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Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica

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Speaker 1: and I'm Mela.

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Speaker 2: And it's Wednesday. It's Wednesday, it's wet, it's weird. Okay. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: I know I can sing better than that because you

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Speaker 2: saw my singing kills on the Jessica Rowes episode. Everyone

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Speaker 2: saw it. They said, wow, once the album's dropping, they did,

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Speaker 2: They fucking did. They were like, whoa iout expecting that.

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Speaker 2: They like thought I was about to like pull some

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Speaker 2: bullshit and they were like, whoa bitch, I can't really sing.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, duh, I'm just gonna keep the

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Speaker 1: conversation going that.

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Speaker 2: The Wednesday that was that was me just fucking around.

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Speaker 2: That was me trolling you. Oh okay, but if it's

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Speaker 2: oh my god, what a Wednesday? Wow?

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Speaker 1: What have we done to deserve all of this this Wednesday? Wow?

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Speaker 2: I drink a lot of water today, guys, so I'm

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Speaker 2: feeling really healthy. I'm on my first day of my waterfast.

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Speaker 2: Oh so it's just water, water and tea for how long?

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Speaker 2: Last time? I did five days. I'm gonna prob, you're

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Speaker 2: just gonna drink water and tea for five days. I

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Speaker 2: did it last time that you're drinking some juices or something.

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Speaker 2: Then I went to juice. So you start water and

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Speaker 2: tea for how many days? First of all, I want

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Speaker 2: to tell people, I'm not a health professional. This you die,

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Speaker 2: you pass out, it's not my fucking problem. This works

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 1: Now if you pass out, it's not my fucking problem.

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Speaker 2: I because people always ask me, like, when did your routine?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you don't want my routine. It's not good.

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Speaker 2: It's not I don't know if it's healthy. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if it's worth works for people, and it works

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Speaker 2: for me. So it's water and tea, and then what

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Speaker 2: it's water and tea for five days. I also do

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Speaker 2: heated yoga during this time because I'm not sure to

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Speaker 2: pass out, because I want to pass out a little bit,

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Speaker 2: because you're not really doing anything unless you're passing out

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Speaker 2: a little bit. And then I go into juicing for

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Speaker 2: five days maybe seven, and then from there I eat

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Speaker 2: raw for like three days and then I go vegetarian.

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Speaker 2: So this is a a two week. My birthday is

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Speaker 2: in like two weeks. I want to do you want

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Speaker 2: to die on your birthday? I want to be fucking snatched. Okay,

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Speaker 2: but you're not gonna drink on your birthday. So if

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Speaker 2: you drink only water, that's by the time I eat food,

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Speaker 2: I'll be eating food by then. Okay, But you know,

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Speaker 2: the last time I did this past I realized how

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Speaker 2: like I don't really need to eat, Like how food

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Speaker 2: is really annoying.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, I agree, food is really annoying. I'm addicted to

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Speaker 1: it because there's they sprink a little bit of crack

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Speaker 1: in it in America, for sure, they're sprinking a little

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Speaker 1: bit of like addictive crack or something very addictive and

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Speaker 1: harmful to your body.

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Speaker 2: Not addictive crack. I'm pretty sure crack itself is just addicted.

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Speaker 2: It's extra.

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Speaker 1: It's extra extra, some extra credatives to the crack, for sure,

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Speaker 1: because I go to the supermarket and my body doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel good about it, Like I'm like buying stuff because

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Speaker 1: I'm used to it, but I also know.

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Speaker 2: It's absolute bullshit.

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Speaker 1: Like have you ever had something sitting in your like

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Speaker 1: your refrigerator too long and then you're like, this is

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Speaker 1: not food.

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Speaker 2: There's no way this is I literally just opened up

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Speaker 2: Hawaiian bread that's been sitting in my cabinet, not even

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Speaker 2: in the refrigerator and the cabinet for at least forty

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Speaker 2: five days. You know, not one mold. Do you know

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Speaker 2: how much plastic hasted be in our shit? And I

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Speaker 2: definitely put in my daughter's lunch today, I know, I

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Speaker 2: did the same thing. She's like, I want takis.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is sugar and salt. Sure, it's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Even I bought some bananas and I don't know if

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Speaker 1: they were not organic, but they were green, so I

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Speaker 1: had time for them to like ripen. They like stayed

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Speaker 1: green but still ripened. I was like, this is not real.

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Speaker 1: None of this shit is real. I'm really I'm stressed

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Speaker 1: about it, but I think maybe I need to stop

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Speaker 1: eating too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I know when I was on like day five

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Speaker 2: of the water like around the last day at my

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Speaker 2: water fast, I was like, because I was going to

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Speaker 2: go from water back to like maybe vegetarian, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, I'm good, what day is today? Oh? Day

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Speaker 2: is one? I'm just like glad. I was just like

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Speaker 2: the day four or five. I don't know if anyone's

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Speaker 2: ever done a water fast, but I literally felt like

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Speaker 2: I was becoming enlightened, Like something in my brain started

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Speaker 2: shifting true and I felt something change in my brain

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Speaker 2: like less foggy, less like super clear, almost like more joyful,

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Speaker 2: and then just like hat more patient. Just I literally

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Speaker 2: felt like Buddha a little bit. I was like, is

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Speaker 2: this like the makings of Buddha? Water is the makings

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Speaker 2: of Buddha. That's why I always say people going fast,

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Speaker 2: that's true, but like you do have spiritual experiences when

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Speaker 2: you fast, and every religion, no matter what religion, niggas

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Speaker 2: be fasting. I really felt that way and then and

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Speaker 2: then I really do like when I started to incorporate food,

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Speaker 2: I was almost like hesitant. I was like, bitch, you

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Speaker 2: have to eat, but I was like, not to, I

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Speaker 2: don't really want to. I was like my body was

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Speaker 2: so pure, and then I did. I trashed the fuck

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Speaker 2: out of my body after that, like I think right

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Speaker 2: after that, went to New Orleans.

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Speaker 1: Bitch, I really want I really if anyone knows the

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Speaker 1: gangster gardener, I really want him to come on our

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Speaker 1: show because we need to start a garden.

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Speaker 2: Bitch. I know I have a whole backyard. I know,

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Speaker 2: why don't we have a garden. Why don't feel like

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Speaker 2: we're eating corn from God knows where? But yeah, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I'm doing my fast because my birthday is coming

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Speaker 2: and this tour and just the past month, I've just

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Speaker 2: been just not taking care of myself. And I feel

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Speaker 2: it every time my body does this to me, it

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Speaker 2: starts screaming at me, my insides her it feels like

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Speaker 2: they're on fire. I'm irritating.

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Speaker 1: It's really hard to take care. It's hard to take

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Speaker 1: care of yourself when you're moving as quickly as we're moving,

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Speaker 1: like in Costa Rica. It's easier because we're eating real

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Speaker 1: foods because in Costa Rica they don't poison their people

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Speaker 1: with the cracked and plastic, so like coming back here

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Speaker 1: is always like a terrible adjustment to the plastic American food.

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Speaker 2: Did they feed us? So I feel you? And also, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we just got back from a tour.

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Speaker 1: We've only been back a week, right, we've been back

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Speaker 1: a week, and we were gone for eleven days and

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Speaker 1: we went to five cities in eleven days. And yo,

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Speaker 1: I've thought that I was a rock star, but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a rapper like I thought I had all

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Speaker 1: the makings of like a super rock star.

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Speaker 2: But I think you do, I think I don't. I

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Speaker 2: think I watched you. I watched you rockstar your life away,

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Speaker 2: and I had to take intermediate breaks. I had to

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Speaker 2: take some intermediate breaks, and then I felt weird at

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Speaker 2: one time, at the very end, it was like, what's wrong.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know, but I want to cry.

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Speaker 2: She was like, are you sad? I was like maybe.

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Speaker 2: I was like I don't know. She's like, I'm worried

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Speaker 2: about you. I was like, don't be and then like

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Speaker 2: a few days later she's like, I'm I think I'm

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Speaker 2: cracking too. I cracked, you know what, Just I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's like if all this adrenaline built up about what

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Speaker 1: you're about to do, and we did. We had so

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Speaker 1: much adrenaline. We literally wrote the show the day of

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Speaker 1: the show, like the first day on Chicago we had

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Speaker 1: no show. We just were like, I think we should

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Speaker 1: come up with the show now. We had like makings

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Speaker 1: of a show. And then finally the day of the

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Speaker 1: Chicago show, not like the day before.

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Speaker 2: The day of. But that's how we work. That is

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Speaker 2: we work.

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Speaker 1: We work well under pressure, which I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's good for our mental health.

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Speaker 2: It's not. It's really not. And then like we got

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Speaker 2: into a fight.

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Speaker 1: There was We got into like a little like we

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Speaker 1: gotta a look caddy with each other because I was like.

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Speaker 2: We need to go through that. Oh yeah you did.

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Speaker 2: I don't like the way you talked to me. I

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Speaker 2: think I'm tired of your fucking facial expression adopted from

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Speaker 2: your fucking boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: It was, you know what, we we work well under pressure,

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Speaker 1: but we also may kill each other in the process.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, and there's a lot happening.

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Speaker 2: A lot happened.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you realize a lot happened in

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Speaker 1: the whirlwind of.

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Speaker 2: This the situation. What I mean with you, like you

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Speaker 2: had you were dealing with a lot of ship. A

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Speaker 2: lot of ship popped up.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why right now we have a ship to do.

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Speaker 1: I'm like trying to be a supportive friend. I also

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Speaker 1: want to curse you out because we need to have

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Speaker 1: a show. I was like, if I go on stage

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Speaker 1: night and I don't know ship, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Gonna blame you. If I go up there and I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 1: Shit, I'm gonna blame you. And there wasn't There were

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Speaker 1: a few moments. I was just like, I forgot but

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Speaker 1: nobody noticed. I mean, there was we were, you know what.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to us for having a very honest show

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Speaker 1: because you can't really catch it slipping because we're gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I got to pee up, be right back, y'all.

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Speaker 2: She literally left me on stage to go pee. She

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Speaker 2: was like, I gotta go.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I got a peep, be your back.

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Speaker 1: Like where in America you ever gone to a show?

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Speaker 1: And the bitch said, she has to be. I'm about

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Speaker 1: to sing this song, but give me one moment.

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Speaker 2: I gotta take a bath. But overall, the show was amazing,

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Speaker 2: even though we made it at the last minute.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of times throughout the show I was

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Speaker 1: just like, we're crazy.

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Speaker 2: I was like, we're ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: There's a time in phil Every show is special, but

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Speaker 1: there was like a time in Philly where our guests

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Speaker 1: didn't get the memother were coming out yet, probably because

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Speaker 1: we didn't tell them because we're telling too many things.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, it's okay, let's just dance a

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Speaker 1: little bit.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember. Yeah. I was like, Oh, she's not

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Speaker 2: here yet, don't worry. I know because I can see

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Speaker 2: or Lando go run to the back to go fetch her.

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Speaker 2: And then I saw her with her sub on a

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Speaker 2: leash walk walking. I was like, they're coming, They're coming,

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Speaker 2: this up, Marley's coming, Okay. I was like, but in

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Speaker 2: the meantime, just look at this dance move I can.

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Speaker 1: Do like like a grown ass kid, like, look, mom, look.

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Speaker 2: I put on this new outphit literally I was like, wow,

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Speaker 2: this is crazy, ridiculous of us. But it was great.

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Speaker 2: It was great. We had, our guests were amazing. I

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Speaker 2: feel like every city had had its own special little

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Speaker 2: twist and shout out to Tyomi and Chicago, so marvelous

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Speaker 2: in Philly, wait, you know New York's Marley and Philly

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Speaker 2: baby Mava and Cocktails in Atlanta and so Maaya in

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Speaker 2: DC sexual aka Sexual Dot Essentials. Like it was just

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Speaker 2: all perfect. It was really perfect. It was really perfect.

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Speaker 2: And man, and then like selling out certain cities while

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Speaker 2: we're on the road, Like I just I just can't

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Speaker 2: believe we sold out cities in cities I don't know people,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what I know. I was like, wow, you're crazy.

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Speaker 1: You like me, huh, that's so cool, that's so cool,

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Speaker 1: that's so cool. I was really like pretty, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like not overwhelmed. But like, first I was very nervous.

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Speaker 1: I said it like four hundred times. I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: had listened, and I was like, I'm so nervous. And

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Speaker 1: then I kept telling Erica. I'm like, it doesn't matter

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Speaker 1: how nervous I am.

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Speaker 2: We have to do it. I was like, no matter what,

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Speaker 2: I still have to do it. Yeah, And then we

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Speaker 2: did it in h City.

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Speaker 1: It got easier and easier, and I get more confident,

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Speaker 1: and I still fucked up sometimes, but it was still

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Speaker 1: like it was the best, like the best.

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Speaker 2: I cursed out somebody on stage. She sure did, Yeah

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Speaker 2: she did.

