WEBVTT - Candid Convo: Dr. Becky Kennedy Talks All Things Parenting 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:04.720 Tired of ads interrupting your gripping investigations. Good news, AD 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:08.119 free listening on Amazon Music is included with your Prime membership. 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:11.440 Ads shouldn't be the scariest thing about true crime. Just 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:14.319 head to Amazon dot com slash ad free true Crime 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:17.400 to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads 0:00:17.520 --> 0:00:19.280 and two thousands of kes shows a free for punch describers. 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:19.960 Some shows me how that. 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:22.920 As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:26.200 all the time for advertising campaigns. But a deep voice 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:28.760 doesn't sell B to B. An advertising on the wrong 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:31.600 platform doesn't sell B to be either. 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From step by step guidance to 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:47.240 suggested plugins, Blue host makes WordPress wonderful for everyone. 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:58.720 Go to blue hoost dot com slash Wondersuite. Welcome back 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:02.800 to she Pivots. I'm your host, Emily Tish Sussman. One 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:05.280 of my goals in starting this podcast is to highlight 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:09.320 voices and stories of women who went through something deeply personal, 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:11.840 only to come out of it on the other side 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:15.359 better than they could have imagined and after launching she 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:18.560 Pivots last year. It's clear this is not a small group. 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:22.960 This applies to most women, whether it's a big pivot 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:26.399 or maybe just a tiny pivot. What's clear is there's 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:29.799 a lot of unpacking to do around pivoting. So as 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.359 we're continuing to build this platform and community through new episodes, 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:37.399 I also want to bring you more stories, unfiltered and honest. 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:41.079 So I'll be sitting down with even more women, maybe 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:44.640 the occasional man who have mastered their own pivot, maybe 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.440 they're just starting their pivoting journey, or just have something 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:50.200 to teach us about the deeply personal moments of life. 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:54.560 So stay tuned for more of these candid conversations this season. 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:56.079 Let's jump right in. 0:02:58.639 --> 0:02:59.200 Today. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:03.119 If you are a mom and you are online, there 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:07.400 is no way you don't know about this guest doctor Becky. 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:11.680 I feel like has revolutionized the world of mom influencing 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:16.400 from a educated place, like of information that we really 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:19.560 need and use. But her advice is like truly changing 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:23.000 the way me my friends are thinking about parenting. 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:26.960 What I posted that even on my personal Instagram that 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.000 I was interviewing today, the response that I got from 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:32.120 moms that I know, they were so excited and wanted 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:33.160 to know what I was going to ask you, and 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:34.520 I promised I was going to ask about your hair 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:35.640 also because. 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:37.800 We have hair questions. Yeah, we'll get there. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:40.800 But what was actually so interesting to me was the 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:45.080 variety of backgrounds of moms that I know. It was 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:47.960 not one model like it was, you know, like one 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:50.520 type of person. It was like across the board. 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.800 Moms that I know said, oh my god, I look 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.640 to her like they have. People have a really intense 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:01.560 relationship with you. I think the biggest takeaway for me 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:03.560 do you feel that? Yeah? 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:05.880 I feel that in a couple of ways. Like number one, 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:09.040 I remember when my Instagram account started getting larger and 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.080 then someone from Instagram and Facebook reached out, because when 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:13.280 you get to a certain size, you're like, hey, do 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:15.600 you have questions. It was so nice actually, and they 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.359 actually said, you know, I just want to let you 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:21.799 know your parenting focused account is totally different than anyone else, 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:26.640 is based on your global community. Our Instagram followers, I 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:31.359 think are sixty percent United States, forty percent outside, so 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:34.200 it is so global. And then when we launched our membership, 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.760 the thing that I'm proudest of is in under a week, 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:42.039 we had members from every continent, not Antarctica. Okay, so 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.520 still not Antarctica. I am hoping there's someone, okay, but 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:47.839 under a week. It's just there's something I think so 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:53.680 global about our searching for goodness and strength and compassion, 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:56.840 and the way that I think we know that to 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:58.960 really show up is the parent we want to be. Yes, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:00.680 we need things for our kids, we really need things 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:03.320 for ourselves. It's really like a journey as well. And 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.680 I think that that's speaking to people and in terms 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:08.039 of other feeling it when I meet people on the 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:11.039 street and they come up to me, I mean, I 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:12.760 really do. I love it, Like I feel I'm so 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.320 used to as a psychologist having one to one, so 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.640 having me talking to like the ether, like knowing that 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.040 there actually are real humans on the other side and 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:23.760 seeing them and meeting hearing their names of their kids, 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:27.279 like I really actually appreciate it. It feels much more 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:30.000 like me than this version of a relationship. 