1 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this special edition of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. 2 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: Today is a special episode because you, my listeners, have 3 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: written into me and asked me for advice. We always 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 1: do positive outcomes where I read a letter from you 5 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: all that you write in and I give you my 6 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: advice and Soda is my guest. But today I'm taking 7 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: some time out for just me and you to listen 8 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 1: to what you have to say and give you the 9 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: best advice that I can. All right, so let's get 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: into it. 11 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 2: Good morning, Crystal. First, I want to say thank you. 12 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 2: I love to watch your show and you are so 13 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 2: inspirment and honest. Thank you for being who you are authentically. 14 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 2: I am on a quest to get back my femininity, 15 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 2: but as a fifty two year old woman, I'm not 16 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: sure what that means. Is it the way a woman dresses, speaks, smells, 17 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: moves at and can you lose it? And if so, 18 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 2: how do you get it back? As a single, divorced 19 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 2: mother of three adult children, I am in search to 20 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 2: recreate myself. I have been hard for so long that 21 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 2: I don't know anything else. But I know that's not 22 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 2: how God made me. As I am typing this, my 23 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 2: eyes are filling with tears. I had to be hard 24 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 2: in order to raise three children, two males and one daughter, 25 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 2: on the South Side of Chicago, keeping them out of gangs, 26 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 2: not selling drugs or becoming baby daddies or baby mamas. 27 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 2: It was hard, but I did it because I wanted 28 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 2: the best for them, and doing that I lost me. 29 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 2: I like the line in Lauren Hill's song when she said, 30 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 2: don't be a hard rock when you really are a gym. 31 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 3: That's me. 32 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 2: I don't know how not to be hard. What does 33 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 2: feminine mean and what does it look like? 34 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 3: Thank you? Wow? 35 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: Well, first of all, thank you so much for writing in. 36 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: I didn't get your name, but I wanted to let 37 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: you know that I appreciate you, and thank you so 38 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: much for taking the time to write in and for 39 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: watching every week a mother of three, a single mother 40 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: of three that in itself, playing the role of a 41 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: man and a woman, it almost forces you to take 42 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: on those masculine attributes that men have because you have 43 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: to play both roles. So I definitely want to take 44 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: my house to you for doing that, and especially in Chicago, 45 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: which is known for its crime, I know that that 46 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: in itself, you had to really prepare your children for 47 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: what they were going to face every day when they 48 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: left that house. But when it comes to being a 49 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: woman and tapping into that feminine side, you asking what 50 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: does femininity mean? The Webster Dictionary definition of femininity is 51 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 1: qualities or attributes regarded as characteristics. 52 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 3: Of women or girls. 53 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: And I can attest that in my life as a 54 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: single woman. When I was in my single woman phase, 55 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: there was times where I was taking on the man 56 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: and the female role and I definitely had a very 57 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: hard shell, which came off masculine to some people. As 58 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: a businesswoman, you have to be very stern and direct, 59 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 1: and that comes off as masculine. It wasn't until recently 60 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 1: that I decided that I really wanted to tap back 61 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 1: into my femininity. You asked, is it like whey you smelled, 62 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: the way you walk, the way you dressed. A lot 63 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: of those things can be ways to describe a woman 64 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: that gives off feminine and energy, But I think versus 65 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: what it looks like on the exterior, those are things 66 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: that you can do to kind of exude that, but 67 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: it really is about how you feel on the inside. 68 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: Do you feel like a woman? 69 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: Are you doing things to take care of yourself and 70 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: make yourself feel like a lady. 71 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 3: You know, I did an episode called. 72 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: The Soft Life, and that was where I was starting 73 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: to tap back into my feminine energy because I was 74 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: just tired of being so hard all the time. You know, 75 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm a tomboy at heart, but I knew that there 76 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: was a time where I needed to really soften up 77 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: a bit. And as women, and if you're dating someone 78 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: or if you're even still single, you want to try 79 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: to tap into that just so that you can. 80 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 3: Really just feel what that feels like. 81 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: I would say, you want to know how you can 82 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: tap back into that. I would say, start doing more 83 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: self care routines. I would say be with someone who 84 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: makes you feel safe, because a lot of times, if 85 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: we don't feel safe from relationships, we may feel like 86 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: we can't let that wall down and let our guard down. 87 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: So I would say that, and I would also say, 88 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: just really take time to get to know yourself and 89 00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: love on you. 90 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, Hope felt, and thank you. Thank you so much 91 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:13,720 Speaker 3: for writing in. All right, let's see who else right now? Hey, 92 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 3: my name is Lisa. 93 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 4: I saw on Instagram a while ago that you wanted 94 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 4: people to send their questions and you wanted them to 95 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 4: stand in like topics for kIPS, and I figured, why not. 96 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 4: So I'm going to take a second to be transparent. 97 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 4: I'm in a very very peculiar season with God, like 98 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 4: very isolating season, very lonely and misunderstood season. If I'm 99 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 4: being honest. 100 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:36,799 Speaker 3: I'm being stretched. 