WEBVTT - RHONY's Leah McSweeney

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, my love. It is La La Kent. Welcome back

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<v Speaker 1>to the Give Them La La podcast. I'm podcasting today

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<v Speaker 1>from the Graduate Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee. In this fabulous bed,

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<v Speaker 1>Dolly Parton's photo painting picture is hanging above me. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>feeling all the fabulous vibes. I feel like it's the

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<v Speaker 1>perfect person to be hanging above my head because she

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<v Speaker 1>has amazing boobs. And when I get home from tour,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting my boobs done just to celebrate the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm a national best seller, the fact that I

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<v Speaker 1>completed my first podcast tour. So she's giving me great

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<v Speaker 1>tig old bitty vibe. Dolly Parton's a bad bitch. She

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<v Speaker 1>is a bad bitch. She's amazing, amazing. So we only

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<v Speaker 1>have two, no, three more shows left, one tonight in

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<v Speaker 1>Nashville in Yes, but by the time this airs, we

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<v Speaker 1>will have completed Nashville. Yes, we will have completed New

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<v Speaker 1>Orleans and we will have we'll be waiting on Houston, Texas.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling so far?

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<v Speaker 2>Like right now at this moment, we haven't done Nashville,

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<v Speaker 2>so I think we have five shows done.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling? It's such a weird feeling because

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<v Speaker 1>like for me, and I say this in my shows,

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<v Speaker 1>because it is surreal, Like when I go on stage

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone's showing me all the love in the world

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<v Speaker 1>and just people who have supported me for so long,

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<v Speaker 1>I go into the zone of like why because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't recognize the fact, Like when people come up to

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<v Speaker 1>me and they're like, I love you, thank you for

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<v Speaker 1>sharing your story. It's still a bit surreal to me

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<v Speaker 1>because I just feel like I'm talking on this microphone

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<v Speaker 1>and like I don't know where this is going. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know who's listening to it, you know, like I

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<v Speaker 1>pop up on TV, but I don't know who's watching.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it just hasn't yet hit me that, like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>people know who I am and what I'm going through.

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<v Speaker 1>Does that make sense? No, it does make sense.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's been really cool to watch you meet these

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<v Speaker 2>people on this tour, these people who watch and support

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<v Speaker 2>you and talk to them because you do. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>you have a couple VIP things where you talk to

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<v Speaker 2>some kind of like in an intimate setting and then

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<v Speaker 2>you go into the meet and greet.

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<v Speaker 1>And then the show.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's been really neat to watch you meet these

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<v Speaker 2>people who support you and love you.

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<v Speaker 1>And how do you feel about that?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I know that was one of your main goals

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<v Speaker 2>on this tour was you were like, I literally just

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<v Speaker 2>want to meet these people who have been supporting me

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<v Speaker 2>for so long.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels amazing. Like there was one woman who came

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<v Speaker 1>to a show and her her mom had passed away

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<v Speaker 1>and she was just going through it and that's my

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<v Speaker 1>time to like really connect with my people in person.

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<v Speaker 1>Another girl said I inspired her to get sober and

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<v Speaker 1>she's thirteen months sober and she brought her AA book

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<v Speaker 1>and had me sign it and like, I wrote a note,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just, you know, that's when you remember what

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<v Speaker 1>this life is about.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not about all of the things that are portrayed

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<v Speaker 1>on Instagram. It's not about all these things that we

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<v Speaker 1>watch on TV, whether it's vander Pump Rules, Housewives, Keeping

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<v Speaker 1>Up with the or the Kardashians. It's about those moments

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<v Speaker 1>where we can connect and get real and get vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the meet and greets that we're doing because

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<v Speaker 1>the people that I get to connect within the meet

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<v Speaker 1>and greets, those people get to see, like Lauren from Utah,

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<v Speaker 1>like my truest self where I'm not trying to entertain you,

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<v Speaker 1>not trying to perform. I'm just like a bitch trying

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<v Speaker 1>to connect. I like those moments. I've heard a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>It's funny because you like listen and you hear a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of the things because.

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<v Speaker 1>You're in it. But I'm sort of off to the side.

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<v Speaker 2>So after people meet you, I can they walk away

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<v Speaker 2>and I can kind of hear what they say, and

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<v Speaker 2>I hear a lot of she's so nice, and I

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<v Speaker 2>hear a lot of she's so tiny, ok, And it's

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<v Speaker 2>so cute.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think people are you are nice?

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<v Speaker 2>That was my first You're sweet and real, and that

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<v Speaker 2>was my first thought when I interviewed with you.

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<v Speaker 1>I went into that interview and I was.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, Okay, Jessica, just like she's a bad bitch, so

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<v Speaker 2>she's probably gonna be mean, and it's okay, don't take

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<v Speaker 2>it personally.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I walked out of my interview with you,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm was like, what was that.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like the nicest woman I've ever met, And I

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<v Speaker 2>think a lot of people are not. They know you're nice,

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<v Speaker 2>but I think you because it's an energy. You can't

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<v Speaker 2>feel the energy until you're in front of people. I agree,

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<v Speaker 2>and they feel the kind energy and it's like game

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<v Speaker 2>changer and I love watching it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really cool. I just love meeting meeting all of

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<v Speaker 1>you guys. I mean the fact, like so many people

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<v Speaker 1>have been like I listened to your podcast every week,

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<v Speaker 1>and no one's forcing them to do that. Yeah, no

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<v Speaker 1>one's forcing them to buy give them La la products.

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<v Speaker 1>Like they're doing that because they mess with me. They

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<v Speaker 1>like me, I have great products you do. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>so sweet. It is sweet. So I always feel the

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<v Speaker 1>need the second I step on the stage and it's

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<v Speaker 1>still even five shows in, Like I get on stage

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<v Speaker 1>and I have to take a moment, and I have

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<v Speaker 1>to announce to the crowd that I need to take

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<v Speaker 1>a moment because it is very overwhelming.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, to see all those people and hear them, and.

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<v Speaker 1>When you have a group of people who owe you

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<v Speaker 1>fucking nothing. Yeah, they don't know me from Adam, Yeah right,

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<v Speaker 1>they know me because of what they've seen and they've

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<v Speaker 1>gathered and there's like a glimpse of like, oh I

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<v Speaker 1>relate to her in this way or we're bonded in

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<v Speaker 1>this way. But like they're coming and showing up obviously

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<v Speaker 1>because they want to have a great night out. But

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<v Speaker 1>we're in Nashville Tennis right now. There's a million things

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<v Speaker 1>they could be going to entertain themselves with. And they

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<v Speaker 1>chose me, and I've chosen them, and you've chosen them.

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<v Speaker 2>It's really great. This has been a lot of fun.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't wait for the rest of the shows. I

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<v Speaker 2>think Nashville will be fun.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a really fun guest for New Orleans. Oh yes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a freaking epic guest. And then in Texas

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<v Speaker 1>my guest is I'll just tell you, guys, my best

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<v Speaker 1>friend since childhood. We've been friends for thirty one years

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<v Speaker 1>and she's just a brilliant, beautiful spirit. A lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people know her as the hot girl from Grown Ups,

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<v Speaker 1>the Adam Sanmer movies. She had like a seven page

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<v Speaker 1>spread in Maxim magazine. I always looked up to her.

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<v Speaker 1>I still look up to her. She's my soulmate. And

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<v Speaker 1>so as we wrap up the tour, I need a

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<v Speaker 1>piece of home to wrap it up with.

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<v Speaker 2>And you guys are like, say, well, you guys are sisters.

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<v Speaker 2>When I first met her and saw you two together,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, oh, these are like sisters. What

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<v Speaker 2>is her Instagram handle so people who are going to

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<v Speaker 2>those shows could check her out.

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<v Speaker 1>She's awesome, you guys said, awesome. It's I'm Madison, but

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<v Speaker 1>she spells it like medicine, so I'm Medicine. I am Madison,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's like medicine, so it's I am M A

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<v Speaker 1>D I C I N my little brilliant superstar.

