:51:58.040
<v Speaker 2>declare Scorpio season now. It's Scorpio season. Now, A month

0:51:58.200 --> 0:51:59.160
<v Speaker 2>Scorpio season.

0:52:00.840 --> 0:52:03.799
<v Speaker 1>What a beautiful thing it is to feel though, right like,

0:52:03.840 --> 0:52:06.400
<v Speaker 1>at least we feel and let's says know we're alive.

0:52:07.800 --> 0:52:10.000
<v Speaker 2>And we're self aware.

0:52:11.280 --> 0:52:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Thank God for self awareness and for the ability to

0:52:14.120 --> 0:52:16.480
<v Speaker 1>grow and to dig deeper.

0:52:17.560 --> 0:52:19.880
<v Speaker 2>No, being self aware is the greatest gift, you know,

0:52:20.000 --> 0:52:23.400
<v Speaker 2>it is, and it's also my greatest curse, because sometimes

0:52:23.440 --> 0:52:27.880
<v Speaker 2>a bitch wish it could just be like whatever, I

0:52:27.920 --> 0:52:30.240
<v Speaker 2>know it, but whatever you know, it's like too much,

0:52:30.360 --> 0:52:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm too it's too much. Sometimes it is so much.

0:52:34.960 --> 0:52:37.920
<v Speaker 2>There's so many feelings. I feel so much. I'm like,

0:52:38.000 --> 0:52:40.640
<v Speaker 2>is this because I'm a cancer? What the fuck? It's

0:52:40.680 --> 0:52:43.600
<v Speaker 2>too much. I get tense. Literally, I freeze up.

0:52:43.600 --> 0:52:45.960
<v Speaker 1>There's too many things in my head and just like

0:52:46.040 --> 0:52:49.440
<v Speaker 1>worried about too many things, everything is feeling hard.

0:52:52.960 --> 0:52:54.520
<v Speaker 2>I feel like though, I do feel like I have

0:52:54.520 --> 0:52:57.600
<v Speaker 2>more space. Though I've been getting more space. I'm tired

0:52:57.640 --> 0:52:59.200
<v Speaker 2>as fuck, but literally I feel like I have more

0:52:59.200 --> 0:53:00.839
<v Speaker 2>space in my brain. The last few days, I think

0:53:00.840 --> 0:53:04.600
<v Speaker 2>because I've just the wa No, No, I don't think. No,

0:53:04.680 --> 0:53:07.920
<v Speaker 2>it's not that I think because it's been a weekend

0:53:08.400 --> 0:53:10.480
<v Speaker 2>and I really didn't do work. I really was like

0:53:11.520 --> 0:53:15.880
<v Speaker 2>I looked at stuff and I was like Monday, and

0:53:15.960 --> 0:53:21.680
<v Speaker 2>I never do that. I'm always like okay, but I

0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:25.840
<v Speaker 2>just don't. I just feel like there's space in our

0:53:25.880 --> 0:53:30.160
<v Speaker 2>business too, because we're investing in our business in a

0:53:30.160 --> 0:53:34.080
<v Speaker 2>bigger way to create space in our lives. It's important

0:53:35.360 --> 0:53:37.239
<v Speaker 2>and sometimes you have to do that. Sometimes you have

0:53:37.280 --> 0:53:40.640
<v Speaker 2>to like do whatever has to do, whatever you have

0:53:40.680 --> 0:53:45.600
<v Speaker 2>to do for that sanity in space. So I'm just

0:53:45.600 --> 0:53:47.200
<v Speaker 2>but I'm grateful to be able to be able to

0:53:47.239 --> 0:53:49.399
<v Speaker 2>do that. I've worked really hard and we've worked really

0:53:49.400 --> 0:53:53.080
<v Speaker 2>hard to be able to do that. And to people listening,

0:53:53.120 --> 0:53:55.160
<v Speaker 2>like you've worked really hard to be able to create

0:53:55.239 --> 0:53:57.040
<v Speaker 2>space in your life too. There's different ways that you

0:53:57.080 --> 0:53:59.000
<v Speaker 2>can create space, and we have to do it or

0:53:59.000 --> 0:54:01.200
<v Speaker 2>else we will go fucking I know.

0:54:01.239 --> 0:54:04.560
<v Speaker 1>That's what I keep thinking, Like how like sustainability, like

0:54:04.680 --> 0:54:06.040
<v Speaker 1>how long can we go like this?

0:54:06.440 --> 0:54:08.120
<v Speaker 2>How long can our kids go like this? A long?

0:54:08.280 --> 0:54:10.879
<v Speaker 1>Like, you know, because we realize how quickly time moves

0:54:10.880 --> 0:54:14.200
<v Speaker 1>when we see our kids like come huge overnight.

0:54:15.120 --> 0:54:17.560
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, yeah, that's where I think I'm at with

0:54:17.600 --> 0:54:19.799
<v Speaker 2>it too. It's just like okay, wait, hold on, what

0:54:20.200 --> 0:54:23.399
<v Speaker 2>let's recalibrate here, because like this is important, but there's

0:54:23.400 --> 0:54:24.840
<v Speaker 2>a lot of other things that are important.

0:54:25.000 --> 0:54:27.800
<v Speaker 1>How am I going to be feeling at the most high,

0:54:27.960 --> 0:54:30.320
<v Speaker 1>like the most How am I making use of my

0:54:30.440 --> 0:54:33.560
<v Speaker 1>time where I'm like really having a good life, Like

0:54:33.640 --> 0:54:36.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel really good about where I've put my time,

0:54:36.520 --> 0:54:38.480
<v Speaker 1>what I'm doing, who I'm with. I don't feel bad

0:54:38.480 --> 0:54:41.240
<v Speaker 1>about shit I shouldn't feel bad about. I can literally

0:54:41.320 --> 0:54:44.600
<v Speaker 1>just be in joy and love, like not some underlying

0:54:44.640 --> 0:54:47.759
<v Speaker 1>shit and not some like just really, how can I

0:54:47.840 --> 0:54:52.520
<v Speaker 1>maintain being happy and having peace? And sometimes it's like, yeah,

0:54:52.719 --> 0:54:54.520
<v Speaker 1>making making it.

0:54:54.440 --> 0:55:05.040
<v Speaker 2>Happen, boundaries and finances, finances. But that's why you have

0:55:05.080 --> 0:55:08.440
<v Speaker 2>to listen to our episode with Loose, because she's the

0:55:08.440 --> 0:55:11.880
<v Speaker 2>money witch and all of it's possible, and it's October.

0:55:11.960 --> 0:55:15.399
<v Speaker 2>It's witchy October guys, and there's witchy vibes, and there's

0:55:15.440 --> 0:55:18.080
<v Speaker 2>a lot of magic. And it's really about pulling all

0:55:18.080 --> 0:55:21.160
<v Speaker 2>those things together and like acknowledging the things, right, we

0:55:21.280 --> 0:55:24.120
<v Speaker 2>just acknowledge them, but then also like getting activated in them.

0:55:24.160 --> 0:55:26.279
<v Speaker 2>And that's also what I've been feeling too. It's like

0:55:26.320 --> 0:55:29.560
<v Speaker 2>when I just feel activated, I'm like, Okay, I can

0:55:29.600 --> 0:55:32.680
<v Speaker 2>do this. I got this. Yeah, you know, and believing that.

