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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letters Steve BARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We guide it for you. Here it is Scrawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject I get bored with men quickly.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty two year old woman,

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Speaker 1: single woman. I am afraid that I will be a

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Speaker 1: certified loaner all of my life because I get bored

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Speaker 1: with men quickly. Maybe I'm attracted to the wrong men.

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Speaker 1: So I'm writing you because it's cheaper thanotherapist. I was

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Speaker 1: dating a guy that pursued me for months. I liked

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Speaker 1: him a lot, but played it off so I could

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Speaker 1: be pursued. After a few dozen roses being sent to me,

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Speaker 1: I agreed to go out with him. Our first few

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Speaker 1: dates were great, but he's not big on opening doors

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Speaker 1: for me and pulling out my chair when we dined out.

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Speaker 1: He smelled good and he was nicely groomed, but he

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Speaker 1: wore sneakers with everything. He also started talking about sex

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Speaker 1: too soon and made jokes about my curves that were distasteful.

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Speaker 1: I guess you would say I'm a hopeless romantic, and

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Speaker 1: I've watched too many black and white movies, so I

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Speaker 1: expect to be I expect to have a love story

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Speaker 1: similar to what I see in the movies. I get

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Speaker 1: bored quickly and start to lose interest in the men

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Speaker 1: when things don't go as I had imagined. I tried

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Speaker 1: online dating, and recently I met a man that checked

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Speaker 1: all of the boxes. But he has a six year

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Speaker 1: old child. He has soul custody, and he is the

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Speaker 1: sweetest girl dad. Everything was going great, and his child

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Speaker 1: even went on a few dates with us. I got

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Speaker 1: baby fever really bad, and he could see. He said

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Speaker 1: he could see us having children together. I prayed that

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't lose interest or get bored with him, but

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Speaker 1: I did. Right out, we made love for the first time.

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Speaker 1: It was boring, and he doesn't know what he's doing.

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Speaker 1: He said he was nervous, but he's in his forties,

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Speaker 1: so he should know better. I'm still with him and

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Speaker 1: I'm bored. He knows something is wrong, but I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be honest. I'm a big part of the problem.

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Speaker 1: So how do I fix myself? Why do I get bored? Quickly? Well,

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Speaker 1: you told us what you don't like, but not really

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Speaker 1: what you do like. I mean, honestly, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you're looking for a perfection from these men. Like maybe

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Speaker 1: you think what you see in the movies, these black

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Speaker 1: and white movies that you watch, maybe you think that's

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Speaker 1: real life. Well that's not real those movies. It's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with wanting a gentleman to open doors for you

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Speaker 1: and pull your chair out for you, nothing wrong with

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Speaker 1: that at all. But the guy you dated wasn't that,

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Speaker 1: and the sex talk was too soon for you. You said,

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Speaker 1: well that's who he is. You didn't like it, and

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Speaker 1: you moved on from him.

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Speaker 3: Good.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't for you. It didn't mean he was boring necessarily,

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Speaker 1: he just wasn't your type. Second guy, nice guy, boring

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom. According to you, it wasn't your first time.

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Speaker 1: It was his first time, he said, And he said

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Speaker 1: he was nervous, which I believe because he could have

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Speaker 1: been nervous the first time. And just because someone's in

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Speaker 1: their forties doesn't mean he automatically knows how to please you.

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Speaker 1: These things, these things take time. You got to get

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Speaker 1: to know each other. You got to talk to each other,

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Speaker 1: communicate what you like, what you don't like. You are

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Speaker 1: half of the problem because in order for anything or

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Speaker 1: any relationship to work, you got to put in some work.

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Speaker 1: But you don't. You want everything just so, just so perfect, immediately,

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Speaker 1: and you're gone because you're bored. If it's not that

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Speaker 1: no one's saying you have to stay in an unfulfilling situation,

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Speaker 1: but you should give a good man a chance. That's

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Speaker 1: all I'm saying, Steve, it's.

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Speaker 3: An interesting letter from this young lady that's thirty two

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Speaker 3: years old. So I'll try to approach this from a

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Speaker 3: dad's standpoint. And what I know about me, which is

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Speaker 3: a lot. I know a lot about men. Not that

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Speaker 3: great on women, but now I know a heck of

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Speaker 3: a lot about men. But once you get into relationship,

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Speaker 3: I can tell you where his head is at. You're

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Speaker 3: afraid that you will be a certified learner all of

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Speaker 3: your life because I get bored with men quickly.

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Speaker 2: There's a huge.

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Speaker 3: Part of your problem in that first line, I get

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Speaker 3: bored with men quickly, So guess what's gonna continue to happen.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna get bored with men quickly because you've accepted that.

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Speaker 2: As a flaw.

