1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: M hm m m. Mr Rogers tried to get us 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: to be our best self. That's a phrase that you know, 3 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: we hear variations of it a lot now, right like 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: live your best life, be your best self. What we 5 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: usually mean by that now is seek pathways to your 6 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: own joy and the kind of self celebration you want 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: to experience, which I think is great and I'm a 8 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: firm believer in that self love is really radical and important. 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: But when we say that Mr Rogers wanted people to 10 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 1: be their best self, there's something about like just encouraging 11 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: people to be good, right, to be good and to 12 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,919 Speaker 1: be kind to themselves and to other people that I 13 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: actually think is a really rare message. I don't know 14 00:00:54,720 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: who is telling children or anyone be kind, you know, 15 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: and in a way that is lived out in their example, 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: and not like moralizing or pedantic or condescending. Fred Rogers 17 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: is everywhere right now, on t shirts and calendars and 18 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: coffee mugs. There's a movie and multiple books, articles and 19 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: major magazines and of course this podcast. And it seems 20 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: to me the reason we're seeing him everywhere is that 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 1: we believe, collectively there's something in what he taught us 22 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: that we need right now. But are we understanding the 23 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: right thing about him and his work? Or are we 24 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 1: just in love with the niceness, the nostalgia, the feel good. 25 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: Not that those are bad things in and of themselves, 26 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: but are they enough? Is it enough to fall in 27 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: love with this idea that each of us is likable? 28 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: Is that even the right idea? Because I don't think 29 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: that's all there was to his message. I'm Carvil Wallace 30 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: and this is Finding Fred, a podcast about Fred Rogers 31 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: from High Heart Media and Fatherly in partnership with Transmitter Media. 32 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: Fred Rogers grew up during the Depression, through World War 33 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: Two and the Holocaust. He had seen how horrible people 34 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: could be to one another, and his show spoke to that. 35 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: It launched just months before Bobby Kennedy's assassination, and Fred 36 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: made a p s A in response to it, and 37 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: just a few weeks after he officially retired, he made 38 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: another p s A right after September. We've talked about 39 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: how Fred didn't want to do the announcement at all 40 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: in the face of such enormous violence and tragedy. He 41 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: said he couldn't see how it would do any good, 42 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: but he did it anyway. The writer and educated or 43 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: e viewing who you remember from episode two was watching 44 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: There's this video that I've watched a lot where he 45 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: addresses us as adults. You know. He's saying, sometimes I 46 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: see you all on the streets. I run into you, 47 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: those of you who grew up in the neighborhood, you know, 48 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: And when I see you, I tell you, just like 49 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: I did when you were very small, that I'm just 50 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 1: so proud of you, you know, and I like you 51 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: just the way you are. A lot of people who 52 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,119 Speaker 1: heard Fred's p s A took comfort in his message 53 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: look for the helpers, but Eve heard something else. He 54 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: is talking to you as an individual, but now as 55 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: an adult, and that's his opportunity to say something else 56 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: or to like break this character. And the thing he 57 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: chooses to say is I still see you. I'm still 58 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: proud of you and see the child in you. And 59 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: I think that when we talk about forgiving people and 60 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: not believing in monsters, to me, that's what much of 61 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: that amount to is knowing that everybody was somebody's child. 62 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: You know, who has been hurt, or who's been afraid, 63 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: or who's been trying their best to learn, or who's 64 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: been trying to be resilient in a difficult situation. We've 65 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: talked about what it means to do what Fred did, 66 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 1: listen carefully and speak to the children inside people. But 67 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: what are we supposed to do when the child is 68 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:26,719 Speaker 1: afraid and acting out, throwing tantrums and destroying things. What 69 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: are we supposed to do when the child inside other 70 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: people makes them dangerous and destructive? And when that's making 71 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: us feel afraid like we want to lash out and 72 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 1: hurt people who are hurting us. What are we supposed 73 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: to do then? And who can show us how to 74 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: act in a world like this one here today? My 75 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 1: mom told me all the time and continues to tell 76 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: me that you know, your responsibility is to be a lightbringer, 77 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 1: and your job is to be a door opener, not 78 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: a gatekeeper. And all of us have that grandma, that neighbor, 79 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 1: that uncle, that guy on the corner store. You know, 80 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: I remember like riding the train with my mom and 81 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: we didn't have a car, and going down to the 82 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 1: train station and there was this South Asian man who 83 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: ran the convenience store in the train station, and you know, 84 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: whenever we went to get on the train, he would 85 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: give me like a small caramel square, you know, those 86 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: like little cubes, just like a no brand, no name, 87 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: like caramel cube. And those are the small moments as 88 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,799 Speaker 1: a kid that I just remember feeling like, oh, I'm somebody. 