0:55:33.040 --> 0:55:38.399
<v Speaker 2>And it's a full moon, it's Wednesday, but then full

0:55:38.440 --> 0:55:41.040
<v Speaker 2>moon energy is still from Ari's moon is still present,

0:55:41.120 --> 0:55:43.080
<v Speaker 2>and it's still vibing and doing its things. So if

0:55:43.080 --> 0:55:45.560
<v Speaker 2>you're listening to this, I encourage you to go home,

0:55:46.280 --> 0:55:48.880
<v Speaker 2>write something down, think about what it is that you

0:55:49.000 --> 0:55:52.839
<v Speaker 2>want to release or indulge in. Because it was also

0:55:52.880 --> 0:55:55.000
<v Speaker 2>saying that this moon is all about like also kind

0:55:55.000 --> 0:56:00.680
<v Speaker 2>of tapping into like your childlike energy, like being laughing, dancing,

0:56:00.840 --> 0:56:04.000
<v Speaker 2>doing cartwheels. I think that's what I don't do. Do

0:56:04.040 --> 0:56:07.120
<v Speaker 2>some cartwheels. Do a cart wheel today, See how makes

0:56:07.160 --> 0:56:11.439
<v Speaker 2>you feel. It's usually pretty fun. Mm hmm. Don't hurt

0:56:11.440 --> 0:56:15.840
<v Speaker 2>yourself first, just like I don't advise you starve yourself

0:56:15.880 --> 0:56:17.400
<v Speaker 2>like me. Also, do you do a cart will you

0:56:17.440 --> 0:56:20.520
<v Speaker 2>hurt yourself? It's not my fault. Strive yourself and then

0:56:20.520 --> 0:56:23.200
<v Speaker 2>do a cartrail like it gonna be freeze but it's

0:56:23.200 --> 0:56:29.560
<v Speaker 2>the eight when eight diet and alkaline water at least. Also,

0:56:29.640 --> 0:56:30.919
<v Speaker 2>I read one cart wheel a day.

0:56:31.760 --> 0:56:35.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm reading Debbie's book, and there's a therapist, a family,

0:56:35.960 --> 0:56:39.799
<v Speaker 1>a famous family therapist that says four hugs a day

0:56:39.840 --> 0:56:43.120
<v Speaker 1>is for survival. Eight hugs a day is for maintenance

0:56:43.160 --> 0:56:46.880
<v Speaker 1>and twelve hugs a day is for growth. M So

0:56:46.960 --> 0:56:49.759
<v Speaker 1>make sure you're getting your twelve plus twelve, twelve, make

0:56:49.760 --> 0:56:51.440
<v Speaker 1>it twelve, make it twelve or more?

0:56:51.520 --> 0:56:55.160
<v Speaker 2>Which one? Survival? Four? Four? Damn like just yeah, it

0:56:55.200 --> 0:56:57.080
<v Speaker 2>feels like it. Oh my god, it is like for survival.

0:56:57.120 --> 0:56:57.560
<v Speaker 2>It's like.

0:56:59.320 --> 0:57:02.400
<v Speaker 1>It's like the half hug you gotta give people, like

0:57:02.560 --> 0:57:03.880
<v Speaker 1>deep long hugs.

0:57:04.760 --> 0:57:08.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, cuddle people. I'm gonna pull a card because at

0:57:08.760 --> 0:57:14.719
<v Speaker 2>the beginning of the episode, the Two of Ones two

0:57:14.760 --> 0:57:21.720
<v Speaker 2>of One's let me two, we also have an advice

0:57:21.800 --> 0:57:26.160
<v Speaker 2>question today, guys, it's been a while since. Uh, I

0:57:26.160 --> 0:57:28.280
<v Speaker 2>feel like we've done advice questions.

0:57:28.960 --> 0:57:35.640
<v Speaker 1>Two of One's Personal goals inner alignment, fear of unknown progress,

0:57:35.720 --> 0:57:40.840
<v Speaker 1>decisions discovery. That was reverse personal goals inner alignment for them. No, okay,

0:57:41.720 --> 0:57:44.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot of pop ups a very popular sect.

0:57:45.920 --> 0:57:50.160
<v Speaker 2>It's become very popular. It's all because of us. They

0:57:50.280 --> 0:57:56.479
<v Speaker 2>blew up. They didn't know why people do ask about

0:57:56.520 --> 0:57:58.160
<v Speaker 2>them a lot. They do.

0:57:58.200 --> 0:58:01.400
<v Speaker 1>Really do we need a partnership with Biddy. Two of

0:58:01.480 --> 0:58:04.040
<v Speaker 1>Wand's upright. The Two of Wands takes the spark of

0:58:04.120 --> 0:58:06.439
<v Speaker 1>inspiration from the Ace of Wands and turns it into

0:58:06.480 --> 0:58:09.880
<v Speaker 1>a clear action plan. You went through the discovery phase,

0:58:10.000 --> 0:58:12.760
<v Speaker 1>and now that you want to manifest. Now that you

0:58:13.360 --> 0:58:15.520
<v Speaker 1>went to discovery phase and know what you want to manifest,

0:58:15.600 --> 0:58:18.240
<v Speaker 1>now you need to figure out how you're exploring your

0:58:18.280 --> 0:58:22.040
<v Speaker 1>options and carefully plotting out the path ahead, accounting for

0:58:22.120 --> 0:58:25.560
<v Speaker 1>all possibilities and potential challenges. You are open to growth

0:58:25.600 --> 0:58:28.720
<v Speaker 1>and exploring new territories so long as you maintain a

0:58:28.800 --> 0:58:32.320
<v Speaker 1>level of certainty that efforts will work out in the end.

0:58:33.320 --> 0:58:35.200
<v Speaker 1>When the two of one appears in a terror reading,

0:58:35.240 --> 0:58:37.200
<v Speaker 1>you are not ready to make your move. It is

0:58:37.240 --> 0:58:40.840
<v Speaker 1>more important that you establish a clear path before proceeding.

0:58:41.360 --> 0:58:44.360
<v Speaker 1>The two of Wands is also about discovery, particularly as

0:58:44.360 --> 0:58:46.960
<v Speaker 1>you step outside of your comfort zone and explore new

0:58:47.000 --> 0:58:50.360
<v Speaker 1>world and experiences. It may take courage to set out,

0:58:50.400 --> 0:58:53.240
<v Speaker 1>but this card gives you the confidence of self knowledge.

0:58:53.720 --> 0:58:55.720
<v Speaker 1>You know what your goal is and you are sure

0:58:56.000 --> 0:58:59.600
<v Speaker 1>of its eventual fulfillment. Let your intuition and pression and

0:58:59.640 --> 0:59:02.400
<v Speaker 1>passion and guide you as you confirm your next steps.

0:59:03.680 --> 0:59:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Hmm. That resonates a lot.

0:59:07.760 --> 0:59:09.640
<v Speaker 1>You have already come so far and now you feel

0:59:09.680 --> 0:59:12.479
<v Speaker 1>ready for the change, this time with your long term

0:59:12.560 --> 0:59:19.040
<v Speaker 1>future in mind. You may be complimenting como contemplating overseas travel,

0:59:19.120 --> 0:59:23.520
<v Speaker 1>further education, or significant career switched to expand your horizons

0:59:23.520 --> 0:59:24.960
<v Speaker 1>beyond your immediate environment.

0:59:27.440 --> 0:59:30.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, with careful planning and moderate approach, you will set

0:59:30.000 --> 0:59:36.680
<v Speaker 2>yourself up for success. Yeah, it's kind of what I

0:59:36.720 --> 0:59:40.240
<v Speaker 2>feel too, like just planning out and like really taking

0:59:40.280 --> 0:59:44.960
<v Speaker 2>time to really decide how I can nurture different parts

0:59:45.000 --> 0:59:46.439
<v Speaker 2>of my life right now.

