Speaker 1: The Nick Agliser podcast Niki Glaser post. Here's Nikki. Hello,
Speaker 1: Here I am. It's a Nick Laser podcast. It's a
Speaker 1: late night edition recording this. I can't do it? Can
Speaker 1: you do it? That's pretty good? Yeah, I can't do
Speaker 1: the back of the throat one. Noah's good at the
Speaker 1: back of the do it again, Noah, Oh, that's so natural,
Speaker 1: me too. How do you do in the back of
Speaker 1: your throat?
Speaker 2: Jew?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is what people tuned in for. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the show. It's late niner. Come Gusland. It's six thirty
Speaker 1: six on the West Coast and it's like ninth thirty
Speaker 1: six where Noah and on your Anya described her boobs.
Speaker 1: What's going on there?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: I did it was totally unconscious.
Speaker 4: They have been growing and not going down. I've had
Speaker 4: two periods this in the last seventeen days. Holler at me,
Speaker 4: ladies in perimenopause, what the fuck is going on with
Speaker 4: my body? I will reiterate day one of my period.
Speaker 4: Normally I'm a seven day girl day no, but but guys,
Speaker 4: like a pantyliner, never using a tamp haven't used a
Speaker 4: tamp in years.
Speaker 2: Very light.
Speaker 1: Oh for seven days. The whole time is a panty liner.
Speaker 2: Exactly, just one.
Speaker 1: For years the time. I just like to recycle.
Speaker 4: No, you know, like a few a day, but very light,
Speaker 4: and then it goes away.
Speaker 1: Sven days. That's a lot. That's long.
Speaker 2: It's usually like six.
Speaker 3: But i'm talking life.
Speaker 2: Whoa, I'm talking.
Speaker 4: Like a nineteen ninety six Bobby Brown Matt lipstick that
Speaker 4: it's like that brownish thing, not blood red.
Speaker 1: So no blood red. I don't think you never bleed
Speaker 1: when I was on birth kind of like a different color.
Speaker 1: And I was on birth I had the brown, but
Speaker 1: off of birth control. Yeah, I'm not sting.
Speaker 4: I have a scarlet red droplet sometimes just hit the
Speaker 4: bathroom floor.
Speaker 1: So it's been going on for two weeks.
Speaker 4: You said, it's just it was like very light for
Speaker 4: six days. And then I had sex on like day
Speaker 4: eight or nine, and Matt was like, what we got
Speaker 4: a little situation here. And I was like, are you
Speaker 4: sure that's from the front and he was like, he's like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, it's kind of I don't know. And
Speaker 4: I was like, oh no, that's that can't possibly meet
Speaker 4: my period, and it was and then.
Speaker 2: It started again.
Speaker 1: Wait, so when he has something on his penis that
Speaker 1: might be your period blood. He does tell you about it,
Speaker 1: because I don't think my partner does. He just assumes
Speaker 1: I know it was. He just goes in there to
Speaker 1: clean up on himself. He's not like reporting back to
Speaker 1: me what he's finding on his.
Speaker 2: He probably know well, he knows who he's dating.
Speaker 4: I had just done the sheets, and we have white sheets,
Speaker 4: so I think he was just warning me, like, you
Speaker 4: have a handprint on your.
Speaker 2: Sheets, right, okay?
Speaker 4: Crime scene, yeah, a little bit. It was like a
Speaker 4: very light crime scene. And then I thought it was weird,
Speaker 4: and then I just let it go. And then like
Speaker 4: two days later, it just starts up again like full
Speaker 4: on and when for another seven days?
Speaker 1: So it's like when, So you feel like it's perimenopause.
Speaker 3: What does that mean?
Speaker 2: It's anyone over forty is in it. That's what my
Speaker 2: natural apath told me.
Speaker 4: It's just when your periods start to get light. It
Speaker 4: just means before a menopause, which happens in your.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's.
Speaker 1: People will be tricked me.
Speaker 3: At some point I.
Speaker 4: Saw I had to admit it because you're getting older
Speaker 4: and I keep staying and you're very age.
Speaker 1: I don't know when I'll start lying about my age
Speaker 1: or concealing it. But this weekend I was saying a
Speaker 1: lot like I'm in my late thirties, and then I said,
Speaker 1: at one point I was just like, I'm in my
Speaker 1: latest thirty and it's got such a big laugh, and
Speaker 1: it was one of those laughs where you're like, I
Speaker 1: don't even you didn't even know that was gonna be funny.
Speaker 3: A lot of those, Yeah, I just have no idea
Speaker 3: what what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: After time, but someone will like burst out laughing and
Speaker 1: you seem kind of perplexed, like why was that funny?
Speaker 1: And then sure, then you that's when you know, like
Speaker 1: to hold on to that one. Yeah, that's good, even
Speaker 1: though I didn't intend for it to be fin.
Speaker 3: It's really you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Unfortunately, that actually feels good when you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just naturally funny, but in a way
Speaker 1: that my mom is like my mom's ever doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to ever trying to be funny, but she is, and
Speaker 1: it makes me. I'm so jealous of that. But I
Speaker 1: guess I have a have that.
Speaker 3: Every comedian, every comedian planet earth, has a friend that's
Speaker 3: funnier than them. Yes, and a mother, yeah, or somebody.
Speaker 1: Even today, I was at this work thing and someone goes,
Speaker 1: I just did you work on Barmageddon? And I was
Speaker 1: like I did, And he's like, I just got a
Speaker 1: message from my friend. I just got a slack for
Speaker 1: my friend on a slack, a thing called slack. I
Speaker 1: just got a slack for my friend that said I
Speaker 1: worked with Nikki on Barmageddon. Let her know her mom
Speaker 1: is the coolest woman ever. It was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I made impression on
Speaker 1: someone at Barmageddon, but it was no, it was my mom.
Speaker 3: She's the coolest person ever, and you know.
Speaker 2: Like I'm her wing man. Thanks a lot like getting
Speaker 2: hit on when your hot friend gets hit on at
Speaker 2: the bar and you're like, oh, I thought you're talking
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 1: I don't even want to talk about how like even
Speaker 1: you mentioning that, it's like triggering away. I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't handle when I am with a group of friends.
Speaker 1: You generally, it's like when I'm with one girlfriend and
Speaker 1: someone else hits on her and not us both equally,
Speaker 1: not because I'm like I think I'm prettier than her,
Speaker 1: and I'm this makes me feel like I'm not as pretty.
Speaker 1: It's just rude, yeah to like, I just feel like
Speaker 1: I've really struggled with it, Like I can remember every
Speaker 1: single time in my life it's how to me like
Speaker 1: and it honestly it's giving me anxiety right now even
Speaker 1: thinking about it, because not only do they not want
Speaker 1: to fuck me, which is like hurtful, but and they
Speaker 1: want to fuck my friend more, which is also hurtful.
Speaker 1: But they think it's so it's to do something that
Speaker 1: over where you're just hitting on there's two single women
Speaker 1: sitting here and you're just hitting on one of them.
Speaker 1: It means it would be insane. You think it would
Speaker 1: be insane for me to even think that you would
Speaker 1: ever be attracted to me, because that's such so not
Speaker 1: even in like it means he didn't even think like
Speaker 1: she might be hurt by this because she's kind of
Speaker 1: fuckable too considerate exactly, and so it had hurt some
Speaker 1: doubly like that. And I'm sure people are going to
Speaker 1: investigate this and talk about it on Reddit how I'm
Speaker 1: so insecure and everything like that, but I am, and
Speaker 1: I'll be the first to say it. It really bothers me.
Speaker 3: A similar thing happened just now to me with you.
Speaker 3: I was walking down, I was in I was on
Speaker 3: the good side of it. I was walking down the
Speaker 3: sidewalk towards the hotel. I saw it, and you waved
Speaker 3: at me. And then there was another guy between us.
Speaker 3: He thought you waved at him, I know, and he
Speaker 3: was like, did you just wave at me? And then
Speaker 3: he waved back, and then I made sure not to
Speaker 3: do anything, so I didn't want him to know that
Speaker 3: you were waving at me. And I saw that.
Speaker 1: I saw that you made that choice, and I'm so
Speaker 1: proud of you because I wanted him to because I
Speaker 1: would wave at him. I was already waving, like when
Speaker 1: he came into the lane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was no way to avoid it.
Speaker 1: And I knew that once he saw you, he'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh god, he's probably she's probably waving at him.
Speaker 3: But because you.
Speaker 1: Didn't wave back, he can walk through life now thinking
Speaker 1: maybe she was waving at me. So it was a
Speaker 1: joint effort, and he did a good job this part
Speaker 1: of the podcast, and now he won't hear it.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say, that's my nightmare. In high school,
Speaker 4: I remember someone waving at me. I think it was
Speaker 4: a girl. Who I desperately wanted to be friends with.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, she's finally waving at me,
Speaker 4: and it was.
Speaker 2: Someone behind me, one of her click.
