Speaker 1: The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki here. I am welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. I'm Nicki Glazer Nicklaser Podcast. How y'all
Speaker 1: doing out there? I'm untangling some chords, untangling chords. How's
Speaker 1: your how are your chord management? You guys? Andrew's pretty
Speaker 1: good about like his stuff is tangled, Like, man, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen you untangle headphones and truly months and months
Speaker 1: and months, like I don't even know that when we
Speaker 1: were living together, you and you don't have AirPods. But
Speaker 1: really the image of you I have from New York City,
Speaker 1: Andrew is untangling headphones. Yeah, I think because I was
Speaker 1: a dog walker, so I was listening to a lot
Speaker 1: of music. Headphones were out, and I put them in
Speaker 1: my pocket to talk to the owner. And then they
Speaker 1: get in the pocket and they do something in there
Speaker 1: where they start to tango. They start to fool around.
Speaker 1: The next thing you know, they start fucking hard and
Speaker 1: they're not up. Yeah, they're like two little like you know,
Speaker 1: like when two flies fuck each other and you can't
Speaker 1: get up a part or bees or something. Ladybugs or
Speaker 1: what are those bugs that all the time? Fun bugs? No,
Speaker 1: there's no I mean all bugs be funny because they
Speaker 1: love bugs all the time. I love bugs. What do
Speaker 1: you call those little bugs that roll up? You call
Speaker 1: them police? Would you call him? No? Maggots? Do you
Speaker 1: know that maggots? They do it doesn't breath, Yeah, they
Speaker 1: breathe from their butts. I mean they also eat like
Speaker 1: you know, old rotting flesh. That's kind of a more
Speaker 1: interesting or are more like whoa maggots? No, they love it.
Speaker 1: They just show like they get to show up when
Speaker 1: everything seems terrible and they're like that's when they're living
Speaker 1: their best life. So I kind of like the winter
Speaker 1: summer maggots are so disgusting. Do you know? They're like
Speaker 1: baby flies? Right? And a lot of times maggots like
Speaker 1: help protect like when someone I've I watched so many
Speaker 1: like weird like videos online of people getting there like
Speaker 1: you guys know him into ward videos. It's so gross,
Speaker 1: but if you I mean it's I've watched so many
Speaker 1: videos about um uh podiatrists talking about people that have
Speaker 1: neglected feet and like wounds and stuff, and they said
Speaker 1: that they find a lot of times when someone walks
Speaker 1: in with like a you know, a diabetic person who
Speaker 1: has an open wound that they can't even feel anymore,
Speaker 1: and that it's rotting flesh and there's like maggots on it.
Speaker 1: That the maggots are what kept them from getting disease
Speaker 1: because they ate all the stuff that would have been
Speaker 1: a bacterial infection. And like the maggots sometimes keep the
Speaker 1: person alive longer because they're just chomping down on all
Speaker 1: like the gross stuff. It's so gross. What do you
Speaker 1: ever do if you had to? Like, do you know
Speaker 1: sometimes they do um feat no? No, I mean I
Speaker 1: would never eat a bug. I think I ate like
Speaker 1: crickets one time that we're in a chocolate bar as
Speaker 1: like some kind of like you know, they used to
Speaker 1: sell things like this is crickets in it in person,
Speaker 1: And I would go to this place called the Just
Speaker 1: for like ants on a log, and I thought it'd
Speaker 1: be funny to have put ants on the peanut butter.
Speaker 1: I bet you didn't even taste it. Were they just
Speaker 1: very tiny? Yeah, kindergarten, I was eating so much fucking ants. No,
Speaker 1: I um yeah, there was ants on a log which
Speaker 1: was I think raisins on peanut butter and cellery. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I thought it would be funny to throw on
Speaker 1: some I want to buy yourself or to like, was
Speaker 1: your brother there? No, Rusty was there? We got we
Speaker 1: got we know it was Rusty. Rusty was in my
Speaker 1: like it was before this was I was probably hang
Speaker 1: out with like a guy named Dale or something. I
Speaker 1: had this guy named Buck, which is a great name,
Speaker 1: Buck on our softball team. And he bet me, I
Speaker 1: bet him twenty bucks that he wouldn't put his face
Speaker 1: in a fire ant pile and like smash it around.
Speaker 1: I think I have smio used the Buck. He hit
Speaker 1: it though, He just threw his face in his fire
Speaker 1: ampile and just and he got up and he has
Speaker 1: a half a tooth and he hit a softball like six,
Speaker 1: like no bullshit, like siet. This guy was an animal.
Speaker 1: He definitely had killed people. Can you look him up?
Speaker 1: Where is Buck? I don't know it's last thing? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I don't think he had one. Was he
Speaker 1: screaming in horror? No, he loved it. I honestly think
Speaker 1: he would have done it just for kicks. He would
Speaker 1: have bade me money. He would probably do something like
Speaker 1: that for kicks. Yeah. I was like, um, I was
Speaker 1: a kid that would I do something like just to
Speaker 1: get attention? There was that a day, you know, Dave
Speaker 1: to show Dave that was like his who remember that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That was his whole identity as an adolescent is just
Speaker 1: that he's the one that will do insane things, flaming
Speaker 1: his face and like putting. Yeah, and then he kills
Speaker 1: his old self by drowning him and putting. Remember, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like, I don't want to be that guy anymore.
Speaker 1: Who's just the goofy guy that a lot? I bet that?
Speaker 1: Why do you love that show so much? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a Jewish like want like artist that shouldn't be
Speaker 1: an artist. His parents are successful and everyone's telling him
Speaker 1: that he probably shouldn't be doing this because he should
Speaker 1: just be an accountant and his parents don't really get it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: amount you probably were the goopball because the other day
Speaker 1: someone said you were telling us they used to call
Speaker 1: you a sexual ace or something. Just I was just
Speaker 1: a sexual for a lot of mine. But someone called
Speaker 1: you a sexual something like an a sexual. Remember someone
Speaker 1: you were saying that your nickname and I was like,
Speaker 1: You're part of your nickname was a sexual? I just think,
Speaker 1: oh I don't remember. I remember someone hadn't given you
Speaker 1: that moniker and I was like, you guys came up
Speaker 1: with a sexual maybe a sexual dead again virgin or something.
Speaker 1: You were just it was some guy that you like.
Speaker 1: It looks like a Lathar Lethary, Like you were compared
Speaker 1: to some guy that's like a guy that has a
Speaker 1: lot of sex. But they were calling you the a
Speaker 1: sexual blah bla Castanza. Oh, I was in a sexual Costanza.
Speaker 1: Costanza doesn't have a lot of sex, less than but
Speaker 1: he's definitely not a sexual motivated by women. It's so
Speaker 1: funny that you used to and that it wasn't about
Speaker 1: being a sexual. It was about like being anxiety. But
Speaker 1: so often I think we we do that where we
Speaker 1: make up that we are this thing so that it
Speaker 1: it's okay to get away with the thing that we're
Speaker 1: really dealing with, which is a totally different thing. Like
Speaker 1: you weren't a sexual, You just had an anxiety and
Speaker 1: your anxiety about getting HIV or just like we're already
Speaker 1: having it, or like I don't know, my brain kept
Speaker 1: you from having sex, which you shouldn't have kept me
Speaker 1: from having sex because if I thought I had it,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be having sex. But you were still jerking
Speaker 1: off that you weren't a sexual you were still getting
Speaker 1: like bonus and sexual jerk off. They don't have any
Speaker 1: They put their own dick in there, but they don't
Speaker 1: do that. Notes, really, is that what you did? You
Speaker 1: put your own dick in your butt? Been on my
Speaker 1: own nippis through your asshole dick in it? Um, wait,
Speaker 1: tell me again, because you did reference this the other day.
Speaker 1: You once put your penis in your asshole. No, no,
Speaker 1: that was Ian oh Ian finance did that. That's right.
Speaker 1: I tried, you tried. I never got in there. But
Speaker 1: you have to go through their over the balls to travel,
Speaker 1: like through the woods, you pack up a little suitcase
Speaker 1: where like send them off, like I hope you can
Speaker 1: get over that. My dick ran away from my own
Speaker 1: body to my asshole but never made it. It It got
Speaker 1: scared of my God, I see it getting to the
Speaker 1: precipice of it, like to the you know, the edge
Speaker 1: of a volcano, and just being like like about to
Speaker 1: fall in and being so scared more like I want
Speaker 1: to go back. Well, it's because like my dick wouldn't
Speaker 1: even fund my own assholet because my asshole is not
Speaker 1: that attractive, right, My dick is like no, I'm good.
Speaker 1: I'm good. I yeah. I mean, like there's so many
Speaker 1: things I think in my life that I've covered up,
Speaker 1: like because I didn't want the real truth out there, right,
Speaker 1: Like I was just scared of roller coasters or whatever,
Speaker 1: so I used to say I would get sick because
Speaker 1: that's an easier thing to like no one can debate, like, oh,
Speaker 1: my stomach hurts, so I don't want to go on
Speaker 1: the roller coaster as opposed to like I just am
Speaker 1: scared or um, you know, even having an eating disorder
Speaker 1: being like I am. For a while, I was like
Speaker 1: I'm vegan because it was just like, okay, that's an
Speaker 1: excuse to not ever eat anything that's around. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm vegan for different reasons, but a lot of times, uh,
Speaker 1: people needing disorders claimed to be like gluten free, Like
Speaker 1: they just make up things so that they can not
Speaker 1: have to eat things in public with people and not
Speaker 1: make it a thing of like I want to lose weight.
Speaker 1: I you know, I just get so much more hate
Speaker 1: if you're I'm watching my figure. If you said you're
Speaker 1: allergic to alcohol, like I don't. I don't eat sugar.
Speaker 1: It's a choice that I make because I'm just it
Speaker 1: just leads me. I just avoid it because it leads
Speaker 1: me down a road that I don't like. Um, because
Speaker 1: I just can't stop. But um, well, that's so what's
Speaker 1: the difference though that I'm just wondering because like at well,
Speaker 1: for me, it's just that triggers my obsessive thoughts about food.
Speaker 1: When I start eating sugar, I can't stop thinking about
Speaker 1: the sugar I ate. I want more, but I also
Speaker 1: feel terrible that I ate it. It's just like a
Speaker 1: battle that I don't even want to take part in.