101 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 4: I don't really understand the purpose of the stretch, and 102 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 4: I don't know to what capacity I'm going to be stretched, 103 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 4: but like I'm being pulled. And so when I first 104 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 4: walked into the season, I knew that I needed support, 105 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 4: but I did understand the season. And so my therapist 106 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,160 Speaker 4: cr and I like never miss a week, and I 107 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 4: was like, I need to like reflect, like I need 108 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 4: to self reflect, and like I I need to just 109 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 4: like figure out what the season is. And so after 110 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 4: a few sessions, I realized that there were some people 111 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 4: and some relationships that I was going to have to 112 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 4: let go of, and I wasn't necessarily ready to do 113 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 4: that or even deal with the aftermath. And so I 114 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,919 Speaker 4: told God, I was like, I hear you, Like, I 115 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 4: see the people I'm supposed to walk away from, But 116 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 4: can we do that after I get through the season, 117 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 4: because I already feel like, there's a lot going on, 118 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 4: and he was like, all right back. Within the next 119 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 4: few weeks, the bottom fell out. Mad relationships around me 120 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 4: started to go left. I started to see people's true intentions. 121 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 4: I started to notice relationships that weren't reciprocal. I started 122 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 4: to see people that I held safe space for not 123 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,360 Speaker 4: hold safe space for me, not be able to hear me. 124 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 4: They weren't listening to me, they couldn't see me, and 125 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 4: they were choosing not to be there for me, And 126 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 4: that in itself was heartbreaking. And so my question is, 127 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 4: how do you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable 128 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 4: again after a friendship heartbreak? How do you trust your 129 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 4: own judgment to make and find new friends? And then, 130 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 4: at this age in Atlanta, how do you make new friends? 131 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 3: Like? 132 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 4: How do you start to create bonds and connections with 133 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 4: people who may already be around you and you feel 134 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 4: like you want them to be a part of your 135 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 4: village and you feel like they are people you want 136 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 4: to be around, but you don't want the connections to 137 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 4: seem like it's being forced or it's not genuine. 138 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 3: So how do you. 139 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 4: Navigate recovery friendship recovery after a friendship breakup? 140 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 3: Where do you start? What do you do? What it 141 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 3: is that? So it's to thank you so much for 142 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 3: writing in when I Wow. 143 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: You asked you touched on a lot of things, a 144 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: lot of things that I've been through myself, as far 145 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,559 Speaker 1: as a stretching season. 146 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 3: We're going to start there. 147 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: You talked about how you feel like you were being stretched, 148 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: and you were, you were in a very peculiar season. 149 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 3: Of your life. 150 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: And I had a season in my life where I 151 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: definitely was being stretched and I did not know what 152 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: God was preparing me for. Things are happening and I 153 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: was like, Lord, what is this? Why are you taking 154 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: me down this road? And why are you connect me 155 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: with these people? This has nothing to do with what 156 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,559 Speaker 1: I want to do? And I couldn't see it because 157 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: I didn't know what was to come. 158 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 3: But God did. And I remember it was a point 159 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 3: where I was a costumer working on what show is it? 160 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 3: I want to say if loving you is wrong? 161 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,840 Speaker 1: And the having to have nots and the costume designer 162 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,839 Speaker 1: at the time would always like have me right there 163 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: with her and the responsibilities that were being put on me. 164 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: I didn't understand why because it was well, but my 165 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: pay grade and it was not. It was it didn't 166 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,839 Speaker 1: align with my actual job description. I had no idea 167 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,959 Speaker 1: what was ahead of me. But sometimes God will take 168 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 1: thank you through things in a point or assign people 169 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: to you because he knows what's coming up. And within 170 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: a few months after that, I ended up getting a 171 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: call to be the costume designer. 172 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 3: Everything I had learned through that. 173 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: Season where I was like, oh my gosh, this is 174 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: just so much like I just want to come to 175 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 1: work and do my job, but in that season, she 176 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: was teaching me so much and I would do it 177 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: just because that was my boss. But I didn't understand 178 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,559 Speaker 1: it until later on when God revealed what he had 179 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: in store for me. So whenever there are seasons where 180 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm being stretched, I always know that 181 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: it's God working for something that is for my good 182 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: and I may not know exactly what it is. And 183 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: I love that you took time to do some self reflecting. 184 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 3: I love that your. 185 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 1: Therapist said, hey, let's take a beat here and let's 186 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: reflect on some things. And when you do that, sometimes 187 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 1: you may not always find the answer and the reflection. 188 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's later on after time has passed, where you're like, ah, 189 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 1: I realized why that happened, as it pertains to heal 190 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: it from friendships that have ended. I did an episode 191 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: called Pershing Season where I saw that, you know, saying 192 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: certain people in my life were not for me, and 193 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: it was I had to do. 194 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 3: I had a very reflective. 195 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: Season and then I also do inventory, not just of people, 196 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: but of myself as well. And things had ended with 197 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: a few people, and I I will say, it's a 198 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: very lonely place to be in it is. 199 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 3: I'm very guarded. 200 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: So when it comes to making new friends, I'm not 201 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: the one that's just like, hey, my name is Chris, 202 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: I want to be your friend. 203 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 3: Like it takes me while. 204 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: I'm big on energy, I'm big on vibes, so it 205 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 1: takes me a minute to really let people in. And 206 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: when it came to ending that, it took years before 207 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 1: I wasn't like you where it was just a okay, God, 208 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: let me get through this season and then I'll figure 209 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: that out. It took me years to like I would 210 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: see little signs here and there, and then finally I 211 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: was like, you know what, all right, this is too much. 212 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: Let's go ahead, and these are things I need to 213 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: cut out of my life. But by that time, you're 214 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: so invested that it hurts even more. So I'm glad 215 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: that you I hate at the bottom, he said, the 216 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: bottom just fell out and everything was revealed. 