1 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: And now it's time for the b a q a, 2 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 1: the b a q a, the b a q a. 3 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: Now with time, I really think that somebody should like 4 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: gift us a b a q a songs. I feel like, 5 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: you know, like I feel like, can't you hear like 6 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: a heavy bass? 7 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 2: Did I imagine it? Or do you actually have a 8 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 2: theme song for some of your ig lives? 9 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: And honestly, and the people but Chris, oh my goodness, 10 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: and his wife Sheila, Oh, Chris and Shaila, they're amazing. 11 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 1: First of all, why do they like produce music with 12 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,480 Speaker 1: like John Legend and stuff. 13 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 3: I'm like, wait what? 14 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: So they were like, Tiffany, you helped us on our 15 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: financial journey. We were able to get our house as 16 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: a result to you, so we want to gift you 17 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: this song. So they created a song called The Budget 18 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: Needs to break Down and it is so jazzy. If 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: you guys go to my Instagram, like once a week, 20 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 1: I post like this like short video where I break 21 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: down like a topic or whatever, and it's called the 22 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: Budget Needs to break Down and it opens up. It's like, 23 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: it sounds so amazing. It's like, welcome to your wealthy place. 24 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 3: This is where you belong. 25 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: I can't say, but it's just like it's so jazzy. 26 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: But if anybody else got a little jazzy in their 27 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: soul and they want to gift us a baqa song, 28 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: me and manager say yes, ma'am, we'll take it. 29 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 3: So with that being said. 30 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 2: I mean, if they want to hook us up, they can. 31 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 2: They can feel free if anyone else out there wants 32 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 2: to take be a Qa and turn it into a jingle, 33 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 2: although Tiffany I cannot, we did, once upon a time 34 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 2: have some unsolicited submissions of podcast artwork that shall never 35 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 2: be shared, so you know, don't you know? We will 36 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 2: have editorial approval over any approach. Is not a boy, 37 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 2: I don't know everybody. It's just like the aesthetic. It's 38 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 2: just maybe our aesthetic is not y'all's aesthetic. But all 39 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 2: all is good. Well, what do we have on the 40 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 2: dot cut for this week's of this week's be a 41 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 2: Q and a Tip? 42 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: So first on a docket, we've got an anonymous submission 43 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 1: like my fiance and I have been binge watching Marriage 44 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: or Mortgage on Netflix. Basically, just like the title says, 45 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 1: couples meet with a wedding planner and a real estate 46 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 1: agent simultaneously, each person is trying to win them over. 47 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,279 Speaker 1: Then at the end of the episode, the couples decide 48 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: what they're going to do with their money as someone 49 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: who is newly engaged. Is it crazy or possible to 50 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 1: have both? I fully understand that the average wedding costs 51 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: thirty thousand dollars. As of right now, we're renting and 52 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: we just signed for our third year here. Do you 53 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: have any tips on how to save now for either choice? Also, 54 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: we would like to have our first home be a 55 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: multi family unit duplex. We want to use it for 56 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: family also an extra source of income. Does that change anything? 57 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 2: Thanks? 58 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: Ladies. 59 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 2: Oh man, this actually is so cute and timely because 60 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 2: if you go back to Wednesday's episode when we share 61 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 2: our first ever BA episode from the archive, I was 62 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 2: just about to be engaged later that year, and I 63 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 2: was in full saving for the wedding mode, even before 64 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: I had a ring on this finger. 65 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 3: Okay, I gotta do girl, please me too. 66 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 2: You know I wasn't. I was not. The savings account 67 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 2: was not named Husbie and my say wedding fund. It 68 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: was just Mandy's wedding fund. Okay, because you know I 69 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 2: wanted to get married. I just didn't know at the time. 70 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 2: It didn't matter to whom. I just wanted to be ready. Yeah, 71 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 2: and I have you heard of the show Marriage or 72 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 2: Mortgage on Netflix. 73 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 3: I've heard of it. I have not watched it, but 74 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: I've heard it. 75 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 2: I watched one little episode and it kind of it 76 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 2: just made me cranky because this person asks. I know 77 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 2: they want to be anonymous, but they ask, is it 78 00:03:55,960 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 2: crazy or possible to have both? No, it's not. It 79 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 2: is not crazy. You can definitely have both. I mean, yeah, absolutely, 80 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: and I did both. I had I had the wedding. 