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<v Speaker 2>She's great and talk about energy, you guys, you're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>feel it when she's on stage with Laala, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be really sweet to see their connection for you

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<v Speaker 2>guys to see their connection. And also the games since

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<v Speaker 2>you guys have known each other for so long. I

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<v Speaker 2>think the games are going to be fun.

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<v Speaker 1>The games will be fun because I want to bring

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<v Speaker 1>other like best friends up and see who knows their

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<v Speaker 1>best friend best. Yes, I just the tour, even though

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<v Speaker 1>like it seems like a short period of time, when

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<v Speaker 1>you have a child that's at home, it becomes the longest,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Like I FaceTime with her every day she's

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<v Speaker 1>at home with my mom. There were too many back

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<v Speaker 1>to back cities. I selfishly wanted to bring her, but

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<v Speaker 1>I just and it's so funny because when I tell

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<v Speaker 1>moms that they're like you don't want to mess your

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<v Speaker 1>schedule up. I get it. Oh, all of the moms

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<v Speaker 1>are like, I don't blame you. It's so funny. Wait,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even think of that. Well, the three hour

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<v Speaker 1>difference even from La to Florida was like, oh my gosh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so tired. Yeah. So, so she's home with Gig.

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<v Speaker 1>She's home with Gig, they're having the best time. I

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<v Speaker 1>just I miss her terribly. How did you feel yesterday?

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<v Speaker 2>Because yesterday was Mother's Day and I thought that might

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<v Speaker 2>be a really hard day for you, but surprisingly to me,

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<v Speaker 2>you were very positive and you face timed them and like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I know Ocean and your mom sent you

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<v Speaker 2>flowers and we got you donut. So I think it

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<v Speaker 2>was I was like pleasantly surprised because it was like

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<v Speaker 2>a sweet day.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a sweet day. Yeah, like my mom said,

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<v Speaker 1>like for us, it's always me my mom in Ocean,

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<v Speaker 1>so like it's really Mother's Day every single day for us.

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<v Speaker 1>And like my mom said, when you get home, we

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<v Speaker 1>can celebrate Mother's Day. Like just because it's that day

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean like we can't still celebrate it. Yes, So

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<v Speaker 1>I was okay with it, and you know, I'm out

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<v Speaker 1>here and I have to work. Yeah, that's just what

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<v Speaker 1>it is. Yep, And I'm okay with that. Yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a working single mama slaying the damn game. I have

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<v Speaker 1>an appreciation for all mothers, but I had to give

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<v Speaker 1>a shout out to my single moms because you know

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<v Speaker 1>that shit's not easy. Yeah, they deserve a lot of recognition.

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<v Speaker 1>All the mamas do. Yesterday was a really sweet day

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<v Speaker 1>anyone who's fulfilling the role of a mother. So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>excited for today's podcast episode, I interviewed and talked to

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<v Speaker 1>Leah McSweeney, who is a breath of fresh air on

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<v Speaker 1>the Real Housewives of New York. We deep dive into

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<v Speaker 1>her book, Being a Mom, her sobriety Journey, which is

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<v Speaker 1>always I love talking about sobriety. It's one of my

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<v Speaker 1>most favorite topics. And by the way, you guys, I

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<v Speaker 1>have gotten a lot of messages being like, can you

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<v Speaker 1>please redo the episode of you talking about sobriety because

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<v Speaker 1>he whose name we shall not mention this is there,

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<v Speaker 1>these are their words, not mine, is so annoying. We

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<v Speaker 1>cannot listen to his voice. He constantly cuts you off,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's torture so please redo it because we will

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<v Speaker 1>not go back and listen to that episode if he's

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<v Speaker 1>on it. And I snapped my fingers and said, you

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<v Speaker 1>tell a lot, bitch, So I'm gonna redo one of

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<v Speaker 1>those episodes, that type of episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, that's great because we've gotten multiple dms about

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<v Speaker 2>that and they're like, I really it helps me, but

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to listen to it right now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, so their words not mine. Just I know.

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<v Speaker 2>I took screenshots and one day we can read them

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<v Speaker 2>all because they're kind of funny.

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<v Speaker 1>They're amazing, They're great. You guys are hilarious. That's another thing.

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<v Speaker 2>You're Your crew is wild, like you guys get Buck wild,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're fun and you're positive and like I just

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<v Speaker 2>it's been great.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>This tour has been amazing too, because I was worried

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<v Speaker 1>coming out. I mean, we did an episode where I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, stop asking me about this topic. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to talk about it. So I've literally I've been going, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a lie. There was literally one person during the

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<v Speaker 1>Q and A who asked about that person. The entire

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<v Speaker 1>crowd booed them, yelled profanities. Yeah, and she literally just

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<v Speaker 1>sat down. I felt so bad. Yeah, but that was

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<v Speaker 1>the one and only time, and I think it was too.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it was a girl who brought her mom,

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<v Speaker 2>and the girl was like a big give the Mola fan,

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<v Speaker 2>and her mom was new but like was maybe a

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<v Speaker 2>little less and when she asked that and everybody booed,

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<v Speaker 2>she just like shrugged and she's like, I don't know,

0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:07.600
<v Speaker 2>like she like didn't realize, like no, no, no, that's

0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.520
<v Speaker 2>another place, ass I mean.

0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:09.840
<v Speaker 3>It's you.

0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.240
<v Speaker 1>We're in a room full of like give them a lot,

0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:17.320
<v Speaker 1>like this is the squad. Yeah, mm hmm. It was

0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:21.080
<v Speaker 1>really amazing, really sad for her, I know, but the

0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:24.880
<v Speaker 1>room went buck wild with booze and like a lot

0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.160
<v Speaker 1>of funny statements.

0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:27.600
<v Speaker 3>It was.

0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:29.079
<v Speaker 1>It was funny.

0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.760
<v Speaker 2>But all in all, the questions they've been asking, the

0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.040
<v Speaker 2>questions you guys have been asking, were great.

0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:34.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:37.480
<v Speaker 2>I miss sprinting through that crowd with that mic, going

0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:39.560
<v Speaker 2>to each and every I'm trying to get as many

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.800
<v Speaker 2>people as I can, I swear, So that's another thing.

0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing what I can with that mic. And if

0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:49.400
<v Speaker 2>I miss you, I'm sorry, that's okay. We're doing what

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.040
<v Speaker 2>we can, doing what we can.

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.240
<v Speaker 1>So we'll cut to a short break, and when we

0:12:53.280 --> 0:13:01.559
<v Speaker 1>come back, we have the epic Leah McSweeney. Welcome back,

0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:04.199
<v Speaker 1>my love. We have someone who I've been wanting to

0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.040
<v Speaker 1>get on the podcast for a really long time, and

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:09.680
<v Speaker 1>you guys have literally been harassing me daily to have

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.040
<v Speaker 1>Leah McSweeney on, and she's here.

0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 3>Hi, babe, I'm so happy to be here. I feel

0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:19.040
<v Speaker 3>like me and you like would get into trouble together

0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.520
<v Speaker 3>if we hung out, I mean the good trouble.

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, we would get into trouble together. I felt like

0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.960
<v Speaker 1>the second you stepped on to Real Housewives of New York,

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.600
<v Speaker 1>you were my spirit animal and you were everything that

0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:32.360
<v Speaker 1>so many of us were begging for.

0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:33.559
<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.440
<v Speaker 1>You're obviously a business woman, You're like no stranger to

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:41.319
<v Speaker 1>being a hustler. But was it strange having cameras watch

0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:44.600
<v Speaker 1>your every move because it seems very organic for you,

0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:47.480
<v Speaker 1>like you almost watching you. It's like the cameras aren't

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 1>even there.

0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:53.199
<v Speaker 3>I felt pretty like I felt pretty like like comfortable

0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:54.320
<v Speaker 3>in front of the cameras.

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.679
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you looked like it. And by the way,

0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.120
<v Speaker 1>I have to say, your mom and dad are my

0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:00.760
<v Speaker 1>most favorite human on the planet.

0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:04.839
<v Speaker 3>What God, Thank you they're right. They're good.

