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Speaker 1: Pushkin. Over the past few weeks, we've been exploring how

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Speaker 1: to better navigate our negative emotions. So far, we've seen

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Speaker 1: that even though it's uncomfortable to sit with our messy feelings,

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Speaker 1: committing to getting curious about these sensations and facing them

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Speaker 1: head on might be an unexpected key to a happier life.

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Speaker 1: In this episode, we're going to tackle a nasty feeling,

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Speaker 1: one that I suffer from a lot. Today we're in

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Speaker 1: the company of anxiety.

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Speaker 2: Well, I sort of feel like I was born bracing

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Speaker 2: for impact. I came out what I call a sensitive breed,

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Speaker 2: and many people who struggle with anxiety can relate to that.

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Speaker 2: Just always felt more fragile than certainly my siblings and

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Speaker 2: most of my friends, and that level of sensitivity led

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Speaker 2: to a lot of anxiety.

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Speaker 1: This is psychotherapist, author, and meditation teacher Andrea Walkder.

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Speaker 2: Nobody decides I'm going to wake up at two in

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Speaker 2: the morning and worry. Nobody decides I'm going to have

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Speaker 2: a pit in my stomach all afternoon and feel shaky.

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Speaker 2: It's just it's these takeover mechanisms that happen automatically and unconsciously,

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Speaker 2: and that's why I think we need so many tools

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Speaker 2: to help us out.

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Speaker 1: Andrea knows how awful anxiety feels because she's experienced it

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Speaker 1: a lot herself. But she's also developed a suite of

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Speaker 1: tools we can all use to face this emotion head

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Speaker 1: on and to feel better. I'm doctor Laurie Santos, and

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Speaker 1: this is the Happiness Lab. Andrea is no stranger to anxiety.

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Speaker 1: For more than thirty years, she's been passionate about providing

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Speaker 1: people with strategies they can use to regulate this emotion well.

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Speaker 2: I have two anxiety relief classes on Insight Timer, so

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Speaker 2: people can go through these lessons and gather the tools

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Speaker 2: that resonate for them, and then practice and practice and practice.

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Speaker 2: Andrea knows the importance of practice. He's had her own

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Speaker 2: decades long journey with dealing with anxiety. I used to

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Speaker 2: just be walking around with fight or flight constantly and

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Speaker 2: constantly thinking and obsessing. Unfortunately, the tools that I turned

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Speaker 2: to when I was growing up were in the form

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Speaker 2: of drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and a really terrible

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Speaker 2: eating disorder. I use those things, I believe, in an

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Speaker 2: attempt to try to cope with and tamp down my anxiety.

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Speaker 1: After many, many strategies, that didn't work, Andrea finally tried

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Speaker 1: something new. A guy she dated asked her if she'd

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Speaker 1: be interested in checking out a new.

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Speaker 2: Class and I said, what's the topic? And he said

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Speaker 2: presence and I said like gifts, like stuff you get

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Speaker 2: on Christmas and he said, no, Presence like being in

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Speaker 2: the present moment. And I thought, well, I have very

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Speaker 2: little experience with that. I might as well try a class.

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Speaker 2: And I went to this class and it was all

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Speaker 2: about being present and they talked about Ecker Tolely the

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Speaker 2: Power of Now, and I got the book and literally

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Speaker 2: felt like a bag had been taken off my head.

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Speaker 2: I had really been haunted by my thoughts, but only

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Speaker 2: for as long as I could remember, and just started

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Speaker 2: practicing being present and it was life changing. But before

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Speaker 2: getting into the idea that we can arm ourselves with

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Speaker 2: tools to navigate anxiety, I wanted Andrea to help us

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Speaker 2: better understand what anxiety actually is. Anxiety can manifest in

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Speaker 2: several ways, mostly physically and mentally. It's worrisome thoughts, it's

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Speaker 2: fight or flight in the body, and it can be

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Speaker 2: a variety of a spectrum really of how that plays

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Speaker 2: out for people.

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Speaker 1: And so you mentioned this idea of a fight or flight,

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Speaker 1: you know, talk a little bit about what this means

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Speaker 1: like physically in our bodies when these systems get activated.