Speaker 1: I was just has anyone wanted to fuck you? Or
Speaker 1: like fuck someone else? And you were like, hurt by
Speaker 1: that does that?
Speaker 4: But I mean maybe I was always the funny, quirky friend,
Speaker 4: never the one hit on.
Speaker 5: It always happens to me when I'm with Nikki, So yes, no, yes,
Speaker 5: no Moontower twenty eighteen, How can I forget it? Great
Speaker 5: and like a bunch of guys turning their heads looking
Speaker 5: at you, and I'm just like a piece of shit.
Speaker 1: Nothing because I'm they recognize me because my face was
Speaker 1: on like the holes there gorgeous. It doesn't count if
Speaker 1: you're famous, No, it doesn't count if you're famous. It's
Speaker 1: and listen, I'm not. I'm not an ugo. I know
Speaker 1: that there are people that would be interested in me,
Speaker 1: but it is really devastating. I don't know why it's
Speaker 1: so devastating when it happened when it happens to me,
Speaker 1: But I I will say that, yes, that probably happened
Speaker 1: at Moontower, But I do think it's because they recognize me,
Speaker 1: and that is a problem. Like when I'm somewhere where
Speaker 1: I'm recognizable and I'm in an environment where people know
Speaker 1: I'm going to be there so they know it's me,
Speaker 1: I do feel like, oh, no one around, like the
Speaker 1: girls around me aren't getting any attend there. But I
Speaker 1: don't feel like it's actually earned, like the way it
Speaker 1: is when I'm just a two girls sitting at a
Speaker 1: restaurant and no one knows who they are, and these
Speaker 1: guys are just like, I'm sorry, I just had to
Speaker 1: tell you're so beautiful, like that's I can. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's ever happened to me where someone's just been like, actually,
Speaker 1: it happened the other day, Okay, I'll say it. This guy.
Speaker 1: I was walking to meet Lizzie for lunch, and this
Speaker 1: guy was like pulling out onto the street and I
Speaker 1: had just parked my car. But I think he's full
Speaker 1: of shit because I looked disgusting this day, like I
Speaker 1: wasn't dressed up at all, a dirty book, no, and
Speaker 1: he just he goes, excuse me, ma'am. And I just
Speaker 1: turned around and he in his windows rolled down and
Speaker 1: he looks at his phone like he's gonna be like
Speaker 1: can you tell me how to get Like he's looking
Speaker 1: at his phone like I just want to tell you're
Speaker 1: very beautiful. And I was just like thank you, Like
Speaker 1: I was literally like it never ever happens to me.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. And he was not attractive, there
Speaker 1: was and he's a guy that probably does this women
Speaker 1: twelve times a day.
Speaker 3: He was looking at his phone like he was like
Speaker 3: trying to find directions.
Speaker 1: Yes, and so I got a little closer to be like,
Speaker 1: what do you need?
Speaker 3: There was nothing better than giving someone directions?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And I had no idea. How easy is
Speaker 1: it to give someone directions? I have a phone and
Speaker 1: you have a phone too. He was even asking for
Speaker 1: directions anyhow. How old was he by the way, forties fifties,
Speaker 1: But like you could tell he was like a sleazy dude,
Speaker 1: not an attractive guy, but like this is his thing
Speaker 1: that he does. I mean it was but the fact
Speaker 1: that that he wouldn't have done unless he wanted to
Speaker 1: have sex with me, And that is complimentary in my book.
Speaker 1: As a woman in her latest thirty, I take it
Speaker 1: as a compliment that someone wants to come in me
Speaker 1: and would like to do that.
Speaker 2: What was your response?
Speaker 1: I said. I literally was like, thank you, that's so nice. Thanks,
Speaker 1: and then I like backed away slowly and then quickly
Speaker 1: and then ran into the Starbucks to get my third
Speaker 1: of the day. I will say there's.
Speaker 4: A converse thing that happens to you too, Like, just
Speaker 4: like you were saying, being famous, you kind of you
Speaker 4: feel like it's not earned. But then I feel like
Speaker 4: you also probably I don't realize that there's a percentage
Speaker 4: of guys who don't hit on you and act like
Speaker 4: they don't know who you are because you are famous,
Speaker 4: and I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen multiple times,
Speaker 4: not just with hitting on you, but they sort of
Speaker 4: subtly nag you because you're famous. They want to connect
Speaker 4: with you, they want to bond with you, so they're
Speaker 4: like they give you shit in a way, and it's
Speaker 4: actually like to you, it's rude, but you don't realize,
Speaker 4: like because they just saw you perform and they are
Speaker 4: kind of wowed by you or whatever, they're like, I
Speaker 4: know how to get with this girl. I'm gonna fucking
Speaker 4: be really rude to her or you know, like dirty
Speaker 4: or ignore her.
Speaker 1: And I know that I know that that'sing on me,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't ever I'm I'm not one to
Speaker 1: get offended by guys saying the wrong thing or like
Speaker 1: saying like tripping over themselves. I know that if a
Speaker 1: guy talks to me, he probably wants to Like if
Speaker 1: a bumbling dude is they're kind of like they.
Speaker 4: Probably ever had a girl neg you when you're like,
Speaker 4: I know you want to be my friend, but you're
Speaker 4: just nagging me because Oh.
Speaker 1: The other day, this girl we have are spending time
Speaker 1: with a woman, she said, I want to come see
Speaker 1: your show. I love filth and I was just like, oh, cool,
Speaker 1: Like it's more than that, and I actually have a
Speaker 1: lot to say about the patriarchy if you look at
Speaker 1: the undertones of like but I was just like, okay,
Speaker 1: because M favorite most girls that like me, I have
Speaker 1: to say, they're like, there's they but I take this
Speaker 1: as a compliment. They're women who are kind of like
Speaker 1: a kind of like dirtier or like a little bit
Speaker 1: like rough around the edges, or have dark thoughts. They're
Speaker 1: a little bit more masculine energy. And we were kind
Speaker 1: of exploring this the other day my Instagram following and
Speaker 1: also this podcast podcast Demo. The podcast demo. You want
Speaker 1: to tell them what it is people listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: You fit into a demo?
Speaker 3: All right, people bestise listening to the podcast. Right now,
Speaker 3: I want you to pick a number in your head
Speaker 3: how many percent of women listen to the podcast versus
Speaker 3: how many men listen to podcast based on the way
Speaker 3: it's broken down in the Instagram. Yeah, so to think
Speaker 3: of a number in your head.
Speaker 1: So we have twenty four thousand Instagram followers, which is
Speaker 1: a good sampling of example, what our listenership is. And
Speaker 1: it is almost exactly correlated with my Instagram.
Speaker 3: Following too, which fans of Nikki Glazers.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought it would skew a little bit differently, and
Speaker 1: I'll tell you why in a second. But I want
Speaker 1: to ask Noah and Anya what they think.
Speaker 4: I'm want to say, eighteen thousand of the twenty four
Speaker 4: our women.
Speaker 3: So what's that percentage? What'd you do with that?
Speaker 1: Can you use a percentage?
Speaker 3: What do you do write writing?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to say fifty six percent even that's.
Speaker 1: Not Wait, eighteen thousand was way more percentage.
Speaker 2: Than sixty percent.
Speaker 1: You actually, how do you figure this out mathematically? I
Speaker 1: think it's you do on their scene right now, times
Speaker 1: twenty four?
Speaker 3: Right, I would do eighteen thousand divided by twenty.
Speaker 1: Four okay, okay, or you can just do eighteen that's
Speaker 1: seventy five percent five percent as women. Okay, I would
Speaker 1: say I'll say less.
Speaker 4: I'll say less. I'll say sixty two percent are women?
Speaker 3: Sixty two percent women? Oh, it means that it's eighty
Speaker 3: six percent men, Jake, JK, you got me.
Speaker 5: She almost agreed to it. I'm going to say it's
Speaker 5: the inverse of that. I think it's like maybe sixty
Speaker 5: to sixty five percent men.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, less women than Ryan.
Speaker 3: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's I'll look it up right now.
Speaker 3: It's it's whatever it is. It's surprising and not memorable.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, no, no, it is memorable, but I believe I
Speaker 1: just want to get it exactly right. Okay, okay. Looking
Speaker 1: at professional dashboard, total total fault? Where is it? The
Speaker 1: total fall? How dare you touch my phone?
Speaker 3: I'm sorry?
Speaker 1: Isn't it weird when someone else looks at your phone
Speaker 1: and then they touch it, and you're just like, okay,
Speaker 1: I could you could just point at it you.
Speaker 3: Touched my phone?
Speaker 1: Would know I would never care all those spots I want.
Speaker 3: You know, I would never care for yours. Some people
Speaker 3: who I've touched my phone recently, I think it's moved.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Okay.