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:32.719 Yeah, well, if you weren't true, if there were real people, 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:34.560 I'm assuming that means that you were not on Twitter, 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:35.960 because that is not real people. 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:38.680 That is like, oh my god, don't even that. 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:41.240 It still confuses me. I'm trying to build up on Twitter. 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.760 It has not been us successful, so working on it. 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.200 Okay, So we've got a couple ask for our audience 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.000 so far, I who know someone in the Antarctica, get 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.640 them in. We did and subscribed, and we need to 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.279 follow Becky on Twitter. That's our first fun. 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:56.880 Okay. But this is a business show, so I actually 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.960 want to cycle back a little bit and go to 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.760 the business of I'm also at my friend's house at 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:04.479 a Valentine's Day party, so we are in her baby's room. 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:07.640 So I want to back up a little bit and 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.640 talk about the business of your structure. So start with 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:14.479 us from the beginning. You are a psychologistst the doctor 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.360 is not. You're not like a witch doctor, like you're 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:19.680 a real doctor. What did your practice look like at 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.640 that point, and what brought you onto Instagram? 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.440 Yeah? I love talking about it. There's so many things 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:25.960 I want to do with good inside, but one of 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.560 them really has changed the narrative for women around, like 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:31.159 the things that we can be seen for, and business 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.040 is a big part of it. So yes, I'm a 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.120 clinical psychologist. The doctor is a PhD. So I can't 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:39.240 prescribe medicines. I'm not a psychiatrist, which is kind of 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:42.960 a doctor who specializes in struggles and feelings, but from 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.000 a more medicalized perspective. So I got my PhD in 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:49.760 clinical psychology from Columbia really because when I realized in 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:52.159 college I can make a career out of getting to 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.240 know people, I was like, Oh, that's my favorite thing 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.640 to do. Anyway, I guess that as a job, that's 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:58.520 that's great, right, So I mean. 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.560 I feel the same way right here, by the way, right. 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:04.440 And So I then had a private practice and I 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:08.280 started working with parents in addition to working with adults 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:11.920 who might be parents, but somewhere in intensive psychotherapy, right, 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.640 I used to work with kids, but I actually realized 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:18.360 I liked working with the parents in parenting sessions better 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.840 than the play therapy itself. And I always felt like 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:23.640 I could have real impact there. And what I noticed 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:27.920 is wait, the par dying for parenting and what we're 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:31.160 taught timeouts, punishments, like all this stuff is completely at 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:33.320 odds with the way I work with adults in therapy 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:36.320 to kind of rewire and you know, have lives that 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:38.920 they feel good about. This can't be the way I 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:42.440 just it struck me like no, And so then I realized, well, 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:44.960 what if I took all the ideas that I know 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:48.360 really help adults in therapy and kind of repackage them 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:51.560 and reverse engineered them to parents so we could give 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:54.000 those ideas to kids early while they were kind of 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:57.280 wiring their bodies and brains. And that left in a 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.280 ton of writing, right because I was like, I was 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:02.040 like writing all these ideas and then I was talking 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:04.520 my husband's dear about it. Every night. I'd be like 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:07.560 doing parenting group, sharing thisess and honestly, one day he's like, 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:10.400 I know this really lights you up inside. That's amazing, 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:13.400 but like maybe write them down I kind of watch 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.840 a show or like do something else every night, And 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.600 so I did, and then I realized I had all 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:20.360 this writing, and then I was like what am I 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:22.200 doing with this writing? And then I put it out 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:25.680 on Instagram on February twenty eighth, twenty twenty. I didn't 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:27.640 have a goal, I really didn't. All I knew was 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.880 this stuff lights me up, these ideas. There's a better way. 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.440 There's a way where we can both respect ourselves, respect 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:36.920 our kids, we can help them grow. We could rethink 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:39.800 the way we raise our kids while we re raise 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:43.280 ourselves along the way, and I just floating out. So 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.040 I don't know what my goal was, but I already 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.320 had a full private practice. It wasn't to get referrals. 