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Speaker 1: Don't answer the phone.

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Speaker 2: Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap. All right, scary,

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Speaker 2: it's the return of mister Michael Oppenheimer. Yep, here we go.

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Speaker 2: Jack wants a phone tap his grandfather, Jim. Jim hates

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Speaker 2: being interrupted watching his afternoon TV programs by telephone telemarketers.

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Speaker 2: So Jack wanted me to call him as Michael Oppenheimer,

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Speaker 2: our resident relentless telephone telemarketer, and then.

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Speaker 1: Later coaster Boy Josh makes a cameo, Oh my gosh, yes,

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Speaker 1: this is a good day after all.

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Speaker 2: In his phone tap day doo.

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Speaker 1: And really he's never been on a phone tap before.

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Speaker 1: I think he has.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer phone tap debut.

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Speaker 1: All right, here we go today's phone tap listening. Hello,

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Speaker 1: good afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with clamsfou dot com.

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Speaker 1: How are you doing today.

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Speaker 3: Sir, clamso dot job. I'm fine, I'm fine. What do

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Speaker 3: you want?

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Speaker 1: It is becoming a problem to get fresh seafood.

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Speaker 3: You're selling me something, right.

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Speaker 1: Our clams sell themselves.

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Speaker 3: Who the hell are you?

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Speaker 1: You are the leading seafood processing and distribution company and

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Speaker 1: we ship seafood direct.

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Speaker 3: To you well, I don't want no package seafood for you.

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Speaker 3: Send package seafood.

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Speaker 1: We send you seafood fresh. It is caught and shipped.

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Speaker 3: Listen to me, buddy, I don't have any time for

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Speaker 3: this all right? Goodbye?

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Speaker 1: Hello, This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with clams for you.

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Speaker 1: Don't you gotta be after six years?

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Speaker 3: You know, man, you gotta pail of balls calling me

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Speaker 3: back again. What the hell's the matter with you? I

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Speaker 3: told you I wasn't interested. I didn't want any seafood.

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Speaker 1: I eat clams.

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Speaker 3: I eat clams. You know you like Italian food.

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Speaker 1: I love Italian food.

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Speaker 3: Sir, eat my gi. Give up the damn phone. Goodbye.

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Speaker 1: Hello, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer. So we didn't even

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Speaker 1: tell you.

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Speaker 3: What do you guys? Do you only cold during lunch

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Speaker 3: and dinner? Don't you guys ever eat? Why did you

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Speaker 3: get a real wife's sakes?

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Speaker 1: We have a special today, sir.

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Speaker 3: Who the hell cares will do? I don't care about

46
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Speaker 3: your spec. How do I get food to you? Are

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Speaker 3: you hard a feeling?

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Speaker 1: Are you throwing a party anytime soon?

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Speaker 4: Sir?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll throw a body in your mouth. Get the

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Speaker 3: hell off the phone. And lead me along way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the daily staff on sixty nine clam shuckers working

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Speaker 1: round the clock to give you.

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Speaker 3: Why did to go shut yourself a get the hell

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Speaker 3: out of it, moron, Get a real job. Hello, this is.

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Speaker 1: Mister Michael Oppenheimer with clams for you dot com.

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Speaker 3: You got a set?

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Speaker 1: We have a daily catch for just forty nine ninety

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Speaker 1: nine for two dozen little necks and thirty nine ninety

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Speaker 1: nine for three dozen cherry.

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Speaker 3: Yet, Well, I think I'd like to put my hands

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Speaker 3: around your little neck and squeeze it a little bit.

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Speaker 3: You How did you get my phone number? Anyhow? You

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Speaker 3: we are.

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Speaker 1: Calling Italians today?

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Speaker 3: Oh? You call it all Italians? What's the matter with

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Speaker 3: everybody else who says I'm Italian? And what if I am?

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Speaker 3: And what if I'm not? Frederice son of a bitches?

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Speaker 1: We did a computer generated search for names that ended

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Speaker 1: in vowels, and yours came up at el ro.