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Speaker 1: I was like, this, bitch, we'll get attacked even if

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Speaker 1: I'm on stage.

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Speaker 2: I don't care. I didn't know. I saw there was

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Speaker 2: an attack happening, but I was like she just I thought,

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Speaker 2: like spirit touched you, and like spirit like just compelled

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Speaker 2: you to like just go in. I was like, so

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Speaker 2: she's gone, She's gone preacher mode.

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Speaker 1: It was just a bitch in the audience. I know,

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Speaker 1: a regular bitch in the audience, one bad seed who

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Speaker 1: wasn't even supposed.

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Speaker 2: To be there. I know, why the fuck did? She

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Speaker 2: was a weird, strange energy.

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Speaker 1: When when Missus Marley came on stage with her sub

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Speaker 1: I could just see. I just zoomed and then there

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Speaker 1: was the bitch in the front and she was like, ah,

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Speaker 1: this is wrong, this is wrong. Erica was like mid sentence,

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is consensual and if you don't

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Speaker 1: like it, I stood up out of my seat like

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Speaker 1: you can.

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Speaker 2: Get the fuck out. She literally creeped up like a.

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Speaker 2: I saw her like creep crawl, and her next started

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Speaker 2: thing you know, I get, and I was like whoa.

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Speaker 1: I got like very feline like, like I was gonna

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Speaker 1: pounce into the audience because I maybe would have, but

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Speaker 1: I don't want to embarrass us, so I continued the

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Speaker 1: show right after I nipped it in the butt. And

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Speaker 1: then the bitch tried to like participate later and raise

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Speaker 1: her hand and I was like, nah, bitch, you don't

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Speaker 1: even You're never supposed to be here. You lucky to

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Speaker 1: get kicked out. But security a security.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember us walking through like the kitchen and

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Speaker 2: her lingerie? Like the security. I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: we as professional stars. We got the curney that Securtie

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Speaker 2: couldn't do shit. If anything went down, he did. I

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Speaker 2: just don't know how we thought we were ever gonna

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Speaker 2: have him makeup ARTISTO or makeup in any city. It

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Speaker 2: would make it like I don't know who were thought.

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Speaker 2: We were like as far as planning goes, like it

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Speaker 2: didn't matter how early we got to sound check. We

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Speaker 2: were barely making it by a thread to the stage

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Speaker 2: on time.

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Speaker 1: Every time, every single time there rest at a time.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, at some point in this tour, we have

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Speaker 1: got to be on time. And you know, poor Orlando,

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Speaker 1: not only to we like caddy out each other, but

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Speaker 1: then we bring Orlando into the mix, poor thing. We're

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Speaker 1: usually only used to doing things alone and like, we

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Speaker 1: couldn't have done this alone, so shout out to him.

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Speaker 1: But there's probably a couple of times we almost like

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Speaker 1: bit his head off too, yep. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not your girlfriend, I'm your boss, and I'll fight you.

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Speaker 1: I was like, is my relationship going to last after this?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Yet here you are, Here, we are We made it.

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Speaker 2: There are definitely some really epic moments during the tour,

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Speaker 2: one specifically in Philly where we had a competition and

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Speaker 2: the bitch pulled her whole fucking wig off to participate,

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Speaker 2: literally peeled the wig off of her head.

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Speaker 1: We have footage, so David, we're gonna send you this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we got to insert it right here.

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Speaker 2: Okay. People were like, I thought you plan that, No,

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Speaker 2: but she can't plan no shit like that. Matter of fact,

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Speaker 2: I don't even I don't even want to. This is

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Speaker 2: it's gonna go on. It's got to go on Patreon

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Speaker 2: because it was just that fucking good. It's that fucking good,

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Speaker 2: you guys, and what she was doing for the reasons

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Speaker 2: of pulling this wig off Patreon only because I don't

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Speaker 2: think I think YouTube will kick us off for sure.

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Speaker 1: But overall, you know, we're I've come to the conclusion

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Speaker 1: we are very spicy bitches. You know when I when

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Speaker 1: I think of our show and foot like full entirety.

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Speaker 1: First of all, we had family members come to our

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Speaker 1: shows throughout you.

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Speaker 2: Had family members. Did my family really showed up? I

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Speaker 2: don't think I'm ever gonna invite you. Actually, well had

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Speaker 2: my brother came, but.

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Speaker 1: My cousin came to d C. I mean my cousin

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Speaker 1: came to Chicago. I had, I had. We didn't have

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Speaker 1: any family in New York. We had like a lot

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Speaker 1: of friends.

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Speaker 2: My man was there, but that was the first one,

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Speaker 2: and I had to be like, hey, babe, so listen,

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Speaker 2: so I want to do something weird on stage, just

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Speaker 2: so you know. And then he came to every show

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Speaker 2: after that, so you know, I broke him in real good.

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Speaker 1: Well, but that first show he came to, he kind

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Speaker 1: of got the light version because he did get the

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Speaker 1: lame Remember, we like we had to skip it, We

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Speaker 1: had to skip some things.

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Speaker 2: Wow, but now he knows full throttle proud proud boyfriend

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Speaker 2: is he is proud?

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Speaker 1: I mean we really, we really pushed the envelope with

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Speaker 1: our boyfriends.

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Speaker 2: It's true.

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Speaker 1: I mean we really made it a point to get

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Speaker 1: fine niggas in every city. We sourced them just so

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Speaker 1: we could like rub on them and ship.

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Speaker 2: And we're not talking about our men. We're talking about

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Speaker 2: other men that we bought and made them come. We

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Speaker 2: bought men. We didn't make them come, but we made

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Speaker 2: them come to the show. Yeah they probably came after.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they for sure did. I was like, this is

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Speaker 1: the best one hundred dollars you've ever made.

339
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Speaker 2: It's true.

340
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna rub up all over you. I'm the first

341
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Speaker 1: time that greasy up with coconut oil. And then I'm

342
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Speaker 1: gonna dance all over you with my dance moves, and

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Speaker 1: then you're gonna enjoy this shit.

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Speaker 2: They did. They I still think I think the finest men,

345
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Speaker 2: the finest man and men were in Chicago and DC.

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Speaker 2: Those are the two finest men.

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Speaker 1: I could agree, except you know what, I don't care

348
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Speaker 1: how fine you are. If you fucking spray me with

349
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Speaker 1: tequila and my fucking eye, it's the fineness is over.

350
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Speaker 2: That's true. I thought he was fine, and then I

351
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,360
Speaker 2: was like, I hate you. Get the fuck off stage. Actually,

352
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Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck. There was a moment

353
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Speaker 2: where Jamila asked for him to pour alcohol in her mouth,

354
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Speaker 2: and instead of pouring it in her mouth, she literally

355
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Speaker 2: I watched it, just poured it directly in her eyeball.

356
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Speaker 2: I was like, do you hate me? With the fun

357
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Speaker 2: and the other guy? I asked him to pour alcohol

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Speaker 2: in my mouth and he proceeded to fill my whole

359
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Speaker 2: entire mouth with tequila, not like a shot, like it

360
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Speaker 2: was overflowing. I had to spit the whole shit out.

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Speaker 1: Bradley Gaines and your cousin are probably not gonna get

362
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,560
Speaker 1: hired for this role again unless there's no alcohol.

363
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Speaker 2: They don't drink obviously. Yeah, well they f I can

364
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,840
Speaker 2: eat fruits and berries because what the fuck? No one's

365
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 2: ever poured of some tequila ever and not even in

366
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Speaker 2: a cup. I mean, but like when you can come,

367
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Speaker 2: is that how you come? And bitches eyes like, what

368
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 2: the fuck is wrong with you? I literally could have

369
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Speaker 2: cursed him out on stage. What the fuck is wrong

370
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Speaker 2: with you? Anyway? No, but you hooru at you huru.

371
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Speaker 2: He was a sweet, kind guy and he was fine.

372
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Speaker 2: He was fine, He was very fine. He only needed

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Speaker 2: one of them. I know. I wish we could could

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Speaker 2: have went on tour with us.

375
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Speaker 1: I know we couldn't. He seemed quiet like he could

376
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Speaker 1: he could do fine. The two guys in Philly were

377
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Speaker 1: really kind too. They were They took their role to

378
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,480
Speaker 1: the next level. They were selling merch topless and apparently

379
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,520
Speaker 1: City Winery wasn't feeling that they made him put.

380
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Speaker 2: Their shirt they did. They made him put their shirts

381
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Speaker 2: back on. Really, we actually got to call Christian about that.

382
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 2: I don't like that. What the fuck?

383
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Speaker 1: Don't be telling my staff but their shirt back on?

384
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Speaker 1: This is the experience.

385
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Speaker 2: Wow. I had no idea because it was Sunday. I

386
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Speaker 2: don't know. They were tripping on Sundays and alcohols and things.

387
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Speaker 1: You know, we live in it like a very free state,

388
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Speaker 1: so there's rules in other places.

389
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Speaker 2: I had no idea. Yeah, what else did we do

390
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,000
Speaker 2: in this stop? We did a lot. We did a

391
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Speaker 2: lot of partying a lot.

392
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Speaker 1: We had to really embody our full rocks to ourselves

393
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,639
Speaker 1: in order to like last.

394
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Speaker 2: We did, I did. I had to. I had to

395
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Speaker 2: keep drinking, even though I didn't want to. I didn't

396
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,840
Speaker 2: want to drink anymore, but I had like I had to.

397
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Speaker 2: I mean it was part of the show.

398
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Speaker 1: We got drunk every night day one, and when we

399
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 1: had a show with the next day and had to

400
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Speaker 1: wake up at five in the morning for a flight,

401
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't.

402
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,159
Speaker 2: Know, mak No. There was one night I had to

403
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,879
Speaker 2: tap out, like y'all went out, even my man went

404
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 2: out with y'all. I was like, I'm going to sleep now,

405
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,000
Speaker 2: you guys, good luck, have fun. I'm going to sleep

406
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 2: and rest. I think that's the only reason I survived.

407
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,160
Speaker 2: Plus I had to get on a flight because mom guilt.

408
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,359
Speaker 2: I think we talked about this in an episode before

409
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,200
Speaker 2: where I said I was gonna fly back to la

410
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 2: for one day. Oh yeah, with Macey. I was gonna

411
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,440
Speaker 2: fly back to LA for one day to see my daughter,

412
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 2: but daughter do ants for five minutes, maybe three and

413
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 2: a half minutes. I did that. I left Atlanta, flew

414
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 2: to La surprised Iri. She was super excited. Then took

415
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 2: her to school in the morning. She disrespected me. My

416
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: daughter's at the age now where she doesn't want me

417
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,239
Speaker 2: to doesn't want to acknowledge me when I walk her

418
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 2: into school, but wants me to walk her to school.

419
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,920
Speaker 2: It's the most confusing shit, Like she wants me there

420
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 2: but like ten feet behind her. And obviously I was

421
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,840
Speaker 2: super tired, so I was like, what the fuck, Like

422
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,919
Speaker 2: I just flew out here, you better like walk with me,

423
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 2: Like you don't have to kiss me, but like walk

424
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Speaker 2: with me. Then that day, we had the homecoming dance,

425
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 2: so I was like, okay, I'm going to do makeup

426
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,359
Speaker 2: on her. I put all this glitter on her. I

427
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: brought the glitter with me because I knew he friends

428
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 2: were gonna want the glitter. I'm like, gonna be fucking

429
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 2: cheer mom. Put the glitter on all these little little girls,

430
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:55,360
Speaker 2: and she does her performance and I'm like, oh my god,

431
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,960
Speaker 2: it's so great. Wow, so amazing. I go find her

432
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 2: and I can't find her. Finally I find and I'm like, hey, babe,

433
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,119
Speaker 2: like that was so great, and like try to give

434
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,879
Speaker 2: her a high five, and she's like she curved. She

435
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 2: can curve the fuck out of me. And I was like, hey,

436
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,480
Speaker 2: good job, and she's like anyways, I'm just like what

437
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 2: the fuck? I cursed her out, I know, like an

438
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 2: adult from gront of her friends, and I was like,

439
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 2: you think I am embarrassing, Now I will embarrass the

440
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 2: fuck out of you. And then I felt bad because

441
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,359
Speaker 2: I did curse at her in fron of her white friends,

442
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: in front of her white friends. I also kind of

443
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 2: cursed at her little friend too, because her little friend

444
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: is being a brat too, and so Bash'm was about

445
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,679
Speaker 2: to curse her out and I was like, no, you

446
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 2: are stranger danger. I know this little girl. You need

447
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 2: to both need to relax. And then I had to

448
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 2: take Iri to her friend's house because I was leaving

449
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,120
Speaker 2: on the Red Eye that night, and I was like,

450
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 2: if I wasn't leaving right now, there'd be no fucking

451
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 2: way you'd be going over to this little girl's house

452
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,000
Speaker 2: right now. I hope you fucking know that, and she's

453
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 2: like okay, Mommy, okay. And then we get to the

454
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 2: house and I'm like almost about to cry. My seven

455
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,159
Speaker 2: year old was gonna make me fucking cry. And the

456
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 2: mom is like, are you okay? I'm like no. She's

457
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 2: like do you want to drink? I'm like no. She's like,

458
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,600
Speaker 2: do you want to talk to my friends? I'm like no, no,

459
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 2: take my child, bye, take her? And then I said

460
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 2: bye to Iri. She again played me, and then I

461
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 2: went in the car and cried on the way to

462
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 2: the airport. Poor thing. When she got to d C,

463
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 2: I was like, are you okay? She's like no.