0:59:47.120 --> 0:59:50.440
<v Speaker 1>The two interiros often represents decisions of some sort. With

0:59:50.560 --> 0:59:53.320
<v Speaker 1>this too, you may make a choice between sticking with

0:59:53.360 --> 0:59:55.880
<v Speaker 1>what you know or taking a risk. You understand the

0:59:55.880 --> 0:59:58.480
<v Speaker 1>world has something bigger or more meaningful to offer you,

0:59:58.880 --> 1:00:01.440
<v Speaker 1>Yet you also realize that you must leave your familiar

1:00:01.440 --> 1:00:05.120
<v Speaker 1>grounds to capitalize on the opportunity. Even though you already

1:00:05.120 --> 1:00:08.240
<v Speaker 1>invested a lot into your current circumstances, it is imperative

1:00:08.280 --> 1:00:11.040
<v Speaker 1>that you step out and explore your options.

1:00:12.600 --> 1:00:16.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm exploring all parts of what brings me pleasure right now,

1:00:16.720 --> 1:00:22.600
<v Speaker 2>publicly and privately. Right, you know, publicly and privately. So

1:00:24.480 --> 1:00:28.000
<v Speaker 2>what's that? That was the two of one? You hear

1:00:28.040 --> 1:00:31.200
<v Speaker 2>my stomach? Yeah? I did. My stomach scrowling, guys, because

1:00:31.200 --> 1:00:36.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm starving, diet guys, I'm not starving. Don't worry like,

1:00:36.840 --> 1:00:40.480
<v Speaker 2>don't I'm not herexic geez trigger warning. Hold on, this

1:00:40.600 --> 1:00:41.440
<v Speaker 2>is not arexia.

1:00:41.480 --> 1:00:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I want to be very clear here, spiritual, spiritually eight

1:00:45.480 --> 1:00:47.080
<v Speaker 1>when eight de tax it is.

1:00:47.160 --> 1:00:50.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to start praying tonight. You're supposed to pray

1:00:50.480 --> 1:00:54.600
<v Speaker 2>instead of eat in place of your meals. I know

1:00:55.120 --> 1:00:58.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm good. I told you tonight tonight, I started praying.

1:00:58.080 --> 1:01:00.160
<v Speaker 2>Last night, I did some manifest I mean irin, it's

1:01:00.200 --> 1:01:04.080
<v Speaker 2>some manifesting. Last night. I let some candles said some things.

1:01:04.560 --> 1:01:07.080
<v Speaker 2>We did too. We broughte our ancestor money. We burned it.

1:01:07.120 --> 1:01:07.880
<v Speaker 2>I gotta release it.

1:01:07.920 --> 1:01:13.560
<v Speaker 1>I left some eggs at the crossroads. All the things perfect, beautiful.

1:01:14.960 --> 1:01:21.280
<v Speaker 2>We have an advice question, okay, and this is from

1:01:21.280 --> 1:01:33.040
<v Speaker 2>It's a mom advice question. It's very rude. Actually it's rude. Yeah, okay, Hi,

1:01:33.160 --> 1:01:35.000
<v Speaker 2>I just started listening to your show, and wow, I'm

1:01:35.040 --> 1:01:38.120
<v Speaker 2>so glad I found it. I love you, guys, love you.

1:01:38.160 --> 1:01:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Can you please give me some advice to single moms

1:01:40.640 --> 1:01:43.040
<v Speaker 2>who have been dumped by a long term boyfriend because

1:01:43.040 --> 1:01:45.040
<v Speaker 2>he just wasn't ready to spend his free time with

1:01:45.120 --> 1:01:47.840
<v Speaker 2>me and my kid. My boyfriend of almost three years

1:01:47.920 --> 1:01:50.280
<v Speaker 2>finally met my five year old daughter, and after hanging

1:01:50.280 --> 1:01:52.080
<v Speaker 2>out with us a few times, he said he didn't

1:01:52.120 --> 1:01:54.880
<v Speaker 2>feel right and didn't like that he was just there.

1:01:55.720 --> 1:01:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling like at I'm feeling at an all time low.

1:01:59.680 --> 1:02:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Now I'm afraid no man will ever want me because

1:02:01.880 --> 1:02:04.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm a mom. Plus I'm thirty four now and all

1:02:04.360 --> 1:02:06.919
<v Speaker 2>my friends are married and live far. I can't even

1:02:06.960 --> 1:02:11.520
<v Speaker 2>go out nowadays. Help fucking rude, rude? What the fuck?

1:02:13.240 --> 1:02:18.080
<v Speaker 2>First of all, thank god, thank god? First, like, thank

1:02:18.120 --> 1:02:20.560
<v Speaker 2>god that he was like he just kept him moving.

1:02:20.680 --> 1:02:22.600
<v Speaker 2>But let this be a lesson. Don't wait three years? Yeah,

1:02:22.920 --> 1:02:27.080
<v Speaker 2>you don't. Don't. Why did you wait three years? The

1:02:27.160 --> 1:02:30.960
<v Speaker 2>girl like she was two? Yeah.

1:02:31.040 --> 1:02:33.560
<v Speaker 1>I think that we do ourselves a disservice when we

1:02:33.640 --> 1:02:35.800
<v Speaker 1>wait so long, because then people don't get to know

1:02:35.840 --> 1:02:37.600
<v Speaker 1>you as the mom that you are.

1:02:37.760 --> 1:02:41.160
<v Speaker 2>There's a real whole other side of you, probably the

1:02:41.600 --> 1:02:44.640
<v Speaker 2>one of the largest parts of you, especially at that age,

1:02:44.720 --> 1:02:46.960
<v Speaker 2>because your daughter is like what two years old when

1:02:46.960 --> 1:02:49.160
<v Speaker 2>you met this man, like you're in it, in it.

1:02:49.720 --> 1:02:53.760
<v Speaker 2>He is not experiencing this person like that? Is you

1:02:54.760 --> 1:02:59.680
<v Speaker 2>so coming into a space like that, like uh uh no,

1:03:00.880 --> 1:03:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know why he would have waited. I

1:03:02.200 --> 1:03:03.840
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't even waited that long. I was like, I need

1:03:03.840 --> 1:03:05.280
<v Speaker 2>to meet your child, right right?

1:03:05.400 --> 1:03:08.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean he just I mean and honestly the let

1:03:08.600 --> 1:03:11.720
<v Speaker 1>the week move on, you know if it's yeah, he's

1:03:11.760 --> 1:03:13.520
<v Speaker 1>not about that life good.

1:03:13.360 --> 1:03:14.040
<v Speaker 2>Like keep it moving.

1:03:14.080 --> 1:03:16.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm happy or honest with me, but I wouldn't give up.

1:03:16.840 --> 1:03:20.800
<v Speaker 1>There's definitely like there's definitely men that will love you

1:03:20.840 --> 1:03:23.240
<v Speaker 1>and love your child and you're still worthy.

1:03:23.320 --> 1:03:24.600
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter if your mom.

1:03:24.520 --> 1:03:27.360
<v Speaker 1>For sure, one or three or five, whatever the fuck,

1:03:27.480 --> 1:03:32.160
<v Speaker 1>Like if you went love that's something that is accessible. Yeah,

1:03:32.240 --> 1:03:35.640
<v Speaker 1>and the right one, the right person that gets it.