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Speaker 2: Oh, physically it can manifest as that pit in the stomach,

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Speaker 2: tightness in the chest, shaking, nausea, headaches, fatigue, brain fog.

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Speaker 2: There's just so many ways that people can feel taken

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Speaker 2: over by anxious feelings and sensations.

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Speaker 1: And those anxious feelings, as you mentioned, seemed to go

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Speaker 1: along with anxious thoughts. You know, So what's going on there?

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Speaker 1: Give me a cent so kind of what anxious thoughts

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Speaker 1: feel like.

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Speaker 2: Well, anxious thoughts are usually in the form of what

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Speaker 2: I call what ifs, you know, what if this happens?

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Speaker 2: And what if that happens, and just worrying. And we're

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Speaker 2: usually when we're worrying, we're not in immediate danger. Because

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Speaker 2: when we're in immediate danger, we just deal with it.

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Speaker 2: We don't have time to worry about it. So anxiety

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Speaker 2: is usually about the future. It's kind of a sense

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Speaker 2: that something is going to go wrong. It's often based

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Speaker 2: on the past that things have happened. It's like a

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Speaker 2: hostage takeover of just Worrysome thoughts.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that can happen when you're in

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Speaker 1: the grip of anxiety, particularly anxious sensations, is it can

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Speaker 1: be hard to believe that they don't necessarily need to

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Speaker 1: be that way, that you can change them around, that

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Speaker 1: you can take action against them.

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Speaker 2: We can't control what thoughts pop up in our minds,

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Speaker 2: but we can control how we respond to them, and

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Speaker 2: that's the work. That's when we bring in compassion, that's

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Speaker 2: when we bring in questioning our thoughts, that's when we

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Speaker 2: bring in mindfulness. Coming back to the present moment.

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Speaker 1: You've talked about the idea that once we kind of

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Speaker 1: recognize this cycle, there are these paths that we can

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Speaker 1: take to kind of deal with anxiety, you know. So

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Speaker 1: share with me this metaphor that you've been using with

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Speaker 1: your students.

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Speaker 2: So imagine that you're on a path, and this is

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Speaker 2: the path of anxiety. You might be walking on it,

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Speaker 2: you might be stuck or crawling, but you're on this

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Speaker 2: path of anxiety. And on this path, there's often these

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Speaker 2: anxious sensations in the body, like we just talked about

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Speaker 2: these fight or flight, This cortisol and adrenaline just coursing

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Speaker 2: through you. In addition to the anxious sensations in the body.

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Speaker 2: When we're on the path of anxiety, there's usually worrisome

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Speaker 2: thoughts in the mind. Now, oftentimes the worrisome thoughts in

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Speaker 2: the mind cause anxious sensations in the body. But sometimes

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Speaker 2: people can have anxious sensations and they're not aware that

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Speaker 2: they were having any worrisome thoughts. So many times people

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Speaker 2: will say to me, I wasn't even worrying. I was

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Speaker 2: just you know, in the shower, doing my day and

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Speaker 2: just taking over. So then people have worrisome thoughts about

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Speaker 2: the sensations. So we can have anxious thoughts about our sensations,

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Speaker 2: and we could have anxious thoughts that cause sensations. In addition,

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Speaker 2: when we're on the path of anxiety, we often have

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Speaker 2: a sense of self blame. Just like, I can't believe

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Speaker 2: I'm still anxious after all that I do, after all

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Speaker 2: the meditating I do, I'm still anxious, all the work

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Speaker 2: on myself, I'm still anxious. So then in addition to

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Speaker 2: sensations and anxious, worrisome thoughts and self blame, there's often

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Speaker 2: a disapproval of the anxiety itself. I hate this feeling.

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Speaker 2: I can't stand feeling this way, and I understand because

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Speaker 2: it's unpleasant, it doesn't help, and in fact, it usually

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Speaker 2: makes things worse. So here we are on this path

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Speaker 2: of anxiety, maybe you've been on it for two hours

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Speaker 2: or two days or as long as you can remember,

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Speaker 2: and you come to a fork in the road and

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Speaker 2: you see that there's an alternate path, and those are

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Speaker 2: your anxiety relief tools. And this fork in the road

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Speaker 2: is when you become aware that you've been on the path.