0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:07.079
<v Speaker 1>Good. I'm so happy to hear that they're good because

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.600
<v Speaker 1>they give me all the life in the world. You

0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:10.600
<v Speaker 1>need your own show.

0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:12.160
<v Speaker 3>They love being on camera.

0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh well, we love we love seeing them. So let's

0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.960
<v Speaker 1>deep dive into First of all, you are now a

0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 1>published author of Chaos Theory. Love the name, Love the cover.

0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:26.680
<v Speaker 1>You look HoTT as fuck.

0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.480
<v Speaker 3>It took photo shoots to get to that picture, but

0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:30.640
<v Speaker 3>it was worth it.

0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 1>It is worth it, right of course. Yeah, because we're

0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 1>taught to never judge a book by its cover, but

0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.600
<v Speaker 1>like I actively judge a book by its cover.

0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.680
<v Speaker 3>Yes, and yes, we literally you do judge books by

0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:46.040
<v Speaker 3>their cover, and the cover is very important. The cover

0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:49.040
<v Speaker 3>is like most stressful fucking part about it. Are you

0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:49.560
<v Speaker 3>kidding me?

0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:53.720
<v Speaker 1>You know? I do know? And how? And the writing?

0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>Did you find the writing process to be therapeutic?

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god? It was like more like I swear

0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:02.520
<v Speaker 3>I I'm back in therapy now because of the book,

0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:06.000
<v Speaker 3>Like because I had to rehash and think about it,

0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.120
<v Speaker 3>and I'm like, wow, I went through all the shining

0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:11.280
<v Speaker 3>to get back to therapy. I actually like recommitted to sobriety.

0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.840
<v Speaker 3>I like stopped smoking weed. Because when I wrote the book,

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:17.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like Callie sober, and now I'm like not anymore.

0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:21.400
<v Speaker 3>I'm fully like back in AA like a lot like

0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:23.680
<v Speaker 3>not to be talking about it well or whatever. But

0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:29.040
<v Speaker 3>so it was very therapeutic because it kind of brought

0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:31.680
<v Speaker 3>me to another level of like knowing myself.

0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:35.000
<v Speaker 1>Right, No, I can imagine. I mean I went through

0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.160
<v Speaker 1>the same thing, and I love that you're you're in

0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.000
<v Speaker 1>the program. And I feel like a lot of old

0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.280
<v Speaker 1>timer members of the program are like, we don't talk

0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 1>about it, and I'm like, we're from a generation of

0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.760
<v Speaker 1>like we have to talk about it because it's keeping

0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:54.560
<v Speaker 1>me sober. And I feel like if I have a

0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:57.920
<v Speaker 1>little piece of like the puzzle, the Sober Puzzle, like

0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.520
<v Speaker 1>I have to share it. I'm not going to tell

0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:01.360
<v Speaker 1>people you're in it.

0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 3>But I know I remember reading like you said that

0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 3>in a quote. I was like, yes, La, La, like

0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.720
<v Speaker 3>tell those old timers what's up? You know. I agree.

0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.360
<v Speaker 3>It's like, well, when people are like, so how do

0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.240
<v Speaker 3>you stay sober? What am I supposed to say? Like,

0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.000
<v Speaker 3>because it's AA, it's the program, so like what am

0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:19.880
<v Speaker 3>I Like? What am I gonna lie and say? Like

0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.560
<v Speaker 3>I just you know, pray and that's it. I mean,

0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:24.160
<v Speaker 3>what am I going to say? Like, I have to

0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 3>say that I'm in the program and as twelve step program.

0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:28.640
<v Speaker 1>I agree with you, and I think it's really hard

0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:31.600
<v Speaker 1>to stay sober if you're not in a program holding

0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.440
<v Speaker 1>you accountable and doing all of those things.

0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:38.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, like because I stopped going and then started drinking again,

0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.000
<v Speaker 3>so I know I tried it. I mean, I've tried

0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.400
<v Speaker 3>to do it without the program. It's actually very hard

0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:48.720
<v Speaker 3>to be It's it's easier to like be It's it's

0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:53.520
<v Speaker 3>not as painful to be drunk than to be sober

0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.720
<v Speaker 3>and not in the program, because like not drinking and

0:16:56.800 --> 0:16:59.040
<v Speaker 3>not being in the program and just being dry is

0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:00.320
<v Speaker 3>like perific.

0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:02.760
<v Speaker 1>It is horrific. I've been around dry people and there

0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.639
<v Speaker 1>are many moments that I've acted dry and I'm like,

0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:09.400
<v Speaker 1>time to get your ass into a meeting. But it's

0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:13.760
<v Speaker 1>hard being like because let's be honest, it's not like

0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.560
<v Speaker 1>you and I are a part of a scripted series

0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.320
<v Speaker 1>where a creator a character is created for us, like

0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 1>we have to be ourselves. But it's hard for me

0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:29.159
<v Speaker 1>at times to implement these twelve steps when I know

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.400
<v Speaker 1>what my living entails and what I have to do

0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:33.560
<v Speaker 1>to like, you.

0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:37.040
<v Speaker 3>Know, because the twelve steps are like the opposite. Like

0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:40.040
<v Speaker 3>I just did my fourth step and it was I'm like, wait,

0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:44.120
<v Speaker 3>how am I gonna implement these twelve steps and be

0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:47.879
<v Speaker 3>and do what I do? Because it involves like being

0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:52.840
<v Speaker 3>calling people out and being petty sometimes and like going

0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:55.119
<v Speaker 3>off and speaking your mind no matter if it's going

0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:58.240
<v Speaker 3>to annoy somebody, because we're here to entertain, right. So

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.880
<v Speaker 3>it's interesting. I mean, you know, yeah, it's like anundrum.

0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.000
<v Speaker 1>It really is. And I love that you're on the

0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.280
<v Speaker 1>fourth step because I literally had to go back to

0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:10.159
<v Speaker 1>the fourth step and I told my sponsor. I was like,

0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.800
<v Speaker 1>this is going to take a while, just so you know,

0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:16.359
<v Speaker 1>this is a process. Okay, so you sit down, you

0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:20.280
<v Speaker 1>decide to write this book. Were there things that you said,

0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.960
<v Speaker 1>this is going to be off limits, I'm not discussing it.

0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:25.479
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there was definitely a couple of things that I

0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.840
<v Speaker 3>did not I knew right away I wasn't going to

0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:29.960
<v Speaker 3>talk about. And then there were things that I put

0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:34.320
<v Speaker 3>in the first draft that my editor was like, hmmm, like, yeah,

0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.080
<v Speaker 3>I don't think you should put this in there. And

0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:38.840
<v Speaker 3>I listened to her, you know, I needed this book

0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:44.000
<v Speaker 3>to be to show the other side of addiction, right

0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:47.879
<v Speaker 3>and like the growth, you know, and also whatever like

0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:51.600
<v Speaker 3>motherhood in my life. So there were war stories that

0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.080
<v Speaker 3>I think she was like, this doesn't need to be

0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:54.400
<v Speaker 3>in there.

0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:57.639
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there were moments that I like, I was in

0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:00.879
<v Speaker 1>the same boat. I wrote about certain things and my

0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:02.680
<v Speaker 1>editor would say, I don't think this is going to

0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:04.159
<v Speaker 1>hit the way you think it's going to hit, and

0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:07.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, we can't take that chance. Let's take that

0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:11.119
<v Speaker 1>shit out. So I also tried tried to listen, which

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:13.359
<v Speaker 1>if you're like me, it's very hard for people to

0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:15.080
<v Speaker 1>like penetrate this brain.

0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:18.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god. Same. I was like, what why is she? Like,

0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:20.520
<v Speaker 3>why does she think that she knows better than I do?

0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:22.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, oh, well, she kind of. And then I

0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.159
<v Speaker 3>realized she's protecting me, Like she's just protecting she is

0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:28.119
<v Speaker 3>my best interest in mind, you know, Like that's what

0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.840
<v Speaker 3>it is. It's nothing personal. She's looking out for me.

0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:34.560
<v Speaker 1>So how old were you when you had kir twenty four?