Speaker 1: It is fifty four percent men forty five percent women,
Speaker 1: which is very different from my own Instagram. I didn't
Speaker 1: mean to say that. I'm seventy percent men follow me
Speaker 1: on Instagram, and my boyfriend thinks it's because I'm a
Speaker 1: hot girl, and I'm like, but I'm not posting not
Speaker 1: even a one maybe one or two. I have lay
Speaker 1: legs out in some photos, but it's not like you
Speaker 1: can't come to any of the picture. I mean, I
Speaker 1: challenge you.
Speaker 3: Maybe they think your personality is attractive.
Speaker 1: I think it's because I have a masculine enter. I
Speaker 1: have a masculine sense of humor, and I think that
Speaker 1: when I encounter women, and especially besties, they're always like
Speaker 1: kind of the girls that are like you talk like me,
Speaker 1: you talk like there's there's like kind of like a
Speaker 1: secret code we have where it's like, I say, weird
Speaker 1: shit too. I think these weird things too.
Speaker 3: I also different like experience. Yes, they've experienced something, and
Speaker 3: sometimes it's traumatic. Sometimes it's just like yeah, I've been
Speaker 3: through it. Yeah, that type of person.
Speaker 1: They're non judgmental too in a crazy way where it's
Speaker 1: like I just feel like they accept me and they're
Speaker 1: just like I'll be like I like your skirt and
Speaker 1: they're just like I don't need to hear that. But
Speaker 1: like they're like they're they like they're not desperate. Like
Speaker 1: whenever I meet a best nameay was like, you're so
Speaker 1: cute and like like compliment. I found that at meet
Speaker 1: and greets when I compliment girls clothing, they're not as
Speaker 1: excited as I would be. And I'm not just doing
Speaker 1: it to like make them like me.
Speaker 3: I really am not.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say anything if I didn't actually like something.
Speaker 1: But generally they're always just like thanks, Like they just
Speaker 1: like post with the phone and they're like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: your skirt is so cute.
Speaker 2: They're just like yeah, they're not freaking out so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd be like, oh my god, do you want it,
Speaker 1: I'll give it to you. Like I'm always like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you the price I paid for it, and
Speaker 1: you can go to the website and I'll send to you.
Speaker 1: And they're just like, I what, didn't even mean it bitch.
Speaker 4: But I was talking around Kingston having dinner the other
Speaker 4: day with a couple of musicians, and I get up
Speaker 4: from a tiny little hole in the wall and my
Speaker 4: tiny little town, and this girl comes up to me
Speaker 4: and she's like, Anya, I'm a bestie.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh what.
Speaker 4: I was so not ready for that in this context.
Speaker 4: I've never I've been recognized once in this town for
Speaker 4: my music, just from my name, but never like from
Speaker 4: the podcast. So it was so cool. And she was tall,
Speaker 4: she was lovely, she was having dinner with her mom.
Speaker 4: She was educated. I could just tell.
Speaker 2: Don't ask me how. She used some big words. She
Speaker 2: was just lovely and she just seemed, I don't know,
Speaker 2: down to earth and cool.
Speaker 3: It seems like the besties are not neither are good people.
Speaker 3: That's really important because there are some podcasts out there
Speaker 3: that I won't name. I guarantee you the hosts of
Speaker 3: those podcasts do not want to hang out with their
Speaker 3: fans at all.
Speaker 1: Agreed. I couldn't agree with you more. I know some
Speaker 1: people that have been around certain people's fan bases, and
Speaker 1: and I know I know certain people hate their fan base.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because they're obnoxious. Yeah, And they're drunk and
Speaker 1: they're mean their bullies or whatever and ours. I saw
Speaker 1: a girl the other night shout out, I.
Speaker 3: Forget your name.
Speaker 1: You're so sweet, and you brought your friend with you
Speaker 1: and her friend. It was at my show at Supernova
Speaker 1: in LA. She's like, I've seen you three times here
Speaker 1: and so sweet. I think if I've met her before,
Speaker 1: like in the parking lot there, but we took a
Speaker 1: picture and then her friend, which is always so sweet
Speaker 1: when the person that they bring vouches for, like I
Speaker 1: hear about you all the time. It's such a sweet thing.
Speaker 1: And she's like, you're like a household name in our house.
Speaker 1: Is so sweet. And yeah, they're always just they're less
Speaker 1: needed who want to really they are like they're kind
Speaker 1: of like Anya, because I.
Speaker 4: Let you go, you're having I just want to say, hey, but.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Anya. I realized you are the You're like
Speaker 1: the more mature, self aware, not desperate, not insecure version
Speaker 1: of me.
Speaker 4: Oh that's so nice because I aspire to your I
Speaker 4: always tell people like Nikki's easy breeziness around flaking and
Speaker 4: friendship is a huge asset to me.
Speaker 1: But you're like that too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like I like.
Speaker 4: The freedom to flake, Oh, freedom to I flaked the
Speaker 4: other attend or not attend.
Speaker 1: I flaked on something, but I didn't flake. Is flaking
Speaker 1: flakes like when it's the day of right, not necessarily
Speaker 1: is a week before a week?
Speaker 3: A week's not a flake unless it's a huge deal, Right,
Speaker 3: if I wouldn't do a wedding a week in advance.
Speaker 1: No, can you flake on a funeral?
Speaker 3: I think whenever it's a funeral, I do. I don't
Speaker 3: think you can flake on a funeral because you could
Speaker 3: always say that you were uncomfortable, you were too emotional.
Speaker 3: It didn't you did. The funeral is for you know,
Speaker 3: to support the family. Obviously, if you're like the sun,
Speaker 3: it's really weird if you don't go. But it to
Speaker 3: go to a funeral is a difficult thing to do.
Speaker 3: I don't think you can really flake on it.
Speaker 1: Well, I flaked on something that was an appointment, the
Speaker 1: thing I pay for, an appointment that I pay for,
Speaker 1: and I said I can't do it this week because
Speaker 1: I'm working too much. And there was a few back
Speaker 1: of like, oh, this is a bummer, and it's just like,
Speaker 1: please don't say it. I already feel like it's.
Speaker 3: A bummer, Well, you're paying them the whole to I.
Speaker 1: Think they felt like, I feel bad taking your money
Speaker 1: because we're I'm charging you for this thing and I
Speaker 1: have to charge you and I'm like and they felt guilty,
Speaker 1: but I was just like, no, I'm good with that,
Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm.
Speaker 2: Choosing not to be bummed out loud.
Speaker 1: No, I just don't like, you know, who wants to
Speaker 1: disappoint anyone. But what I really took it as is
Speaker 1: like that person just like wants to hang out with me.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, those one on one professional relationships become personal.
Speaker 1: Well hip hop Darien.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Darien, hip hop Hanning, you're.
Speaker 1: Dance teacher for over two years.
Speaker 3: The person like my my stylist, my hair stylist.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I got hair this the other day.
Speaker 1: Brian was like, and I've been seeing this stylist and
Speaker 1: me and my friend are like, you go to a stylist,
Speaker 1: like what have they don't and he's like, yeah, they
Speaker 1: do my hair and we're like, oh, a hair stylist.
Speaker 1: And he's been calling a hairstylist a stylist.
Speaker 3: I still do.
Speaker 1: Then we go stylist.
Speaker 3: Because I don't go to a barber a barber is
Speaker 3: a guy who is from Estonia, who can who can
Speaker 3: trim your head with a buzzer, and that's it. He's
Speaker 3: got pictures of other men that into one that have
Speaker 3: been on the wall since the Reagan administration, and he
Speaker 3: can do one haircut. And that's a barber. I go
Speaker 3: to a stylist who has a vision. Generally it's a woman,
Speaker 3: and she's very good at cutting my hair so that
Speaker 3: it looks nice. Even though I usually wear a hat.
Speaker 1: I know you do usually wear a hat, and you
Speaker 1: do have great hair, so I would like you to well.
Speaker 3: I wear a hat on the podcast because it's too
Speaker 3: early for me to shower first, so then I need
Speaker 3: to wear a hat.
Speaker 1: Have you ever thought of dry shampoo.
Speaker 3: I've never thought of it. It's never crossed my mind.
Speaker 3: And I'm still.
Speaker 2: Not good with greasy hair A lot of times.
Speaker 3: Yeah not me. I mean one time you commented on
Speaker 3: it because I woke up a bed hair.
Speaker 1: No, it was, it's so messy. All you need to
Speaker 1: do is brush it.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's go to break and unpack that when we
Speaker 1: get back. All right, we're back. So one thing I
Speaker 1: wanted to get to is this weekend this past weekend
Speaker 1: when I did nine sets, the same number of Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift concerts I've been to or no, it will be
Speaker 1: nine this weekend. I'm going to Taylor Swift on Saturday
Speaker 1: in LA.
Speaker 2: I think you're up to ten, Okay.
Speaker 1: No, I might be up to ten by mid next
Speaker 1: week because she is going She's doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Wait, Friday, Saturday,
Speaker 1: Sunday taking off Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or something like that.