1:03:36.600 --> 1:03:38.920
<v Speaker 2>But you have to be honest about your motherhood like

1:03:39.000 --> 1:03:41.680
<v Speaker 2>you cannot be. You kind of hid your motherhood from

1:03:41.760 --> 1:03:44.479
<v Speaker 2>him too, Like I don't know what the circumstances are,

1:03:44.600 --> 1:03:47.000
<v Speaker 2>like you know, if you want to further explain or

1:03:47.040 --> 1:03:50.160
<v Speaker 2>not explain, if you want to further share, like I'm

1:03:50.200 --> 1:03:52.720
<v Speaker 2>interested to know, but like you hid your child too,

1:03:52.960 --> 1:03:56.440
<v Speaker 2>like you kind of you manifest these kind of situations

1:03:56.440 --> 1:03:58.680
<v Speaker 2>when you hide parts of especially the major parts of

1:03:58.720 --> 1:04:01.600
<v Speaker 2>yourself like that from someone who's supposed to love you,

1:04:01.800 --> 1:04:03.520
<v Speaker 2>like especially I'm sure after three years I hope you

1:04:03.560 --> 1:04:06.600
<v Speaker 2>guys are in love, Like fuck that guy. But also

1:04:06.800 --> 1:04:12.440
<v Speaker 2>next time, I recommend if you're feeling my first date, yeah,

1:04:12.480 --> 1:04:16.240
<v Speaker 2>but like I recommend like reconsidering like the time in

1:04:16.280 --> 1:04:19.280
<v Speaker 2>which you wait to introduce or at least I don't

1:04:19.320 --> 1:04:20.040
<v Speaker 2>know present.

1:04:20.160 --> 1:04:23.200
<v Speaker 1>It's also it's also doing a disservice for your child

1:04:23.280 --> 1:04:24.800
<v Speaker 1>because she's like, who the fuck is this.

1:04:24.920 --> 1:04:26.640
<v Speaker 2>The fact that your mother is like the coolest part

1:04:26.640 --> 1:04:29.120
<v Speaker 2>of you. Actually, you're a natural nurturer. You know how

1:04:29.160 --> 1:04:33.120
<v Speaker 2>to take care of a person, like you have this amazing, incredible, yes,

1:04:33.480 --> 1:04:39.720
<v Speaker 2>anxiety filled responsibility. But it's literally like I look at

1:04:39.720 --> 1:04:43.000
<v Speaker 2>motherhood as like that's my biggest flex that's my asset,

1:04:43.160 --> 1:04:46.880
<v Speaker 2>Like I have no qualms or ways or like there's

1:04:46.920 --> 1:04:50.320
<v Speaker 2>nothing around it at this point, you know, So just

1:04:50.360 --> 1:04:52.520
<v Speaker 2>start trying to look at it that way. Definitely don't

1:04:52.520 --> 1:04:54.680
<v Speaker 2>look at it as that and thirty four year young girl.

1:04:54.840 --> 1:04:57.240
<v Speaker 1>And also like, yeah, I have a kid, I'm a mom.

1:04:57.360 --> 1:04:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I have shit to do. I don't have time for

1:04:59.000 --> 1:05:01.600
<v Speaker 1>any bullshit. So of your some bullshit, it's best you

1:05:01.720 --> 1:05:02.800
<v Speaker 1>let me know now. I don't have a lot of

1:05:02.800 --> 1:05:04.840
<v Speaker 1>time to play games. This is what I want, this

1:05:04.920 --> 1:05:05.840
<v Speaker 1>is what I don't want.

1:05:05.800 --> 1:05:08.000
<v Speaker 2>And you can go out with your married friends. Go

1:05:08.040 --> 1:05:10.080
<v Speaker 2>out with your married friends. This is not like you

1:05:10.120 --> 1:05:11.919
<v Speaker 2>don't have to. I mean, obviously you guys are living

1:05:11.960 --> 1:05:14.360
<v Speaker 2>in different lives. But make new friends or go out

1:05:14.360 --> 1:05:16.760
<v Speaker 2>with your married friends. Don't not go out and make

1:05:16.800 --> 1:05:19.680
<v Speaker 2>excuses to why you can't go out, Like it's not

1:05:19.720 --> 1:05:22.880
<v Speaker 2>even about going out, but like, go outside, go outside,

1:05:23.200 --> 1:05:30.520
<v Speaker 2>definitely go outside. Meet people. Yeah, connect join our discord,

1:05:30.560 --> 1:05:33.400
<v Speaker 2>that's what that's what Discord's for. Go join the discord,

1:05:33.480 --> 1:05:38.920
<v Speaker 2>make some friends and meet up. Yeah. So I'm sorry

1:05:38.920 --> 1:05:41.640
<v Speaker 2>that happened too, though. That's trash. It's really really whack.

1:05:46.680 --> 1:05:50.200
<v Speaker 2>Do you have a hurry, Yeah, we do have a hurry.

1:05:50.360 --> 1:05:55.680
<v Speaker 2>Let's see if I can find it. Oh it was

1:05:55.720 --> 1:06:01.200
<v Speaker 2>a pegging horry. Oh I love those it was pegging

1:06:01.280 --> 1:06:05.560
<v Speaker 2>hoy one moment. Please what I find the pegging horry?

1:06:10.760 --> 1:06:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Who stories? Proceed with caution. This is from an OG

1:06:17.800 --> 1:06:21.880
<v Speaker 2>listener shout out to you. So I was dating this

1:06:21.920 --> 1:06:26.560
<v Speaker 2>woman at the time and she was very lesbian, very lesbian.

1:06:27.160 --> 1:06:31.800
<v Speaker 2>Note I know the time she was a total top

1:06:31.840 --> 1:06:34.400
<v Speaker 2>and never wanted to receive, which is cool but was

1:06:34.480 --> 1:06:36.160
<v Speaker 2>new but was new to me back then. I was

1:06:36.160 --> 1:06:37.840
<v Speaker 2>twenty two, and I was young and dumb and full

1:06:37.840 --> 1:06:42.320
<v Speaker 2>of cum. Okay, stream to it. Huh. One day I

1:06:42.360 --> 1:06:44.560
<v Speaker 2>heard her talking with a gay boy best friend about

1:06:44.560 --> 1:06:47.120
<v Speaker 2>how she topped him. I was so curious. That was

1:06:47.160 --> 1:06:49.720
<v Speaker 2>the first day I heard about pegging my friend was

1:06:49.880 --> 1:06:51.840
<v Speaker 2>My mind was blown and I was full, and I

1:06:51.880 --> 1:06:54.520
<v Speaker 2>was full of dirty, fucking fantasies. So of course I

1:06:54.600 --> 1:06:56.840
<v Speaker 2>jumped on the Internet and joined some gay hookup site.

1:06:57.240 --> 1:06:59.720
<v Speaker 2>For some reason, I thought only gay or by men

1:07:00.160 --> 1:07:02.800
<v Speaker 2>be into this, ha ha ha, since the site was

1:07:02.800 --> 1:07:06.320
<v Speaker 2>traditionally gay man. Since the site was a traditionally gay

1:07:06.480 --> 1:07:10.800
<v Speaker 2>man site, and I was definitely a beautiful, big titty chick,

1:07:10.880 --> 1:07:13.840
<v Speaker 2>I decided to be fully upfront and posted in my bio.

1:07:15.000 --> 1:07:16.920
<v Speaker 2>I was there to meet someone who wanted to peg

1:07:17.200 --> 1:07:24.200
<v Speaker 2>strictly for experimenting and no ongoing relationship. My inboxes flooded. Wow.

1:07:24.240 --> 1:07:26.480
<v Speaker 1>I never heard someone hear about a kink and go

1:07:26.600 --> 1:07:28.200
<v Speaker 1>full fledged, like I have to do this.

