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Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and welcome back to Coast to Coast George Nori

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Speaker 1: with you. Coach Bob back with us. He has been

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Speaker 1: down the road of life changes for his entire lifetime.

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Speaker 1: He was a business owner in the financial services industry

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Speaker 1: for twenty years. He then morphed into a self taught scientist,

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Speaker 1: philosopher and life coach for the past twenty five years.

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Speaker 1: Coach Bob continues to develop his process of behavioral change

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Speaker 1: so he and others can manage life effectively. Understanding the

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Speaker 1: science and coaching others and implementing the process. They are

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Speaker 1: his passions that drive his commitment to making this a

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Speaker 1: better world. His website is called real Changecoach dot com.

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Speaker 1: Linked up for you at Coast to Coast AM dot com.

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Speaker 1: And I thought it'd be a good time right now

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Speaker 1: to bring the coach in to talk with us because Bob,

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Speaker 1: first of all, welcome back to the Program's good to

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Speaker 1: have you, Thank you, George, and thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: I am I am picking up that people are so

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Speaker 1: up height lately and they're concerned about everything. They're being

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Speaker 1: bombarded by the media. This presidential situation and the investigations

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Speaker 1: and everything. I think people are on the verge of

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Speaker 1: nervous breakdowns. Bob, do you feel this, No question, George.

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Speaker 1: Things are I think more strange now than in my lifetime.

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Speaker 1: And I think since we don't really know where it's headed,

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Speaker 1: the uncertainty is probably you know, causing a lot of

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Speaker 1: it too. And you know, most people when they come

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Speaker 1: and I coached them, you know, they're generally dealing with

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Speaker 1: specific issues, and it could be either going on an

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Speaker 1: interview for a new job, or they're running out of money,

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Speaker 1: or their children are having troubles and they don't know

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Speaker 1: what to do, and so there's all these specifics. But

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Speaker 1: I think what would be good to share with your

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Speaker 1: listeners is that there's a common fundamental that underlies all

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Speaker 1: the problems that we have, and that is when we

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Speaker 1: have a problem, we generally get filled with either anger

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Speaker 1: and or fear. We're either afraid of what's happening to

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Speaker 1: us or we're angry about it, or sometimes both and

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Speaker 1: sometimes both. And so the question is, and this is

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Speaker 1: the first question I ask people when I coach them,

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Speaker 1: do you really think you're better off sending your anger

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Speaker 1: in fear into this situation or are you better off

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Speaker 1: being in control? Well, obviously being in control is the

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Speaker 1: best way to go, but how many people actually do

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Speaker 1: that when they're faced with that situation? And most people don't.

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Speaker 1: The thing, though, is that they can learn to do it.

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Speaker 1: And in kind of a nutshell, here's what's going on

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Speaker 1: is ancestors lived in a very very dangerous place. It

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Speaker 1: was basically eat or be eaten. You didn't have a

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Speaker 1: chance to google. You had to know instantly is what's

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Speaker 1: coming at me dinner or an eye dinner. And that's

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Speaker 1: how we develop this very strong emotional system we have.

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Speaker 1: And so the first thing we do when we feel

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Speaker 1: pressure is we either fight or flee. We either approach

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Speaker 1: or avoid. In that initial response, we cannot stop because

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Speaker 1: that's who we are. When you're walking into that interview,

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Speaker 1: you're afraid. If you're not afraid, you're not human. A

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Speaker 1: youngster going into taking his SAT tests for college, he's

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Speaker 1: going to be nervous, he's going to be fearful. It's

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Speaker 1: only natural. And so what I try to help people

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Speaker 1: with origin and this is why if people go to

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Speaker 1: the site, they'll see I'm putting on three three one

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Speaker 1: hour workshops next week to just to try to share

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Speaker 1: with people how they can be in control. And you

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Speaker 1: have too what you're doing now too. I think since

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Speaker 1: the last time we talked, which was about seven years ago,

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Speaker 1: you were doing a lot of corporate work and you

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Speaker 1: still are, but you're also now doing a lot of

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Speaker 1: work for individuals who have some issues, aren't you. That's correct.

