1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This Cool Stratton 2 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: here filling in for Kevin Pollock, who wanted to be 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: here today, but I was given visitation rights to the podcast. 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: Let's meet her Alchemist Shelley in no particular orders, say 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: hello to everyone's favorite android, Joey Greer. Joey, what have 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: you been programmed to do to fuck ship? Oh? Man? Yep? 7 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: Next up. He's the world's biggest Imagine Dragons fan. Craig Kakowski, 8 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: huge fan, radioactive man. Yeah, Craig? What makes him so 9 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: goddamn appeeling? I think, uh, first of all the bass, 10 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: and then you add in the drums, you put guitar 11 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,639 Speaker 1: on top of that, and you had vocals. I think 12 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: you have a rock band, that's right, And they check 13 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: all those boxes all right. He's the CEO of the 14 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: Big Johnson T shirt company. Chris Alvarado. Chris, what new 15 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: edgy shirts have you drummed up for the holiday season? Nice? 16 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: Is what excited about that? I've heard? What is? Uh? Um? 17 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: So it's a shirt that doesn't fit you very well? 18 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: What's up? Because when you say it doesn't fit you 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: very well? Is it too big or too small? That's 20 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: the thing you don't know you said us your size 21 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: will send you a nil fitted shirts. And finally it's 22 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 1: the board game King of the USA James Heeney. What's 23 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: the best tabletopper out there? I think Tabletop Simulator on 24 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,279 Speaker 1: Steam is the best tabletop game there is now there. 25 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: It's it's great to have a tabletop experience in real 26 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: life with people, but you can play any tabletop game 27 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: over the Internet with anyone anywhere. Tabletop Simulator, get it now. 28 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: I don't think you answered this question. What was question? 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: I think it was like, what what's the best tabletop game? Okay? Well, 30 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: I like the game code names, especially if you're playing 31 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: with people from around the world, because their interpretations of 32 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: words can sometimes make the game. Saying here, I don't 33 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 1: have enough hours in my day to like eat enough meals, 34 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: and the idea that you spend all this time knowing 35 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: this and playing games is like, I'm envious at that 36 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: time you have. If you should come over sometime, I 37 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: don't have time, but we'd like to invite you to 38 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: become a v I P member or new Patreon page. 39 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: Bonus episodes not available to non members. There's a phone 40 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: number just for v I p s where you can 41 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 1: leave a message, be it tor, request, question or whatever 42 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: and we'll reply at our new regular video Q and 43 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: A with the Alchemists at Kevin's Place, which are only 44 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 1: available to the v I p S. It's all kinds 45 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: of cool ship, so please join our super core fans 46 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,679 Speaker 1: by going to Patreon dot com slash alchemy this. That's 47 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slash alchemy this. All of today's scene 48 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd like 49 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 1: to submit yours, please write to the podcast at your 50 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. Once again, your 51 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com for our first scene. 52 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 1: Hello Alchemists, you are all amazing. With all the laughter 53 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: you spread, it would be hard not to love you. 54 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: The only way I could love you more is if 55 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: you help me celebrate my brothers. I think thinks supposed 56 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: to be brothers, but it is father's birthday, but choosing 57 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: his in suggestion from one of your episodes suggestion cat 58 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: miners have fun with that and thanks again. Listening with 59 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: cheer kelby p S. James Heeney for president. Oh my gosh, 60 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: I should I should register. They'll be fine, all right, now, look, 61 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: we gotta make sure the mine is clear. Can we 62 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,359 Speaker 1: got a couple of tabby means over here that we 63 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: got a hit? All right? Now, look, we got two 64 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,519 Speaker 1: hours until we gotta go out of here. There's a 65 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: leak in the top set. Are you okay? On my back? Wait? Wait? 66 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: Get up? Yeah, I can't. I can't wait here. Let 67 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: me hoist jump on my shoulder. No, it's just sort 68 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: of here. How to take up your shoulders? Listen, there's 69 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: a lot of people counting on you. Delete. It's your body. 70 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: I think I might know what's wrong here, don Jim. 71 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: Our canary has that again, but it's because of the 72 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: cats keep eating it, so we don't have We don't 73 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: actually know what. We don't know if there's a gas 74 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: lake or not. It's just the cassine in the canary, 75 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: that's right. But based on what I'm seeing here, I'm 76 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: thinking there's some toxic fumes in this mind. You know 77 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: what I don't. I don't want to startle anybody, but 78 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: I feel like I can hear a tweeting from his throat. 79 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: Maybe he maybe he ate the canary over your shoulder. 80 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: We'll put him down down, Jim, Jim. Look, at that Jim, Jim, 81 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: did you eat the canary? Tell the truth? She was 82 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: looking pretty smug. Yeah. I don't have an analogy, but 83 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. Okay, bitch, we were counting on you, 84 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: all right, I see we killed Jim. Kill him or 85 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: you gonna put him out of his misery. I mean, 86 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but there's been a collapse at the cat mind. 87 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is catastrophic. Oh no, we're so 88 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: invested in this. Okay, Well, what's the what's the casualties? 89 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: And the casualties look like right now? About fifteen men 90 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: and cats? Oh god, no, is there anyone can leave 91 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,559 Speaker 1: them out of their laser? Point them to freedom or something. 92 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. We're working on a alternate mind thing 93 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 1: whenever shaft to get them up. I'm just so flushed 94 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: with everyone. I get it past. I don't know. It's 95 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 1: a tough time. We don't have terminology right now. The 96 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 1: investors are gonna freak. I mean, if they don't, they 97 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: don't have to know. Okay, they don't have to know 98 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: that the cat mind collapsed. Cap mind? What honey, what 99 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: are you guys talking about? Another? Go back to your 100 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: Canasta game? Are you sure? It sounds important. I heard 101 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 1: something about the mind collapse. The mind's fine, he's our 102 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: minds are collapsing. Over all the money we're gonna makeing. 103 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go finish this can I don't speak English. Okay, 104 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: see how place can? Asked by herself. Don't know how 105 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: she does it. That's amazing. Solo solo. So looking at 106 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: is not a four person game, it really is. She 107 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: pulls it out. She goes to different chairs as different 108 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: personalities per player. All right, man, look before we figure 109 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: out you get out of this mind, we need to, 110 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: uh first, make a couple of things. Clear, raise your hand. 111 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: If you're the oxygen, everyone, just save me the oxygen 112 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: you're getting. You're a cat? First, there's so much sitting here. 113 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,480 Speaker 1: I can't tell who's a man, who's a cat? Okay, 114 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: I can I can here. I can't see a cat. 115 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 1: I can't see arms being raised. I'm panicking here, I've 116 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: got Are you a cat or a cat? I swear 117 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: to I'm not a cat? Alright? Any question that the 118 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: human would only know it sounds good? Okay? Um who 119 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: won the Super Bowl last year the Patriots? Is that true? Alright? Jim? 120 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: Jim Now you may or may not eating a canary. 