Speaker 1: But isn't that battle disorder? Yeah, So I avoid eating
Speaker 1: it because I don't want to feel that The feeling
Speaker 1: comes what I eat it. It doesn't come from not
Speaker 1: eating it, but saying like, I don't want to eat
Speaker 1: sugar because it makes me fatter. It's not about making
Speaker 1: me that would get more. Oh yeah. The other day
Speaker 1: on Perfect Strangers Too, there was some cookies that they
Speaker 1: had for a scene, and they went out of their
Speaker 1: way to make vegans sugar free cookies so that I
Speaker 1: could eat them, And I was like, I just don't
Speaker 1: want cookies. I already had breakfast. I'm gonna have lunch
Speaker 1: right after the scene. I don't want cookies right now,
Speaker 1: regardless of what they're made of. Um, this isn't And
Speaker 1: but I felt pressured to eat the cookies because I'm
Speaker 1: on camera the other actors in the scene or eating cookies,
Speaker 1: and I just I hated it because I because if
Speaker 1: I didn't eat the cookies, then I look like a
Speaker 1: woman who's like dieting, when really it's they'll go, well,
Speaker 1: they're vegan. Why wouldn't you eat them? Then you gotta go,
Speaker 1: well because they're sugar and them, and they go, well,
Speaker 1: they're sugar free, because I don't want to take something
Speaker 1: that doesn't because you know what, people just eat whatever
Speaker 1: the fund is put in front of them. And I'm
Speaker 1: not one of the those people, Like I liked, I
Speaker 1: value my meals. I want what I put in my
Speaker 1: body to be what I want, not what is just
Speaker 1: laying around. But it really has a lot of stigma
Speaker 1: to it if you don't eat, especially if you're a
Speaker 1: thinner woman, who why why why do you mean you
Speaker 1: don't need to not eat these? Just eat them because
Speaker 1: you're already thin, Like it's like that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: It's like um or people do with the alcohol all
Speaker 1: the time. Too. They're like, just have to drinks. Oh,
Speaker 1: you're allergic. It's the same. Yeah, it's the same ship
Speaker 1: of the same like alcoholic. If I said to people,
Speaker 1: I go again, drink alcohol, my body, I have an
Speaker 1: allergic reaction and I'll get really read break out in
Speaker 1: handcuff break. They'll joke people when I stopped drinking. When
Speaker 1: I stopped drinking and all my other friends were drinking
Speaker 1: and we would go out and everything, and people be like, oh, so,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna drink? What are you gonna drink?
Speaker 1: It got easier to like tell people that I was
Speaker 1: an alcoholic, which is why I'm not drinking, than just
Speaker 1: being like I'm not drinking. I like about that. They
Speaker 1: want to bottom, they want to rock bottom to understand,
Speaker 1: because alcoholic is almost the same as saying I am
Speaker 1: a sexual. It just goes right to the being a sexual.
Speaker 1: It's not an easy thing to admit either, but it's
Speaker 1: easier than saying I have anxiety about catching aids uh.
Speaker 1: Saying I'm an alcoholic shuts people up quicker than I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just I realized it wasn't doing for
Speaker 1: me what I wanted it to do anymore, and I
Speaker 1: it doesn't, but just have one. Okay, well that's not
Speaker 1: really it's not even worth it. It's just a whole conversation.
Speaker 1: Alcohol shuts people up. I mean, people always just to
Speaker 1: be like, Nikki, what is all this food? You know
Speaker 1: this was before I like found recovery for eating stuff.
Speaker 1: But they'd be like they make comments and or you know,
Speaker 1: if I was going to eat, if I was beginning
Speaker 1: like my binge, people would see my food and just
Speaker 1: be like, what the hell is this? And I just go, oh,
Speaker 1: I have an eating disorder, you know, Like I just
Speaker 1: I just wanted to cut through it because it's just like,
Speaker 1: shut up. I don't want to explain this. I don't
Speaker 1: want to have to make I don't want to make excuses.
Speaker 1: I just want to tell the truth without and and
Speaker 1: And people get mad though, because they because people take
Speaker 1: everything personally. We have such egos that if something you're
Speaker 1: doing is somehow affects me. If you don't drink, then
Speaker 1: you must think I'm a bad person for drinking. And
Speaker 1: so now I'm mad that you're not drinking, you're not
Speaker 1: eating cookies. Oh my god, Well then you don't want
Speaker 1: a hamburger? Oh you have? You have people go like
Speaker 1: and people get jealous of people who are trying to
Speaker 1: lose weight, which I guess not even cookies always looks
Speaker 1: like you're trying to lose weight. Not my goal. But um,
Speaker 1: other people get mad about that because they're like, well,
Speaker 1: I either they can't do that or they don't want
Speaker 1: to do it, and so they're just like, but you
Speaker 1: have to be like I don't want to have to
Speaker 1: do what you're doing. I felt that. I feel that
Speaker 1: way all the time. About is there any food that
Speaker 1: you fantasize about eating now that you know the other day,
Speaker 1: Robin asked me because I eat really healthy, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I was just wondering, like for you, what would you
Speaker 1: eat if you could just eat anything? And I was like,
Speaker 1: literally this, I don't. I like what I really like.
Speaker 1: What I eat, It like is what I crave. It's
Speaker 1: what I think about when I wake up. I'm eating
Speaker 1: what I want and just so happens. What I want
Speaker 1: is the thing that maybe someone else would go, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that seems so sad. Were similar like that
Speaker 1: where we could eat the same thing every single day. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't fantasize about food. I used to
Speaker 1: fantasize about food. When I starved myself, I would think
Speaker 1: about food twenty four hours a day. That's all I
Speaker 1: would think about. Is just like you know, I remember
Speaker 1: on old Survivor episodes when I watched that show, they
Speaker 1: would just lay around on the sand bank like so tired,
Speaker 1: and they would just go pizza, like can you think
Speaker 1: about like like think about just like melted stringy cheat.
Speaker 1: They would just imagine food. And that was what it
Speaker 1: is like being interactic. You just think about food constantly.
Speaker 1: You watch I watched the Food Network all the time.
Speaker 1: All I wanted to think about was food. And now
Speaker 1: I just I feed myself, so there's no fantasy of food. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's interesting because like with alcohol, like if you you
Speaker 1: you don't drink like non alcoholic beer too, you don't
Speaker 1: have to drink non alcoholic beer to get through a day,
Speaker 1: but you have to eat, so you're whatever you're dealing with,
Speaker 1: that disorder happens every day. Now. Granted I could drink liquids,
Speaker 1: which might remind me of liquor or whatever, but you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like it doesn't you don't have
Speaker 1: to do that every day, But with food, you have
Speaker 1: to do every day. But it's not about the food.
Speaker 1: It's about the feeling. Like if you know I felt
Speaker 1: that way with wheat, you know, like there's it's not
Speaker 1: about like, oh, I'm certainly if you're like starving yourself,
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're close to going off the edge with
Speaker 1: to some foods that might fuck your mind up. But
Speaker 1: if you're if you're satiated and don't have hunger. Um,
Speaker 1: I am drawn to over eating when I'm saciated because
Speaker 1: of feelings, but that has nothing to do with me
Speaker 1: being like I'm depriving myself of food. It's me clicking
Speaker 1: into like I want to fucking push down this feeling
Speaker 1: and this thing tastes good, and I just it's just
Speaker 1: like doing a drug. So it's not motivated by being hungry.
Speaker 1: It's motivated by being unstable, which is something that you
Speaker 1: have to take care of in another way. I had
Speaker 1: a thought the other day. I actually wrote about it
Speaker 1: when I said I was like three years without alcohol
Speaker 1: where I'm like all I want is like a nice
Speaker 1: glass of red wine with a with like a steak,
Speaker 1: And then I thought about it. I was like I've
Speaker 1: never done that, Like I've never done that though, like
Speaker 1: I had these like your mom swimming in the ocean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're romanticizing this thing that has never even happened. If
Speaker 1: you deprive yourself of it for the rest of your life,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter because you never even did. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean is drinking bourbon, reading the paper in
Speaker 1: my study. It's like, no, you don't like you like
Speaker 1: I drink Yeager bombs and threw up on my own
Speaker 1: dick while bragging about football, Like I didn't you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, it's what we see on We
Speaker 1: glamorize these like scenes of drinking on TV and in movies,
Speaker 1: when really the reality is never that for us. Dude,
Speaker 1: every show now has a scene where someone goes to
Speaker 1: a glass even you know, because people you know what
Speaker 1: it is. I don't think people can't smoke anymore on movies,
Speaker 1: so then they just now they have, you know, alcohol.
Speaker 1: That's why it's in every single I mean, mad Men,
Speaker 1: every scene was a guy drinking. But like even now
Speaker 1: though it's like, uh, my kid is uh. Euphoria is
Speaker 1: just it's turned into like a but it's not wrong
Speaker 1: when it is people, No, no, I'm not, You're right.
Speaker 1: It annoys me because it makes it seem like that
Speaker 1: is a normal thing and like the the only way
Speaker 1: to soothe feeling like you just went through a breakup
Speaker 1: or you're mad, you had a rough day. Oh I
Speaker 1: need I need a drink. It's like a punchline when
Speaker 1: someone walks in the room, like does anyone have bourbon?
Speaker 1: You know, like our is that whiskey in there? Give
Speaker 1: me something? Then like chugging it and people go like
Speaker 1: when a fucking woman has just had a long day
Speaker 1: and drinks a bunch or takes a shot because oh
Speaker 1: I got you know, I lost my fucking fucking Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's gonna say, child, but maybe you deserve it then,
Speaker 1: but um, but the thing is it, that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1: Is not like cheers into a bad day. They're numbing pain,
Speaker 1: and so that is accurate, Like that's what it does.
Speaker 1: So it does do that for a while, and then
Speaker 1: the pain is waiting for you with a headache and
Speaker 1: nausea and all the dumb things you texted people the
Speaker 1: next day. The pain is not going away. It's just
Speaker 1: a band aid for it, which is fine in the moment,
Speaker 1: but then you've got to keep drinking to keep it away.
Speaker 1: It will come back up. And that's the thing that
Speaker 1: I don't think those shows. Yeah, look, if the show
Speaker 1: was just like, hey, let's go get you know, like
Speaker 1: how I met your mother where they drink in a
Speaker 1: bar where they're just having like a good time, I'm
Speaker 1: all for that, like whatever. But if it's like I'm
Speaker 1: alone and I'm sad and it's I'm gonna knock back
Speaker 1: three bottles of booze and I'll feel better because I
Speaker 1: did this. Oh man. I used to steal my mom's
Speaker 1: cigarettes on long late at night when I would stay
Speaker 1: up all night writing an essay senior year of high school. Person,
Speaker 1: I would go steal them and sit on the front
Speaker 1: porch and just like be like, God's fucking roth writing
Speaker 1: to say about King. Why does it You're like a detective,
Speaker 1: like having to stay upon nighting you got And I
Speaker 1: remember look at my dogs Speedo and just be like,
Speaker 1: can you get it? Speed I just like stare him
Speaker 1: down and like he'd be out in the yard and
Speaker 1: I'd be like God, and I feel so like I
Speaker 1: felt like it was in a movie. It's like crying
Speaker 1: in the show. Sometimes in the shower, I imagine I'm
Speaker 1: in a movie. To just get the tears going like
Speaker 1: the we are so motivated and everything we do by entertainment.