217 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 3: Sometimes God has to shake things up. 218 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: That happened to be in a relationship where it was 219 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: so toxic and God I talked about on my Sisterhood 220 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: episode where it really really got bad, and God was like, 221 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,199 Speaker 1: I knew that if you stayed in this, I had 222 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: to make it bad enough so that you would leave 223 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: because where I'm taking you, he can't go. And we 224 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: don't want God and have to shake things up cause 225 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: we don't like that. When it gets to that point, 226 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 1: he got to shake the table. It was definitely gonna 227 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: be a little after math and something that we've got 228 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: to recover from. 229 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,239 Speaker 3: So I would say. 230 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: When it comes to making new friends after having to 231 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: lose people and let people go, I would say, be 232 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 1: open to it, but don't force it. 233 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,319 Speaker 3: Do not force it. 234 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 1: They're like you said that maybe people that's already in 235 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: your life it's you kind of like, hmmm, I kind 236 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 1: of like them. I do want them to be in 237 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: my circle. Just maybe say hey, would you like to 238 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: go grab some dinner? I have a friend that I 239 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: knew from the gym. We didn't have a personal relationship, 240 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: but we ended up going out to eat and we 241 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: are like this close, like that's my girl. 242 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 3: But it all started with just say, hey. 243 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: Would you like to go have dinner or go grab lunch, 244 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: or go get some coffee. 245 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 3: I don't drink coffee, but maybe you do. That's what 246 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 3: people do. 247 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,839 Speaker 1: Go get some coffee or tea or whatever your thing 248 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: is and just get to know people. 249 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 3: But that doesn't have to be a I'm forcing a friendship. 250 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: You know, you can just feel people out, spend time 251 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: with them, and see what people's energy speak to your spirit, 252 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 1: because your spirit will never let you down. Just listen 253 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 1: to your gut, follow that intuition, and you'll know how 254 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:54,840 Speaker 1: who the right people are. 255 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 3: Letting your life. 256 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 1: Okay, that's the luck with everything. Just know that in 257 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 1: this lonely season and it doesn't last forever. 258 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 3: Learn to be happy by yourself. That's another thing I 259 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 3: had to learn. 260 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 1: Learn to be happy by yourself because a lot of 261 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: times people they need somebody to be attached to. If 262 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: you get to a space where you can literally just 263 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: be by yourself, that's when you really find true happiness 264 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 1: and then anything else that comes along is just a bonus. 265 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: All right, Thank you Julisa for writing it. Thank you 266 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,839 Speaker 1: so much for tuning in the keep a positive sweetie. 267 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 3: Love you all right, guys, let's see who we have next. 268 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 5: Good morning, Crystal. I'm a funny seven year old woman 269 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 5: who feels lost. I have everything I could ever want 270 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 5: except for love. I have a nice home in a 271 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,559 Speaker 5: nice neighborhood, a nice car, and I'm a college graduate 272 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 5: with a decent job. I've always been a single mother. 273 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,559 Speaker 5: My daughter is twenty seven and her dad just recently 274 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 5: passed away. They had a great relationship, although he was 275 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 5: in and out of jail. I've never kept her from him. 276 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 5: My son is sixteen. His father passed away when he 277 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 5: was one years old. I have another daughter who's twenty nine, 278 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 5: race touched since she was two years old. I have 279 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 5: six sisters and six brothers. Yeah, a huge family. But anyways, 280 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 5: the reason I'm writing is because I literally have everything, 281 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 5: my own everything, but for some reason, I can't find love. 282 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 5: I've been in about four serious relationships, with my last 283 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,080 Speaker 5: one less than four years. I feel like I don't 284 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 5: want to be dating just to be dating. I want more. 285 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 5: I go to church, I listen and I read the word. 286 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 5: I know God has a plan for me, and I 287 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 5: know he wants to bring me happiness. I don't question God. 288 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 5: So I've been patiently waiting my sis. I'm sorry, when 289 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 5: will my boys come? Because I'm sick of his cousins. 290 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 5: Y'all know broke ass, poe ass don't have a job ass. Yeah, 291 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 5: well that I just needed some advice we should think 292 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 5: I should do, she. 293 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: Said Tyler broke ass. She wants her boass since it's tired. 294 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 1: Since I feel you, I've been in your situation. Oh 295 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: my goodness. You mentioned that you have a nice house, 296 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: you live in a nice neighborhood, you have a nice car, 297 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: you do really well for yourself, and as a woman, 298 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: you sound very independent. I can speak to my experience 299 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 1: when it comes to that. One is in the past. 300 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 1: I've dated men that feel like, Okay, yeah, I love 301 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: I got a girl that's got something going on, and 302 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,760 Speaker 1: everything is great until they like really kind of see everything. 303 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 1: They're like, ooh, this is intimidating. So depending on the 304 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: type of men that you are attracting, they may be 305 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: intimidated by all the things that you have, you know, 306 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: maybe they don't find they can measure up to it. 307 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: Some people feel like this may be too much for 308 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: them to afford, or that they don't want to commit 309 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,240 Speaker 1: to that. And you're a beautiful woman, so I'm sure 310 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: off top they're attracted to you, but then they realize, Wow, 311 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: this is a lot of upkeep, and I have to 312 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: if she's our set in the standard here, I have 313 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: to exceed that. And to some men, not all, but 314 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 1: to some men that is intimidating. I would also say, 315 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: I don't know if you do this, but if you 316 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: go into relationships or bring up all the things you 317 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: had because you opened up with. 318 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 3: I have this, I have that, I have this, I 319 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 3: have that don't. 320 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: Sometimes it can come off as you're like materialistic or 321 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: that you're wanting that person to come in and be 322 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 1: able to provide all these things, when relationships are so 323 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: much more than the tangible things, and that may be 324 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: a part of the reason why you're not having something 325 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: that you can really hold on to. So I would say, 326 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 1: take away what you have, take that off the table, 327 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: and really, like, find somebody that knows your worth, you know. 328 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: Tyler Tyler Perry has a quote that says, meet me 329 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: at my worth, And what that means is not meet 330 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 1: me at the type of house I have, meet me 331 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: at my bank account, meet me. 332 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 3: At the type of car I have my garage. 