1:07:29.440 --> 1:07:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Getting a gay profile just so like a fulfillment. She

1:07:32.480 --> 1:07:35.120
<v Speaker 2>has big tits. Okay, she's ambitious, she has big titties,

1:07:35.120 --> 1:07:36.680
<v Speaker 2>and she's going to get what she wants. I like it.

1:07:37.080 --> 1:07:39.640
<v Speaker 2>I was so surprised even straight dudes who just wanted

1:07:39.640 --> 1:07:42.280
<v Speaker 2>to fuck me, which I was confused about. But hey,

1:07:42.320 --> 1:07:45.440
<v Speaker 2>the Internet is a safe space. I had my pick

1:07:45.520 --> 1:07:47.600
<v Speaker 2>of the litter, so I decided I wanted the hottest,

1:07:47.640 --> 1:07:52.680
<v Speaker 2>most masculine straight man with muscular body, tattoo, tall, dark,

1:07:52.720 --> 1:07:55.560
<v Speaker 2>and handsome, because at the time I was fucking mostly

1:07:55.600 --> 1:07:58.360
<v Speaker 2>women and the hard body was mess was missing in

1:07:58.400 --> 1:08:02.360
<v Speaker 2>my sex life. Okay, after finally talking for a while,

1:08:02.400 --> 1:08:04.080
<v Speaker 2>we decided to meet up. I met the guy at

1:08:04.120 --> 1:08:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Starbucks first to make sure I felt safe with him.

1:08:06.520 --> 1:08:09.560
<v Speaker 1>Starbucks, not even like a night bar.

1:08:09.880 --> 1:08:13.040
<v Speaker 2>They went for croissants you're getting okay, and a chai

1:08:13.160 --> 1:08:16.639
<v Speaker 2>latte you're getting coffee to discuss pegging in the daylight.

1:08:16.960 --> 1:08:19.240
<v Speaker 2>Just to meet him, to make sure she felt safe. Okay,

1:08:19.360 --> 1:08:22.640
<v Speaker 2>she's okay. He was six to two, ripped. You know

1:08:22.680 --> 1:08:26.360
<v Speaker 2>this person, He was six too, ripped, light green eyes,

1:08:26.680 --> 1:08:28.960
<v Speaker 2>dark hair. He wore his wedding ring on one hand,

1:08:29.000 --> 1:08:32.840
<v Speaker 2>which gave me a girl boner. He admitted he was

1:08:33.000 --> 1:08:35.040
<v Speaker 2>He admitted he was stepping out on his wife to

1:08:35.080 --> 1:08:38.320
<v Speaker 2>fulfill his desires because he felt uncomfortable admitting to them

1:08:38.320 --> 1:08:41.800
<v Speaker 2>to her. Of course, my moral compass was off that day,

1:08:41.840 --> 1:08:44.120
<v Speaker 2>and I was thinking with my dick, so my devil

1:08:44.160 --> 1:08:46.679
<v Speaker 2>horns were showing. My pussy was so wet for him,

1:08:46.920 --> 1:08:49.760
<v Speaker 2>and I was ready to get it. He found not.

1:08:50.240 --> 1:08:52.360
<v Speaker 2>He was opening up to you, and all you thought

1:08:52.400 --> 1:08:57.960
<v Speaker 2>about was, oh my god, I love this bitch. He

1:08:58.000 --> 1:09:00.080
<v Speaker 2>followed me back to the apartment. We walked to my

1:09:00.439 --> 1:09:03.040
<v Speaker 2>walk past my gay roommate, and I threw him a wink.

1:09:04.120 --> 1:09:08.120
<v Speaker 2>I got one of your kind. As we entered my room,

1:09:08.160 --> 1:09:10.040
<v Speaker 2>I had already set the scene for him. Dildo's on

1:09:10.080 --> 1:09:12.280
<v Speaker 2>the bed so he could pick his sighs. I had

1:09:12.320 --> 1:09:14.519
<v Speaker 2>some other toy set out. I was surprised that I

1:09:14.560 --> 1:09:17.040
<v Speaker 2>wasn't nervous. I was fully tapped into my top energy

1:09:17.080 --> 1:09:19.600
<v Speaker 2>and felt so powerful. He was six ' two and

1:09:19.640 --> 1:09:22.120
<v Speaker 2>super muscular and strong, but he had such a soft,

1:09:22.120 --> 1:09:24.280
<v Speaker 2>sweet personality. I knew he was about to be my

1:09:24.360 --> 1:09:31.439
<v Speaker 2>little bitch. Wait the whey She wrote this strip slowly,

1:09:31.800 --> 1:09:34.200
<v Speaker 2>as I said to him, no, no strip. Slowly, I

1:09:34.240 --> 1:09:37.120
<v Speaker 2>said to him, make sure you keep eye contact with me.

1:09:38.320 --> 1:09:40.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, I really like how she's going from Starbucks

1:09:40.560 --> 1:09:41.920
<v Speaker 1>straight to like strip.

1:09:42.320 --> 1:09:45.360
<v Speaker 2>He stripped down. His body was beautiful, every muscle so defined,

1:09:45.400 --> 1:09:48.680
<v Speaker 2>his dick was smaller than I expected. I laughed. He

1:09:48.840 --> 1:09:51.519
<v Speaker 2>liked it, and I could notice him smile as I laughed.

1:09:51.880 --> 1:09:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I walked up to him and grabbed his penis what

1:09:54.320 --> 1:09:57.120
<v Speaker 2>the fuck is this all this body? And where's the

1:09:57.160 --> 1:10:01.040
<v Speaker 2>rest of this cock? He smiled and shrugged. Okay, so

1:10:01.120 --> 1:10:03.679
<v Speaker 2>he is a sub got it. Get down on your knees,

1:10:03.680 --> 1:10:06.000
<v Speaker 2>you little slut. As he got down on his knees,

1:10:06.040 --> 1:10:07.840
<v Speaker 2>I grabbed his chin and made him look up at me,

1:10:08.080 --> 1:10:10.479
<v Speaker 2>stick my fingers inside of his mouth and made him suck.

1:10:10.800 --> 1:10:13.519
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna be my little bitch today and obey every

1:10:13.680 --> 1:10:16.840
<v Speaker 2>single command. If you are a good little bitch, then

1:10:16.840 --> 1:10:19.160
<v Speaker 2>I will fuck the shit out of you. Then I

1:10:19.160 --> 1:10:22.720
<v Speaker 2>will fuck the shit out of your tight asshole. His

1:10:22.800 --> 1:10:25.960
<v Speaker 2>eyes widened and with joy, and he choked on my

1:10:26.000 --> 1:10:28.800
<v Speaker 2>fingers and teared up. Stay on your knees and rust

1:10:28.840 --> 1:10:31.880
<v Speaker 2>your head on my bed. Put your arms behind your back.

1:10:32.120 --> 1:10:35.559
<v Speaker 2>I handcuffed his hands together. Now hold still, this is

1:10:35.600 --> 1:10:42.640
<v Speaker 2>gonna sting, a little, not a little bit sting. I

1:10:42.720 --> 1:10:45.719
<v Speaker 2>dripped candle wax down his muscular back. His muscles flinched,

1:10:45.760 --> 1:10:48.360
<v Speaker 2>but he did not move. He let out small moans

1:10:48.560 --> 1:10:51.479
<v Speaker 2>with every drop, watching the wax harden on his back

1:10:51.920 --> 1:10:54.840
<v Speaker 2>was It was turning me on way more. My God.