Speaker 1: Let's get Let's take a break and come back and
Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about this. Andrew, we're back.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you what I just did. What
Speaker 1: do you mean so I picked you up this morning
Speaker 1: and we tell you were at Starbucks? I picked you
Speaker 1: a scoop up then yea vents. Yeah, some people said
Speaker 1: they got my drink order recently and they said it
Speaker 1: was pretty damn good. Listen, I'm not wrong, it's good, simple,
Speaker 1: I just haven't. I do have anxiety about people trying
Speaker 1: the things I eat, because the things I eat are
Speaker 1: always everyone just looks at them like they're so sad.
Speaker 1: So I think that when people do the things I do,
Speaker 1: they're going to go, this is your life, even though
Speaker 1: I like it. Does that make sense? Yes it does,
Speaker 1: But I think it'd be like someone trying the sex
Speaker 1: move that you talked about, where you do like the
Speaker 1: reverse cowgirl with your open and someone did that and goes,
Speaker 1: that's stupid. My dick doesn't need to like whenever, when
Speaker 1: has ever anyone copied you and said that's this tastes
Speaker 1: like ship? So many times people have looked at my
Speaker 1: food and gone, oh my god. That's they just judge
Speaker 1: it by looking at So I'm scared that once they
Speaker 1: try it, they'll be like, oh my god, Whereas if
Speaker 1: they don't try it, I can always just be like,
Speaker 1: well it does taste good. You just don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: there is the guy that like or the girl that like,
Speaker 1: I get chicken parm how are you going to get it?
Speaker 1: You know, they're at dinner and they get mad. Stand
Speaker 1: when people do that. I mean, I think I've been
Speaker 1: very clear about that that I'm always the last to
Speaker 1: order because I never want and I have had so
Speaker 1: many times where people go, actually, I'm going to change
Speaker 1: my order hers and I blood starts trickling out of
Speaker 1: my mind. No. I do want to eat when I
Speaker 1: want to eat, But I just feel like they think
Speaker 1: that they think that what I ordered will work for them,
Speaker 1: when really I have mine has gone through rigorous testing
Speaker 1: to get to the point where I know what I want.
Speaker 1: I am so so it's like someone getting a special
Speaker 1: in their first year of comedy, just like you like
Speaker 1: on HBO, and they haven't worked as hard. I am
Speaker 1: a unique person who has you taste, and I just
Speaker 1: don't think that that person is honoring what they really want.
Speaker 1: They just are trying to be someone else is my
Speaker 1: thing and I and I think that that makes me
Speaker 1: mad because it's like I I, it just makes me
Speaker 1: sad for them, and it makes me, I think mad
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, if it honestly sounds good to you,
Speaker 1: that's fine, But like I think you're just trying to
Speaker 1: be me a little bit, and I think it's just
Speaker 1: a little bit sad, and it shows me like it
Speaker 1: just it makes me not respect you as much because
Speaker 1: there's no way you want what I just ordered. It's
Speaker 1: so weird and so are so specific, exactly the whole
Speaker 1: ship food food, no Starbucks, yeah, but like starbugs. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't drink that much coffee. I was in a
Speaker 1: big coffee head throughout my whole and yeah, I get
Speaker 1: coffee black with two sugars. I don't know how to
Speaker 1: examined why it bothers me so much when people it,
Speaker 1: but I think it's because I there, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: like this, Just get what you like. Don't you know
Speaker 1: what you like? It makes me I didn't know what, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it makes me? What's about respect? It's not even about.
Speaker 1: It's not even because people want people to know what
Speaker 1: they because I want people to get what they want,
Speaker 1: not what they think. I want them to get that.
Speaker 1: But that's not why I get it. I'm telling you
Speaker 1: that you when you say, oh, that sounds good, I
Speaker 1: want to try it, But I think, why can't you
Speaker 1: look at a menu and go, like, actually, that sound
Speaker 1: I feel? It's so much where like sometimes I'll go
Speaker 1: with oat milk because if I go with almond milk,
Speaker 1: which I actually do like to taste better, you'll think, well,
Speaker 1: I actually told you that it was less calories one time,
Speaker 1: and you're not going to oat milk, which you really
Speaker 1: want to oat milk, or you would get me soy
Speaker 1: milk instead of almond milk at times. So yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's not the same because I just I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm doing something for that is for my sanity, and
Speaker 1: you're trying it's gonna fuck you. That's what it's about.
Speaker 1: That's what I was asking. I was like, I think
Speaker 1: it's about it's like your own specific order that that
Speaker 1: you're doing it for your like because of of I
Speaker 1: don't know, like your sanity, like right, but for me
Speaker 1: it's just like it's just a call, Like I'm not
Speaker 1: even thinking. I'm just like, oh, that sounds pretty good,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I always go like, but you always liked
Speaker 1: the taste of this thing. Why are you switching to
Speaker 1: this other thing? Because you think it's more like I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to avoid people doing diety things. Yes, you
Speaker 1: don't like other people doing diety things. Yes, but I
Speaker 1: do diety things not because I'm trying to lose weight,
Speaker 1: but because I know that they'll funk up my mind,
Speaker 1: Whereas I think other people that I don't think you
Speaker 1: have eating disorder issues. So I'm just like, why not
Speaker 1: enjoy the thing that you actually want. You don't have
Speaker 1: sugar issues, so why wouldn't you get the thing that
Speaker 1: has something that will make it taste better in the
Speaker 1: moment for you because you like the taste of things
Speaker 1: that taste. But here's the thing I am currently, I'm overweight, right,
Speaker 1: Like if you had to say, like what my weight
Speaker 1: should be by a doctor's standpoint, and like what my
Speaker 1: cholesterol is, I should be probably founds lighter. It's fine,
Speaker 1: it is what it is, right, So if I decide, hey,
Speaker 1: I want a salad, I don't want to eat that bread, right,
Speaker 1: and then if you get offended by me not eating
Speaker 1: the bread, you're like, well, you should enjoy the bread.
Speaker 1: You like bread, but I also probably should be healthier,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with you, but it projects onto other people's eating. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I definitely, which is fine because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, like, I just want people to be happy,
Speaker 1: and like you don't want them to feel like, feel deprived.
Speaker 1: You want people to diet around me. I hate people
Speaker 1: dieting around me. It just really because for me, diet
Speaker 1: equals they're hungry and miserable and distracted and not present.
Speaker 1: And like, I just know when people if I watch
Speaker 1: you just have a salad that has no protein, no cheese,
Speaker 1: minimal dressing, I just know you're gonna be hungry. If
Speaker 1: I have a salad what I eat, if I watch
Speaker 1: what you, you would be pissed because I can't help it.
Speaker 1: I'm just admitting what's no, no, no, I'm angry about
Speaker 1: this at all. I'm just saying, like you say, I'm
Speaker 1: angry about it. You just had a little salent. No,
Speaker 1: I had eggs, fruit and cereal. What I'm just saying
Speaker 1: is I don't want to be around people who are
Speaker 1: dieting because not because they're getting thinner than me. And
Speaker 1: I'm jealous that they're doing this thing because I know
Speaker 1: they're not going to be present. They're going to I
Speaker 1: know what it's like to be hungry, They're going to
Speaker 1: be distracted, They're not going to be as good a
Speaker 1: good and as good of a mood, and I don't
Speaker 1: want to be around you. So honestly, it makes me
Speaker 1: want to just leave a situation when I'm with people
Speaker 1: who have not eaten enough and I can't help it,
Speaker 1: but I do know how much people have eaten. And
Speaker 1: if I'm with people for seven hours, I know if
Speaker 1: someone because they start getting cranky, I can tell you.
Speaker 1: I can tell if you've eaten breakfast in the morning
Speaker 1: when we when I when we do this podcast, I
Speaker 1: can tell already. Did you think you knew I ate breakfast? Well,
Speaker 1: I told you I ate breakfast. No, but I just
Speaker 1: knew you did, because there's I just I just knew
Speaker 1: because there was just I just I'm so in tune
Speaker 1: with that stuff that I just know and I don't,
Speaker 1: and then I feel guilty when I want to leave
Speaker 1: a situation because people are dieting, because that's not when
Speaker 1: people go why do you want to leave? I just
Speaker 1: I guess I could just say I don't feel good,
Speaker 1: because it's truth is I don't. I just say, wait,
Speaker 1: So what happened at Starbucks? So we went to Starbucks?
Speaker 1: I mean, this is what it is, went to the
Speaker 1: A t M machine a t M machine machine machine,
Speaker 1: and we I'm at the A t M and the
Speaker 1: A t M is right next to a like one
Speaker 1: of those guys. It's like, hey, you want to go
Speaker 1: out on a watch it, you want to go para sailing,
Speaker 1: you want to go zip planning. I got adventures for you,
Speaker 1: like one of those kiosks. Because there's a lot a
Speaker 1: lot of tourists in this area. At the t M,
Speaker 1: it's I already said hi to the guy who's calling
Speaker 1: people in, and I'm pressing the buttons trying to figure
Speaker 1: out how many paces and doing the conversion and stuff.
Speaker 1: And then this guy comes up to the window to
Speaker 1: talk to the woman about excursions and he's like, I
Speaker 1: wanna I want to swim with dolphins. I want my
Speaker 1: kids swim with dolphins. And I just I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: just like looking, and then and then the woman is
Speaker 1: opening the brochure and he's like, so, how much does
Speaker 1: this trip? And I go, don't do that. Oh, I
Speaker 1: just want you to know. They abuse those dolphins, and
Speaker 1: that a family vacation. He was. The family wasn't with him.
Speaker 1: He goes what and I go, they abuse those dolphins.
Speaker 1: They're meant to be wild animals in there in a
Speaker 1: tank and their lives are miserable. Just so you know,
Speaker 1: I know it seems fun, but I swear to God,
Speaker 1: going to see I said, whale watching is probably just
Speaker 1: as much money, and it's and it's out in the
Speaker 1: wild and you're not disturbing, and you're witnessing a wild
Speaker 1: animal who's happy. What did he do? I gave him.
Speaker 1: It's not like I was being rude. I was saying.
Speaker 1: I was saying, fact, invitables are abuse, and also your
Speaker 1: kids will get so much more enjoyment out of seeing
Speaker 1: a wild animal and that and they aren't contributing. I
Speaker 1: didn't say all that, but I go, I think, I go,
Speaker 1: whale watching is incredible. You can see a live animal
Speaker 1: that's not abused. And he just goes, okay, um, I
Speaker 1: want to I want my kids to swim with dolphins
Speaker 1: and says back to the woman, because I just want
Speaker 1: to swim with some dolphins that I was insane, and
Speaker 1: you know what, I did not care. It was very awkward.