333 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: It's meet me at my heart, meet me at how 334 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: I value myself, you know. And I had mistaken that, 335 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times successful women we 336 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: go into it because it's been put in our heads 337 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: that you need to find somebody that is either equal 338 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: to you or doing better than you. 339 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 3: And that's not always a case, you know. 340 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 1: And I've seen a lot of failed, failed relationships because 341 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: we go after it looking for the wrong thing, and 342 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: we miss an amazing man in the process. So I 343 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 1: would say, really, hone in on those characteristics that you're 344 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,919 Speaker 1: really looking for in a man. Look at you do 345 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 1: some inventory, look at the type of man that you're attracting, 346 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: because I know, for me, I used to attract a certain. 347 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:45,840 Speaker 3: Type of man. 348 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 1: This I wanted, you know what I'm saying, That's what 349 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: I wanted, and I end up with my heartbroken every 350 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 1: single time, no matter how many years it lasted, I 351 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: always realized, dang, I'm attracting the same type of person, 352 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,919 Speaker 1: you know, And I on paper, they look great, But 353 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: then when it comes to can can you speak to 354 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 1: me intelligently? Can you touch me in those type of ways? 355 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: Can you get to my mind? Do you make me 356 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 1: feel safe? Do you look me in my eyes when 357 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,880 Speaker 1: we talk? Do you have a relationship with God? Are 358 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 1: you the type of person I can talk to about 359 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: therapy that I can go to church with on Sundays 360 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: and sit down and have those conversations about what the 361 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,639 Speaker 1: pastor talked about and apply it to our lives. These 362 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 1: are things that are so important to me, but I 363 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: was missing it because I was looking for the man 364 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 1: that had the money, had the house, had the car, 365 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 1: had everything that I had, and I was And you 366 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 1: can have all those things, you know, Like I've been 367 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: blessed to have somebody who has all those things, but 368 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: he also gives me the other things I need. 369 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 3: And that's what you have to focus on. 370 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 1: So I think a lot of times we life is 371 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: gonna be good relationships and bad relationships. 372 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,240 Speaker 3: That's just life. 373 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: But when you wanna find something that you really can 374 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 1: hold on to, you gotta really wait on God to 375 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: bring that person to you. 376 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 3: I know. 377 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: I went through a drought like a few years where 378 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,640 Speaker 1: it was just like I wasn't dating anyone. I wasn't 379 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 1: really going out either. And I always say to put 380 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: yourself in places where you know the type of man 381 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 1: that you need, cause sometimes what we want is women 382 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: is not what we need. 383 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 3: It's not good for us. 384 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,960 Speaker 1: So put yourself in places where the type of your 385 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: type of man that you need would actually come to 386 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: so that you have a better chance of meeting someone 387 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: that's good, that can really feed your soul and you 388 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,919 Speaker 1: can feed his vice versa. 389 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 3: What else I would say, don't go like just looking 390 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:39,520 Speaker 3: for it. 391 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: You know, a lot of times I found that when 392 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 1: I'm least expecting it, that's when it comes. 393 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 3: You know. 394 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: Focus on doing self work, focus on figuring out, hey, 395 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: what is it that I need to work on, you know, 396 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 1: cause it may a lot of times as women, we 397 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 1: don't realize we're the problem too, you know, And they're 398 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 1: sayings that we need to work on so that our 399 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,120 Speaker 1: our men do feel safe, especially our black men. They 400 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 1: already have to go out to the world to fight 401 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: everything every single day, and then they come home they 402 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: want to feel their love, you know, and they want 403 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 1: to feel a safe space. 404 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 3: So as women, we have to really. 405 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: Dig deep and make sure that because it sounds like 406 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: you've had to get it out the mud yourself and 407 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 1: do a lot of things yourself, that we do provide 408 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 1: a safe and soft land and. 409 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 3: When they are in our presence. Okay, I hope that 410 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 3: helped you. Sis. I didn't get your name, but thank 411 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,679 Speaker 3: you so much for writing in and I appreciate you 412 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:37,119 Speaker 3: so much for watching. All Right, y'all and they see 413 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 3: who else we got. 414 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 6: Hi. My name is Agiyana, and I would just like 415 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 6: to start off by saying thank you, thank you for 416 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 6: this positive platform that has changed me lives in many 417 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 6: different ways, including mine currently in my early twenties. Yes, 418 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,640 Speaker 6: I'm a baby, and I can honestly say that I'm 419 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 6: just gonna find on my wheel a little bit. I know, 420 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 6: don't have to have everything figured out right now, and 421 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 6: it's okay to go at your own pace. And your 422 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 6: podcast has really opened my eyes to a lot of 423 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 6: different perspectives about my situation. However, it is a little 424 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 6: tough trying to navigate with the way of the world 425 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 6: on your shoulders. In your recent podcast, you reminded me 426 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 6: that we shouldn't worry because God would supply all your needs. 