81 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 2: I spent thirty k on a wedding and I were 82 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 2: around about that much. And we saved a lot by 83 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: living with my husband's parents for how long do we 84 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 2: live with them? Like five or six months? I survived 85 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 2: that ordeal. You know. Actually I actually wrote about this 86 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 2: in that CNBC article, so I did the math for myself. 87 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 2: We saved about eleven thousand dollars by living with them, 88 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 2: and we were able to. And the thing was, I 89 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 2: was we moved in with my with his parents when 90 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: I was earning the most I've ever earned in my career, 91 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 2: Like I was earning well over six figures, had equity 92 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,039 Speaker 2: all this stuff, and that is when I was like, 93 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 2: this is it. This is the moment when you decide 94 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 2: are you going to let lifestyle lifestyle inflation creep on 95 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 2: you and steal your wealth or are you going to 96 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 2: make the unpopular decision and down size. And that is 97 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 2: what he and I decided to do. And it wasn't easy, 98 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 2: but we knew you wanted to have money in the 99 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 2: bank for a wedding and a mortgage down the line. 100 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,159 Speaker 2: And yeah, we got married in twenty seventeen and had 101 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 2: a house in twenty eighteen, and I just wanted to 102 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 2: share that because just to illustrate that, yeah, you can 103 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 2: have both, but you may have to sacrifice some things 104 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 2: to get there. 105 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'll say this too, that so I opted 106 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: not to have a wedding, not because we couldn't afford it. 107 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 3: I just honestly I didn't want one. 108 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: But instead we ended up purchasing our house and we 109 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: bought a cash you know, because we had the excess 110 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: funds in order to do so. There is no right 111 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,039 Speaker 1: or wrong. It's up to you for what you want 112 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 1: to do. But to answer your question about tips of 113 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: how to save now for either choice, I say both 114 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: if you're able. So one, you want to identify what's 115 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 1: your saving school. So I know the average wedding costs 116 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: thirty thousand, but what do you want to spend. Do 117 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: you want to spend twenty do you want to spend forty? 118 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 3: What is that? 119 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: And then two, have you started to scope out multi 120 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: family homes to see how much that costs? So you 121 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,840 Speaker 1: can start to identify what is our down payment going 122 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: to look like? Have you taken a first time home 123 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,559 Speaker 1: buyer course? I highly recommend it was so helpful before 124 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: about my first home because then I learned like, oh, 125 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily have to save for twenty percent down. 126 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 1: You know, I might go for an fah loan, which 127 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: is a loan that's backed by the government, and so 128 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: I only had to put three point five percent down, 129 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: you know, So do the math. Take a first time 130 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: home buyer's course, and so that way at least you 131 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: can kind of map out. Okay, all in all, we 132 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: need to say fifty thousand dollars In the next Let's 133 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: pretend you're getting married in two years because you didn't share, right, 134 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: and so you can split that and say, okay, what 135 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: is fifty thousand dollars divided by twenty four months. How 136 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: much do we need to start saving now in order 137 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 1: to get to our goal? So, like, ultimately, any goal 138 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: can be reached as long as you want identify what 139 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: the goal is and start to break down the steps 140 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: to get there. Is it Is it like Mandra moving 141 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,039 Speaker 1: in with your in laws or your parents, you know? 142 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: Is it asking for a raise at work? Is it 143 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: side hustle so you can make additional money on the 144 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: side and stash it away. One thing my sister, one 145 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: of my sisters, did, Carol that you always, guys are 146 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: always asking to come on brodn ambition. 147 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 3: Is that she girl, that's because. 148 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 2: You keep pelling the same anecdote. Yes, she bought ten 149 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 2: people want her on the show. 150 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 3: Yes, she bought Tesla. 