Speaker 1: I mean she's doing six shows in La. So it's
Speaker 1: going to be wild.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: But so yeah, I did a bunch of sets last
Speaker 1: week and one of these I was I got off
Speaker 1: stage and Jeff Ross was already backstage. Like at the
Speaker 1: Comedy Store, the main room there's like a it's my
Speaker 1: favorite green room of any comedy club. It's like up
Speaker 1: there with the Comedy Seller upstairs of like comic hangouts,
Speaker 1: and it's just there's just nowhere else to really, Like
Speaker 1: at the Improv there's nowhere the comics hang but this
Speaker 1: place is it's always good. And he he was there
Speaker 1: and then I don't know how this happened, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I got he went up first. He brought
Speaker 1: me up. I get off stage, and then when I
Speaker 1: come back off stage in the back room, there are
Speaker 1: like two guys with him, and Jeff introduces me and says,
Speaker 1: this is Brian. He invented Airbnb. And I go what,
Speaker 1: And I was like, you started airbb He goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: me and two other guys. I go, you're do you
Speaker 1: still own it? And he's like yeah. And I'm like
Speaker 1: just thinking of like I can't wait to type his
Speaker 1: name in and right network of course, which by the way,
Speaker 1: you don't even need to type in net worth because
Speaker 1: it fills in right away because that's what.
Speaker 3: Everyone wants to know and if.
Speaker 1: You go to his Wikipedia, literally, it's the first thing
Speaker 1: that pops up. Yeah, but very nice guy. And I
Speaker 1: just went into So Jeff was there with his buddy Avery,
Speaker 1: and I know both of them, but I just snapped into, like,
Speaker 1: I'm with a billionaire, Like I'm with a multi billionaire.
Speaker 1: This is someone who is one of the richest people
Speaker 1: in the whole world. I gotta I gotta know things. Sure,
Speaker 1: So I went instead doctor do you really that would
Speaker 1: be your question.
Speaker 3: I would be like, what do you go to a
Speaker 3: special doctor for rich people that has special medicine that
Speaker 3: we don't get.
Speaker 1: Okay, I got to ask him that because I think
Speaker 1: we're friends. Now.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, he was.
Speaker 1: So normal, so nice as nice, as nice, as normal
Speaker 1: as you could ever imagine. I mean, you'd never think
Speaker 1: this person's a billionaire. I don't know how you're supposed
Speaker 1: to dress. I fear a billionaire, but I just imagine
Speaker 1: a lot like me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Probably actually we have a fanny pat and he probably
Speaker 1: had a stylist though. Yeah, he did not have a
Speaker 1: panion act.
Speaker 3: Was his hair really good?
Speaker 1: His hair is good? Yeah, he was. He was a
Speaker 1: good looking dude and like, uh, dressed sharply, had a
Speaker 1: white like white jacket on. I liked wearing white is bold,
Speaker 1: and I think he kind of had white pants on.
Speaker 1: So it was almost like a whole white look. But
Speaker 1: it wasn't like trying too hard at all. It really
Speaker 1: that sounds like it was and you're rolling your eyes,
Speaker 1: But it wasn't bad. He looked cute and so what'd
Speaker 1: you ask him? So at first I said, I'm like,
Speaker 1: my whole brain is shuffling, like I got to figure
Speaker 1: out what this guy and he's hanging out though, so
Speaker 1: I'm like okay, I got some time. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: first went to I needed to ease in for play
Speaker 1: cause I'm going to get to the dirty stuff, but
Speaker 1: I need to know. I just was like, so, I go,
Speaker 1: you you started Airbnb? What year? Two thousand and seven? Okay, well, okay,
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, can you give me this, like
Speaker 1: just the short story of how it began? I know
Speaker 1: I could google this, and I'm sorry, I asked, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure if you've told this a million times and
Speaker 1: he's like, no, that's fine, and I go, wait, you
Speaker 1: know what? Tell me the name was the name Airbnb?
Speaker 1: Like is that? Where did that come from? And it's
Speaker 1: kind of an interesting story. The first Airbnb was These
Speaker 1: guys were like out of college. He's a year I
Speaker 1: think younger or older than me, So they were like
Speaker 1: fresh out of college. He was an engineer. He was
Speaker 1: designing toys and like sports equipment or something. You know,
Speaker 1: he was just designing things products, and he and his
Speaker 1: buddies noticed there was a convention in San Francisco in town.
Speaker 1: It was like, I think it was like a democratic convention.
Speaker 1: That might have been later on the story, so forgive
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong, but there was some kind of
Speaker 1: convention in town, and they noticed like all the hotels
Speaker 1: were booked up because they were trying to maybe get
Speaker 1: their friends a hotel. And they were like, well, we
Speaker 1: have space here. Wouldn't it be funny if we just
Speaker 1: made a website and put up our apartment and we'll
Speaker 1: get some air mattresses and it'll be an air mattress
Speaker 1: B and B bed and breakfast. So they just put
Speaker 1: one room up on it and it sold and there
Speaker 1: were three people that stayed. There was the first three
Speaker 1: customers for Airbnb. And he told me there was like
Speaker 1: an interesting story about like who they were, and they're
Speaker 1: just like there's three people out there that are like
Speaker 1: the first Airbnb people. But another thing. So that's how
Speaker 1: it started. And then he went back home for Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: to his family and was like kind of telling them
Speaker 1: about this thing that he did, and everyone was making
Speaker 1: fun of him. It's such a dumbyd And then I
Speaker 1: think then that's when the Democratic National Convention came through
Speaker 1: and they were like, let's try it again. I think
Speaker 1: that before it was a tech convention thing and that
Speaker 1: and the Democrats loved it. People are like they're like
Speaker 1: they may maybe put up like three more places like
Speaker 1: their friends did it. Sure, and the Democrats didn't love it,
Speaker 1: but they they had something going. And then the Republican
Speaker 1: National Convention came through and they didn't like it. Oh
Speaker 1: had no room. So it just kind of shows you.
Speaker 3: That, Wow, it's a cross factor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if you remember back when Airbnb came out,
Speaker 1: it was insane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: And I have a SuperHost right on my podcast.
Speaker 2: A former SuperHost. I airbnbd for years.
Speaker 4: That's how I paid my rent when NICKI moved out,
Speaker 4: and it was hard and I did not I was
Speaker 4: not like providing the best shampoos.
Speaker 2: I had problems with my shower, I'm sure. But in
Speaker 2: New York City, I was almost always booked.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was, but it was wild. When we
Speaker 1: first heard out about it was kind of the around
Speaker 1: the same time Uber happened, and we were all like,
Speaker 1: why would you ever get in someone a stranger's car?
Speaker 1: We all used to be scared of strangers.
Speaker 3: I remember my first Uber? Do I remember my first Uber?
Speaker 3: Because I was so baffled by the fact that this
Speaker 3: existed because I was in New York City and it's like, well,
Speaker 3: there's taxis, why would we take an uber. I was
Speaker 3: at the that like on the West's side yard where
Speaker 3: like the tennis courts are and like the pool and
Speaker 3: all that sports shit, and and my friend was like,
Speaker 3: was taken uber? And it wound up being so easy.
Speaker 3: I was like, they come, just pick you up. You
Speaker 3: have to fight. You have to fight anybody for it.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes you do. Yeah, you have to fight
Speaker 1: when you get in.
Speaker 3: It was really good and the rest is history. Then
Speaker 3: after that day they said that we're going to make
Speaker 3: this a bigger thing.
Speaker 1: You were the one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was the one.
Speaker 1: If we can get that guy to believe in this,
Speaker 1: we can get anyone. That's how Like. I do remember
Speaker 1: hearing about Airbnb and just being like, gross, I don't
Speaker 1: want to stay at someone's house. I mean, it reminds
Speaker 1: you of the Jim Gaffigan joke about hotels and he
Speaker 1: breaks down. Like if you if someone was if you're
Speaker 1: trying to get a new mattress like you are, and
Speaker 1: someone was like, do you want this stranger's old mattress
Speaker 1: to sleep on, You'd go like, no, disgusting, I would never.
Speaker 1: What about a pillows? We'll put on some new sheets,
Speaker 1: but just the pillows we'll wash the sheets. You'd go disgusting,
Speaker 1: but we do that every time we go to a hotel,
Speaker 1: and we pay for the luxury of it. A bathroobe
Speaker 1: that someone's worn before. You go, look at this bathroom.
Speaker 1: Someone so excited, someone's chirked off in that before. But
Speaker 1: we were just in this illusion. But and you are
Speaker 1: your worst self in a hotel room. Oh, there is
Speaker 1: no nothing holding back in a hotel room. I know
Speaker 1: I'm living in one right now, and it's I have
Speaker 1: to check myself. It's like it's gross. And yeah, there's
Speaker 1: just just towels, a napkins is the classic one, and
Speaker 1: just always missing the toilet when I throw the toilet
Speaker 1: paper behind me. Sure eighty percent of the time, I
Speaker 1: own I do that anyway in my life.