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:37.439
<v Speaker 1>Twenty four? Would you say? Because I think it depends

0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:40.320
<v Speaker 1>on where you come from. Like all of my friends

0:19:40.600 --> 0:19:43.800
<v Speaker 1>were like engaged at twenty popping out their first kid

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:46.800
<v Speaker 1>at twenty one. Did you feel like at twenty four

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 1>you were like young to have a baby.

0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:53.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, because in New York, that's young, you know what

0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:56.439
<v Speaker 3>I mean, Like, it's not like people were not like

0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:59.879
<v Speaker 3>my friend group was not they all were having abortion

0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:04.040
<v Speaker 3>and that they weren't having yet. I mean, honestly, you know,

0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:07.480
<v Speaker 3>like that totally like people were getting pregnant, but no

0:20:07.520 --> 0:20:09.199
<v Speaker 3>one was like, I want to have a kid, you know,

0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:11.879
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, oh my god, I'm But then

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.960
<v Speaker 3>it made sense and like, of course I had a

0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:16.840
<v Speaker 3>kid at twenty four, like unwed, you know, like I

0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:19.760
<v Speaker 3>kind of it kind of made sense. I was like, hmm, yeah,

0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:21.639
<v Speaker 3>but I definitely felt like how am I going to

0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:24.600
<v Speaker 3>do this? But I was also so young that I

0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:27.560
<v Speaker 3>was fearless at the same time. Yeah, like it was like,

0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.840
<v Speaker 3>you know, there was no inhibitions or however that saying

0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:32.120
<v Speaker 3>what is that word inhibition?

0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, inhibitions, release your inhibitions exactly.

0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:38.240
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I just went for it. I was like, Okay,

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 3>I'm pregnant, I'm doing this. And Rob was very supportive

0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.720
<v Speaker 3>and was very happy, and that made it obviously a

0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:44.920
<v Speaker 3>much different situation.

0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:46.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like it would be different if you

0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:49.560
<v Speaker 1>had like an epic co parent, right, yeah.

0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 3>I mean, but some saying and Rob was like, oh damn,

0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:53.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, like how are we going to do this?

0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:55.200
<v Speaker 3>Then I would have been like, you're right, I don't

0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:56.960
<v Speaker 3>know how we're going to do this. But he was

0:20:57.000 --> 0:21:00.119
<v Speaker 3>like very excited and very like we got this, s

0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:02.119
<v Speaker 3>don't worry. So I was like, Okay, that put me

0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:02.520
<v Speaker 3>at ease.

0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:05.480
<v Speaker 1>What's the age difference between you and Rob? All of

0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:10.240
<v Speaker 1>yours twelve years? So at that point in time, did

0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:13.439
<v Speaker 1>he have like his career and you knew you were

0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:15.879
<v Speaker 1>in a safe place to bring a baby into you.

0:21:15.920 --> 0:21:17.360
<v Speaker 3>Mean like financially stable.

0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's what I mean.

0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.719
<v Speaker 3>You know what at that point I was making I

0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:26.639
<v Speaker 3>actually the next year once I had here, I like

0:21:26.760 --> 0:21:30.840
<v Speaker 3>got like my business became like very lucrative and I

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:33.639
<v Speaker 3>was making more money than him. So that kind of

0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:37.160
<v Speaker 3>like fucked with our relationship also because I don't know,

0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:39.200
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to make more money than my man.

0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:42.760
<v Speaker 1>I kind of do. I don't really wait why.

0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:45.159
<v Speaker 3>I wanted to say making the same amount. Because the

0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:48.800
<v Speaker 3>guys can't deal with it. They say they can, they cannot.

0:21:48.800 --> 0:21:52.639
<v Speaker 3>It hurts their fucking ego then they get insecure and

0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.120
<v Speaker 3>then they get resentful. So it's almost like they need

0:21:55.160 --> 0:21:57.840
<v Speaker 3>to make more. And I know that sounds very backwards,

0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 3>and there's a lot of there's a lot of relationships

0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 3>where it does work and the woman is the breadwinner.

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:05.639
<v Speaker 3>And of course it's twenty twenty two. But me personally,

0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.840
<v Speaker 3>I want I mean, look, I haven't even been dating,

0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:11.320
<v Speaker 3>so you know, I mean, I'd probably take anything at

0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.480
<v Speaker 3>this point, but but I think long term, I would

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.720
<v Speaker 3>want the guy to make more money than me, you know,

0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:19.440
<v Speaker 3>unless I like start making an insane amount of money.

0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.240
<v Speaker 1>But it's New York, you know what you're You're right.

0:22:22.320 --> 0:22:24.400
<v Speaker 1>If we're talking about my bank account now, then yeah,

0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.200
<v Speaker 1>he's got to be making more money than me, otherwise

0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:28.240
<v Speaker 1>we may be in deep shit.

0:22:28.480 --> 0:22:30.440
<v Speaker 3>We don't want to. We don't want to. Yeah, we

0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:34.400
<v Speaker 3>know I need, Like I've been paying my own damn

0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:35.160
<v Speaker 3>rent for too long.

0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:40.200
<v Speaker 1>Ready, right, And so you've had married to the mob

0:22:40.320 --> 0:22:41.400
<v Speaker 1>since you were twenty five.

0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:43.120
<v Speaker 3>I've had it since I was twenty two.

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Twenty fucking two. You are so badass, thank you? And

0:22:47.600 --> 0:22:50.040
<v Speaker 1>what made you start it? Like was it that you

0:22:50.119 --> 0:22:54.600
<v Speaker 1>were just extremely passionate about like streetwear or was it

0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:57.639
<v Speaker 1>you wanted to have a business and that was just

0:22:58.040 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 1>the direction you were pulled in.

0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:02.640
<v Speaker 3>Honestly, I think it was fate and like the universe

0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:05.480
<v Speaker 3>and like just I mean, of course, I was totally

0:23:05.520 --> 0:23:08.280
<v Speaker 3>into fashion. I was into streetwear. I was you know,

0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:10.680
<v Speaker 3>Rob had a life. I was hanging out with like

0:23:10.760 --> 0:23:13.560
<v Speaker 3>all our friends, and it was all dudes that had

0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:16.080
<v Speaker 3>their own brands. And I'm like, these guys are making

0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:19.240
<v Speaker 3>they have these brands. It's not like rocket Science. They're

0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:21.760
<v Speaker 3>making T shirts and sweatshirts and some one off little

0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:24.679
<v Speaker 3>items like I can do this, but I'll do it

0:23:24.720 --> 0:23:28.240
<v Speaker 3>like with my perspective on the streetwear world that's very

0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:31.400
<v Speaker 3>male dominated. And it really just started with like four

0:23:31.480 --> 0:23:36.720
<v Speaker 3>T shirts and I didn't have any expectations. I was

0:23:36.800 --> 0:23:39.159
<v Speaker 3>just having fun at first. And I really this is

0:23:39.160 --> 0:23:41.400
<v Speaker 3>why I really did it, because the guys were getting

0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:43.840
<v Speaker 3>free trips all over the world, and I was like,

0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:46.000
<v Speaker 3>I want to travel for free. I want someone to

0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.479
<v Speaker 3>pay for my fucking airfare to go to Japan or

0:23:48.520 --> 0:23:50.760
<v Speaker 3>like Germany or whatever, because these guys are all getting

0:23:50.760 --> 0:23:52.840
<v Speaker 3>free trips and I love traveling.

0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:55.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. It just made Married to the mob

0:23:55.920 --> 0:23:58.399
<v Speaker 1>an even cooler. Story that you started because you were like,

0:23:58.400 --> 0:24:00.040
<v Speaker 1>I just want to fucking travel for free by.

0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:02.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I got a lot of free trips. This

0:24:03.080 --> 0:24:03.480
<v Speaker 3>is great.

0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So tell me the moment that fucking Rihanna posted. Okay,

0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:13.320
<v Speaker 1>can I just tell you When I see anybody who's

0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:16.880
<v Speaker 1>at the level of Rihanna and they're repping something by

0:24:16.920 --> 0:24:19.760
<v Speaker 1>a Bravo LB, I don't know why I take that

0:24:19.800 --> 0:24:23.639
<v Speaker 1>as a win for myself as well, because I'm like, yes, bitch.