1:10:54.840 --> 1:10:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I suddenly had an idea. I needed to save this

1:10:57.200 --> 1:11:01.040
<v Speaker 2>memory forever. I asked him for consent to record our session.

1:11:02.120 --> 1:11:04.759
<v Speaker 2>Can you send the video? I need to see this video.

1:11:06.120 --> 1:11:11.680
<v Speaker 2>You know who you are. Send the video. He consented,

1:11:11.760 --> 1:11:14.720
<v Speaker 2>and so I invited my roommate into film us. He

1:11:14.840 --> 1:11:17.839
<v Speaker 2>was elated. He grabbed my digital camera and was getting

1:11:17.920 --> 1:11:20.880
<v Speaker 2>all the angles digital camera with my roommate in the room,

1:11:20.960 --> 1:11:24.280
<v Speaker 2>the music pumping. Fine, This fine ass man at my fingertips,

1:11:24.400 --> 1:11:27.240
<v Speaker 2>This fine ass man at my fingertips, ready for me

1:11:27.280 --> 1:11:29.840
<v Speaker 2>to use and abuse him. I felt high. I needed

1:11:29.840 --> 1:11:34.120
<v Speaker 2>that ass right now. He got on all fours. I

1:11:34.160 --> 1:11:37.280
<v Speaker 2>made him look straight into the camera and prepare for entry.

1:11:37.800 --> 1:11:41.120
<v Speaker 2>His mouth was watering it. I looped up his ass

1:11:41.360 --> 1:11:44.519
<v Speaker 2>and rubbed a loub all over my dildo. I traced

1:11:44.520 --> 1:11:46.920
<v Speaker 2>his crack with my dick and rolled the tip around

1:11:46.960 --> 1:11:52.040
<v Speaker 2>his asshole. His body quivered. I started to push my

1:11:52.080 --> 1:11:55.200
<v Speaker 2>dildo into his ass and he let out a deep breath.

1:11:55.479 --> 1:11:57.880
<v Speaker 2>My clip jumped and I felt the wolf inside me.

1:11:58.320 --> 1:12:03.400
<v Speaker 2>How ooh. My friend made eye contact with me from

1:12:03.439 --> 1:12:07.040
<v Speaker 2>behind the camera and he says, Oh, he likes it.

1:12:07.560 --> 1:12:09.479
<v Speaker 2>He had a great view of my little bitch's face

1:12:10.439 --> 1:12:12.639
<v Speaker 2>and him. Being a gay man, he knew when a gig,

1:12:12.680 --> 1:12:16.519
<v Speaker 2>when a guy was enjoying that ass. Fuck. Oh, oh

1:12:16.560 --> 1:12:20.799
<v Speaker 2>my god, this is so long. Wait this is okay, girl,

1:12:21.080 --> 1:12:25.479
<v Speaker 2>hold on, we might have just skip through some of this. Okay,

1:12:25.520 --> 1:12:28.880
<v Speaker 2>where's the howling? Okay, he loved the feed by way.

1:12:28.880 --> 1:12:31.439
<v Speaker 2>Wait wait wait wait, I continued to where is she

1:12:31.520 --> 1:12:34.559
<v Speaker 2>gonna dildo this? Quickly I switched positions and made my

1:12:34.600 --> 1:12:36.439
<v Speaker 2>little bitch get on top to ride me, and I

1:12:36.520 --> 1:12:38.800
<v Speaker 2>rubbed his on his chest and complimented how sexy he

1:12:38.800 --> 1:12:41.400
<v Speaker 2>looked riding me. He looked, he looked. He loved the

1:12:41.439 --> 1:12:44.000
<v Speaker 2>feedback in the dirty talk. It was so intense and passionate.

1:12:44.200 --> 1:12:46.800
<v Speaker 2>We made heavy eye contact as he grinned deeper into

1:12:47.120 --> 1:12:58.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, Jesus, not grinned, Yeah, grinded deeper. It is yeah,

1:12:58.280 --> 1:13:00.640
<v Speaker 2>this is I don't know, this is you like this

1:13:00.760 --> 1:13:04.519
<v Speaker 2>kind of porn? Though? Don't you pegging porn? No? Not really, no, okay,

1:13:04.640 --> 1:13:06.400
<v Speaker 2>because this is not turning me on. I don't like

1:13:06.439 --> 1:13:09.760
<v Speaker 2>pegging porn. I like like bisexuals as part of it

1:13:09.800 --> 1:13:14.040
<v Speaker 2>is like the definitely like the little bitchness of it all. Okay.

1:13:14.080 --> 1:13:15.760
<v Speaker 2>I fucked him slow and told him I want to

1:13:15.760 --> 1:13:19.080
<v Speaker 2>see him shoot his load on his chest, fucking him hard,

1:13:19.120 --> 1:13:21.840
<v Speaker 2>stroking his cock fast, looking him in his eyes as

1:13:21.840 --> 1:13:24.040
<v Speaker 2>I told him, you're such a good slut, talking all

1:13:24.080 --> 1:13:26.120
<v Speaker 2>the dick, taking all the dicks like a good boy.

1:13:26.880 --> 1:13:30.799
<v Speaker 2>Can't wait to find out who this is. I stroked

1:13:30.800 --> 1:13:33.519
<v Speaker 2>along with the rhythm and started to moan. He shot

1:13:33.520 --> 1:13:35.719
<v Speaker 2>his load and hid it all over his own face.

1:13:35.800 --> 1:13:38.559
<v Speaker 2>I screamed in ecstasy, mind blown that we had just

1:13:38.640 --> 1:13:41.519
<v Speaker 2>come together on the first time fucking. We all let

1:13:41.560 --> 1:13:43.599
<v Speaker 2>out a laugh and a huge breath. I looked over

1:13:43.680 --> 1:13:46.160
<v Speaker 2>and asked my roommate, did you get that on camera?

1:13:47.640 --> 1:13:53.360
<v Speaker 2>All of it? He said, what a downass roommate. Oh wow,

1:13:54.600 --> 1:13:59.240
<v Speaker 2>that's a good roommate. Oh god, the story gets worse.

1:13:59.400 --> 1:14:01.519
<v Speaker 2>There's more. Wait, let me just read this last part.

1:14:05.280 --> 1:14:08.479
<v Speaker 2>Oh god wait. I let the man go shower while

1:14:08.479 --> 1:14:10.519
<v Speaker 2>my roomy and I sat on the bed and shook

1:14:10.560 --> 1:14:13.000
<v Speaker 2>our head, blown away by what had just went down.

1:14:13.640 --> 1:14:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I knew then that Peggy was one of my all

1:14:15.840 --> 1:14:18.080
<v Speaker 2>time favorite things, and I was hooked on the power

1:14:18.080 --> 1:14:20.439
<v Speaker 2>it gave me. I showed that video to anyone who

1:14:20.439 --> 1:14:24.599
<v Speaker 2>would watch. Eventually, my backpack got stolen with my laptop

1:14:24.640 --> 1:14:27.720
<v Speaker 2>and camera in it. I wonder if whoever stole it

1:14:27.720 --> 1:14:30.360
<v Speaker 2>got to see that video. I'd love to run across

1:14:30.400 --> 1:14:32.880
<v Speaker 2>it on some porn sites someday. Deaf great homemade film.

1:14:33.160 --> 1:14:35.840
<v Speaker 2>The best part about the story. About seven years after this,

1:14:35.920 --> 1:14:38.439
<v Speaker 2>I was a company Christmas party for my friend's work.