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Speaker 3: Maybe your computer's not working right. I think your brain's

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Speaker 3: not working right. You know that's just something wrong with you.

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Speaker 3: How can you keep pulling the same person back time

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Speaker 3: and time again when they say that I'm interested? Because

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Speaker 3: you need a lobottomy or something. You are a crazy

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Speaker 3: son of a bitch.

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Speaker 1: Our research finds that Italians consume more clams than any

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Speaker 1: other nationality.

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Speaker 3: If I am it Talgian, I'm gonna find out where

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Speaker 3: you are, you stupid, and send somebody over there and

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Speaker 3: break your kneecaps. All right, then we'll see who's Italian

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Speaker 3: and who is it? I don't need yours. My wife

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Speaker 3: goes to the fish market every Friday and she gets

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Speaker 3: fresh fish right off that dock. What do I need

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Speaker 3: your frozen clam?

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Speaker 1: Your wife has the freshest clams.

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Speaker 3: My wife gets the freshest clams. She gets the freshest

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Speaker 3: coda everything my wife's got.

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Speaker 1: How's your wife's snapper?

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Speaker 3: My wife snapper enjoyed. She fries the people lazy. It's terrific.

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Speaker 1: If you act now, I'll throw in a free jar

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Speaker 1: of puntanesca sauce. Hello, sir, Our credo is to satisfy

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Speaker 1: the customers.

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Speaker 3: Manager on a phone, would you.

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Speaker 1: I'm in charge here?

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Speaker 4: Sir?

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Speaker 3: No, you're not in charge. They can't have an like

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Speaker 3: you in charge, but put your manager on the phone

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Speaker 3: transferring call.

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Speaker 4: Hello, who is it? This is Marty Schottenheimer.

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Speaker 3: I told you I want to speak to your boss.

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Speaker 4: So you're thinking of mister Michael Oppenheimer. I am mister

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Speaker 4: Marty Schottenheimer.

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Speaker 3: What you guys? You sound like zombies or something.

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Speaker 4: Who can I help you today? Sir?

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Speaker 3: Do you know that Dishmark has called me six times

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Speaker 3: already to sell me some phones and plans? I told

108
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Speaker 3: you guy ten times I'm not interested, and he just

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Speaker 3: keeps calling and call and now I want to register

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Speaker 3: a complaint.

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Speaker 4: You sound Italian, sir, and Italians enjoy class.

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Speaker 3: Well is this with you guys? With the Italians? Do

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Speaker 3: you sell to anybody but Italians? Are you there? You zombie?

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Speaker 3: Can you hear me?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I can hear you.

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Speaker 4: I can hear you.

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Speaker 3: I think you're a robot.

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Speaker 4: I'm Marty Schottenheimer.

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Speaker 1: I'm Michael Oppenheimer.

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Speaker 3: Now I smell around. I think somebody's schooling with me.

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Speaker 1: Here, sir.

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Speaker 4: It sounds like you need to keep clam and carry on.

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Speaker 3: But who is that? Who is there?

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Speaker 4: This is Michael?

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Speaker 3: And who's that? What do you like some clams today? Jack?

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Speaker 2: Hey, Jim, this is Scary Jones with Elvis Duran in

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Speaker 2: the morning show. And your grandson Jack is phone tapping you.

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Speaker 3: You know Jack, you son of a Dodd. You know

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you back for this, your little bastard.

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Speaker 1: And the Frank coaster boy Josh is Marty Schottenheimer.

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Speaker 3: What's up, Jim going guys? You know, the second he said,

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Speaker 3: Marty shot and like a bell went off and I'm

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Speaker 3: thinking I'm being pumped. Kids. Okay, well, this is Peyton

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Speaker 3: Manning when you guys are a bunch of schmucks hel

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Speaker 3: phone time.

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Speaker 4: This phone table was pre recorded quin permission granted by

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Speaker 4: all the

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Speaker 3: Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in the

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Speaker 3: Morning Show