427 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 6: And honestly, that's something I needed to hear. Yet it's 428 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 6: hard putting that token of wisdom into action. I'm the 429 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 6: youngest child on both sides, and I am the child 430 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 6: to chase a degree, two board certified licenses, and in 431 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 6: the process I've graduating with my bas I feel as 432 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 6: though I have big shoes to feel because everyone has 433 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 6: their eye on me to accomplish so much, and at 434 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 6: this moment, I'm not happy. I'm very introverted, so I 435 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 6: don't talk a lot. I have one friend. I only 436 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,399 Speaker 6: go to work, go to school, and come home. I 437 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 6: don't speak up much now because I've changed and I'm. 438 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,640 Speaker 3: Doing better mannerism. 439 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 6: Wise, and I'm in the process of unlearning old rude 440 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 6: behaviors to express. Furthermore, little do they know, I'm on 441 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 6: my healing journey as well. So with me being busy 442 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 6: and trying to keep myself to myself for myself and 443 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 6: my health, I feel as though everyone is becoming a 444 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,920 Speaker 6: distraction for me. I don't go around family as much 445 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 6: because I'm a big energy person and I really feel 446 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 6: as though everyone energies be off. So I just take 447 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 6: time for myself and slowly watch myself become the black 448 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 6: sheet more and more, even though I'm doing positive things. 449 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 6: It hurts, but sorry to just put my whole life 450 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 6: story out there that no one asks for. But this 451 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 6: is starting to become one of my only safe spaces 452 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 6: to vent being that I don't have a listening ear 453 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 6: of my own. I guess all I'm asking for is prayer. 454 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 6: God is still working on me as well as I'm 455 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 6: working on myself. So until next time, thank you for 456 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:51,120 Speaker 6: being a positive scapegoat and keep it positive. Sweetie. 457 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 1: Hi Adrianna, thank you so much for writing in while 458 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,880 Speaker 1: in your twenties. I remember when I was in my twenties. 459 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 1: I do and I thought I had it all figured out, 460 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: but I did not, and I still don't have it 461 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 1: all figured out. You know you talked about you're on 462 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 1: a healing journey and you have distractions and trying to 463 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,359 Speaker 1: navigate that. I know that can be tough, especially at 464 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 1: a young age when you have it been through a 465 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: lot to really understand what's happening around you. I find 466 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,919 Speaker 1: that in those moments when I feel like you're feeling 467 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 1: right now, I often just ask God to order my steps, 468 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: you know, and and guide me and show me who's 469 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 1: here for the right reasons, who's supposed to be my life, 470 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: and who's not. And I definitely navigate and gravitate to 471 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 1: the people that I feel like God has pulled me 472 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:51,719 Speaker 1: closer to. And sometimes it's okay to be alone. You know, 473 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 1: you said that when you go around in your family, 474 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: you're really big on energy, and you don't feel like 475 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: the energy is right or good. And when you're in 476 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: these spaces where you're really working on yourself and really healing, 477 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: a lot of those. 478 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 3: Things may be triggers for you. 479 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: So you have to be really careful about the energy 480 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 1: that you surround yourself with. 481 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 3: So I applaud. 482 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: You at a very young age for being someone who 483 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:21,199 Speaker 1: knows that you can't just be around certain energies and 484 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: people when you're trying to go in a different direction, 485 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 1: I would say to you, keep healing. 486 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 3: Therapy is really real. 487 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,320 Speaker 1: If you don't have anyone else to talk to, a 488 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: therapist is good. There's putting of apps that you can 489 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 1: use if you don't have access to a therapist that 490 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: will provide you with someone that you can talk to 491 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,159 Speaker 1: about the things that you don't feel like you may 492 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,439 Speaker 1: be able to talk to other people about and I 493 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: would say, continue to find joy in yourself in that isolation, Pio, 494 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 1: draw closer to God, because that's what I've had to do, 495 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: and really just take time for Adriana. 496 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 3: All right. 497 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,119 Speaker 1: I'm here for you, and I want to think thank 498 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,360 Speaker 1: you for watching. I'm glad that I could reach reach you, 499 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: you know, twenty years old. Sometimes I know your generation 500 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,120 Speaker 1: is dealing with a lot, you know, and a lot 501 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: more than I did when I was twenty years old. 502 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 3: Because now we. 503 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 1: Have social media, we have so many different influences that 504 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,879 Speaker 1: it's a lot that you guys have to battle and 505 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 1: fight again. So just keep being strong, keep the faith, 506 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 1: and keep it healing. 507 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 3: Sweetie. Thank you so much for right man, and thank 508 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 3: you for watching. Love you all right, Let's see this 509 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 3: next young lady. 510 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 7: Hi, Crystal, my name is Alexis. I am thirty from Texas. 511 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 7: I just want to thank you for the opportunity of 512 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 7: highlighting my story on your segment of Positive Outcomes. I 513 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 7: admire you your authoricity and vulnerability and keep a positive 514 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,679 Speaker 7: Sweetie podcast. Your episodes have been pouring into me on 515 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,919 Speaker 7: many relatable times topics, so I thank you specifically on 516 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 7: your purgencising episode I was so relieved to not feel 517 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,560 Speaker 7: like I was the only one in this challenging era 518 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 7: of losing people. I recently encountered a terrible breakup of 519 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 7: regarding choosing my relationship with Christ and beginning the journey 520 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 7: of abstinence until marriage. I am divorced. I'm a single mom, 521 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 7: so the dating scene is definitely new to me. But 522 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 7: I thought, you know what, it's time to put some 523 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 7: boundaries in place for myself. So unfortunately, the other person 524 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,119 Speaker 7: was not willing to support me on this journey in 525 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 7: which I was not going to compromise. 526 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 8: My heart was broken. 