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Speaker 3: You've done nothing to change it, so you've just accepted it.

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Speaker 2: So now here we are. Okay.

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Speaker 3: You think it's cheaper than a therapist, I'll do what

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Speaker 3: I can do. I liked him a lot. I met

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Speaker 3: a guy pursued me for months. After a dozen roses,

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Speaker 3: he said, I agreed to go out with him.

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Speaker 2: First dates.

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Speaker 3: Was great, but he wasn't big on opening doors pulling

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Speaker 3: our chairs when we went out. He smelled good, really groomed,

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Speaker 3: but he wore sneakers with everything that can be changed.

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Speaker 2: Damn.

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Speaker 3: Some dudes don't know no better. And that's what people

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Speaker 3: do now. They were sneakers with everything that could have

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Speaker 3: been changed. So and the don't open doors and pulling

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Speaker 3: our chairs that could have been changed. I tell women

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Speaker 3: this all the time. You can train a man how

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Speaker 3: to treat you. If you go to the door and

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Speaker 3: you stand there in that door, then he don't see

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Speaker 3: that you've been waiting on him to open it.

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Speaker 2: He gon. You know that's it.

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Speaker 3: You all go out to dinner. Just stand at your chair, Marjorie,

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Speaker 3: don't open no doors. We go to dinner, Marjorie standing

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Speaker 3: in her chair. She know I'm coming, and if something

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Speaker 3: happened and throw me off, she's staying right there.

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Speaker 2: You could have good. Did that?

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Speaker 3: I expect to have a love story like you see

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Speaker 3: in the movies. Here we go right back again. I

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Speaker 3: get bored quickly and start to lose interest in men

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Speaker 3: with things don't go as I had imagined. Okay, you

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Speaker 3: just you keep losing me because it don't go as

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Speaker 3: how you would imagine.

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Speaker 2: Let me say this before we go to break.

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Speaker 3: You have all these expectations in this letter, and I've

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Speaker 3: heard no expectations of yourself in this letter. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 3: this is a very one side of relationship you're trying

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Speaker 3: to have. I'll tell you the rest.

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Speaker 2: They want to come back.

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Speaker 1: All right, hold it right there. We'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of your response coming up at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour today. Strawberry letter, subject, I get bored with

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Speaker 1: men quickly. We'll get back into it right after this. Hey,

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Speaker 1: this is your girl, Shirley Strawberry and According to research,

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Speaker 1: a major challenge that many employees face is the pressure

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Speaker 1: You can invite top candidates for your job to apply.

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Speaker 1: Go to ZipRecruiter dot com slash strawberry to try it

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Speaker 1: for free. That's ZipRecruiter dot com slash strawberry. All right,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject

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Speaker 1: is I get bored with men quickly.

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Speaker 2: Well, like I said, this is the problem in this

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Speaker 2: whole letter.

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Speaker 3: This young lady gets bored with me and quickly, and

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Speaker 3: so all throughout the letter she meet She meets a guy.

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Speaker 2: He was everything. He was nice, he just wasn't big

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Speaker 2: on chivalry.

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Speaker 3: He don't pull out chairs, open doors, and he wears

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Speaker 3: he dressed nice, but he wears sneakers with everything. Those

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Speaker 3: three things you just said change. He ain't mistreating you.

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Speaker 2: In this letter. You know, he he's not kind.

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Speaker 3: He didn't open a door or and he didn't pull

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Speaker 3: out a chair is because chivalry has not been taught

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Speaker 3: to him, but you could teach it to him. And

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Speaker 3: the fact that he were sneakers with everything you could

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Speaker 3: have worked with that. See all these expectations in this letter.

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Speaker 3: Like I said before we went on break, the problem is,

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Speaker 3: you have no expectations of yourself. There are women who

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Speaker 3: have got with men who weren't complete and work and

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Speaker 3: worked on completing though, but you ain't willing to do that.

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Speaker 3: You won't miss the ready man. But you're not. I

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Speaker 3: tell you then, but you're not. I don't see you

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Speaker 3: building a man up. I don't see you getting ready

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Speaker 3: to support him. I don't see none of that. All right,

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Speaker 3: So that one didn't happen. Then you say he also

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Speaker 3: started talking about having sex too soon, and he made

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Speaker 3: jokes about your curves that were distastful.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all that could have been worth it anyway.

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Speaker 3: I guess you would say I'm a hopeless romantic because

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Speaker 3: I watched a lot of black and white movies. I

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Speaker 3: expect to have a love story similar to what I

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Speaker 3: see in the movies. You know how old black and

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Speaker 3: white movies is. It don't work like that in the movies.

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Speaker 3: This is real life. You got to put in some work.

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Speaker 3: Then you go right back saying I get bored quickly,

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Speaker 3: and I started to lose interest in men when things

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Speaker 3: don't go as I had imagined.