151 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: Yes, because my sister Carol's an engineer, and so she 152 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: was telling us about these electric, crazy electric cars. I 153 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: was like, sounds crazy to me, and she was like, no, 154 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: I'm buying Tesla, you know, and like I just think 155 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: it's just a really great investment. She bought Tesla when 156 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: it was like something crazy, like under one hundred dollars 157 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: a share, and so she sold some of it in 158 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: order to pay she was able to. I can't remember 159 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: how much she put in, but you know she had 160 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: tens of thousands of dollars and she sold some of 161 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: it in order to pay for her wedding. Her and 162 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,679 Speaker 1: her fiance both invested and sold some of their shares 163 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: to pay for the wedding. So there are a myriad 164 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: of ways, but it starts with identifying your goal, how 165 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: much that goal is going to cost you, so you 166 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: can walk toward that goal, and when do you need 167 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: the money buy? 168 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sitting here thinking about why that show a 169 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 2: marriage or mortgage kind of gets on my nerves, or 170 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 2: it got on my nerves when I was watching it. 171 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 2: It's also the idea that those two things are super comparable. 172 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 2: I mean, one, it just depends on your values as 173 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 2: a couple and where you're at in your life. But 174 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 2: if that show was called, you know, marriage or dream rental, 175 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 2: there'd be nothing wrong with it, Like you don't have 176 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 2: to buy a mortgage, that is not it. I am 177 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 2: as shocked as anyone that my life has followed such 178 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 2: a conventional linear path. Okay, first comes love, then comes baby, 179 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 2: then you know all that thing and the marriage and 180 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 2: the mortgage. I did it all in the right and 181 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 2: like the quote unquote right way. And I'm so annoyed 182 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 2: at myself because I'm supposed to be like rebel progressive, 183 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 2: you know, non traditional feminist lady. But that's just how 184 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 2: life worked out for me, you know, it wasn't It 185 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 2: was just a super traditional kind of one step after 186 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 2: the next. It just it just worked out that way. 187 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 2: But that is not at all the way that your 188 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 2: story has to go. And I just don't want anyone 189 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 2: to feel like they're doing something wrong if they get 190 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 2: married and they put off the wedding and they stay 191 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 2: renting for a while, Like, you don't have to let 192 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 2: anyone else's labels or expectations divert you from your goals. 193 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 2: But what Tiffany said is so smart, because being clear 194 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 2: on what you want and why you want it is 195 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 2: what's going to help you make decisions. Or at the 196 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 2: end of the day, I can say without an ounce 197 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 2: of regret that I spent as much as I spent 198 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 2: on my wedding, that I bought the house that I 199 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 2: bought because I did it with our goals and a 200 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 2: shared desire for those things, and it made me so happy. Yeah, 201 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: no regrets, no regrets, right, So, I mean you may 202 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 2: have regrets for things that are outside of your control. 203 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,319 Speaker 2: But if you go into a decision with your partner 204 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 2: knowing that it's what you guys want as a couple 205 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,719 Speaker 2: and that you will both be happy working toward this 206 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 2: goal together as a partner, then ultimately what will be 207 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 2: will will be, and you can never regret having made 208 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 2: that decision because you knew it was what was right 209 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 2: for you too. 210 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,439 Speaker 3: To start with, that's very good. 211 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 2: I'm so wise. 212 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 3: Six years later, we've got a second one. 213 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 2: I don't realize I have one earring in my ear? 214 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,439 Speaker 2: Why didn't no one tell me? I didn't notice, y'all. 215 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 2: I am a mess. Oh my god. Okay, go ahead, 216 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 2: now we got it. We gotta just felt it, danglin. 217 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,839 Speaker 1: A message from a beautiful prego lady. What does she 218 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: have to say, Mandy, a. 219 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 2: Beautiful prego lady. Yeah, she said no. Wait, oh, she 220 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 2: signs it pregnant and confused. Listen, any woman who's pregnant 221 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 2: is also a little confused. What is happening down there? 222 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 2: All right? This is an interesting, interesting question, and I 223 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 2: want to do it justice to let me read this 224 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 2: soul slope. Pregnant and confused, says, I got a new 225 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 2: job at a fitness startup and I have been here 226 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 2: for two months. The thing is, I was when I 227 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: was hired, and I just informed my boss of this 228 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 2: last week. I will only have been at the company 229 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 2: for six months when my baby is due. However, the 230 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 2: company offers a six month maternity leave as part of 231 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 2: its benefits package. I am not sure whether I should 232 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 2: take the full maternity leave or cut it short due 233 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 2: to my newness at the company. On the one hand, 234 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 2: it would be time where I get to be dedicated 235 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,680 Speaker 2: to the new baby and can prolong having to find 236 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 2: and pay for childcare. I already have a two year 237 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 2: old and we do have to foot the bill for 238 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 2: his childcare costs already. Plus being a new mom is 239 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,719 Speaker 2: hard and it'd be nice to have the full six months. 