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:49.760 But one thing led to the next, and then I'm 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:51.800 sure there's other things we'll get to. But that's like 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:52.400 this began. 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:54.600 Do you remember what your first post was. 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.200 I think it was high I'm doctor Becky. You know 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.360 that's like what it was. It didn't do very well 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:03.880 a cappelling, but it was something very, very simple. And 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.960 then two weeks later New York City shut down and 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.199 I live in New York City for COVID, and I 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:11.680 remember exactly the post that went viral, and I remember 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.520 I had two hundred followers exactly at the time, and 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:16.440 I put out this post about how our kids will 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:19.800 remember more about how their family homes felt during COVID 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:23.480 than anything about COVID itself. Our kids are looking at 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:27.640 us and learning how to respond to uncertainty. Let's wire 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.600 them for resilience and not panicked. And then nine slides 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.240 for like here's how, and that really struck a chord 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:35.080 and went viral. 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.600 I mean, I think I was sent that twenty five times. 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:42.400 At that moment, your timing really you really answered to 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.160 a moment of people. We had not been prepared to 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:47.560 parent in that My kids at that point were two, 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.040 three and three weeks old, and it was nothing but 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:51.679 panic because we didn't know. 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.640 There was just so much uncertainty. And to think that 0:09:54.720 --> 0:10:00.680 somebody was giving us something realistic and tangible think helped 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:02.880 us because it did feel like for the first time 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:06.920 I saw parenting advice for me. I know that's the 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:08.720 perspective that you were trying to come from, but I thought, 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.040 oh my god, like because I didn't really connect with 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.520 my kids as babies, because it seemed a little bit 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.200 too that's going to sound so selfish of me, but 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:16.959 about them, And I was like, but I'm still a person, 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:20.720 don't I exist? And so for someone to acknowledge that 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:25.199 I was a participant in this definitely struck a chord 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.560 with me. So what was your business trajectory at that point? 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:30.920 I had so many ideas. I just wanted to get 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:32.839 out there, and then there was this moment where I 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.520 like realize, wait, I have so many more ideas about 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:38.040 resilience and like, I can't capture it in twenty two 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:41.440 hundred characters, which is an Instagram limit, you know, or 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:44.120 in a carousel post. And so I guess I'm going 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:45.960 to do a live event, right, And it was just me. 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:49.040 It was like obviously quarantine and I had a small 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.160 private practice two days a week. My kids like, there's 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.360 so much going on, and I said, okay, how have 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.760 I gone to live events before? I guess I've gotten 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:57.680 tickets on event right, I'm going to sell something on 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.120 event right, even though it's not like a concert. And 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:02.040 then I realized people might want this after I'm going 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.120 to record it. I'm going to make it like a 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:07.000 private YouTube link. I'm then going to send that out 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.080 or like I don't know, I just kind of put 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.760 some things together. But even that started because I thought, 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.160 I have a whole hour. I want to teach about 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:17.240 resilience because I love Instagram and Instagram has been amazing 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:19.520 to me. But one of the things I think, and 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:21.640 I would say this directly to all parents, is just 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.800 like if you if you met a surgeon who was 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:26.839 telling you they want to learn a different type of 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:30.720 surgery because whatever they're doing isn't working, and then you heard, well, 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:33.240 I get my tips for surgery on Instagram, but it's 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:34.959 not going as well as I want. I feel like 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:38.120 i'd say, well, look, you sound busy, but that's not 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:41.400 your fault, Like you can't learn a new surgery technique 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:44.240 from a tip here and there. And I realized these 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.960 Instagram moments like I have these tips here and there. 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.360 But I really think in terms of arcs, I always 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:52.840 think we have to understand before we intervene. We then 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:56.680 have to translate understanding into practical strategies that are based 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.680 on a deep understanding of the core problem. We always 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.600 have to incorporate work for ourselves to manage our triggers, 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.439 and then we have to go through specific tricky situations 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:09.319 to make it real. Understanding strategies stuff for us real, 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.640 like tricky situations. I can't do that on an Instagram post. 