0:24:23.760 --> 0:24:26.680
<v Speaker 1>But when I saw that, I was like, we've all

0:24:26.720 --> 0:24:28.639
<v Speaker 1>fucking made it. I love that.

0:24:29.320 --> 0:24:31.960
<v Speaker 3>I love that it's a sisterhood. I wish other people,

0:24:32.640 --> 0:24:36.240
<v Speaker 3>other people. I wished other women on the network would

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:36.840
<v Speaker 3>think like that.

0:24:37.119 --> 0:24:42.920
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I died. Okay, So for the listeners, if

0:24:42.920 --> 0:24:45.040
<v Speaker 1>you've been living under rock, that's my saying. If like

0:24:45.080 --> 0:24:48.280
<v Speaker 1>you don't know what's going on. Rihanna posted she had

0:24:48.320 --> 0:24:50.760
<v Speaker 1>like the cute bucket hat on with the sunglasses, and

0:24:50.800 --> 0:24:54.199
<v Speaker 1>then she had a T shirt that said MTTM.

0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:57.040
<v Speaker 3>It said bitch mom, but it was my shirt.

0:24:57.080 --> 0:24:59.439
<v Speaker 1>Oh and then a bitch Okay, so then it was

0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:02.200
<v Speaker 1>tagged married to the mob was tag though, and you.

0:25:02.680 --> 0:25:05.800
<v Speaker 3>Yes, And she also if you didn't notice her manicure

0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:11.320
<v Speaker 3>matched the graphic, which is like mind blowing to me.

0:25:11.440 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, did she do that on purpose? Or she

0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:15.320
<v Speaker 3>had that manicure and then put it on like how

0:25:15.400 --> 0:25:18.400
<v Speaker 3>Like she's epic. She's just the most epic bitch.

0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:21.800
<v Speaker 1>I was so on fire for you when that happened,

0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:25.399
<v Speaker 1>Like that's got to be surreal. Like I'm telling you,

0:25:25.440 --> 0:25:28.400
<v Speaker 1>if Rihanna was just like walking around with Laala's face

0:25:28.480 --> 0:25:30.879
<v Speaker 1>on her, I'd be like, you can't fuck with me.

0:25:31.040 --> 0:25:32.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm literally untouchable. Now.

0:25:32.840 --> 0:25:36.080
<v Speaker 3>It was incredible, Like it really was, because you know,

0:25:36.160 --> 0:25:40.080
<v Speaker 3>not only was she like I'm team Leah, she was

0:25:40.119 --> 0:25:42.400
<v Speaker 3>also like co signing my brand, you know, and she's

0:25:42.440 --> 0:25:44.960
<v Speaker 3>more in the brand before, you know, but for her

0:25:45.040 --> 0:25:48.639
<v Speaker 3>to put it and plug it on total Instagram, obviously,

0:25:48.760 --> 0:25:52.480
<v Speaker 3>sales were crazy that day, that whole you know week.

0:25:52.600 --> 0:25:57.280
<v Speaker 3>But she's just she's the best.

0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:03.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I'm a part of the Bravo network, but

0:26:03.760 --> 0:26:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm also an uber fan. I watch every single Real

0:26:08.280 --> 0:26:14.679
<v Speaker 1>Housewives franchise ever and obviously when you stepped on it

0:26:14.760 --> 0:26:17.160
<v Speaker 1>was like a breath of fresh air. Now we're sitting

0:26:17.240 --> 0:26:19.720
<v Speaker 1>here with our thumbs up, our asses being like where

0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:22.800
<v Speaker 1>we at y'all, Like, I need it for my soul.

0:26:23.160 --> 0:26:24.960
<v Speaker 1>I know, do we know anything?

0:26:25.400 --> 0:26:29.639
<v Speaker 3>Not? Really? Yeah, I mean it's a bummer, but I

0:26:29.680 --> 0:26:34.080
<v Speaker 3>think the two, like Rony's is kind of cool. I

0:26:34.080 --> 0:26:38.000
<v Speaker 3>think it's a good idea. I personally have no idea

0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:40.600
<v Speaker 3>which show all be on, Like, I kind of want

0:26:40.600 --> 0:26:42.719
<v Speaker 3>to be on Legacy because I want to be Like

0:26:42.760 --> 0:26:45.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm assuming Diirinda will be on. I'm assuming, you know,

0:26:45.960 --> 0:26:49.800
<v Speaker 3>I want to be with Diirinda Tinsley. Maybe they'll make

0:26:49.880 --> 0:26:53.520
<v Speaker 3>up at some point, I'm not I'm not saying I

0:26:53.560 --> 0:26:54.679
<v Speaker 3>know that they're going to be on the show. I

0:26:54.680 --> 0:26:57.439
<v Speaker 3>don't even know what the format is or anything. But

0:26:58.520 --> 0:27:00.480
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I don't know anything, really.

0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:05.160
<v Speaker 1>Don't I I want you and Tinsley back on my television. Yes,

0:27:05.280 --> 0:27:08.320
<v Speaker 1>I want Tinsley to make up with Derinda, but it

0:27:08.359 --> 0:27:10.920
<v Speaker 1>also makes for great TV that they're at each other's throats.

0:27:11.200 --> 0:27:11.600
<v Speaker 3>True.

0:27:11.840 --> 0:27:14.280
<v Speaker 1>See, I can watch from like a viewer standpoint and

0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:16.480
<v Speaker 1>also like being a part of it. And by the way, like,

0:27:16.520 --> 0:27:18.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't even know what's happening with vander Pump. I'm

0:27:18.680 --> 0:27:21.840
<v Speaker 1>sitting here twiddling my thumbs being like, what are we doing?

0:27:21.880 --> 0:27:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Where are we at?

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:23.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:27:23.560 --> 0:27:25.920
<v Speaker 1>So that's just how I feel. I want you guys back.

0:27:26.160 --> 0:27:28.840
<v Speaker 3>I feel like all the people that they like threw

0:27:28.880 --> 0:27:32.840
<v Speaker 3>off need to come back or like need a new

0:27:33.080 --> 0:27:35.840
<v Speaker 3>you guys all need a new show together or something like.

0:27:36.640 --> 0:27:40.680
<v Speaker 1>I just want you like when you first ventured onto

0:27:40.760 --> 0:27:43.280
<v Speaker 1>the scene, Like I want that cast back.

0:27:43.640 --> 0:27:44.919
<v Speaker 3>I know that was a good season.

0:27:45.080 --> 0:27:48.560
<v Speaker 1>That was fun, it was a great season. So let's

0:27:48.640 --> 0:27:52.119
<v Speaker 1>venture back into your book because I'm super super hyped

0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:55.600
<v Speaker 1>for you, and being a published author is like it's

0:27:55.680 --> 0:27:58.439
<v Speaker 1>no joke and it's pretty huge. And you said that

0:27:58.560 --> 0:28:03.359
<v Speaker 1>you talk about being a mom in your book. Where

0:28:03.400 --> 0:28:06.200
<v Speaker 1>were you as far as like, because I know you've

0:28:06.200 --> 0:28:09.919
<v Speaker 1>struggled with drugs and alcohol, I completely relate to that.

0:28:10.280 --> 0:28:13.399
<v Speaker 1>Where were you in life when kir was born?

0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:18.360
<v Speaker 3>So I was. I had definitely stopped doing like super

0:28:18.400 --> 0:28:22.119
<v Speaker 3>hard drugs, you know, because I figured, like it's going

0:28:22.200 --> 0:28:24.440
<v Speaker 3>to kill me. But I was like drinking a lot.

