1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,120 Speaker 1: First date of follow up powered by the Advocates Injury 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: Attorneys online at advocuslaw dot com. 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 2: Maya is on the phone today for a first date 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,560 Speaker 2: follow up and she's getting ghosted by a guy named Aaron. 5 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 2: So in a second we're going to call him and 6 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 2: see fields house why is a ghostinger? And maybe get 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 2: her another date if she still wants one. But first, Maya, 8 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 2: how long has it been since you heard from Aaron? 9 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 3: It's been a month? 10 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: Oh, a long time. 11 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 4: Why do you want to get a hold of him 12 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 4: if it's been a whole month? 13 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 3: Well, I just really felt like we had a really 14 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 3: good connection, you know what. The conversation was really effortless, 15 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 3: and we had a lot in common, and he just 16 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 3: felt really special. And you know, it's kind of hard 17 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 3: to find that some nowadays, you know, and like hard 18 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 3: to meet people and it's hard to really feel that 19 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 3: gimuine connections. Both I thought it was special and I 20 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 3: wish you're thinking about him. 21 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: Have you tried to reach out to him in this time? 22 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 5: I have. 23 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 3: I reached out to him three times, but I haven't 24 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 3: urged that. 25 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: What do you say when you reach out? 26 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 3: Well, first time, it was like, oh, I had a 27 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 3: great time. It was it was really great getting to 28 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 3: know you'd like to see you again. And then the 29 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 3: second time it was pretty much the same, like oh, 30 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 3: just you know, just reach out again, you know, just 31 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 3: seeing how you're doing. And then the third time I 32 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 3: was kind of concerned for his well being because I 33 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 3: was like, well, maybe something happened to him, you know, 34 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 3: and I was just he was okay. 35 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: But I still haven't heard anything, and why don't you 36 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: tell us about the date? How did all of that go? 37 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 3: It was crazy. 38 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 4: We met this really cool jazz bar and it was 39 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 4: a really romantic atmosphere and we both were both really 40 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 4: into music, so you know, we were listening to music 41 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 4: and talking about the music, and then we just really clicked. 42 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 3: We sho had a few dreams. We had this really 43 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 3: nice little boose, so it was really easy to talk 44 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 3: and that's about our work of traveling and our where 45 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 3: we want to go, like what places we want to 46 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 3: go to, and we talked about uh, you know, our 47 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 3: pets and our passions and it was really just great 48 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 3: and he was really funny. He was making me laugh, 49 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,799 Speaker 3: and it just kind of felt like we known each 50 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 3: other for years, you know, and we did uh we 51 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:17,399 Speaker 3: did share a kids at the end of the night, 52 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 3: which I usually don't do, but I was was going 53 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,399 Speaker 3: so well. 54 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: So you know, you sound so giddy right now just 55 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: reliving it. 56 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think I could just really help for him, 57 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 3: you know. And then and it was a really kiss, 58 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 3: do you know like too? I think so, I mean, 59 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 3: I I think he I think he did, you know, 60 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 3: could be in his eyes and and and he and 61 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 3: he said, you know, I had a really great time 62 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 3: and I'd like to see you again, and just and 63 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 3: just really know just the way that uh, the kiss, well, 64 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,519 Speaker 3: you know it was you know, it started out we 65 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: cut tentative, and then it got you know, we got 66 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 3: kind of into it and and and it just felt 67 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 3: so you know, so so naturally you just kind of 68 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 3: figure out the angles and everything, and. 69 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 1: It just why do you think you're getting ghosted? 70 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 3: Wow? Okay, this is embarrassing. But you know, he was 71 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 3: really funny, and he was you know, you know, just. 72 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 6: Like cutting jokes the whole night and cracking me up. 73 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 6: I love a guy with st of humor, you know. 74 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 6: And he made this one that's really funny joke and 75 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 6: high laughed so hard, like some snatching out of my mouth. 76 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 6: I don't know if you saw it. He was kind 77 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 6: of looking away, but it was kind of it was 78 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 6: dark in the clubs, so maybe he didn't see it 79 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 6: and I worked into its real quick. But uh, maybe 80 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:46,839 Speaker 6: he did. 81 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 3: Maybe he was like, oh, like. 82 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: A little embrassing. I mean, I wouldn't go somebody for that, 83 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: you know. 84 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 2: I just take it as a compliment that I made 85 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 2: them laugh so hard that they couldn't control their snot. 86 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: Oh that's so cute. Yeah, all right, welcome, we'll see 87 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: if we can figure it out. 88 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 2: We'll play a song, come back, and then call him 89 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 2: and see if he'll tell us why he's ghosting you 90 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 2: and maybe get you another date. 91 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: Okay, oh, thank you, I appreciate it. Pla us on 92 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: come back and get your first day follow up next. 93 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 2: Right in the middle of today's first Day follow up, 94 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 2: if you're just joining us, Maya is on the phone 95 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 2: and she's getting ghosted by a dude named Aaron. So 96 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 2: we're about to call him and see if he'll tell 97 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 2: us why he's Ghostinger and maybe get her another date. 98 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 2: But first, Maya, why don't you refresh everybody's memory about 99 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 2: your date with Erin. 100 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, well it was really great. We met up 101 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 3: at this really nice jazz bar. We heard some great music, 102 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 3: we had a booth, was a really nice intimate date, 103 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 3: and we had a nice conversation and he was really 104 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 3: funny and we really hit it off, being a lot 105 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 3: in common, and we even had a really nice kids 106 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 3: at the end of the day. And I'll would love 107 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 3: to see him again. And I even texted him a 108 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 3: few times and I just never heard anything back. And 109 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 3: it's been a out of months. 