240 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 2: On the other hand, it's that much longer being away 241 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 2: from work, not being able to show what I'm capable of, 242 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 2: and having my projects be taken on by someone else. 243 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 2: Having been through this once already, there's always that little 244 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 2: voice in my head going, what if they figure out 245 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 2: they don't need me. My last company had a horrible 246 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,720 Speaker 2: maternity leave policy where I was unpaid outside of insurance 247 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 2: and back. 248 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 3: At work after eight weeks. 249 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 2: Part of me is extremely tempted to take advantage of 250 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,199 Speaker 2: the great benefits of my new come company, but another 251 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: part of me wonders if it's worth it to take 252 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,440 Speaker 2: the career head. What should I do? Any and all 253 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 2: advice is. 254 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 3: Appreciated, Oh pregnant and confused. 255 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 1: First of all, I'm just pissed that you even have 256 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: to be in this position where you're like I was, 257 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: just me, I bring life, stop being is this world beautiful? 258 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 3: Life into this world? 259 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: Or like your career, like you know, it just sucks 260 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 1: that like men don't have to like contemplate, like you know, 261 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: if I bring life into this world the whole reason 262 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: why we're here in existence, then maybe I'm not going 263 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 1: to be advanced in my career. 264 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 3: That sucks. 265 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: So let's just put that out there. I'm just trying 266 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: to think to myself as an employer. So we actually 267 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: have we have a new Unicorn niece, So I call 268 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: my team the Unicorn Squad and. 269 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 3: Tamra shout out to you. Miss Tamra. 270 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: She is the manager of our literature academy, and she 271 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: gave us a new niece. It's my third baby. So 272 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: Tamora has been on raternityly twice since she's worked with me, 273 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: and I think she's. 274 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 3: Been here four or five years. 275 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: And it depends on the company obviously, you know, tam 276 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: is able to take as much time as she needs. 277 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: She has prepared her team to give them all the 278 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: things that they needed to be able to move, you know, 279 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: move forward without her being here on a day to 280 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: day basis. Would I feel some kind of way if 281 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 1: six months it honestly, it really would depend on was 282 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 1: that person here when they were here, you know. So 283 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,439 Speaker 1: it's almost like it's not even about the it's maternity. 284 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,560 Speaker 1: Let's just say it's vacation. You're gone for two weeks 285 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 1: or whatever. And ultimately, if you bring value of what 286 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: I call illustrating your OPRAH, if you bring value to 287 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: the workplace, then you know, if the company is fair, 288 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: then they will see your value either way. So illustrating 289 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,600 Speaker 1: your OPRAH. This is what I tell my team and 290 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: my mentees and things all the time, is that when 291 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,319 Speaker 1: you illustrate your OPRAH, you make your value so undeniable 292 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: that like if someone if Oprah said, hey, you want 293 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: me to come speak at you event, it's going to 294 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 1: be twenty thousand dollars. People would find the money even 295 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: if they normally wouldn't because you're like, no, the value 296 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: that Oprah brings to the table is so valuable. Even 297 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: though twenty thousand is out of my range, I'm going 298 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 1: to find it. And so, like, illustrating your Oprah just 299 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 1: means going above and beyond, like you know, bringing all 300 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: your genius and excellence to work, you know, making sure 301 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: that you know when you're working on something, the buck 302 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: stops with you, Like you're not passing along responsibility to 303 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 1: others when when you know, when the responsibility is yours. 