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:13.319 And if you really want to deal with your kids 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.520 rudeness or your triggers or they're anxiety or sleep, like, 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.400 you need the arc. That's what I would say, you 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:21.440 just need the whole arc, right, it's a story. And 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.080 so then I started doing these like once a month 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:27.280 on a different topic kind of workshops and I just 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:29.199 love them. I was like, oh, and I see people's 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.760 faces and their response and how different it felt. Mentor 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:35.240 the end of twenty twenty, I connected with. 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:36.480 Someone I went to grad school with. 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:40.439 She's also a psychologist, and it's kind of non traditional, 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.680 but the two of us as psychologist has said, like, 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.840 we see a much bigger vision here, Like we knew 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.319 we wanted to build what we always needed when we 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:53.120 were parents of our youngest kids. Like parents have the 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:57.160 hardest and most important job in the world, and in 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.680 my mind, there's no other job that we say is 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:04.760 hard and important where we don't give those people training 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:10.160 and support, hard start, and so we really did, Like 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.319 we got angry about it, and I love the feeling. 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.560 Finger are most afraid of it. But A tells us 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:16.440 what we need. It gives us that information and then 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.079 we can move and do something with that. Like this 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.640 is messed up because then women do something else. In parenting, 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.400 they feel bad about themselves when things aren't They're yelling. 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.640 They're like, oh, I'm the worst parent, right, Like we 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:32.199 blame ourselves. We then don't talk to other people about it, 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.920 and the whole cycle perpetuates. We're like, we want a 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:37.840 platform that changes all of this, and Instagram tips I 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.120 love them, that's not it. We need three things. We 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.960 knew it from the beginning. We need content that actually 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:44.840 speaks to us, that makes sense so we can learn. 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.880 Like any training program, we need each other. We need 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:51.920 an antisocial media space to talk about things that are real, 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:55.240 and we need experts we trust. So we manualize my 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:58.560 good inside approach. We have a clinical trainer, we have training, 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.640 we have coaches. We then also knew we needed experts 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:06.560 in ot and neurodiversity and other specialties, but who come 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:09.679 from a good inside approach. So you weren't being told like, oh, 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:11.360 do it a sticker chart and you're like, wait, that 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:13.720 doesn't actually make sense to me. And we just wanted 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:16.280 to put it all together, and so that really started 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:19.120 January first, twenty twenty one. The podcast came out. Other 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.760 things came out first, and we launched that last April. 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:26.720 So that is your subscription membership model, right, So how 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:27.280 does that work? 0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:29.200 So that's really interesting. I feel like this is a 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:33.320 growing model of business for experts. 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:37.200 Yeah, sort of the freebie of the social media brings 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:40.320 new business, like new people inside. But this is an 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.160 interesting growing field. I'm very interested how you structured this business. 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:46.960 Yeah, so you know, we have so many different versions 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:50.800 of like where people can get our guidance. So obviously Instagram, 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:55.080 podcasted longer form. We have also a Thursday email. I 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.120 hate calling it a newsletter because there's no like news 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.560 in it, but to me, it's like just a long 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:02.520 letter I write every week of like an idea. All 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:07.320 of those are free to us. Giving information that brings 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:11.640 AHA moments and real impactful change and making that as 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:15.720 accessible as possible is really really important to us and 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:20.240 is aligned with our mission of just empowering every parent 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:24.640 who is looking for something slightly different. So that's all there. Then, 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:28.840 when I think about our membership, I think fitness and 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.720 eating have kind of been established at these things that 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:35.760 people used to think of as like problems solution moments, okay, 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:38.680 where they'd be like, oh, I haven't worked out in 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:40.720 a while, I got to like get to the gym, right, 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.160 or I have to lose ten pounds or right. But 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.720 I think people know now weight it's not about losing weight, 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:47.600 and it's not even about getting to the gym a 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:49.960 certain time. It's like it feels good to some people 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.120 to be in a fitness routine. It just feels good 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.880 