Speaker 1: It was not something I wanted to do. I don't
Speaker 1: want confrontation. I don't want to make someone feel bad
Speaker 1: about what they're gonna do. I really don't. I just
Speaker 1: want to give people facts. And obviously I offered a solution.
Speaker 1: I wasn't just like you're a bad person. I was
Speaker 1: just like, hey, here's some information. Totally fine, but here's
Speaker 1: another thing you could do. And he just goes. He
Speaker 1: looked at me like I was crazy, and then just goes,
Speaker 1: my kids want to swim with dolphins, and though and
Speaker 1: he goes back to the brochure, and I was just
Speaker 1: like okay, and I just went back to the A T. M.
Speaker 1: And then it didn't work and I and then he
Speaker 1: but I will say, he has no He walked away
Speaker 1: from the booth without doing the dolphin thing. He looked
Speaker 1: at the brochure and then he because I think he
Speaker 1: didn't want to kid did get to him. I'm not
Speaker 1: kidding you, and I bet you anything. He went back
Speaker 1: to his kids, and let's say his kids have a
Speaker 1: little bit more empathy than he doesn't went back to
Speaker 1: his kids and was like, some crazy lady just told
Speaker 1: me they abused the dolphins. Maybe his daughter goes, say what,
Speaker 1: and maybe she'll google it and learn and say I'm
Speaker 1: not going. You know, it could could create a ripple effect,
Speaker 1: or it could create you know, trump. I believe in
Speaker 1: it even harder. Fuck the dolphins. Yeah, listen, a lot
Speaker 1: of people, I wish I would have swum with dolphins
Speaker 1: before I learned it was a bad thing to do.
Speaker 1: It seems like a real fun thing. But we both
Speaker 1: wanted to be see world people. Because I went to
Speaker 1: see world. Once I go I want to do I
Speaker 1: want to ride a fucking whale. Is the way it
Speaker 1: felt about, Like the leaked nudes of celebrities. I wish
Speaker 1: I would have looked before I knew it was bad
Speaker 1: to look. You know, it's an invasion of their privacy,
Speaker 1: so you can't look. But I'm like, God, damn it.
Speaker 1: I that's the way I say about drinking. I'm like,
Speaker 1: if you haven't quit drinking yet, you're going to at
Speaker 1: some point, you're gonna If you're aware of self aware enough. Person,
Speaker 1: you clearly have a problem. Person who gets hung over constantly.
Speaker 1: Just enjoy your life right now, have fun, gets drunk
Speaker 1: and fuck fucking ride it off. Funk it dolphin. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing I was thinking about this analogy the whole time.
Speaker 1: A Guys, when we put our dick to our assholes,
Speaker 1: we don't want to necessarily, We just want to see
Speaker 1: if we can. And it's the same thing as taking
Speaker 1: your tongue and seeing if you can touch your nose.
Speaker 1: It's the same exact feeling a guy gets. You can't
Speaker 1: do it. What touch your dick to your nose ahole
Speaker 1: from around go around my head and around the back.
Speaker 1: People that can do that, but to touch their like
Speaker 1: their own assholes, Oh yeah, yeah, it's incredible. Is it
Speaker 1: like sexual? When you see that? When you see women
Speaker 1: that are like really bendy, I always know that, Like
Speaker 1: if a woman to do a little, guys are like
Speaker 1: whoa sex. Some girls will like put their legs so far,
Speaker 1: like literally like and like then their vagina is like here,
Speaker 1: and it's it's a little like whoa she could follower
Speaker 1: like like circus, it's too circus, like almost yeah, it's
Speaker 1: almost like circus. So what did you call you? Which
Speaker 1: makes sense like it's like it sounds like it's French French,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like Spanish circ c I R qu
Speaker 1: E do do you sol s O L E I
Speaker 1: L which is get to the news. I got a
Speaker 1: piece so bad. Sorry your first welcome back from the bathroom. Man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just went to the bathroom. I realize you have
Speaker 1: a bathtub in your bedroom, yes, which is wild on it?
Speaker 1: I did. I pissed in it, and then I took
Speaker 1: a ship in your shower. But don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: Your shower is in your clots. No. I was just
Speaker 1: saying to you that you either you're rich. When you're rich,
Speaker 1: your bathtubs in your bedroom, when you're poor you're in
Speaker 1: New York, and your showers in your kitchen. I remember
Speaker 1: my buddy Casey and J. F. Harris or something, I
Speaker 1: forget it. They had a shower in their kitchen, like
Speaker 1: full on shower in their kitchen. Oh my god, so gross,
Speaker 1: so funny. It's kind of cool though, you could like
Speaker 1: cook eggs. Well, fucking I. Have you ever eaten in
Speaker 1: the shower? Eaten in the shower? Yeah? Yeah, I had
Speaker 1: a beer in the shower. I mean that was my
Speaker 1: whole twenties. You might as well just gonn Well it
Speaker 1: was just yeah, I drink beer once a week. All right,
Speaker 1: what's the first news story? That news? Here it comes?
Speaker 1: I saw. Actually, someone wrote me a messager like, can
Speaker 1: no one read the news because you seem to not
Speaker 1: like get through it? And I was like, we could try.
Speaker 1: Will you try reading the news? Yeah? No, you read
Speaker 1: the news and will react. Yeah. I like that. It's
Speaker 1: not a bad idea, it really is. Honestly I read it.
Speaker 1: I didn't get offended at all. I go, yeah, I
Speaker 1: got a point. Listens and no one's got a good
Speaker 1: news voice. That's just knowing yourself, no one. I like
Speaker 1: the way Andrew reads the news, even if it's quirky.
Speaker 1: That's such a sweet way to say it. I have
Speaker 1: all the swell, by the way, and it's Wednesday, so
Speaker 1: you know, what's the news today. Let's try something new, okay.
Speaker 1: Um Beach goers witness a fifteen foot shark kill a
Speaker 1: swimmer in Sydney. People who were fishing off the nearby
Speaker 1: shoreline heard the swimmers screaming terror and saw the entire
Speaker 1: attack unfold god in a video, A shark was lurking around,
Speaker 1: and the guy recording gilled out, someone just got eaten
Speaker 1: by a shark. Oh man, Oh no, that's insane. Police
Speaker 1: say when they arrived they could still see human remains
Speaker 1: in the water. Oh my god, wait do they know
Speaker 1: who it is? They haven't identified the person who was
Speaker 1: eaten just yet. Fuck? What kind of can we see
Speaker 1: the video? Or is it really scary? And like is
Speaker 1: it all blurred out? I think it's the guy that
Speaker 1: didn't swim with the dolphins he went on the whale.
Speaker 1: He's like, you know what, I'll swim in the wild.
Speaker 1: It's better, don't abused. Oh my god, that's so fucking sad.
Speaker 1: And so do you do? Do you take out your
Speaker 1: camera and fucking film? Dude? What do you do if
Speaker 1: you see someone being eaten by shark? I mean nothing.
Speaker 1: I don't have the ability to do anything about that.
Speaker 1: Like it's it's kind of like I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I boy, they witnessed him, like the guy
Speaker 1: was screaming that he was a man already like dead.
Speaker 1: Uh they heard a scream and then when the police
Speaker 1: arrived there were body parts in the wall. Oh god,
Speaker 1: there's a video of it. Fuck yeah, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: waits again, can we see surfer? It's gonna be blurry.
Speaker 1: It's right there. Oh there's a big blowtout blurred out
Speaker 1: like body and then the birds land on it. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, the birds are all going crazy around it.
Speaker 1: Well that's a big blur. It is insane. Oh no, god, okay,
Speaker 1: this is probably Do you want me to stop it.
Speaker 1: I can't keep going. Oh my god, dude, you see
Speaker 1: like big, Oh my god, Wow, Glazer is definitely going
Speaker 1: to try to find that unblurred footage. Do you think
Speaker 1: there's another shark being? Like? God, you ate what I
Speaker 1: wanted to eat? Oh my god, we just ran out.
Speaker 1: That was the last one we had. Sorry, you know
Speaker 1: what I like? Yeah, we just ran out of human swimming.
Speaker 1: Man a swimming who's swimming? Where the shark like surf? Well,
Speaker 1: I don't blame the victim, dude, don't blame the victim.
Speaker 1: This is the circle of life that guy was. Let
Speaker 1: me just say though, that was some really deep rough
Speaker 1: water that that guy was swimming in. Maybe he was
Speaker 1: out there surfing. Did that look like surfing? Dimes? Oh fuck, dude,
Speaker 1: oh you know what? Like I can't wait till we
Speaker 1: find out about this guy what his life was like.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to anyone who was affected by that.
Speaker 1: It's so so sad. And I will try to watch
Speaker 1: this footage. I don't know, there's something about I've never
Speaker 1: even seen Jaws, that movie because I'm so scared of
Speaker 1: stuff like the documentary. But I um, okay, I'll stop.
Speaker 1: This sucks, No, this really sucks. Would you want to
Speaker 1: watch the actual footage of that because we just saw
Speaker 1: the blur? No, no, no, would you want to go
Speaker 1: find the actually probably watch it. I generally don't like
Speaker 1: to see scary things, but that one, I just like,
Speaker 1: that is so fucking that really strikes my more. But curiosity, yeah,
Speaker 1: it does me too. If it was on TikTok in
Speaker 1: the background music was like a BC you know, like
Speaker 1: a fun song, oh no no no no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no whatever that if it's like a fun dance outside
Speaker 1: of you know, balance or someone just like where it's
Speaker 1: in the background, in the person's head is like hearing
Speaker 1: that guy going oh no, I hate talks where they
Speaker 1: go over the green screen, like they'll be showing a
Speaker 1: clip and they'll go like and then if they're like
Speaker 1: interrupting it with their big stupid head. I hate those
Speaker 1: like reactionary videos. That's a reactionary video. I mean, I
Speaker 1: just think that the It's just there's some things on
Speaker 1: TikTok that I don't understand why they're popular because they
Speaker 1: look such ship what's annoying to me. Technology is so good,
Speaker 1: and some things look so like the ones that even
Speaker 1: the woman's voice of like I tried to trick my
Speaker 1: husband into thinking that I was an intruder. It's like,
Speaker 1: why don't you just say it? Yeah? Also, it's really
Speaker 1: funny to be like you're putting your head in an
Speaker 1: already very captivating video, like it's one thing to do
Speaker 1: reactionary video, do a song or whatever, but like you know,
Speaker 1: guy's getting eaten by his shark, and you're like they
Speaker 1: can never do it smoothly. They're always come in like
Speaker 1: it's never like a smooth they don't ever go like
Speaker 1: it like I'm gonna make this shark getting eating about
Speaker 1: me and the camera shaky like it just it boggles
Speaker 1: my I just don't understand what that person that that
Speaker 1: that kind of thing on top. I don't know how
Speaker 1: to do it. I would probably be very easy because
Speaker 1: everyone can do it. But yeah, Okay, that was insane
Speaker 1: and I'm really really sorry. But like I want to
Speaker 1: I'm I'm interested in more details. I mean, there are
Speaker 1: some stories that I'm on the edge of my fucking
Speaker 1: seat about, like what's going to happen X, Like I
Speaker 1: know that we're going to find out who that guy
Speaker 1: was more about the story. There's probably gonna be more
Speaker 1: footage that comes out. I do though, if I ever
Speaker 1: get eaten by a shark. I wanted to be in
Speaker 1: Australia because I want when people say no for it
Speaker 1: to say no, no, no, no no I. It sounds
Speaker 1: much more satisfying. I love an Australian. No. It's all
Speaker 1: you have to do to do in Australia. No. The
Speaker 1: trick is you take the word of NOI and you
Speaker 1: take off the first uh and you just say no,
Speaker 1: no no no no I just say no I, no no,
Speaker 1: no no and just do it more like no no
Speaker 1: no no were it sounds like you're mocking my name.