121 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: So are you a cat or are you a man? 122 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: You ate the canary? We eat birds, meat, turkey. That 123 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 1: he's breathing really heavily, like a calengar. Dohn want you 124 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: ask him a question? Only human one now? All right? 125 00:06:55,839 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: Uh in uh Okay, here's is a good question. Okay, 126 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: the highway flooral five? Which direction? Does it go on 127 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: a compass? The California Highway? Yes, on a compass? Which 128 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: if you had a language stone, and if I had 129 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: the language stone, whips way with the four? Alright, alright, 130 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: I think it's one more person when you gotta ask Larry, 131 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: I'm insulted by the question. We've worked together in this 132 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: gap mine for twenty years. I'm never seriously as I've 133 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: never seen outside. Okay, you're always covered and so it 134 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: I can't tell. Look. I do doubles, I do triples. 135 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: I work long hours here in the mine. That doesn't 136 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: sound to me like he's really defied to find whether 137 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: he's a can't really die here? Okay, you want me 138 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: to ask him a question? Ask you a really good question. 139 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: Mine fell flat a little bit. I don't know. I 140 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: think yours is pretty good all right, here's a good question. Uh, 141 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: it's the difference between geometry and algebra. What I don't 142 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: know that I don't know. I don't know. I didn't 143 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: go to school. I'm a cat miner for God's Okay, okay, 144 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: question guys, guys, I found I found a passage of 145 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: small too small passage. But I found a passage. But 146 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: here's the rub that goes through the dog cavern. Well, 147 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. I could go through dog cavern. 148 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: I lets jump to Uh, it's not too rash here. 149 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: Why would you be afraid of dogs? I'm not afraid 150 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: of dogs. I'm saying it's small. It's a small passageway. 151 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: So you're the goddamn Maybe you're the goddamn cat. Ask 152 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,559 Speaker 1: me any goddamn question. Why did you just poop in 153 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: that sand over there? Yeah? Okay, Now I answer all 154 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: the questions one at a time. Okay, so hold on 155 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: just one. My kids want cats for Christmas. Okay, we're 156 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: gonna be cats for Christmas, cats for Christmas. I'm gonna 157 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 1: just answer that one right out of the the gate. Okay, 158 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: we all want cat answer my questions. I'm gonna answer 159 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: these questions at a time. Okay, we all want cats 160 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: for Christmas? Will there be cats? But listen, I will 161 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: answer all of these questions one at a time. We 162 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: have a team going down there making sure the cats 163 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: are safe. Okay, those are our priorities, Sir, Sir, sir. 164 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: Will there be a new Jingle Cats album this year? 165 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: With the collapse in the mind? Look, we all want 166 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,079 Speaker 1: a new Jingle Cats album? Alright, we all want that. 167 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: I'm gonna answer these questions one at a time. This 168 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: town depends on supplying cats to the world market. Yes 169 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 1: it does, Yes it does. Now I'm gonna answer these 170 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: questions one at a time. All right, a couple of things. One, 171 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: we're on break, So go ahead and down, lick yourselves 172 00:09:52,120 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: and check. I've gotten word that the cat mine is collapsed. Good, good, 173 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: Well it's good because we hate them, but cat but 174 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:11,199 Speaker 1: it's uh, it's better because there's free cats over there. Free. 175 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 1: The only problem is would have to go through the 176 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 1: through the human hole to get to the cat. Human. 177 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: I'm not going through a human hole. Why what aren't 178 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: you a dog miner? Dog? A minor dog miner. I'll 179 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: ask you one question only dogs would know. Okay, all right, 180 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,840 Speaker 1: are you a good boy? Are you good boy? Are 181 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: you good boy? All right? Okay, I'm good boy. I'm 182 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: man's best friend. Holes okay, human holes guys. The veterinarian 183 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: told me, I have black lung. Huh. Vey told me. 184 00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:06,319 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Um, you're you're just We're gonna have to 185 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: restend your minding card. You're not you're not able to 186 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: mind a take. I'm sorry. You can't have a dog 187 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: with a job. Maybe you can catch or something, but 188 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: you can't take anymore. I'm sorry, too old to catch. 189 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,319 Speaker 1: I can't jump no more. All I know how to 190 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: do is mine for coal. If a dog mine, then 191 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,959 Speaker 1: we're gonna have to put you down. How are you 192 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,679 Speaker 1: gonna do it? We got a couple of ways. Um, 193 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: one this we can strangle you. Okay, I'm gonna pass 194 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: on that one. Okay, it's two more so. The other 195 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: one that we we stab you in your stomach and 196 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: just let it bleed. Well, I'd rather be joke to 197 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: be honest. Okay, we already passed. You killed the vet? 198 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: Killed the vet? Here a man? Whoa? That's you know? 199 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:54,839 Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like across a line. I got a 200 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: taste for human. Now you're a were wolf. Well, we 201 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 1: could use that. I'm not a were wolf kind of 202 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: wear woman. Wish for sure a werwolf. He's eating people. 203 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: I'm not true. I'm not a werewolf. A dog miner. 204 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: Why don't we use this, Why don't we go to 205 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: the human mind where they're mining cats take over? Okay, 206 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 1: let's have the worold from the back. I don't think 207 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: he's actually dog like just tasted human blood. I'm just saying, 208 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: that's like a big step. That's a big step forward, 209 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: like human best friend werewolves or men who turned into 210 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: wolves once a month. I don't know. I don't know that. 211 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I'm just saying, no, 212 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: he's just got a misapprehension about what a werewolf. I 213 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: think I know a world, all right. I'm just saying. 