WEBVTT - When to Walk Away Feat. Amina Buddafly

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh god you killed me? Thank you?

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to talk to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, and time.

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<v Speaker 2>Taking me and you together up?

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<v Speaker 3>We can.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe I can take you show.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey guys, welcome back to Frindal Advisory, Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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<v Speaker 2>This is Erica and Mila and we.

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<v Speaker 4>Have a special guest here today, my friend Amina Butterfly.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello. If you don't know Amina.

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<v Speaker 4>She is a super duper talented singer, beautiful single mama

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<v Speaker 4>of two beautiful little girls, one that's sitting right here.

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<v Speaker 3>At you.

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<v Speaker 4>In the house, make sure to check out her Instagram

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<v Speaker 4>is just.

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<v Speaker 2>Bu d d A. That's Fly. So how was your weekend?

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<v Speaker 2>My weekend was really good? Wait this weekend? I went

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<v Speaker 2>to New York this past weekend, did you? I don't know.

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<v Speaker 4>No, So we were we pre recorded our last episode

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<v Speaker 4>and we told you we were pre recording it because

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<v Speaker 4>we had Jamila had to do. She had a trip

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<v Speaker 4>planned and she was going to update us on her trip.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, So I went to Jersey to see my

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<v Speaker 1>homegirl and my little young thing over the weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>Again.

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<v Speaker 1>My friend has epic house parties, so she had an

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<v Speaker 1>epic Memorial Day house pool house party all day shindig.

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<v Speaker 2>It was poppin shout out to Amara. Yeah it was fun.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a good time. That's cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I did a little went out to Brooklyn and

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<v Speaker 1>hung out a little bit, chicked a little ass.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that was really mostly it.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Okay, I don't remember what I did Memorial Day weekends,

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<v Speaker 4>we'll just skip mine.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, what did you do this past Weekause? When you

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<v Speaker 2>did this past week, it was pretty fucking lit, bitch.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, if you were listening to our last episode, you

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<v Speaker 4>know that I got invited to Nicaragua and I was

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<v Speaker 4>conflicted on whether or not I was going to go. Well,

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<v Speaker 4>I went, and let me just tell you, it was

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<v Speaker 4>kind of a shit show. I mean it ended up

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<v Speaker 4>being okay, it was definitely an adventure. But yeah, I

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<v Speaker 4>went to Nicaragua, had to evacuate, had to evacuate the

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<v Speaker 4>day that I landed because they're trying to overthrow their president.

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<v Speaker 4>When I when I pulled in from the airport, the

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<v Speaker 4>sky came and picked me up. The person who invited

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<v Speaker 4>me didn't tell me the hotel was two and a

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<v Speaker 4>half hours away from the airport. So I'm driving in

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<v Speaker 4>the jungle at night with the stranger and then we

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<v Speaker 4>like get to this roadblock and there's like all these

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<v Speaker 4>trees in the street and masked men with machetes and

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<v Speaker 4>AK forty sevens, and I'm like, what the fuck I'm

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<v Speaker 4>gonna die And the guy.

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<v Speaker 2>Was like, Oh, it's okay, don't worry.

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<v Speaker 4>They just want money, and I'm like, oh, okay, don't worry.

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<v Speaker 2>So we pay them off.

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<v Speaker 4>Then we get to another place, but this time there's

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<v Speaker 4>like they've like started little fires.

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<v Speaker 2>There's like little fires. Girl.

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<v Speaker 4>They had like closed the road off with tree trunks

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<v Speaker 4>and then had lit fires like blowing off like fireworks,

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<v Speaker 4>and they were like having a party, but then also

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<v Speaker 4>had machetes and were masked and had AK forty seven

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<v Speaker 4>So it was really scary for an American and Central America.

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<v Speaker 4>So anyway, I finally got through, got to the hotel,

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<v Speaker 4>went to sleep, woke up, and enjoined Nicarago for.

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<v Speaker 2>Like four hours. Then our hotel called.

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<v Speaker 4>Us and Steven need to come back and we have

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<v Speaker 4>to evacuate because an American was killed and shit was

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<v Speaker 4>going down and we weren't able to fly out of

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<v Speaker 4>our airport anymore, so we had to rebook our flights

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<v Speaker 4>of Costa Rica across the border in Costa Rica, which

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<v Speaker 4>was definitely an adventure as well and.

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<v Speaker 2>Half hours ride from Nicaraga to Costa Rica.

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<v Speaker 4>The border was an hour and a half. So then

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<v Speaker 4>like we went through the border, they stamped our passports.

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<v Speaker 4>Like three other people looked at our passports and then

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<v Speaker 4>we drove off. So then we get like about almost

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<v Speaker 4>like forty five minutes into Costa Rica and there's another

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<v Speaker 4>passport stuff. They checked our passports and they're like, you

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<v Speaker 4>don't have a passport stamp for Costa Rica.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, yes, we do.

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<v Speaker 4>Someone stamped our passport and they were like no, it's

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<v Speaker 4>for Nicaragua.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like what, you gotta go back.

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<v Speaker 4>So we had to drive back again forty five minutes

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<v Speaker 4>to get the stamp.

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<v Speaker 2>And drive back.

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<v Speaker 4>It was cool anyway, Sunday was great. I spent the

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<v Speaker 4>day at the beach Nicaragua and.

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<v Speaker 2>It was good.

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<v Speaker 4>It was I'm tired, would you go back? I would

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<v Speaker 4>go back to both places. Nicaragua needs to calm the

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<v Speaker 4>fuck down, but after they do that, I will be back.

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<v Speaker 2>But for sure Costa Rica. It was fun and my

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<v Speaker 2>trip was fun. It was cool.

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<v Speaker 4>It was kind of a lesson, like don't go on

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<v Speaker 4>a trip with someone that you are not really that into.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, So did you feel obligated to?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, you know, women, we have this bad habit of

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<v Speaker 1>feeling obligated because you know, the society we live in,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, we feel like we have to give it

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<v Speaker 1>up just because they gave us, like a nice gift.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because I bought a plane tecut.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, that's part of the reason I went, because I

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<v Speaker 4>told you, like, I wanted to like challenge myself because yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>in the past, I felt like, oh, we'll be like

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<v Speaker 4>if you know, I'm sure so many people listening can relate.

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<v Speaker 4>Like you start to have sex, or you start to

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<v Speaker 4>do something with someone and you're afraid.

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<v Speaker 2>Like you're you're not into it.

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<v Speaker 4>You realize you're not into it, but you're afraid to

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<v Speaker 4>like tell them, so you just let it cap.

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<v Speaker 2>Because blue balls is a real disease. It's not even

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<v Speaker 2>that it's like you don't want to.

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<v Speaker 4>Make them feel bad or you just don't want to

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<v Speaker 4>deal with the awkwardness of like saying, hey, I changed

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<v Speaker 4>my mind.

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<v Speaker 2>I changed my mind, and fuck that.

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<v Speaker 4>You have every right to do that, and I know that,

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<v Speaker 4>but I still don't put it into practice because I'd

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<v Speaker 4>rather just avoid it, you know, you know, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I damn, but it's grown age. Do you think we'd

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<v Speaker 2>like be grown enough to be like no.

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<v Speaker 4>I know we're so independent not but it's just it's

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<v Speaker 4>a fucked up thing like that that women feel a blog,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, like obligated.

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<v Speaker 2>It's crazy, right.

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<v Speaker 4>So I was like, you know, if I feel like it,

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<v Speaker 4>then maybe I will. But I didn't feel like it.

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<v Speaker 4>I just didn't get them. I just wasn't feeling it

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<v Speaker 4>like that. Like I think the guy that I went

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<v Speaker 4>with is a really really nice guy and he's a friend,

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<v Speaker 4>like we're genuinely friends.

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<v Speaker 2>But I just it's not there. It's not no, it's no,

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<v Speaker 2>and there's nothing you could do about that. Like sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>she's think, oh my god, what a nice person.

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<v Speaker 1>You kind of have attractive maybe I should like you,

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<v Speaker 1>and then you're like, no, it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Not happening to happen. I was doing all those things.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, there's this. I was like, oh, why

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<v Speaker 2>this sucks? Man, he's got a ship together. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>So anyway, it was a great trip overall ish, but

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<v Speaker 4>I'm really happy to be home.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm exhausted. How was your weekend? A Mina would you

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<v Speaker 2>do well for memorial I was in Vegas. Oh, I

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<v Speaker 2>saw that. I was fun. It was crazy.

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<v Speaker 3>It was it was crazy but fun because we kind

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<v Speaker 3>of like balanced it out, like I didn't do more

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<v Speaker 3>than I think.

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<v Speaker 2>The first day we did like two parties, but the.

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<v Speaker 3>Second day we only did a day thing and the

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<v Speaker 3>night we relaxed, which was great because I drove and

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<v Speaker 3>the next morning I had to drive back to the kids.

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<v Speaker 2>So you went for one day, Yeah, I went for actually.

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<v Speaker 3>Two nights, two nights and one day. So the second

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<v Speaker 3>day was just the day party.

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<v Speaker 2>All day and I drank too much, but I made

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<v Speaker 2>sure that I you know, I was. I got my

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<v Speaker 2>rest before the drive back. So yeah, it was good.

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<v Speaker 2>I needed it.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like Vegas day parties are way better than

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<v Speaker 4>their even night parties.

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<v Speaker 2>I go to Vegas with the party.

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<v Speaker 4>I had day party than the night one. Yeah, right,

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<v Speaker 4>Like it's just more fun. You're in the water, even

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<v Speaker 4>though that water nasty, but after a few drinks you

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<v Speaker 4>don't care.

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<v Speaker 2>They're like, oh it's green, but at least I'm cool

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<v Speaker 2>down now. But I can't do the non stuff anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>Like if I do a day party, you're not making

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<v Speaker 2>the night. Now dinner right at night night, we did

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<v Speaker 2>dinner and that was it. There's definitely like a difference

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<v Speaker 2>going into the Vegas as an adult. You're like, okay, hang,

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<v Speaker 2>I you doing it. I'm here for the oysters and

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<v Speaker 2>the steak and ship and then the spot.

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<v Speaker 4>Last time I went to Vegas, I went to the spot.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, this is how people do this night.

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<v Speaker 2>A right.

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<v Speaker 4>But as far as current events go in the world, Oh,

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<v Speaker 4>Kate Spade died today, guys, that's so key. Kate's Spade

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<v Speaker 4>committed suicide in her apartment in New York City. Somehow

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<v Speaker 4>her husband was there during the during that time, her

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<v Speaker 4>maid found her in her bedroom at ten thirty am

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<v Speaker 4>and she hung herself with a scarf, and apparently there

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<v Speaker 4>was a suicide note to her daughter, and I guess

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<v Speaker 4>the police were alluding to the fact that she was

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<v Speaker 4>having marital problems.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, that was really sad, unexpected.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she's young, she's pretty young, and not to mention,

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<v Speaker 1>she's Kate's Spade.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember, like one of Kate's bade bags so bad.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was really.

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<v Speaker 4>I went to a bougie school and all the rich

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<v Speaker 4>white girls had Kate's bade bags.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, mom, I wanted Kate's spade bag. She

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<v Speaker 2>was like what who taught you that?

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<v Speaker 4>And her and to think like me at like twelve,

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<v Speaker 4>want of a Kate's sadeback. Her designs were very like mature. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>they're still rich like for like they're for like old

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<v Speaker 4>white Jewish.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're not like not my style at all, but

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<v Speaker 2>everybody else. Yeah. So that's sad though, especially for her

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<v Speaker 2>daughter is the daughter I think she's twelve. Damn, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, no, it's bad. Yeah, that's the only thing

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<v Speaker 2>I think of, Like when people like who.

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<v Speaker 1>Have kids, like I cannot really I mean obviously I

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<v Speaker 1>have no idea, but like we have kids.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, come on, get that shit together. Yeah yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know how you leave your child on this

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<v Speaker 4>earth before you have to go, right, you know. It's

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<v Speaker 4>just I mean, she has she had to be an

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<v Speaker 4>unimaginable pain. But that's just I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think. I can't understand that. I understand that's.

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<v Speaker 4>Why mental health is something that people don't want to

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<v Speaker 4>talk about because like us, we don't get it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't get it.

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<v Speaker 4>I won't ever do that there's no way I'm leaving

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<v Speaker 4>my child against my will.

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<v Speaker 5>Or what not again? Will yeah, yeah, so that will yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So that was really sad. Rest in peace Kate's bade.

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<v Speaker 1>Speaking of mental illness, Kanye's album dropped this week. He

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<v Speaker 1>had a listening party in Womi, right, he did, and

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<v Speaker 1>Erica actually has the theory on why the listening party

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<v Speaker 1>was in Womi.

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<v Speaker 2>Not only did was he recording his album there? But

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<v Speaker 2>what else?

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like that's where he goes to rehab and

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<v Speaker 4>gets like his mental health in order.

0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:20.480
<v Speaker 2>Like what else is in Wyoming? Right? Like look, okay,

0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:22.720
<v Speaker 2>I need to record in Waomi? Like why?

0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:24.960
<v Speaker 4>I mean it's beauty's don't get me wrong. It's so

0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.280
<v Speaker 4>beautiful there, and I mean that's part of it. Probably

0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:29.440
<v Speaker 4>he probably rents like the most epic house with the

0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:33.240
<v Speaker 4>most epic view of mountains and has his beats probably

0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:36.439
<v Speaker 4>like penetrate the like mountains and echoes, and ship.

0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:40.360
<v Speaker 2>Come takes some hell mushrooms and just strips out. I

0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:40.760
<v Speaker 2>don't know.

0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.280
<v Speaker 4>All I know is that everybody that was like talking

0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.960
<v Speaker 4>about how Kanye West was you know, you know, in

0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.560
<v Speaker 4>the sunken place and all this ship, they.

0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.400
<v Speaker 2>Went to the party like they I'm like, how are

0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:51.839
<v Speaker 2>you gonna talk?

0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:54.560
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:58.000
<v Speaker 4>T I he he was there, yeah, but also he

0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.679
<v Speaker 4>that was publicity too, because then I came out with

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:01.720
<v Speaker 4>the song remember.

0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:02.080
<v Speaker 2>Did you see did you hear?

0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:03.559
<v Speaker 4>The Kanye West song with him and Tia are going

0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.480
<v Speaker 4>back and forth about like, you know, white America and

0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:08.400
<v Speaker 4>black lives man, not black lives matter, but just like

0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.440
<v Speaker 4>the plight of the black man and why Kanye was

0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:12.400
<v Speaker 4>like trying to lead us to love and ti I

0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:15.640
<v Speaker 4>was like, Nigga, you crazy, h there's a song like that. Yeah,

0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 4>So that was a Poople City's son. And even Chance

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.640
<v Speaker 4>the rapper came out and was like, I can't. I don't.

0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 4>I can't really get behind this. I love you, but

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:23.920
<v Speaker 4>I can't.

0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.280
<v Speaker 2>But he but he went, you went mm oh wow,

0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.000
<v Speaker 2>yeah you go. You gotta like, I didn't get it.

0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 2>They're still friends. At the end of the day.

0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:33.360
<v Speaker 4>You can have a disagreement with someone and still support them.

0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:35.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't know. I guess it's okay.

0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:39.240
<v Speaker 2>I just I just can't with Kanye. Yeah, what do

0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.679
<v Speaker 2>you think about Kanye? I meaning, I mean, it's just

0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:46.640
<v Speaker 2>the weird artists, typical artists.

0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.120
<v Speaker 3>I know so many artists that are like a little

0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 3>white polar and like, you.

0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:51.200
<v Speaker 2>Know, all these things.

0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:56.240
<v Speaker 3>So it doesn't really surprise me, but that upset me

0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.839
<v Speaker 3>too that all these people that were making this such

0:12:58.880 --> 0:12:59.360
<v Speaker 3>a big.