0:28:24.560 --> 0:28:28.760
<v Speaker 3>I was definitely doing like blow and taking pills, and

0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:31.360
<v Speaker 3>you know, for me, that was like not not hardcore,

0:28:33.000 --> 0:28:35.280
<v Speaker 3>and I was partying. I was just at the club

0:28:35.320 --> 0:28:37.720
<v Speaker 3>every night, like I was still doing Mob, but Mob

0:28:37.880 --> 0:28:40.160
<v Speaker 3>was like so new and I was making it work

0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:41.520
<v Speaker 3>for me. I could, you know, go to sleep at

0:28:41.600 --> 0:28:43.480
<v Speaker 3>six am or four am and wake up at eleven

0:28:43.600 --> 0:28:45.360
<v Speaker 3>or new and do my emails and do my work

0:28:45.440 --> 0:28:50.320
<v Speaker 3>or whatever. So I was definitely like in the midst

0:28:50.400 --> 0:28:53.840
<v Speaker 3>of being a party girl. And then I got pregnant,

0:28:53.960 --> 0:28:55.720
<v Speaker 3>and then it was really easy for me to not

0:28:55.840 --> 0:28:58.560
<v Speaker 3>drink during my pregnancy. I don't know why. I just

0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:01.080
<v Speaker 3>like felt like those hormones were so good for me.

0:29:01.240 --> 0:29:03.800
<v Speaker 3>Like I felt great being pregnant, and it was one

0:29:03.840 --> 0:29:05.800
<v Speaker 3>of the happiest times in my life, like me and

0:29:05.880 --> 0:29:09.560
<v Speaker 3>Rob were getting along, and I don't know, I felt

0:29:09.560 --> 0:29:13.960
<v Speaker 3>so purposeful and like I had something to plan for

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:16.320
<v Speaker 3>and like, I don't know, had someone else to like

0:29:16.480 --> 0:29:18.880
<v Speaker 3>live for, you know. But then once I had her,

0:29:19.040 --> 0:29:24.480
<v Speaker 3>I had such depression. I had such postpartum.

0:29:24.160 --> 0:29:30.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, what does someone do? Because were you breastfeeding?

0:29:30.280 --> 0:29:31.760
<v Speaker 1>If you don't mind me asking.

0:29:31.760 --> 0:29:34.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was. I bressed that for like fifteen months

0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:35.120
<v Speaker 3>or something.

0:29:35.360 --> 0:29:39.520
<v Speaker 1>And did you feel like postpartum? Forgive me if I'm

0:29:39.560 --> 0:29:43.200
<v Speaker 1>like being stupid with this question, but I remember postpartum

0:29:43.240 --> 0:29:45.640
<v Speaker 1>being something and where you and I are pretty close

0:29:45.640 --> 0:29:48.080
<v Speaker 1>in age, I believe did you feel like you could

0:29:48.120 --> 0:29:48.880
<v Speaker 1>talk about it?

0:29:49.280 --> 0:29:52.400
<v Speaker 3>I felt like at that time, I felt so isolated,

0:29:52.840 --> 0:29:57.280
<v Speaker 3>like and I felt so like I didn't know what

0:29:57.320 --> 0:30:00.600
<v Speaker 3>I was doing. I had a newborn, I had my business.

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:03.440
<v Speaker 3>Me and Rob were fighting. I was like so mad

0:30:03.480 --> 0:30:05.600
<v Speaker 3>at him because he was like like going to spending

0:30:05.600 --> 0:30:07.200
<v Speaker 3>so much time at work. I felt like so much

0:30:07.280 --> 0:30:11.320
<v Speaker 3>was falling on me. And I didn't know actually at

0:30:11.360 --> 0:30:14.560
<v Speaker 3>the time about postpartum, Like I just thought I was

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:18.160
<v Speaker 3>needed to. I don't know, like I actually don't know.

0:30:18.200 --> 0:30:20.800
<v Speaker 3>I just I started drinking again, you know, I started.

0:30:21.120 --> 0:30:26.520
<v Speaker 3>I started drinking very soon after, and that's like when

0:30:26.560 --> 0:30:28.960
<v Speaker 3>it got really dark, and then I stopped drinking and

0:30:28.960 --> 0:30:31.520
<v Speaker 3>got sober when she was too, and didn't drink for

0:30:31.560 --> 0:30:32.560
<v Speaker 3>like almost a decade.

0:30:33.040 --> 0:30:36.640
<v Speaker 1>I remember that. I remember that you started you picked

0:30:36.720 --> 0:30:40.160
<v Speaker 1>up again on the season right before before.

0:30:41.120 --> 0:30:43.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was like trying to kind of stop because

0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:45.400
<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh my god, I'm on a reality show,

0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:48.000
<v Speaker 3>Like I can't be the train wreck, Like I like

0:30:48.080 --> 0:30:50.280
<v Speaker 3>this is my worst nightmare, Like I have to stop again.

0:30:50.840 --> 0:30:53.560
<v Speaker 3>But it was already too late. Like Pandora's box was open.

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:56.800
<v Speaker 3>I was not stopping again, and you know I had to,

0:30:56.920 --> 0:30:58.640
<v Speaker 3>like I couldn't close it.

0:30:58.840 --> 0:31:03.200
<v Speaker 1>Did you feel like you you had like conquered your alcoholism,

0:31:03.200 --> 0:31:05.760
<v Speaker 1>because I know a lot of times like we feel like, oh,

0:31:06.000 --> 0:31:08.040
<v Speaker 1>I've grown out of it, Like I don't even crave

0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:10.120
<v Speaker 1>it anymore, so I can have a drink. Did you

0:31:10.120 --> 0:31:11.239
<v Speaker 1>feel like that happened to you?

0:31:11.600 --> 0:31:13.720
<v Speaker 3>That's exactly how I felt. I was like, I'm in

0:31:13.720 --> 0:31:16.960
<v Speaker 3>a different place. I have all my shit together, I'm

0:31:17.000 --> 0:31:21.160
<v Speaker 3>emotionally mentally stable and feeling awesome, and I know that

0:31:21.240 --> 0:31:25.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm not gonna I really think I can drink regularly now.

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:28.680
<v Speaker 3>And that was such a fucking lie, Like that was

0:31:28.760 --> 0:31:32.160
<v Speaker 3>such a my brain playing tricks on me.

0:31:32.640 --> 0:31:35.600
<v Speaker 1>I love having this conversation with you, because you know,

0:31:35.800 --> 0:31:38.840
<v Speaker 1>I remember when I first got sober, I was in

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:43.080
<v Speaker 1>the rooms really often. You know, it was like I

0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:46.120
<v Speaker 1>was die hard for it. And then you know, you're

0:31:46.160 --> 0:31:48.959
<v Speaker 1>a year in, two years in, and you start pulling

0:31:49.000 --> 0:31:51.080
<v Speaker 1>back on the meetings, not because you feel like you

0:31:51.080 --> 0:31:54.400
<v Speaker 1>don't need them, but just life happens, and yeah, right,

0:31:54.880 --> 0:31:58.920
<v Speaker 1>And so when I can have conversations with other strong

0:31:58.960 --> 0:32:01.880
<v Speaker 1>women who have chosen in the path of sobriety, it

0:32:02.040 --> 0:32:04.960
<v Speaker 1>like it's taking a piece of the program and I'm

0:32:04.960 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 1>like implementing it into this podcast.

0:32:07.160 --> 0:32:10.120
<v Speaker 3>So having a meeting right now, like I.

0:32:10.080 --> 0:32:12.000
<v Speaker 1>Know, I love it.

0:32:12.000 --> 0:32:12.840
<v Speaker 3>It's so cool.

0:32:13.320 --> 0:32:16.920
<v Speaker 1>I have to say when and I know I can

0:32:16.960 --> 0:32:18.720
<v Speaker 1>say this to you. But when you guys were at

0:32:18.720 --> 0:32:22.120
<v Speaker 1>that like clambake or whatever and you started losing your shit.