464
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,199
Speaker 1: Like what She's like, she speak to me, I'm not

465
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,199
Speaker 1: having any more kids. I'm just decided today. She was like,

466
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 1: I just decided this weekend. I don't want to do

467
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 1: this shit again. Use there's no telling they might be

468
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 1: mean to you, and they're true. Parentod do is a

469
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: thankless job.

470
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 2: It is. I was like, it is. They don't give

471
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 2: a fuck, there's no It's so true. I was like, really,

472
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 2: I'm still hurt by it. Oh I'm paid. I literally

473
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,719
Speaker 2: brought it up like four times to her. I'm never

474
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 2: gonna let her live it down. I know.

475
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 1: And then thing I said something to her like are

476
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 1: you waiting mean to my friend at your cheer performances,

477
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 1: these bitches are nuts.

478
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 2: Oh my god, especially after our time in Atlanta. We

479
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,199
Speaker 2: had quite a wild time there. So I was like

480
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:54,880
Speaker 2: coming down.

481
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 1: Oh that was after Atlanta. I after Atlanta, I came down.

482
00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 1: I was, you know what, like.

483
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 2: I was coming down from my fucking show highs of

484
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 2: all the highs of highs.

485
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't think about it, but I think having

486
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: a lot of shows like that, there's so much there's

487
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 1: so much of your serotonin and you're endorphins are running high,

488
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 1: so much adrenaline is up down, up down. But when

489
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: it's over and it's just so much like exchange, you're

490
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: meeting so many people and you're getting like we're getting

491
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: so many kind words, I was like, whoa, Like it's

492
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 1: just like you see everything in real time. It is

493
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,360
Speaker 1: a lot a lot. It's like doing a lot of drugs.

494
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 1: It's like having a drug binge without the drugs.

495
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,719
Speaker 2: That's what I mean. Like I'm coming down, like it

496
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: was so much and then to be like, basically, you're

497
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 2: so amazing, it's so great. And my daughter to play

498
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 2: the fuck out of me. I was like, whoa crashings

499
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 2: like the worst come down coke come down of all time,

500
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: Like by your child Jesus, to come down has nothing

501
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 2: on cocaine. Come down, It's true.

502
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: And then we got super crazy in Atlanta, mostly because

503
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: it was my fault. And then I was pissed, and

504
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: then I was mad at myself and I had to

505
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,959
Speaker 1: do all his work, Like I had to do all

506
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 1: this self work, and like, I don't know if it's

507
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 1: because A we were in retrograde during our tour, which

508
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 1: I was like, why the fuck do we do this?

509
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: Because we didn't confront the witches first. B it was

510
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 1: about to like now, I mean, Monday was a full moon,

511
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: Today's a full moon Wednesday. There's still like full moon energy.

512
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: But I have been feeling so many emotions and I

513
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: really like.

514
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 2: And I'm in fuck and I'm in Tantra school.

515
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,640
Speaker 1: So the day after Atlanta's show, I like was still

516
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 1: drunk and I was like looking and I realized, I'm like,

517
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's eight thirty in the morning.

518
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 2: Pacific standard time. I have class right now.

519
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 1: I couldn't get the internet to work. I was like

520
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: in basketball shorts that were not mine and Cowgirl Boots

521
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: in the lobby drunk with my laptop and.

522
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't get the internet to work.

523
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 2: I gotta go to class.

524
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 1: It was almost like, it's okay, baby, you was not

525
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: about to miss your class.

526
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 2: Oh.

527
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: So then I got on Tanker School and I was

528
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 1: just like, I think I'm overwhelmed. My teacher is like,

529
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 1: are you okay? I might be drunk. I might still

530
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:04,679
Speaker 1: be drunk.

531
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 2: You told her, yeah, But you know what it's like

532
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 2: being in Okay, having this experience and being in school.

533
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 2: Tantra is just teaching me to.

534
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 1: Pay attention to like the pleasure, what brings me pleasure,

535
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 1: and like in all the categories, but you don't really

536
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 1: you have to in order to think about your pleasure,

537
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: you have to think about the things that don't bring

538
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: you pleasure. And I've realized how much I haven't really

539
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 1: paid that a lot of attention. We rarely really study

540
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: our sources of pleasure physical, spiritual, emotional, and we don't

541
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,360
Speaker 1: really like we don't think about it. So sometimes we're

542
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: doing things that are gratifying and instead of pleasurable, they're

543
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: like they're people pleasing sometimes or they're pleasing like you

544
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: think it's gonna So I was just like having all

545
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: these internal I was coming down. I was having all

546
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: these internal thoughts. I was drunk, I was in school,

547
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm not happy.

548
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna make me happy. It made

549
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: me pissed. I was just like all over the place.

550
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: I was crying and shit.

551
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 1: I had to literally sleep for a full day. And

552
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,360
Speaker 1: I just feel like with Retrograde, with five.

553
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 2: Cities, with the full moon that was coming and I

554
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 2: was on my period, there was a lot. It was

555
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: a lot, girl, there's a lot of energy. I think

556
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 2: I just thought about me and my man having a

557
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 2: fight at the sex club we also went. We also

558
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 2: made time to go to the sex club throughout this

559
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 2: Throughout this tour, we went to the sex club in

560
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 2: New York, and me and my man literally had a

561
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 2: fight in the sex club. Not only wait, now, let

562
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 2: me go to the sex club.

563
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 1: It maybe clear we had a show, did all these

564
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: things so that we stayed up all night to go

565
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: to the sex club and then went to.

566
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: Drove to Philly. Right after the sex club.

567
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 1: We got from the sex club, packed up the car,

568
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 1: took a car to Philly. Me and Erica had to

569
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: immediately go to a speaking engagement with children. We did

570
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: a speaking engagement directly after leaving a sex party with

571
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: the Sun. Came out driving to Philadelphia going to a

572
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: speaking engagement, and then we had a show two hours

573
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: after that. It was the dumbest I'm like, we're not adults.

574
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: There's no reason we should have money.

575
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,479
Speaker 2: And I tried to be an adult, and then like

576
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 2: last minute, I was like, fuck it, let's us go.

577
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 2: I booked us a car. I was like, I found

578
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:15,239
Speaker 2: us a car.

579
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 1: They'll take us to Philly and there Lando got mad

580
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 1: at me at the sex party. I was like, we

581
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: did all this to go to the sex party, only

582
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: for a niggas to curse us.

583
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 2: Out, like all stupid. I was like, they're ungrateful, I

584
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: tell her. I'm like, they're fucking ungrateful.

585
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: We took them, we made this happen, and then we're

586
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: the only ones that paid and suffered because we're dumb,

587
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 1: fucking on fumes and Philly was a great show anyway, Yeah,

588
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: it was, well, no one's gonna hire us anymore if

589
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: they keep thinking we're gonna come.

590
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 2: Hey, it was great. You had a lot of great

591
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 2: things to say, I don't know what I said at

592
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 2: that speaking engagement. I literally told you me and I

593
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,719
Speaker 2: was like, bitch, I'm leaning on you because I have

594
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: nothing left. I think you know what.

595
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 1: We wore the same outfits from the sex party to

596
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: the speaking engagement.

597
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 2: We didn't even change our outfits. We were just like,

598
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 2: this is it. Once she came downstairs and the same shit.

599
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm glad you're wearing the same shit,

600
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 1: because so am I.

601
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: I couldn't. I had no capacity to figure out an outfit. Bitch.

602
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: You know what, No matter how much talking we do,

603
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: like we still have to grow up and do some

604
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: self reflection.

605
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 2: I feel like we've grown up a lot over the

606
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 2: last four and a half years, almost five years.

607
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 1: We have grown up a lot, But there's always space

608
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 1: for more growth. Yeah, and I'm always perplexed that there's

609
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: more to do.

610
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 2: Because I'm not Buddha yet. Maybe if I keep starving myself,

611
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna start starving myself too. I don't

612
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 2: think you can afford to starve yourself, I know, but

613
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 2: I need to be Buddha.

614
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 1: What the fuck I am. I'm gonna be the size

615
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: no matter what. If I starve myself if I eat

616
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 1: every thing I am yesterday, and also like I haven't

617
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 1: been like alone a lot, so like I had a break.

618
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: Luna went to her the other side of this family

619
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: and like, Orlando want to play basketball, and I was

620
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: just like in my room, I started feeling high a

621
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: little bit and I just cried. I just needed to

622
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: cry really badly and just like let it out, you know,

623
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: like I felt. I don't know, I feel like when

624
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 1: we came back, I've been feeling like overwhelmed with gratitude

625
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: but having a hard time not feeling grateful. But I

626
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: don't know, like me and Orlando went for a hike

627
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: and he was like saying, like, oh my god, something

628
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 1: about like our love has moved so quickly, and I

629
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: was like mm hmm, it's like I know, it's so beautiful.

630
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 1: And he's like it's like you're saying it, but it

631
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: looks like it hurts you to say.

632
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god.

633
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: I was like what I've never had anyone like pinpoint

634
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 1: how I was feeling so with words so easily, and

635
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: it was like I am happy, but it was hard,

636
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: like my face and.

637
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 2: My feeling was like why I'm like, am I an

638
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 2: evil bitch?

639
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: But I realized that I'm not used to things going

640
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: as well. I'm not used to like feeling this good.

641
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: Like I'm like in love. I'm going on tour. People

642
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: are telling me that love me. They're giving me waste

643
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 1: beads and shit. People are just giving this stuff. I'm like,

644
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 1: this is too much, it's too good. I'm too happy.

645
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 1: I'm like literally sometimes bracing myself for something to go

646
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: wrong and looking for things to be wrong, and I'm like,

647
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: nothing's wrong. And I realized that in that moment, He's like,

648
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: I know you're saying that you're happy, but your face

649
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: looks like you're mad about it.

650
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 2: I was like, WHOA.

651
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: And I didn't even say anything because I was like, damn,

652
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: I never I've never had anyone pinpoint the way I

653
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: was feeling. I'm like, why am I feeling like it

654
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: hurts to say I'm happy? And I was like, probably,

655
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: I've never seen it. I've never seen that. I've never

656
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,959
Speaker 1: existed in this space before, like where I'm not like,

657
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: you know, like I find things to worry about. I

658
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: find fear. I'm fearing the future, I'm fearing the past.

659
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: I'm like whyen I do this like obsessing over shit,

660
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 1: even like all the shit that we did, I was

661
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: just like obsessing over it and it's like, bitch, it's over.

662
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: But it was just like I'm having to I realized

663
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: yesterday and my ie was high, but I wasn't high

664
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: cry session that I have to believe that I deserve

665
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: it and believe that I'm worthy of it to actually

666
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: be present in it. And if I don't believe it,

667
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: then it's like I'm happy, but I'm fighting it because

668
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: it feels foreign. I'm like, am I just an angry

669
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 1: black woman? And I'm like, no, you just haven't. You

670
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: haven't been in this place like im. I'll never forget

671
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: Zosha telling us on her episode during Trigger, We're like

672
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: Happily ever After and she was like white women and

673
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: I like chuckled and laughter. But it's true, like if

674
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: you only see people that don't like, if you've never

675
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: seen it on yourself, it's hard to feel.

676
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 2: Worthy of it when you're in it.

677
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I have the best friend the world,

678
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: I have the best boyfriend in the wild, the best child,

679
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 1: the best business. But I'm still like, like, is it

680
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: gonna like something gonna happen. So I just had to

681
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,200
Speaker 1: like take a moment to like cry that out and

682
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: like shed that those feelings of like.

683
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:15,959
Speaker 2: Like you're safe.

684
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: You like when you have only existed in a place

685
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: of survival, it's you do not know how to exist

686
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: in a place of being present and just being happy

687
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: and being not afraid of things didn't go wrong. So

688
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: I just had to take a moment and tell myself,

689
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: like you're worthy, you're deserving. You worked hard for this shit,

690
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: and like you did the work and that's why you

691
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: have a relationship that's like damn, they're perfect, and a

692
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: friendship that stam, they're perfect, and all these things that

693
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: you deserve because you've done the work to get here.

694
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: But like I had to cry it out by myself.

