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Speaker 1: Okayopie. Hello, I'm Samuel Daughner and I'm John Fratt, and

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Speaker 1: this is okayop We tell the most interesting stories on Reddit.

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Speaker 1: This is an ask Reddit thread. What is your accidentally

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Speaker 1: caught your spouse cheating horror story? My ex wife was

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Speaker 1: an alcoholic, like bad alcoholic. One time I get home

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Speaker 1: from my night shift a little early, and you guessed it,

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Speaker 1: she was thrown cold Austin drunk. Oh god, Well, I

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Speaker 1: was feeling a little frisky and she's usually drunk when

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Speaker 1: we hook up anyway, so what the hell you know?

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Speaker 1: I put the moves on her and she's like down.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, we're hooking up and it's dark, and she says,

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Speaker 1: you need to hurry up, and so I ask, uh why.

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Speaker 1: She says he's going to be home soon? Uh? Who

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Speaker 1: my husband? You e fing idiot? Yeah? So I stand up,

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Speaker 1: flip on the light, and this girl looks absolutely baffled.

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Speaker 1: She's completely drunk and totally dumbfounded. Oh master, who did

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Speaker 1: you think I was hooking up with? So we're hooking

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Speaker 1: up and it's dark, and she says you need to

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Speaker 1: hurry up. So I ask why he's going to be

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Speaker 1: home soon? Who? My husband, you evy idiot. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I stand up and flip on the light. All right,

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Speaker 1: there be lights, and this girl looks absolutely baffled. She's

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Speaker 1: completely drunk and totally dumbfounded. Who did you think was

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Speaker 1: hooking up with you? Uh? What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Never mind, I'll talk to you in the morning. I'm

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Speaker 1: not even that drunk. She didn't even know what the

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Speaker 1: f I was on about. So I go to bed

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Speaker 1: on the couch and I'm sitting there just like mulling

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Speaker 1: over the stuff in my head, and I hear her

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Speaker 1: come down the stairs. She goes into the kitchen, and

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Speaker 1: I hear the drawer shut. A few seconds later, I

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Speaker 1: from my eyes and there she is standing over me

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Speaker 1: with a knife. Whoa, whoa, whoa yeah, whoa whoa life

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Speaker 1: And she ain't cooking up some cellarie from mass spaghetti. Shit,

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Speaker 1: She's not chopping some bell Peppersah. I promptly take the

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Speaker 1: knife away from her and tell her to go to bed.

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Speaker 1: It's a good idea, pude, and she obliges without saying

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Speaker 1: a single word. I grabbed the kids and put them

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Speaker 1: in the car and drive them to my mom's house,

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Speaker 1: where we spend the night. She starts blowing up my

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Speaker 1: phone around ten AM, frantic that she doesn't know where

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Speaker 1: the kids are. We have a mini intervention and she

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Speaker 1: promises to go to AA and I attempt to erase

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Speaker 1: the entire night from my memory, but this obviously doesn't work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll say. About a month later, she hasn't held up

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Speaker 1: on her AA agreements, and she's pretty much going back

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Speaker 1: to her old ways. I come home from work and

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Speaker 1: I see an La Dodger's hat on the couch. Who

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Speaker 1: is over I ask, nobody, Are you sure? Uh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't f and bs me? Who was over here? Are

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Speaker 1: you calling me an effing liar? Yeah? I am, because

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Speaker 1: there's never had on the buffet couch. At this point,

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Speaker 1: she can cox some stupid story about a neighbor coming

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Speaker 1: to borrow something like some lands, you know, like the.

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Speaker 2: Plumber pools, the pipes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thanks the pipes. I knew she was lying

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Speaker 1: at this point. I had pretty much given up on

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Speaker 1: the marriage, but I didn't know what to do, and

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Speaker 1: I was afraid if I divorced her, she'd somehow get

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Speaker 1: the kids. A lot more stuff happens over the next month,

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Speaker 1: including her making up a story about Mexicans, jumping her,

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Speaker 1: my neighbor calling child protective services, me catching her actually

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Speaker 1: kissing a guy, and two potheads admitting to hooking up

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Speaker 1: with her at the same time. Then one day in

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Speaker 1: July two thousand and eight, I asked her to have

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Speaker 1: a seat. I told her that I was filing for divorce.

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Speaker 1: She put up a fight, but I won full custody

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Speaker 1: of my kids. I started dating again and have been

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Speaker 1: with my new and improved wife for nine years now.

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Speaker 1: The end. Yeah, there we go. Finally we was just

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Speaker 1: drowning in negativity. Guys. Yeah, Jesus, we found a shining style. Dude.

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Speaker 1: What like the thing is, why does it take so

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Speaker 1: long for these people to leave, dude? Yeah, they really

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Speaker 1: really need to freaking go. Like I would have been like, listen,

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Speaker 1: this is like beyond on accept like the knife thinking

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Speaker 1: I was out of the guys, I was about to

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Speaker 1: stab you, bro.

