WEBVTT - Ep 283: Are You Overwhelmed or Just Lazy? 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:20.600 Hey, hey, hey, we're back. 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:25.160 We're black, we're brown, and it's John Whish. 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:26.920 I could see me like when I get the hands going, 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.200 it's giving, it's giving Auntie realness. 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:31.800 Yes, And I was just gonna say, you are extra 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:35.559 chocolatey today. I'm seeing like the monochrome lip happening. You're 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:37.519 kind of blurry, but I feel like you have a 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:39.479 little bit of bronzer on your eyelid. I don't know, 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:39.880 I don't. 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:42.279 I woke up like this. I have not even washed 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:42.920 my face today. 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:45.440 This is oh, shut up, I take it back, but 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:46.680 you look gorgeous. 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:48.159 I mean, I put a lip on it. I was like, 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:49.519 did you watch your face today? To be I'm like, 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:50.800 you know what I did not. 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:53.120 I woke up and I took off my acne patch 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:55.440 at the last minute, so I was like, they're probably 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:57.560 going to be able to see it. That's where I'm 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:02.080 at today. Happy brand and Vision Wednesday. How are you, 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:05.959 Mandra I am a little frazzled, but I'm doing good. 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:08.840 I finally finally, well, I don't even know if I 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:10.760 can say finally. It wasn't like something that I was 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:13.000 thinking about for a long time, but all of a 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:15.600 sudden I just had this epiphany last week. It's time 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:17.759 for an admin. It's time for an assistant. 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.760 And it's not like you're gonna say it's time for 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:22.479 the percolator. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:24.000 You're like, it's not for the time. 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:26.479 For It's not a percolator, it's alator. 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:30.720 No, it's the percolator. You're showing your age. You're so young. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.960 So the original song is time for the percolator. So 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:37.039 now they change it to the triculator whatever they talk 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:40.200 now the literally the original song is the percolator, and 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:40.679 it's like. 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:43.319 Some of y'all dances to it right now. 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:45.160 You're like, it's that slide like you know, you gotta 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:47.880 do the it's time for the percolate, like side to side. 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:49.520 And then you got to do your footwork like. 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:52.840 It's it's the thing you got me just say, okay, 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:54.760 young blood, let me take you aside and teach you 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:56.400 something because I. 0:01:56.360 --> 0:02:00.120 Was a percolator and it show. 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.400 This is why you need people of all different you know, 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:10.600 ages and backgrounds, because look how much more educated I am. 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:12.840 You know that you will not embarrass yourself at the 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.120 at the next family function. 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:15.680 I hope not. 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.679 I hope not. Lord, No, I'm a little. I'm a 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:23.119 little frazzled, but I finally I found a wonderful young 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:27.200 woman to help me and be my admin, and could 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.600 not have been I'd been at a better time, because 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:31.520 it seems like everything has been a little whack a 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:34.680 doodle the past week, starting with the fact that somehow 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:37.080 I managed to book so I'm going to Atlanta for 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.440 a thing, and I managed to book two flights to Atlanta. 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:44.600 So one day, two weeks ago, I was like, Okay, 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:46.520 I finally got details. I'm going to book this flight. 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:49.120 And then five days went by and I don't know what. 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:51.520 I just forgot that I had done it, and I 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:53.160 was like, oh crap, I got to book this flight. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.240 I got it, and I set my reminder, and then 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:56.720 I booked another flight, and then I was looking at 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:59.000 my calendar and I'm like, why do I have two 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.560 different options? And there are different times leaving and different 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.760 times arriving, Like the brain is just not you know 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:11.280 where she needs to be, so referral, I have a 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:13.440 really great I don't even know what to call Marisa. 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.919 Marisa is my She's someone that I met in my 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:17.880 last job, and she has become I think I've talked 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.919 about her before. She's sort of like my business budget 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:22.960 niezte is how I feel. So she and I actually 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:25.520 talk every week, and we have both been launching our 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:28.000 solo business at at the same time, and so we 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.160 just check each other. It's like we just ended up 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:33.240 having these weekly Friday calls and Marisa ended up I 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:35.000 could talk about her all day. But she is this 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:40.320 powerhouse professional PR REP and she is on this mission 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:43.680 to give black women opportunities in PR that they may 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:46.320 not otherwise have. And we were talking about our sponsor 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:48.320 word Tune, and I really was meaning. What we were 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:52.200 talking about is how important written communication is and if 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:55.080 you do not have communication skills on point, it can 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:58.040 really hurt you. But what so often happens is people 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.040 who may have the writing skills, they may not have 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:05.400 the professional background or specific jobs in PR to get 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:08.040 those opportunities, and they may be wanting to pivot, but 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.040 it can be hard for them to pivot into that career. 