527 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 7: And I kind of, in a way like feel persecuted 528 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 7: for recommitting my life to God. But you know, I'm 529 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 7: absolulutely okay with enduring that. But my question is am 530 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 7: I wrong for holding on to hope that one day 531 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 7: it will work out once God transforms their heart and mind. 532 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 7: I understand that God allows us to encounter certain people 533 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 7: to cross our paths, and sadly this one I feel 534 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 7: for so any insight would be great. And again, I 535 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 7: thank you for the awesome opportunity. Bye. 536 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 1: Okay Alexis from Texas. Wow, thank you so much for 537 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: writing in and hats off to you for making the 538 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 1: choice to fully give your life to God and I'm 539 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: staying from sex until marriage. I know that was a 540 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 1: very strong decisions you had to make to like really say, hey, God, 541 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 1: this is what I'm gonna do, and I want to 542 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 1: be tapped in with you fully without distractions, because we 543 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 1: all know that sex can cloud some things if you 544 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: don't really take the time to do it the right way. 545 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 3: I'm a living witness of that. 546 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 1: I say that you ask if you should keep hope 547 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 1: for this person to change your mind. If that person 548 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: is for you one, they are going to be with 549 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: you through it all. And the thing that stands out 550 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: to me the most is that he may not be 551 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,280 Speaker 1: on the same walk with you. And if your walk 552 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 1: with Christ is very important, the man in your life 553 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 1: is going to have to take that just as serious, 554 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 1: because you can't be unequally yoked when it comes to that, 555 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: especially when you have some people who like, Okay, look, 556 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do these things, but this right here, I 557 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:19,640 Speaker 1: can't give up. 558 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 3: You're fully committing. 559 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: And if you don't have a man in your life 560 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: that's going to fully commit as well, then I don't 561 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 1: see how it could work. But I'm not saying that 562 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: the guy that we serve cannot change someone's heart. You know, 563 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,400 Speaker 1: if that's the man for you, God will make him 564 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,240 Speaker 1: see like, hey, this is a good woman and she's 565 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 1: doing the right thing, and I too want to be 566 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 1: a man after God's own heart. But if he doesn't 567 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: come around, don't lose hope on love. That man just 568 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: wasn't meant for you. I would say that there are 569 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: some amazing men out here who are on fire for Christ, 570 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: who love Him and don't mind waiting till marriage. You know, 571 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: there's not a lot of them, but there are some 572 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 1: that are like, hey, I'm with you and let's. 573 00:28:59,160 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 3: Do it, you know. 574 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,680 Speaker 1: So I wouldn't lose hope on that because I too 575 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 1: have been in situations there seasons in my life where 576 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 1: I'm like I'm saying and they're like, okay, me too, 577 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 1: Like I can do that. And then if you months 578 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 1: down the road we don't spend enough time together, like 579 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: all right, now, you was for really about this thing? 580 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,719 Speaker 1: You're really not gonna give me none. I'm like, no, 581 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 1: I'm serious. So I would say, just stay faithful, stay strong, 582 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: stay steadfast in your walk with God, because I'm telling 583 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: you every area of your life is gonna be clear. 584 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: You're gonna see it prosper because you're choosing to put 585 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: him first. And I can say that when I walk 586 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: with God and I put Him first, everything else just 587 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: falls in line. So keep hope for love, but don't 588 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: be fixated on one person. 589 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 3: Okay. 590 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: I hope this blessed you, and thank you so much, 591 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: and I'm so so proud of you. Thank you for watching, 592 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: and thank you for writing in all right, so let's 593 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 1: see who we have next. 594 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 9: Hey, Crystal hating kIPS, My question is what advice do 595 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 9: you have on how best to navigate the pivot space? 596 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 9: And this is your mid forties professional career going great, 597 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:20,240 Speaker 9: that household is going good, and Jesus said, we're going 598 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:25,040 Speaker 9: in a different direction, pivot space. With that said, I've 599 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 9: been getting instructions. I've been fasting and praying and you know, 600 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 9: doing what I do in my walk. But what I'm 601 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 9: realizing is also in my obedience, he had asked me 602 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 9: to leverage my community. 603 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 3: So this is me. 604 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 9: Reaching out to those who I know as believers that 605 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 9: are showing up authentically and doing life at a different level. 606 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 9: So with that, I am here. I hope to get 607 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 9: some gems looking forward to all you have to share. 608 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 1: Thank you, Wow, thank you so much for tuning in 609 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 1: and thank you for writing in. 610 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 3: Oh. 611 00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 1: The pivot space, Wow, the pivot space is it's a 612 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: scary space. Sometimes you know you're walking in into uncharted territory. 613 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 1: You are walking into the unknown, and sometimes it's dark. 614 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's lonely, and you have no idea what's gonna happen. 615 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 1: This is where your faith is stretched. So I've been 616 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: there before. I'm trying to think of a time when 617 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,200 Speaker 1: my faith was really. 618 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 3: Really stretched. I'll give you a few examples. 619 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 1: The first time was when I was leaving Washington, DC 620 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: coming to Atlanta, and it was a ten year time span, 621 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: ten years from the time that I moved to Atlanta 622 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,280 Speaker 1: to the time that I got my first gig. I 623 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 1: knew when I moved here this is what I wanted. 624 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 3: But that first year I'm talking about it was so bad. 625 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: I it was one of the the darkest seasons of 626 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: my life, and I started to question what have I done, Like, 627 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: I know that I'm pivoting into a space that I 628 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,600 Speaker 1: know you have called me to God, but this is 629 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: not happening in the way I thought it was gonna happen. 