89 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: Somebody told me that I was special today. And I 90 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: think that message can come from a lot of messengers. 91 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: And definitely race and class and culture and religion and 92 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: geography and all those things can make it harder here, 93 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: but it usually comes through loud and clear if the 94 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: person really cares about you. There are helpers everywhere, people 95 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 1: who really see us and are kind to us, and 96 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 1: there are also people who show us how to be helpers, 97 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: who model it for us. My paternal grandfather, incidentally, is 98 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: a white man who is a lay Presbyterian minister. He 99 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: grew up on a really small farm in the depression 100 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: in rural Illinois, and in so many ways reminds me 101 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: of Mr Rogers. He has a uniform like Mr Rogers. 102 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: He just wears like short sleeve button down shirts in 103 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: the same way that Mr Rodgers always wears his card agaan. 104 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 1: But my grandfather has children and grandchildren that have lived 105 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: just radically different lives than him, you know, in terms 106 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: of like race, class, culture, interests. Paul just like everything 107 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: that you can think of, and he just is such 108 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: a deeply, deeply kind and caring person. My uncle married 109 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: a really some woman who didn't grow up in the 110 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: church or anything like that, and I remember she said 111 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: when she met my grandfather, she was like, Oh, this 112 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 1: is the first real Christian I've ever met, Like, this 113 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: is the first person that actually they say they're a 114 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: Christian and it means that they like do all this 115 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: stuff that Jesus said to do right. And he's always 116 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: just made me feel completely unconditionally loved and accepted. But 117 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: I also see him treat other people that way in 118 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: a way that makes it clear that it's not just 119 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: about me being his grandchild, but what he believes about 120 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: the world. And going to visit my grandparents and just 121 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: meeting random people that were staying in their house temporarily 122 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: because that's what they needed in the moment also made 123 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: a big impression on me as a kid that I 124 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: could come and meet somebody and just be told like, oh, 125 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: you know, they needed to stay here for for this 126 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: period of time because of X y Z. And I 127 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: think that that idea of an open home quite literal 128 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: in in both the case of my grandfather and the 129 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: case of Mr Rogers, right like, I think that's something 130 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: also that's incidental that we're in Mr Rogers's house. He's 131 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: welcoming us into his house. Eve's grandfather showed her one 132 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: way to be open and generous in a world that 133 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: seems hell bent on the opposite. I don't I don't 134 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: identify as a Christian um, but I think that even 135 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 1: though I don't identify that way or as a particularly 136 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: religious person, I'm nevertheless deeply moved and influenced by a 137 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: lot of Christian teachings. And one of the Biblical lines 138 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: that I think about a lot is um the idea 139 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: of the least of these Jesus says paraphrasing, but basically 140 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 1: like that which you do onto the least of these 141 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: you do unto me, And the idea that in every situation, 142 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: as a society, in a family, in a community, your 143 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: job is to find the people that are the most 144 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: vulnerable and to make sure that they're protected. And when 145 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: you do that, as a general rule of thumb, everything 146 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: else will be good. Everything else will follow. That's really 147 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 1: important to me, you know, after the election in twenty sixteen. 148 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: My kids were thirteen and eleven, and they said, they 149 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: said to me, what happened? What happened, like, explained to 150 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: me what that was? What is happening? And the only 151 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 1: explanation that I could come up with was like, well, look, 152 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: there are some people who believe that it is it 153 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 1: is your responsibility to care for others and that that 154 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: is and that is a primary thing, and that you 155 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: must do that. And then there are some people who 156 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: think that that is, that it's your responsibility to care 157 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: for your own and everyone else just needs to figure 158 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: out for themselves. And that is ultimately what appears to 159 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,320 Speaker 1: have happened last night is that some people who believe 160 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: that second thing appeared to have gained more