Speaker 1: I won't let my body.
Speaker 2: I'll be outwait everything that I'm made don't won't spend
Speaker 2: my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning to love who I am. I you, I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: And then will always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 1: But yours in here. She'll some love to the food.
Speaker 1: Why there, say go day and did you and die
Speaker 1: out way? Happy Saturday, Outweigh.
Speaker 2: I'm Leanne Ellington, and I'm a friend of Amy's and
Speaker 2: the author and creator of Stressle Seating. And something cool
Speaker 2: that Amy thought of and asked me to do was
Speaker 2: to come be the resident guest host for the next
Speaker 2: five episodes of Outweigh, starting with today, where we're going
Speaker 2: to be diving into the topic of why your brain
Speaker 2: thinks it wants sugar. But before we dive into that,
Speaker 2: I wanted to just give you an idea of the
Speaker 2: wide array of topics we will be covering for the
Speaker 2: next few weeks. Because this whole conversation around food and
Speaker 2: our bodies and our health, well it's definitely this three
Speaker 2: dimensional subject matter. So over the coming weeks, we're going
Speaker 2: to cover lots of different aspects of this topic, things
Speaker 2: like is social media helping or harming your self esteem
Speaker 2: and your relationship with food in your body, why you
Speaker 2: stopped trusting yourself and how to earn back your own trust,
Speaker 2: why weekend self sabotage is a thing and what to
Speaker 2: do about it, and how to know if you're using
Speaker 2: food and exercise as a tool or.
Speaker 1: As a weapon.
Speaker 2: So those are just some of the things we'll be
Speaker 2: covering coming up on outweigh. But in the meantime, let's
Speaker 2: dive into today's topic, which is why your brain thinks
Speaker 2: it wants sugar. So what I'll be sharing with you
Speaker 2: today was really the missing link for me when I
Speaker 2: was healing from my own disordered eating and self image
Speaker 2: and body image struggles. It was the part of me
Speaker 2: who genuinely thought that I had an addiction to food
Speaker 2: and sugar, and the part of my journey that definitely
Speaker 2: carried the most shame. So, for those of you who
Speaker 2: don't know me, my struggle with food and my body
Speaker 2: started when I was taken to weight watchers at eight
Speaker 2: years old, and I carried it with me into adulthood,
Speaker 2: at one point reaching nearly two hundred and fifty pounds.
Speaker 2: So I just want you to know that wherever you
Speaker 2: feel like you are right now, I've been in my
Speaker 2: own food and body prison as well, so you know this.
Speaker 1: Isn't just me spewing information at you.
Speaker 2: I struggled and suffered with food and my body for decades,
Speaker 2: and that's why, really I'm so passionate about helping women
Speaker 2: and men. But people that are at war with food
Speaker 2: and their bodies just really rewire their brains to start
Speaker 2: a new conversation that leads to peace of mind and freedom.
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing.
Speaker 2: I learned, the same eat less, move more equation that
Speaker 2: I'm assuming a lot of you listening learned. And even
Speaker 2: though yes, I did technically lose a lot of weight, like, yes,
Speaker 2: I got there. I lost one hundred pounds, I got
Speaker 2: down to my lowest weight, and I could finally.
Speaker 1: Wear sleeveless haltertops any day of the week.
Speaker 2: But I never addressed my addiction like poll to food
Speaker 2: and sugar. So I still felt like I was a
Speaker 2: slave to dieting or a slave to exercise, because I
Speaker 2: would bounce from one extreme to the other, like I
Speaker 2: would diet and restrict until I couldn't take it anymore,
Speaker 2: and then the opposite, you know, carefree, abandonment, eating whatever
Speaker 2: I could get my hands on, and then feeling guilty
Speaker 2: or trying to out exercise my overeating. So I was
Speaker 2: the opposite of free. I was also the opposite of happy.