Speaker 3: That was another segment I'm Not Safe, where we went
Speaker 3: to a hotel room and did the black plan and
Speaker 3: tried to check what was the dirtiest part of the
Speaker 3: hotel room pillows? Right, I think the dirtiest part was
Speaker 3: the remote for the television, because you interviewed a cleaning
Speaker 3: lady at a hotel and she said, we have never
Speaker 3: once even put a napkin on the remote on a
Speaker 3: hotel television.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's when I came. Someone told me about
Speaker 1: the You take the bag from the ice bucket, yes,
Speaker 1: and you put it around the remote control and you
Speaker 1: tie it not and then it can it can still
Speaker 1: work throughout the bag, and then if you lose it
Speaker 1: in bed, you can hear the crinkling too, so you double.
Speaker 4: But I think how they recently learned the horror of
Speaker 4: I read on Reddit or something people use hotel kettles
Speaker 4: to clean and sterilize their underwear.
Speaker 1: Told me this, and I couldn't believe it until I
Speaker 1: googled it and disgusting and I am at all I've
Speaker 1: never even heard of this, but it is a saying
Speaker 1: that people walk the sterilize their underwear by boiling it
Speaker 1: in the tea kettle.
Speaker 3: Why don't they just take it home and wash it
Speaker 3: in a washing machine? Who is underwear?
Speaker 1: I don't get it.
Speaker 4: I've been drinking tea out of your disgusting underwear broth.
Speaker 1: Do you know how much we eat feces every day?
Speaker 1: That's why when Kirsten dropped cookies on the floor the
Speaker 1: other day, I go, yeah, of course, and some of
Speaker 1: us it's a seasoning. But Kirsten dropped cookies on the
Speaker 1: floor the other day and she sent us a picture
Speaker 1: of them all like splattered on the floor, and I
Speaker 1: was like, just pick them up and wipe them off
Speaker 1: because they unless you can see it, it's not going
Speaker 1: to kill you. And then I loved it because I
Speaker 1: saw but she said they were wet, so I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense.
Speaker 3: If they're wet, they pick on them and then they're
Speaker 3: just not enjoyable if there's like hair and pieces of
Speaker 3: wet if you.
Speaker 1: Can see it. But if you can't see anything and
Speaker 1: you examine it closely, eat the cookie, it's you. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're starting inhaling skin, dust and cells and stuff. He's
Speaker 1: dust all the time.
Speaker 3: Time.
Speaker 2: Doesn't kiss girls.
Speaker 4: It doesn't French kiss because he's disgusted by it.
Speaker 1: He's right, you know what, at least he follows he
Speaker 1: follows logic. If he's not eating something off the ground,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be making out with a girl. That was
Speaker 1: always my argument when people would be like, God, I
Speaker 1: got sick, I have the flu, I got a cold.
Speaker 1: There's like there's a baby on the plane that was sneezing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, or was it you ate ass this weekend,
Speaker 1: Like why do you? Why are you so grossed out
Speaker 1: by sharing a drink or like a spoon or something,
Speaker 1: but like you can't have off the floor. But Joe
Speaker 1: Lis had joke in his act that I loved as
Speaker 1: someone who eats off the floor constantly, and he was like,
Speaker 1: has anyone ever died from eating something off the floor?
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen a toddler pick up a cookie
Speaker 1: and they just start bleeding from their eyes off the floor.
Speaker 1: It doesn't happen. And I know you could argue like, no,
Speaker 1: you get sick later. No you don't. You're getting sick
Speaker 1: because you're like using too much hand soap and you're
Speaker 1: I've stopped washing my hands. I barely hands too. Why
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm so.
Speaker 3: Disgusting guys, Why wait, you should wash your hands?
Speaker 1: If I have not pooped on my hand, My hand
Speaker 1: does not feel wet from a poop, from wiping or
Speaker 1: like from.
Speaker 3: From from p okay, I don't, okay, care okay.
Speaker 1: Because I know that I touched the handle and I
Speaker 1: and I always hit the flush with my foot if
Speaker 1: I'm enough public place, I'm sorry to people who are
Speaker 1: touching that and it's touching the butt of my foot.
Speaker 1: Wash your hands, then I'm not going to I don't
Speaker 1: care what you do.
Speaker 2: But if you were cooking for me, I would want
Speaker 2: you to wash your hands.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, of course, But but what on you? In
Speaker 1: what universe?
Speaker 2: I never would if you were like and.
Speaker 1: Hand it out to you and say you want some,
Speaker 1: say why did you get some of your own? I'm
Speaker 1: planning on eating this whole.
Speaker 3: If you just took a piss and then you didn't
Speaker 3: wash your hands, then would you and then someone said hello,
Speaker 3: and then would you shake their hand? Or did you
Speaker 3: feel bad?
Speaker 1: Yes? Because guess what, this is my logic and maybe
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, and bestie's are gonna revolve and now now
Speaker 1: they're going to be judgmental, but I don't think they will.
Speaker 1: If you are walking around, if this door handle right
Speaker 1: here has more germs on it than the than or
Speaker 1: at least as many as something near my toilet, because
Speaker 1: that's the door's handle is not getting cleaned, that's getting sanitized.
Speaker 1: Every time a maid comes in my toilet, at least
Speaker 1: is probably a.
Speaker 3: Couple of times particles.
Speaker 1: So no one would be offended if I touched the
Speaker 1: door handle and then shake shook your hand, So why
Speaker 1: do you care I didn't. If I have debris on
Speaker 1: my hand, I'm gonna sec I don't want to like shit.
Speaker 1: Germs make your immune system stronger. We need germs. I
Speaker 1: have to say. I don't get sick. And so if
Speaker 1: this didn't work, if this made you sick, and maybe
Speaker 1: that's a I should knock on wait, where's wood? Knock
Speaker 1: on wood, knock on wood. But it makes you mentally sick.
Speaker 1: I think maybe there's a bacteria that eats my brain
Speaker 1: and makes me want to jump off a bridge. But
Speaker 1: I also think that, yeah, just I think it's hypocritical.
Speaker 1: At least your friend is in line with his world,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to make out with girls because
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do all these other things when people are
Speaker 1: hypocritical and don't. When Chris grimaces when I like a
Speaker 1: piece of salad, will like drop on the the table
Speaker 1: and I'll just pick it up and put it back on,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want every morsel and I'm I'm like
Speaker 1: a food weirdo. So I just want to eat everything
Speaker 1: that I looked at. What I was gonna eat. It's
Speaker 1: already in my body as far as i'm concerned, so
Speaker 1: it better all end up in my body. No matter what,
Speaker 1: I'm going to wash my hands after this podcast, you should.
Speaker 1: I do it in front of you, performatively. Most of
Speaker 1: the time I did wash my hands just now you did, yeah,
Speaker 1: before we begin, because I knew I was going to
Speaker 1: touch the equipment. I'm aware of that, sure, well.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, whenever I'm holding a microphone or something,
Speaker 3: my hands just feel like they could use a nice wash.
Speaker 1: Now that's smart. If I touch a dog, I'm gonna wash.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest. I don't want to touch your dog.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, I'll touch your dog on you
Speaker 1: because I've never met it before and it looks so
Speaker 1: fuzzy and cute. But most dogs make me feel soiled
Speaker 1: when I'm touching that much.
Speaker 4: To wash my hands after my dog, I was conditioned
Speaker 4: to do that growing up. I was like, never eat
Speaker 4: after touching a dog, and so I still I always
Speaker 4: have to wash my hands because they have an.
Speaker 2: Oil on them.
Speaker 3: Don't you give your dog kisses?
Speaker 4: I make out with her, I kiss her cheek, I
Speaker 4: kiss her nose, and her nose.
Speaker 1: Doesn't have anything on it. It's totally clean.
Speaker 4: But I wipe her butthole every day after oil poop.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I clean my dog's asshole.
Speaker 3: Why you don't have no wonder she likes you.
Speaker 4: Because she sleeps on our bed, because she rubs it
Speaker 4: all over the fucking place.
Speaker 2: Does it give you don't wipe your dog's ass.
Speaker 3: If you don't wipe that dog's ass, does it get
Speaker 3: get everywhere?
Speaker 4: Sometimes they have a messy poop and well, Marry and
Speaker 4: Will does your butt and you got to get it
Speaker 4: out and like wash it.
Speaker 1: But that's like if it's a runny one.
Speaker 3: If it's a messy dog runny shit, you got to
Speaker 3: change the diet and then they don't have a mess.
Speaker 3: You want a solid every day.
Speaker 2: Do you think every dog has a peepe?
Speaker 3: I don't know anybody else. I've never met anyone else
Speaker 3: who wipes their dogs ass. Really, I'm not trying to
Speaker 3: make you feel bad, but I think.
Speaker 2: That anyone listening give it a shoesh Why not?