power. You know, 161 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: I was like your mother and I we know what 162 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: we believe. We believe that we must care for others, 163 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: like that is what we fundamentally believe. We're never not 164 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: going to believe that that is just who we are, 165 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: and you're going to have to figure out who you 166 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 1: are in the world. You know. I've done a fair 167 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,720 Speaker 1: amount of teaching in in prisons, and the prison that 168 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: I teach in is a maximum security prison where people 169 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: are there for very long term or life sentences. And 170 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: one of the rules that we have is that we 171 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 1: don't we don't ask people like what they did or 172 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: why they're there. I know just from history that like 173 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: if not of the people that I'm dealing with in 174 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: that space are there because of the drug war, are 175 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: there because of poverty, are there because of unresolved trauma 176 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: in their own lives. And the idea that like one 177 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: out of those one hundred might just actually be a 178 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,320 Speaker 1: psychopath doesn't make it worth it for me to focus 179 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: on that to me remote possibility, when I could be 180 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: focusing on like the human conversation that we're going to have. 181 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: And so to me, that's that's the idea of of 182 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: grace is just like assuming, even if you can't quite 183 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: work your way up to loving people, which is like 184 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: the Jesus standard, it's okay for us to not all 185 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 1: be Jesus at least understanding that people are human beings 186 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 1: and not not monsters. You've heard me ask a lot 187 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: of people how I like you. Just the way you 188 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: are applies to those who hurt us, who hurt others, 189 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: who are hurting whole groups of people and tearing apart 190 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 1: families and communities and institutions that do good in the world. 191 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: Would Fred Rogers like them just the way they are? 192 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 1: Eaves says, that's the wrong question. We spent a lot 193 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 1: of time asking the question like what about the bad people, 194 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: like are we adequately punishing the bad people, which usually 195 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: is a distraction from making sure that the person who's 196 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: actually been hurt is okay. And we've set up a 197 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:52,079 Speaker 1: society where we tend to be really obsessed with punishing 198 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 1: people rather than actually caring for the people that have 199 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: been harmed. And that is a disregard that shows a 200 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: disregard for the idea of care for the least of these. 201 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: And if you believe that most of those bad things 202 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: themselves come from un dealt with harm, than the best 203 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: thing that we can do is deal with the harm. 204 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: In Mark seven, Jesus says the poor you will always 205 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: have with you, and you can help them whenever you want, 206 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: but you will not always have me. The idea is 207 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: that one day Jesus would leave his followers. Like all things, 208 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: he was saying, his presence is impermanent. The only permanent 209 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: thing is that people will still need help, and we 210 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: must continue to help those who need it. Notice he 211 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: doesn't say I'm gonna be gone, so I'm gonna need 212 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: you to keep on crushing all the bad guys and 213 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: making sure they learn their lessons. Like Eves said, his 214 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: focus is not unfixing the bad ones, but on helping 215 00:12:55,440 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 1: the needy ones. But that's hard. Sometimes. Sometimes I feel 216 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: like I have to keep an eye on what I'm 217 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: afraid of or what can hurt me. I have to 218 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: make sure it's locked away or properly defended against. The 219 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 1: things I'm afraid of are so loud and bright and 220 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 1: distracting that it's hard to turn my attention away from them, 221 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 1: even for a moment, hard to give up on the 222 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 1: idea that my job is to make sure the bad 223 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 1: people suffer. It's hard to do the quieter and slower 224 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: and maybe more vulnerable work of tending to the people 225 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: who have been wounded. I often feel too scared and 226 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: angry and hurt to do that. I feel like I 227 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: have too many people to protect. And maybe that's why 228 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: Fred Rogers was so focused on finding a way to 229 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: talk about our feelings, Because maybe I can't really help 230 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 1: people until I spend a lot of time sitting with 231 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: my own hurt more in a minute. One of the 232 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: things that Fred Todd is that in a child, every 233 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 1: behavior is a way the child communicates an underlying need. 234 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: If we were to apply that not just to children, 235 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: but to grown ups, we may find a behavior objectionable, 236 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: or we may find something that someone says objectionable. We 237 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: may find another person's opinion objectionable. But if we look 238 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: deeper and see what is the human need behind that, 239 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean we have to agree with their opinions 240 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: and actions and words, but it does mean that we 241 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: should and can have empathy and have a connection with 242 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: the underlying human need. This is John Leah Lee. He 243 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 1: is a senior lecturer in Early childhood Education at Harvard. 