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Speaker 2: You've been lost in the trance of worry and posessing

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Speaker 2: on sensations and beating yourself up. And that's when we

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Speaker 2: have the chance and the choice to choose a new path,

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Speaker 2: and we go down that path as many times a

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Speaker 2: day as we need to. And every change is preceded

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Speaker 2: by awareness. So we have to wake up from the

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Speaker 2: trance of anxiety and say, okay, I've been on it.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm choosing even if you still feel it in

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Speaker 2: your body, We're going to choose a tool at that moment.

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Speaker 1: When we get back from the break, we'll talk about

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Speaker 1: how we can wake up from the trance of anxiety

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Speaker 1: and find the alternative path Andrea was describing. We'll hear

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Speaker 1: about some specific tools she's used to help her clients

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Speaker 1: manage anxious sensations, and why finding ways to just allow

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Speaker 1: these negative experiences might, ironically enough, be the best path

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Speaker 1: to stopping them. The Happiness Lab will be right back.

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Speaker 1: I've been talking to psychotherapist and insight timer teacher Andrea

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Speaker 1: Walk about anxiety. Andrea's own experience with anxiety has made

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Speaker 1: her quite familiar with how this emotion shows up in

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Speaker 1: our bodies.

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Speaker 2: Just this pit in my stomach, this dread in my stomach.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that my thoughts were largely causing the sensations.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how to quiet my thoughts. I didn't

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Speaker 2: know how to come into the present moment. I didn't

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Speaker 2: know my thoughts were made up, that they weren't even real.

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Speaker 1: And so when we think of kind of what our

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Speaker 1: system is doing, you know, I think we often get

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Speaker 1: really mad at the system, and we feel guilty about

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Speaker 1: it and so on. But in some ways, you know,

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Speaker 1: having this fight or flight reaction is a smart reaction.

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Speaker 2: It is it's the body's attempt to protect or prepare.

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Speaker 2: It's a good try. It's just that the mind doesn't

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Speaker 2: know the difference between really being in danger or thinking

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Speaker 2: we're in danger. So when we're sitting there obsessing or worrying,

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Speaker 2: the mind's going to respond with those stress hormones in

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Speaker 2: the same way as if it would if we were

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Speaker 2: just had a car accident.

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Speaker 1: And so this is one of the reasons you often

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Speaker 1: recommend sort of treating your anxious feelings like you'd treat

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Speaker 1: kind of an anxious child, you know, with the sort

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Speaker 1: of self compassion and kindness that comes with that. You know,

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Speaker 1: why is self compassion sort of so important when we're

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Speaker 1: feeling anxious.

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Speaker 2: Because we need compassion. Imagine talking to a child that

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Speaker 2: came to you that was scared and you yelled at them.

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Speaker 2: Not only would they not feel better, they would feel worse.

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Speaker 2: So we just as human beings, we soften when we're compassionate.

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Speaker 2: We soften when we're given empathy and love and tenderness

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Speaker 2: and soothing, and we tighten and get more stressed when

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Speaker 2: we're given anger or more worry.

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Speaker 1: You know another thing we do that I think just

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Speaker 1: absolutely doesn't work. I've done this myself. Is this this

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Speaker 1: all this resistance we bring to these feelings, like ultimately

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Speaker 1: they're just feelings, but we kind of hate them to

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Speaker 1: the point that we're going to stuff them away or

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Speaker 1: you know, get busy or run away from them. You

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Speaker 1: talk about why this is like not the best way

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Speaker 1: to react to these anxious feelings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the opposite of the best way. And

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Speaker 2: it's understandable because painful feelings are painful, and unpleasant feelings

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Speaker 2: are unpleasant. We don't necessarily want them. But like I

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Speaker 2: tell my clients all the time, it's not going to

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Speaker 2: be seventy with a light breeze every day. We have

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Speaker 2: to deal with weather patterns, and we have internal weather patterns.