304 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 2: You know. 305 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: So when I look at Tam, like, you know, if 306 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: she was gone for eight months, I would want her 307 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: back because she is Oprah, you know, she the value 308 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: that she brings to the table is not diminished because 309 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 1: she's been gone for however many months the Tam is 310 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: taking for maternity leave because I also know that the 311 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 1: team is running so smoothly as a result of her excellence, 312 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: like she planned to make sure that everyone was going 313 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: to be good. And yeah, so I say, you know, 314 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: not things more important than life and family, nothing, even 315 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: if that does mean you take a hit professionally, which 316 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 1: is not fair. But I think if you illustrate your 317 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: oprah and your company is as good as you say 318 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: that it is, then you should hopefully be fine. 319 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. First and foremost, you are completely within your right 320 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 2: to not tell your employer when you're interviewing if you're 321 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 2: pregnant or not. You can walk in there nine months 322 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 2: pregnant and they can't say a damn thing. Now, they 323 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 2: can choose to penalize you for that by not hiring you, 324 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 2: but that's illegal, so they better not say that out loud. 325 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 2: So you've been hired, and now you've told your boss 326 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 2: that you are pregnant. Let's talk about this six month 327 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 2: maternity leave policy, and let's compare it to that horrible 328 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 2: leave policy that you had at your previous job where 329 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 2: you said that you were back at work after eight weeks. 330 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 2: First of all, I just hate that this country is 331 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 2: a first world country, as I say, which I know 332 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: we're not supposed to say anymore, but we are a 333 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 2: rich nation, okay, and we spend so much money on 334 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 2: so many things, and one of them is not actually 335 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 2: mandating paid maternity leave or parental leave for families, which 336 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 2: is just outrageous to me even now, because it puts 337 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 2: women like you in this position where you feel like 338 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 2: you need to put your career in front of your 339 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 2: family's best needs, and it is just like it pisses 340 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 2: me off to no end. But here's what I want 341 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 2: to say. I don't want you to take the mistreatment 342 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 2: or the poor treatment and you received it your last job, 343 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 2: and let that talk you out of the incredible value 344 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 2: that this new company is offering you. They are offering 345 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 2: you an incredible opportunity. One that I will say is 346 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: a recruitment incentive that they have because they want to 347 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 2: retain and recruit talent like you. They want people, potential 348 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 2: employees to know that they value This is what they're 349 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 2: telling you with this policy. We value families, We value 350 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 2: the work of being a parent. We want to make 351 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 2: sure that you have plenty of time with your family 352 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 2: so that you can be there for them in those 353 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 2: early crucial months. I would love to have had six 354 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 2: months off with little boy. Wait, little boy? What I 355 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 2: would love to have six months off with Rio? I 356 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 2: guess I just spent a week with my mom and 357 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 2: she anyway, and you know I only got like twelve 358 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,199 Speaker 2: weeks and this is this is amazing. I mean, you 359 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 2: should take full one hundred percent, without a drop of 360 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 2: guilt or fear, take full advantage of this incredible policy. 361 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 2: I think you were so wise to jump ship. And 362 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 2: I think other employers, especially your previous employer, they should 363 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 2: be terrified and watching these companies at how they're able 364 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 2: to snatch amazing talent away from each other because they 365 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 2: offer these more generous parental leaf policies. So yeah, I 366 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: a thousand percent think you don't need to think. I mean, 367 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 2: I hate that you're thinking twice about it, but just stop. 368 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,919 Speaker 2: Take your six months off, enjoy it in enjoy it, 369 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 2: do the job that you were hired to do. While 370 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 2: you were there. You've given them your not you've given 371 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 2: them notice of your you know, your amazing news of 372 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 2: being pregnant again. So, like Tiffany said, now you can 373 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,640 Speaker 2: help them prepare for when you're not going to be there. 374 00:17:55,800 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 2: And any smart company with any proper planning and proper 375 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 2: management would already be planning for cases when employees may 376 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 2: need to be gone. Whether it's for yes, parental leave, 377 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,640 Speaker 2: but it could be an illness, it could be needing 378 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,959 Speaker 2: to leave to take care of their mental health, like 379 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 2: other situations may occur when you may need to leave 380 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 2: your job, right, And companies they just shoot themselves in 381 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,879 Speaker 2: the foot if they do not properly plan for it, 382 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 2: and then they try to penalize employees for their own 383 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 2: lack of planning and poor management. Right, Like, why am 384 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 2: I feeling guilty for taking advantage of the policy the 385 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 2: time off that you gave me when it's only because 386 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 2: you know you don't feel like you're prepared to keep 387 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 2: the ship running without me. And yeah, so I think 388 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 2: pregnant and