Speaker 1: No, it makes sense because your dog's ass is literally
Speaker 1: on your pillow right now in the background. So I
Speaker 1: don't think it's a bad idea to wipe your dogs ass.
Speaker 1: If you go to see on if.
Speaker 3: You're fine, if you're fine with it.
Speaker 1: It's literally his asshole on your pillow.
Speaker 3: I love it. If it doesn't bother you, your dog's
Speaker 3: ass and it's just fine, then it doesn't matter. But
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, I don't think I've ever met anyone.
Speaker 5: He knows that if she farts, the poop particles are
Speaker 5: still getting on the pillow.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry on you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no avoiding the poop particles.
Speaker 2: Now, now you're just you're splitting hairs.
Speaker 1: No buttole hair, Yeah, exactly, the whole hairs are parting
Speaker 1: when the poop.
Speaker 2: I also wipe after every walk.
Speaker 4: I have a cold cloth and I just wipe her
Speaker 4: nose and face because there's an aunt because she sniffs
Speaker 4: ship and I'm like.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be kissing that face.
Speaker 1: That's what everyone should do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But I speaking of germs, I have been going
Speaker 3: to mattress stores and laying down a mattresses in the stories,
Speaker 3: and my god, some of these mattresses. I went to
Speaker 3: a Macy's, a basement Macy's, and those mattresses I think
Speaker 3: have never been touched by any sort of cleaning implement
Speaker 3: for at least six years.
Speaker 1: I would think the basement of a Macy's. A mattress
Speaker 1: department of a Macy's would look as if it was
Speaker 1: a place to hide out during the Last of Us.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yes, that's what it is now like it
Speaker 1: would just be an abandoned I gotta say.
Speaker 3: I went to the mall in Tarzana, which is a
Speaker 3: place that I've never really been, and the mall was
Speaker 3: fucking hopping. I thought malls were dead.
Speaker 1: I think malls are backed.
Speaker 4: I went to one today and I thought it would
Speaker 4: be dead too, and it was. There was a food
Speaker 4: court there was like, what were you like Vegas Starbucks.
Speaker 4: I was on a road trip back from Canada.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, you picked one at a mall and
Speaker 1: you didn't know it until you pulled up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, God, damn it.
Speaker 4: I think you and I have been at that mall
Speaker 4: because we've been so many than anyone.
Speaker 2: The dice and hair dryer, I think it was.
Speaker 4: Remember I took a thing I would do, Oh god, is.
Speaker 1: Under a Dison hair dryer and not remember as even
Speaker 1: a thing of it. Not even that's something that you
Speaker 1: should obviously imprinted in your memory. I guess I did
Speaker 1: wash my pussy that day.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 1: That's so funny. Yeah, so it's very jermy.
Speaker 3: Oh, the Macy's basement in Tartan, the mall in Tarzana.
Speaker 3: There was people's hair all over the mattress and like,
Speaker 3: I wear my hat when I'm laying down those pillows.
Speaker 3: But there's dandriff on the pillows, there's hair on the mattresses,
Speaker 3: there's stains on the mattresses.
Speaker 2: Are there sheets on the mattress or it's just no naked.
Speaker 3: Straight mattress and like you're supposed to, you know, lay
Speaker 3: in that for like fifteen minutes and it's like it's
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Is a little long week. Kanya wasn't there for yesterday's
Speaker 1: podcast and she hasn't been able to listen to it yet.
Speaker 1: I just want to hear now that the besties, the
Speaker 1: besties are all in on something that you're not in
Speaker 1: on and this will be fun. Okay, how many hours
Speaker 1: do you think Brian Frangie spent at a mattress store
Speaker 1: one day before he purchased the mattress. And this is
Speaker 1: not to say he didn't spend hours prior to this trip,
Speaker 1: but in one day, the day he purchased his mattress
Speaker 1: that he now hates and he's trying to replace. How
Speaker 1: many hours did he spend at the store that day?
Speaker 2: I want to say, did I hear this?
Speaker 5: Was it?
Speaker 1: Six?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I kind of didn't you think that was a joke number?
Speaker 2: Yes, for sure? Wait six consecutive hours?
Speaker 3: Yes, Anya a lunch.
Speaker 1: Oh, he went and got a smoothie because he was
Speaker 1: forced to because the guy was like, I'm starving, man,
Speaker 1: I got to eat. Yeah, the salesman, were you working.
Speaker 2: At the like, were you on your phone? Were you
Speaker 2: or are you just lying there?
Speaker 3: Star are you talking to I would lay in the
Speaker 3: mattress for fifteen minutes, and then I would be like, okay,
Speaker 3: I think I didn't know how this feels, and I
Speaker 3: would get up and I would lay in another mattress
Speaker 3: for fifteen minutes, and occasionally the man would come over
Speaker 3: and say, you, how does that mattress? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Ever a time you got on a mattress and go
Speaker 1: I don't need to do the whole fifteen minutes, because
Speaker 1: it's clearly not it.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I said I need I need longer, real like
Speaker 3: speed data. I need twenty five minutes on this one. Really,
Speaker 3: I just I was so baffled and confused. I had
Speaker 3: no idea what was going on.
Speaker 1: This did not yield good results for him. I was
Speaker 1: terrible results because he was famished, he was confused, he
Speaker 1: was missing his family, he was hungry, he was homesick.
Speaker 3: He was I felt like a refugee.
Speaker 1: He really was. And he picked the worst man. I
Speaker 1: picked the worst mattress being discontinued.
Speaker 3: Probably, I don't know, but I do want to publicly
Speaker 3: complain about temperpedick for a second.
Speaker 1: Let's get some besties writing to you about the mattress
Speaker 1: you have. Okay, here's what What do you want in
Speaker 1: a mattress? And if the best he can fit these requirements,
Speaker 1: write to you.
Speaker 3: I like a mattress. I'm looking I want to sleep
Speaker 3: on my back, and I'm looking for a foam mattress,
Speaker 3: a memory foam mattress that I sink into and I
Speaker 3: stay in that position and then wake up like a
Speaker 3: vampire that has not moved an inch the entire night.
Speaker 1: Because he's learned from his doctors that for his health
Speaker 1: he should sleep on his back. And we don't need
Speaker 1: to get into why because it's a whole other podcast,
Speaker 1: but he needs to be sleeping on his back and
Speaker 1: he wants to sink into it and mold it around
Speaker 1: his body.
Speaker 3: And I slept in an airbnb in Utah and there
Speaker 3: was a foam mattress and I slept in it and
Speaker 3: I had a great night's a good night's sleep. And
Speaker 3: then we messaged the airbnb owner and there was a
Speaker 3: memory folm mattress and they said that mattress is a
Speaker 3: five hundred dollars mattress we got from Wayfair. So I
Speaker 3: remember this. Yeah, so I know that a memory film
Speaker 3: mattress is good for me, But I just the one
Speaker 3: that I got is hard as a rubber brick and
Speaker 3: it makes my back feel like hell help him?
Speaker 2: What happened? So waiting for Noah's for months.
Speaker 1: It got ninety days to return.
Speaker 3: I would like to every stocking.
Speaker 5: I don't know who this bestI is, but we did
Speaker 5: have a comment on our YouTube page from the last
Speaker 5: episode that you not the second the first episode where
Speaker 5: you talked about this issue.
Speaker 1: Oh no, this has been going on that the person
Speaker 1: run episode three of Mattress Gime Mattress Gate.
Speaker 5: So the bestie said that it does take I think
Speaker 5: three months for your spine to also adjust to a
Speaker 5: new mattress, so your body also has to adjust to
Speaker 5: It's not just the mattress exact.
Speaker 3: But this is beyond, This is beyond that. This is
Speaker 3: horrific sleep.
Speaker 1: Have the luxe breeze from temper Pedic and can you
Speaker 1: confirm that that sucks? Medium hybrid Lucky medium hybrid lux breeze.
Speaker 1: If you've got six thousand dollars mattress recently after spending
Speaker 1: a fourth of a day.
Speaker 4: Wait a second, what about the obvious thing? Why don't
Speaker 4: you return it and then contact the Airbnb and off
Speaker 4: of them double for that exact mattress.
Speaker 3: And I can buy that mattress. I can buy that
Speaker 3: mattress off Wayfair. But it's a shitty mattress. It won't
Speaker 3: last that. I'll get it in a last like seven months.
Speaker 2: That's the reason they are seven months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Why would it last seven months?
Speaker 3: Because I read the reviews of the mattress and people
Speaker 3: talked about it like this mattress is fucking terrible. It
Speaker 3: was nice out of the box, but you he.
Speaker 1: Went to Purple today. I went to like a they
Speaker 1: use like a it's almost like rubbery.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a it's like a rubber egg crate
Speaker 3: type thing, and I gotta say pretty comfortable.
Speaker 1: I like those when I felt the material because I
Speaker 1: used to do ad reads for them back in the day.