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Speaker 1: In fact, this whole new program that I'm launching is

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Speaker 1: trying to share with as many people, is I can

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Speaker 1: you know the way to be in control when it matters,

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Speaker 1: because all our anger and fear is going to do

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Speaker 1: is make the problems worse. Coach, do you see this

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Speaker 1: with road rage? Two? Road rage is probably one of

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Speaker 1: the most common that we've probably all felt. I don't

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Speaker 1: think there's not a person listening that hasn't gotten awfully

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Speaker 1: angry at something has happened, you know, when they're in

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Speaker 1: the car. And the reason that is is we call

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Speaker 1: it the mix. And so think about it. When you're

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Speaker 1: in a tight situation under any kind of pressure. Let's

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Speaker 1: say somebody pulls out in front of you. Let's use

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Speaker 1: road rage. They pull right out in front of you.

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Speaker 1: There's only two things that you have that are going

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Speaker 1: to tell you what to do. All the information we

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Speaker 1: have comes from one of two places, and that's either

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Speaker 1: the genetics that were passed on to us by our

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Speaker 1: biological parents or the memories and experiences we have from

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Speaker 1: this lifetime. Those are the two forms of information we

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Speaker 1: have to make decisions. Now, you tell me if my

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Speaker 1: definition of road rage is correct. I think road rage

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Speaker 1: is caused by a bad or inconsiderate driver who does

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Speaker 1: something to someone who's having a lousy moment. Is that possible?

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Speaker 1: I think that that context is very, very likely, And

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Speaker 1: there's a number of other contexts. Right A guy could

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Speaker 1: be driving down the road and he's going to the

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Speaker 1: hospital because his wife just had a heart attack, and

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Speaker 1: so he's not even thinking right, and you can't blame

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Speaker 1: him no, right in the biggest question is is if

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Speaker 1: you're driving and all of a sudden you're angry, is

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Speaker 1: that going to give you a better chance to not

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Speaker 1: get in an accident or is that going to increase

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Speaker 1: your odds? I remember Bob a couple of years ago,

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Speaker 1: after the show, Tom dan Heiser had a situation and

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Speaker 1: I had to take him fast to the hospital, And

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Speaker 1: it was right after the show, and I am going

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Speaker 1: through red lights and thank god there was no traffic.

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Speaker 1: I'm going through red lights and everything, and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, there's flashing a police light behind me. Whoa,

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Speaker 1: And I'm saying, I can't stop. I got to get

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Speaker 1: this guy to the emergency room. He's in pain. And

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Speaker 1: I rolled down my window. He's got his spotlight on

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Speaker 1: me and he's saying, you know, with his speaker, pull over,

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Speaker 1: pull over, And I said, sir, it's it's so instant.

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Speaker 1: I told him who I was, and he went, I

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Speaker 1: just got done listening to you. I said, my producer's

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Speaker 1: got a problem. He said, follow me. So he is

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Speaker 1: racing through red lights with his siren on and I'm

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Speaker 1: right behind him, and he is like paving the path

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Speaker 1: to get to the hospital. And I got Tommy there

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Speaker 1: and he's okay, and everything worked out. But but you're right,

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Speaker 1: because during these episodes of extreme gosh, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to say. It is, but people react in different ways.

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Speaker 1: Right in the ability that humans have, In fact, it

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Speaker 1: probably separates us from all other species, and probably why

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Speaker 1: we control the planet is that we have the ability.

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Speaker 1: Most people refer to it his self awareness, but we

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Speaker 1: have the ability to catch ourselves when we're not in control,

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Speaker 1: when we're angry and fearful, and we can say, wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, this isn't the best thing for me, and

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Speaker 1: we can calm ourselves down, kind of like you did

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Speaker 1: with the police officer when he pulls up and he

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Speaker 1: shows that I'm sure you were pretty calm when the

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Speaker 1: situation to him, right, Absolutely, I figured control. I got

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Speaker 1: a good police officer. Most of them are, but I

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Speaker 1: got a good one, and he understood that he knew

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Speaker 1: the show, which I think made things even easier for us.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what would have happened had I had