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Speaker 2: And in order to be healthy, emotionally healthy and not

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Speaker 2: need to use substances or behaviors to stuff down our emotions,

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Speaker 2: we have to befriend them. We have to make peace

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Speaker 2: with them and learn how to welcome them, accept them,

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Speaker 2: and tend to them in a way that soothes them

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Speaker 2: until they pass and then they come back again and

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Speaker 2: we repeat.

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Speaker 1: And so this is why the toolkit for dealing with

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Speaker 1: our anxious sensations can be so important, and so one

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Speaker 1: of the tools in your toolkit, I know, is the

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Speaker 1: idea of kind of working with your anxious sensations through

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Speaker 1: the use of your breath. Why is the breath such

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Speaker 1: an effective way of kind of dealing with anxious feelings.

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Speaker 2: Well, for starters, it's an anchor that brings us home

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Speaker 2: into the present moment, but it's also bringing oxygen into

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Speaker 2: our bodies and really literally calming and slowing down our systems.

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Speaker 2: Our breath is shallow and we're anxious. When we begin

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Speaker 2: to deepen our breath and slow down our breath, it

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Speaker 2: literally calms our system.

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Speaker 1: Another move, though, is in some ways like the opposite,

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Speaker 1: which is to kind of get the system moving, to

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Speaker 1: kind of let the fight or flight system kind of

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Speaker 1: run its course. And you've talked about doing that through

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Speaker 1: processes like exercise, but exercise in a particular way where

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Speaker 1: you're really moving your body in a loving way.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And this is also why I like to share

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Speaker 2: such a wide variety of tools, because we don't always

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Speaker 2: need the same thing in any given moment, just like

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Speaker 2: if a child is crying, you know, they don't always

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Speaker 2: need the same thing, And so we sometimes might want

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Speaker 2: to get moving, We sometimes might want to get still

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Speaker 2: into a meditation, We sometimes might need to reach out

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Speaker 2: for safe support. We need different things. So it's being

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Speaker 2: able to tune into yourself and your body like a

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Speaker 2: loving parent would tune into a child's needs.

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Speaker 1: And one of those ways of tuning in really involves

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Speaker 1: like becoming one with your anxious sensations, no matter how

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Speaker 1: they might feel right, it's actually leaning into those anxious

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Speaker 1: sensations by noticing what it means means to be there

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Speaker 1: with those sensations right now. And so, what are some

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Speaker 1: strategies in your toolkit that you've suggested for how people

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Speaker 1: can kind of be with these sensations or just be

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Speaker 1: in their body when they're going through something like this.

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Speaker 2: Well, one thing is simply observing them, observing them without judgment,

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Speaker 2: observing them like you would observe a painting on the wall.

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Speaker 2: And again it's challenging, but when we let go of

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Speaker 2: the notion that they're bad and they should be gone,

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Speaker 2: then it helps to be more of a neutral observer.

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Speaker 2: And then many of the tools are about shifting, so

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Speaker 2: shifting to something else, a healthy distraction, so to speak,

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Speaker 2: or using a tool, but yes, just being able to

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Speaker 2: notice those sensations and even to talk to them, even

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Speaker 2: to suite them. I see you put your hand on

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Speaker 2: your stomach or your chest, and I am with you.

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Speaker 2: You're okay. Imagine it having a conversation, a compassionate dialogue

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Speaker 2: with the sensations.

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Speaker 1: Another tool that you talk about for kind of dealing

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Speaker 1: with anxious sensations is what's called self havening. You know

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Speaker 1: what is self havning and how does it work well?

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Speaker 1: Self havening comes from havening, which is kind of bringing

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Speaker 1: yourself into a havening place, a safe haven. And it

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Speaker 1: was developed by a neuroscientist, Ronald Ruden, and he discovered

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Speaker 1: that there were several parts of our bodies that when

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Speaker 1: we use sensory touch and in many cases adding calming

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Speaker 1: words and images that we can actually calm our systems.