Speaker 1: They sent me like a little sample and I used
Speaker 1: to just play with that thing constantly and like press
Speaker 1: on it and feel like, oh, how your pressure disperses,
Speaker 1: And so I'm very into it press. I think we
Speaker 1: should get a sponsorship because I think if they gave
Speaker 1: me a king sized mattress, I would talk about it
Speaker 1: non stop because I'm looking for a new mattress. Purple
Speaker 1: off your living Yeah, and I really need a king
Speaker 1: I mean I'm kind of using you as someone to
Speaker 1: go out and try these mattresses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I'm ready to go to more mattress stores.
Speaker 1: Kin of speaking of time being wasted, can I just say.
Speaker 3: That we're sorry for this.
Speaker 1: Yes, first of all, apologies, We'll move on. But this
Speaker 1: is it's it's interesting. I mean, this is a this
Speaker 1: is a big purchase in your life. We'd spend half
Speaker 1: a love of life sleeping. Another thing someone spends half
Speaker 1: of their life doing. If you happen to be a
Speaker 1: fan of the show is watching suits. If anyone out there,
Speaker 1: suits is the number one show on Netflix. It's been
Speaker 1: It's there's was like three point nine billion minutes watched
Speaker 1: over the weekend or something. It's something like a USA show. Yes,
Speaker 1: but now Netflix bought it. And if you've been on
Speaker 1: Netflix in the past month, they are pushing suits so hard.
Speaker 1: It's always in your top like suggested things. But so Chris,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend ages ago, when we were not dating. It
Speaker 1: was in between our dating, and he had a he
Speaker 1: was an Abu Abu Dhabi for an Abu Jabi. And
Speaker 1: this is the favorite best joke I've ever written. Possibly
Speaker 1: hell Sinki Heaven. Oh yeah, hell Sink were like Heaven floating. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I did not say that on stage, but I
Speaker 1: said it to any and Chris backstage and they were like,
Speaker 1: say it tonight, and I was like I can't think
Speaker 1: I can. I don't think I ever want to repeat that.
Speaker 1: But because I just was like more like Keaven floating,
Speaker 1: and they just slowly turned their heads to me like
Speaker 1: did you just think of that? It was the same
Speaker 1: moment like when I we made so jelgged. I was
Speaker 1: because I was just like kind of mumbling to myself
Speaker 1: in the corner. I was like hell sinking more like
Speaker 1: Kevin floating, and but I remember you both like did
Speaker 1: you just think of that? Which is the same response
Speaker 1: that I got when I was in Kapa Kapa Gamma
Speaker 1: and I was on a double decker bus on pledge day,
Speaker 1: on like bid day when you find out you're in
Speaker 1: Kapa Kapa Gama, and we loaded onto a double decker
Speaker 1: bus and I had no friends. I was anorexic. No
Speaker 1: one wanted to talk to me. Everyone hated me. I
Speaker 1: was walking skeleton. Everyone was begrudgingly like even having me
Speaker 1: in their presence, and what's coming make friends? No, it's
Speaker 1: not funny funny, And I was like, I go, guys,
Speaker 1: I hope we don't. I hope we don't go under
Speaker 1: under any low bridges because then we'll get decappaated. It
Speaker 1: was just like not the worst, It's just like a
Speaker 1: cute little thing. I wasn't like, hey, everyone listen to
Speaker 1: brilliant I am. I think I just said it like
Speaker 1: to someone I don't even know. And I remember this
Speaker 1: girl was just like did you just think of that?
Speaker 1: And I was like, I think I don't even I
Speaker 1: wasn't like waiting good, but but it's it's heaven.
Speaker 3: Floating she was asking you that because she never thinks
Speaker 3: of anything exactly.
Speaker 2: Is there a weird joke about wall?
Speaker 1: Oh no, that was Henry Phillips thing. There's a there's
Speaker 1: a really fun game to play at all. No, you
Speaker 1: didn't understand it. That's why I was wrong. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I uh so that the game is and I'll talk
Speaker 1: like Henry Phillips to deliver the line. My friend and
Speaker 1: I we were at a house party and the cops
Speaker 1: broke it up, and so we had we had to
Speaker 1: climb over this. Oh no, this is how you do it,
Speaker 1: my friends. You create it. Let me just tell this
Speaker 1: rasis you tell a story and in the story, you
Speaker 1: act like you can't remember the name of the city.
Speaker 1: You present the name of the city in an uptose way,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like you can't remember the name of
Speaker 1: the city. Then you, the person listening to my story,
Speaker 1: you offer, oh, is it this city? And then it
Speaker 1: sounds a lot like what I'm saying. So here we go.
Speaker 1: My friend and I were in this city in Washington
Speaker 1: and the cops at a house party, and the cops
Speaker 1: broke it up, and we had to run through our
Speaker 1: neighbor's yard and and and jump all over all these things.
Speaker 1: And it was in this city in Seattle. No this,
Speaker 1: we had to jump over all these Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: just say, just say it anya wala walla, no offence
Speaker 1: offencea and we were So you say, I did a
Speaker 1: poor version of it. But you just pick cities and
Speaker 1: then you come up with a word that sounds like
Speaker 1: the city and make a story around that thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So what's another So you have to really
Speaker 3: do some prep work in your head.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, so it's like it takes a lot.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, job, that's that's kind of hard.
Speaker 1: That's only what I remember the version of. But it's
Speaker 1: it's a fun game to play when you're really bored
Speaker 1: and you know, okay, okay, got one.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I I was trying to find a girlfriend
Speaker 3: at the time, and I was, you know, I met
Speaker 3: up with this girl at this bar. It was this place.
Speaker 3: It was in Ohio somewhere, no Cincinnati. I really wanted
Speaker 3: to go out with this girl and no singleton.
Speaker 1: No, that's good. No singleton works because you were singleton.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good.
Speaker 3: I wasn't dating.
Speaker 1: That was good. Okay. So that's a fun game. So
Speaker 1: I took you away off track. Sorry, No, I forget
Speaker 1: what I was even saying. We got to go to
Speaker 1: break and I'll come back with the ending to my
Speaker 1: the Airbnb guy thing. All right, we're back, So Suits,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get to Airbnb Guy. But Suits is this show?
Speaker 1: And do you ever hear find out something about your
Speaker 1: boyfriend that you just don't or like your significant other
Speaker 1: where you're like, what really? Chris today on his radio show,
Speaker 1: I was listening to it. They were talking about Suits,
Speaker 1: and he said that he has watched all of it,
Speaker 1: which is fine, You've watched all of Suits, right, there
Speaker 1: are nine seasons of Suits. There are one hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty two episodes of Suits. My boyfriend has watched all
Speaker 1: of it. And this all began because he was a
Speaker 1: nabu Jabi for a Nabu Jabi and he met a
Speaker 1: girl on bumble and they were like kind of flirting
Speaker 1: and they were talking about like shows they liked, and
Speaker 1: she was like, I've never wanted to watch Game of
Speaker 1: Thrones and he loves Game of Thrones. So he was like, okay,
Speaker 1: here's a He's like really fun when he's flirting and
Speaker 1: like trying to get to know a girl like he's
Speaker 1: done really cute things. I think it's adorable. I love
Speaker 1: these stories. But he like challenged her. He was like,
Speaker 1: you watch Game of Thrones. I'll watch whatever show you
Speaker 1: think most people don't like, but might that you love.
Speaker 1: And she was like Suits, and he was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna like Game. There was a lot
Speaker 1: more than I'll like Suits. So he started watching Suits
Speaker 1: and he loved it and he couldn't stop. And he
Speaker 1: never even met up with that girl. She definitely didn't
Speaker 1: watch Game of Thrones, but he has watched nine seasons
Speaker 1: of Suits. And so I'm in the car driving and
Speaker 1: I did get out my calculator as I heard this,
Speaker 1: because I needed to confront him, and I did forty
Speaker 1: four because an hour long show is forty four minutes
Speaker 1: times one thirty two divided by uh sixty so hours
Speaker 1: and then divided by twenty four forty four times one
Speaker 1: times one thirty two divided by sixty times I mean
Speaker 1: divided by twenty four.
Speaker 3: Okay, I have a number.
Speaker 1: And I said, babe, you've I go one. I just
Speaker 1: wrote him out of context, one thirty two suits, I
Speaker 1: go four days of your life has been spent watching Suits.
Speaker 1: Yeah that listen, I get it. I've watched you know,
Speaker 1: six seasons and five seasons of succession and in a
Speaker 1: short amount of time.
Speaker 4: Suits, I've wasted so much time Kardashians, A Bachelor, Bachelorette,
Speaker 4: Bachelor and Paradise.
Speaker 1: Have you ever edited up like that? Four days of
Speaker 1: my boyfriend's life is watching suit.
Speaker 3: Which shows like that? With like Bachelor and Paradise. You've
Speaker 3: got a double desk. You've got to be like cooking dinner,
Speaker 3: doing other things too.