214 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: I'm just saying I don't. I don't want to point, 215 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: like pause or anything, but like, excuse me, O, Hi, 216 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 1: take my helmet off. What's a cat? What's a listening 217 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: a cat miner? This is a cat miner? Has your 218 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: man have heard? We're not doing so well over there, 219 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,599 Speaker 1: and it seems like the humans are going to just 220 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: stick dynamite into the entire mountain save themselves and get out. Now. 221 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 1: I know this is against what we normally do, but 222 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: we're wondering. I speak for all the cats in the mind. 223 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: There's over three thousand of us in this money. If 224 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: you would want to join forces and take over the humans, 225 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: I mean, you obviously have a werewolf here. Seems like 226 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:37,319 Speaker 1: a werewolf. All of you guys discuss, but they need 227 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: the four of us. I want to eat that. I 228 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:45,080 Speaker 1: didn't want to eat that. Cor Yeah, that's a good point. Also, um, 229 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: there's five of us, and I know you don't like 230 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 1: me that much, but I still count. He's talking about 231 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 1: the wolf of my own insecurities. Suff suff sure, what 232 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: what you need? There's been a shaft collapse in the 233 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: cab mine. Shaft collapse in the mine. I was on TV. 234 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,559 Speaker 1: I don't know if you've heard. I don't watch television 235 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: if it doesn't come in print and it doesn't come 236 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:14,080 Speaker 1: in my worldview. Look, sorry, I understand. Are you just heard? Okay? 237 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: I just they're thinking about dynamiting it, but they don't 238 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: have dynamite. Sheriff, Sheriff, there's a shaft collapse. Heard you heard? 239 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: What are you doing here, Ralph? I was just get 240 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: telling about the cheft collapse. I saw you running ahead 241 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: of me, but I didn't think that you were also 242 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 1: going to the sheriff. Yeah, well, I feel like a 243 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: real shaff Never mind, guys, I'm gonna go home. What 244 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: is no No, I'm like party, I'm always time crying. Third, 245 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: it's about the shaft collapse that first question. Boys, I 246 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: got a big old cardboard box of dynamite on the 247 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 1: bottom floor of the Sheriff's department, and you can just 248 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 1: go get it. It'll help you out real quick. Okay, 249 00:14:55,720 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: so we we grabbing today. Sorry, not so fat my golf. 250 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: Y'all want to play with dynamite? Listen, you don't have 251 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: a finger left on your stubs. I don't think you 252 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: should be playing with the man for the job. I 253 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: know what this dynamite better than anyone of you men. 254 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 1: He's been around more than I. He's trying to scratch 255 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: the chalkboard, but he's got no fingers. Well, but I 256 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: can't imagine what to effect that would happen. Is you 257 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: want to take this dynamite, you gotta take me with you. 258 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: It looks like he's drilled holes in his stumps so 259 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: you could fit a stick of dynamite in there, bingo. 260 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: So he just hangs out by the dynamite all day 261 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: waiting to get called in action. It's yeah, yeah, well 262 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: today's your lucky day. Thank you, sheriff. I'm not going 263 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: down to the mine. You're gonna have to find somebody 264 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: else to go with you. Well, we got three town criers, 265 00:15:53,240 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: but do we have three town a lot of time 266 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 1: down here thinking you're none of my guy. You don't 267 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: need to worry about that. It makes me feel weird. 268 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: Stay in your l you're good man, they're good. You 269 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: bring the news, but can you bring the booms? You 270 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: bring the news, but news that's you. You bring the news. Okay, 271 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: so I got good news and band news. Okay, everyone, 272 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 1: listen up, listen up, okay, listen up. I'm started cutting 273 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: these cats, and I started wearing their skin, okay, because 274 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: maybe maybe the gods of the cats were thinking one 275 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: of them and saved us. Okay, at cat skins. Look, 276 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: there's everyone, just everyone just wearing when I made one 277 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: for everybody. These are too small. My hands are coming 278 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: out there. I'm not gonna wear a cat. It's fine. 279 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: I'll just wear a cat. Kitty cats. So the good 280 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 1: news is that dogs are going to help us. The band. 281 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: News is that guy's wearing us. Your meal. Don't be 282 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,400 Speaker 1: so cute, your eyes are so big and watery. Meal 283 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: mean meal, mial. Don't forget you're a killer. You're a murderer. Muffins, murderer. Meal. Yeah, 284 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: so here come the dogs. I see him. Oh no, 285 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: there's a werewolff. There's a wolf wolf. Look at me, 286 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 1: look at my team. Relaxed you and relaxed you. This 287 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,880 Speaker 1: is good. All right, I'm one of you. I don't 288 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 1: know what to do. I don't know what to do. 289 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: You're not a cat, you're a human. Oh my cat. 290 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: I like eating you meal meal dyne in my hands, 291 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: mean little wait like smell sausages this way. Don't go. 292 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: Don't go with a trick. It's not a trick. Sausages ever, trick. 293 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: Just there're sausages here, there's just this is good, Hey, 294 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: little puppies. Was this guy's story? Smells like sulfur? You 295 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: have human? Don't you know? I'm not human? Man, watch 296 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: this trick. I'm gonna stick these dynamite sticks into this 297 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 1: snausage sticks snausage. So we didn't have to come. I 298 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 1: don't know what this is. Oh, we have to like 299 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: thee I don't. I don't have any fingers. Here we go, 300 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: here boy, here boy, I went out and that our 301 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: first sad. We'll never know if they escaped them. I 302 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 1: wonder how that ended. I know to find out some 303 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: other week. When somebody suggests got to join the patren. 304 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it should be a yeah. We only end 305 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: our scenes on Patriots. Join the Patreon to find it 306 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: who won the super Bowl. Also, I'd be happy to 307 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: have some fan fiction right in and they can finish 308 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: the ending. It's gonna get so sexual so fast. You 309 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 1: gotta ship the dogs and cats. Everybody said that. Before 310 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 1: we get to our next scene, we want to tell 311 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: you about a way Away creates thoughtful products built for 312 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 1: the way modern travelers see the world. They started with 313 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 1: the perfect suitcase, and now they offer a range of essentials, 314 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 1: all of which will make your travels more seamless. You know, 315 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado has one of these bags. They're awesome. I do, 316 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: They're really awesome. I have the bigger carry on which 317 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 1: can still fit in the overhead apartment in a plane. 318 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: And recently I went on a trip where I had 319 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 1: a layover in Vegas. Not a big deal, but honestly, 320 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: it was such a pleasure to walk around with this 321 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: bag that three sixty spinning wheels, has the battery charger 322 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,200 Speaker 1: and everything so you can charge your phone. It's a 323 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,440 Speaker 1: dream and their attention to detail is very satisfying to 324 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 1: my particular brain. And I got it in green, which 325 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: are sually wouldn't do music a black bag. Guy. It's 326 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: such a subtle, beautiful green. I'm so so thrilled with 327 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,160 Speaker 1: this bag. And it's got a t S A approved 328 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,920 Speaker 1: combination lock to keep your belonging safe so as you 329 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 1: head through security, if the t S agents are making 330 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 1: sustained eye contact and giving you know. That's why all 331 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 1: of the Way's suitcases are thoughtfully designed to last a lifetime, 332 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: with durable exteriors that can withstand even the roughest of 333 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 1: baggage handlers. And I'll tell you they are rough bagage. 