244 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: He spent much of his professional career studying Fred's work. 245 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 1: He was co director of the Fred Rogers Center at 246 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 1: Saint Vincent's College, and one of the courses he teaches 247 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: at Harvard is about simple Interactions, a way of working 248 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: with kids that's based in part on the work of 249 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 1: Fred Rogers. Jen Lay also knows something about the dark 250 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: side of human behavior. He was born in Shanghai at 251 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 1: the tail end of the Chinese Cultural Revolution in the 252 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: late sixties and early seventies, the Chinese states sent millions 253 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 1: of people who they decided were bad neighbors in their 254 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: eyes into forced labor and exile, and murdered countless more. 255 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: Unlay's parents were sent to do manual work and rule China. 256 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: He was often separated from one or both of them. 257 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: This was not a culture of I like you just 258 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 1: the way you are. Gen Lay moved to America at 259 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: sixteen and discovered Mr. Rogers neighborhood in college where he 260 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 1: was studying child development. Fred's message of love and acceptance 261 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: came as a revelation and became gen Lay's model for 262 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 1: how to communicate with both children and adults. He told 263 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: me that Fred became a personal role model too, and 264 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: before we get into it, you should probably take a 265 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 1: deep breath and relax, because generally has a very thoughtful 266 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 1: Fred rogers like demeanor. I initially came to make available 267 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: educational opportunities for all children, but over time I think 268 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: it becomes more and more about how we can find 269 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: people all around the world who were doing that, or 270 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: the kind of people that Fred would call heroes, um 271 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: their ordinary heroes. I came into the field very much 272 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: want to be a helper, and twenty years later I 273 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: realized that perhaps the best thing I could do is 274 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: to find these helpers that are already out there and 275 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: do my best to support them. He exactly helping the helpers. 276 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 1: I think the most important lesson that I took from 277 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: Fred was this idea that if you looked carefully around you, 278 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: no matter where you are, if you looked carefully, you 279 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: will find that there are people that are helping one another. 280 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: The kindness and trust and respect that are example THI 281 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 1: by Fred's work is visible in real human communities. Not 282 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:13,119 Speaker 1: everyone talks just like Mr Rogers or anything, but the 283 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:17,199 Speaker 1: way they listen to children, the way they are able 284 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: to pay attention to not just what the child acts 285 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 1: out on the surface, but what do these behaviors tell 286 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,199 Speaker 1: us about the inner needs of the child or the 287 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: young person. You know. I want to ask you a 288 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: little bit about today's context, um, because I when I 289 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,959 Speaker 1: look around, I see a lot of fear and anger 290 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:54,120 Speaker 1: and frustration, and and a feeling that things are rapidly 291 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,400 Speaker 1: getting worse in a in a myriad of ways, and 292 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 1: people feeling helpless and hopeless. I want under if you 293 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 1: can imagine what kind of show he would make today. 294 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 1: Do you think he would continue along the same path 295 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,439 Speaker 1: or would he find that he would have to do 296 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: something different. That's such a good question, and I can't 297 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 1: begin to imagine that I know what he would do. 298 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: But I think the underlying topic that Fred was so 299 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: interested in perhaps centers around this idea of empathy. Fred's 300 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 1: show is about confronting struggles and conflicts rather than evading them. 301 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 1: People of different ideas, different values, trying to work out 302 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: their differences and still operate on an assumption of trust 303 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 1: and respect for one another. And I think fred work 304 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 1: very strongly conveyed that a community is a place where 305 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,640 Speaker 1: not everyone has to look the same, not everyone even 306 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 1: have to have the same interests or choose to live 307 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,959 Speaker 1: the same way. Um like community is simply a place 308 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:21,359 Speaker 1: where very diverse people get to live together, to listen 309 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: to one another and work through the differences that they have. 310 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:41,760 Speaker 1: I think in a fearful world, we have a tendency 311 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:49,160 Speaker 1: to accentuate every aspect that is different between person one 312 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: and person two. And as much as Fred wanted to 313 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,159 Speaker 1: convey the message that all of us are different and 314 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: unique and special, Fred's underlying message, though, is we are 315 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: much more the same than we're different, and that paradoxically, 316 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: by pointing out the uniqueness of each individual, we actually 317 