695
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 2: I was like, am I did I do mushrooms? I

696
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: don't know. I feel like I for me, I have

697
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 2: felt like not that I don't not that I'm not worthy,

698
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 2: it's more so like I'm always like I'm such a

699
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 2: futurist and thinking of like what's next, what's next, What's next,

700
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 2: that it's really hard for me to be present.

701
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: The futurists just make it up. I don't think, so

702
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: oh I never heard that word.

703
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 2: But like just like always thinking about what's next, what's next,

704
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: because like I don't like things are shifting in my

705
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 2: life but not I guess, like financially, like they haven't

706
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 2: shifted in the way yet that I want. So therefore

707
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 2: I'm not totally satisfied. And then I'm like, Okay, well,

708
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 2: when you get that financial shift, will you then be

709
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 2: satisfied Erica yea. And that's like my biggest and that's

710
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: like one of my biggest fears is like not being

711
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: satisfied there. And then also I'm still I'm still working

712
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 2: through totally walking in my choices and like saying to

713
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 2: myself like this is whether or not this is who

714
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 2: you are, This is what you're exploring right now and

715
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: who you are and that's okay. Like thinking about some

716
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 2: of the stuff we did, like even our show, like

717
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, was it too much?

718
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: Did I do too much? Like how is this gonna

719
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 2: reflect on me? Like is this too much for our brand?

720
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 2: Our brands? Like literally I was having after the show

721
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 2: like thoughts like thinking about like is it like are

722
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 2: wetting the line of sex and like too much? Like

723
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 2: is target going to pass on me, Is this brand

724
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: going to pass on me? Is like is my is

725
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 2: beauty blender? Is my mom gonna see this and be disappointed?

726
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: Am I disappointment? Like? Am I doing too much? Is

727
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 2: this me? Am I being Jamila? Or am I being me?

728
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: Like oh no, not it's me, no, not you. But

729
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 2: like these are all thoughts I'm having, Like am I

730
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 2: walking authentically as myself? Or am I being influenced by

731
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 2: like other people or other things? Or like is this me?

732
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 2: Like like these are all things that like are like

733
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: the sources of my anxiety of like really really being grounded,

734
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 2: and like this is my these are my choices, this

735
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: is what I'm doing, and like this is who I

736
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 2: am right now. I might not be this person in

737
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 2: six months. I might say you know what, hey, I

738
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 2: don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to

739
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 2: do this anymore, and like feeling essentially insecure about it.

740
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: It is, but I totally get that, Like it's we're

741
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 1: doing a lot, we're doing a lot on camera, and we're.

742
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 2: Doing it to ourselves. But I do because same, I

743
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 2: did a lot.

744
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: I did a lot, and I like I said, like me,

745
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: and then I was like mad at myself and it

746
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: made me realize not like am I you or am

747
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 1: I being myself?

748
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 2: But like what choices have been my own?

749
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: And what choices have been because I thought, like I

750
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: thought it would be fun, and how many choices have

751
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: I made that I thought would be fun? And then

752
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,479
Speaker 1: in it I didn't want to do anymore and then

753
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 1: didn't stop myself and then really was upset with myself

754
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 1: for days or months and for me like maybe like

755
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: Harbord in my body forever or not ever because I'm

756
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: making the choice to release it. But I understand like

757
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: the exploration of is this me?

758
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: Is this what I want to do?

759
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: Is this bringing me joy and pleasure and fulfillment or

760
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 1: did it seem fun at the time? I think, like

761
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: we're in this like you know, you'll be, you'll be.

762
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: We're in our mid thirties, and I think when you

763
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: function as a woman, especially in your twenties and your teens,

764
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: it's heavily influenced by other people and by being liked

765
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: women women. A lot of times in our society, women's

766
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: value is about them being liked, and us being liked

767
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 1: is about playing by certain rules or being wifed or

768
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: our relationship status and it's it's rarely because it's like

769
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: this is what I fucking wanted to do, fuck you,

770
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: and even us being so deeply in fuck you, it's

771
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: like did I need to do that?

772
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 2: Do I really want to do that? Am I that person?

773
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: You know? And so it's a constant like figuring it out,

774
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: but like it's even hard to figure out what's my

775
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: voice and what's like things people have told me or

776
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 1: me acting out and rebellion because I do that too,

777
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 1: Like sometimes I see myself pushing envelopes even in my

778
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: relationship because I'm like, you can leave me, you know

779
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it's just but it's not like,

780
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 1: but it's not necessary to do that to begin with.

781
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: So I understand, like I kind of feel so much

782
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: insecure about the show is because we've got a lot

783
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:18,760
Speaker 1: of love and stuff.

784
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to say I don't feel insecure,

785
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 2: it's just I think I've not I've had questions about

786
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 2: some of the things, like would I do that again

787
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 2: if I did it again, Like if we want tour again,

788
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 2: am I gonna do some of these other things that

789
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 2: I did on stage again? Or will I or should

790
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 2: I stand in that? Is that something that I really

791
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,800
Speaker 2: want to go forth towards even more so, like just

792
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 2: just questioning all of the things. Essentially, I feel like

793
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 2: I whenever I've acted out of my own normal character

794
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: or like what I've been told to act, like, I

795
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 2: have anxiety because I've been trained, I've trained myself to

796
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 2: act a certain way for so long. I've trained myself

797
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 2: to really care deeply about what my mom thinks, what

798
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 2: you know? And then and also like those people have

799
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: also made me feel like what would your daughter think?

800
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 2: What would this person think? You know? And it's like

801
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 2: people are always gonna have thoughts, you know. People are

802
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 2: always gonna have thoughts, and people are always gonna have opinions,

803
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 2: But it's really about like, Okay, what do I fucking think?

804
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 2: What do I think about this choice? Like if I'm

805
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,720
Speaker 2: standing outside of myself looking at myself, am I proud

806
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 2: of myself? Am I saying go girl, yeah fuck that,

807
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 2: go do that shit? Or am I saying, m that

808
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 2: was cool for the time, Like do you really do

809
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 2: you want to do that again? Maybe not? I don't know,

810
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 2: And like that's what I think It's been has been

811
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 2: like me stepping outside of myself and really trying to

812
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 2: like look at myself, look at my my choices, look

813
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 2: at my even my brand, and like think long term,

814
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 2: what is it? What is the end goal here? Or

815
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 2: what is the goal or what is like what am

816
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: I trying to feel? What is what is pleasurable to me?

817
00:36:54,880 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 2: And sometimes I can feel overwhelming and confusing. And sometimes

818
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 2: I have the answers and there's really very very clear,

819
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 2: and then sometimes they're not very clear. It's not very

820
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 2: clear for me. We've had we've talked about how like

821
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: finding men that would accept us for who we are,

822
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 2: and how like we've put because of what we do,

823
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: what we talk about, what we share, we've essentially xed

824
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 2: out a large population. We've essentially x out, We've eliminated

825
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:35,240
Speaker 2: we've eliminated a large We've xed out a very large

826
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 2: population of men that would feel comfortable wifing us. Essentially.

827
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 2: You know, it sounds horrible, but it's not. It's not

828
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: horrible because I don't want those men and it wasn't

829
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 2: gonna work out. And but like now that I have

830
00:37:55,920 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 2: found a partner that you know accepts me, and you

831
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 2: know we've had and and because I'm still learning, like

832
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,959
Speaker 2: I've said, like I'm going back and forth about I'm

833
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: still learning exactly what who I am, what my boundaries are,

834
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 2: and like even that was like that confusion was even

835
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 2: experienced in Costa Rica, you know, like where it's like, well,

836
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 2: yesterday you said this was fine, and today it's not.

837
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: It's like, well, because I'm still figuring it out. I'm

838
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 2: figuring out what this looks like for me as a girlfriend,

839
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 2: for me as a woman, Like I don't, like I

840
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers all the time, and so

841
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 2: sometimes friendships experience the byproduct of.

842
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 1: That almost our friendship over. But but.

843
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 2: Like now having someone that you know, you know is

844
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 2: super proud of me and still feeling like this thing's

845
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 2: weird anxiety about like like okay, I have the safe space,

846
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: but like, no, I do believe him. I think it's

847
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,399
Speaker 2: just it's my own inner work and it's has nothing

848
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 2: to do with anyone, and like I think I maybe

849
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 2: put this expectation of like this partner's gonna come in

850
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: and then it's gonna like I'm gonna feel totally safe

851
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: in all of my choices, and it's like I don't

852
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 2: always feel safe in all my choices, and I realize

853
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: it's not because of a person, it's because of the

854
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: work that I have to do to feel safe in

855
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 2: my choices.

856
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 1: That that that is what I feel very.

857
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 2: Like, you know, there's not on anyone else, Like there

858
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 2: are things that he's healed in me, and like partners

859
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,479
Speaker 2: do that, like people come together and they heal certain

860
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:30,280
Speaker 2: parts of one another.

861
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,399
Speaker 1: Well, also then it's also you have to you've never

862
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: experienced the safety of being able to be in a

863
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: relationship and address those parts of you. I think for women,

864
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: we're so like, yeah, we're so busy pleasing our partners

865
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: or performing in a way that's acceptable so we can

866
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 1: be liked by ninety five percent and not not that

867
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:53,280
Speaker 1: it's we we forget that it's only here, it doesn't matter.

868
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 1: But when we're not feeling safe enough to do that

869
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: self work, it's difficult to do that. And now that

870
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 1: we're in places that we feel safe enough to do that, now.

871
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 2: That's almost like where the real work begins.

872
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: And it's daunting and it's really about like it's not

873
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: even just like what brings me pleasure, but like even

874
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: me feeling like happy but sad and like kind of

875
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: like an attitude in ways, but having to question that,

876
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: like where is that spirit coming from? And like in

877
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: every every part of my life where that feeling comes up,

878
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,360
Speaker 1: that's not like super likable because I've thrived feeling like

879
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,319
Speaker 1: I am a pretty bubbly, like friendly, loving person. But

880
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: if I can't even address like the underlying darkness and

881
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 1: not even darkness, it's just like are you really are

882
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,760
Speaker 1: you really moving out of love right now? For yourself

883
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,359
Speaker 1: for others, like even with my child. I read something

884
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: recently about like you can't possibly know how to parent

885
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: or what's going to come up, and I think it

886
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: was DJ Smiles. She had a post And you can't

887
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,800
Speaker 1: possibly know what's going to come up, you know, because

888
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: you haven't parented before and you and you only are

889
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: really parenting the way you've you've had it done to you.

890
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: So there are times where I'm like, like I said,

891
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 1: I'm not being like a gentle parent. I'm like girl,

892
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: like I'm not, and I'm having to check myself. But

893
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 1: it's in those moments that I have to go within

894
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,240
Speaker 1: even and like look at my mom, look at my grandmother,

895
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: and look at parts of them that I'm reflecting in myself,

896
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: and like I've been like my mom just had a

897
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: fucking attitude for no reason, and I'm like, what the

898
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: fuck is wrong with you? My grandmother like sweet woman,

899
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: but sometimes like that mouth, but then seeing glimpses of

900
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: that in myself and having to a be like I

901
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,959
Speaker 1: think we have to recognize like we do inherit certain

902
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 1: things from our parents, absolutely cellular cellular and just be

903
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: like that's not mine, like literally saying that to yourself,

904
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: releasing that's not mine, like any insecurities all like the

905
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 1: root of everything is weirdly where the work, the shadow

906
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: work begins, and it's it's not like necessarily beautiful, you

907
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like I realized too, like how

908
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 1: I can have an attitude with people close to me

909
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: like or just like get it. I'll never do that

910
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: with the stranger most of the time, you know what

911
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,320
Speaker 1: I mean. And it's like what is that? How is

912
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 1: it that we forget to like operate in that place

913
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: with you know, I always want to make strangers feel good.

914
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 1: I always want to make people feel good because like

915
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:12,240
Speaker 1: that's my gift.

916
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 2: Well, you give strangers the benefit of the doubt more

917
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 2: than you give the people that you love closest to you,

918
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 2: because you've you've experienced them strangers you haven't really experienced.

919
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 2: It's easy to love them, true, you know, but no,

920
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 2: I feel you. I feel that. I feel that a lot.

921
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: I feel like even just trying to like not like

922
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: with that quote that she said or that whatever you

923
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 2: saw on her Instagram, like me not have. I don't

924
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 2: have certain tools. I have to build them. I have

925
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 2: to start from scratch because I don't possess certain tools

926
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 2: that I need to as a woman, as a as

927
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 2: a mother. And that's been one too, like because I

928
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 2: did receive something as a child, I saw no example

929
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 2: of it me having to now almost like face I

930
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 2: have to face it because I don't have to have

931
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 2: these tools for her. So it's like you have to

932
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 2: remind yourself to constantly talking to her as like as

933
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: a single mother to her whose father is not around. Really,

934
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 2: like how do we have these conversations because I never

935
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 2: I've never had this conversation with anyone ever, Like even

936
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 2: like that wasn't given to me either, because like that

937
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: just I mean not that it wasn't given to me,

938
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 2: but it was just like I don't know, like my

939
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: mom did try, but it wasn't in the way that

940
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 2: I think I needed and that's not her fault, you know.