Speaker 1: No no no. Alright, next news story, No you did great,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was so good. And she even
Speaker 1: did a dramatization in her voice that was you know
Speaker 1: what I'm always afraid you're gonna cut me off, so
Speaker 1: I get afraid that I'm not getting through it in time.
Speaker 1: A good point. I probably would, but you're not going
Speaker 1: to cut off Noah. Noah doesn't feel that because I'm
Speaker 1: compelled to hear the end of the sentence like aft sharp,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to read as I'm like no, NICKI no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're annoying me. All right, here we go, Okay. A
Speaker 1: girl who went missing more than two years ago at
Speaker 1: the age of four was found alive by police hidden
Speaker 1: underneath a staircase in a New York home. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's the greatest. Detective detectives removed several of the wooden
Speaker 1: steps in a basement, and that is when detectives saw
Speaker 1: a pair of tiny feet. After removing several more steps,
Speaker 1: the child and her abductor were discovered within. The space
Speaker 1: was small, cold, and wet. Authorities believe she was taken
Speaker 1: by her non custodial parents, and police had previously followed
Speaker 1: leads to the residents where she was ultimately found, but
Speaker 1: said that each time the residents had denied any knowledge
Speaker 1: of the girl's whereabouts. So they go, why would they
Speaker 1: even take apart the staircase. It was just because it
Speaker 1: needed Like, the cops went over and we're like, it's
Speaker 1: a little creeky, We're going to back and fix with
Speaker 1: fix it. Oh, so they were looking for her and
Speaker 1: they had a feeling that they must have gotten Yeah,
Speaker 1: they must have gotten a lead that there was something
Speaker 1: happening in the basement underneath the staircase. Where in New
Speaker 1: York or like no, no, no, it's like some city
Speaker 1: like upstate christ I mean I always think about that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, all the women right now that are or
Speaker 1: you know, men, but mostly women who are in some
Speaker 1: fucking psychos chamber. Do you want to see what it
Speaker 1: looks like? It's it's kind of yes, I'd rather watch
Speaker 1: a shark attack again. There is a panda pillow that
Speaker 1: is like, looks like it's crying. It looks like from
Speaker 1: South Park And oh that's so said, And the captor
Speaker 1: was in there with her fucking disgusted. Everyone want be quiet? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that poor baby. What the rent was
Speaker 1: in New York for their Oh yeah, I mean is
Speaker 1: there a shower in there? Um that little staircase part
Speaker 1: that's got to be at least Yeah, there's a little
Speaker 1: like girls boot next to it. Oh my god, imagine
Speaker 1: the guy getting into the stairs picked up and he's like,
Speaker 1: oh we just I'm just here, like he's trying to
Speaker 1: still get out of it, like it's the most obvious thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a oxen free Marco. My grandpa used to do this
Speaker 1: thing where we would play. He would we'd play hide
Speaker 1: and seek, and then he would never come look for us.
Speaker 1: That's so and my parents loved it. My parents would
Speaker 1: laugh so hard, and I knew there was something up
Speaker 1: about this game because my parents would go Bob play
Speaker 1: hide and seek with the kids and they'd laugh and
Speaker 1: laugh and laugh. And I didn't hide that long because
Speaker 1: I was onto them eventually. But he would just have
Speaker 1: us go high high and then he never come find us.
Speaker 1: And then you just gets kind of genius. It's like
Speaker 1: when I used to play a doctor with kids. I
Speaker 1: babysat for where I was like, you have to you
Speaker 1: can just like I'm a dead patient and you have
Speaker 1: to operate on me, and then I get to take
Speaker 1: a nap. I just get to lay there about kids
Speaker 1: like where like just my knee, you're gonna you're a
Speaker 1: knee surgeon and they just like tinker on my knee. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: How long was it long as you think you hit
Speaker 1: four before you really probably ten minutes. I mean, kids,
Speaker 1: attention spans are not that. It just me. I think
Speaker 1: I caught on quicker than I just knew something was
Speaker 1: up because my dad was laughing too hard. You can't
Speaker 1: oh sorry, go ahead. Oh. I was gonna ask if
Speaker 1: you have like a go to spot. I think I
Speaker 1: always picked closets and clothes and I would hide. I
Speaker 1: would try to hide on top of something and then
Speaker 1: hide within the clothes. But I also have like I
Speaker 1: used to come up with ideas for because I was
Speaker 1: so obsessed with being kidnapped and like someone breaking into
Speaker 1: my house and like someone and where I would hide.
Speaker 1: And I came up with an idea for um, under
Speaker 1: the bed. You would have a bed that is very
Speaker 1: high off the ground, and it would have a chain
Speaker 1: like a storage unit that you could hide in up.
Speaker 1: So you go under the bed and then you climb
Speaker 1: up into a little recessed thing that hung down and
Speaker 1: you would be able to stay there and protect yourself
Speaker 1: from intruders. And I used to think, I'll make my
Speaker 1: bed after I get out of it. To make it
Speaker 1: look like no one was in it and then go
Speaker 1: under and I could sell these beds to make people
Speaker 1: feel so. As a child, I came up with many
Speaker 1: inventions like this. Um also one where you have a
Speaker 1: long tube that you put your cigarette on so that
Speaker 1: you could smoke in the car with kids, but your
Speaker 1: kids won't get a headache and the cigarette would go
Speaker 1: out the window and then you would suck it and
Speaker 1: then you would have another tribe where you would blow
Speaker 1: out the smoke and it would go out the car.
Speaker 1: Everything about just putting a smaller contraption on top of
Speaker 1: the scuba snorkele. No I did it. That could have worked.
Speaker 1: Did you ever do the thing where you go they go, hey,
Speaker 1: I bet you can't get that in twenty seconds, and
Speaker 1: yeah you end up like kids you just like, but
Speaker 1: you can't. You just make them wrong, back and forth,
Speaker 1: run around to tire them divorced. That's what my dad
Speaker 1: didn't to me. I got it done to uh Noah.
Speaker 1: What's our last news story? Okay? All right. Mark Zuckerberg,
Speaker 1: who is on a rebranding mission, announced that employees at
Speaker 1: the social media giant will now refer to each other
Speaker 1: as metamates metamates because the metaverse like veggie mite metamates.
Speaker 1: I mean, does he want us to like him? Ever?
Speaker 1: That is the I just like someone that gets made
Speaker 1: fun of so much for being so lame. Why would
Speaker 1: you ever think that would make He's David Koresh. If
Speaker 1: David Koresh had a billion dollars like he has the
Speaker 1: same but because he has so much money, everyone's just
Speaker 1: like we're metamates like money and power equally, like a
Speaker 1: thought that you wonder if they thought it was cool
Speaker 1: that his employees, you know, I wonder if they all
Speaker 1: kind of sneaker to themselves besties that are like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like is it well, we know
Speaker 1: that besties is like the thing that people say besties
Speaker 1: all the time, is I rolly? And it's just like
Speaker 1: but I we kind of took that from that, Yes,
Speaker 1: took that from its fans meta mads from my cop No, No,
Speaker 1: I can't meta mades. It's this is all over the
Speaker 1: internet yesterday. I read it so many places. I didn't
Speaker 1: know what playoff of. Oh yeah, go ahead, and Noah, sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm reading your launch okay. Um. The term is apparently
Speaker 1: a play on the naval inspired slogan. Use that Instagram
Speaker 1: ship shipmates self. I don't know what that means, the
Speaker 1: word mates. You never want to throw that into something
Speaker 1: because mate, it just is like playmate any mate. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He just wants control over people. That's all it's about.
Speaker 1: And I love that Social Network movie. Though he was
Speaker 1: he was good in that. He wasn't even then it,
Speaker 1: but I liked I liked that movie. So Jesse Eisenberg,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that movie is so good. It's also
Speaker 1: so Jesse Eisenberg's great. He plays that like weird kind
Speaker 1: of smart character. I wonder if he's smarting life. He is,
Speaker 1: he is, but mostly like most actors, Abdy's a little
Speaker 1: bit boring. He lives in Wisconsin and he loves stand
Speaker 1: up apparently really Okay, Hi does he see me? And
Speaker 1: I'm going to Wisconsin on my tour. I got a
Speaker 1: lot of dates coming up. By the way, Where are
Speaker 1: we going? Austin? Uh, Jacksonville another place in Florida. Um,
Speaker 1: I kind of want to stay at the hotel where Bob.
Speaker 1: I just want to. I think I'm playing the same
Speaker 1: venue that Bob played on the last night before he died.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I I just for some reason,
Speaker 1: I want to like stay at the same hotel. Is
Speaker 1: this what's is that weird of me? Yeah? It is right.
Speaker 1: Just there's something about like the like you know, on Reddit,
Speaker 1: I follow like last images, like I just like to
Speaker 1: hear like the last thing this person did the last
Speaker 1: like mike, this guy to use the same Mike he grabbed,
Speaker 1: like I want to just like I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is. I don't know. I mean, I'm sure he
Speaker 1: wouldn't be happy about that. No, I think he. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think I I reasoned everything. Every time I make
Speaker 1: a Bob saggage like guy, sometimes I'm like, I make
Speaker 1: jokes referencing what happened to him because it's I think
Speaker 1: it's like, honestly, I think he would chuckle at it,
Speaker 1: and I think he would make the same joke if
Speaker 1: some other comedian died for stuff and then the same
Speaker 1: brass he'd go it's horrible, but also this is hilarious.