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Speaker 1: We can actually bring ourselves into delta brain waves which

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Speaker 1: are calming. And the three areas are the palms of

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Speaker 1: your hands and your upper arms and the sides of

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Speaker 1: your face. I hear from students often that they'll start

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Speaker 1: this lesson out thinking, oh please, you know, I'm just

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Speaker 1: going to rub my hands together and stroke my arms

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Speaker 1: and feel better, And then they say, by the end

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Speaker 1: of the lesson they are actually calmer and more relaxed,

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Speaker 1: so it really works. Another thing you've advised is really

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Speaker 1: just to start actually paying attention to your sensations more directly,

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Speaker 1: not necessarily even the anxious sensations, but just the information

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Speaker 1: your sensory system is giving you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, this is basic mindfulness. So lots of people

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Speaker 2: probably know that word, and it basically means coming back

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Speaker 2: to the present moment, bringing yourself here to what's actually

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Speaker 2: factually here, where the mind is going to play those

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Speaker 2: mind movies and take us away from the present moment.

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Speaker 2: We can come back to our senses, so you can

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Speaker 2: actually look around. What do I see right now? What

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Speaker 2: shapes and colors do I see right now? What do

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Speaker 2: I hear right now? What am I touching right now?

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Speaker 2: My body breathing this inhalation right now, this exhalation. And

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Speaker 2: even if you're still feeling anxious while you're focusing on

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Speaker 2: your senses, that's okay. I like the idea of, you know,

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Speaker 2: looking at if a fire has been burning for a

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Speaker 2: while and you start to put it out, it still

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Speaker 2: may be smoky and warm, but you still keep putting

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Speaker 2: it out.

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Speaker 1: Another tool that you used, particularly for anxious sensations is

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Speaker 1: this idea of finding a way to get the sensations

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Speaker 1: without the stories. You know, what does it mean to

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Speaker 1: separate the sensations from the stories.

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Speaker 2: It means noticing the sensations in your body without judgment,

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Speaker 2: noticing the sensations with neutrality, which is challenging to do

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Speaker 2: if you've been hating them and arguing with them and

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Speaker 2: wanting them gone for so long. It is a big shift,

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Speaker 2: but it's extremely powerful.

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Speaker 1: So far, Andrewa has given us strategies for managing the

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Speaker 1: anxious sensations that take over our body. But becoming truly

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Speaker 1: curious about this emotion means listening to and maybe even

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Speaker 1: learning from our anxious thoughts and stories directly. But how

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Speaker 1: do we face all those scary thoughts head on? We'll

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Speaker 1: discuss some effective strategies for doing that when the Happiness

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Speaker 1: Lab returns in a moment.

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Speaker 2: The mind movies can certainly feel very convincing and very enticing,

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Speaker 2: and so we want to learn how to question them.

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Speaker 2: I mean, personally, I was a mind movie with limbs

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Speaker 2: for most of my life before I started learning about

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Speaker 2: mindfulness and learning to I really was just hijacked by

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Speaker 2: my thoughts, and they were not all pleasant thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Psychotherapists and meditation teacher Andrea Walker knows how awful it

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Speaker 1: feels to be stuck in the grip of an awful

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Speaker 1: and seemingly never ending stream of anxious thoughts.

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Speaker 2: Our stories literally can take us down. So we want

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Speaker 2: to be aware enough of when our mind has taken

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Speaker 2: over the house, so to speak, and how to bring

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Speaker 2: ourselves back to present moment reality.

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Speaker 1: And that's a powerful thing because once you become aware

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Speaker 1: that these things are thoughts, I think two things happen.

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Speaker 1: One is that you can separate them a little bit more. Right,

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Speaker 1: they're just a thought. It's an odd thing to realize,

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Speaker 1: but it can be so powerful to be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: this is just a thought in my head. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily mean it's true.

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Speaker 2: Right, And sometimes people feel so taken over by their

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Speaker 2: thoughts that that really feels like that's all there is,

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Speaker 2: that one hundred percent of them is anxiety right now.

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Speaker 2: But then if they can't find a part that's compassionate

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Speaker 2: or a neutral witness, or that they can speak to

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Speaker 2: the anxiety from their heart, then we some we bring

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Speaker 2: in another resource. Perhaps, how would you talk to somebody

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Speaker 2: else right now? How would you treat a child right now?