to ongoing do that you actually get less attached to 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:57.120 the outcome and you kind of just get addicted to 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:00.480 the feelings of being in the process. Same thing with food, right, Oh, 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.040 I need to lose this waight. No, some of people 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:04.560 are like, I love just eating in a way that like, 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.240 I know, feels good in my body, right, Like, and 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.600 I think we're parenting honestly, are bigger mission Emily with 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:12.520 the membership is to start thinking about it that way, 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.560 to get parents out of the mindset of Okay, there's 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:17.640 a problem. What do I do that the tantrums are 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:20.640 a mess sibling? Right, Okay? Because then I feel like 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:24.280 we're just we're in whackable and it's a really anxiety 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.040 provoking way to live. 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:26.680 Right. 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.560 What I hope and what our membership really gives people 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:32.440 is every solution to problems. Do you have a problem, 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.760 And I always say, we will bring you back to baseline, 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:38.760 But most parents I know want to raise their baseline. 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.720 I'm going to cry because raising your baseline doesn't happen 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.960 when you have a problem. Raising your base happens when 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:46.600 I'm like, you've kind of gotten a little bit of 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:49.680 hold and now I can reflect more on myself. Now 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.400 I get being more connected to my kid. Now I 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.560 get to have that moment with my kid that's like 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:56.200 ten seconds and we both know these moments that just 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:59.960 felt so important, like I was reminded to do something right. 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:04.919 And that's an ongoing practice, right, like you never really finished. 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.040 Not to say you need to be a member for years, 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:10.200 not to say it's so arduous, but I really love 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:16.040 this idea of practicing, of being engaged with, you know, 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.400 being a sturdy leader in your home. And that's why 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.439 we kind of, you know, operate from that model. 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.639 Well on the content piece, the good inside is at 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:30.040 the core. 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.639 I mean, it's the name of your book. 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:33.240 It was like, you know, is it the core of 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:37.040 everything that you talk about that your child is good inside? 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:39.320 And it is just the behavior, which I think is 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:40.919 I think a lot of parents need to hear in 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.600 a lot of moments, I've definitely needed to hear it. 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:46.160 I also feel like a big theme that I hear 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:48.920 coming through a lot of your work is building resilience 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.720 through children. Do you think do you see those as 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:55.919 connected or as two different but important paths that we 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:57.640 should be keeping in our minds when we're thinking about 0:17:57.720 --> 0:17:58.280 raising kids. 0:17:58.359 --> 0:17:59.960 Yeah, I think those are two, like what I would say, 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.280 or like core principles or pillars, there's really ten. It's 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:05.040 also like why I wrote the book. I don't even 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:06.720 mention the book. The reason I wrote the book is 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:08.480 I said, like, I do have an even bigger story 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:11.880 to tell around the foundations that guide everything I talk about. 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.040 And there's really ten. So whether you're talking about sleep, anxiety, 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:19.240 sibling rival read, rudeness, tantrums, whatever, the problem is the 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.280 interesting thing we hear from our members as well, Like 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.080 I'm so getting versed in these principles that I see 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:26.600 how they apply to like hear it's actually always the 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.320 same thing. It sounds a little different my interventions, right, 0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:32.320 but it's like learning a language, right. And so when 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:34.280 I think about good inside, let me say this first. 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:37.560 We often as humans, like we collapse things really quickly. 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:40.240 So someone will say, oh, so my kid's good inside, 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:41.840 So it's just okay that he's like hitting his brother, 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.959 Like no, definitely not Like I would never look at 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.960 my kid and be like, oh, you're good inside, keep 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:50.240 saying I hate you, get it out, I love it, 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.840 I love it, Like that would never happen. Okay, But 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:57.920 good inside is the idea of separating good internal identity 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:02.760 from any given moment or behavior. Here's my identity, here's 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.800 my behavior. This doesn't mean this is okay. It just 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:08.960 means they're different. And actually, as soon as we say 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.320 they're different, we can then intervene effectively to actually change behavior. 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:15.560 That's the big eyn me right, because when I see 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:18.320 my kids good inside, instead of saying you hit your brother, 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:19.840 go to your room, why do you think you can 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:20.440 act like this? 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:20.760 Right? 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:22.800