Speaker 1: We make jokes because we're in pain. Let's go to
Speaker 1: break and come back again. No, that was a great job.
Speaker 1: Can I just say one thing? All our mena mate,
Speaker 1: uh menamates? Don't you call them that? Okay, I know,
Speaker 1: no it's better than me. I don't need messages telling
Speaker 1: me that I know. Okay, Yes, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I don't just like that either. We are back from break.
Speaker 1: We do not Andrew does not need to hear that
Speaker 1: Noah's better. We're going to keep in the news segment.
Speaker 1: And it's not because she's better. It's like we need
Speaker 1: more no one the show anyway. She she organizes the
Speaker 1: news stories anyway for you to read. So it's just
Speaker 1: this is less work for you to do, and we
Speaker 1: have more. You can now react more. So I'm not
Speaker 1: even going to pick the stories anywhere. I don't even
Speaker 1: think you need to. I trust Noah. Noah. I okay,
Speaker 1: Andrew picks the stories, but I kind of like you
Speaker 1: not knowing the stories and reacting with me. How about this,
Speaker 1: though Noah might write one line that I still get
Speaker 1: to say in the news, Oh, I like that word.
Speaker 1: Hate that. No you always give him the most sentence. Alright,
Speaker 1: Let's I don't do it intentionally, can we do? Why
Speaker 1: do I care? Yes? I think you'll really like why
Speaker 1: do I care? I have a feeling I will I
Speaker 1: just why do I care? Why do I care? Um?
Speaker 1: All right, so this is from BuzzFeed. I totally stole it.
Speaker 1: It's time for you to figure out if these quotes
Speaker 1: are from Taylor Swift or Shakespeare. I'm gonna do it me, bitch. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like if you don't get this right, you
Speaker 1: should lose your tailor cards. I will say though, that
Speaker 1: I am not familiar with her first album, Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: I do not have that one memorize Shakespeare. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: if if it's either Taylor was first album or Sakespeare
Speaker 1: or Taylor Swift the last eight albums, all right, let's go.
Speaker 1: I don't want to look at you know, I do
Speaker 1: I know Big Beth, king Lear and Roman and Juliet.
Speaker 1: All right, first one, Long were the nights when my
Speaker 1: days once were led around you? Long were the nights
Speaker 1: when my days once revolved around you? Do you think
Speaker 1: it's Hamlet? Okay? Pretty in the Okay, so it's Taylor
Speaker 1: al right? Next okay, next one, he wore a scarf,
Speaker 1: the old boat tug bug. You know what, even whatever,
Speaker 1: something mighty sword has fallen into my chest. My blood exists.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we should try to quote Shakespeare and
Speaker 1: try to get anything right. Okay, No, I keep going. Okay,
Speaker 1: cowards die many times before their deaths Shakespeare. Takespeare. It's
Speaker 1: the only thing that I could think of that while
Speaker 1: would be And is the song Innocent, which is about Kanye,
Speaker 1: but she's actually forgiving him in that song. Okay, next one,
Speaker 1: Whether whether be the frost or the violence of the
Speaker 1: dog Spere Shakespeare. I don't know, no frost. No, I
Speaker 1: didn't freeze. I'm waiting to see if you have an answer.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with Taylor, actually, because I could tell
Speaker 1: about your expression that you were surprised if you didn't know, Yes, sailor,
Speaker 1: but rather be the frost or the violence of the
Speaker 1: dog Days? Is that from It's got to be from
Speaker 1: a Taylor Swift song from the album Taylor Swift. Uh yes,
Speaker 1: let me just look that up because I thought you
Speaker 1: would get it right. Oh my god, be the frost
Speaker 1: from Nevermore? Whoa, Oh you know what it's probably from?
Speaker 1: Is it from the Lakes? Be the Frost? Taylor. I'm
Speaker 1: letting everyone down. Um, it's from It's from the It's
Speaker 1: from Evermore. I really don't like that song. I'll stand
Speaker 1: by it. It's from the song Evermore. I don't know
Speaker 1: that song I just don't like bony be just like
Speaker 1: it's just he I just he bugs me his voice. Sorry,
Speaker 1: just fired. Okay. Next one that my castle crumbled overnight, Taylor,
Speaker 1: my castle crumbled overnight. Some of them have, but they're
Speaker 1: both actually, I mean, I think we just have a
Speaker 1: couple of more. Uh, this is the very ecstasy of love.
Speaker 1: That's gotta be Shakespeare. No, that's Taylor Shakespeare. We're one,
Speaker 1: We're tied. This is the last one. Okay, though there's
Speaker 1: two more. Okay, just twin fire signs Taylor or blue
Speaker 1: Eyes twin fire signs for blue Eyes, Tawn down, turner down. Okay.
Speaker 1: Last one my crown, mine own ambition, and my Queen.
Speaker 1: That's Shakespeare, dude. Yeah, it's gotta be a c Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, all right. That was fun, thank you? Noah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a fun sift action. I kind of want to
Speaker 1: do something else to where it's like is it the
Speaker 1: Wire or Snoop Dogg album, you know, or like we
Speaker 1: could that could be fun. I think there's a lot
Speaker 1: of games like that online that we could just steal
Speaker 1: from BuzzFeed work. Yeah, let's listen to another podcast what
Speaker 1: they're doing. Yeah, I mean morbid. Um oh this is
Speaker 1: this is the Morbid Girls talking about the shark attack.
Speaker 1: Out Man was brutally ripped to shreds in the bay
Speaker 1: of the off the coast of Sydney. People watched on
Speaker 1: and as his limbs were torn from his torso, and
Speaker 1: he cried in agony as no one came to his rescue.
Speaker 1: Did it? Was there any other like swimmers or or something? Oh? Yikes,
Speaker 1: boo boo, oh my god, bad day Monday. Can we
Speaker 1: get the more wear girls on our show? Can we
Speaker 1: figure that out? Have them tell us a story. I
Speaker 1: don't think they'll appreciate us making fun of the Yeah, yes, um,
Speaker 1: but as they I mean, uh pun intended. Um, let's
Speaker 1: get to our Wild Wednesday, Wacky Wild Wednesday segment of
Speaker 1: the week. This time we're playing the perel board game
Speaker 1: where should we begin? And Noah owns it, And so
Speaker 1: she is going to pick a card which is a
Speaker 1: topic of which we should tell a story that is
Speaker 1: related to this topic. And then um, she's going to
Speaker 1: pick the sentence structure for which will begin the story
Speaker 1: that correct, Noah, Yeah, there's a prompt card that sets
Speaker 1: the mood for the storytellers, like the lens. That sets
Speaker 1: the mood. And then the story card, which is the
Speaker 1: opening phrase of the story, got it, love it, let's
Speaker 1: do it okay, So the um prompt card is taboo okay,
Speaker 1: And then the sentence is a mistake I'll never make again.
Speaker 1: Taboo means you know, society labels it as like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, you shouldn't do that. A mistake I'll never
Speaker 1: make again is um, I will say. A mistake I
Speaker 1: will never make again is talking about my sex life
Speaker 1: in a way that implies someone else's experience by their name.
Speaker 1: That it that talking about taboo, I'll never A mistake
Speaker 1: I'll never make again is talking about my sex life
Speaker 1: in a way that someone else I'm I'm I'm describing
Speaker 1: someone else's experience which is not their own, so I
Speaker 1: can all I I From now on, I'm only going
Speaker 1: to talk about my sex life in terms of like
Speaker 1: what I experience and not what and not implying that
Speaker 1: anyone else was there, because that is kind of I've realized,
Speaker 1: not fair to the person that you share it with,
Speaker 1: that you are taking that from them of like what
Speaker 1: they experienced by me saying like I did this with
Speaker 1: blah blah, blah. That's to me. It's already taboo to
Speaker 1: talk about your sex life openly, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: from now Yeah, but um, I will do I won't
Speaker 1: do it, but by someone. If I do do it,
Speaker 1: it's going to be a vague and not implicate anyone
Speaker 1: else in it by name, uh, from now on. So
Speaker 1: that's my story because I've just realized that I think
Speaker 1: that it's it's it sucks because I'm so one who
Speaker 1: is obviously like very open about every fucking thing, especially
Speaker 1: stuff regarding sex, and sometimes the person like not everyone
Speaker 1: feels that way. Most people don't aren't the same way
Speaker 1: regarding sex. Their sucks life. But the hard part is
Speaker 1: when you talk about your sex like openly, you're always
Speaker 1: doing it with someone else if it's not masturbation. So
Speaker 1: you can't really talk about your sex life openly without
Speaker 1: including someone else unless you're cheating. Yeah, but there's a
Speaker 1: way to do it that I'm open to in which
Speaker 1: no one gets hurt, and I'm I'm trepidatous. I just
Speaker 1: want to be more mindful of that that my experience
Speaker 1: is my experience, and honestly, what I describe of of
Speaker 1: my sex life could maybe not be their experience at all,
Speaker 1: or their motivation behind what we did or whatever. Like
Speaker 1: I could say, oh, we did this because of this
Speaker 1: you can years ago? Yes I could, And that's what
Speaker 1: I will do, you know, like I will not um
Speaker 1: connect any stories I tell to like yeah, but it
Speaker 1: is weird, Like from now I'll get yes by a
Speaker 1: guy named Ricardo. Yes, it's gonna be tough if I
Speaker 1: ever get married to be like so last week fucking dude. Yeah, ghost,
Speaker 1: it's all gonna be a ghost. No, it's I does
Speaker 1: have to be a little bit. Um. I just wanna
Speaker 1: as I get older, I think that common. When I
Speaker 1: think of taboo, I think of comedy, and like the
Speaker 1: things we talk about on stage are supposed to be taboo.
Speaker 1: Were trying to challenge taboos because taboos are usually used
Speaker 1: to silence victims and to make it so like the
Speaker 1: Cosby thing, like women didn't speak out about what happened
Speaker 1: to them, or like you know, the Catholic Church makes
Speaker 1: sex such a dirty thing, and so if something dirty
Speaker 1: happens to you as a child, you're told that, like
Speaker 1: if you There was a girl the other day on
Speaker 1: Reddit I read about and she was a Filipino girl,
Speaker 1: and she was English was the second language. She's fourteen,
Speaker 1: and she said it was on true Off my Chest
Speaker 1: the subreddit, and it was like my dad, I lost
Speaker 1: my virgin and my dad he raped me and I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do it. She's fourteen, She's trying
Speaker 1: to process that English is her second language. She's like
Speaker 1: telling the whole story, and she said that most of
Speaker 1: her complaint was not like my dad, my dad did this,
Speaker 1: is that he he made me so I'm not a
Speaker 1: virgin anymore. And because she's Catholic, being a virgin is
Speaker 1: so important and she is ruined, not because she was
Speaker 1: just mad at that. She was just sad and upset
Speaker 1: of the fact that she's ruined now. And she didn't
Speaker 1: want to tell anyone because she didn't want to be ruined.