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Speaker 2: Because we all have compassion inside of us, it's just

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Speaker 2: being able to resource that to your most challenging feelings

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Speaker 2: and thoughts.

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Speaker 1: One of the interesting tools that you've given your students

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Speaker 1: for how to deal with their thoughts and kind of

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Speaker 1: make people, help people realize that their thoughts are not

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Speaker 1: themselves is through some creative ways of talking back to

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Speaker 1: your thoughts, which I quite love, you know, So talk

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Speaker 1: to me about this tool and some strategies for kind

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Speaker 1: of like talking back at your thoughts in these kind

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Speaker 1: of creative ways.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, one lesson was strong, soft, silly, and silent,

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Speaker 2: and just being creative with how you're going to talk

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Speaker 2: back to your busy mind or your unkind mind. So

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Speaker 2: it might be for some people or in some moments

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Speaker 2: it might be a stronger voice. You know that's not

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Speaker 2: happening right now, and I'm going to need you to

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Speaker 2: focus on what we're doing right now, sweetheart, we are

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Speaker 2: driving to work. Or it might be soft, like I

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Speaker 2: know you're scared. I know life big sometimes, but right

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Speaker 2: now we're safe. Let's take a deep breath. Or silly,

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Speaker 2: just oh you again. I've heard of you know you

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Speaker 2: back again, or silent where you just shift your focus

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Speaker 2: to something that's healthy, a healthy distraction and you don't

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Speaker 2: give it a lot of power those thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Have you had students use these kinds of different voices

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Speaker 1: with some success, like what are some of their stories

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Speaker 1: about these voices working for them all the time?

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Speaker 2: In fact, just yesterday I received a note in my

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Speaker 2: course classroom from someone taking one of the anxiety classes,

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Speaker 2: and he said that the notion of making his anxiety

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Speaker 2: into a separate part. When he first listened to the lesson,

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Speaker 2: he thought, oh, please, you know that's ridiculous. And then

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Speaker 2: he tried it, and he said he was able to

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Speaker 2: talk to his anxious part the way he would a friend,

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Speaker 2: and he began to look forward to it, like how

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Speaker 2: am I going to roll up my sleeves and help

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Speaker 2: my friend that I care about? And he said it

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Speaker 2: was really calming his anxiety.

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Speaker 1: And none of one of the famous tools you've talked

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Speaker 1: about in your anxiety course. Is this method the work?

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Speaker 1: What is the work? And how do you do it?

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Speaker 2: So basically the work was discovered by Byron Katie. She's

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Speaker 2: an author and spiritual teacher. She goes by Katie, and

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Speaker 2: these questions came to her when she was at the

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Speaker 2: bottom of the barrel with addiction and eating disorder and

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Speaker 2: suicidal and completely anxious, and she took or came up

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Speaker 2: with these four simple questions and what she calls a turnaround,

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Speaker 2: and you take a thought that is causing anxiety, and

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Speaker 2: you walk through these four questions and a turnaround. Should

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Speaker 2: we try it together?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do it.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So let's say someone is thinking the thought I'm

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Speaker 2: never going to be okay. So the first question in

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Speaker 2: the work is is that true? And Katie asks for

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Speaker 2: a yes or no answer? So I'm never going to

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Speaker 2: be okay? And you go inside and you feel is

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Speaker 2: that true? I'm never going to be okay? I want

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Speaker 2: to say I don't know, but she says no, yes

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Speaker 2: or no. If I say yes, if it feels true,

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Speaker 2: I would go to the second question, are you absolutely

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Speaker 2: sure it's true? She gives you a second chance? So

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Speaker 2: am I absolutely sure that I'm never going to be okay?

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Speaker 2: And I would really feel into that, really think about that.

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Speaker 2: Probably I would come up with no, I'm not absolutely sure.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't really know anything. If I think

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Speaker 2: about it, I don't really know that that's true. Question

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Speaker 2: number three, how do I feel when I believe that

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Speaker 2: thought and I really feel into it, I'm never going

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Speaker 2: to be okay? Dread? Perhaps hopeless, Perhaps throw in a

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Speaker 2: little anxiety and depression. And then for the fourth question,

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Speaker 2: sometimes I feel like it's not even in the language

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Speaker 2: of which I speak. It feels so deep and foreign.