334 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 1: There's a hundred day trial and everything away makes everything. 335 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,399 Speaker 1: Take the product out on the road and live with it, 336 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: travel with it, marry it. I don't I don't care 337 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: what you do with it, get lost with it for 338 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: a hundred days. If you decide it's not for you, 339 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: you can return any non personalized item for a full 340 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:49,360 Speaker 1: refund during that period. Now if answer esterex, well, if 341 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 1: you're on the fence at all, don't be now because 342 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,959 Speaker 1: we've got a great offer for you. That's right. If 343 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 1: you get twenty dollars off any suitcase or bag, visit 344 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: away travel dot Com slash alchemy and use Momo code 345 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: Alchemy during checkout. That's twenty bucks off. So go to 346 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: away travel dot Com slash Alchemy and use promo code 347 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: Alchemy during check out. All right, here's our second scene. 348 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 1: Hey alchemists, just want to say, out of all the 349 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of podcasts I have to choose from, 350 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: yours is the one I go to as soon as 351 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,119 Speaker 1: it lands in my feed. Kudos to Kevin for somehow 352 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 1: gathering the perfect cast for this project. I can't choose 353 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: a favorite, but when the Australian New Orleans or Stone 354 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: Cold Steve Austin voice makes an appearance, I lose my ship. 355 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,880 Speaker 1: My scene suggestion a real life Magic School buses made 356 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: and a few unlucky contest winners get to be the 357 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,159 Speaker 1: first to test it out. Ps the ideas someone mentioned 358 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 1: about making animated skits from parts of the show should 359 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: definitely be a thing. Caleb. Alright, so y'all I have 360 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: a ticket. Yeah, yeah, that's great. I was expecting it 361 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: to be more like the books. You don't look like 362 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: you don't look like the teacher from my miss Fristle. No, no, 363 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: I don't. You're missing It doesn't matter. I'm missing a 364 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 1: testicle on half of my penis. You want to know you? Yeah, 365 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: I was talking about the never mind, like your g 366 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: like my grill. These are my real teeth. Yeah, that's 367 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: my thought. Yeah that's porcelain. So yeah, it cost me 368 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: a lot, alright, and I regret doing it because that 369 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 1: money's wte. I should have just had no teeth and 370 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 1: drink soup, like my goddamn sister said. All right, now, 371 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: what what do y'all want? You want to just get 372 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,399 Speaker 1: on the bus or sleeping there? I know then this 373 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 1: contest was about to just this is a magic school bus. Yeah, 374 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: it's magic Buzz. You're gonna have a teacher join you 375 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 1: or some ship. I don't know that you're not the teacher. 376 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. Look, I just look over the lot 377 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: and they told me that Buzz is coming a whole 378 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 1: bunch of kids with some kind of coupon or I 379 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 1: don't look, man, just get on the damnus alright, kissing right, No, 380 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: I put you down when you get on the bus. 381 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: All right. Look that bus has got damn magic. I 382 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 1: gotta say this, alright. I've been around this parking lot 383 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: for a long Look this thing just shrinks down, jumps 384 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 1: up through time. I've seen it going to humans and such. 385 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: It's a terrifying vehicle. I warn you young people. Now, 386 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: what if you go inside there? Yeah, they are. That's 387 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 1: another skin condition I have. Okay, half of my liver 388 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: was taken from me by a chimpanzee. I don't remember 389 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: much of the store, but I remember this zolt alright. 390 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 1: I lost two houses in that goddamn that with the 391 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: bus has a lot to do with it, all right. Now, 392 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 1: look you getting side that bus. There's switches, and there's 393 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 1: buttons and knobs that don't want to be preston pulled, 394 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 1: and I recommend doing them all. Hell, you want to 395 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: live once. I know that's a contradiction from what I 396 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: said earlier with my warning, but I'm gonna funked up. 397 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,679 Speaker 1: So if you boys and some girls want to get 398 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 1: on there and have some fun, then, so be it. 399 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: I don't mind. This is my parking lot. How's so poetic? 400 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: There's switches and buttons and knobs that don't want to 401 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 1: be preston pulled. Alright, my ants are washed. Alright, I 402 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 1: leave if you do it. Children, Okay, maybe the driver 403 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,399 Speaker 1: is already on the bus. Maybe hey, sorry, some girls 404 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 1: were late? Some girls? Is this the school bus competition? 405 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: There's contest winners thing? May I don't know. My mom 406 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: just gave me this ticket and tell me to come here. 407 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:24,159 Speaker 1: Lucky okay, cool nipping? Yeah, yeah, the chocolate bars and 408 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: toffee toffee, but that's more expensive. It's small. Yeah, I know. 409 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 1: Why do you tell them we're all around town? I'm 410 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: not a prison or anything that's impressive. Can we sit 411 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,920 Speaker 1: next to you? Look when I sit around town that 412 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 1: I included the prison in that. Yeah, sit next to me. 413 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: You have to understand that bus cannot leave the lot. Okay. 414 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,199 Speaker 1: It's magic is too powerful. It'll corrupt anyone who goes inside. 415 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,120 Speaker 1: But I've dealt with a lot of magic over the years. 416 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 1: I should be able to contain it and wield and 417 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,880 Speaker 1: I'm a wizard. Stand this is beyond anyone's control. It's 418 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 1: science and magic. Do you understand that I've been working 419 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: at the Magic Castle for years. I should be able 420 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,639 Speaker 1: to wield the power of a magic school. You are 421 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: shaking so much. You're shaking so much. I'm an old wizard. 422 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: I am sorry. I didn't Mestico. You know we we 423 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 1: added a wizard to the school board a couple of 424 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,520 Speaker 1: years ago, just because there was public demand for it. 425 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 1: To be honest, I haven't really seen you perform any 426 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,920 Speaker 1: magic or stop any other magic from happening. Oh well, 427 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,680 Speaker 1: I haven't seen anyone trying to do magic that I 428 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: needed to stop. Are you taunting me up? A frog? 429 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,399 Speaker 1: I was backing you up? Sorry, ah, turn him into 430 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: a frog. He was backing me up. I don't mean 431 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to turn me into a frog. Nope, Bob, 432 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 1: I'm not going to just show me the way to 433 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 1: the Bobstico, just turn me into a frog. It's fine, listen. 434 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: I'm what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna turn both 435 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,640 Speaker 1: of you into frog. But I'm gonna make you think 436 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:08,000 Speaker 1: I didn't. Okay, nothing, you don't think I did. But 437 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 1: school lorder, school board lawyer coming through school board lawyer. 438 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,360 Speaker 1: All right, I have a briefcase here opening said briefcase. 439 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: There are the waivers. The parents have signed it. It 440 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: doesn't matter what happens to the children. We are covered. 