0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.640
<v Speaker 2>Deal, like you know, what he said, and then they

0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:02.880
<v Speaker 2>go out there so support it.

0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:06.040
<v Speaker 4>Kanye needs a black woman in his life, clearly he hasn't.

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.480
<v Speaker 4>He just needs someone to hold him and hug him

0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:08.840
<v Speaker 4>and be.

0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:15.040
<v Speaker 2>Like, boy, chill out, chill stop talking. I just I

0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:16.640
<v Speaker 2>don't know, man, I don't know.

0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:18.679
<v Speaker 4>I just feel like all of it was done as

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.880
<v Speaker 4>a publicity's done not really for the greater good of anything,

0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:23.160
<v Speaker 4>but to benefit.

0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.320
<v Speaker 2>His personal fame and.

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:29.720
<v Speaker 4>His narcissi and his bank account, you know. And that's

0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:31.559
<v Speaker 4>what that family's all about. They don't give a fuck

0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.840
<v Speaker 4>about anything except fame and money. As long as they

0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 4>know what's up between them, they don't give a fuck

0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:38.839
<v Speaker 4>what anybody else thinks. But that's unfair because people look

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:39.360
<v Speaker 4>up to them.

0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I think like, as a black person in America, you

0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:45.959
<v Speaker 1>have to like not that you have to represent every

0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.880
<v Speaker 1>black person if you're a celebrity, but like there's like

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.040
<v Speaker 1>there's an agenda for us, like for our people. I

0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.920
<v Speaker 1>feel like there's somewhat responsibility, and like for the Kardashians,

0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:58.240
<v Speaker 1>it's easy to like maybe not acknowledge certain things, but

0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:01.559
<v Speaker 1>as like a black man who obviously is where you

0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.240
<v Speaker 1>do have some type of like some type of responsibility

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:10.280
<v Speaker 1>to like at least care enough to contribute in a

0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:11.679
<v Speaker 1>positive way, you know what I mean?

0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Like, well, he thinks he is.

0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.000
<v Speaker 4>He thinks he's contributing in a positive way. He's showing

0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.840
<v Speaker 4>us that you have to be open and love everyone

0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:20.560
<v Speaker 4>and everything.

0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:23.240
<v Speaker 2>But what I think Kanye does. I feel like he's

0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:27.680
<v Speaker 2>living his life as a white privileged man. He had

0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 2>like white privilege. It's crazy, and it's.

0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:33.400
<v Speaker 4>Because he's where he came from that and he lives

0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:37.040
<v Speaker 4>in this other world that's like outside of normal, you know.

0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.960
<v Speaker 3>So it's like, but didn't he put up post to like,

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.840
<v Speaker 3>you know, just almost being surprised that.

0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I was doing so well?

0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 3>Like can he say like, oh thank you am a

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 3>tea or just something I heard that he was just

0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 3>like so thankful that his album is actually doing good,

0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:54.920
<v Speaker 3>like meaning like he didn't expect that.

0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:58.800
<v Speaker 4>Oh shut up, everyone was going after everything you did,

0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:01.320
<v Speaker 4>you know people were going to listen, anyone.

0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.240
<v Speaker 2>Was But he made it seem like, oh my god,

0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:04.360
<v Speaker 2>I can't believe it.

0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.880
<v Speaker 4>Oh god, it's like that Beyonce video where she's gonna

0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.200
<v Speaker 4>be a video where she's crying. I mean, it's really

0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 4>a dary. She's like, She's like, it's like a YouTube video.

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.359
<v Speaker 2>She's like, I'm just so grateful.

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 4>I'll just wake up every morning, I'll look at all

0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:21.720
<v Speaker 4>the things that the Lord has given me.

0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.360
<v Speaker 2>And It's true she was having a moment. But I

0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:26.120
<v Speaker 2>couldn't help but laugh, and I'm like, people look funny

0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.600
<v Speaker 2>with you. No, it was just her voice and just

0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:30.440
<v Speaker 2>everything she was saying.

0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 4>But oh, speaking of them, did you see that Kim

0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:35.360
<v Speaker 4>went to visit Donald Trump?

0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.320
<v Speaker 2>I saw that. You're gonna see that she went to

0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:39.320
<v Speaker 2>visit him in the White House.

0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:40.840
<v Speaker 4>It was like a whole thing, like a photo op,

0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.640
<v Speaker 4>like a photo of her next the photo was fake.

0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 1>No, this is how I'm socially like, this is why

0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:52.400
<v Speaker 1>my technological advancement suck. I thought it was like a photoshop,

0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:53.520
<v Speaker 1>like fake photo.

0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:55.600
<v Speaker 2>But why what if they have to discuss.

0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:58.400
<v Speaker 1>Can you imagine a conversation between these two They're like,

0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:00.360
<v Speaker 1>it's probably that I wish I would could have been

0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.400
<v Speaker 1>a fly on the Wall to hear fucking Donald Trump

0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.320
<v Speaker 1>and Kim having a conversation.

0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.920
<v Speaker 4>Well, she went because she basically wanted to talk about

0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:12.400
<v Speaker 4>prison reform because she uh has been funding this woman.

0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:17.000
<v Speaker 4>Her name's Alice Marie Johnson. She's serving a life she's

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.360
<v Speaker 4>serving a life sentence in prison for a non violent

0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.720
<v Speaker 4>drug related offense. And it's ridiculous. It's it's totally ridiculous.

0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.760
<v Speaker 4>And Kim has been like funding her books and funding

0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:28.120
<v Speaker 4>her case, and so she went to Donald Trump to

0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 4>talk about like prison reform and how people shouldn't be

0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:35.480
<v Speaker 4>serving life sentences for drug related offenses and first time offenders.

0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:40.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, it sounds funny, you know, you was looking

0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:40.440
<v Speaker 1>at me.

0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:41.440
<v Speaker 2>Smiling so hard.

0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Look, can you imagine Kim going to have a serious

0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:50.680
<v Speaker 1>conversation about sucking like seriously, I mean the system. Can't

0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:52.040
<v Speaker 1>you imagine her delivering like.

0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:54.600
<v Speaker 2>She does a lot of public speaking, So maybe she's,

0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:59.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, she got it together. It sounds hilarious. I

0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:01.120
<v Speaker 2>wish somebody but her having any.

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.280
<v Speaker 1>Political stance in reality is just who It's a little

0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:06.800
<v Speaker 1>bit of a giggle like she hardly.

0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:09.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm not saying she's stupid, but.

0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't say, the bitch is a political genius, like

0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:13.879
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:16.240
<v Speaker 2>Basically, she was trying to get Jonald Trump to pardon her.

0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.760
<v Speaker 4>And this is I'm just reading this and says Bloomberg

0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.520
<v Speaker 4>News reports that Kardashian's plea for Johnson's part and wet

0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.000
<v Speaker 4>like a termite that eats corn instead of wood in

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:30.760
<v Speaker 4>one ear and out the other. Yeah, it's got a

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:31.480
<v Speaker 4>lot of backlash.

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:32.879
<v Speaker 2>I mean, people were clowning it.

0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:34.240
<v Speaker 4>I mean I have to say, Okay, you know what,

0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:36.280
<v Speaker 4>if you can use your platform to help someone like that,

0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:39.960
<v Speaker 4>woman will be eternally grateful for that, for that opportunity

0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 4>because she has a platform to help her.

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:42.640
<v Speaker 2>I think that's my problem.

0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 1>I think this bitch and her family have a bunch

0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:47.600
<v Speaker 1>of billions of dollars and a lot of mostly like

0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:48.960
<v Speaker 1>social pool and.

0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 2>Up until now.

0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.760
<v Speaker 1>First of all, there's a lot of people in that

0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:55.600
<v Speaker 1>situation in the prison system, like a lot of black people,

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.800
<v Speaker 1>a lot of brown people. This is just the reality

0:17:57.800 --> 0:17:59.720
<v Speaker 1>that we live in, going to yail for an extensive

0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:05.359
<v Speaker 1>amount time for like minimal proof and like little nonviolent crimes.

0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:08.320
<v Speaker 5>And bitch, if you just caught on and you're fighting,

0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.359
<v Speaker 5>I mean, like not that it's one, you know, like

0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.040
<v Speaker 5>one is better than you know, one.

0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.520
<v Speaker 2>Hundred and ninety nine is better than two hundred.

0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:17.679
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I agree, But like if you really cared genuinely

0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:20.200
<v Speaker 1>and passionately about this topic, like this is not something

0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:22.480
<v Speaker 1>that would have been new or would have been maybe

0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:24.800
<v Speaker 1>specifically for this one person, it would have been like

0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:27.080
<v Speaker 1>something you took a stand for, you know, like publicly

0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:28.320
<v Speaker 1>a lot.

0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:29.679
<v Speaker 2>And this is just kind of random.

0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:31.959
<v Speaker 1>It is kind of right when your man fucked up

0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.560
<v Speaker 1>and said some stupid shit about black people, Like.

0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 4>You think you think, oh, you think it's like a decoy,

0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:38.760
<v Speaker 4>Like yeah.

0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like, okay, well I'm going to the White House

0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:41.960
<v Speaker 1>now because I got some shit to talk about.

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.960
<v Speaker 4>Let's forget about all that other the beast right.

0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:48.520
<v Speaker 2>In twenty eighteen, I care, Oh my god. Sure.

0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:52.280
<v Speaker 4>Well. Also, I think, you know, the Kardashians just are

0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:54.800
<v Speaker 4>known to just be I feel like they they'd take

0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:58.280
<v Speaker 4>down the black man. They have taken down every black

0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:01.439
<v Speaker 4>man they do. Like they need to do a social

0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:04.480
<v Speaker 4>study on it. There needs to be a documentary how

0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:07.760
<v Speaker 4>to emasculate the black man, know, like how the Kardashians

0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:14.000
<v Speaker 4>like systematically broke down one by one like, oh, like

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:20.719
<v Speaker 4>the name was the name Omar Lamar, Lamar Lamar, Chris,

0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:25.240
<v Speaker 4>the other with what was her husband's say, Chris.

0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.159
<v Speaker 2>The only one that got away was ray J. Ray

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:32.960
<v Speaker 2>didn't countcause she wasn't famous yet. No, he's no if anything.

0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:35.960
<v Speaker 5>Like ray J got away, he was okay, he started,

0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:38.280
<v Speaker 5>he was he started the whole, the whole down.

0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.800
<v Speaker 4>Like but by the standards of how these other black

0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:45.200
<v Speaker 4>men have ended up ray J one.

0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:46.480
<v Speaker 2>What about Tristed is in his game, like his bet

0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:47.800
<v Speaker 2>ball game not so hot right now?

0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:51.000
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, but it's bound to fail. It's bound

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.760
<v Speaker 4>to fail. He's not gonna win. They're not gonna win

0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:58.480
<v Speaker 4>the playoffs just because just based off we just based.

0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:03.960
<v Speaker 2>Off the Did you guys hear about the Kanye push

0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:08.320
<v Speaker 2>A Ship, Well.

0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.080
<v Speaker 1>No, it's like a Kanye push it verse because Kanye,

0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:15.080
<v Speaker 1>I guess produced in the album the track that was

0:20:15.119 --> 0:20:15.680
<v Speaker 1>the distrack.

0:20:18.160 --> 0:20:20.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm not really much into the hip hop beef for

0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:21.480
<v Speaker 2>what side are you on?

0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:27.280
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm done Drake what what Drakes can do?

0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:30.000
<v Speaker 2>No wrong? In my eyes, I just don't really care.

0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:31.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, sometimes it's.

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.400
<v Speaker 4>Fun, like a little rap beef is cute, but I'm

0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.639
<v Speaker 4>like I listened to both of them and I was like,

0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:39.720
<v Speaker 4>all right, Drake got a baby mama, surprise, surprise.

0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:42.920
<v Speaker 2>And Push is the one that exposed it. Yeah, I

0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:45.120
<v Speaker 2>don't know her put her name out there. I thought

0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:46.879
<v Speaker 2>it was girly. I thought that was feminine. She's a

0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:51.520
<v Speaker 2>porn star. It's like gossip London or Paris. She fought

0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:56.920
<v Speaker 2>like a sneaker though. Yeah, people care about stupid shit.

0:20:58.160 --> 0:20:59.959
<v Speaker 2>Everyone thought they were gonna be Drake's first baby mom.

0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:04.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry, damn yeah, God damn it, Drake, God damn.

0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:12.800
<v Speaker 4>Anyway, anyway, we brought Anina on because we are all mamas, yes,

0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:17.840
<v Speaker 4>single moms, single moms, but Amina, like you have two

0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 4>beautiful daughters and you're out in LA.

0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:22.560
<v Speaker 2>On your own, like no family. How do you do it?

0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:23.399
<v Speaker 2>Like old family?

0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:25.240
<v Speaker 3>I always people always ask me how I do it,

0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:28.040
<v Speaker 3>and it's really no answer, like I don't, I.

0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:31.199
<v Speaker 2>Don't know you yes, exactly, When you have to you

0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:31.480
<v Speaker 2>just do.

0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:34.359
<v Speaker 3>And it's like that with most things in life, like

0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:36.080
<v Speaker 3>when you have to do something, you just do. But

0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:39.600
<v Speaker 3>it was my choice to move away because if I

0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:41.040
<v Speaker 3>would have stayed in New York, I would have had

0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:41.480
<v Speaker 3>more help.

0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:42.400
<v Speaker 2>I know that.

0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:46.120
<v Speaker 3>But I just still think it was the best decision

0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:49.240
<v Speaker 3>to go all the way to California by myself, because

0:21:49.240 --> 0:21:51.080
<v Speaker 3>for me, it was you know, it just made me.

0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:53.679
<v Speaker 3>It just healed me, and that's what I needed to

0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:56.879
<v Speaker 3>be a good mom. So yeah, it's hard and I

0:21:56.960 --> 0:21:58.160
<v Speaker 3>go crazy sometimes.

0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:01.400
<v Speaker 2>That's why I wrote a whole album about it. Talks

0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:02.040
<v Speaker 2>about your album.

0:22:02.440 --> 0:22:04.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I didn't write all the songs about my kids,

0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:08.040
<v Speaker 3>but it's just inspired by them. Like most of the songs,

0:22:08.119 --> 0:22:11.600
<v Speaker 3>the album is called Mother and the two first singles

0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:13.840
<v Speaker 3>that I put out Loved my Life was the first.

0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:17.480
<v Speaker 3>One talks just exactly about the struggles of what I

0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:19.719
<v Speaker 3>go through every day just being by myself with them

0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:23.080
<v Speaker 3>and not having you know, full time nanny or you

0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:26.560
<v Speaker 3>know help in general, no family here, so I can't

0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:27.600
<v Speaker 3>just like you know, drop off.

0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:30.359
<v Speaker 2>My daughters with my mom. Ever.

0:22:31.160 --> 0:22:33.679
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, whenever I want to do things for me,

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:35.119
<v Speaker 3>I have to like really arrange it.

0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:36.880
<v Speaker 2>It takes, you know, planning.

0:22:37.040 --> 0:22:39.919
<v Speaker 3>I have to really like schedule my time for to

0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:41.879
<v Speaker 3>be able to still do my music and stuff.

0:22:41.880 --> 0:22:47.040
<v Speaker 2>But I recorded this album entirely at home alone, by myself.

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't even go to the studio like you recorded

0:22:50.000 --> 0:22:51.240
<v Speaker 2>it like not even the engineer.

0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:54.439
<v Speaker 3>But I made sure that I have, you know, the

0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:57.480
<v Speaker 3>proper equipment and everything to make it really sound really good.

0:22:57.880 --> 0:23:00.920
<v Speaker 3>So I made sure that I invest than that, and

0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:03.760
<v Speaker 3>then I just worked whenever they would sleep, whenever I

0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:05.760
<v Speaker 3>had the energy because a lot of days I planned

0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:07.680
<v Speaker 3>to record and then I didn't get to it because

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:10.360
<v Speaker 3>I fell asleep with them, you know, things like that.