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Speaker 2: It's who would you be without that thought? And sometimes

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Speaker 2: a thought can be so sticky and so convincing that

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Speaker 2: it's hard to imagine who you'd be without it. But

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Speaker 2: she asks us to meditate on it, to really go

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Speaker 2: inside and think, if I didn't have that thought that

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Speaker 2: I'm never going to be okay, I feel like I

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Speaker 2: am okay. Actually, I'm just sitting in a chair. I

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Speaker 2: actually am okay. So we realize that it's the thoughts

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Speaker 2: that take us down only every time. And then the

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Speaker 2: turnaround is basically, you play with that original thought the

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Speaker 2: opposite I'm never going to be okay. I am okay.

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Speaker 2: I'm always going to be okay. My thoughts are never

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Speaker 2: going to be okay. You play with the thought and

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Speaker 2: see how that feels.

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Speaker 1: I love the work because I think it's just so powerful,

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Speaker 1: because when you get to that fourth question, this idea

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Speaker 1: of like who would I be if I didn't have

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Speaker 1: this thought? Often you're like, I'd be bad ass. If

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Speaker 1: I didn't have this thought, I'd be fine. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be you know, shaking. And so, you know, I've found

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Speaker 1: the work to be helpful for dealing with anxious thoughts,

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Speaker 1: you know, which are often you know, untrue or at

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Speaker 1: least uncertain, right, because that's the nature of them. But

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Speaker 1: also just for so many of my negative thoughts about myself,

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, if I didn't really believe this, who

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Speaker 1: would I be? Like, well, i'd be better, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe I need to go back and work on those

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Speaker 1: thoughts and kind of make them a little bit different.

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Speaker 1: Is this the kind of reaction you get in students?

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Speaker 1: You know? Have you had the stories of them use

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Speaker 1: the work for their anxious thoughts to make a difference.

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Speaker 2: All the time, people are really affected in a positive

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Speaker 2: way by the work. It really is one of the

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Speaker 2: keys to breaking free from thoughts, because it's so easy

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Speaker 2: to think that our problem is what's going on in

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Speaker 2: the world or our bodies, But the problem is what

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Speaker 2: we think about what's going on in the world or

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Speaker 2: our bodies. Certainly there are real life issues, but when

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Speaker 2: our thinking is clear and present, then the problem's lesson

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Speaker 2: and the anxiety really diminishes.

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Speaker 1: And so we've now heard a bunch of different strategies

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Speaker 1: both for thinking about our anxious sensation and thinking about

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Speaker 1: anxious thoughts. But I know when I'm like in the

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Speaker 1: gric of anxiety, it can be very hard to remember

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Speaker 1: how to do them, And so any strategies you can

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Speaker 1: share for how to remember what to do and to

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Speaker 1: remember to use this toolkit, we're kind of in the

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Speaker 1: thick of our anxious moments absolutely well.

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Speaker 2: One of the things that I recommend to my students

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Speaker 2: a lot is to gather a list, star toolkit, if

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Speaker 2: you will, of what your favorite tools are, whatever tools

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Speaker 2: resonate for you, and practice them till you really know

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Speaker 2: how to do them, till their second nature. So that way,

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Speaker 2: when anxiety takes over and your logical mind might be

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Speaker 2: a little quieter, you already practiced and put that toolkit.

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Speaker 2: Put that list in a place where it's easily accessible,

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00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:34,236
Speaker 2: and set yourself reminders, whether they're on your phone or post,

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00:23:34,236 --> 00:23:37,316
Speaker 2: it's on your computer, or your dashboard or a piece

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00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:40,276
Speaker 2: of jewelry sometimes people will wear to remind themselves to

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Speaker 2: use a tool. And even if you're still anxious while

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Speaker 2: you're practicing your tools, keep going. Because if you quiet

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Speaker 2: your mind and question your thoughts and soothe your body

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Speaker 2: enough times it can't help but quiet down the anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Speaking with Andrea made me realize that we don't need

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Speaker 1: to run away from our anxious thoughts and sensations. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'll be the first to admit that hanging out with

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Speaker 1: anxiety can feel very uncomfortable. But by making the choice

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Speaker 1: to sit with anxiety by a green to listen to

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00:24:09,796 --> 00:24:12,356
Speaker 1: it and talk to it kindly, we can find ways

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Speaker 1: to really learn what the sensation is trying to teach us.