0:32:25.840 --> 0:32:28.880
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, that was epic. That was like I

0:32:28.960 --> 0:32:33.320
<v Speaker 3>feel like, that's like me, Like I felt all those

0:32:33.360 --> 0:32:36.280
<v Speaker 3>things like this is the thing the alcohol, let me

0:32:36.400 --> 0:32:39.600
<v Speaker 3>do it right. That's how I wasn't drunk. I would

0:32:39.600 --> 0:32:41.800
<v Speaker 3>have been wanting to do all of that, but I

0:32:41.800 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't because my other brain, my brain is going, Nope,

0:32:45.000 --> 0:32:47.720
<v Speaker 3>you can't do that because there's rules and we're civilized

0:32:47.760 --> 0:32:50.520
<v Speaker 3>and society and you don't act that way. But then

0:32:50.600 --> 0:32:52.760
<v Speaker 3>when I drink, it's like, Nope, I'm doing this and

0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:55.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna fucking do cartwheels and hump the floor and

0:32:55.400 --> 0:32:58.800
<v Speaker 3>fucking tear shit down. And that's really what I felt

0:32:58.840 --> 0:33:01.120
<v Speaker 3>like in that moment, Like actually.

0:33:01.240 --> 0:33:04.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm so thrilled for you that you're sober, but you

0:33:04.320 --> 0:33:08.240
<v Speaker 1>were a mother fucking vibe in that moment.

0:33:09.720 --> 0:33:13.600
<v Speaker 3>Listen, I'm happy that the year I drank what we

0:33:13.840 --> 0:33:16.480
<v Speaker 3>had some great I got to drink with fucking the

0:33:16.560 --> 0:33:19.600
<v Speaker 3>best of them, Like we did I got to drink

0:33:19.600 --> 0:33:22.480
<v Speaker 3>with like Sonia morph like I got to get blackout

0:33:22.560 --> 0:33:25.680
<v Speaker 3>drunk with Durinda, Like it's pretty epic, and we had

0:33:25.720 --> 0:33:29.080
<v Speaker 3>some great moments for TV and I got I was, yeah,

0:33:29.160 --> 0:33:33.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm totally like the teeky torches everything, Like I not

0:33:33.360 --> 0:33:36.440
<v Speaker 3>a terrible job as a person in a relapse, Like

0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:37.440
<v Speaker 3>it was pretty good.

0:33:38.280 --> 0:33:40.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean it was. It was phenomenal. Happy that you're

0:33:40.680 --> 0:33:43.760
<v Speaker 1>sober now. And I feel like without those moments, like

0:33:43.840 --> 0:33:46.120
<v Speaker 1>so often we sit here and we question moments that

0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:47.840
<v Speaker 1>happened to us and we want to sit here and

0:33:47.880 --> 0:33:51.240
<v Speaker 1>like dwell on them. But I feel like without them,

0:33:51.800 --> 0:33:54.680
<v Speaker 1>we wouldn't be where we are today. And I mean,

0:33:55.480 --> 0:34:01.080
<v Speaker 1>you're a fantastic mother. You're such an amazing example for

0:34:01.400 --> 0:34:05.240
<v Speaker 1>a strong independent woman, Like how incredible for your daughter.

0:34:05.480 --> 0:34:07.600
<v Speaker 3>Well, I feel the same way about you, by the way,

0:34:07.960 --> 0:34:08.359
<v Speaker 3>thank you.

0:34:08.480 --> 0:34:10.880
<v Speaker 1>And I never used to think that way until I

0:34:10.960 --> 0:34:13.600
<v Speaker 1>had Ocean, and I just look at mothers differently now,

0:34:13.640 --> 0:34:16.680
<v Speaker 1>and you know, even single mothers, Like I know you

0:34:16.760 --> 0:34:19.080
<v Speaker 1>have a co parent, which is great, but like you're

0:34:19.080 --> 0:34:21.120
<v Speaker 1>doing the damn thing on your own, and I know

0:34:21.160 --> 0:34:24.000
<v Speaker 1>it can't be easy raising a teenager, Like what is

0:34:24.080 --> 0:34:25.480
<v Speaker 1>she like, what is she into?

0:34:25.960 --> 0:34:30.680
<v Speaker 3>She's actually just she just left the apartment. She was

0:34:31.239 --> 0:34:35.200
<v Speaker 3>she was very excited today because she is on Honor

0:34:35.280 --> 0:34:38.560
<v Speaker 3>Roll and she wanted a bait puddy and it's very expensive,

0:34:38.680 --> 0:34:40.640
<v Speaker 3>but I was like, because you're on the Honor Roll,

0:34:40.760 --> 0:34:44.320
<v Speaker 3>I will get this for you. Then she without me knowing,

0:34:44.520 --> 0:34:46.600
<v Speaker 3>said to her dad, can I have a presence on

0:34:46.800 --> 0:34:49.520
<v Speaker 3>the Honor Roll and got him to get her a

0:34:49.560 --> 0:34:52.520
<v Speaker 3>Supreme backpack. I'm like, you're a little hype east like,

0:34:52.600 --> 0:34:54.359
<v Speaker 3>but she has her own style and then she has

0:34:54.400 --> 0:34:57.880
<v Speaker 3>like true religion gene. She's very into her oh, because

0:34:57.880 --> 0:35:00.279
<v Speaker 3>true religion is back. It's like these kids want to

0:35:00.320 --> 0:35:05.800
<v Speaker 3>wear like Y two K stuff, like it's right anyway,

0:35:05.920 --> 0:35:09.080
<v Speaker 3>She's into fashion, and she's into hanging out with her

0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:12.279
<v Speaker 3>friends and her friend group, and you know, she does

0:35:12.280 --> 0:35:13.839
<v Speaker 3>well in school, so I'm happy about that.

0:35:14.000 --> 0:35:15.879
<v Speaker 1>But that's really all you can ask for.

0:35:16.239 --> 0:35:18.600
<v Speaker 3>And she's a well adjusted, happy kid. It's like, no,

0:35:18.680 --> 0:35:21.279
<v Speaker 3>she doesn't speak five languages. I don't think she's going

0:35:21.320 --> 0:35:25.160
<v Speaker 3>to Harvard like whatever, but she's she's doing great. But

0:35:25.719 --> 0:35:28.760
<v Speaker 3>she's happy. And she's also like she feels good about

0:35:28.760 --> 0:35:32.000
<v Speaker 3>who she is and she's not going to other people

0:35:32.040 --> 0:35:35.640
<v Speaker 3>to feel good, or drugs or anything like, thank God,

0:35:35.719 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 3>that's all I needed. That's all I wanted, was my daughter.

0:35:38.400 --> 0:35:41.600
<v Speaker 1>That's what every parent just praised to God for every night, exactly.

0:35:42.080 --> 0:35:44.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I have it. So I'm grateful because I

0:35:44.960 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 3>don't know how i'd emotionally be able to handle having

0:35:48.880 --> 0:35:50.160
<v Speaker 3>a teenager like me.

0:35:50.760 --> 0:35:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're like, bitch, I'm trying to stay sober. I

0:35:52.920 --> 0:35:54.520
<v Speaker 1>can't keep your ass sober too.

0:35:54.360 --> 0:35:56.800
<v Speaker 3>Exactly, I would be in the grave. I do not

0:35:56.960 --> 0:35:59.719
<v Speaker 3>know how my parents handle it, like I do not,

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:02.120
<v Speaker 3>But it's scared. I mean definitely when you're in meetings

0:36:02.120 --> 0:36:04.200
<v Speaker 3>and stuff and they're I mean, look, I'm sober, my

0:36:04.239 --> 0:36:07.319
<v Speaker 3>mother is sober. You know, my sister's sober. My dad

0:36:07.360 --> 0:36:09.920
<v Speaker 3>needs to be sober, and you know this is a

0:36:10.000 --> 0:36:13.160
<v Speaker 3>family disease too. So I definitely get scared. But I

0:36:13.160 --> 0:36:15.279
<v Speaker 3>have that conversation with her, like, hey, Keky, I know

0:36:15.320 --> 0:36:19.120
<v Speaker 3>you're gonna experiment, but like you should know that it's

0:36:19.239 --> 0:36:22.080
<v Speaker 3>dangerous for you. You could have the gene.

0:36:22.640 --> 0:36:25.920
<v Speaker 1>I think that's amazing that you're already having that conversation

0:36:26.000 --> 0:36:28.360
<v Speaker 1>with her, because I'm gonna have to have that conversation

0:36:28.440 --> 0:36:29.239
<v Speaker 1>with ocean.