1:14:38.920 --> 1:14:41.519
<v Speaker 2>I was sipping a beer panting the room, and a

1:14:41.560 --> 1:14:44.960
<v Speaker 2>tall man caught my attention. His back was turned towards me,

1:14:45.040 --> 1:14:48.000
<v Speaker 2>but something about the back of his head looked familiar.

1:14:48.680 --> 1:14:51.799
<v Speaker 2>He turned around and boom, it was my little bitch.

1:14:52.479 --> 1:14:55.160
<v Speaker 2>We made a quick eye contact, and I got so

1:14:55.280 --> 1:14:57.599
<v Speaker 2>flushed I had to turn around quickly. My friend noticed

1:14:57.600 --> 1:15:00.439
<v Speaker 2>my energy shift and asked what was wrong. Told her

1:15:00.520 --> 1:15:03.000
<v Speaker 2>that that guy over there was the first guy I pegged,

1:15:03.040 --> 1:15:06.640
<v Speaker 2>and she was like Jason. She happened to work with

1:15:06.680 --> 1:15:10.240
<v Speaker 2>his wife and daughter. I noticed they had left shortly

1:15:10.280 --> 1:15:12.439
<v Speaker 2>after we made eye contact, and never saw my little

1:15:12.439 --> 1:15:15.679
<v Speaker 2>bitch again. But I have made men my bitch since,

1:15:16.000 --> 1:15:20.639
<v Speaker 2>and they were always very grateful. How many bitches men?

1:15:21.680 --> 1:15:24.040
<v Speaker 2>She has since made other men her bitch? Oh wow?

1:15:24.240 --> 1:15:26.840
<v Speaker 2>You know? And they were always grateful for her for

1:15:26.960 --> 1:15:27.799
<v Speaker 2>her guidance.

1:15:27.960 --> 1:15:31.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's the story of one determined bitch who was

1:15:31.320 --> 1:15:32.880
<v Speaker 1>going to figure out if that was her kinkin.

1:15:33.120 --> 1:15:35.679
<v Speaker 2>I did not read that first. Before reading, I also

1:15:35.680 --> 1:15:38.800
<v Speaker 2>didn't know how long it was. It was a novel. Wow,

1:15:38.880 --> 1:15:41.519
<v Speaker 2>that was that's that's our first pegging. Oh no, it

1:15:41.600 --> 1:15:46.400
<v Speaker 2>was on second second pegging. We had one on Juneteenth.

1:15:46.439 --> 1:15:49.639
<v Speaker 2>I'll never forget that one. That was a very important one.

1:15:50.439 --> 1:15:52.360
<v Speaker 2>So that's it. That was it for our horror stories.

1:15:52.840 --> 1:15:54.519
<v Speaker 2>And if you have horror stories that you'd like to

1:15:54.520 --> 1:15:57.160
<v Speaker 2>share on the show, please please message them. We need

1:15:57.200 --> 1:16:01.679
<v Speaker 2>more horries. We need good juice, well written short horries,

1:16:01.760 --> 1:16:08.559
<v Speaker 2>like maybe like three paragraphs maximum. Send them to production

1:16:08.760 --> 1:16:13.559
<v Speaker 2>at Good Mom's Bad Choices. Subject line, subject line horries.

1:16:15.479 --> 1:16:21.400
<v Speaker 2>Mm hm, so I think that's a wrap, my friend. Yeah, ready,

1:16:21.560 --> 1:16:28.439
<v Speaker 2>you're ready. I'm gonna go do yoga yoga. I'm gonna

1:16:28.439 --> 1:16:30.840
<v Speaker 2>go do heatd yoga, drink alcohol water. What do you

1:16:30.840 --> 1:16:32.320
<v Speaker 2>go to heat yoga? In short?

1:16:32.360 --> 1:16:32.639
<v Speaker 3>Oaks?

1:16:33.760 --> 1:16:36.519
<v Speaker 2>A few different ones, different ones.

1:16:36.920 --> 1:16:40.760
<v Speaker 1>I gotta be like, okay, Colon, tell our location, which

1:16:40.760 --> 1:16:41.400
<v Speaker 1>specific one?

1:16:41.479 --> 1:16:46.559
<v Speaker 2>What time? My teacher? Anyone know our general vicinity? I

1:16:46.600 --> 1:16:50.920
<v Speaker 2>live in Alabama, guys, I actually don't live here. Well,

1:16:50.960 --> 1:16:53.720
<v Speaker 2>this has been nice. I love you. I love you.

1:16:54.560 --> 1:16:56.840
<v Speaker 2>I love you very much. I love you very much too.

1:16:57.280 --> 1:17:03.560
<v Speaker 2>And you're beautiful. You can have the best birthday ever. Whoa, whoa,

1:17:03.880 --> 1:17:06.759
<v Speaker 2>wait a fine ass friend thirty something here I come.

1:17:07.320 --> 1:17:11.360
<v Speaker 2>She's so fun. Oh my god, thank you. I'm excited

1:17:11.400 --> 1:17:15.160
<v Speaker 2>for my birthday. It's it's good. It's life. I'm just

1:17:15.520 --> 1:17:18.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm getting better, bitch, I know I'm getting better. I'm not.

1:17:20.000 --> 1:17:23.280
<v Speaker 2>I know I'm getting better. And it's it's crazy. I

1:17:23.320 --> 1:17:25.120
<v Speaker 2>think it's just more so like thinking about the more

1:17:25.240 --> 1:17:28.080
<v Speaker 2>moral mortality of life. I've been thinking about more, like damn,

1:17:28.120 --> 1:17:30.960
<v Speaker 2>it's really short. It is short, and the bigger scheme

1:17:31.000 --> 1:17:34.320
<v Speaker 2>of things. That's sure being pleasure the whole time. Yeah,

1:17:34.479 --> 1:17:36.479
<v Speaker 2>it's too short to be like mad about you. You

1:17:36.479 --> 1:17:38.880
<v Speaker 2>don't even know why you're mad. Just be like, be happy.

1:17:39.160 --> 1:17:41.240
<v Speaker 2>This is the best ship ever. We're living a dream.

1:17:41.320 --> 1:17:43.800
<v Speaker 2>We're like, fight it for it. Yeah, fight to live.

1:17:43.800 --> 1:17:46.040
<v Speaker 1>If I'm gonna fight to be happy, to be healthy,

1:17:46.160 --> 1:17:48.800
<v Speaker 1>to be happy and be having fucking fun, I'm gonna

1:17:48.800 --> 1:17:49.880
<v Speaker 1>fight for that ship because I.

1:17:49.800 --> 1:17:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Don't we don't know. It's a short.

1:17:51.600 --> 1:17:56.519
<v Speaker 1>Span and hopefully like that radiates, you know, to our friends, circle,

1:17:56.600 --> 1:17:58.080
<v Speaker 1>to our kids.

1:17:57.560 --> 1:17:59.840
<v Speaker 2>Like you gotta live a little. You gotta live a

1:17:59.840 --> 1:18:03.120
<v Speaker 2>lot every second, all day, every day.

1:18:03.240 --> 1:18:06.000
<v Speaker 1>Babe out what makes you happy for real and do

1:18:06.120 --> 1:18:08.840
<v Speaker 1>that whatever it takes.

1:18:10.160 --> 1:18:15.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm a motherfucking philosopher. And on that note, DJ Jam

1:18:15.800 --> 1:18:25.160
<v Speaker 2>Jam DJJ jam J Jam Pepe and Jam. Well, guys,

1:18:25.280 --> 1:18:28.439
<v Speaker 2>make sure you go follow us on YouTube if you

1:18:28.479 --> 1:18:32.960
<v Speaker 2>haven't watched this episode. We're fine. We all we do

1:18:33.040 --> 1:18:35.080
<v Speaker 2>look cute today, we're looking cute. I feel like I'm

1:18:35.120 --> 1:18:36.519
<v Speaker 2>like comfy comfy cash.