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.800 So Marisa is basically training and helping people who have 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:17.440 those great communication verbal skills, written skills, but they just 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:19.800 need some training and coaching and how to do that 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:23.279 in the context of public relations and comms. So Anyway, 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.560 So I was talking to Marisa, so she's like, it's time, 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.080 and I said, I know it's time. And then she 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:31.080 happened to be working with this young woman named Rock. 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.359 So Hey, Rocks, I'm outing you as my assistant. But 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:40.000 I'm excited because literally before fifteen minutes before we started recording, 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.479 my little brother Tech called me and he's all sound 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.720 and haggard, and I was like, what's wrong, Alex, because 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:47.640 I'm staying with him in Atlanta because Atlanta is a 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:51.640 COVID hell mouth right now. And he's like, listen, I 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:54.720 got the aches, I got the chills, I'm not the 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:59.400 I'm fatigued. Meanwhile, he has had COVID, he is vaccinated, 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.600 so I just to be on the safe side, I'm scrambling. 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:02.880 I was. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.000 I was like, Rocks, I got something for you. I 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.400 need a hotel and I have never needed to use 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:12.960 the app hotels tonight more than yeah, I need it now. Wow. 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:17.680 Yeah. So yeah, I would say, so here's some here's 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.760 some unsolicited admin advice. 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:21.680 Give it to me, because I know you've been through 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:23.800 them girls one or two. 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:28.320 Or three or seven definitely. So my team was like, 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.600 is it you. I'm like, is not me. I've had 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:30.880 a lot of. 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.840 Really awesome trauma. 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:35.960 But no, but what I've what I learned with admins 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:39.840 one it actually like whatever, like give her like a 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:43.120 general name because it's unlikely that Rocks will be with 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:44.479 you for like the next twenty years. You know, you 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:46.520 just never know it's possible, but you never know. So 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.520 you know, my admin's name is her real name is Rose. 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:53.560 But y'all have ever emailed me professionally or otherwise, it's 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:59.279 always Michelle. Whether I've had admin's name Sylvia, Leah, Roseanne, Rose, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:05.200 Little Candice, I just had so many different admins and 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:14.800 but either way in Molly, Vicky Thomas, about three kims 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.960 like all right, dmx no, but for real, So so 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.320 that's always a good idea because it just helps us 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.160 like with continuity, like you know, as your brand grow. 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:23.720 So that's one. 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.120 Yes, yeah, And honestly, I mean, just like honestly open 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:28.320 communication is always key. 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.080 I believe just this is just in general with like 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:32.000 teams and whatever. 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:35.800 What I've gotten really like good at is like I 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.440 want my admin to think what would Tiffany do? So 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.159 in the beginning, you know, we talk all the time 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:44.680 as I'm giving her instruction, I like to give. 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:45.400 Her the backstory. 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:48.839 So I'm like, so, for example, I'm like, you know, 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.200 let's just say something for grand ambition that you've emailed me. 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.400 So I'm not just like, oh, just let Mandy know, yeah, 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:56.200 Wednesday's fine. I'm like, so, Mandy's my friend, but we 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.920 have a podcast today together, but we're actually really friends. 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:02.240 And then so it's important because when she emails you 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.279 that way doesn't sound all formal. 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:07.520 Like hello Modu, you know. 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:12.520 And actually why not let him? 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.520 I'm like, just like, hey, girl, anyway, be. 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:18.440 Very scary and that you're afraid of me. 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:23.720 So so I just think that like, yeah, with admins, well, 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:26.160 with anyone anyway, but especially admins, like you know, giving 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:27.800 them kind of like I call out the soap propera, 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:29.000 like you know, you're like, okay, so this is my 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:29.560 favorite show. 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.320 So that's Marcus. So Marcus really likes Vanessa. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.080 But Vanessa's not luck Marcus because it really helps her 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:38.600 to make like wiser, more holistic choices when I'm not 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.520 as you know, as present. And so that was it, honestly, 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:45.120 and but honestly, don't be afraid too, because it doesn't take. 