941
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 2: And like same with Iri. It's like I'm trying to

942
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 2: learn what she needs, but like I might, i might fail,

943
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 2: you know, like because I'm literally building these tools in

944
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 2: It's like I'm walking and like building something at the

945
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 2: same time. Like I'm just like grabbing things like Okay,

946
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 2: well this may be okay, let me try that. Okay,

947
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 2: that didn't work. Let me ask this person.

948
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: And I've never seen it, how do you do it?

949
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: And it's like big and it seemed but it's like it's.

950
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:54,879
Speaker 2: But you do it. You just do it. And that's

951
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: what I realized too. It's like okay, and sometimes you're

952
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 2: gonna do it wrong. I like was really sad about

953
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 2: this fee because I've been feeling it for like a

954
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 2: while now. And then I was like, literally the other day,

955
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,479
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, so you're work. Like I really

956
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 2: feel like I've a I'm finally figuring something out. Something

957
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 2: is happening like where I'm like I feel like there's

958
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,760
Speaker 2: more space in my life lately, or I'm really allowing

959
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 2: it to be and I'm being able to understand and

960
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: be more intuitive to what she's needing. But I just

961
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 2: feel like also like you you don't know what you

962
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: don't know, like you said, like and I might not

963
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: get it right. And that's okay too, because that's part

964
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 2: of the whole the whole journey of figuring it out.

965
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 2: But I don't know. I was reading something about this

966
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 2: full moon and it was saying something about like it's

967
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 2: being it's a heavy one for some especially like I

968
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 2: think it was. I think it was sister's village Instagram.

969
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,399
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've ever looked, yeah, followed, Yeah,

970
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 2: they're really good, and she was saying like tell me

971
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 2: a rising sign and I'll tell you what the effects

972
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 2: of this moon has on you. And so I was

973
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 2: reading the comments and I got to Scorpio and it

974
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 2: said like something about what was it? I want to

975
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: read it? Like did I take a screenshot of it?

976
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 2: I hope I did. But it was just like basically

977
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 2: inner child work, healing your inner child, like working on

978
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 2: your a very important relationship, really finding the time to

979
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 2: do it, and like like right now, like that's like

980
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 2: so important to me because it's like it's crazy. I

981
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 2: see the change in her. I see that she is

982
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 2: literally like there's a shift happening.

983
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's this age right now is like from girl

984
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 1: like little girl to like young lady, Like, oh you're

985
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 1: a person person. Oh you're communicating clearly. Oh you're having

986
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 1: feelings and thoughts and opinions. It is like Luna has

987
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: told me some stuff in the last week, and I'm like,

988
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: who the fuck are you? And I'm like, oh, yeah,

989
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:59,359
Speaker 1: my fucking child. Yeah me, Like it's just like and

990
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: doing it friendly than our parents did. I was.

991
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: I don't know, like I wasn't I wasn't sheltered.

992
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: But I I like my parents. My parents talk to

993
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 1: me like a human And so I try to let

994
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: Lunam feel comfortable enough to be honest, but I'm like

995
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: overwhelmed by the information that she knows because it feels like, damn,

996
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: you're a fucking adult.

997
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,800
Speaker 2: This is what it's said. It said for Scorpio rising,

998
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 2: this full moon is guiding you to reevaluate your daily

999
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 2: routine and how you spend your time. Are there are

1000
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 2: things you shouldn't be spending each day doing or doing

1001
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 2: less of. It's calling you to release yourself of perfectionism

1002
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 2: and allow yourself to surrender to the flow of life.

1003
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 2: And so like, that's what I think is like happening

1004
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 2: to me too. I'm just like, I'm never gonna be

1005
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,000
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be perfect. There's no way, like because

1006
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 2: even the pressure of having a platform like what we have,

1007
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 2: like where we talk openly about like trying to reparent

1008
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 2: ourselves and repairent our children and you know, do all

1009
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: this work essentially and then still in some ways fail

1010
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 2: like in this work that we're doing like privately essentially,

1011
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 2: Like it just like it feels overwhelming sometimes and daunting,

1012
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:11,879
Speaker 2: like I have to get it right right, Like.

1013
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: I have all the resources, Like am I supposed to

1014
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: give a fuck? I'm I'm not supposed to give a fuck. Yeah,

1015
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,800
Speaker 1: it's like your's which your just Leo right my rising?

1016
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: Yeah uh yeah Leo. Let me see if I can

1017
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:23,799
Speaker 1: find it.

1018
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 2: But yeah, it was just it was just it's been

1019
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 2: like feeling that way, but I feel different of Leo rising.

1020
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 2: For Leo Rising, the full moon is guiding you to

1021
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,399
Speaker 2: reflect on the stories you have been telling yourself and

1022
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 2: how they have been holding you back from your growth,

1023
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 2: connect with what life means to you, what do you

1024
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 2: want out of this life? But yeah, so, but me

1025
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 2: and Iri have a So I was like literally on

1026
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 2: Discord the other day crying in the carpool line at

1027
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: Iris school because I asked everyone on Discord like I

1028
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 2: need advice because I was feeling really defeated after the

1029
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 2: way she treated honestly, honestly and and then you're telling

1030
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 2: me like that thing like the she like like are

1031
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 2: my nanny? Such as being mean? And I was like

1032
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 2: what the fuck? Like this is not my child, Like

1033
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 2: what what is happening? And I've been noticing her behavior

1034
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 2: and I'm like it's I just feel like I'm seeing

1035
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 2: things that like granted are just probably you know, seven

1036
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 2: year old things, but also like, Okay, what can I

1037
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: do to like nurture this more? Like figure this out? More?

1038
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 2: What am I not doing? And so I'm like on

1039
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 2: Discord and like texting the Discord like Mom's like mom, emergency,

1040
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 2: help me help literally, And so all these people started

1041
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 2: messaging me all this great advice. Like, man, I'm just

1042
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 2: so grateful for like the community we have because there's

1043
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 2: so many different perspectives and there's so many like older parents,

1044
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 2: like people that I can call on and be like, hey,

1045
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 2: what did you do? What didn't you do? Tell me

1046
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 2: what to do? What did you what would worked for you,

1047
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 2: Like what does a be specific? I need a specific thing,

1048
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 2: and so yeah, they were all messaging me and then

1049
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 2: like that, I picked her up and I was like, hey,

1050
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 2: so I've decided that every Thursday, we're gonna have a

1051
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 2: mommy daughter day. We're gonna go home, we're gonna get

1052
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 2: dressed up, and we're gonna go pick a place. You

1053
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 2: pick this week. I pick next week. And she was

1054
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 2: like so excited. I was excited. Then my phone died.

1055
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 2: I was like, bitch, this is was supposed to happen,

1056
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 2: Like this is what it's about, Like I'm supposed to

1057
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 2: be here, like I need to really be able to

1058
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 2: commit to this connection with her, and like it made

1059
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 2: me feel good, it made her feel good, and like

1060
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 2: I just feel like sometimes working parents, like you know,

1061
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 2: it's fucking hard, like you're trying. I just felt like

1062
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 2: I've been in this mode of just like did you eat,

1063
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:36,919
Speaker 2: did you do your homework? Go to sleep? Did you eat?

1064
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 2: Did your homework? Plate it okay? Okay here like you know,

1065
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 2: or it's like there's no real special time that I've

1066
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:47,760
Speaker 2: that I've really carved out really just for her, and

1067
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 2: I'm excited to see how that moves moves a relationship forward.

1068
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 2: But like it's just been a weird time. I've been

1069
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 2: crying a lot and trying to figure this shit out. Well,

1070
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 2: it's okay cry. You need to cry, you need to

1071
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 2: move the emotion. You know.

1072
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: I realize, like it's really important to cry, it's really

1073
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 1: important to feel, and like it's okay to cry even

1074
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 1: if you don't know why you're crying.

1075
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: You know, it's it's important to like let it all

1076
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 2: come out however it comes out, and it's important to

1077
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:19,720
Speaker 2: move your body. Yeah, it's yeah, I know, it's crazy.

1078
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 2: It's crazy to have so many emotions. Like they're good,

1079
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 2: like the tour was amazing, I'm so grateful. Then there's

1080
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 2: like this like so like emotional like vulnerability with my daughter.

1081
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 2: Then there's like anger because my baby daddy's is not

1082
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,880
Speaker 2: shit and he's a fucking asshole. And then I'm just

1083
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 2: like why would I choose you? Get out? Like please God,

1084
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 2: why just remove this person from my life? And then

1085
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: I have this amazing man who's just like the shit amazing,

1086
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 2: but also chat where he challenges me as well, and

1087
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,280
Speaker 2: like we challenge each other but in like the best

1088
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 2: way possible. But like it's all like a lot of

1089
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 2: energy exchanges happening currently in my life, which I know

1090
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 2: feels like this grand tornado that's going to like shift

1091
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 2: a lot soon, and it's already on its way shifting.

1092
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 2: So I don't know. It's life is lifing. Life is lifing.

1093
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 2: But you know, and I'm turning thirty something, yeah, and

1094
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 2: then I'm turning thirty something and I think that's too.

1095
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:22,280
Speaker 2: It's a lot. There's a lot happening. Yeah, but it's fine.

1096
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,919
Speaker 2: It's fine. I look good and everything's good, and I'm

1097
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 2: young and it's fine. It's just like the best time

1098
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,720
Speaker 2: of your fucking life. I know. Birthdays are so weird.

1099
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: I just I don't know. It's like I don't want

1100
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 2: to do anything, but I know when it gets like

1101
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: on the day, i'm'd be like, why did I decide

1102
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 2: not to do anything? I'm mad and I want to

1103
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,279
Speaker 2: hang out with my friends, but also like leave me

1104
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 2: the fuck alone. That's just fucking scorpio. Yeah. Well, it's

1105
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 2: almost Scorpio season. It is Libra season, and they matter,

1106
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 2: but I'm just gonna go ahead and just call it

1107
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 2: declare Scorpio season now. It's Scorpio season. Now, A month

1108
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 2: Scorpio season.

1109
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 1: What a beautiful thing it is to feel though, right like,

1110
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: at least we feel and let's says know we're alive.

1111
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 2: And we're self aware.

1112
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 1: Thank God for self awareness and for the ability to

1113
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: grow and to dig deeper.

1114
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 2: No, being self aware is the greatest gift, you know,

1115
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,400
Speaker 2: it is, and it's also my greatest curse, because sometimes

1116
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 2: a bitch wish it could just be like whatever, I

1117
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 2: know it, but whatever you know, it's like too much,

1118
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 2: Like I'm too it's too much. Sometimes it is so much.

1119
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 2: There's so many feelings. I feel so much. I'm like,

1120
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 2: is this because I'm a cancer? What the fuck? It's

1121
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 2: too much. I get tense. Literally, I freeze up.

1122
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 1: There's too many things in my head and just like

1123
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 1: worried about too many things, everything is feeling hard.

1124
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 2: I feel like though, I do feel like I have

1125
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 2: more space. Though I've been getting more space. I'm tired

1126
00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 2: as fuck, but literally I feel like I have more

1127
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:00,839
Speaker 2: space in my brain. The last few days, I think

1128
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 2: because I've just the wa No, No, I don't think. No,

1129
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 2: it's not that I think because it's been a weekend

1130
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 2: and I really didn't do work. I really was like

1131
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 2: I looked at stuff and I was like Monday, and

1132
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 2: I never do that. I'm always like okay, but I

1133
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 2: just don't. I just feel like there's space in our

1134
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 2: business too, because we're investing in our business in a

1135
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 2: bigger way to create space in our lives. It's important

1136
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 2: and sometimes you have to do that. Sometimes you have

1137
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 2: to like do whatever has to do, whatever you have

1138
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 2: to do for that sanity in space. So I'm just

1139
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 2: but I'm grateful to be able to be able to

1140
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:49,399
Speaker 2: do that. I've worked really hard and we've worked really

1141
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 2: hard to be able to do that. And to people listening,

1142
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,160
Speaker 2: like you've worked really hard to be able to create

1143
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 2: space in your life too. There's different ways that you

1144
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 2: can create space, and we have to do it or

1145
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 2: else we will go fucking I know.

1146
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: That's what I keep thinking, Like how like sustainability, like

1147
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 1: how long can we go like this?

1148
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 2: How long can our kids go like this? A long?

1149
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:10,879
Speaker 1: Like, you know, because we realize how quickly time moves

1150
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: when we see our kids like come huge overnight.

1151
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, that's where I think I'm at with

1152
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 2: it too. It's just like okay, wait, hold on, what

1153
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:23,399
Speaker 2: let's recalibrate here, because like this is important, but there's

1154
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 2: a lot of other things that are important.