1:18:36.560 --> 1:18:39.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was kind of overcast today.

1:18:39.680 --> 1:18:41.400
<v Speaker 2>How do we always get the same memo? Are we

1:18:41.400 --> 1:18:44.360
<v Speaker 2>both wearing baggy pants? And like we're Beyonce House of

1:18:44.439 --> 1:18:44.840
<v Speaker 2>Dairy on.

1:18:45.439 --> 1:18:48.400
<v Speaker 1>We have the House of Dairy on fucking alert system.

1:18:48.640 --> 1:18:50.760
<v Speaker 1>It's built in alert system. It doesn't matter what. We

1:18:51.040 --> 1:18:54.040
<v Speaker 1>never discussed what we're wearing. It always goes together.

1:18:54.120 --> 1:18:56.240
<v Speaker 2>Though. Every time someone the other day was like, did

1:18:56.240 --> 1:18:58.040
<v Speaker 2>you guys plan this cheetah look, I was like, no,

1:18:58.680 --> 1:19:01.960
<v Speaker 2>we didn't. No, Like what do you think? I fucking

1:19:02.000 --> 1:19:02.519
<v Speaker 2>called her and.

1:19:02.520 --> 1:19:04.920
<v Speaker 1>Said, hey, you're gonna you're gonna work out of dinner?

1:19:04.960 --> 1:19:06.439
<v Speaker 1>So what are you gonna wear you're gonna rear treat

1:19:06.439 --> 1:19:07.879
<v Speaker 1>a print O me too crazy?

1:19:08.240 --> 1:19:10.200
<v Speaker 2>What the fuck would we look like doing that? That'd

1:19:10.200 --> 1:19:14.080
<v Speaker 2>be crazy? Oh my goodness. Anyway falls on YouTube. Also

1:19:14.120 --> 1:19:16.920
<v Speaker 2>go check out our retreat. We just launched two more

1:19:16.960 --> 1:19:20.040
<v Speaker 2>retreats in Coasta, Rica, So come hang out with your

1:19:20.080 --> 1:19:25.439
<v Speaker 2>girls in February twenty twenty three and get chose natal

1:19:25.520 --> 1:19:29.880
<v Speaker 2>chart reds. Do some healing, do some toerking, do some explorations,

1:19:30.760 --> 1:19:34.840
<v Speaker 2>hang out with us. Eat healthy, eat healthy, get better,

1:19:34.920 --> 1:19:38.800
<v Speaker 2>feel better, look better, find friends. I just want like

1:19:38.800 --> 1:19:40.920
<v Speaker 2>people look better too. Do you want to get like

1:19:40.960 --> 1:19:45.839
<v Speaker 2>a real quick fine? Uh? Boast? It is I retreat.

1:19:47.200 --> 1:19:50.800
<v Speaker 2>I retreat like botas, it's like health. It's it's botox

1:19:50.800 --> 1:19:53.759
<v Speaker 2>of the whole spirit. It's like juvenidi for your life.

1:19:53.800 --> 1:19:55.280
<v Speaker 2>It's Juvedim for your spirit.

1:19:56.479 --> 1:20:01.200
<v Speaker 1>And like unlimited syringes for five days.

1:20:00.200 --> 1:20:01.800
<v Speaker 2>So many syringers, but they don't hurt.

1:20:02.479 --> 1:20:06.200
<v Speaker 1>The non surgical botax of Costa Rica is so crazy.

1:20:06.479 --> 1:20:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I came back looking eight years younger. Yeah, then the

1:20:09.000 --> 1:20:11.200
<v Speaker 2>effects last we like at least six months.

1:20:11.439 --> 1:20:13.400
<v Speaker 1>If you go to the jungle and just nestle your

1:20:13.400 --> 1:20:15.560
<v Speaker 1>feet in, you'll get so beautiful.

1:20:15.640 --> 1:20:20.479
<v Speaker 2>Look young again. Just lay in the sun for five minutes.

1:20:21.240 --> 1:20:25.240
<v Speaker 2>Costa Rica is plastic surgery. Fuck plastic surgery. You go

1:20:25.280 --> 1:20:27.479
<v Speaker 2>to Costa Rica. Fuck doc to Miami. You only need

1:20:27.520 --> 1:20:31.960
<v Speaker 2>Costa Rica. Honestly, I do look sexier there. Absolutely me too.

1:20:32.080 --> 1:20:37.599
<v Speaker 2>I'm moisturized immediately, I'm hydrated. I'm happy. I'm like I'm moving. Yeah,

1:20:38.000 --> 1:20:41.559
<v Speaker 2>I'm just moving, you know. An I clicked the link

1:20:41.600 --> 1:20:44.759
<v Speaker 2>in this episode description to check out your to book

1:20:44.800 --> 1:20:46.840
<v Speaker 2>your next Botox Costa.

1:20:46.640 --> 1:20:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Rica Surgical box trip, and check out our Patreon to

1:20:53.040 --> 1:20:55.320
<v Speaker 1>be on our close friends and be included in our

1:20:55.360 --> 1:20:57.800
<v Speaker 1>Discord community. There's a lot of things happening over there.

1:20:58.080 --> 1:21:00.760
<v Speaker 1>They're doing some fellas, there's there's a lot of things

1:21:00.760 --> 1:21:01.400
<v Speaker 1>going on this show.

1:21:01.400 --> 1:21:03.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, you've heard us talk about Discord a few

1:21:03.120 --> 1:21:04.800
<v Speaker 2>times on this episode. If you don't know what it is,

1:21:04.840 --> 1:21:07.759
<v Speaker 2>it's a community over there, So download the app, click

1:21:07.840 --> 1:21:10.320
<v Speaker 2>the link for Patreon, and we'll add you to our

1:21:10.320 --> 1:21:13.840
<v Speaker 2>Discord which is very much popping and they're fine friends

1:21:13.880 --> 1:21:17.320
<v Speaker 2>in your city, like minded people. There's a lot going on.

1:21:17.400 --> 1:21:20.000
<v Speaker 2>It's been The horri section on Discord has been going

1:21:20.080 --> 1:21:21.519
<v Speaker 2>nuts this week. I don't know if you've seen it,

1:21:21.520 --> 1:21:24.920
<v Speaker 2>it's shifted. There's a shift in the horrist section on discord.

1:21:25.000 --> 1:21:28.240
<v Speaker 2>I just think I saw a little bit. I was like, whoa, Okay,

1:21:28.360 --> 1:21:30.479
<v Speaker 2>we don't need Yoni xx no more. Huh.

1:21:31.120 --> 1:21:33.040
<v Speaker 1>They said, we're gonna get it in an all shut

1:21:33.120 --> 1:21:35.960
<v Speaker 1>and whatever when it sounds a little bit xx.

1:21:37.120 --> 1:21:40.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Anyway, we love you guys, and we'll

1:21:40.439 --> 1:21:41.320
<v Speaker 2>see you next week.

1:21:41.560 --> 1:22:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Bye bye.

1:22:00.720 --> 1:22:03.680
<v Speaker 2>Likes Yo Ellena J.

1:22:04.280 --> 1:22:08.280
<v Speaker 1>Solova record the Lallos and Elasti.

1:22:08.360 --> 1:22:16.120
<v Speaker 2>They asked, mm hmm,