630 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 3: And what I've. 631 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 1: Learned now is the journey and everything that I've gone 632 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: through has helped me be who I am today and 633 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: to navigate this space the way I'm able to through 634 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 1: all the lessons that I learned, even the dark times, 635 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 1: because what I know is when things change and switch up, 636 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 1: we can be a little scared and uneasy. But on 637 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: the opposite side of there, we're like, oh, that wasn't bad. 638 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 1: That wasn't as bad as I thought it was when 639 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 1: I was in it, you know. 640 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 3: But I will say. 641 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: That it was another time, which is actually right now. 642 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 1: Right now, I'm in a season where my faith is 643 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: being stretched and we're right now I'm not sure if 644 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: you're sure or if you have heard of it, but 645 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,200 Speaker 1: we are on a strike as actors and writers in 646 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,480 Speaker 1: TV and film, and we cannot work, we cannot talk 647 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: about our work, we can't do anything. And now I'm 648 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,200 Speaker 1: in a space Okay, God, we don't know when this 649 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 1: is gonna be over with, you know. So I'm in 650 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,240 Speaker 1: a pivot season myself from like, Okay, what else can 651 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,960 Speaker 1: I do where I don't have to depend on this 652 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: one thing, you know? 653 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 3: So faith is being stretched. 654 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: Not knowing when I'm going to go back to work, 655 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: trying to think of new things to do to bring 656 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: in income, and it's a season where I have to 657 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 1: really buckle down and structure new things. 658 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 3: And I'll say that when God puts. 659 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 1: You in a space like that, sometimes you have to 660 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: find the space to be still and listen to him 661 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 1: and hear his voice. There's times where you have to 662 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: see what else you can do to like really hone 663 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 1: in on where you're trying to go, because in that pivot, 664 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 1: it's like you don't want to just go in any 665 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 1: direction because when you pivot, you got one foot planet. 666 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 1: The other foot's going to take in the direction you 667 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 1: want to go to. You have to be really careful 668 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: about that direction that you're going to. So I always say, 669 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 1: God ordered my steps, and then find something that you're 670 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: super passionate about, because a lot of times we're in 671 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: a pivot, we get very. 672 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 3: Impatient. 673 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 1: We get impatient and we want things to happen just 674 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,000 Speaker 1: like this, and you have to be patient and allow 675 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 1: God's timing to be in his time and not in 676 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 1: our time. I know I'm the type of person I'm 677 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: very guilty of this where I'm very visual and I 678 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: see things. 679 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,799 Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, God, this is it. 680 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 1: We're gonna do this, and I go for it and 681 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: I go for it, but I really haven't waited on 682 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: God to give me the plan. 683 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 3: Because God will bring he can. He's so strategic. 684 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 1: He'll bring some pe into your life that will affirm 685 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: the thought that he put into your mind. He'll bring 686 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: somebody in your life that can help you make it 687 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: happen and give you the guidance that you need so 688 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,759 Speaker 1: you don't have to hit so many roadblocks. But if 689 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: we try to do it on our own, a lot 690 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: of times we hit those roadblocks that it could have 691 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 1: been prevented if we hadn't just waited on God for 692 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,400 Speaker 1: a minute. So in this season, I say pray, I 693 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:56,760 Speaker 1: say be patient, I say be still, but also figure 694 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 1: out what it is that you want to do and 695 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: go for it. But go for it in God's way, 696 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:05,479 Speaker 1: because a lot of times we confuse works. Faith without 697 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 1: works is dead and we're like, oh, we gotta work, 698 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,800 Speaker 1: gotta work. What you're working aimlessly, you're not really knowing 699 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,040 Speaker 1: what you're going for. So I say wait and hear 700 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,839 Speaker 1: that voice from God, so that you know what direction. 701 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 3: You're gonna pivot. All is sis. I love you, Thank 702 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 3: you so much for writing and I hope this helped 703 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,799 Speaker 3: you all right too. 704 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:26,040 Speaker 1: All Right, last and final positive outcomes listener video. 705 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 3: We have Hi, Crystal. 706 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,319 Speaker 8: My name is Taylor, and I love all of your 707 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,320 Speaker 8: work from Sisters and Zatima and hearing about your background 708 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,160 Speaker 8: story working for Tyler Perry and all of your other 709 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 8: work in the future, I know I love just the same. 710 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 8: This year, this past Yearjanuary, I recently walked away from 711 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:52,439 Speaker 8: a two and a half year relationship. My ex gave 712 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 8: me an ultimatum to stay or go based off me 713 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 8: not wanting to have a threesome. And it wasn't just 714 00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 8: the threesome. Was he wanted to travel with this person 715 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,880 Speaker 8: and sleep in the same bed and practice things of 716 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,319 Speaker 8: a polygamous lifestyle, which I was not with at all, 717 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,840 Speaker 8: And it came out of nowhere. So the day I 718 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,359 Speaker 8: decided to break up with him, I grabbed the things 719 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 8: I did have in his for my house and I 720 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,160 Speaker 8: took to his house. I dropped it off with his key. Luckily, 721 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:24,040 Speaker 8: when I dropped things off, he was not there, and 722 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,720 Speaker 8: before I left, I deregistered the fire stick. Fast forward 723 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 8: to now. It's been seven almost eight months since I 724 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,040 Speaker 8: broke up with him, and I haven't heard from him since. 725 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 8: The only thing I see is that I get likes 726 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 8: and emojis when I post on my social media and 727 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,759 Speaker 8: he's the first one or one of the first people 728 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,319 Speaker 8: to like my pictures. Because I didn't feel the need 729 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,120 Speaker 8: to block him, I just made a clean break and 730 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 8: that was that. What are some ways to move on 731 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,799 Speaker 8: besides time? And when do you know when you're ready 732 00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 8: to date again or even entertain someone else? 733 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 1: Thank you, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, thank you so much for 734 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 1: writing in Ooh, so that's tough. You had a man 735 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,440 Speaker 1: that you were in a relationship for two and a 736 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: half years that wants you to be in a threesome 737 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:22,920 Speaker 1: and they wanted this person to be in your lives. 