1155
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,800
Speaker 1: How am I going to be feeling at the most high,

1156
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,320
Speaker 1: like the most How am I making use of my

1157
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 1: time where I'm like really having a good life, Like

1158
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 1: I feel really good about where I've put my time,

1159
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, who I'm with. I don't feel bad

1160
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,240
Speaker 1: about shit I shouldn't feel bad about. I can literally

1161
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: just be in joy and love, like not some underlying

1162
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 1: shit and not some like just really, how can I

1163
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: maintain being happy and having peace? And sometimes it's like, yeah,

1164
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 1: making making it.

1165
00:54:54,440 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 2: Happen, boundaries and finances, finances. But that's why you have

1166
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 2: to listen to our episode with Loose, because she's the

1167
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 2: money witch and all of it's possible, and it's October.

1168
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:15,399
Speaker 2: It's witchy October guys, and there's witchy vibes, and there's

1169
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 2: a lot of magic. And it's really about pulling all

1170
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 2: those things together and like acknowledging the things, right, we

1171
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 2: just acknowledge them, but then also like getting activated in them.

1172
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,279
Speaker 2: And that's also what I've been feeling too. It's like

1173
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 2: when I just feel activated, I'm like, Okay, I can

1174
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 2: do this. I got this. Yeah, you know, and believing that.

1175
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 2: And it's a full moon, it's Wednesday, but then full

1176
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 2: moon energy is still from Ari's moon is still present,

1177
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 2: and it's still vibing and doing its things. So if

1178
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 2: you're listening to this, I encourage you to go home,

1179
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,880
Speaker 2: write something down, think about what it is that you

1180
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,839
Speaker 2: want to release or indulge in. Because it was also

1181
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 2: saying that this moon is all about like also kind

1182
00:55:55,000 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 2: of tapping into like your childlike energy, like being laughing, dancing,

1183
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 2: doing cartwheels. I think that's what I don't do. Do

1184
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 2: some cartwheels. Do a cart wheel today, See how makes

1185
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:11,439
Speaker 2: you feel. It's usually pretty fun. Mm hmm. Don't hurt

1186
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:15,840
Speaker 2: yourself first, just like I don't advise you starve yourself

1187
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 2: like me. Also, do you do a cart will you

1188
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 2: hurt yourself? It's not my fault. Strive yourself and then

1189
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 2: do a cartrail like it gonna be freeze but it's

1190
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 2: the eight when eight diet and alkaline water at least. Also,

1191
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:30,919
Speaker 2: I read one cart wheel a day.

1192
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 1: I'm reading Debbie's book, and there's a therapist, a family,

1193
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 1: a famous family therapist that says four hugs a day

1194
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 1: is for survival. Eight hugs a day is for maintenance

1195
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 1: and twelve hugs a day is for growth. M So

1196
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 1: make sure you're getting your twelve plus twelve, twelve, make

1197
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 1: it twelve, make it twelve or more?

1198
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 2: Which one? Survival? Four? Four? Damn like just yeah, it

1199
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 2: feels like it. Oh my god, it is like for survival.

1200
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 2: It's like.

1201
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 1: It's like the half hug you gotta give people, like

1202
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 1: deep long hugs.

1203
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, cuddle people. I'm gonna pull a card because at

1204
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 2: the beginning of the episode, the Two of Ones two

1205
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 2: of One's let me two, we also have an advice

1206
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 2: question today, guys, it's been a while since. Uh, I

1207
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 2: feel like we've done advice questions.

1208
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 1: Two of One's Personal goals inner alignment, fear of unknown progress,

1209
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 1: decisions discovery. That was reverse personal goals inner alignment for them. No, okay,

1210
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: a lot of pop ups a very popular sect.

1211
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 2: It's become very popular. It's all because of us. They

1212
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:56,479
Speaker 2: blew up. They didn't know why people do ask about

1213
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 2: them a lot. They do.

1214
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 1: Really do we need a partnership with Biddy. Two of

1215
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: Wand's upright. The Two of Wands takes the spark of

1216
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:06,439
Speaker 1: inspiration from the Ace of Wands and turns it into

1217
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: a clear action plan. You went through the discovery phase,

1218
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 1: and now that you want to manifest. Now that you

1219
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,520
Speaker 1: went to discovery phase and know what you want to manifest,

1220
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 1: now you need to figure out how you're exploring your

1221
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: options and carefully plotting out the path ahead, accounting for

1222
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 1: all possibilities and potential challenges. You are open to growth

1223
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 1: and exploring new territories so long as you maintain a

1224
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 1: level of certainty that efforts will work out in the end.

1225
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 1: When the two of one appears in a terror reading,

1226
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 1: you are not ready to make your move. It is

1227
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: more important that you establish a clear path before proceeding.

1228
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 1: The two of Wands is also about discovery, particularly as

1229
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: you step outside of your comfort zone and explore new

1230
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 1: world and experiences. It may take courage to set out,

1231
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: but this card gives you the confidence of self knowledge.

1232
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 1: You know what your goal is and you are sure

1233
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: of its eventual fulfillment. Let your intuition and pression and

1234
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 1: passion and guide you as you confirm your next steps.

1235
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 2: Hmm. That resonates a lot.

1236
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 1: You have already come so far and now you feel

1237
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,479
Speaker 1: ready for the change, this time with your long term

1238
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 1: future in mind. You may be complimenting como contemplating overseas travel,

1239
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: further education, or significant career switched to expand your horizons

1240
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:24,960
Speaker 1: beyond your immediate environment.

1241
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 2: Okay, with careful planning and moderate approach, you will set

1242
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 2: yourself up for success. Yeah, it's kind of what I

1243
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 2: feel too, like just planning out and like really taking

1244
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 2: time to really decide how I can nurture different parts

1245
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,439
Speaker 2: of my life right now.

1246
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:50,440
Speaker 1: The two interiros often represents decisions of some sort. With

1247
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: this too, you may make a choice between sticking with

1248
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 1: what you know or taking a risk. You understand the

1249
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 1: world has something bigger or more meaningful to offer you,

1250
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 1: Yet you also realize that you must leave your familiar

1251
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:05,120
Speaker 1: grounds to capitalize on the opportunity. Even though you already

1252
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: invested a lot into your current circumstances, it is imperative

1253
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: that you step out and explore your options.

1254
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 2: I'm exploring all parts of what brings me pleasure right now,

1255
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 2: publicly and privately. Right, you know, publicly and privately. So

1256
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 2: what's that? That was the two of one? You hear

1257
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 2: my stomach? Yeah? I did. My stomach scrowling, guys, because

1258
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 2: I'm starving, diet guys, I'm not starving. Don't worry like,

1259
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 2: don't I'm not herexic geez trigger warning. Hold on, this

1260
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 2: is not arexia.

1261
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: I want to be very clear here, spiritual, spiritually eight

1262
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 1: when eight de tax it is.

1263
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,439
Speaker 2: I'm going to start praying tonight. You're supposed to pray

1264
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 2: instead of eat in place of your meals. I know

1265
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 2: I'm good. I told you tonight tonight, I started praying.

1266
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 2: Last night, I did some manifest I mean irin, it's

1267
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 2: some manifesting. Last night. I let some candles said some things.

1268
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 2: We did too. We broughte our ancestor money. We burned it.

1269
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 2: I gotta release it.

1270
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: I left some eggs at the crossroads. All the things perfect, beautiful.

1271
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 2: We have an advice question, okay, and this is from

1272
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 2: It's a mom advice question. It's very rude. Actually it's rude. Yeah, okay, Hi,

1273
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 2: I just started listening to your show, and wow, I'm

1274
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 2: so glad I found it. I love you, guys, love you.

1275
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 2: Can you please give me some advice to single moms

1276
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 2: who have been dumped by a long term boyfriend because

1277
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 2: he just wasn't ready to spend his free time with

1278
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 2: me and my kid. My boyfriend of almost three years

1279
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 2: finally met my five year old daughter, and after hanging

1280
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 2: out with us a few times, he said he didn't

1281
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 2: feel right and didn't like that he was just there.

1282
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like at I'm feeling at an all time low.

1283
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 2: Now I'm afraid no man will ever want me because

1284
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 2: I'm a mom. Plus I'm thirty four now and all

1285
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,919
Speaker 2: my friends are married and live far. I can't even

1286
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 2: go out nowadays. Help fucking rude, rude? What the fuck?

1287
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 2: First of all, thank god, thank god? First, like, thank

1288
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 2: god that he was like he just kept him moving.

1289
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 2: But let this be a lesson. Don't wait three years? Yeah,

1290
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:27,080
Speaker 2: you don't. Don't. Why did you wait three years? The

1291
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 2: girl like she was two? Yeah.

1292
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 1: I think that we do ourselves a disservice when we

1293
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: wait so long, because then people don't get to know

1294
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 1: you as the mom that you are.

1295
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 2: There's a real whole other side of you, probably the

1296
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 2: one of the largest parts of you, especially at that age,

1297
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 2: because your daughter is like what two years old when

1298
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 2: you met this man, like you're in it, in it.

1299
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 2: He is not experiencing this person like that? Is you

1300
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:59,680
Speaker 2: so coming into a space like that, like uh uh no,

1301
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 2: I don't even know why he would have waited. I

1302
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 2: wouldn't even waited that long. I was like, I need

1303
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,280
Speaker 2: to meet your child, right right?

1304
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 1: I mean he just I mean and honestly the let

1305
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:11,720
Speaker 1: the week move on, you know if it's yeah, he's

1306
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 1: not about that life good.

1307
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 2: Like keep it moving.

1308
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm happy or honest with me, but I wouldn't give up.

1309
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 1: There's definitely like there's definitely men that will love you

1310
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 1: and love your child and you're still worthy.

1311
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if your mom.

1312
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 1: For sure, one or three or five, whatever the fuck,

1313
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 1: Like if you went love that's something that is accessible. Yeah,

1314
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 1: and the right one, the right person that gets it.

1315
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 2: But you have to be honest about your motherhood like

1316
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 2: you cannot be. You kind of hid your motherhood from

1317
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,479
Speaker 2: him too, Like I don't know what the circumstances are,

1318
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 2: like you know, if you want to further explain or

1319
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 2: not explain, if you want to further share, like I'm

1320
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:52,720
Speaker 2: interested to know, but like you hid your child too,

1321
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 2: like you kind of you manifest these kind of situations

1322
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 2: when you hide parts of especially the major parts of

1323
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 2: yourself like that from someone who's supposed to love you,

1324
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 2: like especially I'm sure after three years I hope you

1325
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 2: guys are in love, Like fuck that guy. But also

1326
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 2: next time, I recommend if you're feeling my first date, yeah,

1327
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:16,240
Speaker 2: but like I recommend like reconsidering like the time in

1328
01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 2: which you wait to introduce or at least I don't

1329
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 2: know present.

1330
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 1: It's also it's also doing a disservice for your child

1331
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 1: because she's like, who the fuck is this.

1332
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 2: The fact that your mother is like the coolest part

1333
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 2: of you. Actually, you're a natural nurturer. You know how

1334
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 2: to take care of a person, like you have this amazing, incredible, yes,

1335
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 2: anxiety filled responsibility. But it's literally like I look at

1336
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 2: motherhood as like that's my biggest flex that's my asset,

1337
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:46,880
Speaker 2: Like I have no qualms or ways or like there's

1338
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 2: nothing around it at this point, you know, So just

1339
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 2: start trying to look at it that way. Definitely don't

1340
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:54,680
Speaker 2: look at it as that and thirty four year young girl.

1341
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:57,240
Speaker 1: And also like, yeah, I have a kid, I'm a mom.

1342
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 1: I have shit to do. I don't have time for

1343
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 1: any bullshit. So of your some bullshit, it's best you

1344
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 1: let me know now. I don't have a lot of

1345
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 1: time to play games. This is what I want, this

1346
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 1: is what I don't want.

1347
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:08,000
Speaker 2: And you can go out with your married friends. Go

1348
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 2: out with your married friends. This is not like you

1349
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,919
Speaker 2: don't have to. I mean, obviously you guys are living

1350
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:14,360
Speaker 2: in different lives. But make new friends or go out

1351
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 2: with your married friends. Don't not go out and make

1352
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 2: excuses to why you can't go out, Like it's not

1353
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 2: even about going out, but like, go outside, go outside,

1354
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 2: definitely go outside. Meet people. Yeah, connect join our discord,

1355
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 2: that's what that's what Discord's for. Go join the discord,

1356
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:38,920
Speaker 2: make some friends and meet up. Yeah. So I'm sorry

1357
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:41,640
Speaker 2: that happened too, though. That's trash. It's really really whack.

1358
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 2: Do you have a hurry, Yeah, we do have a hurry.

1359
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 2: Let's see if I can find it. Oh it was

1360
01:05:55,720 --> 01:06:01,200
Speaker 2: a pegging horry. Oh I love those it was pegging

1361
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:05,560
Speaker 2: hoy one moment. Please what I find the pegging horry?