Speaker 2: I mean, you would think that after I lost a
Speaker 2: third of my body weight, I would feel beautiful and
Speaker 2: happy and free and all the things that I thought
Speaker 2: I would feel. But because I didn't address the self
Speaker 2: image and body image and the wiring in my brain
Speaker 2: that was causing me to think and act and feel
Speaker 2: and behave like I was fat or unworthy, or a
Speaker 2: failure or destined to stay this way forever, or whatever
Speaker 2: painful words I was using to myself. Yes, I lost
Speaker 2: the weight, but I brought all of my old habits, thinking,
Speaker 2: and behaviors with me, and so eventually I realized that
Speaker 2: I was never going to be able to outdiet, outwork
Speaker 2: or outsmart the wiring in my brain and in my
Speaker 2: self image, and that I was always going to end
Speaker 2: up right back in alignment with the story I was
Speaker 2: telling myself about myself, because the old food and body
Speaker 2: conversations that I had learned were what was weighing me
Speaker 2: down and perpetuating the problem. And that's what I now
Speaker 2: call the weight of the weight, because the weight on
Speaker 2: my body wasn't the real weight, right. It was all
Speaker 2: this other stuff that I was carrying around in my
Speaker 2: head and my heart that was really weighing me down.
Speaker 2: And so, coming back to today's topic, even after I
Speaker 2: lost all that weight, I still felt so out of
Speaker 2: control of sugar and food and I carried around so
Speaker 2: much shame around it because I truly thought I was
Speaker 2: an addict or something.
Speaker 1: But I also didn't talk about it because I was
Speaker 1: so ashamed.
Speaker 2: I thought it meant that I was messed up or
Speaker 2: broken or something to be ashamed of, like it was
Speaker 2: my dirty little secret, right, And that's because I didn't
Speaker 2: know what I'm here to share with you today. I
Speaker 2: didn't know that my brain was just doing what it
Speaker 2: got programmed to do. So let's talk about that, okay,
Speaker 2: Because for me, once I understood why I did what
Speaker 2: I did and why I felt this drug like poll
Speaker 2: to food and sugar when I was bored, sad, lonely,
Speaker 2: or stressed, that is when I finally understood that I
Speaker 2: wasn't crazy and I wasn't weak willed, and I wasn't
Speaker 2: truly an addict. My brain just got fired and wired
Speaker 2: to repeat a really specific pattern that actually had nothing
Speaker 2: to do with food or sugar. So before we get
Speaker 2: into that, first, I want to address this subject of
Speaker 2: self sabotage. Okay, because a I used to think that
Speaker 2: that is what I was doing and be. In the
Speaker 2: work that I do with women, this comes up most
Speaker 2: of the time for pretty much every woman I work with,
Speaker 2: and that's where I want to address self sabotage right
Speaker 2: out of the gate.
Speaker 1: So self sabotage as.
Speaker 2: We know it, it really is a myth because no
Speaker 2: one actively says, like I think I'm gonna actively sabotage
Speaker 2: myself right now. It doesn't really work that way, right
Speaker 2: what's happening to you is what I'm assuming was happening
Speaker 2: to me, and what was happening to all my clients.
Speaker 2: Because think about it, there's only so many times you
Speaker 2: can witness yourself committing to something or making a promise
Speaker 2: to yourself or making declarations like Okay, I'm really gonna
Speaker 2: cut out sugar this time, or Okay, this time it's
Speaker 2: really gonna be different, and then not following through. Before
Speaker 2: you start to wonder if there's something wrong with you,
Speaker 2: or if you are legitimately a self sabotager or witnessing
Speaker 2: yourself giving in like you know, abandoning your plan, or
Speaker 2: feeding into moments of weakness where one moment you know
Speaker 2: you're feeling strong and the next minute you're halfway through
Speaker 2: a package of oreos before you start to wonder if
Speaker 2: you really are actively sabotaging yourself, like there must be
Speaker 2: something wrong with you, because no matter what you do
Speaker 2: or what you try, your temptations always win, and discipline
Speaker 2: and willpower always lose.
Speaker 1: So I used to think the same thing about myself.
Speaker 2: I mean for years I thought I was self sabotaging
Speaker 2: until I learned what the real problem was. And the
Speaker 2: real problem was not in my mind, or it wasn't
Speaker 2: just in my mind, It was in my brain. And
Speaker 2: so here's where I want to introduce you to one
Speaker 2: of what I call the weight of the weights that
Speaker 2: I was telling you about earlier. And so it's the
Speaker 2: weight and of course I'm putting weight in air quotes,
Speaker 2: but it's the weight of your triggers. And what I
Speaker 2: mean by that is it's the weight of all of
Speaker 2: the physical, mental, emotional stress that if it's not released
Speaker 2: or addressed or like attended to, it actually triggers your deepest,
Speaker 2: ingrained habits, as in, that's how your brain works. Like
Speaker 2: when you're physically, mentally or emotionally stressed, it actually triggers
Speaker 2: your oldest habits. So how do we stop that? That's
Speaker 2: a million dollar question, right, So let's talk about that.