Speaker 1: Because sex is so you're supposed to be pure and
Speaker 1: you're not. So victims can't report because they are made
Speaker 1: to feel that anything they engage in sexually is First
Speaker 1: of all, abusers are are are banking on children feeling
Speaker 1: like sex is dirty and if they admit it that
Speaker 1: they're going to be at fault, and they already feel
Speaker 1: like they are at fault. Because it feels like they
Speaker 1: did something to get this, so abusers get to like
Speaker 1: run wild. If we keep making sex taboo, it's it's
Speaker 1: part of the problem. It's not the whole problem, saying
Speaker 1: that sex is is this dirty thing. I can still
Speaker 1: talk about my sex life openly, and I want to
Speaker 1: keep doing that because I want to encourage people to
Speaker 1: talk about their own sex lives openly and not make
Speaker 1: it this thing that's dirty, because it isn't. When it's
Speaker 1: done right, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You're not dirty. No,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong about anything sex. What do you mean, Yes,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong. Yes, yes, there's nothing wrong about it.
Speaker 1: But when things are when sex, which is a beautiful thing,
Speaker 1: which is the reason we all exist, when that is
Speaker 1: taboo ized whatever the word is, when that is Florida
Speaker 1: to call back, when it's florid um. That means that
Speaker 1: when bad things do happen to you, you feel like
Speaker 1: even if even if this was a good thing, I
Speaker 1: couldn't talk about it. So certainly when it's something that's bad,
Speaker 1: I definitely can't talk about it, and people always call
Speaker 1: I've read comments in my when I used to read
Speaker 1: my stepread it where people are Like Nikki always says
Speaker 1: the thing about oh, she can joke about molestation because
Speaker 1: you know, um, even though she hasn't been molested, because
Speaker 1: it makes you know, it just makes the conversation about molestation.
Speaker 1: It makes it like, let's just talk about being molested.
Speaker 1: It's a thing that happens all the time, but it is,
Speaker 1: and people go, oh, that's just such an excuse, so
Speaker 1: she can get away with doing the jokes she wants. No,
Speaker 1: it is not an excuse. It actually these things talking
Speaker 1: about being molested and being able to say people are here,
Speaker 1: are more molested. I wasn't molested, but it's a thing
Speaker 1: that I avoided just by being lucky. It wasn't because
Speaker 1: I did anything right or my parents did anything right,
Speaker 1: thus thus telling you if you were molested, it's just
Speaker 1: you were unlucky in that way. It wasn't your fault guilt.
Speaker 1: Me making jokes about molestation is me bringing up a
Speaker 1: thing because I want to talk about it. Because if
Speaker 1: you don't talk about it, the people that do it
Speaker 1: keep winning, and the people that were molested can't talk
Speaker 1: about it because they've been shaped because it's so awkward.
Speaker 1: If you tell us you're molested. That's really keep that
Speaker 1: to yourself. Just only tell a therapist about that. Why
Speaker 1: what if you can't afford a therapist, then you keep
Speaker 1: it inside. And guess who gets to keep molesting the molesters?
Speaker 1: Because if, unless, unless people can say I was raped,
Speaker 1: I was molested, that guy did something weird to me
Speaker 1: that made me feel uncomfortable, they're gonna keep doing it.
Speaker 1: And that's not me telling victims like, oh, if you
Speaker 1: don't speak up, you're creating more victims. I'm not saying that.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying we need to make it more comfortable
Speaker 1: to say I was victimized, and and by doing that
Speaker 1: sometimes joking about subjects makes them more palatable to talk
Speaker 1: about in anyway. That's my point. Um, where should you
Speaker 1: begin with your sentence? Taboo? And then you start it
Speaker 1: with a mistake I'll never make again. A mistake I'll
Speaker 1: never make again is driving after drinking. And I one
Speaker 1: time drove over a bridge the wrong way and then
Speaker 1: I was It was in Palm Beach, which is a
Speaker 1: bridge where there's definitely a lot of cops all the time.
Speaker 1: And I drove over the bridge and I got halfway
Speaker 1: over and I realized I was going the wrong way,
Speaker 1: So I paused on top of the bridge, and I go,
Speaker 1: do I whatever? You watched too many videos? He passed
Speaker 1: and you meditated for a moment. Pausing is always related
Speaker 1: with take up pause. Yeah, you stopped, but pauses just
Speaker 1: a funny you could say pause. I was just it's funny.
Speaker 1: So I paused, and I pondered, and then I breaked
Speaker 1: and then I stopped. Uh, And I was like, do
Speaker 1: I reverse? Did you Florida? Do I reverse back? Or
Speaker 1: do I go forward? And then try to because it
Speaker 1: was such there was no way to turn around. Yes,
Speaker 1: what did you? I'm guessing you just went forward, reversed
Speaker 1: all the way back down when I got dunk hammered, dude,
Speaker 1: I mean, and you know, thanks for sharing that, because
Speaker 1: saying that you've drunk drive. I drove drunk in the
Speaker 1: past so taboo. People won't admit it because and then
Speaker 1: when you get caught, when someone gets a d y,
Speaker 1: everyone's like, oh my god, when drunk that night. Everyone
Speaker 1: has done it. Or you've been in a car where
Speaker 1: someone's driving drunk and you knew they were drunk, or
Speaker 1: you've been in a plane where the pilot was drunk.
Speaker 1: Just because you flew southwest. I'm just trying. You're trying
Speaker 1: to save a buck. No, I I just think that. Um,
Speaker 1: I will say that if you drink out there, if
Speaker 1: you're someone who the autopilot, if you're someone out there
Speaker 1: who has driven drunk, or it's totally okay, forgive yourself
Speaker 1: for it. Um, you're not a bad person, because obviously
Speaker 1: when you drink, it makes you do things that are
Speaker 1: really stupid. And if you're someone who's like, you're not
Speaker 1: a bad person, Nikki, you're saying that people that drunk
Speaker 1: drive aren't bad people. I don't think that most people
Speaker 1: want to hurt other people when they get into a
Speaker 1: car drunk when you're this is the thing about drinking.
Speaker 1: And I hate to go back to this because some
Speaker 1: of you are probably like, I don't want to hear
Speaker 1: any more about your fucking proselytizing about not drinking. I
Speaker 1: don't care what you do. I'm telling you if you
Speaker 1: still drink, enjoy yourself. Use uber. But when people say
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have one drink or I'm not going
Speaker 1: to drive drunk, and you start drinking, you forget that
Speaker 1: you got your getting The person who said that drunk,
Speaker 1: so you don't you're there, we've all done this thing
Speaker 1: where we go, I'm just gonna have two drinks. That
Speaker 1: person could only have two drinks. That you are when
Speaker 1: you say that when you have no drinks in you,
Speaker 1: but when to drink you what's the best way to
Speaker 1: get someone to hang out? Just have a couple of drinks.
Speaker 1: You know they're gonna Bill Cosby, how Bill Cosby would
Speaker 1: give women drinks knowing that they were going to get
Speaker 1: into a state where they would they would wouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to say no. He you know, obviously expedited that
Speaker 1: by drugging their drinks. But alcohol is a drug that
Speaker 1: makes you stupider. So you have to remember that yourself.
Speaker 1: Your smart stelf doesn't want to drunk drive, but you
Speaker 1: get drunk and you get stupid. If you had a
Speaker 1: person who, what, who was very severely mentally handicapped with
Speaker 1: the driver's license, would you would you trust them to
Speaker 1: use their best judgment not to drive, Because that's what
Speaker 1: you're making when you get super drunk, you turned into
Speaker 1: a person who is very mentally disabled. You're the same
Speaker 1: or a baby turned into a baby essentially. So I
Speaker 1: just say to people who The biggest freedom for me
Speaker 1: when I quit drinking was that when I get pulled
Speaker 1: over now I almost and also quitting smoking pot, because
Speaker 1: I did used to drive a little bit where I
Speaker 1: used to get I swear to God, I would get
Speaker 1: excited when I got pulled over because it was this
Speaker 1: new freedom that I know I am not guilty. And
Speaker 1: when I get pulled over by the t s A,
Speaker 1: now there is what. I haven't smoked pot since August.
Speaker 1: There is a freedom in knowing that they're not going
Speaker 1: to find any thing, and if they do, it's an
Speaker 1: old thing from back when I like put a pot
Speaker 1: pen in a pocket. Final thought, I can't tell you
Speaker 1: how great it is when you finally free yourself from
Speaker 1: things and you never have to worry about it again.
Speaker 1: And I'm extending this too. I used to be addicted
Speaker 1: to gum. I think it's the thing I talked about
Speaker 1: in here a little bit. When I got into recovery
Speaker 1: for my eating disorder, Oh my god, I stopped so
Speaker 1: the first thing I did a lot of You wrote
Speaker 1: me the other day with the capitalized eating disorder help,
Speaker 1: and I gave you um what I did to get help,
Speaker 1: And obviously my I'm not perfect, and a lot of
Speaker 1: people have actually written to me saying, hey, what you
Speaker 1: said today on the podcast really triggered me and made
Speaker 1: me feel like I needed to start dieting because you
Speaker 1: mentioned this thing, and I was like, holy sh it,
Speaker 1: thank you for saying that, because my my recovery is
Speaker 1: not like a straight line. It is like some days
Speaker 1: I'm not good, some days I'm great, but at least
Speaker 1: I know where to return to. And it takes those
Speaker 1: kind of messages to remind me like, hey, I've been
Speaker 1: putting out some stuff and some thoughts. I've been having
Speaker 1: some negative thoughts that are trying to get me back
Speaker 1: into that thinking of wanting to start wanting to being
Speaker 1: obsessed with not being fat, whatever the funk it is
Speaker 1: because I think it's going to bring me happiness. And
Speaker 1: I've relied on Bestie's to like keep me in check
Speaker 1: on that, and I really appreciated their honesty and being like,
Speaker 1: I love you, but hey, I just want to be
Speaker 1: honest with you. The thing you said really upset me.