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Speaker 2: Literally, it's like this is beyond unacceptable. Here's exactly the

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Speaker 2: chances you have, Boom, go to AA this week. Whatever

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Speaker 2: it is, right you like, lay it out, Here's what

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Speaker 2: it is. Let's make a pact right now. If you

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Speaker 2: don't take these steps, it is.

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Speaker 1: Over, madam. But a bang by a boom, like, hut,

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Speaker 1: that's just.

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Speaker 2: Way too This isn't like like oh I was sending

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Speaker 2: flirty text her like she has a knife over you.

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Speaker 2: She's clearly cheated on you, aholic, like if you're just

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Speaker 2: too far gone.

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Speaker 1: And also like there's it's one thing to think of

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Speaker 1: your relationship, but think of the show. Yeah, the kids,

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Speaker 1: that kids are there, bro, you gotta you gotta separate

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Speaker 1: them from that nuns. What happened? What happened if she

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Speaker 1: like fell over and stabbed the dad exactly, so many

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Speaker 1: things could have gone wrong. I'm also wondering where the

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Speaker 1: kids are in all this, Like where they just like

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Speaker 1: standing by wall this was happening.

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Speaker 2: Probably, I mean this sounds like this was at night

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Speaker 2: and they were drunk and getting frisky.

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Speaker 1: In their yeah, in their bedroom, freaking bruh.

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Speaker 2: Like you know they probably It's like kids don't one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent know what's going on, but you know the

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Speaker 2: effects of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they have an idea, but gosh darn dang, get

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Speaker 1: your ship together. That's right. If you haven't already for

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Speaker 1: uscrab subscribe, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Use the harmony and find the harmony within your finger

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Speaker 2: to tap the subscribe. Yeah on mobile or desktop? Oh

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Speaker 2: that's right, we're on all okayop, what.

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Speaker 1: Is your accident? Caught your spouse cheating? Horror story? Top

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Speaker 1: five countdown. Not my wife's notebook.

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Speaker 2: Written on the first page was a ten step planned

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Speaker 2: detailing how she was gonna leave me for another guy.

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Speaker 1: I turned that into one step their turn a curve.

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Speaker 1: Good on you, pie.

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Speaker 2: Her phone went off and she asked me to read

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Speaker 2: what it said. I looked at it, and it said

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Speaker 2: I want to Benji over and spank you. And I'm

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Speaker 2: not talking time out, folks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this ain't no pre school thank you. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: her boss, right, it was in some corporal punishment hotel.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't related to the industry shout out from a

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Speaker 2: recent episode that you have probably heard. If you're uh,

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Speaker 2: super super fan walked in on my girlfriend while she

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Speaker 2: was getting frisky with another guy.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing here? She says, you gave me

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Speaker 1: a key.

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Speaker 2: Remember I ended up not working today and wanted to

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Speaker 2: surprise you.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, the worries I imagine, like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna surprise that girl CV And then you're

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Speaker 1: like Oh what, I feel so bad for pro.

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Speaker 2: Fifteen years later, she reaches out leaves me a message

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Speaker 2: saying she'd like to talk. I figured she was doing

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Speaker 2: some twelve step thing or something and wants to make amends.

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Speaker 1: Nope, she just wanted to try and sell me amway. Bro.

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Speaker 1: Is it like it's like a multi level marketing. It's like, hey, boss, babe, dude,

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Speaker 1: can you imagine God? Like, hey, have you been like yah.

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Speaker 2: Me while you were inside while someone else was inside you?

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Speaker 2: My ex left me at Disney with her two kids

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Speaker 2: and her grandchild to rush home and be with her side.

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Speaker 1: Dude, that's a new level of insult. You neglect your

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Speaker 1: kids and your hands get that. Oh my god, dude, dude,

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Speaker 1: the only d that you should be getting on Disneyland

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Speaker 1: is that weird looking at the beginning of Disneyland because

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Speaker 1: you've got grandchildren. Lady, Yeah, be out in the sun.

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Speaker 1: Actually be with your gratitude, take some suppluments.

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Speaker 2: And finally, film got a text from her friend who

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Speaker 2: was in the kitchen with her, so I assumed one

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Speaker 2: of them sent it to me. I opened her phone

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Speaker 2: to see a we wi.

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Speaker 1: That's not the salami you want in the kitchen. Her

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Speaker 1: friend does not have one.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm divorced and do not trust texts from friends.

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Speaker 1: Agreed, So there you have it. Tough on countdown.

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Speaker 2: This is a juicy thread, juicy thread, lots of lots

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Speaker 2: of juice, lots.

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Speaker 1: Of juice, lots of juices in different, different, different kinds

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Speaker 1: of fluids. If you catch mind, we're drifting all over guys.

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Speaker 1: That concludes another one. If you haven't already subscribed, just

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Speaker 1: do it, Just do it. Man, this far, what's the

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Speaker 1: worst thing that happen. We'll see you next time. See

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Speaker 1: you