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Speaker 2: See, you gonna let your imagination mess you up for

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Speaker 2: the rest of.

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Speaker 3: Your life because the reality of it is nobody's perfect.

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Speaker 3: Everybody has to make some little adjustments, and that would

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Speaker 3: include you.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 3: Then you recently met this man on line and guess what.

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Speaker 3: Checked all the boxes. But he had a six year

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Speaker 3: old child, soul custody. He's the sweetest girl.

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Speaker 2: Dad.

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Speaker 3: Everything was going great, his child even went on a

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Speaker 3: few dates with us. I got baby fever really bad,

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Speaker 3: and he said he could see us having children together. Okay,

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Speaker 3: let me ask you a question, sho. Well, she said,

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Speaker 3: I got baby fever real bad.

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Speaker 2: That means she wanted to have a baby exactly.

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Speaker 3: Okay, cool, all right now. And he said he could

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Speaker 3: see us having children together. I prayed that I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: lose interest or get bored with him, but I did.

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Speaker 2: Well, let's find out why.

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Speaker 3: Right after we made love for the first time, it

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Speaker 3: was boring and he doesn't know what he's doing. Okay,

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Speaker 3: he said, he was nervous, but he's in his forties

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Speaker 3: so he should know better.

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Speaker 2: There you go again. There you go a kid. He

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Speaker 2: was nervous, you said, but he in his forties. He

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Speaker 2: ought to know what he doing.

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Speaker 3: Well, But you got to give the man a chance anyway,

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Speaker 3: Let me eat, Okay, So now here we go. This

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Speaker 3: is another man that's slipping out perfect checked all the bloxes.

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Speaker 3: His love making is a little bit boring. And you

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Speaker 3: know what is it that these men are bored? Are

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Speaker 3: you too damn much? Which one could it be? Because

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Speaker 3: right now you have no criticism of yourself except you

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Speaker 3: get bored quickly. I'm still with him, and I'm bored. Okay, lady,

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Speaker 3: let the man go. Let him go, because I bet

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Speaker 3: you it's a woman out there will take all this

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Speaker 3: little bored him you're talking about and turn it into something.

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Speaker 2: He knows something's wrong. But I don't want to be honest.

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Speaker 3: Well you're not honest in it throughout this letter, with

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Speaker 3: them or yourself.

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Speaker 2: So how do I fix myself? Why do I get

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Speaker 2: bored quickly? Well?

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Speaker 3: I think you get bored quickly, because number one, you

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Speaker 3: say you get bored quickly.

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Speaker 2: You know you are as you think.

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Speaker 3: Whatever you set upon yourself in words, it's gonna manifest

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Speaker 3: itself in deeds and actions. You keep saying you bored

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Speaker 3: with me, and quickly, therefore anything that happened you cannot

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Speaker 3: justify what you said. I get bored quickly, stop saying that.

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Speaker 3: I tell you this one other time before. If you

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Speaker 3: keep saying I'm not a morning person every morning, you

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Speaker 3: ain't gonna be a morning person when you're gonna quit

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Speaker 3: doing that to yourself, stop saying you get bored with me,

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Speaker 3: and quickly start finding ways to stay with somebody instead

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Speaker 3: of trying to find a way to leave somebody.

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Speaker 2: It don't take nothing for you to leave. And I

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Speaker 2: got news for you.

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Speaker 3: The bedroom seems really important to you, So let me

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Speaker 3: intend say something to you.

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Speaker 2: Little listen, I get bored off you.

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Speaker 3: Since the bedroom seems to be so important to you,

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Speaker 3: I'm assuming you spent a lot of time working on

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Speaker 3: your expertise in that area. And because somebody else ain't

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Speaker 3: put the same amount of time and being an expert

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Speaker 3: in bed like you, now you bored with them.

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Speaker 2: But where has that expertise in bed gotten you?

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Speaker 3: By your damn self, that's what's done all right, I

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Speaker 3: just want to say this to you, young lady, before

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Speaker 3: you destroy another man talking about what they ain't what's

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Speaker 3: wrong with you.

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Speaker 2: You're talking about how you fix yourself.

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Speaker 3: You need to first of all, fix your expectations and

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Speaker 3: start putting some on yourself, because you have no expectations

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Speaker 3: on yourself. All your expectations are on these men, and

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Speaker 3: ain't none of them been able to live.

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Speaker 2: Up to it?

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Speaker 3: All right? Checking all the block boxes said, when we

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Speaker 3: get in this bed, you boring.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and

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Speaker 1: Facebook and Steve BRBFM and check us out on the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app now coming

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Speaker 1: up next to his Junior and sports Talk.

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Speaker 2: Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning

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Speaker 2: Show