441 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 1: So show me the weight of the ball regardless of 442 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 1: being covered. Don't you feel that there's some kind of 443 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 1: like moral ethical the leamit that we're facing it that 444 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 1: even though we know what is, we still have to 445 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 1: do something about it. Look that the children and in 446 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,880 Speaker 1: the competition of rules said that if they're sold enough, 447 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 1: they are promised to be shrunken, sent through time and 448 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 1: push and pull levers and buttons that don't want to 449 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: be pushing. They understand about kids don't know what they're 450 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: actually getting in. Do they think it's part of a game? 451 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: This is this is science and math? You do here exactly? Okay, 452 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: well I clean right now, but I have a closer 453 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 1: magic act. I really think it is important, and I 454 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 1: think yeah, and I think that like given the right opportunities, 455 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: and you want to us all fairness, I'm a wizard 456 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 1: at best, be a wizard's apprentice. I'd love to what 457 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,639 Speaker 1: you do enjoy close up magic? Would you like to 458 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 1: see it? I'm sure what with coin cards? So if 459 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: you Look at these cards right here. You'll see that 460 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: there's a coin inside of them. Okay, already feel the 461 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: card in the coins now everyone put that inside these 462 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 1: cups here, card in the cup, card with the coin card. 463 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get some water here. Okay, look at this. 464 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna drink that's real, it's real water. And then 465 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pour it into the cup here. Okay, now 466 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna shake up all the cops. Now, now which 467 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: card hold? I forgot to ask you do remember your 468 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 1: cald on? Let me do this again. Good afternoon. Children. 469 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 1: Do not push, not puomy. That is the main thing 470 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:56,159 Speaker 1: being a lover or a button ai? Oh my gosh, 471 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,399 Speaker 1: can I push one button? No? Do not push? Not 472 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: pull me? What would happen you go through time? What 473 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 1: about this just makes noises? Is that that? But makes noise? Yes? 474 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: Thankfully that's the party horn, that's the one you can 475 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 1: What about this one here? Oh my god? I should raise? 476 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: Where are we? Where we are? What strange contracted? Is this? 477 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: We go to real sing Gabriel Elementary School? What what 478 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: be that? It's a high school, elementary school, it's a 479 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: there's a they're attached. Okay, they're attached be nights in 480 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: some strange army. No, no, we're just we're just kids. 481 00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: Well I will have I can press this button. Well, 482 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 1: you've done it, children, you've messed up the time continued. 483 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,280 Speaker 1: Everything has changed now, mmy. We were in the Middle 484 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 1: Ages for like five minutes. That was enough. Jimmy stid Jimmy. 485 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 1: So what's different now the present? Let's find out. No, no, no, 486 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: I want to go back in time. I want to say, Jimmy, please, 487 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 1: you saved the cat mine from collapsing, that old cat mind. 488 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 1: But from in the eighties. Collapse, that's what that's what happens. 489 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 1: The man responsible for the mind collapsing was the great great, 490 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 1: great great great great grandson of that night. Then I've 491 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 1: never had children again because he felt so bad about 492 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: killing a child aboard a bus. Whoa, there's so many 493 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 1: cats here. I don't see any people though, And Jimmy 494 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: is still dead. That's the thing. There are no people anymore. 495 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 1: It's just cats now, all right. We can't fix this, guys. 496 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: We gotta fix it now. Somebody's got to stop that kid. 497 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 1: I'm pulling this Leverick. That was the sounds of Halloween. 498 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 1: Button push the one he pulled before. That's the time drowning. Okay, 499 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 1: where are we look at? There aren't more beings Humo pods. 500 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: Let the Humo pads come out of the box. This 501 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,959 Speaker 1: must be the future. Well we go to the future. 502 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 1: That's not gonna help Jimmy still dead. Once, use our 503 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 1: rank and to make this bus flown. Who yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello, 504 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 1: hello hello? What years? I have a new trick I 505 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 1: want to present to the forward. Is the time for 506 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 1: trick presentation of animal? Yeah, let's let us see the track. 507 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: I have two tricks I would like to present. Okay, 508 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: show the first trick. First. First one is two psychoronian chords. 509 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 1: I like the idea, so tie them together and watch 510 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: us then fold on itself. Wow, like space and time. 511 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 1: The second one is I would like to present and 512 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: perform at birth with myself. Oh man, I will just 513 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 1: date a young one and then push out immediately. You 514 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: kids shouldn't see this gets okay, while we're flying through 515 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 1: space and time, buttons and leverage, person, Yes, tell me 516 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,120 Speaker 1: exactly where we need to go to make Jimmy come 517 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 1: back alive. I wish I had all the answers. Children. 518 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,920 Speaker 1: Let me see let's go back to the coordinates that 519 00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 1: you want to before. Perhaps you can chase the outcome 520 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: with an Okay, who would you know us? You heard him? 521 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,640 Speaker 1: Oh yes, that's right. Oh sorry, that's just my standard 522 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: greeting will be. I don't remember that. And I feel 523 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: bad about killing your friends. Gallant Night, I once again 524 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: asked you to not tell the story of the magic 525 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 1: thing that appeared and you stabbed a child a magic bus. 526 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 1: A bus is a crazy old man, a fool, gallants Night. 527 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: I swore to never have children because I felt so 528 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: bad about killing that child in front of his friends. 529 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: Look when you keep on telling the story, always telling 530 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: the story at a feast, and everyone look at me. 531 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: I saw a magic boost up here, and then I 532 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: stabbed a kid. And then while we're eating, we have 533 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 1: to hear you talk about how you cut your own 534 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 1: ticket balls off to not have kids. This is the 535 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: food thing we're said here. They are other dicken balls. 536 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,600 Speaker 1: I have presumed they are so shriveled and disgus. At 537 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,400 Speaker 1: least this was a while ago. He killed them, Gallant 538 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: to Night, I don't bring them to dinner. My god, 539 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 1: MENSI school boss, we were wrong. The tagalogue I didn't 540 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 1: want you to see that. Let's go back to just 541 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,520 Speaker 1: before nut ago, that would make sense. I suggest that 542 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: how we go, Jimmy, you're alive, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. 