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: come to understand our common humanity. And that to me 318 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: is perhaps the spiritual root of empathy. To be able 319 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 1: to see the full humanity of the person that we 320 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:42,440 Speaker 1: might fear. Mm hm, you know that is such a 321 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:50,880 Speaker 1: weighty and heavy concept in this time. Um. We live 322 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 1: in a world in which there are systemic abuses of people, 323 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: and people feel the need to defend themselves, not just 324 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:03,959 Speaker 1: against individuals, against systems, and and I think a lot 325 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,880 Speaker 1: of times in those cases, people feel like there's there's 326 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: a there's a threat to their survival that comes with 327 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: that empathy that in order to protect themselves and their 328 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: families and who they love, they can't allow themselves that empathy. 329 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 1: You know, if you are a targeted group in a genocide, 330 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 1: is their use for you in finding empathy for the 331 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: person on the other side of the friends. Fred often 332 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: talked about the lesson the most important lesson that he 333 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:50,440 Speaker 1: took from he's theology professor in Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, which 334 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: he went to ask this professor one time what this 335 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: particularly him means because they him said something about, you know, 336 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 1: the one thing, the one small thing that made evil fall. 337 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 1: And so he went to ask the professor, you know 338 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: what is this one small thing? And the answer was, 339 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 1: the one thing that evil cannot stand is forgiveness. And 340 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 1: I think as I read about the error in which 341 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 1: my parents and grandparents lived through, I think of a story. 342 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,679 Speaker 1: There was an older gentleman that was very close to 343 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:39,800 Speaker 1: my family. He was from West Virginia and became a minister, 344 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 1: and he and his wife and son were missionaries in China. 345 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,720 Speaker 1: And after the World War two broke out, they were 346 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: taken by the Japanese and put inside a fairly bruto 347 00:23:54,760 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: concentration camp. And one of the command ds of the 348 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:07,959 Speaker 1: camp we're humane to the American prisoners, and the minister, 349 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 1: his name is Joe. Years later, he sat down in 350 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: a Japanese house across the table from the commander of 351 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 1: the concentration camp, and the two of them shared the tea, 352 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: a cup of tea, and and I just think of 353 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:35,400 Speaker 1: these things. They're almost illogical, but they are a reflection 354 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 1: of the fundamental trust that human beings, as much as 355 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 1: they're capable of evil and hatred, and and as much 356 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 1: as all of us have our fears and defensiveness that 357 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,439 Speaker 1: in the end, I think when Fred tells us that 358 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: we are special, he meant that there's something deep down 359 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: inside each of us, not just some of us, but 360 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: each of us, without which humanity cannot survive. In his 361 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 1: public service announcements following September, he invoked, I think the 362 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: Jewish saying that essentially means we are called to be 363 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: repairers of creation, and we can understand that in more 364 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: broadly outside the religious context, is somehow that each of 365 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 1: us are called to be repairers of creation? And what 366 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:52,159 Speaker 1: does repairing mean? Each of us is called to be 367 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 1: a repairer of creation? But how do we do that? 368 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 1: I think for everyone, though the question is the same, 369 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: the answer can be different. Not all of us can 370 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: sit down to tea with someone who represents the violent 371 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: forces of the state. The man from West Virginia that 372 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 1: John Lay talked about could, but many of us cannot 373 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: and maybe should not. And there's good reason for that. 374 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 1: If someone breaks into your home and harms your family 375 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,199 Speaker 1: or loved ones in some violent way, and then I 376 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,639 Speaker 1: decide to sit down with them the next day for 377 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: a pleasant tea under the guise of forgiveness and radical empathy. 378 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,399 Speaker 1: That may be a dramatic, heroic act for me, but 379 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:41,400 Speaker 1: it might be incredibly disrespectful and harmful to you. We're 380 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,200 Speaker 1: told all the time that the ultimate act of love 381 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 1: is to forgive the people who have hurt you, and 382 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: that anything less is a shortcoming, maybe an understandable one, 383 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 1: but a shortcoming nonetheless something to get over. But who 384 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: benefits most from the quick and incessant march towards forgiveness? 