0:36:28.960 --> 0:36:30.920
<v Speaker 3>At some point, of course, you definitely are.

0:36:31.239 --> 0:36:34.759
<v Speaker 1>God, how fucking terrifying being a parent now?

0:36:35.280 --> 0:36:38.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I remember Keiki's like first birthday. It

0:36:38.680 --> 0:36:41.319
<v Speaker 3>seems like I don't know, I just I wish I

0:36:41.360 --> 0:36:45.160
<v Speaker 3>had like held on to those moments more or something

0:36:45.160 --> 0:36:47.560
<v Speaker 3>when she was younger, like she still like wants to

0:36:47.560 --> 0:36:49.960
<v Speaker 3>cuddle with me sometimes. I'm really lucky, like we have

0:36:50.000 --> 0:36:54.040
<v Speaker 3>a good relationship. Doesn't hate me. But it's like, but

0:36:54.120 --> 0:36:56.520
<v Speaker 3>it's sad when they get older, they're like, because like

0:36:56.560 --> 0:36:58.960
<v Speaker 3>the young they're like, where does the little girl go?

0:36:59.080 --> 0:37:02.080
<v Speaker 1>She's gone, Okay, I know this is a really stupid question,

0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:03.520
<v Speaker 1>but does it really fly by?

0:37:03.960 --> 0:37:07.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? It does. I mean also like I feel like

0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:09.520
<v Speaker 3>I didn't really enjoy being a parent til she was

0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:12.319
<v Speaker 3>like six or something. Like I was like, oh my god,

0:37:12.360 --> 0:37:15.560
<v Speaker 3>this is so hard, and I sleep and I you know,

0:37:15.880 --> 0:37:18.080
<v Speaker 3>but then when I see little pictures of her like

0:37:18.239 --> 0:37:20.880
<v Speaker 3>as like a four year old, like hanging on me

0:37:20.960 --> 0:37:23.520
<v Speaker 3>and hugging me, and I'm just like, oh my god,

0:37:23.680 --> 0:37:26.120
<v Speaker 3>I miss that And I didn't like I didn't like

0:37:26.480 --> 0:37:28.960
<v Speaker 3>savor it enough or something. I guess it's hard to do,

0:37:29.200 --> 0:37:31.479
<v Speaker 3>but like because you're doing, you're doing life and doing

0:37:31.520 --> 0:37:35.319
<v Speaker 3>everything and it's like fucking hard parenting, but it does

0:37:35.360 --> 0:37:38.520
<v Speaker 3>fly by. It really does. Like it's crazy, like looking

0:37:38.520 --> 0:37:40.840
<v Speaker 3>at pictures of her when she's little or videos of

0:37:40.840 --> 0:37:43.960
<v Speaker 3>her when she's little, like I forget, like how sassy

0:37:44.040 --> 0:37:45.919
<v Speaker 3>she was. It's really funny.

0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:48.359
<v Speaker 1>And they come how they are Like Ocean. I can

0:37:48.440 --> 0:37:51.800
<v Speaker 1>teach her the basics like be nice to people, be kind,

0:37:52.040 --> 0:37:55.640
<v Speaker 1>but her personality is just she came out the cookie that.

0:37:55.600 --> 0:37:57.399
<v Speaker 3>Way exactly, just like we did.

0:37:57.520 --> 0:38:01.320
<v Speaker 1>Totally right, yes, Like there's no thing when when people

0:38:01.400 --> 0:38:04.040
<v Speaker 1>comment on like how my mom raised me, I'm like,

0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:07.239
<v Speaker 1>that bitch had no fucking control exactly.

0:38:07.360 --> 0:38:09.920
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, my mother definitely didn't either.

0:38:10.000 --> 0:38:12.560
<v Speaker 1>Right, I'm like, don't blame this on the mama, because

0:38:12.640 --> 0:38:14.879
<v Speaker 1>now I look at Ocean, I'm like, I'm not responsible

0:38:14.960 --> 0:38:17.080
<v Speaker 1>for anything she does in the future.

0:38:18.719 --> 0:38:20.439
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god. I feel like I want to ask

0:38:20.520 --> 0:38:23.560
<v Speaker 3>you questions, but this is your podcast.

0:38:23.080 --> 0:38:24.880
<v Speaker 1>So don't you have a podcast, Leah?

0:38:24.960 --> 0:38:27.800
<v Speaker 3>You know what, I had a podcast for many years

0:38:27.960 --> 0:38:31.480
<v Speaker 3>and then I was like sick of like talking, but

0:38:31.640 --> 0:38:33.760
<v Speaker 3>then like me and but now me and my sister

0:38:33.880 --> 0:38:35.800
<v Speaker 3>we have a podcast coming out me and my sister.

0:38:36.360 --> 0:38:38.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, I would love to be a guest on it.

0:38:38.719 --> 0:38:40.399
<v Speaker 3>We're gonna be a guest on it, and I'm gonna

0:38:40.400 --> 0:38:43.160
<v Speaker 3>ask you a bunch of questions and talk about you.

0:38:43.920 --> 0:38:46.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm a fucking open book. So before I let you go,

0:38:47.000 --> 0:38:49.680
<v Speaker 1>I have the corniest question in the world. And when

0:38:49.719 --> 0:38:52.000
<v Speaker 1>people asked me this, I hated the question, but I'm

0:38:52.000 --> 0:38:54.919
<v Speaker 1>gonna do it to you anyway. If people can take

0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:58.720
<v Speaker 1>one thing away from your book Chaos Theory, what would

0:38:58.719 --> 0:39:00.000
<v Speaker 1>you want them to take away from it?

0:39:00.440 --> 0:39:09.280
<v Speaker 3>Probably that if they are questioning where they are in life,

0:39:09.440 --> 0:39:12.600
<v Speaker 3>or dealing with addiction issues or mental health issues, or

0:39:12.640 --> 0:39:16.040
<v Speaker 3>like in a fucking toxic relationship, you can turn things

0:39:16.080 --> 0:39:19.279
<v Speaker 3>around and like, you're not alone, but you can turn

0:39:19.320 --> 0:39:19.920
<v Speaker 3>things around.

0:39:20.160 --> 0:39:23.120
<v Speaker 1>I love that. That like hit me pretty hard because

0:39:23.520 --> 0:39:25.480
<v Speaker 1>you know you can. We always think that we're not

0:39:25.520 --> 0:39:27.360
<v Speaker 1>going to be okay and we're going to be fucking okay.

0:39:27.560 --> 0:39:29.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we turn it around and we make it better.

0:39:29.920 --> 0:39:30.359
<v Speaker 1>We do.

0:39:30.760 --> 0:39:35.200
<v Speaker 3>We make it better than it was before that very part. Yeah,

0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:37.920
<v Speaker 3>when when everything when we break and we get broken,

0:39:38.000 --> 0:39:41.640
<v Speaker 3>we put ourselves back together even better version than before.

0:39:42.120 --> 0:39:44.720
<v Speaker 3>So it's good when you get broken.

0:39:45.239 --> 0:39:48.440
<v Speaker 1>I fucking co sign on that. Where can people purchase

0:39:48.520 --> 0:39:50.160
<v Speaker 1>the book and where can people follow you?

0:39:50.520 --> 0:39:53.480
<v Speaker 3>You can purchase Chaos Theory at you know, your local

0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:56.759
<v Speaker 3>independent bookstore, or if you want to just order it

0:39:56.760 --> 0:39:58.920
<v Speaker 3>on Amazon, you can do that or Barny Nobles, and

0:39:58.920 --> 0:40:01.560
<v Speaker 3>you can follow me on instagraund ask Leah mom.

0:40:01.960 --> 0:40:06.239
<v Speaker 1>I really fucking adore you question. Lala, You're amazing. Thank

0:40:06.280 --> 0:40:08.080
<v Speaker 1>you so much Leah for being on my podcast.

0:40:08.360 --> 0:40:10.360
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Lala,