1362
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 2: Who stories? Proceed with caution. This is from an OG

1363
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:21,880
Speaker 2: listener shout out to you. So I was dating this

1364
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:26,560
Speaker 2: woman at the time and she was very lesbian, very lesbian.

1365
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:31,800
Speaker 2: Note I know the time she was a total top

1366
01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:34,400
Speaker 2: and never wanted to receive, which is cool but was

1367
01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 2: new but was new to me back then. I was

1368
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:37,840
Speaker 2: twenty two, and I was young and dumb and full

1369
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:42,320
Speaker 2: of cum. Okay, stream to it. Huh. One day I

1370
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 2: heard her talking with a gay boy best friend about

1371
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 2: how she topped him. I was so curious. That was

1372
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:49,720
Speaker 2: the first day I heard about pegging my friend was

1373
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:51,840
Speaker 2: My mind was blown and I was full, and I

1374
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,520
Speaker 2: was full of dirty, fucking fantasies. So of course I

1375
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 2: jumped on the Internet and joined some gay hookup site.

1376
01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:59,720
Speaker 2: For some reason, I thought only gay or by men

1377
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 2: be into this, ha ha ha, since the site was

1378
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 2: traditionally gay man. Since the site was a traditionally gay

1379
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 2: man site, and I was definitely a beautiful, big titty chick,

1380
01:07:10,880 --> 01:07:13,840
Speaker 2: I decided to be fully upfront and posted in my bio.

1381
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 2: I was there to meet someone who wanted to peg

1382
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 2: strictly for experimenting and no ongoing relationship. My inboxes flooded. Wow.

1383
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 1: I never heard someone hear about a kink and go

1384
01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 1: full fledged, like I have to do this.

1385
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 2: Getting a gay profile just so like a fulfillment. She

1386
01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 2: has big tits. Okay, she's ambitious, she has big titties,

1387
01:07:35,120 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 2: and she's going to get what she wants. I like it.

1388
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 2: I was so surprised even straight dudes who just wanted

1389
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 2: to fuck me, which I was confused about. But hey,

1390
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,440
Speaker 2: the Internet is a safe space. I had my pick

1391
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 2: of the litter, so I decided I wanted the hottest,

1392
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 2: most masculine straight man with muscular body, tattoo, tall, dark,

1393
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 2: and handsome, because at the time I was fucking mostly

1394
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:58,360
Speaker 2: women and the hard body was mess was missing in

1395
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:02,360
Speaker 2: my sex life. Okay, after finally talking for a while,

1396
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,080
Speaker 2: we decided to meet up. I met the guy at

1397
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:06,480
Speaker 2: Starbucks first to make sure I felt safe with him.

1398
01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:09,560
Speaker 1: Starbucks, not even like a night bar.

1399
01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 2: They went for croissants you're getting okay, and a chai

1400
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:16,639
Speaker 2: latte you're getting coffee to discuss pegging in the daylight.

1401
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 2: Just to meet him, to make sure she felt safe. Okay,

1402
01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:22,640
Speaker 2: she's okay. He was six to two, ripped. You know

1403
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 2: this person, He was six too, ripped, light green eyes,

1404
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,960
Speaker 2: dark hair. He wore his wedding ring on one hand,

1405
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:32,840
Speaker 2: which gave me a girl boner. He admitted he was

1406
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,040
Speaker 2: He admitted he was stepping out on his wife to

1407
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:38,320
Speaker 2: fulfill his desires because he felt uncomfortable admitting to them

1408
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:41,800
Speaker 2: to her. Of course, my moral compass was off that day,

1409
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 2: and I was thinking with my dick, so my devil

1410
01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:46,679
Speaker 2: horns were showing. My pussy was so wet for him,

1411
01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:49,760
Speaker 2: and I was ready to get it. He found not.

1412
01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 2: He was opening up to you, and all you thought

1413
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:57,960
Speaker 2: about was, oh my god, I love this bitch. He

1414
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,080
Speaker 2: followed me back to the apartment. We walked to my

1415
01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:03,040
Speaker 2: walk past my gay roommate, and I threw him a wink.

1416
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 2: I got one of your kind. As we entered my room,

1417
01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:10,040
Speaker 2: I had already set the scene for him. Dildo's on

1418
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 2: the bed so he could pick his sighs. I had

1419
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:14,519
Speaker 2: some other toy set out. I was surprised that I

1420
01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:17,040
Speaker 2: wasn't nervous. I was fully tapped into my top energy

1421
01:09:17,080 --> 01:09:19,600
Speaker 2: and felt so powerful. He was six ' two and

1422
01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:22,120
Speaker 2: super muscular and strong, but he had such a soft,

1423
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 2: sweet personality. I knew he was about to be my

1424
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 2: little bitch. Wait the whey She wrote this strip slowly,

1425
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,200
Speaker 2: as I said to him, no, no strip. Slowly, I

1426
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 2: said to him, make sure you keep eye contact with me.

1427
01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:40,560
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I really like how she's going from Starbucks

1428
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:41,920
Speaker 1: straight to like strip.

1429
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:45,360
Speaker 2: He stripped down. His body was beautiful, every muscle so defined,

1430
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:48,680
Speaker 2: his dick was smaller than I expected. I laughed. He

1431
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:51,519
Speaker 2: liked it, and I could notice him smile as I laughed.

1432
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,280
Speaker 2: I walked up to him and grabbed his penis what

1433
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 2: the fuck is this all this body? And where's the

1434
01:09:57,160 --> 01:10:01,040
Speaker 2: rest of this cock? He smiled and shrugged. Okay, so

1435
01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:03,679
Speaker 2: he is a sub got it. Get down on your knees,

1436
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,000
Speaker 2: you little slut. As he got down on his knees,

1437
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:07,840
Speaker 2: I grabbed his chin and made him look up at me,

1438
01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:10,479
Speaker 2: stick my fingers inside of his mouth and made him suck.

1439
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:13,519
Speaker 2: You're gonna be my little bitch today and obey every

1440
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:16,840
Speaker 2: single command. If you are a good little bitch, then

1441
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:19,160
Speaker 2: I will fuck the shit out of you. Then I

1442
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:22,720
Speaker 2: will fuck the shit out of your tight asshole. His

1443
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:25,960
Speaker 2: eyes widened and with joy, and he choked on my

1444
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,800
Speaker 2: fingers and teared up. Stay on your knees and rust

1445
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:31,880
Speaker 2: your head on my bed. Put your arms behind your back.

1446
01:10:32,120 --> 01:10:35,559
Speaker 2: I handcuffed his hands together. Now hold still, this is

1447
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:42,640
Speaker 2: gonna sting, a little, not a little bit sting. I

1448
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:45,719
Speaker 2: dripped candle wax down his muscular back. His muscles flinched,

1449
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,360
Speaker 2: but he did not move. He let out small moans

1450
01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:51,479
Speaker 2: with every drop, watching the wax harden on his back

1451
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 2: was It was turning me on way more. My God.

1452
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:57,120
Speaker 2: I suddenly had an idea. I needed to save this

1453
01:10:57,200 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 2: memory forever. I asked him for consent to record our session.

1454
01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:04,759
Speaker 2: Can you send the video? I need to see this video.

1455
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:11,680
Speaker 2: You know who you are. Send the video. He consented,

1456
01:11:11,760 --> 01:11:14,720
Speaker 2: and so I invited my roommate into film us. He

1457
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:17,839
Speaker 2: was elated. He grabbed my digital camera and was getting

1458
01:11:17,920 --> 01:11:20,880
Speaker 2: all the angles digital camera with my roommate in the room,

1459
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:24,280
Speaker 2: the music pumping. Fine, This fine ass man at my fingertips,

1460
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:27,240
Speaker 2: This fine ass man at my fingertips, ready for me

1461
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:29,840
Speaker 2: to use and abuse him. I felt high. I needed

1462
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:34,120
Speaker 2: that ass right now. He got on all fours. I

1463
01:11:34,160 --> 01:11:37,280
Speaker 2: made him look straight into the camera and prepare for entry.

1464
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,120
Speaker 2: His mouth was watering it. I looped up his ass

1465
01:11:41,360 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 2: and rubbed a loub all over my dildo. I traced

1466
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,920
Speaker 2: his crack with my dick and rolled the tip around

1467
01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:52,040
Speaker 2: his asshole. His body quivered. I started to push my

1468
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:55,200
Speaker 2: dildo into his ass and he let out a deep breath.

1469
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:57,880
Speaker 2: My clip jumped and I felt the wolf inside me.

1470
01:11:58,320 --> 01:12:03,400
Speaker 2: How ooh. My friend made eye contact with me from

1471
01:12:03,439 --> 01:12:07,040
Speaker 2: behind the camera and he says, Oh, he likes it.

1472
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:09,479
Speaker 2: He had a great view of my little bitch's face

1473
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:12,639
Speaker 2: and him. Being a gay man, he knew when a gig,

1474
01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:16,519
Speaker 2: when a guy was enjoying that ass. Fuck. Oh, oh

1475
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:20,799
Speaker 2: my god, this is so long. Wait this is okay, girl,

1476
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:25,479
Speaker 2: hold on, we might have just skip through some of this. Okay,

1477
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:28,880
Speaker 2: where's the howling? Okay, he loved the feed by way.

1478
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:31,439
Speaker 2: Wait wait wait wait, I continued to where is she

1479
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 2: gonna dildo this? Quickly I switched positions and made my

1480
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:36,439
Speaker 2: little bitch get on top to ride me, and I

1481
01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:38,800
Speaker 2: rubbed his on his chest and complimented how sexy he

1482
01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:41,400
Speaker 2: looked riding me. He looked, he looked. He loved the

1483
01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:44,000
Speaker 2: feedback in the dirty talk. It was so intense and passionate.

1484
01:12:44,200 --> 01:12:46,800
Speaker 2: We made heavy eye contact as he grinned deeper into

1485
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:58,240
Speaker 2: Oh god, Jesus, not grinned, Yeah, grinded deeper. It is yeah,

1486
01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:00,640
Speaker 2: this is I don't know, this is you like this

1487
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:04,519
Speaker 2: kind of porn? Though? Don't you pegging porn? No? Not really, no, okay,

1488
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:06,400
Speaker 2: because this is not turning me on. I don't like

1489
01:13:06,439 --> 01:13:09,760
Speaker 2: pegging porn. I like like bisexuals as part of it

1490
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:14,040
Speaker 2: is like the definitely like the little bitchness of it all. Okay.

1491
01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:15,760
Speaker 2: I fucked him slow and told him I want to

1492
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:19,080
Speaker 2: see him shoot his load on his chest, fucking him hard,

1493
01:13:19,120 --> 01:13:21,840
Speaker 2: stroking his cock fast, looking him in his eyes as

1494
01:13:21,840 --> 01:13:24,040
Speaker 2: I told him, you're such a good slut, talking all

1495
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 2: the dick, taking all the dicks like a good boy.

1496
01:13:26,880 --> 01:13:30,799
Speaker 2: Can't wait to find out who this is. I stroked

1497
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:33,519
Speaker 2: along with the rhythm and started to moan. He shot

1498
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:35,719
Speaker 2: his load and hid it all over his own face.

1499
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:38,559
Speaker 2: I screamed in ecstasy, mind blown that we had just

1500
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:41,519
Speaker 2: come together on the first time fucking. We all let

1501
01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:43,599
Speaker 2: out a laugh and a huge breath. I looked over

1502
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 2: and asked my roommate, did you get that on camera?

1503
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:53,360
Speaker 2: All of it? He said, what a downass roommate. Oh wow,

1504
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:59,240
Speaker 2: that's a good roommate. Oh god, the story gets worse.

1505
01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:01,519
Speaker 2: There's more. Wait, let me just read this last part.

1506
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:08,479
Speaker 2: Oh god wait. I let the man go shower while

1507
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:10,519
Speaker 2: my roomy and I sat on the bed and shook

1508
01:14:10,560 --> 01:14:13,000
Speaker 2: our head, blown away by what had just went down.

1509
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:15,800
Speaker 2: I knew then that Peggy was one of my all

1510
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:18,080
Speaker 2: time favorite things, and I was hooked on the power

1511
01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:20,439
Speaker 2: it gave me. I showed that video to anyone who

1512
01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:24,599
Speaker 2: would watch. Eventually, my backpack got stolen with my laptop

1513
01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:27,720
Speaker 2: and camera in it. I wonder if whoever stole it

1514
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:30,360
Speaker 2: got to see that video. I'd love to run across

1515
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:32,880
Speaker 2: it on some porn sites someday. Deaf great homemade film.

1516
01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:35,840
Speaker 2: The best part about the story. About seven years after this,

1517
01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:38,439
Speaker 2: I was a company Christmas party for my friend's work.

1518
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:41,519
Speaker 2: I was sipping a beer panting the room, and a

1519
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:44,960
Speaker 2: tall man caught my attention. His back was turned towards me,

1520
01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:48,000
Speaker 2: but something about the back of his head looked familiar.