Speaker 2: So Amy gave me full permission to get a bit
Speaker 2: geeky with you, So we are going to get into
Speaker 2: a bit of brain science.
Speaker 1: But I promise I won't let my inner geek stray
Speaker 1: too far.
Speaker 2: Okay, So the way I explain it to my clients
Speaker 2: is that you actually have three brains that need to
Speaker 2: be taken care of and need to be fed.
Speaker 1: So you have a physical, mental, and.
Speaker 2: Social brain PMS. But the one I really want to
Speaker 2: talk about today is your social brain because that is
Speaker 2: the main brain that's housing emotional eating, stress eating, mindless eating,
Speaker 2: and all of the air quotes, you know, self sabotage
Speaker 2: that comes off the back of it.
Speaker 1: And here's what I mean by that.
Speaker 2: So a quick thing about the social brain or the ACC.
Speaker 2: It's actually called the anterior singulate cortex. But I just
Speaker 2: teach my clients to remember the three letters ACC which
Speaker 2: stands for acceptance, connection, and care. And that's because in
Speaker 2: order for your brain to feel safe, it needs connection,
Speaker 2: it needs belonging, inclusion, and actual human connection. So either
Speaker 2: feeling accepted, connected and cared for by yourself or from yourself,
Speaker 2: or buy and from others, like feeling that from others
Speaker 2: And guys, this is not just a desire, it's a require.
Speaker 2: It's not a want, it's an actual need. And so
Speaker 2: here's what I mean. So I'm going to kind of
Speaker 2: describe the cause and effect cascade that's happening in your brain.
Speaker 2: And you might not really know what's happening, but this
Speaker 2: is what I want you to really become aware of.
Speaker 1: So when you go to reach for sugar, or let's be.
Speaker 2: Honest, it's not always sugar, right, Like, sometimes it's wine
Speaker 2: or Netflix or mindless TV or online shopping or scrolling
Speaker 2: Instagram or you know, anything that numbs you out or
Speaker 2: distracts you or causes you to procrastinate. And trust me,
Speaker 2: we all have our own drug of choice and I've
Speaker 2: used them all right, there's no shame about it.
Speaker 1: But when you're reaching for your drug of choice.
Speaker 2: Your social brain your acc is actually looking for oxytocin. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's the love, comfort and emotional or psychologically safety hormone.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing, like we talked about, your social
Speaker 2: brain will get it because it's a it's a require,
Speaker 2: not a desire. But it's a matter of what you
Speaker 2: feed your brain. Because here's what's also happening. And again,
Speaker 2: this is that cycle that I mentioned that's happening without
Speaker 2: you knowing it. So, like we said, your brain requires
Speaker 2: connection oxytocin, right, the safety love connection hormone that we
Speaker 2: talked about. Instead, though in those moments, we feed ourselves food,
Speaker 2: mindless TV, mindless web scrolling, pulse of shopping, other you know,
Speaker 2: activities that numb, distract or comfort. So in turn, instead
Speaker 2: of giving our brains what it really needs, which is oxytocin,
Speaker 2: we're giving it endless amounts of the high. Right, like
Speaker 2: the drug, the dopamine serotonin payoff is what it's getting.
Speaker 1: But what we're truly desiring is connection oxytocin. Right.
Speaker 2: And in turn, that social brain is hungry for oxytocin
Speaker 2: because it's still not getting it. It's getting so much dopamine,
Speaker 2: but it's still not getting oxytocin. So essentially we are
Speaker 2: feeding you know, loneliness and sadness and stress and boredom
Speaker 2: with that kind of like fake connection like food TV,
Speaker 2: other drugs of choice. So in turn, we are staying
Speaker 2: over fed, but we're undernourished. Right, So let me see
Speaker 2: that again. We are overfed with dopamine but undernourished with
Speaker 2: what we really need, which is oxytocin. Right, And this
Speaker 2: is the vicious cycle that keeps happening over and over again.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so here's the other thing.
Speaker 2: Like if you're one of those people where if you're
Speaker 2: not on something, you're like really off of it, right,
Speaker 2: like off the rails, or if you're left to your
Speaker 2: own devices of overeating or binge eating or comfort eating
Speaker 2: or just filling a void of some sort with food.
Speaker 2: This is why, Okay, it's fired and wired in your brain.