385 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: Isn't it often those who commit the heinous act to 386 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 1: begin with? Don't they want, deeply want for their victims 387 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: to hug them and declare that it's all good. Wouldn't you? 388 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: Have you ever harmed someone? Have you ever participated in 389 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: or benefited from someone's harm? Wouldn't you want them to 390 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 1: forgive you? The idea of forgiving one's enemies loving one's 391 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,160 Speaker 1: enemies is a beautiful one, and maybe even an ideal one, 392 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 1: But it's also a complicated one. Sometimes an act of 393 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: love and caring toward an oppressor is an act of 394 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: harm toward the oppressed, or toward ourselves. TV writer Megan Amram, 395 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: a brilliant person in her own right, put this idea 396 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: very succinctly on Twitter quote you can't be nice to 397 00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,640 Speaker 1: everyone because being nice to certain people is inherently cruel 398 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 1: to others. The viewing is right that after a point, 399 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: it's not helpful to focus on what to do about 400 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 1: the bad people. That's why I'm grateful that there are 401 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,480 Speaker 1: other ways to be repairers of creation. Eve teaches in 402 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: an incarceration facility. I'm using my own holiday party in 403 00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: my tiny little apartment to raise money for victims of 404 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: domestic violence, people who aren't able to celebrate with friends 405 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,440 Speaker 1: and family as maybe we are. There are acts of 406 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,680 Speaker 1: kindness towards children. The woman who raised me used to 407 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 1: go to the library to read stories to foster kids. 408 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: She also took in stray animals, and even once she 409 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: took in a stray kid named Carvel. But more than that, 410 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: there is the love and kindness and acceptance that we 411 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 1: show towards those who are struggling and hurting in our families, 412 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: in our communities. There's the willingness to listen, to hear, 413 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 1: and perhaps most importantly, to grow and change in response 414 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: to the pain of others. There is looking, really looking 415 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: for what is special? What is childlike? Maybe even what 416 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 1: is God like and each and every person that we encounter. 417 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 1: That is what Fred was showing us with the Neighborhood. 418 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 1: He was showing us what it feels like to be 419 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: treated as special and important and necessary. He was showing 420 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: each of us has something inside of us that humanity needs, 421 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: and for that reason alone, we are valuable. And our 422 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 1: task is not only to help see and grow that 423 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: valuable thing in each other, it is to see and 424 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: grow it within ourselves. And even though the world isn't 425 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: what it was when Fred created his TV neighborhood in 426 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: even if our lives seem more complicated and difficult, there 427 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,560 Speaker 1: are people all around us who are actively helping to 428 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,720 Speaker 1: make things better. There are people alive right now who 429 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: were showing us how to make it better too. A 430 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, we asked you to send in 431 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 1: stories of people who have shown you how to be 432 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: a helper. Here's one message we received from a listener 433 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: named Juan Helloa Um here in Hawaii, actually on my 434 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: way to my school where I'm a teacher. I've been 435 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: listening to your podcast and it's just inspired me. And 436 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: every time I listened to it, I think about one 437 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,440 Speaker 1: person who When I was growing up back in New 438 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 1: York in a small suburb, white neighborhood, I was kind 439 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: of an outcast because my family was a Hispanic family 440 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: and we never had too many friends besides our family. 441 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: But there was a lady down the block named Me 442 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 1: and her and her son Jesse, they would always always 443 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: just be there for us. My father was working two jobs, 444 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: my mother never drove, so Genies is the first that 445 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: really took me out of the community and to be 446 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: on the neighborhood. She was the first person to teach 447 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 1: me to the old should which now living in Hawaii 448 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: means so much to me. She took me to museums, 449 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: she let me write books at her house, and these 450 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: kind of moments of joy are things that I really 451 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 1: steak with me still, and even though like I'm not 452 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: the best teacher by any means, I think that that's 453 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: something that's fundamentally what I try and do daily. So 454 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 1: I just want to give a big shout out Denise 455 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 1: and so the whole family, Jesse, Charlie, Brianna, they were 456 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 1: all there for me. But I definitely remember to me 457 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 1: just pining as a as a rock in my life 458 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: and just show me what it's like to be a 459 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 1: good neighbor, literally a good neighbor right down the block. 460 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 1: I hope you have a good one, and the more 461 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 1: of that next week and our final episode of Finding Friend. 462 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,560 Speaker 1: Finding Fred is produced by Transmitter Media. Our team is 463 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: Daniel Donald, Jordan Bailey, and Maddie Foley. Our editor is 464 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 1: Sarah Nicks. The executive producer for Transmitter Media is Greta Cohne. 465 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: Executive producers at Fatherly are Simon Isaacs and Andrew Berman. 466 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 1: Thanks to the team and I Heart Media. Our show 467 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: is mixed by Rick Kwan, music by Blue Dot Sessions 468 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 1: and Alison Layton Brown. If you like what you're hearing, 469 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,800 Speaker 1: rate the show, review the show, and tell a friend 470 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm Carvel Wallace. Thank you for listening.