543 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: Here's the thing, Jimmy, I saw hell. What's he like? 544 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:48,320 Speaker 1: Jimmy's burning. Jimmy, you have to listen to me. Listen 545 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: to me. That door is going to open it A 546 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: night's going to be there, and he's in a wild. 547 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: The sword we have to come up with a way 548 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 1: to kill the knight just makes the night like kids? Okay, 549 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: them a craft really quickly? What's strange? Vehicle? No? No, no, 550 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:11,840 Speaker 1: no no? Why is he freaking out? We beat no 551 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 1: fairies of fatherhood, of motherhood, fairies of fatherhood. I know 552 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: not what you speak of. Let's get out of here. 553 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,800 Speaker 1: So what I think happened is Jimmy's alive, but we 554 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,839 Speaker 1: still killed the night, so he'll never have a kid. 555 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: To save the mine from collapsing. Right, Maybe some girls 556 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:45,080 Speaker 1: have an idea throw my help us out. I was 557 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,759 Speaker 1: on my phone. I can't. I'm sorry. I'm not sure either. 558 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: What's been going on? Guys, they're not good at step subjects. 559 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 1: That's so not true. That is so not true. That 560 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 1: is been awfully quiet this whole time. Well, we've been 561 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 1: traveling all over I've been getting do you know why, 562 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,320 Speaker 1: because I'm trying to discover what the difference between algebra 563 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 1: and geometry is. Okay, once you create that branch the 564 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,920 Speaker 1: total human question, the math community will shutter at my greatness, 565 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 1: Like why don't you guys go back to wherever you 566 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,440 Speaker 1: want before? I'm like, we'll chime in this time and 567 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: try to help. Yeah, okay, okay, what this strange vehicle? Girls, Hey, 568 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: so we're like super deities and ship and like we're 569 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,920 Speaker 1: like coming from like God in Heaven. To let you 570 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,240 Speaker 1: know that, like talk, we're angels, so like totally respect 571 00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:38,879 Speaker 1: us angels. Cut off your dick and balls and sacrifice. 572 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 1: Abraham almost killed this son. This is like kind of 573 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: like the same thing. So like do it or like 574 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: you're gonna be like turned to like a pillar salt 575 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,520 Speaker 1: and shut. Yeah, that's totally true. Wait night before you 576 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 1: do that, girls, real quick to If he does that, 577 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,120 Speaker 1: then he doesn't have kids and then no one saves 578 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 1: the cat mine from collapsing. Oh my god, what why 579 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,360 Speaker 1: are you telling this now? You just told us to 580 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 1: jump back into We told you we were out of 581 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 1: the what. Look, it's just come with us, just come 582 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:15,640 Speaker 1: with come to heaven, just heaven. Yeah kind of. It's 583 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:19,879 Speaker 1: two nine, luck or sent you. Alright, open up, magic bus, 584 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 1: it's the school board. We got a wizard. I'm I'm 585 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:30,400 Speaker 1: supposed to drive this boss, but unfortunately a wizard's apprentice 586 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 1: can do close up man Jack, this be not a wizard. 587 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: I'm a wizard. I am from an era where people 588 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 1: know what wizards are. Well, you're not wearing a hat 589 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: with a question mark on it. Oh, but why don't 590 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,760 Speaker 1: you show him some up close magic? Yeah, go ahead 591 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 1: and show him some up close magic. Got to close 592 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,240 Speaker 1: up magic? Yes we can't. Oh my god, shut the fuck. 593 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: As the school board lawyer, I need to ask who 594 00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,839 Speaker 1: this adult in this bus is. Who are you, sir? 595 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 1: I I have come from a strange time into an 596 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 1: even stranger time here I'm in heaven. Yes, very well, 597 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 1: will you sign this waiver? Please waiver? I just touch 598 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,719 Speaker 1: it with your hand. Alas, sir, I am illiterate. Alright, night, 599 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,359 Speaker 1: I'm sorry you did this, but you signed a lot 600 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,839 Speaker 1: of rights away. Okay, what do you understand what's happening 601 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,320 Speaker 1: right now? Okay, now, look just calmed down. Okay, and 602 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 1: look now I'm gonna do this for free, but pretty 603 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 1: much for okay. Okay, alright, no, not what that is. 604 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,200 Speaker 1: You don't know what that is. Okay, you better pay 605 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 1: me that money. I see that coin person on your hip, 606 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 1: all right, I know there's some gold bullion in there. 607 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,600 Speaker 1: All right, this is the king's money. Yeah, well, I'm 608 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,919 Speaker 1: gonna be mine soon. Okay, you're in a lot of trouble, dude, 609 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 1: listen here, attorney, Look, you can say what you want 610 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,400 Speaker 1: to say. But he signed so we're gonna use his 611 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 1: likeness all over this the city of We're gonna have 612 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:56,520 Speaker 1: posters of him. He had. He had complicit ignorance in 613 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 1: this side. He didn't know what he was doing. And 614 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,439 Speaker 1: look at his Look at his signature. It's just to cross. 615 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: That doesn't make it a goddamn s I will run 616 00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:08,839 Speaker 1: you through, Sarah, holy okay, and I will cut off 617 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:16,560 Speaker 1: my dicken ball. No, no, no, hi, honey, Hey, I 618 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 1: had a tough day today about it? How did you? 619 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,680 Speaker 1: I got tickets to the locker room going out? Okay, 620 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 1: I don't think he loves us. I don't think so either. 621 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,440 Speaker 1: I got tickets to the locker Tension Night's game tonight. 622 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,920 Speaker 1: If you want to go. When are we eating? I 623 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:37,560 Speaker 1: brought some You wouldn't have anything? Just staunched by bleeding? 624 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:42,960 Speaker 1: Why is it bleeding so much? Made a deeper incision 625 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:48,080 Speaker 1: that I planned on Nicole. Your your new Housemaide is sexy. Look, 626 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 1: don't before you get excited. He has no dicken bolls. 627 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: I love a challenge. Hello, I love what you're wearing. 628 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:01,800 Speaker 1: Thank you. Hi. My name is Stephanie. I am Twaine, 629 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,120 Speaker 1: Sir Twain who had loved that. I don't see a 630 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: wedding that ring on your finger? No, no, I am 631 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,279 Speaker 1: married to my quest. Oh I love that. I love 632 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:16,719 Speaker 1: a guy who's just addicted to his job. I'm not 633 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 1: married either, all right. I live right next door, so 634 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,400 Speaker 1: if you need anything and they're not home, you can 635 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:25,120 Speaker 1: always mom, I'm hungry, okay, Yeah, so if you need anything, 636 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:26,759 Speaker 1: you can just pop on over and just get whatever 637 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:31,440 Speaker 1: you want. Or this is your child, it is can No, 638 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,000 Speaker 1: you can't have to. Yeah, whatever you see whatever you 639 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 1: want to get a ship? Uh so, yeah, she's mine, 640 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 1: but on baggage again, I have castrated myself longest Rito's 641 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: commercial ever, and that's gonna get to our thirds and 642 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,880 Speaker 1: final scene this afternoon. Try Alchemists. I'm a longtime listener 643 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 1: and just want to say that you've been doing a 644 00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,560 Speaker 1: great job at what you do. So my side suggestion 645 00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,800 Speaker 1: Science thinks they see So my scene suggestion is civil. 646 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,239 Speaker 1: A group of court gestures have been told by a 647 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 1: king that they must create three hilarious skits to entertain 648 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,439 Speaker 1: the foreign visitors. Sir Marvin mckugh of Room thirty two, 649 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: Alchemist Max f All, gather around, my gestures. We have 650 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,279 Speaker 1: a very important guest coming today. Well here then what 651 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:34,000 Speaker 1: we got today? Well, I've promised him a three very 652 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 1: funny sketches, and I want my three most valuable gestures 653 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:43,279 Speaker 1: to complete. Sketches is like a skit, it's but it's 654 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: meticulously written and written juggle, I do flips. I want 655 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:57,560 Speaker 1: you to write three sketch comedy scenes from Marvin mckugh man. 656 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,040 Speaker 1: Each one needs to be, you know, than the previous. 