0:23:10.480 --> 0:23:14.440
<v Speaker 3>So it took me really a year to finish this album.

0:23:15.160 --> 0:23:20.400
<v Speaker 3>But I did it, and it's out. Ye yes, oh

0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:21.760
<v Speaker 3>my god, it's great.

0:23:22.119 --> 0:23:22.600
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:26.320
<v Speaker 3>It makes me feel powerful and strong and independent and

0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:27.680
<v Speaker 3>all these good things.

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:29.960
<v Speaker 2>But at the same time, like I said, I really

0:23:29.960 --> 0:23:32.439
<v Speaker 2>go through it. Some days I'm like, damn, I just

0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:34.520
<v Speaker 2>need a break. What do you like? Yeah, what do

0:23:34.560 --> 0:23:36.400
<v Speaker 2>you what is your like? What do you do when

0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:37.120
<v Speaker 2>you feel that way?

0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:38.760
<v Speaker 3>But you know, the good thing, the thing is that

0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:42.480
<v Speaker 3>I know what gives me, what fuels me. So I

0:23:42.520 --> 0:23:46.040
<v Speaker 3>make sure that I do my exercising, which is on

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:48.720
<v Speaker 3>irregular like at least every other day I work out.

0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:50.640
<v Speaker 2>I say it on the ground, I spend a lot

0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:51.360
<v Speaker 2>of money on it.

0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:53.639
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, girl, because I'm abs girl, I'll be saying on

0:23:53.640 --> 0:23:54.119
<v Speaker 4>your Instagram.

0:23:55.119 --> 0:23:57.560
<v Speaker 2>Really even not even on physical. It's more like mental

0:23:57.800 --> 0:23:58.199
<v Speaker 2>makes me.

0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:02.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it just makes me happier and just feel good

0:24:02.720 --> 0:24:05.400
<v Speaker 3>and feel energized and feel ready to like be there

0:24:05.440 --> 0:24:07.560
<v Speaker 3>for my kids and do fun stuff with them when

0:24:07.600 --> 0:24:10.920
<v Speaker 3>I work out, So I make sure I put m

0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:13.159
<v Speaker 3>time aside for that, and even if I you know,

0:24:13.200 --> 0:24:15.760
<v Speaker 3>I bring them to the Venom with me almost every

0:24:15.760 --> 0:24:16.159
<v Speaker 3>time I go.

0:24:16.640 --> 0:24:20.160
<v Speaker 2>And then I also do my workouts with them outdoors.

0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:23.280
<v Speaker 3>Like in our little yeah, hiking and we go for walks,

0:24:23.320 --> 0:24:25.400
<v Speaker 3>and when I take them to the park, I do

0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:27.959
<v Speaker 3>my sit ups there or whatever, my yoga stuff.

0:24:28.440 --> 0:24:29.920
<v Speaker 2>So I always kind of.

0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:33.080
<v Speaker 3>Some way, somehow make it happen to where I get

0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:35.639
<v Speaker 3>my you know, do my thing as well.

0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:40.160
<v Speaker 2>And then I also, you know, I need like a a.

0:24:39.680 --> 0:24:41.920
<v Speaker 3>A night, like at least one night a week where

0:24:41.960 --> 0:24:44.080
<v Speaker 3>I I go out, so I get a sitter and

0:24:44.119 --> 0:24:46.639
<v Speaker 3>I go out and whatever, if.

0:24:46.160 --> 0:24:49.280
<v Speaker 2>I just go for some wine or something, it's necessary,

0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:50.199
<v Speaker 2>like I need to do that.

0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:54.400
<v Speaker 3>So I normally say it's like some weeks it's warm

0:24:54.520 --> 0:24:57.520
<v Speaker 3>than one night, but I do need like a night

0:24:57.520 --> 0:24:59.240
<v Speaker 3>a week, whereas like you.

0:24:59.280 --> 0:25:02.600
<v Speaker 4>House to girl that you have to I think both

0:25:02.640 --> 0:25:05.160
<v Speaker 4>of those things are so important. I mean, I think

0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 4>working out I kind of relate to that. I didn't

0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:09.320
<v Speaker 4>start working out so much later until when I had

0:25:09.359 --> 0:25:10.800
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I've always worked out, but then of course

0:25:11.040 --> 0:25:13.560
<v Speaker 4>I got lazy. But then once I probably like a

0:25:13.600 --> 0:25:17.000
<v Speaker 4>year into having Iri, like I was really like still

0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:19.520
<v Speaker 4>struggling with like postpartum and just feeling really sad, and

0:25:19.560 --> 0:25:22.720
<v Speaker 4>I started working out, and slowly I started like climbing

0:25:22.760 --> 0:25:25.800
<v Speaker 4>out of that hole and it really helped, seriously, Like

0:25:26.359 --> 0:25:29.800
<v Speaker 4>it's not just it's not just for your vanity, it's

0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:32.680
<v Speaker 4>for your like your mental health for sure.

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:35.280
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm yeah. And then yeah, go in out girl,

0:25:35.720 --> 0:25:41.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah one a week. Yes, it's necessary loose and yeah, I.

0:25:41.640 --> 0:25:43.520
<v Speaker 3>Just can't do too much of it no more because

0:25:44.119 --> 0:25:45.879
<v Speaker 3>I know at seven am.

0:25:45.320 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 2>I gotta be a no matter what.

0:25:48.320 --> 0:25:50.120
<v Speaker 3>So I even when I do go, like I don't

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:54.240
<v Speaker 3>stay out all night. I'm like, do you ever think.

0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:55.679
<v Speaker 4>Like, do you ever think you'd move back to New

0:25:55.760 --> 0:25:57.800
<v Speaker 4>York or you'd move back to because you're originally from Germany.

0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:00.880
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I don't think that I'm gonna move back to Germany.

0:26:01.520 --> 0:26:05.920
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, maybe when I'm older, not like anytime soon.

0:26:06.000 --> 0:26:08.199
<v Speaker 2>I just can't imagine living there, like it's almost been

0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:11.359
<v Speaker 2>half my life now that old when you moved from Germany.

0:26:11.160 --> 0:26:15.080
<v Speaker 3>Nineteen so yeah, now it's been.

0:26:14.960 --> 0:26:17.280
<v Speaker 2>Sixteen years that have been Oh wow.

0:26:17.000 --> 0:26:20.120
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, nineteen years home growing up. I mean it's

0:26:20.119 --> 0:26:24.000
<v Speaker 3>a big part. But yeah, I don't can't imagine living there.

0:26:24.080 --> 0:26:27.080
<v Speaker 3>I would move back to New York, but not now.

0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:27.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't.

0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:30.200
<v Speaker 3>I don't have the desire to be there, even though

0:26:30.240 --> 0:26:32.680
<v Speaker 3>I love the city, always gonna love it, but I'm

0:26:32.720 --> 0:26:33.560
<v Speaker 3>happy here right now.

0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:36.560
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, and you have I mean I love I

0:26:36.640 --> 0:26:38.080
<v Speaker 4>lived in New York too, not as long as you,

0:26:38.160 --> 0:26:41.600
<v Speaker 4>but I love New York. But something about space, Yeah,

0:26:42.080 --> 0:26:44.520
<v Speaker 4>there's none of it there and you have to now

0:26:44.560 --> 0:26:45.240
<v Speaker 4>with the babies.

0:26:45.800 --> 0:26:50.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm definitely happier here for now, but I do sometimes

0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:52.399
<v Speaker 3>miss it. But I miss more than things that I

0:26:52.560 --> 0:26:55.520
<v Speaker 3>used to do as a not a mom, like being

0:26:55.640 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 3>you know without kids, right right, Yeah, it's been like

0:27:00.880 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 3>fifteen years there, so I'm like I did I did.

0:27:04.160 --> 0:27:05.920
<v Speaker 2>So much there already.

0:27:05.960 --> 0:27:06.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:14.280
<v Speaker 4>Well, how like as far as like raising them on

0:27:14.320 --> 0:27:18.520
<v Speaker 4>your own, like do when you imagine having kids? How

0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:20.440
<v Speaker 4>did you imagine having them? Like where did you grow

0:27:20.520 --> 0:27:22.160
<v Speaker 4>up with your both of your parents married?

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:23.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, no.

0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:26.719
<v Speaker 3>They my parents were never married, but we were a family,

0:27:26.760 --> 0:27:29.200
<v Speaker 3>and then they separated when it was eight, which was

0:27:29.280 --> 0:27:33.600
<v Speaker 3>it was really bad and horrible, but at the same

0:27:33.640 --> 0:27:35.680
<v Speaker 3>time and we, you know, me and my sisters, we

0:27:35.880 --> 0:27:38.919
<v Speaker 3>it was good to just see our mom's strength and

0:27:38.960 --> 0:27:40.800
<v Speaker 3>we trusted in her and we knew that we didn't

0:27:40.800 --> 0:27:43.479
<v Speaker 3>really understand at the time what was happening, but we

0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:45.720
<v Speaker 3>just knew that it's better if we just with mom.

0:27:45.800 --> 0:27:47.680
<v Speaker 3>And you know, Dad is not here for a while,

0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:49.400
<v Speaker 3>and then he was even out of our lives for

0:27:49.440 --> 0:27:52.800
<v Speaker 3>like a few years and then came back and it

0:27:53.119 --> 0:27:54.280
<v Speaker 3>you know now.

0:27:54.800 --> 0:27:56.000
<v Speaker 2>Which is great. They're friends.

0:27:56.000 --> 0:27:58.439
<v Speaker 3>They're very close and every you know, Holidays and Christmas,

0:27:58.480 --> 0:28:01.120
<v Speaker 3>we all together as a family. Even they never got

0:28:01.160 --> 0:28:04.560
<v Speaker 3>back together, but everyone gets along now and like it

0:28:04.840 --> 0:28:09.720
<v Speaker 3>just I mean, for me, I didn't imagine being.

0:28:09.480 --> 0:28:12.440
<v Speaker 2>By myself a two girls. Did you imagine how to kids?

0:28:12.480 --> 0:28:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Did you always want? Yeah? I always want to kids.

0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:16.119
<v Speaker 2>And it's crazy because I always wanted two girls.

0:28:16.119 --> 0:28:20.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh. I always used to like sometimes jokingly lie the

0:28:20.040 --> 0:28:22.479
<v Speaker 3>guys like that I met, like, oh I have two

0:28:22.560 --> 0:28:26.880
<v Speaker 3>daughters and just to see their reaction.

0:28:27.359 --> 0:28:30.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and now I actually did. It's just crazy. And

0:28:30.840 --> 0:28:31.320
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:28:31.760 --> 0:28:33.960
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, I didn't imagine being by myself. I don't

0:28:34.119 --> 0:28:37.520
<v Speaker 3>wasn't you know ideally what I want it. But now

0:28:37.560 --> 0:28:39.760
<v Speaker 3>that it is that way, I'm making the best of it.

0:28:39.880 --> 0:28:44.400
<v Speaker 2>And how's your relationship with their dad? Good? It's better

0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:47.120
<v Speaker 2>now that we not together, and we get along better.

0:28:47.160 --> 0:28:50.760
<v Speaker 2>We barely fight ever, but we also.

0:28:50.560 --> 0:28:53.800
<v Speaker 3>Don't really talk as much, and we definitely don't talk

0:28:53.840 --> 0:28:57.560
<v Speaker 3>about like personal things, right you know what he does,

0:28:57.720 --> 0:28:59.560
<v Speaker 3>Like I don't care, and he seems to not care

0:28:59.560 --> 0:29:03.960
<v Speaker 3>anymore with me, So it's really about the kids and like,

0:29:04.160 --> 0:29:06.960
<v Speaker 3>but it's this appreciation that we have for each other,

0:29:07.080 --> 0:29:07.400
<v Speaker 3>Like he.

0:29:07.800 --> 0:29:13.680
<v Speaker 2>Like appreciate so highly of.

0:29:13.520 --> 0:29:16.920
<v Speaker 3>Me, and he still thinks, like I'm so just amazing

0:29:17.080 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 3>and too good for him and all these things.

0:29:26.480 --> 0:29:30.200
<v Speaker 2>Is very like, yeah, appreciative. Oh yeah, you're raising his

0:29:30.280 --> 0:29:30.760
<v Speaker 2>two girls.

0:29:31.080 --> 0:29:33.440
<v Speaker 3>That I'm the mom of his two daughters, and that

0:29:33.520 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing so well with them. Yeah, although I do

0:29:37.200 --> 0:29:39.520
<v Speaker 3>sometimes think he needs he should be doing more, but

0:29:41.120 --> 0:29:45.840
<v Speaker 3>it's you know, I'm I'm I'm like, I don't like

0:29:46.120 --> 0:29:50.280
<v Speaker 3>asking people for anything, but he's the dad of my kids,

0:29:50.360 --> 0:29:52.320
<v Speaker 3>so I should be able to ask him for stuff.

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:55.280
<v Speaker 3>But then I'm like always like, oh I got this, Like,

0:29:55.320 --> 0:29:58.480
<v Speaker 3>no matter what, I always like I don't want to

0:29:58.480 --> 0:29:59.440
<v Speaker 3>depend on nobody. Know.

0:29:59.640 --> 0:30:02.600
<v Speaker 2>I always been that way, So even though he is their.

0:30:02.520 --> 0:30:06.320
<v Speaker 3>Dad, I always feel that, like I don't need you

0:30:06.520 --> 0:30:07.000
<v Speaker 3>for nothing?

0:30:07.520 --> 0:30:10.520
<v Speaker 4>Is that because your mom was like that?

0:30:10.880 --> 0:30:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Like being that way it just makes me feel like

0:30:13.680 --> 0:30:16.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't need nobody in my life for nothing. I

0:30:17.640 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 2>feel it. I feel like I don't know if that's

0:30:18.920 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 2>like a.

0:30:19.400 --> 0:30:23.360
<v Speaker 1>Mom's point of view, but like when you acknowledge that

0:30:23.440 --> 0:30:25.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, then you can kind of let go and release,

0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:28.040
<v Speaker 1>like because you don't want to have expect there's obviously mention,

0:30:28.200 --> 0:30:31.760
<v Speaker 1>have s, responsibilities, fathers, absolutely, but when you have expectations

0:30:32.120 --> 0:30:36.480
<v Speaker 1>and they don't aren't met, that disappointment sometimes is like

0:30:37.640 --> 0:30:41.440
<v Speaker 1>it's so disappointing that it makes you release all of that,

0:30:41.480 --> 0:30:43.719
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm not asking you for shit, even because these

0:30:43.720 --> 0:30:45.520
<v Speaker 1>are things that you should be doing automatically, and if

0:30:45.560 --> 0:30:49.880
<v Speaker 1>you don't giving up that ass because it's common sense, well,

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:51.600
<v Speaker 1>I always need to be on your levels, guys.

0:30:52.720 --> 0:30:55.760
<v Speaker 2>I begin at the point like what the fuck are

0:30:55.760 --> 0:30:56.360
<v Speaker 2>you serious?

0:30:56.800 --> 0:30:57.080
<v Speaker 4>Are you?

0:30:57.520 --> 0:31:00.400
<v Speaker 1>There's never a time when you're not disappointed when someone

0:31:00.440 --> 0:31:04.680
<v Speaker 1>does something that's not expected or dead ass wrong, especially

0:31:04.680 --> 0:31:08.080
<v Speaker 1>for the mom, because we do fucking everything, every fucking

0:31:08.120 --> 0:31:12.800
<v Speaker 1>thing that's be clear. And it's like the fact that

0:31:12.880 --> 0:31:15.320
<v Speaker 1>even like at least he knows, like you're doing everything,

0:31:15.360 --> 0:31:16.880
<v Speaker 1>and I'm gonna give you all the praise, like at

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:18.880
<v Speaker 1>least that's enough, Like all right, at least you know,

0:31:19.080 --> 0:31:21.960
<v Speaker 1>but like you know, like there's people who don't do

0:31:21.960 --> 0:31:22.880
<v Speaker 1>it and still talk shit.

0:31:22.960 --> 0:31:26.520
<v Speaker 3>I just know that he's somebody he like when I

0:31:26.560 --> 0:31:29.280
<v Speaker 3>need something, it's like almost he never comes used to

0:31:29.440 --> 0:31:30.800
<v Speaker 3>come through, and it's still that way.

0:31:31.000 --> 0:31:33.200
<v Speaker 2>So I don't want to get disappointed anymore, so I

0:31:33.200 --> 0:31:35.680
<v Speaker 2>don't ask. It depends. I don't you know, even do that.

0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:37.880
<v Speaker 3>I just ask him because I got to go to

0:31:38.000 --> 0:31:39.760
<v Speaker 3>Dallas in like two weeks for like three days, and

0:31:39.760 --> 0:31:42.400
<v Speaker 3>I ask him, can you come just because I don't

0:31:42.440 --> 0:31:46.320
<v Speaker 3>have anyone for three days for the kids, and he

0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:48.160
<v Speaker 3>he can't give me an answer. So I'm already in

0:31:48.200 --> 0:31:49.280
<v Speaker 3>my mind's.

0:31:48.880 --> 0:31:50.600
<v Speaker 2>Preparent right, let me figure it out.

0:31:50.640 --> 0:31:53.760
<v Speaker 3>So I got to figure it out by myself and whatever.

0:31:53.840 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 3>I can't get mad because it's just gonna affect me

0:31:56.200 --> 0:31:58.720
<v Speaker 3>and my mood.

0:31:57.520 --> 0:32:01.680
<v Speaker 5>And then right your whole because you ask someone that

0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:03.320
<v Speaker 5>you know that she'd be able to say yes, but

0:32:03.360 --> 0:32:03.880
<v Speaker 5>they can't.

0:32:03.880 --> 0:32:05.520
<v Speaker 2>But it's like, why am I even involving myself and

0:32:05.640 --> 0:32:09.520
<v Speaker 2>your bs because I know you? But I know you, Yeah,

0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:10.040
<v Speaker 2>I do.

0:32:10.200 --> 0:32:12.720
<v Speaker 1>I have that today, Like I think I don't know

0:32:12.760 --> 0:32:15.560
<v Speaker 1>if it's like a black woman thing like because we're independent,

0:32:15.680 --> 0:32:19.000
<v Speaker 1>but like I was reading some text messages my baby

0:32:19.040 --> 0:32:21.120
<v Speaker 1>daddy sent me and Eric andos, like this is a regular,

0:32:21.320 --> 0:32:24.480
<v Speaker 1>like disrespectful thirty five text message every weekend type of thing,

0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:26.760
<v Speaker 1>like you're a bad mom, you're this, You're oh, you're

0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:29.040
<v Speaker 1>a slack yeah, Like it's just like you need to

0:32:29.040 --> 0:32:31.400
<v Speaker 1>grow up. But I'm like, oh my god, Like I

0:32:31.440 --> 0:32:33.240
<v Speaker 1>want sometimes I want to like talk to my friends

0:32:33.240 --> 0:32:34.600
<v Speaker 1>about it. I'm like, I know they're probably stick of

0:32:34.600 --> 0:32:37.440
<v Speaker 1>hearing this shit because this is literally my life every weekend,

0:32:37.520 --> 0:32:39.440
<v Speaker 1>every week, once a week and once a month. But

0:32:39.480 --> 0:32:42.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god, like I made this decision,

0:32:42.640 --> 0:32:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I made my bed and now I have to lay

0:32:45.160 --> 0:32:49.480
<v Speaker 1>in it forever. And I'm like, you know, I take

0:32:49.560 --> 0:32:52.600
<v Speaker 1>responsibility for it, you know. But then I'm like, damn,

0:32:52.640 --> 0:32:54.760
<v Speaker 1>Like it still sucks. That's I'm still hurt. Like I'm

0:32:54.760 --> 0:32:56.880
<v Speaker 1>still hurting. I'm still tense, as fuck. I could feel

0:32:56.920 --> 0:33:01.080
<v Speaker 1>my body because I'm not like releasing shit. But you

0:33:01.120 --> 0:33:02.880
<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying, like the struggle is real.

0:33:03.280 --> 0:33:04.960
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I think, I mean, I think I've told

0:33:05.000 --> 0:33:06.800
<v Speaker 4>you this in the past. Is like all you can

0:33:06.840 --> 0:33:09.800
<v Speaker 4>do is change your reaction to what he says, because

0:33:09.800 --> 0:33:10.160
<v Speaker 4>he's not.

0:33:10.120 --> 0:33:13.160
<v Speaker 2>Going to change, and all you can do is change your.

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:15.120
<v Speaker 5>Reaction to how to whatever he That goes back to

0:33:15.160 --> 0:33:17.520
<v Speaker 5>what Amina said, like not being disappointed, not being mad.

0:33:18.240 --> 0:33:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I guess I need to take my own fucking advice, which.

0:33:20.520 --> 0:33:23.160
<v Speaker 1>Is usually how it goes, which brings us to our

0:33:23.240 --> 0:33:27.320
<v Speaker 1>next question or for you a mina, because I have

0:33:27.520 --> 0:33:30.280
<v Speaker 1>as single moms, we all can relate to this because

0:33:30.320 --> 0:33:32.760
<v Speaker 1>I know this is a big thing for me. When

0:33:32.920 --> 0:33:36.280
<v Speaker 1>is the right time to know like, Okay, I've tried

0:33:36.320 --> 0:33:39.480
<v Speaker 1>all I can try, and I'm walking away and actually

0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:41.800
<v Speaker 1>walking away and actually being like, oh my god, this

0:33:41.880 --> 0:33:45.000
<v Speaker 1>is not healthy for me because obviously, as women were

0:33:45.120 --> 0:33:46.640
<v Speaker 1>so brainwashed to be like.

0:33:46.560 --> 0:33:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh, you're gonna have a husband, you're gonna have kids.

0:33:48.240 --> 0:33:49.840
<v Speaker 2>You don't have a big bucket fence and have a

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:50.720
<v Speaker 2>marriage and.

0:33:50.680 --> 0:33:53.480
<v Speaker 1>Be perfect, and anything that doesn't resemble that, you're like,

0:33:53.480 --> 0:33:55.360
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I'm disappointed.

0:33:55.120 --> 0:33:57.240
<v Speaker 4>Or this time it'll be different. This time is I

0:33:57.280 --> 0:34:00.520
<v Speaker 4>mean the story of my relationships. Time is different. He

0:34:00.600 --> 0:34:04.480
<v Speaker 4>learned his lesson, He told me, he promised me, He cried,

0:34:04.720 --> 0:34:06.880
<v Speaker 4>he egged, like you know what I mean.

0:34:06.920 --> 0:34:10.320
<v Speaker 2>I gaveed him out. He learned, you know, like I

0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:13.080
<v Speaker 2>went and cheated. He knows, you know, like you think

0:34:13.160 --> 0:34:14.480
<v Speaker 2>all these things right.

0:34:14.560 --> 0:34:17.800
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I think for everyone is different because everyone

0:34:18.719 --> 0:34:21.200
<v Speaker 3>has the point and and when that point comes, you.

0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:24.239
<v Speaker 2>Just know, like you just know. And for me, it

0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:28.520
<v Speaker 2>was when I think like it, because I had many

0:34:28.520 --> 0:34:30.239
<v Speaker 2>times where I'm like, Okay, this is enough. Now I'm

0:34:30.280 --> 0:34:31.719
<v Speaker 2>not going to do this no more, you know, and

0:34:31.719 --> 0:34:33.360
<v Speaker 2>then I ended up sing.

0:34:33.880 --> 0:34:37.280
<v Speaker 3>But the one moment that stood out was when I

0:34:37.320 --> 0:34:39.440
<v Speaker 3>had one of my breakdowns where I was crying like

0:34:39.480 --> 0:34:41.520
<v Speaker 3>on the floor and I had my youngest she was

0:34:41.520 --> 0:34:42.080
<v Speaker 3>born already.

0:34:42.080 --> 0:34:43.880
<v Speaker 2>I was I think I was pregnant.

0:34:43.480 --> 0:34:47.600
<v Speaker 3>With wrong and I just like looked up and then

0:34:47.719 --> 0:34:49.440
<v Speaker 3>Corey and my daughter was like right in front of

0:34:49.480 --> 0:34:52.600
<v Speaker 3>me with his face like because I was crying so hard,

0:34:53.200 --> 0:34:56.080
<v Speaker 3>and she was just looking at me with this just

0:34:56.120 --> 0:34:57.200
<v Speaker 3>like she didn't understand.

0:34:57.400 --> 0:34:59.400
<v Speaker 2>And that was like when I looked at her and

0:34:59.440 --> 0:35:02.359
<v Speaker 2>saw that. Hmm, I was like, she can't. I can't.

0:35:02.400 --> 0:35:06.320
<v Speaker 3>However, I have her experience and we need this way again.

0:35:06.760 --> 0:35:09.440
<v Speaker 3>And that's when I made the final decision to like

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:10.960
<v Speaker 3>move out. That night, I told.

0:35:10.719 --> 0:35:16.279
<v Speaker 2>Peter, oh, I'm moving out, and I was actually serious

0:35:16.040 --> 0:35:18.319
<v Speaker 2>this time. That was the and he of course did

0:35:18.400 --> 0:35:20.000
<v Speaker 2>not take me serious because I had said it before.

0:35:20.080 --> 0:35:22.040
<v Speaker 2>By this time, this was the day I was serious.

0:35:22.040 --> 0:35:25.000
<v Speaker 3>And then I started looking for apartments and that was

0:35:25.040 --> 0:35:27.680
<v Speaker 3>it pretty much. And I'm the one like because they

0:35:27.680 --> 0:35:31.880
<v Speaker 3>say sometimes like the emotional connection and physical connections are

0:35:31.880 --> 0:35:34.640
<v Speaker 3>two different things. For me, definitely they were because I

0:35:34.719 --> 0:35:39.359
<v Speaker 3>was emotionally detaching the way before the physical For.

0:35:39.320 --> 0:35:41.120
<v Speaker 1>Women, I think we can we detached me, totached me,

0:35:41.160 --> 0:35:43.240
<v Speaker 1>totached me to toach you detachment, we're still like hopeful.

0:35:43.800 --> 0:35:46.320
<v Speaker 2>And then there's that one after.

0:35:46.120 --> 0:35:49.040
<v Speaker 3>I had moved to Cali. Like emotionally I was like

0:35:49.160 --> 0:35:50.960
<v Speaker 3>even though I was in pain, but I was like

0:35:51.840 --> 0:35:55.240
<v Speaker 3>detached but physically still, you know, whenever I would.

0:35:55.000 --> 0:35:58.400
<v Speaker 1>See him, You're right, It's so funny because it's like

0:35:58.400 --> 0:36:01.799
<v Speaker 1>the opposite for me, I detach physically first.

0:36:01.920 --> 0:36:05.160
<v Speaker 4>First, I like my because it's almost like subconscious, my

0:36:05.200 --> 0:36:10.560
<v Speaker 4>subconscious literally won't let me want like physically, I literally

0:36:10.560 --> 0:36:17.319
<v Speaker 4>am like the desert down then, and I'm Sometimes I'd

0:36:17.360 --> 0:36:18.959
<v Speaker 4>be like, no, I'm good.

0:36:19.000 --> 0:36:21.760
<v Speaker 2>We love each other. No, I swear I'm happy.

0:36:22.160 --> 0:36:24.600
<v Speaker 4>I swear like we had a great day to day.

0:36:24.640 --> 0:36:26.120
<v Speaker 4>Why don't I want to fuck you?

0:36:26.239 --> 0:36:28.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's what don't want to say, because I'm detached.

0:36:28.520 --> 0:36:30.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm not happy, you know. And if you ask my

0:36:30.120 --> 0:36:30.919
<v Speaker 2>baby daddy, he would.

0:36:31.040 --> 0:36:33.480
<v Speaker 4>I mean, his biggest complaint our relationship was our sex life,

0:36:33.560 --> 0:36:34.799
<v Speaker 4>because we didn't I didn't want to have.

0:36:34.800 --> 0:36:36.799
<v Speaker 2>It, and for the longest time I didn't know.

0:36:37.320 --> 0:36:41.880
<v Speaker 4>Well, I knew there were certain things, reasons why, but

0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:44.879
<v Speaker 4>the main thing that I wasn't acknowledging was that I, like,

0:36:45.280 --> 0:36:48.440
<v Speaker 4>I just I was already stepping away and mentally but

0:36:48.480 --> 0:36:50.719
<v Speaker 4>I didn't really realize it, and my body was trying.

0:36:50.480 --> 0:36:50.960
<v Speaker 2>To tell me.

0:36:52.080 --> 0:36:56.160
<v Speaker 4>Whereas some people like they're mentally detaching on you and

0:36:56.200 --> 0:36:58.120
<v Speaker 4>then physically you see them and you still want them.

0:36:58.120 --> 0:37:01.239
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, definitely for a while. It took like on

0:37:01.520 --> 0:37:02.560
<v Speaker 4>like more than a year.

0:37:03.320 --> 0:37:05.400
<v Speaker 2>Really, yeah. I think that's the number one thing for

0:37:05.480 --> 0:37:06.880
<v Speaker 2>women too, like the biggest advice.

0:37:06.920 --> 0:37:10.319
<v Speaker 1>I mean, obviously everybody has their own time frame that

0:37:10.400 --> 0:37:14.000
<v Speaker 1>like I knew a long time ago, like I knew,

0:37:14.160 --> 0:37:16.040
<v Speaker 1>I knew when shit was over, you know, I mean,

0:37:16.280 --> 0:37:18.120
<v Speaker 1>and it's like you keep you keep going to the motion,

0:37:18.200 --> 0:37:19.600
<v Speaker 1>to keep going to the motion, to keep going to

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:20.319
<v Speaker 1>the motions, and it's like.

0:37:20.320 --> 0:37:22.880
<v Speaker 2>Bitch, you just worted five more years going to the oceans.

0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:26.080
<v Speaker 1>And it's like you knew, and that this exact things

0:37:26.120 --> 0:37:29.680
<v Speaker 1>I deal with, like the disrespect and the psychotists, like

0:37:29.680 --> 0:37:32.600
<v Speaker 1>like text messages forty five text messages and five minutes

0:37:32.640 --> 0:37:33.719
<v Speaker 1>and shit like these are.

0:37:33.640 --> 0:37:34.719
<v Speaker 2>Things that pre existed.

0:37:35.000 --> 0:37:37.960
<v Speaker 1>So it's like everything, like if I'm completely honest with myself,

0:37:37.960 --> 0:37:40.320
<v Speaker 1>because I like to be like take responsibility for self

0:37:40.360 --> 0:37:42.400
<v Speaker 1>and my own predicaments, Like I knew.

0:37:42.239 --> 0:37:44.400
<v Speaker 2>I knew it was. I knew, You're not.

0:37:44.440 --> 0:37:46.880
<v Speaker 1>Like I can't see myself being with someone who treats

0:37:46.920 --> 0:37:47.319
<v Speaker 1>me like this.

0:37:47.480 --> 0:37:48.440
<v Speaker 2>I was just like in this.

0:37:48.520 --> 0:37:51.280
<v Speaker 1>Like battered woman place where like I thought, like Jesus,

0:37:51.320 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 1>when I was gonna come down and like annoy him,

0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:55.160
<v Speaker 1>he was gonna be a man suddenly, you know, and

0:37:55.200 --> 0:37:57.719
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna have this happy family and that doesn't happen, right,

0:37:58.239 --> 0:37:59.799
<v Speaker 1>I know that's the same with me.

0:38:00.400 --> 0:38:01.120
<v Speaker 2>I think for me.

0:38:03.760 --> 0:38:06.719
<v Speaker 4>Obviously, like my defining moment was you know, I mean,

0:38:06.760 --> 0:38:08.120
<v Speaker 4>he he had cheated on.

0:38:08.080 --> 0:38:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Me multiple times, but I think.

0:38:13.360 --> 0:38:18.839
<v Speaker 4>The last time was pretty tragic, you know. I felt

0:38:18.840 --> 0:38:20.799
<v Speaker 4>like so I felt like the last time was like

0:38:21.120 --> 0:38:24.799
<v Speaker 4>not only had I supported him through so many like

0:38:24.960 --> 0:38:30.160
<v Speaker 4>life altering situations like almost going to jail for so long,

0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:32.160
<v Speaker 4>like almost go about to go to jail for a

0:38:32.200 --> 0:38:35.080
<v Speaker 4>crime you didn't commit, and you about to be locked

0:38:35.080 --> 0:38:37.600
<v Speaker 4>away for like ten years in a foreign country. And

0:38:37.760 --> 0:38:40.360
<v Speaker 4>before that, like you almost got shot at and killed

0:38:40.360 --> 0:38:43.960
<v Speaker 4>in New York at a show, and then like before that,

0:38:44.080 --> 0:38:46.640
<v Speaker 4>like you were another fucked up situation that should have

0:38:46.680 --> 0:38:48.320
<v Speaker 4>been like a wake up call for you, you know what

0:38:48.360 --> 0:38:49.880
<v Speaker 4>I mean. And I was trying to show him that

0:38:49.880 --> 0:38:52.239
<v Speaker 4>I was like this ride or die, you know, even

0:38:52.480 --> 0:38:54.960
<v Speaker 4>through the cheating and all of that, and you know,

0:38:55.000 --> 0:38:57.680
<v Speaker 4>he was always so apologetic, and you know, he's a

0:38:57.719 --> 0:39:01.000
<v Speaker 4>really great apologizer. He's that is not something he's bad at.

0:39:01.200 --> 0:39:03.480
<v Speaker 4>You know, some men don't even like don't apologize.

0:39:03.880 --> 0:39:07.319
<v Speaker 3>Would it look like I'm curious because doesn't apologize wasn't

0:39:07.520 --> 0:39:10.759
<v Speaker 3>a good one. His apology would be like just like

0:39:11.840 --> 0:39:15.280
<v Speaker 3>some like reaction. Just he would never say.

0:39:14.960 --> 0:39:19.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, I'm wrong. Oh no, oh no, my my, my,

0:39:19.239 --> 0:39:22.200
<v Speaker 2>my might be da he is the king of apologies.

0:39:22.320 --> 0:39:25.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, Like, I'm so sorry. So I don't know

0:39:25.160 --> 0:39:28.759
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm Sexcity's like,

0:39:29.040 --> 0:39:32.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know what's happy.

0:39:32.840 --> 0:39:34.520
<v Speaker 4>I just woke up and my dick was in her

0:39:35.040 --> 0:39:40.200
<v Speaker 4>Like not like that exactly those words, but essentially that's

0:39:40.200 --> 0:39:44.759
<v Speaker 4>what I heard. I just I felt like, Wow, I've

0:39:44.800 --> 0:39:48.320
<v Speaker 4>done everything that I can possibly do in this situation.

0:39:48.600 --> 0:39:49.279
<v Speaker 2>It is not me.

0:39:49.440 --> 0:39:51.160
<v Speaker 4>Because for a while I was like, well, maybe I'm

0:39:51.200 --> 0:39:55.480
<v Speaker 4>just letting myself. I've let myself go with pregnancy, Like

0:39:55.520 --> 0:39:57.959
<v Speaker 4>I I've gained this weight. I haven't really been trying

0:39:57.960 --> 0:40:00.279
<v Speaker 4>to like work out and get it off. I don't

0:40:00.320 --> 0:40:02.680
<v Speaker 4>look like myself. I'm not fun anymore. I don't I

0:40:02.680 --> 0:40:04.040
<v Speaker 4>don't want to go out. I just want to chill

0:40:04.040 --> 0:40:06.120
<v Speaker 4>at home with my baby because I'm tired. Like there's

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:08.319
<v Speaker 4>all these other hot bitches on Instagram he's looking at

0:40:08.360 --> 0:40:11.360
<v Speaker 4>and tworking videos he's liking, and I just kept comparing

0:40:11.400 --> 0:40:13.040
<v Speaker 4>myself and being like, damn, I'm not fun.

0:40:13.080 --> 0:40:14.279
<v Speaker 2>I get it. I get why.

0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:16.080
<v Speaker 4>Maybe I need I need to work on this so

0:40:16.120 --> 0:40:18.720
<v Speaker 4>that I'm a better partner for him.

0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:19.520
<v Speaker 2>But then even.

0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:21.120
<v Speaker 4>After I did all those things, and I like, because

0:40:21.120 --> 0:40:22.520
<v Speaker 4>you're not fun because you're not happy.

0:40:22.760 --> 0:40:24.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because that's what it is, like, Oh, you're a

0:40:24.480 --> 0:40:26.319
<v Speaker 1>bitch all the time because you're unhappy and you're living

0:40:26.320 --> 0:40:27.840
<v Speaker 1>with someone that doesn't make you happy.

0:40:27.640 --> 0:40:28.520
<v Speaker 2>And it doesn't feed your soul.

0:40:28.560 --> 0:40:31.360
<v Speaker 4>And he wasn't feeding me, and I wasn't learning anything anymore,

0:40:31.520 --> 0:40:33.640
<v Speaker 4>and it just we weren't teaching each other anymore.

0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:36.080
<v Speaker 2>It's it doesn't all go one way.

0:40:36.239 --> 0:40:38.640
<v Speaker 4>I take responsibility for the things that I did too,

0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:42.799
<v Speaker 4>but essentially we like, like we had our episode about

0:40:42.840 --> 0:40:45.120
<v Speaker 4>monogamy and if it's natural or not, we agree to

0:40:45.120 --> 0:40:49.760
<v Speaker 4>be in a monogamous relationship, and he wasn't following the deal,

0:40:50.520 --> 0:40:50.839
<v Speaker 4>you know.

0:40:51.239 --> 0:40:52.640
<v Speaker 2>Like this is not what we agree to.

0:40:52.840 --> 0:40:55.479
<v Speaker 4>And then the disrespect of like the girls coming out,

0:40:55.680 --> 0:40:58.600
<v Speaker 4>and then just like yeah, then the text messages that

0:40:58.640 --> 0:41:00.520
<v Speaker 4>she that he was sending her and she was sending

0:41:00.560 --> 0:41:02.319
<v Speaker 4>them to me and me saying the things that he

0:41:02.440 --> 0:41:04.279
<v Speaker 4>was saying to her to get the pussy. I was

0:41:04.320 --> 0:41:07.920
<v Speaker 4>just like wow, Wow, Like you have no respect for me.

0:41:08.600 --> 0:41:11.040
<v Speaker 4>I always thought like okay, even though he cheated on me,

0:41:11.120 --> 0:41:14.000
<v Speaker 4>I know there's some sort of respect there, and then

0:41:14.040 --> 0:41:16.040
<v Speaker 4>I was like, there is no respect. There's literally no

0:41:16.080 --> 0:41:18.440
<v Speaker 4>respect if you can tell this girl this and that

0:41:18.520 --> 0:41:18.799
<v Speaker 4>and this.

0:41:18.960 --> 0:41:22.200
<v Speaker 2>And I get that, I get that some I know that.

0:41:22.480 --> 0:41:24.680
<v Speaker 4>I know that men say things to get what they

0:41:24.719 --> 0:41:25.799
<v Speaker 4>want sexually, and I.

0:41:25.800 --> 0:41:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Know that's probably what that was.

0:41:27.760 --> 0:41:29.680
<v Speaker 4>But just the fact that you could lie on me,

0:41:30.520 --> 0:41:34.359
<v Speaker 4>on our family like I couldn't, it was it drew

0:41:34.400 --> 0:41:35.880
<v Speaker 4>the line for me. I was like, I can't do

0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:38.520
<v Speaker 4>this anymore. And I was about to marry. I was

0:41:38.560 --> 0:41:41.799
<v Speaker 4>planning my wedding, you know, so I have it was

0:41:41.840 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 4>like too much on this. My family was about to

0:41:44.080 --> 0:41:46.919
<v Speaker 4>pay for this expensive ass wedding, Like you're literally gonna

0:41:46.960 --> 0:41:49.440
<v Speaker 4>let my family pay for this wedding and you're doing this,

0:41:51.440 --> 0:41:55.040
<v Speaker 4>and just it was just so much. But I knew

0:41:55.040 --> 0:41:57.400
<v Speaker 4>that that was that defining moment because even since that moment,

0:41:57.440 --> 0:41:59.920
<v Speaker 4>I have never went back. Like, you know, we work

0:42:00.000 --> 0:42:03.239
<v Speaker 4>on our relationship, we try to be cool, but sexually

0:42:03.320 --> 0:42:05.360
<v Speaker 4>definitely not and emotionally I can't.

0:42:05.440 --> 0:42:09.239
<v Speaker 2>I just can't. You're pride take my pride will allow it.

0:42:09.320 --> 0:42:11.960
<v Speaker 4>And then also now hanging out with him, he's still

0:42:12.239 --> 0:42:17.120
<v Speaker 4>he's still the same and I've progressed. I feel like

0:42:17.239 --> 0:42:20.160
<v Speaker 4>I've flipped the pages, like ten pages and he's still

0:42:20.200 --> 0:42:20.959
<v Speaker 4>on chapter one.

0:42:21.480 --> 0:42:23.200
<v Speaker 2>That's a huge lesson though, because.

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:27.919
<v Speaker 1>You you'd like to think that you're like you're staying

0:42:27.960 --> 0:42:29.480
<v Speaker 1>in your own lane, and you have to focus on

0:42:29.520 --> 0:42:32.640
<v Speaker 1>yourself because sometimes in relationships we become obsessed with other person.

0:42:32.760 --> 0:42:34.080
<v Speaker 1>They're not doing what they're supposed to do and they're

0:42:34.120 --> 0:42:36.120
<v Speaker 1>not doing that. And there were times like Jamella, focused

0:42:36.160 --> 0:42:38.560
<v Speaker 1>the fuck on yourself. But then when you realize, like

0:42:38.800 --> 0:42:41.760
<v Speaker 1>as soon as I really left my baby's daddy alone,

0:42:41.800 --> 0:42:43.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god, I'm thriving. Oh my god,

0:42:43.880 --> 0:42:46.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting blessings, Like I'm living because I'm happy and

0:42:46.280 --> 0:42:47.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm attracting good shit.

0:42:47.760 --> 0:42:50.359
<v Speaker 2>But like, you have to be able to, like to.

0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:52.920
<v Speaker 1>Break away from those toxic people in order to get

0:42:52.920 --> 0:42:54.400
<v Speaker 1>to that place, and you have to be willing to

0:42:54.400 --> 0:42:55.600
<v Speaker 1>like completely sever.

0:42:55.520 --> 0:43:00.200
<v Speaker 2>All relationship, you know, and that shit doesn't hard. It's scary.

0:43:00.480 --> 0:43:03.040
<v Speaker 2>It's so scary. You don't know the unknown. Like I

0:43:03.200 --> 0:43:04.520
<v Speaker 2>knew what my future looked like.

0:43:04.560 --> 0:43:06.600
<v Speaker 4>I was gonna be married, we were gonna have another kid,

0:43:06.880 --> 0:43:09.400
<v Speaker 4>I was gonna be you know, you know, I was gonna.

0:43:09.120 --> 0:43:11.400
<v Speaker 2>Have try to work on my career, but really I

0:43:11.440 --> 0:43:13.040
<v Speaker 2>love focusing on his own because I don't like to

0:43:13.080 --> 0:43:13.799
<v Speaker 2>deal with my own shit.

0:43:13.880 --> 0:43:16.240
<v Speaker 5>So I was gonna be like the trophy the trophy

0:43:16.280 --> 0:43:17.480
<v Speaker 5>wife and whatever.

0:43:17.760 --> 0:43:19.840
<v Speaker 1>But how do you guys think because both of you

0:43:19.920 --> 0:43:23.360
<v Speaker 1>kind of have like public situations because you know, like

0:43:23.640 --> 0:43:25.600
<v Speaker 1>me and R you did this show and I know

0:43:25.640 --> 0:43:28.719
<v Speaker 1>that probably got like so much backlash, and you do

0:43:28.840 --> 0:43:31.239
<v Speaker 1>know your baby daddy kind of like gota like you know,

0:43:31.400 --> 0:43:34.600
<v Speaker 1>a following an audience. Do you think that that, like

0:43:35.360 --> 0:43:39.160
<v Speaker 1>knowing that other people knew your situations affected your like

0:43:39.440 --> 0:43:41.040
<v Speaker 1>your ability to like go go away.

0:43:41.120 --> 0:43:46.600
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, for me, I think initially a little bit because

0:43:46.719 --> 0:43:50.040
<v Speaker 4>when me our relationship was really great for a long time.

0:43:50.080 --> 0:43:51.160
<v Speaker 2>We don't get it twisted.

0:43:51.239 --> 0:43:53.239
<v Speaker 4>We did have a genuine I still love him, We

0:43:53.280 --> 0:43:54.839
<v Speaker 4>have a genuine love for each other.

0:43:55.120 --> 0:43:57.360
<v Speaker 2>We had a very genuine relationship. People looked up to

0:43:57.400 --> 0:43:58.160
<v Speaker 2>our relationship.

0:43:58.200 --> 0:43:59.319
<v Speaker 4>People were always saying that.

0:44:00.320 --> 0:44:03.040
<v Speaker 2>You sing that song Girlron.

0:44:07.160 --> 0:44:09.880
<v Speaker 4>People looked up to our relationship, Like even my friends

0:44:09.920 --> 0:44:12.560
<v Speaker 4>would tell me, like, damn, you and Freddie like have

0:44:12.640 --> 0:44:14.680
<v Speaker 4>such a great relationship, and we really did at the time.

0:44:14.680 --> 0:44:16.200
<v Speaker 4>Even when they said it, I'd be like yeah, we do,

0:44:16.239 --> 0:44:18.800
<v Speaker 4>thank you and so. But then when it went bad

0:44:18.880 --> 0:44:21.480
<v Speaker 4>and people didn't see that side of it, I was like,

0:44:21.560 --> 0:44:23.960
<v Speaker 4>well and I was holding on to like what it

0:44:24.160 --> 0:44:25.600
<v Speaker 4>was or what people thought it was.

0:44:25.640 --> 0:44:27.640
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I felt in.

0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:31.480
<v Speaker 4>A way not like jay Z and beyond right, you

0:44:31.560 --> 0:44:33.799
<v Speaker 4>know what I mean, like not like oh shit, having

0:44:33.800 --> 0:44:35.640
<v Speaker 4>a split this empire.

0:44:36.560 --> 0:44:38.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, but I did.

0:44:38.880 --> 0:44:41.040
<v Speaker 4>I think I was holding on to like what I

0:44:41.120 --> 0:44:43.320
<v Speaker 4>like how our relationship looked to people.

0:44:43.400 --> 0:44:46.160
<v Speaker 2>And I mean even like social media, like if you

0:44:46.360 --> 0:44:48.640
<v Speaker 2>have there's like low key you started people. You feel

0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:52.080
<v Speaker 2>like people have expectations of these periods. Well almosto. People

0:44:52.080 --> 0:44:54.120
<v Speaker 2>think on social media they know you and your relationship.

0:44:54.440 --> 0:44:54.560
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:44:54.640 --> 0:44:56.760
<v Speaker 4>I'm sure you know get that more than anyone.

0:44:56.840 --> 0:44:58.719
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and I think that I I mean, I

0:44:58.760 --> 0:44:59.840
<v Speaker 2>didn't that affect me.

0:44:59.920 --> 0:45:01.800
<v Speaker 3>Is more like I'm the type of person when people

0:45:02.000 --> 0:45:03.960
<v Speaker 3>say something to me, I like, do the opposite.

0:45:04.000 --> 0:45:07.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't listen to none of that. I'm like, you

0:45:07.040 --> 0:45:08.480
<v Speaker 2>know nothing.

0:45:08.760 --> 0:45:11.359
<v Speaker 3>They can't make me do something because everyone's had been

0:45:11.360 --> 0:45:14.759
<v Speaker 3>telling me for years, right that I needed to let

0:45:14.880 --> 0:45:18.320
<v Speaker 3>go and leave, and I literally did it on my

0:45:18.400 --> 0:45:20.160
<v Speaker 3>own terms. And I think that if we wouldn't have

0:45:20.200 --> 0:45:22.720
<v Speaker 3>been on the show, it would have been the same.

0:45:23.560 --> 0:45:25.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but you know what I will say, I mean it.

0:45:28.560 --> 0:45:34.520
<v Speaker 2>Whatever we get, we're gonna take a quick break dis

0:45:34.760 --> 0:45:55.319
<v Speaker 2>one moment. Please sorry about that. We're back. I was

0:45:55.360 --> 0:45:56.400
<v Speaker 2>gonna say to mean it is.

0:45:56.440 --> 0:45:59.200
<v Speaker 1>What I will say is, despite like you having such

0:45:59.200 --> 0:46:06.080
<v Speaker 1>a public relation relationship situation, I respect that, like no

0:46:06.160 --> 0:46:09.200
<v Speaker 1>matter like what people were saying, because people are gonna

0:46:09.200 --> 0:46:12.000
<v Speaker 1>have their opinion, especially for people like on social media.

0:46:12.120 --> 0:46:13.360
<v Speaker 1>And you did what the fuck you wanted to do,

0:46:13.400 --> 0:46:15.319
<v Speaker 1>because I'm sure because I know you're getting so much

0:46:15.320 --> 0:46:17.520
<v Speaker 1>shit and people judge and don't know you and like

0:46:17.680 --> 0:46:18.879
<v Speaker 1>in things they know.

0:46:19.800 --> 0:46:21.440
<v Speaker 2>But despite all that, you're.

0:46:21.280 --> 0:46:24.080
<v Speaker 3>Like I'm wanted to buy, you know, And by being honest,

0:46:24.160 --> 0:46:26.560
<v Speaker 3>I got so much like just you know, judging and

0:46:26.640 --> 0:46:30.480
<v Speaker 3>like people just with the negative stuff you know, coming

0:46:30.520 --> 0:46:33.800
<v Speaker 3>at me, just because I was honest, for instance, about

0:46:33.800 --> 0:46:36.839
<v Speaker 3>the fact that I was still physically involved with them

0:46:36.840 --> 0:46:39.319
<v Speaker 3>after we separated. That made me just look so bad,

0:46:39.360 --> 0:46:40.040
<v Speaker 3>but I didn't care.

0:46:40.960 --> 0:46:43.680
<v Speaker 4>It was how many people that were talking about you

0:46:43.840 --> 0:46:44.960
<v Speaker 4>are doing that currently.

0:46:45.239 --> 0:46:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah I know I'm thinking in my head like you're

0:46:47.480 --> 0:46:48.080
<v Speaker 2>probably doing that.

0:46:49.520 --> 0:46:52.319
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, We're human, like, you know, sometimes we want what

0:46:52.360 --> 0:46:54.920
<v Speaker 5>we want, but I couldn't, you know, lie like so

0:46:55.040 --> 0:46:57.160
<v Speaker 5>many other women right.

0:46:57.080 --> 0:46:59.120
<v Speaker 2>And said, oh that's done. You know that's over with.

0:46:59.400 --> 0:47:01.000
<v Speaker 2>The people would have liked me more.

0:47:01.040 --> 0:47:05.799
<v Speaker 4>But but you know, here to be so and women

0:47:05.880 --> 0:47:09.320
<v Speaker 4>just always want I mean, unfortunately, women are the worst.

0:47:09.360 --> 0:47:09.919
<v Speaker 2>We are the worst.

0:47:09.920 --> 0:47:11.560
<v Speaker 4>We don't support each other. We want to tear each

0:47:11.560 --> 0:47:13.960
<v Speaker 4>other down. We want to see each other lose, and

0:47:14.000 --> 0:47:16.880
<v Speaker 4>we want to pick sides. And I'm sure in your situation,

0:47:17.600 --> 0:47:19.200
<v Speaker 4>you know they wanted to pick sides. It was either

0:47:19.280 --> 0:47:21.759
<v Speaker 4>you or the other, or his other the mother of

0:47:21.800 --> 0:47:24.600
<v Speaker 4>his child, and they wanted to like have this divide

0:47:24.640 --> 0:47:28.880
<v Speaker 4>between you two and make it a competition, or who's.

0:47:28.680 --> 0:47:31.080
<v Speaker 2>Smarter than the other one. Oh, she respects herself more

0:47:31.120 --> 0:47:32.640
<v Speaker 2>than this. Why would you do this?

0:47:32.800 --> 0:47:34.799
<v Speaker 1>To do that? It's like, I don't know, but now

0:47:34.800 --> 0:47:36.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing it.

0:47:36.520 --> 0:47:39.279
<v Speaker 2>They I don't know if she happens. This is not

0:47:39.320 --> 0:47:41.960
<v Speaker 2>how I basically wrote out the blueprint. But now it's happening,

0:47:41.960 --> 0:47:43.640
<v Speaker 2>and this is my life. Fuck you and fuck you.

0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:46.000
<v Speaker 4>It's not as simple as one, two three. Not everything

0:47:46.080 --> 0:47:48.120
<v Speaker 4>is black and white. There's a lot of gray areas,

0:47:48.200 --> 0:47:51.319
<v Speaker 4>especially when you have children, especially when you know you're

0:47:51.320 --> 0:47:54.560
<v Speaker 4>confused and you know, and people aren't being honest and

0:47:54.600 --> 0:47:57.200
<v Speaker 4>people are lying and you want to believe what they're saying,

0:47:57.320 --> 0:47:58.040
<v Speaker 4>and it's just.

0:47:58.239 --> 0:47:59.480
<v Speaker 2>It's so much, you know.

0:47:59.800 --> 0:48:03.840
<v Speaker 4>And yeah, just like Jamila said, like I can only imagine,

0:48:04.239 --> 0:48:06.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, do you just turn off your comments or did.

0:48:06.840 --> 0:48:08.759
<v Speaker 2>You just like not read them? Like how did I

0:48:08.840 --> 0:48:10.080
<v Speaker 2>do that? Looking at it?

0:48:10.160 --> 0:48:13.000
<v Speaker 3>And then I mean at the time where the comments

0:48:13.000 --> 0:48:14.520
<v Speaker 3>were really bad, I wasn't able to turn them off

0:48:14.560 --> 0:48:17.879
<v Speaker 3>because I didn't have my verification yet. But then when

0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:20.239
<v Speaker 3>I got that, sometimes I would turn it off, but

0:48:20.320 --> 0:48:22.280
<v Speaker 3>I really kind.

0:48:22.120 --> 0:48:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Of didn't even want to do that. I just stopped

0:48:24.360 --> 0:48:26.239
<v Speaker 2>looking because it doesn't matter.

0:48:26.640 --> 0:48:29.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and then but I also am a really really

0:48:29.560 --> 0:48:32.000
<v Speaker 3>great blocker, so we're whatever.

0:48:32.040 --> 0:48:34.359
<v Speaker 2>I had people just being negative, I would block them.

0:48:34.400 --> 0:48:36.840
<v Speaker 2>So I blocked probably like I don't know if that

0:48:36.880 --> 0:48:40.320
<v Speaker 2>wasn't don't you the book I do. I had a book,

0:48:40.360 --> 0:48:42.719
<v Speaker 2>and that was after I moved out here.

0:48:43.600 --> 0:48:47.560
<v Speaker 3>I wrote it was almost my therapy, literally because at

0:48:47.600 --> 0:48:49.920
<v Speaker 3>the time when I first moved to Cali, that's when

0:48:49.960 --> 0:48:52.319
<v Speaker 3>I had I had already started writing the book, but

0:48:52.400 --> 0:48:55.000
<v Speaker 3>it was not in the plans to actually make it

0:48:55.000 --> 0:48:57.720
<v Speaker 3>a book, So I was just writing like a journal style.

0:48:58.320 --> 0:49:00.680
<v Speaker 2>And then when I moved here, I started.

0:49:00.400 --> 0:49:04.520
<v Speaker 3>Seeing a therapist because of my sadness, and I felt like,

0:49:05.000 --> 0:49:06.080
<v Speaker 3>I just need to talk to somebody.

0:49:06.120 --> 0:49:07.400
<v Speaker 2>And I don't want to talk to any of my

0:49:07.440 --> 0:49:08.520
<v Speaker 2>friends because they.

0:49:08.719 --> 0:49:12.200
<v Speaker 3>Told me so many times and that they all they

0:49:12.239 --> 0:49:14.000
<v Speaker 3>do is tell me what I should do, but they're

0:49:14.000 --> 0:49:17.040
<v Speaker 3>not there to help me through it. Every day every morning,

0:49:17.360 --> 0:49:20.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm alone. So I wanted to talk to someone outside.

0:49:20.560 --> 0:49:22.719
<v Speaker 3>So I went to see a therapist for like five

0:49:22.760 --> 0:49:23.920
<v Speaker 3>months every week.

0:49:24.719 --> 0:49:25.759
<v Speaker 2>It was crazy.

0:49:25.400 --> 0:49:28.719
<v Speaker 3>Expensive, but it was it helps me, but I think

0:49:28.760 --> 0:49:30.600
<v Speaker 3>it was worth it because it helped me.

0:49:32.200 --> 0:49:33.279
<v Speaker 2>Just look at things.

0:49:33.000 --> 0:49:37.960
<v Speaker 3>Differently and just feel just feel better about where I

0:49:38.040 --> 0:49:41.279
<v Speaker 3>was at in my life. And that's also at the

0:49:41.280 --> 0:49:43.280
<v Speaker 3>same time where I wrote the book, and the therapists

0:49:43.280 --> 0:49:45.200
<v Speaker 3>actually encouraged me to, you know, keep writing.

0:49:46.200 --> 0:49:47.399
<v Speaker 2>And because I was.

0:49:47.400 --> 0:49:50.440
<v Speaker 3>Literally too depressed to write music because that's normally what

0:49:50.480 --> 0:49:53.680
<v Speaker 3>I would turn to my music and make songs, and

0:49:53.719 --> 0:49:55.839
<v Speaker 3>I was too depressed to even like when I looked

0:49:55.880 --> 0:50:00.600
<v Speaker 3>at my piano, I was like almost like sad cause

0:50:00.600 --> 0:50:03.400
<v Speaker 3>I couldn't. I f felt like nothing was coming, so

0:50:04.480 --> 0:50:07.719
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't inspired. So I still needed to write and

0:50:07.800 --> 0:50:12.319
<v Speaker 3>like let it out. So the book happened the other

0:50:12.360 --> 0:50:15.600
<v Speaker 3>Woman mm, and people thought, oh you they other woman,

0:50:15.719 --> 0:50:19.880
<v Speaker 3>Like it wasn't the title wasn't actually towards me. It

0:50:19.920 --> 0:50:24.480
<v Speaker 3>was just a general title, the other woman, because just

0:50:24.640 --> 0:50:27.360
<v Speaker 3>not even in only this relationship, but so many relations

0:50:27.360 --> 0:50:29.480
<v Speaker 3>all the all the real relationships I had, which is

0:50:29.520 --> 0:50:32.680
<v Speaker 3>like f F four in my life, I was dealing

0:50:32.680 --> 0:50:34.359
<v Speaker 3>with another woman some way.

0:50:34.840 --> 0:50:36.320
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, I didn't message up sound I mean, you

0:50:36.360 --> 0:50:38.480
<v Speaker 4>were the other right, I mean, there's another woman a right?

0:50:38.600 --> 0:50:42.560
<v Speaker 3>The other woman is always when I was with somebody,

0:50:42.600 --> 0:50:45.440
<v Speaker 3>it was always either like EGS or someone new they

0:50:45.520 --> 0:50:48.920
<v Speaker 3>cheated with, or and then at times, you know, I've

0:50:49.000 --> 0:50:51.400
<v Speaker 3>I've been the other woman too to somebody that was

0:50:51.480 --> 0:50:54.360
<v Speaker 3>in the relationship, and so it just made sense to

0:50:54.440 --> 0:50:54.920
<v Speaker 3>name it that.

0:50:55.000 --> 0:50:57.440
<v Speaker 2>But it wasn't like I was talking just about me.

0:50:58.120 --> 0:51:00.239
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, a book. I'm happy I did it. I'm

0:51:00.239 --> 0:51:01.040
<v Speaker 2>proud of it.

0:51:00.920 --> 0:51:05.000
<v Speaker 3>Because it's just really a real, you know, a real

0:51:05.120 --> 0:51:07.080
<v Speaker 3>kind of a real story of who I am, who

0:51:07.080 --> 0:51:08.719
<v Speaker 3>I really am, And I think that people that works

0:51:08.800 --> 0:51:11.239
<v Speaker 3>to show they didn't get to see that the real me.

0:51:12.719 --> 0:51:14.880
<v Speaker 2>When you read the book, you really understand.

0:51:15.239 --> 0:51:17.279
<v Speaker 3>And I had a lot of feedback where women were like,

0:51:17.320 --> 0:51:20.360
<v Speaker 3>oh no, it makes more sense and I understand you

0:51:20.440 --> 0:51:22.719
<v Speaker 3>more and that was good to hear.

0:51:23.520 --> 0:51:28.320
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I mean I feel like it.

0:51:28.440 --> 0:51:30.080
<v Speaker 4>I con mention you for doing that because some women,

0:51:30.120 --> 0:51:32.880
<v Speaker 4>I mean some celebrity women out there, they actually was.

0:51:33.000 --> 0:51:35.680
<v Speaker 4>I was just happened to be on the internet, on

0:51:35.719 --> 0:51:39.600
<v Speaker 4>the interweb on Instagram and I follow Amber Rose and

0:51:39.680 --> 0:51:42.720
<v Speaker 4>she was posting about how like the Shade Room ruins

0:51:42.840 --> 0:51:45.719
<v Speaker 4>lives and oh yeah, how you know you have to

0:51:45.719 --> 0:51:47.959
<v Speaker 4>be a really strong person in order to deal with

0:51:48.440 --> 0:51:50.480
<v Speaker 4>all the scrutiny that you get. We didn't like, she

0:51:50.520 --> 0:51:53.759
<v Speaker 4>didn't ask for this life, and you know, the Instagram

0:51:53.840 --> 0:51:57.600
<v Speaker 4>is like a place of trolling, and which in her defense,

0:51:57.640 --> 0:51:59.360
<v Speaker 4>like in her it totally is. But then sometimes I

0:51:59.360 --> 0:52:02.040
<v Speaker 4>feel like some people instigated though, whereas I don't feel

0:52:02.120 --> 0:52:04.400
<v Speaker 4>like you like you don't ever you've ever instigated. You

0:52:04.440 --> 0:52:06.440
<v Speaker 4>just were trying to live your life life.

0:52:06.560 --> 0:52:08.760
<v Speaker 2>Happened to be on a show during that period of time.

0:52:08.680 --> 0:52:11.600
<v Speaker 3>Yea, And literally before like when I decided to do

0:52:11.640 --> 0:52:13.600
<v Speaker 3>the show, I didn't. That was one thing that I

0:52:13.640 --> 0:52:16.799
<v Speaker 3>didn't really think about you did it, and not at all.

0:52:17.120 --> 0:52:19.600
<v Speaker 3>I only thought about the positive that can come from this.

0:52:20.040 --> 0:52:23.360
<v Speaker 3>I didn't think about any of the activity you were

0:52:23.840 --> 0:52:26.799
<v Speaker 3>music because I never had people being so negative and

0:52:26.880 --> 0:52:29.280
<v Speaker 3>not like me in my life before I was on TV.

0:52:29.920 --> 0:52:32.520
<v Speaker 3>So then when it happened, it was really hard. At

0:52:32.640 --> 0:52:36.480
<v Speaker 3>first it was overwhelming, but you know now I'm actually

0:52:36.480 --> 0:52:38.879
<v Speaker 3>glad for the experience because it just made me.

0:52:38.840 --> 0:52:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Stronger, stronger. Have you ever had people like, of course

0:52:42.520 --> 0:52:43.600
<v Speaker 2>people get crazy.

0:52:43.400 --> 0:52:44.839
<v Speaker 4>In your comments, but have you ever had someone in

0:52:44.880 --> 0:52:47.279
<v Speaker 4>real life come like come at you, or like say

0:52:47.280 --> 0:52:49.319
<v Speaker 4>something to you in the streets, or like been like.

0:52:49.440 --> 0:52:53.680
<v Speaker 3>Just no, it's crazy because there was so much hate online.

0:52:53.680 --> 0:52:55.160
<v Speaker 2>That's not crazy.

0:52:55.480 --> 0:52:58.000
<v Speaker 3>Every time when people run into me that know me,

0:52:58.040 --> 0:53:00.360
<v Speaker 3>it's always been love. Like there was maybe one or

0:53:00.360 --> 0:53:02.600
<v Speaker 3>two times when I was with Peter, like at the

0:53:02.680 --> 0:53:05.719
<v Speaker 3>mall or something, and then the girl would be disappointed

0:53:05.719 --> 0:53:09.759
<v Speaker 3>that it was me in that tower. I don't want

0:53:09.760 --> 0:53:16.600
<v Speaker 3>to pat you with her, I would yeah, how about

0:53:16.640 --> 0:53:18.440
<v Speaker 3>no that happened.

0:53:18.440 --> 0:53:21.279
<v Speaker 4>But other than that, no, no real hate, And that

0:53:21.360 --> 0:53:25.640
<v Speaker 4>just shows you like you can't, you really cannot. I mean,

0:53:25.680 --> 0:53:27.719
<v Speaker 4>it's hard not to take everything personally, but you are

0:53:27.760 --> 0:53:28.440
<v Speaker 4>going to take personally.

0:53:28.440 --> 0:53:33.240
<v Speaker 2>But these people are just we bore gangsters literally bored

0:53:33.280 --> 0:53:33.799
<v Speaker 2>with their lives.

0:53:34.200 --> 0:53:37.960
<v Speaker 4>They're never going to say anything to you in the streets, right,

0:53:38.640 --> 0:53:45.759
<v Speaker 4>That's not It's just crazy the world we live in

0:53:45.840 --> 0:53:48.640
<v Speaker 4>where it's just people just are so quick to judge

0:53:48.640 --> 0:53:51.640
<v Speaker 4>you based on a relationship they think they know you.

0:53:51.719 --> 0:53:54.600
<v Speaker 4>But I mean, I I am so like, don't have

0:53:54.800 --> 0:53:56.560
<v Speaker 4>anywhere near the amount of like.

0:53:56.560 --> 0:53:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Scrutiny that you've had, but I've had people. I just

0:53:58.560 --> 0:54:00.759
<v Speaker 2>get annoyed when people just are in my dms like.

0:54:01.040 --> 0:54:04.840
<v Speaker 4>Hey, it's none of my business, but you know, just

0:54:04.880 --> 0:54:05.400
<v Speaker 4>wondering what.

0:54:05.520 --> 0:54:06.960
<v Speaker 2>Happened with you And.

0:54:08.280 --> 0:54:11.359
<v Speaker 4>If you preface a conversation with it's none of your

0:54:11.800 --> 0:54:14.600
<v Speaker 4>goddamn business, right, did they just get so invested in

0:54:14.600 --> 0:54:15.400
<v Speaker 4>your relationship?

0:54:15.440 --> 0:54:17.600
<v Speaker 2>And it's crazy even with like.

0:54:17.520 --> 0:54:19.760
<v Speaker 1>What you said about like not discussing ship with your friends,

0:54:19.960 --> 0:54:22.080
<v Speaker 1>Like first of all, it's what First of all, I'll say,

0:54:22.120 --> 0:54:24.719
<v Speaker 1>it's I don't want like it's one thing to talk

0:54:24.719 --> 0:54:28.040
<v Speaker 1>about front like with my friends who have kids who

0:54:28.120 --> 0:54:31.799
<v Speaker 1>actually parents ach because it's like you'll never understand how

0:54:32.360 --> 0:54:37.000
<v Speaker 1>my baby's daddy he's dumb. I know, he's a dickhead,

0:54:37.160 --> 0:54:40.319
<v Speaker 1>I know, but he's my baby's daddy. So it's like

0:54:41.239 --> 0:54:43.120
<v Speaker 1>I can't. I want to scratch him off and like

0:54:43.200 --> 0:54:45.200
<v Speaker 1>throw him out the back window and keep going.

0:54:45.280 --> 0:54:46.359
<v Speaker 2>But like I'm gonna have to.

0:54:46.320 --> 0:54:48.640
<v Speaker 1>Keep going back to Starckle pick his ass up because

0:54:48.640 --> 0:54:49.839
<v Speaker 1>he's always going to be there.

0:54:49.960 --> 0:54:52.160
<v Speaker 2>So like to talk to someone that's non biased.

0:54:53.640 --> 0:54:55.680
<v Speaker 1>I think that's like that was It's important, Like that

0:54:55.800 --> 0:54:58.640
<v Speaker 1>therapy is important because that disappointment just because like our

0:54:59.040 --> 0:55:01.560
<v Speaker 1>our expectations of marriage and family are.

0:55:01.440 --> 0:55:03.399
<v Speaker 2>So like deep rooted in us.

0:55:03.480 --> 0:55:07.320
<v Speaker 1>To cope with that as mothers, that that we were

0:55:07.400 --> 0:55:10.680
<v Speaker 1>letting go of that possibility or whatever is a.

0:55:10.600 --> 0:55:11.560
<v Speaker 2>Big It's a big thing.

0:55:13.400 --> 0:55:15.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, even sometimes I feel like this is gonna sound bad,

0:55:16.880 --> 0:55:19.200
<v Speaker 1>but sometimes like even my like it's one thing like moms.

0:55:19.200 --> 0:55:21.520
<v Speaker 2>But sometimes like my friends aren't black. I'm like, I

0:55:21.560 --> 0:55:22.359
<v Speaker 2>don't think you get it.

0:55:25.080 --> 0:55:30.319
<v Speaker 1>I want to like make it like keep in mind

0:55:30.320 --> 0:55:31.799
<v Speaker 1>all my friends are not like most of my friends

0:55:31.800 --> 0:55:35.319
<v Speaker 1>are not black. I got like three I'm like, you

0:55:35.320 --> 0:55:36.760
<v Speaker 1>don't get it because you're not black.

0:55:38.000 --> 0:55:40.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I don't have to disagree with

0:55:41.440 --> 0:55:42.440
<v Speaker 2>they get so offended.

0:55:42.480 --> 0:55:45.239
<v Speaker 1>But there's some things like culturally it's just different. That's

0:55:45.280 --> 0:55:46.600
<v Speaker 1>my baby's daddy.

0:55:48.120 --> 0:55:50.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you don't want to fall into that trap. But

0:55:50.320 --> 0:55:53.239
<v Speaker 4>I mean I think I think that. Yeah, I mean,

0:55:53.320 --> 0:55:58.560
<v Speaker 4>everybody's everybody's baby daddy is a man, and and they do.

0:56:00.080 --> 0:56:04.120
<v Speaker 4>She ain'tlide, they don't show up, they're inconsistent, you know,

0:56:04.160 --> 0:56:06.000
<v Speaker 4>all those things. Not every baby daddy. I mean, I'm

0:56:06.000 --> 0:56:07.440
<v Speaker 4>sure there's so many that are great.

0:56:07.560 --> 0:56:10.600
<v Speaker 2>Shout out to any of the good ones listening. You

0:56:10.680 --> 0:56:12.680
<v Speaker 2>love he's laden to the d ms. If you single,

0:56:14.960 --> 0:56:18.920
<v Speaker 2>we like single daddy. Have you seen that guy that

0:56:19.000 --> 0:56:22.200
<v Speaker 2>keeps sliding in our dms and will not stop? Which one?

0:56:22.400 --> 0:56:28.560
<v Speaker 2>There's some young kid? Why him? I always say, okay,

0:56:28.680 --> 0:56:31.480
<v Speaker 2>take care of this. Oh how's your dating situations? Have

0:56:31.560 --> 0:56:32.880
<v Speaker 2>you been dating? How's that? Well?

0:56:33.080 --> 0:56:37.400
<v Speaker 3>I I want to, but I don't want to force it.

0:56:37.440 --> 0:56:39.640
<v Speaker 3>So it's like I haven't I just haven't met anyone

0:56:39.640 --> 0:56:43.719
<v Speaker 3>that I really like, like enough to like. So I

0:56:43.800 --> 0:56:46.000
<v Speaker 3>want that to happen. But then at the same time,

0:56:46.040 --> 0:56:48.040
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be looking for it, so I'm

0:56:48.080 --> 0:56:48.720
<v Speaker 3>just chilling.

0:56:48.880 --> 0:56:50.440
<v Speaker 2>But I'm open to it.

0:56:52.239 --> 0:56:55.120
<v Speaker 4>No, but I'm scared because I already know I already

0:56:55.239 --> 0:56:55.920
<v Speaker 4>encouraged her.

0:56:55.960 --> 0:56:57.839
<v Speaker 2>Everyone would be like, we'll be on the shame room now,

0:56:58.800 --> 0:57:00.800
<v Speaker 2>right right right? I mean a Butterfly.

0:57:01.000 --> 0:57:04.200
<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, I totally encouraged me Ina to join Tender.

0:57:04.640 --> 0:57:07.040
<v Speaker 2>We already have this conversation that we're gonna encourage you

0:57:07.120 --> 0:57:07.480
<v Speaker 2>all the wrong.

0:57:08.320 --> 0:57:11.920
<v Speaker 4>I swear Tinder, you need to pay me, like, like,

0:57:11.960 --> 0:57:14.360
<v Speaker 4>as much as I talk about you, as much as I.

0:57:15.000 --> 0:57:19.240
<v Speaker 2>Number one, I do want to try. No, it's it's

0:57:19.280 --> 0:57:20.680
<v Speaker 2>it's different for you, you know what I mean?

0:57:20.720 --> 0:57:22.480
<v Speaker 4>And even me like I don't know, I don't I

0:57:22.480 --> 0:57:24.080
<v Speaker 4>don't like using it in l a like I like

0:57:24.120 --> 0:57:26.600
<v Speaker 4>to use it out of town just in case anybody,

0:57:26.680 --> 0:57:29.880
<v Speaker 4>like even like my like brother's friend sees me. You

0:57:29.880 --> 0:57:34.320
<v Speaker 4>know what, I feel weird about it, But I feel

0:57:34.320 --> 0:57:38.560
<v Speaker 4>like dating has definitely helped push push it along, push

0:57:38.600 --> 0:57:43.360
<v Speaker 4>it along of the process of healing from my past relationship.

0:57:43.520 --> 0:57:43.920
<v Speaker 2>Definitely.

0:57:43.920 --> 0:57:46.120
<v Speaker 4>I mean, obviously I have to heal within myself and

0:57:46.160 --> 0:57:49.240
<v Speaker 4>do what I have my own personal work, but it helps.

0:57:50.120 --> 0:57:52.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm definite.

0:57:53.920 --> 0:57:59.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, man, I'm excited about like now that.

0:57:59.520 --> 0:58:01.360
<v Speaker 2>You know, wonder like who I'm gonna end up?

0:58:01.800 --> 0:58:04.440
<v Speaker 4>Okay, But I mean, so now you you told us,

0:58:04.440 --> 0:58:06.040
<v Speaker 4>and you just told us that you know, you've dated

0:58:06.080 --> 0:58:07.680
<v Speaker 4>a lot. You've You've dated a lot of men that

0:58:07.760 --> 0:58:08.920
<v Speaker 4>had like other.

0:58:08.800 --> 0:58:09.680
<v Speaker 2>Women or this and that.

0:58:09.800 --> 0:58:11.800
<v Speaker 4>So you have to have you like thought and looked

0:58:12.160 --> 0:58:13.880
<v Speaker 4>hard at yourself, because this is something that I've had

0:58:13.920 --> 0:58:16.320
<v Speaker 4>to do too, And like why I'm attracted to the

0:58:16.480 --> 0:58:19.320
<v Speaker 4>Why why do I attract this certain type of person?

0:58:19.560 --> 0:58:22.560
<v Speaker 3>It's just that to me, Like when it comes to men,

0:58:22.720 --> 0:58:25.200
<v Speaker 3>like the one of the if not the most important

0:58:25.200 --> 0:58:29.760
<v Speaker 3>thing is like the chemistry and the passion, and like

0:58:29.800 --> 0:58:33.320
<v Speaker 3>the attraction, I'm just attracted to the wrong guys.

0:58:33.840 --> 0:58:36.080
<v Speaker 4>So you have to like you have to like reprogram

0:58:36.120 --> 0:58:38.600
<v Speaker 4>what that attraction means to you.

0:58:38.240 --> 0:58:39.120
<v Speaker 2>How do that?

0:58:39.760 --> 0:58:41.800
<v Speaker 4>Well, it's hard, like I told, like I was telling

0:58:41.840 --> 0:58:45.360
<v Speaker 4>you when I was on dating starting Tinder, like I

0:58:45.480 --> 0:58:47.680
<v Speaker 4>tried to force myself to go on dates with guys

0:58:47.720 --> 0:58:50.640
<v Speaker 4>I normally would say no to r and like I

0:58:50.680 --> 0:58:54.040
<v Speaker 4>still struggle with it. Like I've been dating someone consistently lately,

0:58:54.200 --> 0:58:57.600
<v Speaker 4>and you know, there's things about him that are so

0:58:57.760 --> 0:59:01.440
<v Speaker 4>different than like the father my child or like the

0:59:01.440 --> 0:59:04.120
<v Speaker 4>people that I've dated in the past, and like what

0:59:04.160 --> 0:59:09.280
<v Speaker 4>I equate masculinity to is like aggression and that's not right.

0:59:09.840 --> 0:59:13.000
<v Speaker 4>So like because he's not an aggressive person, sometimes I'd

0:59:13.000 --> 0:59:16.720
<v Speaker 4>be like, oh, damn, right, do I like this? I

0:59:16.720 --> 0:59:18.920
<v Speaker 4>don't know, but I'm like, why the fuck, yes, I

0:59:18.960 --> 0:59:21.640
<v Speaker 4>do like this, like stop thinking that. This is like,

0:59:22.240 --> 0:59:24.120
<v Speaker 4>this is what got you in the in trouble in

0:59:24.120 --> 0:59:26.680
<v Speaker 4>the first place, you know what I mean? Like this

0:59:26.760 --> 0:59:29.840
<v Speaker 4>man is has aggression and doesn't know how to communicate things.

0:59:29.840 --> 0:59:32.320
<v Speaker 4>All he knows how is to communicate things through aggression,

0:59:32.720 --> 0:59:33.280
<v Speaker 4>and that.

0:59:33.080 --> 0:59:35.040
<v Speaker 2>That's why you will guff. That's why you're fucked up

0:59:35.080 --> 0:59:36.520
<v Speaker 2>in the first place, you know.

0:59:36.760 --> 0:59:40.200
<v Speaker 4>So it's hard. It's hard to like reprogram yourself. I'm

0:59:40.240 --> 0:59:41.960
<v Speaker 4>still struggling with it, and I'm trying.

0:59:42.560 --> 0:59:46.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to try. I'm used to like I like

0:59:46.560 --> 0:59:49.840
<v Speaker 2>dark and mysterious men. I like the mystery. I like

0:59:49.880 --> 0:59:53.800
<v Speaker 2>the troubled soul. I know. And it's like, I know,

0:59:55.400 --> 0:59:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I know what the nice ones are just but I don't.

0:59:59.680 --> 1:00:03.480
<v Speaker 4>But I've I mean, my nice guy he's freaky.

1:00:03.240 --> 1:00:04.520
<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean.

1:00:04.240 --> 1:00:07.760
<v Speaker 4>I always thought nice guys were incapable of that, which

1:00:07.800 --> 1:00:11.960
<v Speaker 4>is totally fucked up. And that's not true.

1:00:11.400 --> 1:00:21.040
<v Speaker 1>I'll be the first to say nice guys just joking.

1:00:22.440 --> 1:00:26.160
<v Speaker 2>Kind of. Yeah, No, it's it's true. Like when you

1:00:26.200 --> 1:00:28.840
<v Speaker 2>start to do that, yeah, and you can't.

1:00:28.880 --> 1:00:31.400
<v Speaker 1>You can't force chemistry, you can't force attraction, like even

1:00:31.400 --> 1:00:34.440
<v Speaker 1>if it's a nice guy, you can't force it.

1:00:35.080 --> 1:00:36.840
<v Speaker 2>No, But I mean you have to give it a chance.

1:00:36.920 --> 1:00:38.280
<v Speaker 4>You have to give it a chance because you might

1:00:38.320 --> 1:00:41.120
<v Speaker 4>not be initially it might not be like this explosion

1:00:41.120 --> 1:00:44.000
<v Speaker 4>of attraction. Like it wasn't this explosion of attraction with

1:00:44.440 --> 1:00:46.480
<v Speaker 4>the guy that I've been saying, But it was like

1:00:46.520 --> 1:00:48.760
<v Speaker 4>a steady like as I got to know him more

1:00:48.760 --> 1:00:51.400
<v Speaker 4>and more, the attraction grew and grew and almost that's

1:00:51.720 --> 1:00:55.439
<v Speaker 4>almost like better. Yeah, you know, I've always dated men

1:00:55.560 --> 1:00:59.080
<v Speaker 4>that like we have this intense passion like off the bat,

1:00:59.520 --> 1:01:00.760
<v Speaker 4>and it ends then.

1:01:00.680 --> 1:01:04.040
<v Speaker 2>It like fizzles out quickly. Yeah, you know. And I'm

1:01:04.520 --> 1:01:05.200
<v Speaker 2>not to say that.

1:01:05.440 --> 1:01:07.520
<v Speaker 4>You know, you can't have that can't exist either. You

1:01:07.520 --> 1:01:10.040
<v Speaker 4>can't have this intense passion with the man and him

1:01:10.080 --> 1:01:11.600
<v Speaker 4>be like the man of your dreams and be the

1:01:11.640 --> 1:01:14.320
<v Speaker 4>perfect manner for you whatever. But I don't know, I'm

1:01:14.360 --> 1:01:17.400
<v Speaker 4>trying to go a different route. I encourage anyone listening

1:01:17.440 --> 1:01:19.320
<v Speaker 4>to like try to go a different route. You know,

1:01:19.360 --> 1:01:21.480
<v Speaker 4>it's going to be uncomfortable. You might think he's a

1:01:21.520 --> 1:01:24.240
<v Speaker 4>little corny at first, but you know, let him show

1:01:24.280 --> 1:01:26.520
<v Speaker 4>you who he is, let him get in that situation

1:01:26.600 --> 1:01:29.720
<v Speaker 4>where he can show you like, okay, you bout a

1:01:29.800 --> 1:01:34.160
<v Speaker 4>baby a little bit, and not like not like you're

1:01:34.160 --> 1:01:36.000
<v Speaker 4>gonna go to jail though, right right, you know that's

1:01:36.040 --> 1:01:36.600
<v Speaker 4>not cut anymore.

1:01:41.680 --> 1:01:45.320
<v Speaker 2>Story, I mean, did you think of any horries one?

1:01:45.440 --> 1:01:49.840
<v Speaker 3>But so they have to be dating related, not necessarily

1:01:49.880 --> 1:01:50.680
<v Speaker 3>dating related.

1:01:50.800 --> 1:01:52.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't if you don't have one.

1:01:52.600 --> 1:01:57.880
<v Speaker 4>If you don't have one one, okay, I have a

1:01:57.880 --> 1:02:02.560
<v Speaker 4>recent one, please please. It's not like a horror like

1:02:02.600 --> 1:02:04.600
<v Speaker 4>I wasn't being a whore. It's more of like literally

1:02:04.680 --> 1:02:08.000
<v Speaker 4>a horror story. And only some people might not think

1:02:08.040 --> 1:02:10.240
<v Speaker 4>this is a horror story, but to me, I was

1:02:10.240 --> 1:02:14.120
<v Speaker 4>a little horrified. So me and the guy, this guy

1:02:14.160 --> 1:02:17.400
<v Speaker 4>were you know, looking up, we're kissing, and like I

1:02:17.400 --> 1:02:20.280
<v Speaker 4>had decided, I didn't Okay, low key, it's the guy

1:02:20.280 --> 1:02:20.960
<v Speaker 4>from Nicaragua.

1:02:20.960 --> 1:02:26.160
<v Speaker 5>Okay, you know, just stop with the my I didn't

1:02:26.200 --> 1:02:29.160
<v Speaker 5>put it out there, okay, did I from Nicaragua.

1:02:29.320 --> 1:02:31.919
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't really feeling a nice guy, really great guy.

1:02:32.000 --> 1:02:35.120
<v Speaker 4>I enjoyed his company, but I just the chemistry is

1:02:35.160 --> 1:02:37.520
<v Speaker 4>not there, and I I've tried to let it build,

1:02:37.600 --> 1:02:39.360
<v Speaker 4>like I've just said, and it just isn't there for

1:02:39.440 --> 1:02:40.680
<v Speaker 4>me and I really realized that on.

1:02:40.600 --> 1:02:42.880
<v Speaker 2>This trip, when I spent two consecutive.

1:02:42.360 --> 1:02:46.440
<v Speaker 4>Days with him, and you know, I got drunk. We like,

1:02:46.600 --> 1:02:49.080
<v Speaker 4>you know, made out a little bit and then you know,

1:02:49.240 --> 1:02:53.840
<v Speaker 4>I wasn't I wasn't down. I wasn't down, but he

1:02:53.960 --> 1:02:55.840
<v Speaker 4>but I like, again, I was testing myself and I

1:02:55.880 --> 1:02:56.480
<v Speaker 4>was like, you know what, I don't.

1:02:56.480 --> 1:02:58.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't really want to have sex. I'm sorry. And

1:02:58.840 --> 1:03:00.400
<v Speaker 2>he was like why and I was like, I just don't.

1:03:00.880 --> 1:03:03.840
<v Speaker 4>I just I'm not into it. And he was like, well,

1:03:04.400 --> 1:03:05.120
<v Speaker 4>can I hump you?

1:03:05.880 --> 1:03:07.880
<v Speaker 2>He's no way, you need to be clear, he said,

1:03:08.000 --> 1:03:09.720
<v Speaker 2>can I hump? He was like, well, can I just

1:03:09.800 --> 1:03:15.240
<v Speaker 2>hump you? She's laughing too, because it's hilarious. I feel

1:03:15.320 --> 1:03:17.640
<v Speaker 2>terrible having this conversation in front of her child. Amina.

1:03:18.120 --> 1:03:22.760
<v Speaker 4>She's as our last episode is about all the things

1:03:22.760 --> 1:03:24.560
<v Speaker 4>that children pick up on when we don't think they

1:03:24.640 --> 1:03:25.560
<v Speaker 4>know what they're talking about.

1:03:25.640 --> 1:03:28.720
<v Speaker 2>We meant under too. We met that it only counts

1:03:28.800 --> 1:03:31.440
<v Speaker 2>under two years old. Just like Disneyland, they're free under two,

1:03:32.200 --> 1:03:34.720
<v Speaker 2>we're free under two. Yeah.

1:03:34.760 --> 1:03:36.800
<v Speaker 4>He asked if he could hunt me and I said okay,

1:03:36.920 --> 1:03:38.200
<v Speaker 4>and then I was like, because.

1:03:37.960 --> 1:03:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know what else to do.

1:03:39.840 --> 1:03:43.280
<v Speaker 4>I know I failed at the Okay, I like semi

1:03:43.800 --> 1:03:46.800
<v Speaker 4>accomplished my goal of like not doing but then I

1:03:46.840 --> 1:03:50.560
<v Speaker 4>still compromised and like, okay.

1:03:50.240 --> 1:03:52.920
<v Speaker 2>Well I guess that's not so good. Okay.

1:03:53.720 --> 1:03:55.520
<v Speaker 4>And when I say hump, like not like hump with

1:03:55.840 --> 1:03:58.040
<v Speaker 4>a penis out, like he was fully like clothed, like

1:03:58.080 --> 1:04:00.000
<v Speaker 4>there was like he does underweirl on and he humped

1:04:00.080 --> 1:04:02.520
<v Speaker 4>to me and I was like, well, what are you.

1:04:02.480 --> 1:04:06.000
<v Speaker 2>Completely what's gonna happen? Like, I was like, what's gonna happen?

1:04:06.080 --> 1:04:08.440
<v Speaker 4>Like when you were you gonna come? And he was

1:04:08.480 --> 1:04:12.960
<v Speaker 4>like in a mandawaar, like are you ten years old?

1:04:13.360 --> 1:04:14.520
<v Speaker 2>No dog.

1:04:16.400 --> 1:04:19.640
<v Speaker 1>For him, because you should never repeat that again. Just

1:04:19.720 --> 1:04:21.400
<v Speaker 1>do it if you're gonna if you want to do it,

1:04:21.440 --> 1:04:24.640
<v Speaker 1>just do it. But please please refrain from asking anyone

1:04:24.640 --> 1:04:25.800
<v Speaker 1>else if you can hump them.

1:04:26.560 --> 1:04:28.280
<v Speaker 2>And apparently I think it's a thing for him. He

1:04:28.360 --> 1:04:29.040
<v Speaker 2>really it's not.

1:04:29.120 --> 1:04:31.760
<v Speaker 4>It's not apparently like he told me he likes to hump,

1:04:32.240 --> 1:04:32.720
<v Speaker 4>like he's.

1:04:32.600 --> 1:04:37.440
<v Speaker 2>A humper like a dog. I don't know he likes

1:04:37.440 --> 1:04:39.800
<v Speaker 2>to hump and he needs a humper. I don't Oh

1:04:39.880 --> 1:04:41.400
<v Speaker 2>my goodness, I don't know. I didn't know that was

1:04:41.400 --> 1:04:41.600
<v Speaker 2>a thing.

1:04:41.680 --> 1:04:43.920
<v Speaker 4>Still, I remember doing that in like, you know, middle school,

1:04:45.520 --> 1:04:46.520
<v Speaker 4>early high school.

1:04:48.560 --> 1:04:50.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because you're scared to do anything else.

1:04:50.680 --> 1:04:53.640
<v Speaker 1>It was like right before finger bak, you know it

1:04:53.680 --> 1:04:55.720
<v Speaker 1>was it was like it was a grinding titty sucks

1:04:55.760 --> 1:05:00.280
<v Speaker 1>finger bank slowly.

1:05:00.360 --> 1:05:03.680
<v Speaker 2>Genital start coming out of the underwear. Oh my god,

1:05:04.360 --> 1:05:08.400
<v Speaker 2>it was so bad. Anyway, that's my horror story, the

1:05:08.440 --> 1:05:14.040
<v Speaker 2>real one. But we have the weekend. Well does that

1:05:14.080 --> 1:05:15.800
<v Speaker 2>conclude our today's episode?

1:05:16.080 --> 1:05:16.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

1:05:16.320 --> 1:05:20.920
<v Speaker 2>I think just as a recap. Love yourself. Oh, also,

1:05:22.080 --> 1:05:23.640
<v Speaker 2>you could drop your kids off with us all the

1:05:23.640 --> 1:05:26.880
<v Speaker 2>time Monday. You're a part of the village. Call us

1:05:26.920 --> 1:05:27.840
<v Speaker 2>if you need some help.

1:05:28.000 --> 1:05:31.520
<v Speaker 5>Hell yeah, because we're mom's two and sometimes we have

1:05:31.560 --> 1:05:33.160
<v Speaker 5>the kids and we can't do shit, So might as

1:05:33.200 --> 1:05:33.760
<v Speaker 5>well rotate.

1:05:34.000 --> 1:05:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Ye, might as well keep it in rotation. This one's

1:05:37.040 --> 1:05:39.400
<v Speaker 2>blue to your hip. She might have a meltdown. No,

1:05:39.480 --> 1:05:42.640
<v Speaker 2>but you know once she's normally fine.

1:05:42.640 --> 1:05:45.840
<v Speaker 3>Does she still breastfeed? No, you stopped about it. I

1:05:45.840 --> 1:05:48.200
<v Speaker 3>said her early at six months, which is still okay.

1:05:48.400 --> 1:05:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because some don't even do that. Yeah, how how

1:05:51.960 --> 1:05:56.760
<v Speaker 2>long did Corey? Fourteen months? Yeah? Mel over here breast

1:05:56.800 --> 1:05:58.240
<v Speaker 2>feed to Luna was four years old.

1:06:00.360 --> 1:06:04.000
<v Speaker 1>Rest fee bash me on the podcast Okay, this is

1:06:04.040 --> 1:06:05.520
<v Speaker 1>about woman camaraderie.

1:06:05.680 --> 1:06:10.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, do not breastfeed, just kidding. You know hands?

1:06:10.600 --> 1:06:13.480
<v Speaker 1>Have you seen my hands? Have you seen my little titties?

1:06:14.160 --> 1:06:18.800
<v Speaker 1>That's two years of breastfeed. So if you want to

1:06:18.880 --> 1:06:21.640
<v Speaker 1>check us out, check us out on at Good Moms,

1:06:21.840 --> 1:06:23.840
<v Speaker 1>Underscore b Choices.

1:06:24.640 --> 1:06:26.760
<v Speaker 2>And make sure you check out Amina.

1:06:26.680 --> 1:06:31.160
<v Speaker 1>And Amina, Butterfly Des with DS with Des and check

1:06:31.160 --> 1:06:35.600
<v Speaker 1>out her book The Other Woman and her album Mother.

1:06:36.440 --> 1:06:38.960
<v Speaker 2>And I think we're going to fade out with a song.

1:06:40.600 --> 1:06:45.840
<v Speaker 2>Let's do it, thank you do it again.

1:06:48.560 --> 1:06:50.680
<v Speaker 4>She was a little soundtrack in the background. I know

1:06:50.800 --> 1:06:53.800
<v Speaker 4>she was singing her little song. All right, Well, we

1:06:53.880 --> 1:06:55.240
<v Speaker 4>will see you guys next week.

1:06:55.360 --> 1:06:56.720
<v Speaker 2>Have a wonderful week.

1:06:56.960 --> 1:07:03.040
<v Speaker 1>And call hi.

1:07:03.360 --> 1:07:10.480
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I can take you. Show you house girls, tell

1:07:10.520 --> 1:07:16.640
<v Speaker 2>you out, you say, somebody to feeling you don't. Everybody

1:07:16.800 --> 1:07:21.400
<v Speaker 2>got a God speaking m A. And though you seem

1:07:21.680 --> 1:07:26.680
<v Speaker 2>kind of cool too, many guys have the most time

1:07:27.200 --> 1:07:33.360
<v Speaker 2>to not how they got you wrong. You