Speaker 1: I love that, and it's just because I can take
Speaker 1: any criticism if it's laced with I love you and
Speaker 1: I'm and it doesn't even have a way to criticize
Speaker 1: without being like, I can't believe she did. This comes
Speaker 1: from love. They're allowed to get mad at me. I
Speaker 1: don't like if it comes from hate. That's a different
Speaker 1: that's a different thing. And I'm not open to really
Speaker 1: accepting things that are based in hate because it just
Speaker 1: tells me that you probably are struggling with something. This
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with me. On that post I
Speaker 1: did on Instagram today, some guy just wrote some guy
Speaker 1: just wrote decent, and I blocked. I go, I'm I
Speaker 1: don't need that in my life, like that decent. First
Speaker 1: of all, it was so it was so funny. I
Speaker 1: love reading the comments because I ruin's like, holy, like
Speaker 1: how funny it was. It was so funny. First I
Speaker 1: got this guy just wrote decent, and I go, you're
Speaker 1: done with my life like that decent. Well, that's a
Speaker 1: great boundary because you're not going back at him, you're
Speaker 1: not engaging with you don't you don't get to and
Speaker 1: he'll write me I just wrote decent. I go, there's
Speaker 1: so much behind decent. I had to say, though, there
Speaker 1: is something that that guy could do to get you
Speaker 1: a follow back Listen, dude, I wrote decent and I
Speaker 1: know how fucking shitty that was, and it's because I'm
Speaker 1: jealous of how funny you are. And I I've been
Speaker 1: jealous of how funny you are before Andrew and made
Speaker 1: you feel insecure about Like my my comment today was
Speaker 1: not being jealous of how fun I was just going
Speaker 1: back to my old thing. It was so funny. Every
Speaker 1: posted on my Instagram it was so funny. Um, I
Speaker 1: had to go between like me writing is this really funny?
Speaker 1: Or me writing a joke about it? So, but there
Speaker 1: have been times where I've been jealous of how funny
Speaker 1: you are and there's something in me that wants to
Speaker 1: make you feel bad about it so that you don't
Speaker 1: because I'm because I hate myself for not being as
Speaker 1: funny as you. And that's where that decent thing came from. Now,
Speaker 1: if that guy is able to say that he can
Speaker 1: follow you again, what a beautiful realization he could. You
Speaker 1: know you would totally unblock him. Also, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: If you think it's decent, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Just don't tell why you guarantee you. I get it.
Speaker 1: I get that, but I'm just saying, like you think
Speaker 1: it's decent, and oh you can't handle criticism. That's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want I can't handle criticism. You know what's
Speaker 1: wrong with saying I can't handle criticism? When I say
Speaker 1: that I can't handle sugar people, why is I just
Speaker 1: know myself? Criticism makes me crazy. I I know there
Speaker 1: are people that can't handle it. I know a stronger
Speaker 1: person might be able to. I can't. But what I
Speaker 1: really want to say being under whatever, honest with what
Speaker 1: you can and can't handle, and not being ashamed of
Speaker 1: being scared tites, not being ashamed of not being ashamed
Speaker 1: of being triggered by skinny women on Instagram and having
Speaker 1: to block them. I have to do that sometimes because
Speaker 1: for my mental sanity, that's what's gonna protect me. And
Speaker 1: I'm not a shamed to say it. Um the comments,
Speaker 1: It's like why when someone so, I used to be
Speaker 1: addicted to gum? And so when I tell you that
Speaker 1: quitting drinking has freed me from ever worrying about do
Speaker 1: you guys? That is one of the quitn't drinking freed
Speaker 1: me from worrying about d you guys? And also if
Speaker 1: I don't remember someone that I meet and they go,
Speaker 1: oh we met before, you don't remember I go, I
Speaker 1: did this as a joke, but I go, not drinking
Speaker 1: is the best thing. Because when I meet someone now
Speaker 1: and they go, oh, we've already met, I go, was
Speaker 1: it before two eleven? That's when I quit drinking, And
Speaker 1: they go, no, it was. I go, well, that's that's
Speaker 1: on you. That's not my fault. Like I have a
Speaker 1: bad I can just say I have a bad memory now,
Speaker 1: or you didn't stand out, it's you need to get
Speaker 1: a better personality for me to remember you. Because I
Speaker 1: always used to feel so guilty about being black out
Speaker 1: drop all the time, and I used to make excuses
Speaker 1: about it. I was like, I used to pretend I
Speaker 1: remembered it. Um, my dad had COVID. Did you know that?
Speaker 1: At one point? Yeah, I just wanted to say that
Speaker 1: my dad had COVID in the fall. Um, totally non sequent. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just know that I have to I just wanted to say.
Speaker 1: I have to say, you guys don't understand. It's a
Speaker 1: long story. I know you're confused that I just said that,
Speaker 1: But just know that it's just a fact that my
Speaker 1: dad had COVID in the fall, and I just want
Speaker 1: to say that, Um, there's nothing wrong with having COVID.
Speaker 1: That's another thing. Well, I mean this actually connects us perfectly.
Speaker 1: People are so ashamed to say they had COVID. They
Speaker 1: can say it now where like I had it, But
Speaker 1: when they are currently going through it, it's like bed Bucks.
Speaker 1: It's like this shame like guess what, you're no different
Speaker 1: than you And people always want to go, where did
Speaker 1: you get? Where did I get it? How did Who
Speaker 1: could I blame for giving this to me? And guess what,
Speaker 1: It doesn't fucking matter. We're all doing things where we
Speaker 1: could get COVID any fucking time. It doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: you got it. You got it, and we're all you.
Speaker 1: You're not You're not worse, you're not grosser than anyone else,
Speaker 1: You're not more reckless than anyone else. Uh. For the
Speaker 1: most part, you know, there are certain extenuating circumstances. You're
Speaker 1: at this whole time has been going to a club
Speaker 1: and grinding on people and millions of people and you're sweating.
Speaker 1: That's on you. But if you're living your life and
Speaker 1: you're going to supermarket, this like man hunt for who
Speaker 1: gave who COVID? Whose fault is it? Guess what? It's
Speaker 1: a lab in China's fault or whatever you want to believe,
Speaker 1: like you can trace it all the way back. It's
Speaker 1: like therapy. It's your parents fault for how you act
Speaker 1: the way you are, Well, it's their parents fault. Well,
Speaker 1: then it's their parents. It's like you can you go
Speaker 1: on and on and it's just like it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Just you got it. You didn't want to get it.
Speaker 1: It's not your fault that you got it. It's not
Speaker 1: a It doesn't make you a bad person. Shakespeare. I
Speaker 1: just want to finish my thought up with the gum thing.
Speaker 1: It was a great ham trip. I want to just say,
Speaker 1: because I had so many people write to me about
Speaker 1: the evening sort of rant I went on the other
Speaker 1: day and it seemed to really help some people. Is
Speaker 1: that when you quit drinking, you free yourself from all
Speaker 1: these things that you didn't know. It doesn't only just
Speaker 1: it's not only like you're not getting drunk and you
Speaker 1: feel like ship you just like you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about these things that you don't realize you were
Speaker 1: about in the in the wake of it. Do you
Speaker 1: have any of those with drinking, Andrew, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's the list is longer than just remembering everything you
Speaker 1: do is kind of a cool thing. That is My
Speaker 1: biggest thing was New York mornings on Sunday morning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now you get to enjoy them, and you know, I
Speaker 1: enjoyed my mornings. But it is true, like there's something
Speaker 1: about there's nothing better than eleven am eating brunch and
Speaker 1: seeing hungover people and you're smiling ear to ear taking
Speaker 1: everything in. Yeah, I don't feel good about that, but
Speaker 1: it's I always feel bad with people that I get hungover.
Speaker 1: I talked to one yesterday and I go because I
Speaker 1: used to have a joke about it, and it's true.
Speaker 1: Being hongover is the worst because you feel like absolute
Speaker 1: hell and no one feels sorry for you, and the
Speaker 1: best part of the alcohol exactly, it's your fault and
Speaker 1: no one in people should feels So I feltarrt for you.
Speaker 1: If you're hungover, right me and I'll go you pour baby,
Speaker 1: treat yourself well today. I will not blame you because
Speaker 1: it isn't your fault that you feel sick, even though
Speaker 1: you drank a bunch. That's not your fault because then
Speaker 1: I'll enjoy my Sunday more in But anyway, I will
Speaker 1: say that, like when I quit um. I didn't realize
Speaker 1: a huge thing that was constantly on my mind because
Speaker 1: I was addicted to gum, and I was ashamed of
Speaker 1: my addiction, so I would always try to hide how
Speaker 1: often I was putting in new pieces. I would just
Speaker 1: I would. I would go through like three packs of
Speaker 1: gum a day, and that it's like cigarettes, you know.
Speaker 1: I was up to sometimes five, like on really bad
Speaker 1: days where I was trying not to eat and I
Speaker 1: was just obsessively chewing gum. I got sores in my mouth.
Speaker 1: I mean, my life was hell with gum. But one
Speaker 1: of the biggest things was gum. If there's not trash
Speaker 1: can around, you have to like you don't swallow it,
Speaker 1: you'd spit it out, put it in a little wrapper
Speaker 1: and then put it in a pocket or put in
Speaker 1: your purse. My life was constantly gum being in pockets
Speaker 1: and ruining my laundry, Gum being in pockets of things
Speaker 1: where um. People would like go to look for something
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, why are there thirty little cheer
Speaker 1: up gum rappers? And it was so embarrassing. My life
Speaker 1: was constantly mitigating against people discovering my addiction and getting
Speaker 1: rid of gum rappers and storing them up until there
Speaker 1: were so many and like just gum being everywhere, and
Speaker 1: it made me feel gross. And I didn't realize in
Speaker 1: quitting gum that I would never people. When people are like, hey, um,
Speaker 1: I can look at that for you, Nikki. I used
Speaker 1: to go, no, bring me my purse because they could
Speaker 1: not go in there because they would see my gom addiction.
Speaker 1: Now I go, yeah, I go get in my purse.
Speaker 1: There's nothing to hide. It's a beautiful lifett like goes
Speaker 1: back to your mom with cigarettes like bother mom's quid cigarettes.
Speaker 1: Mine unfortunately secrets everywhere with food in my life, rappers
Speaker 1: just half eaten things, uh throw up in the toilet.
Speaker 1: So many things I was hiding from, like someone like you,
Speaker 1: someone like no what like my best friends. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: let them see that side of me, and they would
Speaker 1: see it, but they wouldn't talk about seeing it. And
Speaker 1: it's just so free that you could go in my
Speaker 1: room and go in any drawer anything I have. That's
Speaker 1: why I created that game where we go in each
Speaker 1: other's room because that's the first time in my life. March,
Speaker 1: when I got recovered from me disorder, that I have
Speaker 1: nothing to hide. It's the first time and it's a
Speaker 1: beautiful thing. And um so I encourage all of you
Speaker 1: to to seek that kind of freedom in your life
Speaker 1: because it took me until I was thirty five to
Speaker 1: do it, so uh, it's never too late, all right,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, don't bek and Jack,
Speaker 1: I think I did that one before, but I'll allow it.