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Speaker 1: an officer who was having a bad day who would

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Speaker 1: have just said, pull over, I don't care who the

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Speaker 1: heck you are. I was going to have to tell

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Speaker 1: him called nine one one please, because this guy's he's

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Speaker 1: in pain. Right or if you weren't in control, you

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Speaker 1: may not even have made it. You may have gotten

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Speaker 1: into accident. That's true. That's true, and so yeah, being

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Speaker 1: in control is what we've got to learn, and we've

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Speaker 1: got the ability to do it. Why is it that

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Speaker 1: some people are in control, Bob and others lose it? Well,

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Speaker 1: you're that's a tough question because the kind of the

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Speaker 1: jury's kind of out because our brains are so complicated, George,

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Speaker 1: to try to figure out why we do what we

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Speaker 1: do is almost like fool's gold. So what we do

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Speaker 1: know about it is that some people have the ability

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Speaker 1: to watch what they're doing while they're doing it. The

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Speaker 1: way a great NBA coach told me once what separates

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Speaker 1: the superstars from all the other players is that they

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Speaker 1: see the game in slow motion. I was just going

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Speaker 1: to say that, I, you know, I'm from Detroit, like

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Speaker 1: you are right, and you know, I used to read

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Speaker 1: stories about Gordy Howe, the great hockey player, or the

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Speaker 1: great baseball players, Mickey Mantle, all of them, Bob all

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Speaker 1: of them said they had the ability to slow the

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Speaker 1: puck down or the baseball that was pitched at them

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Speaker 1: in slow motion. All of them said that, yeah, Ted Williams,

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Speaker 1: all of them. And so that's basically what gives you

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Speaker 1: the ability to be in control is you have to

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Speaker 1: learn how to make those tough situations slow down. And

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Speaker 1: the way you get it to slow down, and it

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Speaker 1: might seem funny, is if in your mind you believe

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Speaker 1: that you're better off in control than angry or fearful.

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Speaker 1: You have to believe that. If you believe that, then

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Speaker 1: when you're in those situations, your brain will remind you, Hey,

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Speaker 1: where not where we want to be right now? And

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Speaker 1: like any habit, it's something that you have to practice

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Speaker 1: on a daily basis. And that's why when I do

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Speaker 1: my coaching and my programs, they're thirty days long because

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Speaker 1: you practice that for thirty straight days of just being

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Speaker 1: able to see how you're feeling when you're in tight spots,

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Speaker 1: and you're always better off when you calm down, and

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Speaker 1: so your brain starts remembering it's much better when I

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Speaker 1: calm down. And after you do that over a certain

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Speaker 1: period of time, it becomes a habit. I bet you've

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Speaker 1: seen some dramatic results after thirty days, haven't you. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's all that's all it takes. But the

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Speaker 1: person has to do it for thirty days. It's the

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Speaker 1: same like with New Year's resolutions. The reason they don't

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Speaker 1: get out of January is because people don't do them

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Speaker 1: every day. They have to do it, so the mindset

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Speaker 1: has to be there, doesn't it. Yep, yep, it's definitely

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Speaker 1: all up happening up in your brain. And you're in.

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Speaker 1: All of our brains are plenty powerful, because I mean,

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Speaker 1: we've got a hundred billion neurons up on our head

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Speaker 1: George firing away all the time and when and they're connected.

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Speaker 1: We've got one hundred trillion passageways up there. Yes, I mean,

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Speaker 1: we are by far the most sophisticated thing in the

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Speaker 1: whole solar system. So we've all got all we need.

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Speaker 1: It's being able to train ourselves that when we start

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Speaker 1: feeling ourselves getting worked up, that bell goes off on

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Speaker 1: our head because we've practiced that says, hey, it's not

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Speaker 1: in my best interest to be like this. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to slow down, take a deep breath, because that's what's

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Speaker 1: going to make me the best I can be. Listen

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Speaker 1: to more Coast to Coast AM every weeknight at one

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Speaker 1: am Eastern and go to Coast to Coast am dot

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Speaker 1: com for more