657 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 1: Save the funniest for last. Jesus, be funny. That's all right. 658 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,520 Speaker 1: A show that builds gentlemen. But I don't know how 659 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,759 Speaker 1: to ride. And also, I mean that's subjective to know 660 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,359 Speaker 1: what's the funniest I see that you're having a hard time. 661 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,879 Speaker 1: Let me give some inspiration, please, I mean well four 662 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:23,800 Speaker 1: seconds into the if you it will cost you your heads. 663 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:30,640 Speaker 1: That for inspiration? Good day snakes, That is gentlemen sneaks. Okay, okay, 664 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:36,160 Speaker 1: can we use that in the sketches? Maybe? Yeah? Should 665 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,680 Speaker 1: we all go to a corner and then start writing, Yeah, 666 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,040 Speaker 1: it's come back. Let's go to corners for like two minutes. 667 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 1: So come back and we'll pitch our ideas. Okay in 668 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,120 Speaker 1: the meantime, No, no, not over there. What was that? 669 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 1: What was that about? I thought we could kiss goodbye? 670 00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: I thought we could kiss goodbye. What do you mean 671 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,239 Speaker 1: kiss goodbye? Kiss before we go to our corners? I 672 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,400 Speaker 1: mean if we give the insiration, yes, please, So you 673 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 1: promise that you're gonna be really funny sketches. Oh, there's 674 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,879 Speaker 1: nothing that's going to make you laugh harder than each 675 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:11,040 Speaker 1: consecutive sketch. They're gonna be very funny. Marvin. Look, when 676 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,440 Speaker 1: I traveled in time back to the past, you know, 677 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 1: I bought a magic bus for cheap from the school. 678 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,920 Speaker 1: We love that you've chosen all little town, all little Kingdom. Marvin, 679 00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,719 Speaker 1: I know that I kind of have a celebrity here 680 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,760 Speaker 1: just because the novelty of a guy being from the future. 681 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,600 Speaker 1: I'm just curious if if comedy is the same in 682 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,280 Speaker 1: the Middle Ages. Oh my guesses it is. What's funny 683 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: must transcend this. This is your betrothed. I've wanted to 684 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,839 Speaker 1: I wanted to introduce you in a more formal way. 685 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,560 Speaker 1: How old is this kid? Well, this is my daughter. 686 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:52,719 Speaker 1: She's eighteen. Really she's nineteen. Okay, all right that it's 687 00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:56,680 Speaker 1: like middle aged. She's on her way out. I'm sorry. 688 00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,600 Speaker 1: We don't have a younger daughter for you. I'm sorry. 689 00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: So I know how die soon? Just pat the back. Well, 690 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:11,080 Speaker 1: I wouldn't kiss her on the mouth, Marvin. Everyone who 691 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,879 Speaker 1: has has gotten sick. But but Marvin, tell me more 692 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,960 Speaker 1: about the future. Okay, so here's my idea. All right, okay, 693 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,000 Speaker 1: so please just leave our corners alone. Just come over 694 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,560 Speaker 1: to us when it's done. I'm done. I'm ready. It 695 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,719 Speaker 1: just sounds like a pitch because you've come over several 696 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:31,319 Speaker 1: times with a pitch and no work's him out. Okay, 697 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:36,359 Speaker 1: here's the long line. Okay, So I'm telling you, I'm 698 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,759 Speaker 1: telling you. I don't just read this sketch. If it's done, 699 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:44,280 Speaker 1: just read it, okay, um Hi, I'm a motivational speaker 700 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 1: and I live in a van. What's that down by? 701 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 1: If the is a van? What is this? Neverver? Now? First, 702 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 1: all right, I cannot do this A half ago am out. 703 00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,040 Speaker 1: I cannot. This chat is killing me. But if you 704 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,919 Speaker 1: got an idea there, I yes, I have a little 705 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,400 Speaker 1: one back done. Now it's a little Why don't we 706 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,400 Speaker 1: just put him up? I'll go first, since mine is 707 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,440 Speaker 1: it's not done. Least it's not done. So what is it? 708 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,160 Speaker 1: It's some guy who lives in a band and he's 709 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:19,399 Speaker 1: a motritional speaking Look, this is crazy. I'm gonna sucking die. 710 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,480 Speaker 1: I'm wanna die to do none of you is the funniest, 711 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,880 Speaker 1: be the funniest. Oh god, I need to go back 712 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:30,000 Speaker 1: to your corners, scribes, scribes. I need your help. I 713 00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:33,520 Speaker 1: need your help. Oh I'm busy writing right now exactly 714 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,359 Speaker 1: to describe. I know exactly what you are. I need 715 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 1: your fucking help. Alright, what do you need from there? 716 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,800 Speaker 1: I gotta do some fucking craziest shift for the kingdom 717 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:46,000 Speaker 1: a fucking dead. Oh so you need a sketch risen. Yes, familiar. 718 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,359 Speaker 1: I was tossing around something fantastic. Yeah, what if it's 719 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,719 Speaker 1: a jousting tournament where the knights have confusing names, like 720 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,920 Speaker 1: one of them is who? All right? One of them 721 00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 1: is what? Who? Who? The other is? I don't know? 722 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:06,400 Speaker 1: Wait what you can see already that? Sorry, it's just 723 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,640 Speaker 1: too confusion. I'll never left. I'm writing it. Who did 724 00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:13,719 Speaker 1: you say? Was a night? Who's a night? Fun? That fun? That? Look? 725 00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,400 Speaker 1: I need help with from our sketch, A walk on it. 726 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:20,360 Speaker 1: We just need to listen to you. I don't know 727 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,200 Speaker 1: a man a horse with a long spear. Okay, that's 728 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 1: what the rise came up. It was trash, It was hoble, 729 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,040 Speaker 1: a whole place up. I burned all the papers. I 730 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,920 Speaker 1: left those two old pieces of ship in there to 731 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:40,160 Speaker 1: cook a live Oh Jesus, you mean sketch? Oh my god, 732 00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 1: what is it? No? Say who's there? Why? See who's there? Why? 733 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,879 Speaker 1: Because that's the second line to what my sketch? Well 734 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:51,840 Speaker 1: right out? Then how do we knock? Knock? What? Who's there? What? 735 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,160 Speaker 1: And then Alec Baldwin played him in the more recent seasons, 736 00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:02,600 Speaker 1: but Darrel Hammond actually the better in There's a lot 737 00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,439 Speaker 1: to explain. What I really like to know is more 738 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,360 Speaker 1: about the crops, what years? What should we grow with 739 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,040 Speaker 1: the crops? Father, I don't know who this is, Baldwin. 