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:46.960 It took me a long time to realize it doesn't 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:49.480 take a whole day to recognize sunshine. Where I've had 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.080 admins that weren't a fit and kept them for a 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.760 year and drowned instead. So now I'm like, no, you know, 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.360 like there was an admin that we had recently and 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.120 three days in I was like, yeah, this is not 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:00.720 a fit, and then with the week I was like, 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:02.000 you know, we wish you well, but this is not 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.120 a fit. I'm not doing that anymore where I'm going 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.200 to suffer for a year when something's not a fit. 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:07.520 They might be a fit someplace else. 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:09.640 Because we've had admins who have been on the team 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:12.360 and now they work on another team, you know, because 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:14.520 it was a better fit for them there, and then 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.720 just some people who weren't just a culture fitted that 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:19.720 at all. But yeah, like you know, because it's such 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:23.080 a critical like my CEO, Karen is my right hand, 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:24.120 I tell them, and I told. 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:25.679 Rose you are my left hand. 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.240 Like you're like you might you know, if Oprah emails me, 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:32.040 you'll see it before I do. So, like you know, 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:36.840 like admin sounds like too small a word to encompass, Like. 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:43.480 You want to watch when Oprah emails to me but 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:45.920 be like, how does email work. 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:49.440 Now? Because we get some cool stuff that comes through, 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:51.360 and I'm like, you know, so it's exciting, you know 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:54.080 because some of the people like admin, that seems like belief 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:56.360 beneath me, and I'm like, no, SIS, like, oh. 0:08:57.840 --> 0:08:59.320 Yes, it's so critically important. 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:01.600 Yeah, I mean, and you can come up executive assistant, 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:04.079 whatever you want to call it, human roll of duct tape. 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:05.720 Just fix all the things, you know what I mean, 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:09.480 all the teams. Yes, no, that thank you, thank you. 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:11.920 I think that for me, I learned I made a 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.680 lot of mistakes running a team and building a team 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.839 and working with assistants in the past, and one of 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:20.520 the biggest mistakes that I made was not being able 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.720 to particulate what I needed. And I actually still do 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:25.360 this from time to time. We were just in Saint 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.599 Louis visiting my mom and I'm just not used to 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.160 having help, right. I mean, I have a husband, but 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:34.840 you know he has a wife. Yeah yeah, yeah, and 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.760 my mom. I'm running around and I'm just like stressed out. 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:39.840 So the first day we're there, you know, we've thirty 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.240 we've survived a thirty hour road trip, et cetera. And 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.080 I'm trying to still work, and I'm running around Rio. 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.760 We have to like give him allergy medicine. We're looking 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.679 for like one of those little syringes whatever, but no 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.599 one knew. I'm running around with a chicken, like a 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.000 chicken with his head cut off, and I'm just like, 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:55.680 I have this deadline, and I'm in my head, in 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:58.400 my head, I'm just like, why isn't my mom more helpful? 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:00.920 Like why isn't she just like seeing what I need? 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.240 And she's and she stopped me and she's like, I 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:05.640 can't help you if you don't tell me what you need. 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:10.520 And I needed some ring and she's like, oh, this one, 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:14.120 and she had anyway, so for me, and that's anyway. 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:15.959 So me with me and Rocks, it's going to be 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.680 all about you know, I had I did some introspective 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.360 like thinking about what do I need and what are 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.040 some tasks and all of that, so that I'm not 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:28.000 just bringing someone on who has no direction. Yeah, but 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:32.079 you know, all in yes, I hope I. Rocks has 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.360 a cool career of her own and you know, has 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.920 her own business and it's almost like she has two 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.840 bosses because she also works with Marisa and she knows 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:41.640 like you know what I mean, I kind of like that. 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.160 I'm like, yeah, if Maurice is on the phone and 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:46.280 I'm just like, hey, you know, I'm your boss now, 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:47.480 just like hit up on Marisa. 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:48.520 I mean I did that. 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.559 I'm the make sure she creates while she's there, like 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:53.560 an s op, right, a scope of work. 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:56.840 Like what like we got it she had about that business. 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:00.000 I had one over the weekend. Yeah that's no, that's excellent. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.760 I'm telling you. We have we have Loom calls. I 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:02.640 don't know if you guys use. 