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Speaker 1: Andrea's living proof that with practice and patience, and even

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00:24:19,436 --> 00:24:23,236
Speaker 1: more practice, your anxiety will start to relax over time.

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Speaker 1: I hope Andrea's Toolkit is a resource that you can

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Speaker 1: come back to whenever you find yourself in the path

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Speaker 1: of anxiety. When you notice you're at that fork in

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Speaker 1: the road, remember to take a moment and tune into

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Speaker 1: what you need. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself

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Speaker 1: that you are not your thoughts, and that you can

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Speaker 1: start down a new path, one of calm and clarity.

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Speaker 1: In our next episode, we'll focus on an emotion that

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Speaker 1: I find to be the absolute scariest, especially when I

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Speaker 1: see it in my friends or in myself. That emotion

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Speaker 1: is anger.

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Speaker 3: But it doesn't feel good, like it doesn't feel good

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Speaker 3: in our body, and there's a physiological reason for it.

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Speaker 3: Our body is pushing us to do something. It's a

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Speaker 3: very protective mechanism, and so the body is determined to

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Speaker 3: force us into act in order to protect us, which

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Speaker 3: is why it is so incredibly uncomfortable to feel angry

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Speaker 3: and to want to do something about it.

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Speaker 1: As soon as possible, we'll look at what anger actually is,

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Speaker 1: how it works in the body, and what it's trying

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Speaker 1: to tell us. We'll see that even a potent emotion

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Speaker 1: like anger might be there to help us more than

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Speaker 1: we realize. So I hope you'll join me again soon

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Speaker 1: for the next episode of The Happiness Lab with me

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Speaker 1: Doctor Laurie Santos. If you love this show and others

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00:25:38,476 --> 00:25:43,196
Speaker 1: from Pushkin Industries, consider subscribing to pushkin Plus. Pushkin Plus

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00:25:43,276 --> 00:25:46,916
Speaker 1: is a podcast subscription that offers bonus content and uninterrupted

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00:25:46,956 --> 00:25:49,876
Speaker 1: listening for only four ninety nine a month. As a

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00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:52,916
Speaker 1: special gift to pushkin Plus subscribers, I'll be sharing a

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00:25:52,996 --> 00:25:55,956
Speaker 1: series of six guided meditations to help you practice the

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00:25:56,036 --> 00:25:59,636
Speaker 1: lessons we've learned from our experts. Pushkin Plus is available

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00:25:59,676 --> 00:26:02,276
Speaker 1: on the show page and Apple Podcasts, or at Pushkin,

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00:26:02,396 --> 00:26:10,436
Speaker 1: dot Fm, slash plus. The Happiness Lab is co written

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00:26:10,436 --> 00:26:14,356
Speaker 1: and produced by Ryan Dilley, Emily Anne Vaughan, and Courtney Guarino.

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00:26:14,956 --> 00:26:19,236
Speaker 1: Our original music was composed by Zachary Silver, with additional scoring, mixing,

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00:26:19,276 --> 00:26:23,076
Speaker 1: and mastering by Evan Viola. Special thanks to me LaBelle,

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Speaker 1: Heather Faan, John Schnarz, Carl Migliori, Christina Sullivan, Brant Haynes,

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00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:32,876
Speaker 1: Maggie Taylor, Eric Sandler, Nicol Morano, Royston Preserve, Jacob Weisberg,

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00:26:33,036 --> 00:26:36,636
Speaker 1: and my agent, Ben Davis. The Happiness Lab is brought

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00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:39,836
Speaker 1: to you by Pushkin Industries and me Doctor Laurie Santos.

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Speaker 1: To find more Pushkin podcasts, listen on the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts,