WEBVTT - Ron addresses Q-Anon 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:12.080 Who's that man talking in my e He's Rong Burgundy 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:18.680 Me talking, me talking, me talking, me talking, me talking 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.800 me talking. Hello, you're listening to the Me Talking Show 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:26.280 where I talk and talk and talk and talk. Sometimes 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:29.680 I'm interrupted by a young woman named Carolina. Her talking 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:34.400 doesn't sound like my talking. Say something, Carolina, right, Hello, 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:37.840 this is Carolina. You see her voice sounds different than mine. 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:50.159 Mine sounds like this our ah we and her sounds 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:59.920 like this. Do it? Ah, you you can you tell 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.600 a difference. Here's what it sounds like when we both 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:19.920 do it together. Ah oh ah. So you can see 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:23.080 that when I'm talking, which will undoubtedly be a lot, 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:28.319 my voice will sound one way and Carolina's will sound another. 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:35.840 Now on with the Me Talking Show, the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Then, oh, 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.640 is that what we are calling it? We've we've always 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:42.959 called it that. We've called it that for years, always 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:47.320 since the beginning. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope nope. 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:50.400 I called it the Jeremy hold Quist Show for a 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.080 few weeks before we went on the air, and that 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:57.080 was when Vanessa la Scha was my co host. What why? 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.920 I've always just loved the name Jeremy Holquist. And if 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:04.320 there's someone out there with that name, I say, lucky you. 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.040 Wouldn't it be great to go through your day with 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:10.480 the name Jeremy Holquist. What a pleasure that would be. 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:15.279 Can you imagine such a lucky fate? Carolina? Ah, I cannot, 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:20.040 I can I imagine? Jeremy Holquist is a man of distinction. 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:23.720 He holds his head high when entering a conference room 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.840 or the lobby of an international hotel. He's got some 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:29.440 facial hair, and his nails are trimmed very neatly, with 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.639 the lightest of gloss applied to them, not so much 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.240 to attract attention, but just enough to say I'm here 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:39.040 and I drink champagne for lunch. His attache case is 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:42.680 made from the soft hides of webbed duck feet, but 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:45.720 only after they have died of natural causes and are 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.440 given a proper duck burial for Jeremy Holquist is an 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:54.200 amateur naturalist and an animal lover. He resides in several homes, 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.440 a beach house off the coast of Maine, an expensive 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:00.440 condo atop knob Hill in San Francisco, and a lookout 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:04.079 station on Mount Rainier in Washington State. He has written 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:10.079 several best selling suspense novels under the pseudonym Carl Klaus. Anyway, 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.360 that's just how I imagine Jeremy Holquist. What do you 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:15.720 think he's like? I just can't believe you've spent so 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:19.160 much time thinking about the personality for a fake name. 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:23.840 I mean, do you think maybe you're imagining him a 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:27.320 little bit how you see yourself? What? No, No, not 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.079 at all. Holduist is six ft two and I am 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:33.880 six ft three. Fold. Uist is also two months older 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.920 than me. So no, you're so stupid for saying that 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.680 he's That's not needed. He's an entirely different person. Why 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.000 why did you even suggest that? Yes? I have written novels, 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:46.280 of course, but I go by the name Daniel Steele, 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:51.040 not Carl Klaus. You write under the name Dan You 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:53.840 know what, I'm not going to bite um? Okay, well 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.080 for now, can we just stick to calling the show 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:58.840 the Ron Burgundy Podcast for today? Yeah, that's fine with me. 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.800 You know my name is Ron Burgundy. Is there a 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:04.960 bump there? I'm sorry. Well, if we call the show 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.400 the Ron Burgundy Podcast, people will think I named it 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.600 after me. That's not a problem. For you. You are 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:13.440 Ron Burgundy and this is your podcast. We've been doing 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:17.760 this for three years. What is right? Of course I 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.560 get confused inside my brain from time to time, thoughts 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.880 splash around in there like Piranha's attacking a water buffalo. 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.839 Hello everyone, let's start over. Yeah, my name is Ron 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:32.400 Burgundy and you are listening to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:36.560 I'm joined as always by the lovely under sext and 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:42.880 over educated Carolina. Hello Carolina, Hello Ron. What have we 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:46.200 got on the docket for our show today? It's a 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:51.640 little controversial. Um, you wanted to talk about Q and On? Yes, 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:55.760 I wanted to talk about the mysterious and dark world 0:04:55.960 --> 0:05:03.279 of q ah. So tell me, Carolina, what do you 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:10.480 know about so? Q and On is a conspiracy theory 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:14.800 that there is a group of Satan worshiping elites run 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.680 a child sex ring and are also trying to control 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:23.040 our politics and media. Um. Something like sevent of adults 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:25.839 in this country believe in Q and On. Okay, not 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:29.240 a bad start first, because this has always been a 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:33.640 fair and balanced, news based podcast. Let's not start off 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:37.080 by calling it a conspiracy. It's a belief held by 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:41.280 many good Americans and even some members of Congress unfortunately. Yeah, 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.720 are there Satan worshippers in this world? Yes? There are, 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:48.479 are there people trying to control our media. Probably. Are 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:51.760 there sickos out there? Yes, So when we look at 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.920 it objectively, Carolina, you can see the common sense here. 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:58.080 Run Are you seriously going to try and defend Q 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.680 and on? We know we can't do this. Hold the 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:04.520 boat there. I'm a journalist, I'm not a politician. I 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:09.960 work in hard facts, not spin. Let's consider the first elements. 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:14.680 Satanic cults. Do they exist? Who runs them? Well, here's 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.800 where my vast knowledge of the world comes in handy. 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:21.359 They do exist, And I confess I was once in 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:24.720 such a cult for a short while. This was back 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:26.640 in the seventies, of course, and I had gotten ahold 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:31.040 of an experimental new root plant that, if prepared correctly, 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:35.520 could transport me to a new dimension. Yes, I was 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:38.600 always one to explore my boundaries. So I prepared the 0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:42.279 meat of the route in a cyboreum or what you 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:46.400 refer to as a sacramental cup, and I drank. Nothing 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.520 seemed to happen except that I grew very tired. However, 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:52.200 when I awoke, I was in an adobe hut in 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:57.640 New Mexico, surrounded by naked adult people people. Yes, I 0:06:57.680 --> 0:06:59.720 hadn't a clue as to how I had gotten there 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:03.520 or who these people were. I noticed right away that 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:06.840 I had what surgeons and anyone in the medical profession 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:11.280 would call a boner. My head felt like cotton candy 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:14.960 wrapped in velvet. It was a marvelous sensation. A man 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:18.560 introduced himself to me as Lord Voltrix and said that 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:23.120 I had arrived at my final destination. Final destination, I asked. 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.720 I was still a young man full of vim and vigor, 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.240 and I I doubted this dirt hut was to be 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:33.520 my final destination in life. But this fella Voltrax yes, 0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:36.920 assured me this was as far as I was meant 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:40.240 to go. Well, I went with it. It was fun. 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.480 My head felt great, I had that boner and wasn't 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:46.240 going anywhere, so I went with the flow, as they say. 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.240 Pretty soon the room filled with more naked people, all 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:52.960 adults and mainly women. Do you know what it feels like, Caroline, 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:56.080 to have sex with sixteen people? I am so glad, 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.600 I don't. I mean, like most people. I tried like 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:04.440 a way in college, free way smee way, buddy, that's 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:08.840 Thursday night in the Burgundy household. I'm talking about sixteen 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:13.920 or twenty people all doing it, different bodies, tall, little, big, small, 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.720 making love and the most passionate and oily way possible. 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:20.640 And there was a lot of oil, mink oil, I 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.080 believe it. Most of it was being poured on me. 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.720 Mink o, Yes, mink oil, the steady supply of mink oil. 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:30.280 So much oil, like a fifty five gallon drum full 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.640 of mink oil, poured over my body. Jesus, I already 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:36.200 felt like a marshmallow dipped in warm syrup, but that 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:40.360 oil added to my euphoria. Soon I was being transported 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:42.960 by the naked women to the outside hut. It was 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:47.840 night and I could see people carrying torches everywhere. We 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:49.959 were were in a great clearing and a large crowd 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.760 of maybe a hundred people had gathered. The naked women 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:55.920 laid me down in a soft but prickly mound of sticks. 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:58.520 My wrists were tied to some posts, as well as 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:02.680 my ankles. Now we're getting someplace, I thought, B D 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.600 S M for sure, although no one had asked me 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.880 for my safety word, which, by the way, is simply 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:12.360 a mix up of my name bond Urgandy. I don't 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.000 need to know your safe word. Safety words are very important, 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.920 and bondage situation Scarelina. Well, to be honest, that one 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:21.440 seems kind of easy to mess up. Hmm yeah, let's 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:24.760 return to that later. We don't have to Anyway. Somewhere 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.520 a fire was lit and it was getting hotter. This 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:31.840 Lord Voltrex guy, was now dressed in a ridiculous wizard costume, 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:36.000 started yelling about satan and worthy sacrifices blah blah blah. 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:38.720 While I was thinking to myself, I shouldn't get too 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.440 close to one of them torches with all that oil 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.360 all over my body. Then the fire erupted and it 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.960 finally dawned on me. These naked mofos were trying to 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:53.000 burn me at the stake. I quickly unloosened their pitiful knots. 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:55.880 I mean ship, If you're going to stake a man 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.240 to the ground so you can burn them, learn a 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:01.400 simple knot. These idio it didn't know what hit the 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.960 Still high on the juice of that South American root plant, 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:07.800 I jumped to my feet, grabbed a large branch, and 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:10.760 began beating everyone in sight. Oh my god, it was 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:13.560 a night to remember. But to be honest, I don't 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:16.640 remember much. I can only tell the tale because years 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:20.760 later I ran into Lord Voltra, Yes, listen to this, 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.880 who was now going by the name Doug Jenkins. Now 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:26.080 Jenkins told me he was the leader of a sex 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:29.240 cult out of Frisco that was starting to fall apart. 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.640 He rebranded it a Satanic cult to keep people on 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:36.720 board so there would be more sex parties. Genius, I thought, 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:41.160 But then inevitably he had to up the anti first 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.679 with animal sacrifices, and then I was to be the 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:47.440 first human sacer. He found me wandering in the desert 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.000 and nothing but a cut off football jersey and brought 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:51.920 me back to this cult where they were going to 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.320 burn me. I shook his hand and we parted ways, 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:58.200 no hard feelings. I went back to my news desk, 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:01.960 and he started a little company called l Computers. And that, 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:06.080 my friends, is where the story really begins. No, the 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.800 story began a long time ago. I just I don't 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:12.480 get it. So you're trying to say there are satanic cults, 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:15.960 and Q and On is right to believe it. Precisely, 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:20.600 there are satanic cults. However, do they really control anything 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:25.720 other than hippies and runaways? Hardly likely. The Satanic cults 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.960 I have encountered have all formed because one guy wants 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.560 to get laid. That was true of manson nexium cults 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:35.520 and most cults. It's actually pretty apt. I mean, heck, 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.720 I would form a cult, except I can get laid 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.800 any day of the week. Oh yeah, that's true. You 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:45.120 should form a coult, Carolina. What's that supposed to mean? 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:49.760 You know you? No, I don't nothing, nothing at all. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.960 Just just maybe you'd find a date. You don't have 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.400 many options, and this is an option, That's all I'm 0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:00.240 saying I can do. Just find dating without joining a call. 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.400 Oh no, no, never join a cold. Then you're stuck 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:06.320 sleeping with some greasy loser. You have to start your 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:09.280 own and pile up naked men like Jenga pieces. I'm 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.640 not going to do that, Ron, I mean, honestly, this 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:15.600 is the most normal dating advice you've ever given me. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:18.240 But I don't need to start or join a cold 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:21.520 to find a boyfriend or find a partner or whatever. Okay, 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:36.760 fair enough, moving on, I want to talk about the 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:40.480 whole child abduction part of Q and On right. So, 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:42.640 one of the main beliefs of the Q and On 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:47.600 followers is that this cabal of elites, mainly Hollywood actors 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:51.240 and Hillary Clinton, kidnap children, slaughter and eat them to 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:55.840 gain power from their blood. Those are some serious charges, yes, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.360 but you can't take them seriously. It's like the most 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.439 ridiculous claim ever. It's like what Nazis used to say 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:05.240 about Jews. There's a real correlation here with Nazis and 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.880 Q and On. But but that's for another day. Let's 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:09.560 consider the fact. I don't know if we should do 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.600 that episode, but I want to make it abundantly clear. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:16.000 I have never ever eaten a baby. No one thinks 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.679 that that needs to be on the record. Ron has 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:23.679 never eaten a baby, Are we clear? Yes? We always 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:27.400 assumed that. I know some pretty powerful people. Randy Quaid 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:32.479 comes to mind, Neil de grass Tyson, another TikTok celebrity, 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.000 Charlie Damilo. So yeah, I'm a big deal, and as 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:38.560 far as I know, none of them have engaged in 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:42.480 baby eating. That said, let's discuss the science. I think 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.280 there's some idea that would eating a baby make you 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:49.040 appear younger. That's the question. Yes, once again, I've never 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.480 eaten a baby. However, my old work associate and drinking 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:56.040 buddy Champ kind once took me on an adventure into 0:13:56.080 --> 0:14:00.120 one of the darkest corners of human depravity. Champ, as 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.040 you know, could be a little reckless in his associations. 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:06.640 That he introduced me to a suspicious man named Larry Choi, 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:09.559 who claimed he could rejuvenate the human body with a 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.839 dren of chrome harvesting. If you haven't heard of a 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.960 dren of chrome harvesting, then you're lucky. I was to 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:20.440 learn all too much about this very real and dangerous subject. 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.800 Champ introduced me to Mr Choi one night in a 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:26.840 Denny's dinner, where I munched carelessly on a three egg 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:31.200 Grand Slam breakfast with bacon and sausage patties and home fries, 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.960 along with two silver dollar pancakes and a side of 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.960 ham slices with French toes, and another omelet with feta 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.200 cheese and ham, which came with a side dish of 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:44.720 sausage links and a wavers grand cheros and biscuits and gravy, 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.520 all washed down with hot cups of coffee and a 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:53.280 malted milkshake. All in between bites. I got to know 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.600 Larry Choi, and he invited me to a private island 0:14:56.640 --> 0:15:00.400 off the coast of South America where certain celebrities, liberal elites, 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:04.280 and high powered athletes were also present. Not wanting to 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:08.280 damage anyone's reputation, I can't divulge who was there. I 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.960 could drop clues. If you want to really work out it, 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:14.440 you can try. For instance, a recent Super Bowl winning 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:17.080 quarterback who used to play for the New England Patriots 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:21.200 was there, A handsome Hollywood leading man known for his 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:26.400 work in Titanic, and Peter Thield. So you just outed 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:31.280 Tom Brady, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Peter Field. You're a super sleuth. No, 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:33.720 I made that. I made that super easy. I couldn't 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:35.840 help it. It was kind of cool that I was 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:39.520 on a secluded island with these celebrities and others. I 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:42.880 can't mention Eva Longoria, Ashton cut you're Lebron James. I 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.200 can't help it to be in the company of these people. 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.720 It speaks to my vanity. Hillary Clinton, George so Stephen 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:53.760 King enough, I'm revealing too much. Kira Knightley halle Berry, 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:57.680 Brian Williams, They're all done good, Andy Sandberg, Michael Strahan, 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:02.040 Dame Judy Dench, so many more. Anyway, suffice it to 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:06.800 say I was in good company. Now, for my listeners 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.560 who are a little squeamish, the details of what I'm 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:13.800 about to tell you are horrific, beyond the pale. If 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:17.680 you cannot handle blood, or torture or murder, please stop listening. 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.600 Oh wait, Cameron Diaz was there too. I just had 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.280 to throw that in. All the events that followed did 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:26.000 in fact happen, and by recounting them, I know I'll 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.880 give great support to the que and on followers, but 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:31.760 I cannot deny the facts of the night. Are you ready, Carolina? 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.360 I really I don't know if I am Carolina. This 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:38.200 is real life I'm talking about. Are you ready? I'm ready, 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:42.840 I'm ready. There we were, this majestic group of elite people, 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:47.880 seated along too beautifully appointed dining tables in an outdoor 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:52.720 patio that overlooked the ocean. The atmosphere was electric. Over 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:56.360 in the corner, popular singer and musician Sting played gently 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.840 on his guitar for our amusement. The conversation was intoxic, 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.920 and the wine was selected by the finest Somalia from 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:06.800 the private bolts of Peter Theo. From out of the lodge, 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.720 a group of masked waiters appeared, holding individual serving platters 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.920 covered on top, so we could not as of yet 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:18.080 see the delicious meal that was to come. Each person there, 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:22.080 Rachel Maddow was there, had their own covered silver platter. 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:27.159 The anticipation was great. Larry CHOI made a quick toast 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:31.040 and then told everyone to dig in. I lifted the 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.000 cover off my plate, and there before me was a 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.119 live baby. At first, I thought this must be some 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.600 kind of joke. But I turned my head and saw 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:44.280 all of these elites and Hollywood celebrities taking huge forkfuls 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:48.280 of baby meat and stuffing it in their mouths. I 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:52.000 know none of this happened, of course not. I'm bullshitting you. 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:55.240 See how easy it is to make up stories about 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:58.679 people we don't know. I do know Michael Strayan, however, 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:04.040 no eats babies. It's ridiculous, Carolina. But it's fun to 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.879 make up mean stories about people who have better lives 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:10.280 than ours. It just is. Are there some elites who 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:14.240 are immoral and criminal? Donald Trump comes to mind, along 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:17.160 with Jeffrey Epstein. But is there a group of elites 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:20.320 that eat babies or drink blood. Give me a break, people. 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:23.400 There are too many Americans who spend too much time 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:27.560 online reading about Hillary Clinton, satanic baby eating cold and 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:33.960 not enough time with hobbies. Do you have hobbies, Carolina? Hobby? I? 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:37.439 I don't know. I like shopping online, I guess, and 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:41.600 then I watched TV like most people. Well that's the 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.560 problem with kids these days. What happened to hobbies? We 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.879 should we should do a whole show on hobbies. I 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:49.560 have so many hobbies. I only have time for my hobbies. 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:53.480 I like to whittle. Do you like to whittle? Like whittle? Would? 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:56.720 I've never even tried. Give it a try. Whittling is fun. 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:01.040 How about stamp collecting? Do you collect stamps? No? Neither 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:05.760 do I, But stamp collecting would take great perseverance and research. 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:09.240 If you collected stamps, you probably wouldn't have time to 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:11.800 think about a cabal of Satan worshiping elites who are 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:14.720 staying youthful by eating babies. No, you'd be on the 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:19.160 lookout for that rare inverted Jenny, the rarest stamp out there. 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.359 What a hobby that would be. You can almost feel 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.880 the blood pumping excitement in stamp collecting. Can't you care 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:30.320 that the blood pumping excitement? No, I stamp Clifton kind 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:33.080 of sounds boring as hobbies go. Sure, it's boring if 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.520 you're used to sitting around looking at porn all night 0:19:35.520 --> 0:19:38.639 and reading about satanic colts. But not all hobbies are boring, 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.240 by the way, Well, give me an exciting hobby. Okay, easy, 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:45.960 metal detective. If you want to get the blood pumping 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:49.880 and the heart racing, get yourself a metal detector. It's 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:53.400 a better feeling than you'll ever get in a Nevada horehouse, 0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:56.040 if you know what I mean. No, you can't just 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.879 say that, and I don't know what you mean. You 0:19:59.000 --> 0:20:02.320 never even talked about metal detecting to me before. I can't. 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:07.480 I'm afraid I might reveal my secret spots. Secret spots. Yes, 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:11.000 metal heads as we call ourselves. You know we have 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:15.120 our secret locations where great treasures have been found. So 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.840 no need to invite other metal heads to take our plunder. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:22.440 Over the years, I've found watches, rings, coins of plenty. 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:25.960 I even found Spanish doubloons where thousands of dollars. However, 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:29.840 I don't do it to make money or bragg I'm sorry. 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:32.240 If you don't do it to make money or brag, 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:35.440 why do you do it? It's good fun and here's 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:38.639 the bonus. Because I'm out there looking for old metal, 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:41.760 I don't spend my time thinking there's a satanic cult 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:45.840 stealing babies and eating them does make sense, of course, 0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:48.600 it makes sense. If people had hobbies, they wouldn't care 0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:51.879 about demographic changes in the country. They wouldn't care about 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:56.320 gay people getting married or who's using a bathroom. Remember 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:58.760 that guy who drove forward miles to comment Ping Pong 0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:02.119 pizza because thought Hillary and John Podesta were operating a 0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:06.359 pedophile ring in the back. Um. Yeah, they called pizza Gate. 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.880 He actually shot the place up. Well, if he collected 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.720 bottles or painted rocks, he wouldn't have done that. He 0:21:11.760 --> 0:21:14.359 wouldn't be in jail. He'd be at home cleaning his 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.480 bottle collection or painting a rock to look like a ladybug. 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:20.520 People need to get hobbies. It's that simple, okay, But 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:22.960 what about the news media. Is there a caball of 0:21:23.000 --> 0:21:27.639 elites who run our news outlets that I'm afraid is true. 0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:30.119 I worked in the news game for most of my 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:32.840 life as you know. In fact, not to brag, but 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:35.199 I was one of the most important news anchors in 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:39.000 the history of evening news. For much of my career, 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:41.720 I was with k vw N on Channel four down 0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:45.080 in San Diego, a town kissed by the sun gods 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:49.080 and blessed by the what people don't know too well 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.399 as I did a stint out of Little Rock on 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:54.879 the news desk for their evening news. The station was 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.000 w r O P. You can look it up. This 0:21:57.040 --> 0:21:59.480 is a true story, and it was owned and operated 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:03.760 by Clem Hawkins, the am King they called him. Clim 0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:08.720 was married to a very beautiful, large, very large, extremely 0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:14.040 large world named Patricia Anne Hawkins. Everyone included Clem called 0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:16.520 her Patty Cakes. And when I got to Little Rock 0:22:16.560 --> 0:22:18.560 there was there was a lot of unrest brewing over 0:22:18.600 --> 0:22:22.720 civil rights, the Vietnam War, and women's lib I was 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:25.800 eager to get stories about these earth shattering events out 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:29.080 to my viewers. My first day, Clem sat me down 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:32.600 and explained the rules. I quickly learned I wasn't going 0:22:32.640 --> 0:22:34.560 to have a lot of say about the kinds of 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:38.440 stories I was reporting on. He and Patty Cakes had 0:22:38.520 --> 0:22:42.600 approved everything we reported on in our half hour patty 0:22:42.600 --> 0:22:46.200 cakes didn't mind a little pizzaz. She tolerated some feel 0:22:46.240 --> 0:22:50.840 good stories from Vietnams and an occasional story about a 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:54.800 woman with her own business. She apparently spent a semester 0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:58.040 in an East Coast school getting a liberal education, but 0:22:58.200 --> 0:23:01.600 she didn't want to dip her large pink round toes 0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:05.200 and any of the boiling waters of that civil rights stuff. 0:23:05.240 --> 0:23:07.400 The ham King had a business, and he couldn't take 0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:10.720 sides too much on any issue. His business was to 0:23:10.760 --> 0:23:14.080 provide the juiciest and most tender honey baked hams the 0:23:14.200 --> 0:23:17.879 Little Rock and the surrounding areas. He reasoned, if he 0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:20.320 ran a story that anger had divided his viewers, he 0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:23.520 could lose out on a ham sale. Stories that were 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:27.200 too political were out of the question. Our job, besides 0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:30.640 reporting on the amazing charitable work of petticakes, of which 0:23:30.680 --> 0:23:34.080 truth be told, there were none, was to keep everyone 0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:38.119 happy and sell hams. Hams built the empire. Clem Hawkins 0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:40.840 sat at top, and he'd be damned if his own 0:23:40.880 --> 0:23:44.000 TV station wasn't going to keep it that way. So 0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:47.280 you avoided news stories that might make people sad or 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:51.160 angry because the owner didn't want a drop in ham sales. 0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:55.080 Is that? Am I getting that right? Essentially? Yes? Well, 0:23:55.280 --> 0:23:59.440 I can imagine as a newsman that must have been oppressive. 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:01.880 I mean, I bet you were glad to get out 0:24:01.880 --> 0:24:04.440 of there. Are you kidding me? I love Little Rock. 0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:08.040 I had a house overlooking the Arkansas River with an 0:24:08.119 --> 0:24:11.959 eight person capacity hot tub. My face was on billboards 0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:14.440 all over town. I hosted the annual Easter egg hunt. 0:24:14.920 --> 0:24:16.800 But you're a news anchor. You didn't get to tell 0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:19.280 the news didn't matter to me. I was young and 0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:22.400