738 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 1: I too, like you, I ain't with it. It's me 739 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: and only me, Okay, we not doing all that. If 740 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: you need somebody else, then you might need to go 741 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 1: find somebody else. 742 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 3: That's how I look at it. But while you asked 743 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:44,440 Speaker 3: me what do you need to do to move on? 744 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,399 Speaker 1: First thing I would say, you say you didn't block him, 745 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,080 Speaker 1: But every time you go to your pictures. He's the 746 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,920 Speaker 1: first one that looked at your stories, the first one 747 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 1: that liked your pictures. You may need to block him 748 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: because him doing that is a constant reminder. 749 00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:58,399 Speaker 3: You're seeing him too much. 750 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,239 Speaker 1: You're still reminded of him every time you get on 751 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 1: Instagram or Facebook or wherever these pictures are that he's liking. 752 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 1: You're seeing that, and he's letting you know I'm still here, 753 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 1: I'm still watching you, and in a way, he's still 754 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:15,279 Speaker 1: controlling you. You know, So if I too, like, I 755 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 1: don't block everybody, only black haters, you know. 756 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:18,319 Speaker 3: That's about it. 757 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,439 Speaker 1: But when it comes to like people that if they're 758 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 1: gonna do something horrible, I don't block people because I 759 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,560 Speaker 1: want you to see how great things are, even. 760 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,319 Speaker 3: Though you're not here. You know, we gotta let you 761 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 3: see it. 762 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,400 Speaker 1: You got a front row seat, baby yo lost, But 763 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,719 Speaker 1: I would tell you because the way you brought it up, 764 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,759 Speaker 1: it lets me know that. Every time you see his name, 765 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,759 Speaker 1: you're like, you're thinking something like does he still like me? 766 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 1: Or is there hope for this? Or maybe he's changed? 767 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,640 Speaker 1: Or what does this mean? If you want to get 768 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: over him, you got to completely block him out of 769 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,520 Speaker 1: your life, and that's gonna also let him know, oh, 770 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:54,160 Speaker 1: she's not playing, she's done for real. But as long 771 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,840 Speaker 1: as you give him access and you're thinking like that, 772 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: because it's okay to like allow people access and you, 773 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: but if you're trying to move on, you have to 774 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:07,759 Speaker 1: literally cut off all access points to your life. I 775 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,640 Speaker 1: would say to know when it's time to date again, 776 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,920 Speaker 1: only you can know that you know, only you know 777 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 1: your heart knows, And if you're having to ask me, sweetheart, 778 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,840 Speaker 1: then you're probably not ready to date, you know. I 779 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,960 Speaker 1: would say that if you're having to ask somebody when's 780 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: a good time to date again, if you don't know 781 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: that in your heart of hearts, you're not ready, and 782 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,640 Speaker 1: what's going to end up happening. You're going to take 783 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,239 Speaker 1: all the curiosity that you still may have about your 784 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 1: ex or the issues that you had that you may 785 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,439 Speaker 1: not have healed from, into the next relationship. 786 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:40,959 Speaker 3: And you don't want to do that. 787 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 1: Because that's how we set self sabotage and ruin a 788 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,799 Speaker 1: good thing. So I would say, until you know in 789 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 1: your heart of hearts that you are ready to move on, 790 00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,840 Speaker 1: I would take this time to just work on Taylor. 791 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: Take this time to figure out what it is exactly 792 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 1: what you want, what you want in a man, you know, 793 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,839 Speaker 1: because I've been guilty of thinking I wanted one thing 794 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 1: and then getting the med and was like, oh, this 795 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,239 Speaker 1: is not what I wanted at all, Like this ain't it? 796 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 1: And then my idea of a man changes. So figure 797 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,720 Speaker 1: out exactly what it is that Taylor wants before jumping 798 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:18,360 Speaker 1: into something else, and make sure that Taylor's happy with Taylor, okay. 799 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,160 Speaker 3: Because it all starts with you. It starts with that 800 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:20,839 Speaker 3: self love. 801 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,719 Speaker 1: It starts with that self knowing of who you are 802 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,000 Speaker 1: before you bring somebody else into the picture. 803 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,400 Speaker 3: All right, boom, best of luck. I hope that you 804 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 3: do find love. 805 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 1: I hope you find somebody that loves on you and 806 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 1: only you the way that you want to be loved, 807 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,160 Speaker 1: and that there's no shot at anybody who likes polygamy 808 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 1: or three soomes or whatever y'all getting into that sh'll business, 809 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,680 Speaker 1: but me and my girl Taylor lein with it. So 810 00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 1: I hope you find somebody that you love, that you 811 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,439 Speaker 1: like and that loves on you. All right, boo, thank 812 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,400 Speaker 1: you so much. 813 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 3: Guys, thank y'all. This is just my way of talking 814 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:55,319 Speaker 3: to you. 815 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,279 Speaker 1: One on one showing you that I see you, that 816 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 1: I hear you, and that I love you. I thank 817 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,719 Speaker 1: you guys so much for tuning in every week. We 818 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 1: are growing as a family, and I literally I didn't 819 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 1: have any idea of how impactful this show would be. 820 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 1: I want to again, I always thank Donor but my 821 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:17,880 Speaker 1: manager for pushing me to do this because I didn't 822 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,759 Speaker 1: think my voice mattered. I didn't think that people wanted 823 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,160 Speaker 1: to hear what I had to say. And so I'm 824 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,360 Speaker 1: happy that you guys are relating so well to the 825 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,880 Speaker 1: topics that we touch on and that you're tuning in 826 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 1: every week and you're rewatching them. 827 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,239 Speaker 3: So guys, I love it. 828 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,279 Speaker 1: It feels my heart to know that we are one 829 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,279 Speaker 1: family and I can't wait to continue to. 830 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 3: Grow with you guys. 831 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: So with that said, I'm gonna sign off. Thank you 832 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,360 Speaker 1: guys for writing in. Keep writing in, and if you 833 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,600 Speaker 1: want to be highlighted on our positive outcomes listening to 834 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 1: letter write in to keep it Positive. Sweety at gmail 835 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,239 Speaker 1: dot com and that's Sweetie with an Ie. If you 836 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 1: want to follow me, you can follow me at luv 837 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,480 Speaker 1: Christahay on all platforms and you can follow keep it 838 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,720 Speaker 1: Positive sweety on all platforms as well. Thank you guys 839 00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,880 Speaker 1: so much, and in the meantime you already know what 840 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: to do. 841 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,240 Speaker 3: Keep it positive, Sweetie, Love you guys.