confused, you should, like Tiffany said, step up 389 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 2: and help them, you know, make sure it's all smooth 390 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 2: while you're on your maternity leave. But at the end 391 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 2: of the day, it's it's it's your management's responsibility to 392 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 2: create processes and systems that are put in place so 393 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 2: that anyone other team feels like they can be a 394 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 2: human when they need to be a human and take 395 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,399 Speaker 2: time off for their family, for their health, whatever it 396 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,159 Speaker 2: may be. And I hope, I hope that you if 397 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,360 Speaker 2: were listening to this, and I hope that you are 398 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,639 Speaker 2: going into this decision feeling much more confident because you 399 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 2: have every every right to be taking this time off 400 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 2: and I if you feel like you're penalized when you 401 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 2: come back, then I don't know. It sounds like you 402 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,639 Speaker 2: got lost in your hands because there's no there's just 403 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 2: no rationale. Like they offer you the perk, take the perk. 404 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 3: Mm hm, can you tell him? 405 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 2: I a little passionate about that. 406 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's just a tiny bit. Just remember you 407 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 3: looking good? It's Opus bank account. 408 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,400 Speaker 2: Wait what you look in good? Like OPA's bank account. 409 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a song. Okay, oh manday. 410 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: I feel like if I say a little YACHTI, you 411 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: guys are like you guys said his name wrong. 412 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 3: Look, I'm forty one. 413 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 1: Okay, Look, I'm just I can't get down. I get 414 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,719 Speaker 1: down low key, high key whatever. Keys, y'all are in. 415 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,160 Speaker 1: You're looking good? 416 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 2: Well, I just gave my son the moniker a little boy, 417 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:04,200 Speaker 2: and I don't even know where that came from. So hey, 418 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 2: that sounds terrible. Little YACHTI okay, I'll check him out. 419 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 3: Yeah that so a little vulgar. You might not. That's 420 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 3: the only part I can sing. 421 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 2: That's okay, okay, so make sure you do it in confused, 422 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 2: you can check out little Yachty too on your maternity 423 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,879 Speaker 2: leave your six months of it. Enjoy it, girl, and 424 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,919 Speaker 2: shout it from the rooftop so that other people know 425 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 2: this amazing company offers that kind of policy, because this 426 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,640 Speaker 2: is what we need until this country gets its act 427 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,959 Speaker 2: together and makes a friends to leave paid. 428 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 3: Well. 429 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,000 Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoyed are brown b a q A. 430 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 1: So I mean I did it on the empty stomach, Mandy. 431 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: So remember before our chat, I. 432 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 3: Was like, She's like, I did it. I did the thing. 433 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 3: Someone out they sold my my uber eats eat and 434 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, that's. 435 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 2: Okay the violation of one of the ten commandments, Like 436 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 2: isn't it one of the not especially if I can. 437 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: See you an app on your way here and then 438 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: see you say nah. I was like no. And then 439 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,919 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I'm going to order for 440 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 1: my other favorite restaurant. They're like, oh no, we're not 441 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: open right now because we open it in half an hour. 442 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh man, I got to take 443 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: the podcast. So I messaged my sister. I was like, 444 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: it's okay, order for my other favorite restaurant. Just found 445 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,959 Speaker 1: out there not open, not on Tuesdays, so it's been 446 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: all day almost. 447 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 2: When you got to like suck it up and get 448 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 2: you like a Mickey D's or a Subway sandwich and 449 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 2: just say today is not the day to be bouge go. 450 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: I just it's it's clear something does not want me 451 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 1: to eat. You know what, if I'm not spelt after 452 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,160 Speaker 1: this day of fasting, that's what you're doing. 453 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 2: It's intermittent fast that's what it is. 454 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,239 Speaker 1: But no, I don't thaged now barely, but honestly, I'm 455 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 1: still I'm still in good spirit. So if you guys 456 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: have questions, please please please go to Browne Vision podcast 457 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: dot com click ask us anything. We love answering your questions. 458 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 1: We try to get at least two or three in 459 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: you know on our b a q WA Fridays. You know, 460 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,680 Speaker 1: you could always hit us up on Twitter and Instagram 461 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: as well if you've got questions and me and Mandy 462 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,359 Speaker 1: are here for you. 463 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 3: I'm here for you. 464 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 2: I also know that love. Yes, thank y'all for listening. 465 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:17,400 Speaker 2: See y'all. 466 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 3: Yes bye