1521
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:51,799
Speaker 2: He turned around and boom, it was my little bitch.

1522
01:14:52,479 --> 01:14:55,160
Speaker 2: We made a quick eye contact, and I got so

1523
01:14:55,280 --> 01:14:57,599
Speaker 2: flushed I had to turn around quickly. My friend noticed

1524
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:00,439
Speaker 2: my energy shift and asked what was wrong. Told her

1525
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 2: that that guy over there was the first guy I pegged,

1526
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:06,640
Speaker 2: and she was like Jason. She happened to work with

1527
01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:10,240
Speaker 2: his wife and daughter. I noticed they had left shortly

1528
01:15:10,280 --> 01:15:12,439
Speaker 2: after we made eye contact, and never saw my little

1529
01:15:12,439 --> 01:15:15,679
Speaker 2: bitch again. But I have made men my bitch since,

1530
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:20,639
Speaker 2: and they were always very grateful. How many bitches men?

1531
01:15:21,680 --> 01:15:24,040
Speaker 2: She has since made other men her bitch? Oh wow?

1532
01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:26,840
Speaker 2: You know? And they were always grateful for her for

1533
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:27,799
Speaker 2: her guidance.

1534
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the story of one determined bitch who was

1535
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:32,880
Speaker 1: going to figure out if that was her kinkin.

1536
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:35,679
Speaker 2: I did not read that first. Before reading, I also

1537
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:38,800
Speaker 2: didn't know how long it was. It was a novel. Wow,

1538
01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:41,519
Speaker 2: that was that's that's our first pegging. Oh no, it

1539
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:46,400
Speaker 2: was on second second pegging. We had one on Juneteenth.

1540
01:15:46,439 --> 01:15:49,639
Speaker 2: I'll never forget that one. That was a very important one.

1541
01:15:50,439 --> 01:15:52,360
Speaker 2: So that's it. That was it for our horror stories.

1542
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:54,519
Speaker 2: And if you have horror stories that you'd like to

1543
01:15:54,520 --> 01:15:57,160
Speaker 2: share on the show, please please message them. We need

1544
01:15:57,200 --> 01:16:01,679
Speaker 2: more horries. We need good juice, well written short horries,

1545
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:08,559
Speaker 2: like maybe like three paragraphs maximum. Send them to production

1546
01:16:08,760 --> 01:16:13,559
Speaker 2: at Good Mom's Bad Choices. Subject line, subject line horries.

1547
01:16:15,479 --> 01:16:21,400
Speaker 2: Mm hm, so I think that's a wrap, my friend. Yeah, ready,

1548
01:16:21,560 --> 01:16:28,439
Speaker 2: you're ready. I'm gonna go do yoga yoga. I'm gonna

1549
01:16:28,439 --> 01:16:30,840
Speaker 2: go do heatd yoga, drink alcohol water. What do you

1550
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:32,320
Speaker 2: go to heat yoga? In short?

1551
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:32,639
Speaker 3: Oaks?

1552
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:36,519
Speaker 2: A few different ones, different ones.

1553
01:16:36,920 --> 01:16:40,760
Speaker 1: I gotta be like, okay, Colon, tell our location, which

1554
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:41,400
Speaker 1: specific one?

1555
01:16:41,479 --> 01:16:46,559
Speaker 2: What time? My teacher? Anyone know our general vicinity? I

1556
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:50,920
Speaker 2: live in Alabama, guys, I actually don't live here. Well,

1557
01:16:50,960 --> 01:16:53,720
Speaker 2: this has been nice. I love you. I love you.

1558
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:56,840
Speaker 2: I love you very much. I love you very much too.

1559
01:16:57,280 --> 01:17:03,560
Speaker 2: And you're beautiful. You can have the best birthday ever. Whoa, whoa,

1560
01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:06,759
Speaker 2: wait a fine ass friend thirty something here I come.

1561
01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:11,360
Speaker 2: She's so fun. Oh my god, thank you. I'm excited

1562
01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:15,160
Speaker 2: for my birthday. It's it's good. It's life. I'm just

1563
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:18,720
Speaker 2: I'm getting better, bitch, I know I'm getting better. I'm not.

1564
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:23,280
Speaker 2: I know I'm getting better. And it's it's crazy. I

1565
01:17:23,320 --> 01:17:25,120
Speaker 2: think it's just more so like thinking about the more

1566
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:28,080
Speaker 2: moral mortality of life. I've been thinking about more, like damn,

1567
01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:30,960
Speaker 2: it's really short. It is short, and the bigger scheme

1568
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:34,320
Speaker 2: of things. That's sure being pleasure the whole time. Yeah,

1569
01:17:34,479 --> 01:17:36,479
Speaker 2: it's too short to be like mad about you. You

1570
01:17:36,479 --> 01:17:38,880
Speaker 2: don't even know why you're mad. Just be like, be happy.

1571
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,240
Speaker 2: This is the best ship ever. We're living a dream.

1572
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:43,800
Speaker 2: We're like, fight it for it. Yeah, fight to live.

1573
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:46,040
Speaker 1: If I'm gonna fight to be happy, to be healthy,

1574
01:17:46,160 --> 01:17:48,800
Speaker 1: to be happy and be having fucking fun, I'm gonna

1575
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:49,880
Speaker 1: fight for that ship because I.

1576
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:51,840
Speaker 2: Don't we don't know. It's a short.

1577
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 1: Span and hopefully like that radiates, you know, to our friends, circle,

1578
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:58,080
Speaker 1: to our kids.

1579
01:17:57,560 --> 01:17:59,840
Speaker 2: Like you gotta live a little. You gotta live a

1580
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:03,120
Speaker 2: lot every second, all day, every day.

1581
01:18:03,240 --> 01:18:06,000
Speaker 1: Babe out what makes you happy for real and do

1582
01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:08,840
Speaker 1: that whatever it takes.

1583
01:18:10,160 --> 01:18:15,720
Speaker 2: I'm a motherfucking philosopher. And on that note, DJ Jam

1584
01:18:15,800 --> 01:18:25,160
Speaker 2: Jam DJJ jam J Jam Pepe and Jam. Well, guys,

1585
01:18:25,280 --> 01:18:28,439
Speaker 2: make sure you go follow us on YouTube if you

1586
01:18:28,479 --> 01:18:32,960
Speaker 2: haven't watched this episode. We're fine. We all we do

1587
01:18:33,040 --> 01:18:35,080
Speaker 2: look cute today, we're looking cute. I feel like I'm

1588
01:18:35,120 --> 01:18:36,519
Speaker 2: like comfy comfy cash.

1589
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:39,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was kind of overcast today.

1590
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:41,400
Speaker 2: How do we always get the same memo? Are we

1591
01:18:41,400 --> 01:18:44,360
Speaker 2: both wearing baggy pants? And like we're Beyonce House of

1592
01:18:44,439 --> 01:18:44,840
Speaker 2: Dairy on.

1593
01:18:45,439 --> 01:18:48,400
Speaker 1: We have the House of Dairy on fucking alert system.

1594
01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:50,760
Speaker 1: It's built in alert system. It doesn't matter what. We

1595
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:54,040
Speaker 1: never discussed what we're wearing. It always goes together.

1596
01:18:54,120 --> 01:18:56,240
Speaker 2: Though. Every time someone the other day was like, did

1597
01:18:56,240 --> 01:18:58,040
Speaker 2: you guys plan this cheetah look, I was like, no,

1598
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:01,960
Speaker 2: we didn't. No, Like what do you think? I fucking

1599
01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:02,519
Speaker 2: called her and.

1600
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:04,920
Speaker 1: Said, hey, you're gonna you're gonna work out of dinner?

1601
01:19:04,960 --> 01:19:06,439
Speaker 1: So what are you gonna wear you're gonna rear treat

1602
01:19:06,439 --> 01:19:07,879
Speaker 1: a print O me too crazy?

1603
01:19:08,240 --> 01:19:10,200
Speaker 2: What the fuck would we look like doing that? That'd

1604
01:19:10,200 --> 01:19:14,080
Speaker 2: be crazy? Oh my goodness. Anyway falls on YouTube. Also

1605
01:19:14,120 --> 01:19:16,920
Speaker 2: go check out our retreat. We just launched two more

1606
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:20,040
Speaker 2: retreats in Coasta, Rica, So come hang out with your

1607
01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:25,439
Speaker 2: girls in February twenty twenty three and get chose natal

1608
01:19:25,520 --> 01:19:29,880
Speaker 2: chart reds. Do some healing, do some toerking, do some explorations,

1609
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:34,840
Speaker 2: hang out with us. Eat healthy, eat healthy, get better,

1610
01:19:34,920 --> 01:19:38,800
Speaker 2: feel better, look better, find friends. I just want like

1611
01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:40,920
Speaker 2: people look better too. Do you want to get like

1612
01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:45,839
Speaker 2: a real quick fine? Uh? Boast? It is I retreat.

1613
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:50,800
Speaker 2: I retreat like botas, it's like health. It's it's botox

1614
01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:53,759
Speaker 2: of the whole spirit. It's like juvenidi for your life.

1615
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:55,280
Speaker 2: It's Juvedim for your spirit.

1616
01:19:56,479 --> 01:20:01,200
Speaker 1: And like unlimited syringes for five days.

1617
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:01,800
Speaker 2: So many syringers, but they don't hurt.

1618
01:20:02,479 --> 01:20:06,200
Speaker 1: The non surgical botax of Costa Rica is so crazy.

1619
01:20:06,479 --> 01:20:08,960
Speaker 2: I came back looking eight years younger. Yeah, then the

1620
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:11,200
Speaker 2: effects last we like at least six months.

1621
01:20:11,439 --> 01:20:13,400
Speaker 1: If you go to the jungle and just nestle your

1622
01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:15,560
Speaker 1: feet in, you'll get so beautiful.

1623
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:20,479
Speaker 2: Look young again. Just lay in the sun for five minutes.

1624
01:20:21,240 --> 01:20:25,240
Speaker 2: Costa Rica is plastic surgery. Fuck plastic surgery. You go

1625
01:20:25,280 --> 01:20:27,479
Speaker 2: to Costa Rica. Fuck doc to Miami. You only need

1626
01:20:27,520 --> 01:20:31,960
Speaker 2: Costa Rica. Honestly, I do look sexier there. Absolutely me too.

1627
01:20:32,080 --> 01:20:37,599
Speaker 2: I'm moisturized immediately, I'm hydrated. I'm happy. I'm like I'm moving. Yeah,

1628
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:41,559
Speaker 2: I'm just moving, you know. An I clicked the link

1629
01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:44,759
Speaker 2: in this episode description to check out your to book

1630
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:46,840
Speaker 2: your next Botox Costa.

1631
01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:52,960
Speaker 1: Rica Surgical box trip, and check out our Patreon to

1632
01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:55,320
Speaker 1: be on our close friends and be included in our

1633
01:20:55,360 --> 01:20:57,800
Speaker 1: Discord community. There's a lot of things happening over there.

1634
01:20:58,080 --> 01:21:00,760
Speaker 1: They're doing some fellas, there's there's a lot of things

1635
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:01,400
Speaker 1: going on this show.

1636
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:03,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you've heard us talk about Discord a few

1637
01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:04,800
Speaker 2: times on this episode. If you don't know what it is,

1638
01:21:04,840 --> 01:21:07,759
Speaker 2: it's a community over there, So download the app, click

1639
01:21:07,840 --> 01:21:10,320
Speaker 2: the link for Patreon, and we'll add you to our

1640
01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:13,840
Speaker 2: Discord which is very much popping and they're fine friends

1641
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:17,320
Speaker 2: in your city, like minded people. There's a lot going on.

1642
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:20,000
Speaker 2: It's been The horri section on Discord has been going

1643
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:21,519
Speaker 2: nuts this week. I don't know if you've seen it,

1644
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:24,920
Speaker 2: it's shifted. There's a shift in the horrist section on discord.

1645
01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:28,240
Speaker 2: I just think I saw a little bit. I was like, whoa, Okay,

1646
01:21:28,360 --> 01:21:30,479
Speaker 2: we don't need Yoni xx no more. Huh.

1647
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:33,040
Speaker 1: They said, we're gonna get it in an all shut

1648
01:21:33,120 --> 01:21:35,960
Speaker 1: and whatever when it sounds a little bit xx.

1649
01:21:37,120 --> 01:21:40,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Anyway, we love you guys, and we'll

1650
01:21:40,439 --> 01:21:41,320
Speaker 2: see you next week.

1651
01:21:41,560 --> 01:22:00,240
Speaker 3: Bye bye.

1652
01:22:00,720 --> 01:22:03,680
Speaker 2: Likes Yo Ellena J.

1653
01:22:04,280 --> 01:22:08,280
Speaker 1: Solova record the Lallos and Elasti.

1654
01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:16,120
Speaker 2: They asked, mm hmm,