110 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: Okay, you ready for us to call him? 111 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 3: Yeah? 112 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 2: A little nervous then, alrighty, and you think the reason 113 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 2: you're getting ghosted is because you blew us, not rocket. 114 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: I'm saying that she just a little came out, which 115 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 1: she's laughing. Big different. 116 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 2: All right, here we go. I'm gonna dollas one number. 117 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 2: Hello him, I speak to Aaron. Please. 118 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 3: This is Aaron. 119 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 2: Aaron, Hey man, how are you? My name is Jewbell. 120 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 2: I'm calling from a radio show. It's called the Jebel Show. 121 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 1: Hi, Aaron, I'm Nina also on the show. Hey, and 122 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 1: I'm Victoria. How many people know this? Three? 123 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:44,359 Speaker 3: Okay? 124 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: Okay, and it's a radio show. I don't know if 125 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: you heard that part. I did. Okay, have you ever 126 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: listened to the show before? 127 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: Uh? Sometimes on my way to work? 128 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 2: Okay, cool? Have you ever heard of first State follow 129 00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 2: up before? I? Yeah, I guess okay, that's good. Well, 130 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 2: guess what erin? 131 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 3: I'm on it. 132 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: You are now the star of one. 133 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,720 Speaker 3: Okay. 134 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: Do you have any idea who would email us about you? 135 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 5: I might have an idea. 136 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 3: I don't really date many people. 137 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: Okay, who do you think? It is? 138 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 5: Probably Maya? 139 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: Guess what erin? You're absolutely correct. 140 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 2: My emailed us and told us about your date, and 141 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 2: she wants to know why your ghost would you tell us? 142 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 5: I'm sure it's kind of crazy timing. So I have 143 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 5: real bad anxiety and I'm kind of working through it 144 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 5: with my therapist, and we actually in my last session 145 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 5: just talked about Maya, And you know, I feel bad 146 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 5: for not reaching out and possibly hurting her feelings. But I, 147 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 5: you know, I try to. I find myself figure on 148 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 5: the phone to call her or you know, respond to 149 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,679 Speaker 5: her text messages, but I just I just can't. 150 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: Okay, So your therapist is helping you with that, Like, 151 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: do you think that you're going to reach out to her? 152 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 3: Like? 153 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: Was that part of the plan? 154 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 3: That was it. 155 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 5: I just haven't been able to you know, preset call button. 156 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: Okay, you just care call her. 157 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just I don't know what to say. 158 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 5: And now it's been about a month and it just 159 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 5: makes things a little worse. And now I'm on the radio. 160 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: Maybe it's good timing though, because maybe this will put 161 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: you in a position to not have to worry about 162 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: what to say because she wants to know why you're 163 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: not calling it. 164 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 3: I guess that helps. 165 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: Is that anxiety or what? Yeah? 166 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, I fear of rejection, I guess is what my 167 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 5: therapists said. 168 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: Okay, Like I said, I don't. 169 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 2: Really date much, so when I do date Aaron, have 170 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 2: you ever heard of the term cognitive behavioral therapy? 171 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 1: Uh no, okay, cool, Well I'm going to tell you 172 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: what it is. 173 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 2: So cognitive behavioral therapy is when if you have like 174 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 2: a fear of something, they put you in that situation 175 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 2: so that you can see that it goes well and 176 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 2: then you can start to relieve that fear. So like 177 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 2: if you're scared of jumping into water, does take you 178 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 2: and jumping into water and you'll be okay, and then 179 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 2: you'll be like, Okay, it's not that scary. 180 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 3: That sounds terrifying. 181 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 2: And the reason that I bring that up to explain 182 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 2: that to you is Maya's actually on the phone listening 183 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 2: and wants to talk to you. 184 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 7: So okay, hey, it's good to hear your sorry, you know, 185 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 7: well hearing your reason. 186 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 6: I mean, it makes sense, and it doesn't make me 187 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 6: relieve because I thought that you just lost interest And 188 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 6: are you just gonna want to see me or embarrassing myself? 189 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 3: No, but it's more of the opposite. 190 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, I have you know, I care about you or 191 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 5: I have strong feelings and I'm not sure how to 192 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 5: go through it. 193 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 3: Well, well, I care about you too, and I understand. 194 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 3: Just you know, it did really hurt my feelings when 195 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 3: I never heard anything from you, and then I know, 196 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 3: very hard to work through, you know. I sometimes I 197 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 3: think it can be an excuse, you know, not to 198 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 3: tell your true feelings. 199 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. 200 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 5: I just I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or 201 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 5: my own, So I. 202 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 3: Just you know, so is it an excuse? 203 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 5: I mean no, No, I really liked you. I really 204 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 5: like you, and i'd like to, you know, hang out. 205 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 3: But it's it's tough. Oh, I understand, and I don't 206 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 3: want to do too and be awkward. I didn't think 207 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 3: you're awkward at all. When we had our date. I 208 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 3: thought it was great and the conversation was great, and 209 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 3: you were really charming and funny and and i'd like 210 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 3: to see you again. And I'm willing to work with you, 211 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 3: you know, and the understanding seeing how much I was saying. 212 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: Would you like to go out with mya again, We'll 213 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: pay for it? 214 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, you look at that. 215 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: That's exciting. 216 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 2: You got a second date, Maya, and we hear to 217 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 2: Aaron's fear of rejection. 218 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: Isn't that amazing? 219 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 5: Maybe I should pay you guys. 220 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: Will's first date follow up