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:05.920 Loom, not calls, but like Loom is like these recordings 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:07.800 that we do now, so it's like to actually show 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:11.080 someone and then you click. It's like some latre like 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:14.400 our like our tech manager on our team kind of 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.200 like got us used to that. It's so helped because 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.679 I'm not techie. So like if I'm like trying to 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:20.640 figure out how to do a thing, we have like 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:22.880 you know, these sets of videos like here's how you 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.600 upload the da da da, Here's how you you know, 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.439 use whatever like tool or resource, and it's just so 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:29.760 helpful those short videos. 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:32.000 I'm like, oh, that's how you use it. 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:39.280 Yeah, Oh that's cute here for the website surely uses loom. 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:40.280 Yes, oh yes, yes, that's why. That's why. No, but 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:42.760 that's great having help. Having help is so good. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:46.240 You sent me like an Instagram post speaking of which, 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:47.280 can we talk about it? 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:51.240 Yes? Ken, we didn't. We have to now, I know 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.040 you're not on ig like you used to be. But 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.360 did you were you aware of it before I sent 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:55.600 you this? 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:57.319 Oh? And so did it blow up? 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.960 Okay, it's it blew up on this person's page. So 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.160 this is and I actually shared it on our stories 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:07.840 just to get some quick feedback from our audience. Because 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.600 so this is a post that Tamika D. Mallory posted. 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.319 And if you have ever heard of the Women's March 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.440 that happened in twenty seventeen after the inauguration of He 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:19.920 who must not be named, Tamika was one of the 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:22.800 founders of that march. And she has become you got 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:26.559 over a million followers on Instagram. She's become a huge 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:31.160 social activist and she does amazing work. Like this woman 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:33.439 is a bad, bad woman, and she I mean in 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.000 a good way, you know what I mean. She's amazing 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:39.920 and I feel what I saw this just pop into 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:42.280 my feed this post that she put up, and I 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.560 will I will read it to you guys too. But 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:49.079 my gut reaction was something about this does not set 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.320 right with me. But before we get into it, because 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.600 it is, you know, she's been getting into it. It has 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:58.959 over four thousand comments on her own page, and it's 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:01.800 starting to make the round on other black influencer pages. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:03.800 But before we get into it, because we do need 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:06.520 to talk about it. I think I just want to 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:09.640 establish that I am not a huge fan of like 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:12.800 cancel people because they said something a bit tone deaf 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:15.320 or whatever. Like this woman has done so much for 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.880 and still does. She just hosted an amazing event in 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.040 Harlem that was free for kids and for families anyway, 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.440 so this maybe was a misstep in my opinion, but 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:27.640 I don't think it at all. It takes away from 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:29.640 her the body of work that she has done and 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.280 how much good she has done. So that's my disclaimer. 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.679 But here's so here's the post. It's one of those 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.240 take a picture of a tweet and post it things 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:41.920 and she says, IDK, who needs to hear this? But 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.439 you're not overwhelmed, you are lazy and unorganized. 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:46.160 Wake up. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:50.560 Earlier, get an agenda, book, create a routine, create boundaries, 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:54.840 say no, stick to your schedule, write down and adhere 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:58.000 to your deadlines. You are standing in your own way. 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.720 Caption said, let me write a caption here, because it 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:05.320 seems people don't understand that every post is not for 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:08.680 every person. There are many people who just need to 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.400 focus on their plan, stay off the internet and prioritize 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.440 and stop being lazy. That's me at times. And this 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:16.559 post is for you if you know you can do better, 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:18.880 and I will. 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:19.320 Leave it there. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.200 And then she liked to she did an updated post 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:22.920 just so you know, like I guess that. The next 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:26.560 post she said she doesn't. Yes, when I read a 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.720 post that says I don't know who needs to hear this? 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:31.560 And then I read the post and it doesn't apply 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.200 to me, I move on. I don't tell the person 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:37.480 who's posting it they are they are wrong about something 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:38.400 they feel is important. 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:40.240 Could it be that it hit you deep? 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:46.160 Now here's the thing, here's what I say. Right, you 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:49.440 are free to post whatever you want, but also people 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.160 are free to respond unless you turned off comments. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:52.800 Right. 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.280 And then two, I don't know, girl, because I have 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.560 been on both sides. We're definitely there's times when I've 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.560 just been straight lazy, you know, and there's times when 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:06.520 I'm overwhelmed, not because I'm actually overworked. I'm overwhelmed because 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:12.000 there's underlying stress that is actually causing me. Like I know, 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:16.480 when I'm a feeling stressed, if one nap is not enough, 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.800 like usually I take maybe like a forty five minute nap. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:21.280 But if I'm like yo, I slept two hours today 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.040 during the day and then I'm still tired and I'm 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:23.600 tired again. 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:25.440 One of the fastest ways. 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:28.720 That my body gives me an indication Tiffany, you are 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:34.280 stressed deeply so borderline depressed. Is I'm sleepy in a 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.920 way that's unnatural. That's not me being lazy. That is 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:42.800 my body saying stop. We are overwhelmed. For whatever he say, 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.600 it doesn't necessarily mean overworked, but we are overwhelmed and 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.000 we are physically slowing you down. 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:49.760 I think she just missed the mark. 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:51.680 I mean, I get what she's saying, because certainly, you know, 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:53.400 there are definitely times when it's like, you know, tiff 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:55.240 you really could do a little bit more, or you 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:58.960 could step up. But to say, here's the thing, I 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:00.600 would have just it would have hit better if it 0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:03.360 was like sometimes we've all been lazy and we need 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:06.359 to get organized, wake up. But to say you're not overwhelmed, 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:09.240 it's like you're making a judgment. You don't know that 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.520 someone's not overwhelmed. You know, you don't know the cause 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:16.160 if they're overwhelmed. It just it's an easy, lazy post. 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:17.640 And then to say, oh well, oh well, oh well, 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:18.840 if it doesn't apply to you, it's like, well, it 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.240 doesn't work that way. It says you posted it publicly, 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.480 so you get addressed publicly, and that's okay. That's just 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:27.200 the way the world works. I can I can freely 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.920 speak and share, and people can freely give me their 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.360 their feedback, you know, so it goes both ways. So 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:35.440 I think that it was like kind of a misstep there, 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.080 although certainly sometimes you know, we need a little kick 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:40.200 in the behind, But I don't know that this is it. 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.320 This is a thing. And this is why I'm kind 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.200 of like, Tiffany, you were right to get off IG, 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:50.000 because this is the danger of being an IG and 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.920 putting yourself you're scrolling through social media land mines is 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.120 how I feel it, and you don't know when you're 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.360 gonna hit one. And I know because as someone who 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:03.840 who deals with anxiety, and not even I will fully 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.320 there's a spectrum of anxiety, and I am on the 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.480 border of having like a diagnosed anxiety disorder. But I 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.439 have managed and have people in my life who truly 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:18.640 have debilitating anxiety disorders that stem from things like sexual assault, 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:22.000 being abused in the past, or they generally just have 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:26.720 an anxiety disorder. And I put myself in the shoes 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.200 of someone and having also dealt with my own anxiety 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:32.240 who is just scrolling through their IG feed and they 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:35.240 see this. And this is where her intention doesn't really matter, 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:39.680 because the thing is the person. Even if she says 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:41.919 this may not be for everybody, everybody is going to 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.560 see it because you posted it publicly and it's very 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.160 You say tough love, and I agree. I have said 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:49.760 things like this to people that I love, a cousin, 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.679 a sibling. I'm the tough love sibling in the family. 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:54.840 Like I call it like it is. I'm like, you know, 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:57.320 which I can do because I think that we have 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.399 such a foundation of love and support, and they know 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.400 that it's coming from that place of love and support. 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.200 And that's why I think that's where like people that 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:07.800 you know personally, I think you can give them that 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.000 tough love and you know. So it sounds like she 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.280 knows some people, maybe three or four or I don't 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.280 know how many who she should have texted this too privately. 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:19.400 I do not think that the entire world and unsuspecting 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:21.520 people who may have been scrolling on their IG feeds 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:24.680 who follow her for her amazing work, deserve to see 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:29.720 something like this, because I just my heart breaks, because 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.680 even I have been someone who had to learn, who 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:36.080 had to learn to be gentle with people who have 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:40.560 anxiety and have mental health issues. I am someone who 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.040 you know, if you're walking too slow, I'm like, just 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:47.479 hurry up, Oh your ankle hurts, you know, like, And 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:49.960 that's because I am so hard on myself for my 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:54.160 own self esteem issues. It's my own like I'm projecting 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:55.960 my insecurity on someone else. 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:56.320