740 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:18,359 Speaker 1: Who is this father? Son? Brother? Shame? What's your shame 741 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:25,400 Speaker 1: about that? I was hoping i'd have another daddy. Okay. 742 00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in the middle of something here, 743 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,760 Speaker 1: so I like to get in the middle of something there. Okay, 744 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:33,600 Speaker 1: I think, and now I've picked up on whats going on. 745 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,520 Speaker 1: We are trying to talk. He is a future he 746 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,600 Speaker 1: is a future teller, a fortune teller. I just live 747 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,719 Speaker 1: in the future. So I just don't want to hear 748 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 1: any more about I like Baldwin, I need to hear 749 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: about the crops. Well, I didn't even getting started on 750 00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,320 Speaker 1: his brothers. Okay, go, I'm go ahead and finish that 751 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:55,279 Speaker 1: one of them. Conservative. Well, I've got mine written. It's 752 00:46:55,320 --> 00:47:00,320 Speaker 1: on the scrulls. Here which part will I be? You 753 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:05,240 Speaker 1: read a merchant, merchant, and then you read incredulous lady, 754 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,800 Speaker 1: just lady, Okay, merchant. Right you guys, good day. I 755 00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,640 Speaker 1: will be the main guy, of course, and here's mine 756 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:20,520 Speaker 1: and you're going to be playing Marcus Philippent and you'll 757 00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:23,759 Speaker 1: be playing the Christian with the hat. Christians the hat, 758 00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,920 Speaker 1: not that I can channel that. And here's my um. 759 00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 1: When I say knock, knock, you say who's there? And 760 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,480 Speaker 1: then I'll take I'll take it from there. So okay, 761 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,520 Speaker 1: all right, I hope you fool's ready. Marvin mccure was 762 00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,319 Speaker 1: ready for his comedy Do not ring this? Yeah, we're good. 763 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:43,239 Speaker 1: We've got great sketches. All right, Yes, either are really 764 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,120 Speaker 1: nice seats to see any kind of show. Get your 765 00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,120 Speaker 1: hand off my knee. That was that was mine? It's 766 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,080 Speaker 1: clearly now, well I didn't. I thought it was mine. 767 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:52,840 Speaker 1: Do you need to sit right next to me? What? 768 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,719 Speaker 1: My sister's not here yet? I don't know, it's probably yeah, 769 00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,719 Speaker 1: well this is where the royalty sits. You know she's 770 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,440 Speaker 1: n eighteteen, she's a mother, right, so how old you? 771 00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:06,040 Speaker 1: I'm sixteen? Well you look good? Thank you, thank you. 772 00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,360 Speaker 1: You know I can hold my breath for thirty seconds. 773 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:13,040 Speaker 1: Why don't you try it right now? Oh, it looks 774 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 1: like the comedy starting. Welcome, Welcome to Castle Live Live 775 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:30,800 Speaker 1: featuring just just to I guess they still featured players. 776 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:41,960 Speaker 1: And now here's your host, the King. All right, we 777 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:47,680 Speaker 1: have today a special sketch comedy. Don't laugh yet, that's 778 00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:52,680 Speaker 1: not funny. But the band's really cracking up at nothing, Marvin, 779 00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,480 Speaker 1: You're about to see. They're just this is so funny. 780 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,640 Speaker 1: It does transcend time and space like yours. It's so funny. 781 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 1: They're laughing before they all the jokes. Sketch number one, 782 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 1: Hello merchant, Hello, this pet dragon you sell me is dead? Dead? 783 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:20,040 Speaker 1: Is a door nail? Well, no returns on dead dragons? 784 00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,440 Speaker 1: Now returns. You told me it was alive. It was 785 00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:29,439 Speaker 1: when I sawed it. No, it was it. God take 786 00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:37,359 Speaker 1: that chest. Wait a second, Yes, I think they're all 787 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:40,399 Speaker 1: in each other's sketches legs. So that's that all right. Well, 788 00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:45,919 Speaker 1: this one's going to be killed, Jester, I can read 789 00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,880 Speaker 1: My mistake is king. But now you're an actor in 790 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,240 Speaker 1: the following ones. I hope you're prepared. I'm not. Don't worry. 791 00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,800 Speaker 1: Your life isn't on the line, but i'd like to 792 00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:05,920 Speaker 1: see you perform in Sketch number two to laugh A 793 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:09,800 Speaker 1: road is dad? No, I hope that we killed the 794 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:13,200 Speaker 1: person that wrote the first sketch. No, no, do you 795 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:17,200 Speaker 1: wrote it? He's dead? Oh? Well I killed two people. 796 00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,600 Speaker 1: You can be you can be on book. I don't mind. 797 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:29,839 Speaker 1: I'm still slightly alive. It's what you wanted. God damn it. Yes, 798 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,440 Speaker 1: I did not want that. He did not want that. 799 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,440 Speaker 1: I'm ready with the best sketch of all. Do you 800 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:39,520 Speaker 1: need another actor? No audience participation? All right, I'm sure 801 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:44,479 Speaker 1: the audience will participate. Me and Marvin will do it. Martin, 802 00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:49,920 Speaker 1: Me and Marvin will be happy to do it. We 803 00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:59,080 Speaker 1: want the sketch. Heaven want the sketch being funny, knock knock, 804 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:14,799 Speaker 1: who's there? Land shock killing? God? No, k oh no, Chris, 805 00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:19,680 Speaker 1: this is the end for all. Oh my dad, Oh, 806 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,960 Speaker 1: I'll never be in another sketch again. I don't think 807 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:28,400 Speaker 1: that's possible. Let's see the school bus, Marvin. We can 808 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:33,520 Speaker 1: save you. On the school bus next to us, some 809 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:39,880 Speaker 1: girls pressing the button, and that's our show for today. 810 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:46,680 Speaker 1: Will Marvin be okay? Oh God, I hope not. Let's 811 00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,360 Speaker 1: thank our Achamus. See if you guys are up to 812 00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:52,600 Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado, Hey, thanks for having me here. I like 813 00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:55,160 Speaker 1: doing this with the people in this room and people 814 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,080 Speaker 1: who weren't here. We missed them all. You can follow 815 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:04,319 Speaker 1: me at out, Chris by guys from the top. I'm done. 816 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,520 Speaker 1: That's enough full move on. Joey Grahare. Check out Bear 817 00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,200 Speaker 1: Supply every second and fourth Wednesday, nine o'clock at the 818 00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,960 Speaker 1: West Side Comedy Theater. Also listen to good Night the 819 00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,719 Speaker 1: album I'm on It, I did it. Check it on 820 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:25,920 Speaker 1: Amazon Prime, I guess iTunes. All this stuff at Koski 821 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:30,680 Speaker 1: on Twitter, at like at Craigslist, Pea cast the list 822 00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:36,560 Speaker 1: podcast James. If you go to t Springs dot com 823 00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,800 Speaker 1: and look for Alchemy this, you'll find that we have 824 00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,040 Speaker 1: not just our logo on a shirt, but you can 825 00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:45,120 Speaker 1: see the brand new shirt with the words snoof on 826 00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:49,960 Speaker 1: it and you can have a shirt ye made by 827 00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:56,520 Speaker 1: you for you? Is that? Is that a copy for you? 828 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,759 Speaker 1: A little different? Also shout out. We have two people 829 00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:02,400 Speaker 1: who are listening to the part fans of the podcast. 830 00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,200 Speaker 1: Come out to see Bear Supply. Doug Lane came out 831 00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,520 Speaker 1: from d C. I think I said it right and 832 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,400 Speaker 1: it's not a cool, it's not a could uh And 833 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,520 Speaker 1: that shout out to them. So come out you can. 834 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,120 Speaker 1: You can see shows in real life and happy people 835 00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:18,760 Speaker 1: doing it. Also, if you're in the Bay Area, Alchemy 836 00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:23,600 Speaker 1: this will be making an appearance at SF Sketches. The 837 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,800 Speaker 1: line ups gonna be pretty rad this year. Tony Shalhoub 838 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:30,279 Speaker 1: Freestyle Love Supreme, uh, Sandra Bernhard, lots of other great stuff. 839 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,560 Speaker 1: But don't you do something with the festival coal kind 840 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:36,799 Speaker 1: of run it. Oh spar Supply will be there too 841 00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:41,399 Speaker 1: in the show. Uh so are Craig and Carlo will 842 00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,880 Speaker 1: be there doing stuff and all sorts of things. So 843 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,680 Speaker 1: go to SF sketches dot com checking out a lot 844 00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,160 Speaker 1: of your favorite Alchemists are wandering around doing various shows 845 00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:52,719 Speaker 1: over the several months that you're running. Is eighteen straight 846 00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:58,759 Speaker 1: days January nine. Let's thank our engineer Doug Babe, our 847 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:03,000 Speaker 1: post sound design artists Fail Brito. We encourage you all 848 00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,279 Speaker 1: to write a review, tell everyone you've ever met and 849 00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,680 Speaker 1: write to us at your name here at alchemy this 850 00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,160 Speaker 1: dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. 851 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,120 Speaker 1: Until next time this