Speaker 2: And that's why willpower or trying to outmotivate or white
Speaker 2: knuckle your way through it isn't working because it's never
Speaker 2: going to be solved with logic or reason because it's emotional.
Speaker 1: Right, it's in your brain.
Speaker 2: In fact, your brain is just doing what it's been
Speaker 2: programmed to do, which is require oxytocin and then expect
Speaker 2: to get that hit of dopamine in return.
Speaker 1: But also, guys, like if.
Speaker 2: You are taking care of everyone but you, and you
Speaker 2: always seem to be the last in line, and in
Speaker 2: turn you keep filling that void of your own needs
Speaker 2: with food or social media or Netflix or whatever your
Speaker 2: drug of choices, this contributes to that too, okay. But
Speaker 2: in reality, this is your brain just kind of, you know,
Speaker 2: lovingly screaming at you to feed at what it really needs.
Speaker 2: And that's why you have to address the underlying reasons
Speaker 2: that you're numbing and distracting and procrastinating or just comforting,
Speaker 2: because that is the weight of the weight, right, And
Speaker 2: that is what I mean when I say that your
Speaker 2: brain thinks it wants sugar, but in reality, it doesn't
Speaker 2: want sugar.
Speaker 1: It wants oxytocin.
Speaker 2: Okay, but it's been programmed and fired and wired to
Speaker 2: get sugar, and it's been programmed to live in a
Speaker 2: state of being overfed but undernourished. And side note, I
Speaker 2: just want you know, for clarity's sake, to mention there
Speaker 2: are other reasons beyond the scope of this episode that
Speaker 2: your brain might physically be craving sugar, so you know, like.
Speaker 1: Nutritional deficiencies and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: But what I'm really talking about here, and what we're
Speaker 2: focusing in on today's episode, is that when it's not
Speaker 2: a physical need, and it's not physical hunger, it's this
Speaker 2: emotional hunger, like you're not hungry, right. But the point being,
Speaker 2: and the big thing I really want you to get
Speaker 2: is that if you have that voice in your head
Speaker 2: that's telling you that you're crazy or weak willed, or
Speaker 2: a sugar addict or a self sabotage whatever that voice
Speaker 2: is saying, I'm here to tell.
Speaker 1: You that there is hope. Okay.
Speaker 2: Your brain simply got fired and wired to experience yourself
Speaker 2: alongside food and sugar in a really specific pattern, and
Speaker 2: you can unwire and rewire that anytime you choose. Okay,
Speaker 2: so obviously, like, yes, that is a process and it's
Speaker 2: a commitment. But I just want to let you know
Speaker 2: that if you do feel hopeless or like you're unhelpable,
Speaker 2: or maybe you're like I was, and you feel like
Speaker 2: you might actually be a sugar addict, I promise you
Speaker 2: that your brain is this mouldable, pliable, transformable thing, and
Speaker 2: there is hope.
Speaker 1: And these are the kinds of things.
Speaker 2: That nobody told me right, and I wish they'd did
Speaker 2: because it would have saved me decades of dead end
Speaker 2: roads and shame and suffering.
Speaker 1: So that is it for today, Outweigh. I hope you
Speaker 1: got whatever you needed.
Speaker 2: To hear today, and I hope this just opened your
Speaker 2: eyes to something that you weren't seeing. And if you
Speaker 2: liked what you heard today and you want to hear
Speaker 2: more about the process of rewiring your own brain, then
Speaker 2: head on over to Stresslessseeding dot com and you can
Speaker 2: sign up to watch the Stressless Eeding webinar, where I'll
Speaker 2: walk you through the exact five step game plan that
Speaker 2: my clients use to heal themselves from the all or
Speaker 2: nothing diet mentality for good, but you know, without restricting
Speaker 2: themselves and punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having
Speaker 2: to use words like Macro's low carb or calorie burns.
Speaker 2: So I've laid it all out for you in five
Speaker 2: easy steps over at Stresslessseeding dot com and if you
Speaker 2: liked today's episode, we will be back next week for
Speaker 2: more Outweigh, where we are going to talk about social
Speaker 2: media and if it's helping or harming your self esteem
Speaker 2: and your relationship with food and your body. And I'm
Speaker 2: actually going to give you an actionable plan to help
Speaker 2: you shield your energy and protect and foster your own
Speaker 2: self esteem and body image. So join me next week
Speaker 2: on Outwaigh for More Goodness. So I'm Leah Ellington and
Speaker 2: I'll talk to you then