Speaker 4: How many cult documentaries robbed us and lives? I mean
Speaker 4: every cult I've watched every every you know what really
Speaker 4: robbed me though I just had it on the tip
Speaker 4: of my brain.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: But man, Kardashians are robbing you. You're watching all of
Speaker 1: it now, can you give ship?
Speaker 2: Is the kid?
Speaker 1: Is it good? A clip of Chris Kardashi ChRI like hard.
Speaker 2: So is l Chloe is so funny?
Speaker 1: Chris goes I I saw a clip the other day.
Speaker 1: She was like, there is an I've there have been
Speaker 1: lots of headlines written about me. The other day there
Speaker 1: was one and the cover was Chris Jrenner Drinks Alone,
Speaker 1: Drunk and Alone and I have to say, what's wrong
Speaker 1: with that? It was just so funny, it was such
Speaker 1: a cute way. It's remind me of my mom so much.
Speaker 1: And she goes, what is wrong with that? She's adorable?
Speaker 1: What do you can you just as someone who used
Speaker 1: to watch the show on Ean has no interest in
Speaker 1: supporting their show on Hulo for whatever reason, because I
Speaker 1: just I don't know how jealous. They're too pretty, they're.
Speaker 2: Too definitely triggering at times.
Speaker 4: I how so uh oh, I mean it makes you
Speaker 4: start valuing looking like that, And it's just not a
Speaker 4: normal way to look. You have to have so much
Speaker 4: surgery and so many procedures to look they're like superhuman,
Speaker 4: alien like.
Speaker 2: It's not a normal way of human faces.
Speaker 1: But I guess I'm wondering. Most people I talk to
Speaker 1: that watch it say they look like it's like it's
Speaker 1: are people just lying when they say it's crazy the
Speaker 1: way they look. I don't want to look that way,
Speaker 1: And then you or is it that they that way?
Speaker 1: And then you start thinking it's normal.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, start thinking it's normal. I like that.
Speaker 4: This season, Chloe is really opening up about our surrogacy.
Speaker 4: She had a child via surrogate. She gets very into it,
Speaker 4: and I think, not Nick, you've talked about this, like
Speaker 4: not enough people talk about the feelings around it, what
Speaker 4: it even means to have a surrogate.
Speaker 1: It's like who is it your egg? Or is it
Speaker 1: her egg? I'm away when these bitches have kids. I
Speaker 1: know it's none of my business. But when you have
Speaker 1: a surrogacy, that's fine. Tell us if it's really yours.
Speaker 1: And I know it shouldn't matter, but doesn't it kind
Speaker 1: isn't that kind of I want to know, just for
Speaker 1: myself of a woman that like should I put my
Speaker 1: should I freeze my eggs? Because is this something that
Speaker 1: is that that easy to do? Or is it? And
Speaker 1: I just want to see if it's socially acceptable to
Speaker 1: not have your own egg, because I really don't feel
Speaker 1: like freezing my eggs, Like will people judge me and
Speaker 1: think that I don't love my kid as much as theirs?
Speaker 1: If I do a surrogacy without my own egg? Why
Speaker 1: are people not telling us?
Speaker 3: Because you can.
Speaker 1: Do with sergacy just means someone else is having your
Speaker 1: baby that you will get afterwards, but it does not
Speaker 1: imply it's your egg or not.
Speaker 3: So I wonder about the man doesn't either. I want
Speaker 3: to know just someone. Then why is that not just
Speaker 3: like adopts.
Speaker 1: None of our fucking It's exactly. It's it's just adopting knowing.
Speaker 1: It's like pre paying for It's a layaway and lay away.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: So did she talk about like bonding with it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she talked about having trouble bonding with it. And
Speaker 4: I thought that was cool because that's a probably not
Speaker 4: a very popular thing to say. Maybe it's a risky
Speaker 4: thing to say, like I'm having trouble bonding with this kid.
Speaker 4: And she's like, it's just weird, like you just all
Speaker 4: of a sudden, one day someone hands you a child
Speaker 4: and you're supposed to be like.
Speaker 3: Oh my baby.
Speaker 4: And I thought that was cool that she admitted that
Speaker 4: she was kind of having some issues, you know, feeling
Speaker 4: close and I don't know, I like that.
Speaker 1: And she'll talk about wanting to murder her child with
Speaker 1: a steak knife.
Speaker 2: That is what.
Speaker 1: That is the most amazing thing.
Speaker 2: I waste four days of my life on that documentary.
Speaker 2: When did that scene happen?
Speaker 1: Shields. I like fantasies of murdering her daughter and like
Speaker 1: cracking her neck and stuff. Oh my god, through Brooks Shields.
Speaker 1: Because she had postpartum and she did not bond with
Speaker 1: the baby at all. She wanted a baby more than anything,
Speaker 1: like as much as any girl you know wants a child.
Speaker 1: She finally has this baby and her husband like husband
Speaker 1: hands it to her and she's like, I feel nothing.
Speaker 1: This is in the emergency room and the husband's bonding
Speaker 1: with the child, and then he starts judging her and
Speaker 1: telling her I've never seen a look at all these
Speaker 1: mothers they would go to the park, look at all
Speaker 1: these mothers who love their kids. What is going on
Speaker 1: with you? And she's like, I just don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't want it around me. It grosses me.
Speaker 3: It's like that's how I feel about my mattress disinterest.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's so similar. And so she just give it
Speaker 1: four months. They gonna put it in, right, no bed bugs
Speaker 1: on the kids?
Speaker 2: Was this in her doc?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I missed that, I think ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: She eventually got treated for it because it was the
Speaker 1: most part of them. So she was on medication for
Speaker 1: it and it didn't make Yeah, and she loves her
Speaker 1: child now, but at first, she really did not like
Speaker 1: her kid, and she felt so much guilt about it,
Speaker 1: and then she was starting to have intrusive thoughts of
Speaker 1: like murder it, like homicidal thoughts that she would She
Speaker 1: was like, I'd never do it, but it was like
Speaker 1: crossing my mind to do it. And it freaked me
Speaker 1: out because I would just be so jealous of mothers
Speaker 1: that in the same way that I get jealous of
Speaker 1: like things I wish I had, Like she was like,
Speaker 1: I want to have that, but I don't have that
Speaker 1: feeling at all, and I don't know what to do
Speaker 1: about it. And she went on Oprah and talked about it,
Speaker 1: and this was like in the mid two thousand and
Speaker 1: two thousand and five, I don't know what we call
Speaker 1: the first parts of the two thousands. We still haven't
Speaker 1: come up with. No oughts are Oh is that the oughts?
Speaker 1: What are the tens? The tens is what it bothers me.
Speaker 1: We'll have a word for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. We don't. The nineteen tens is
Speaker 3: the tens, so you barely even we never.
Speaker 2: Even Why can't we say the twenty tens?
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that especially sounds actually pretty good. I
Speaker 1: guess we do have a word for it. Annie's just
Speaker 1: like or we call it the thing that we call it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was the aughts when like postpartum was
Speaker 1: not on the tip of people's tongue. And she went
Speaker 1: on Oprah and bravely talked about this and then wrote
Speaker 1: a book about it. And I just thought that was
Speaker 1: so cool, because yeah, it's it's weird what people get
Speaker 1: shamed for. There was, you know, Shinead O'Connor with her passing.
Speaker 1: This week, I saw on Reddit there was this post
Speaker 1: like everyone in Reddit that is posting and celebrity things,
Speaker 1: including my own fan page. Some of it's positive, but
Speaker 1: most of it's negative. Like there's this whole thing where
Speaker 1: like if you if you're on Reddit and you join
Speaker 1: a celebrities thing to like write nice things about them,
Speaker 1: unless it's Taylor Swift, you're writing horrible things that people
Speaker 1: just hate the things that they're fans of. It's such
Speaker 1: a weird thing that happens. But in this celebrity one
Speaker 1: that I follow, I think it's called pop culture beat
Speaker 1: or something. I forget what it's called. But there was
Speaker 1: a post of Miley Cyrus and they're always trying to
Speaker 1: call it problematic women, and he's problematic These women are
Speaker 1: all so self fucking righteous. They all have husbands that
Speaker 1: cheat on all They've all cheated on their husbands. They
Speaker 1: call out any woman who does it. They villainize every
Speaker 1: single fucking woman. They hate everything. They love to hate
Speaker 1: people and find a problematic thing they did once and
Speaker 1: they're just the worst people. I don't even follow it.
Speaker 1: They just pop up. But this one popped up of like, guys,
Speaker 1: is no one gonna talk about Miley Cyrus what she
Speaker 1: posted in twenty thirteen, and it is crazy what she
Speaker 1: posted in twenty thirteen, two ten years ago, right, but
Speaker 1: she took a bunch of Tornado O'Connors tweets that were like,
Speaker 1: I need help. I'm having a psychiatric breakdown Ireland to
Speaker 1: can't I can't get medicine. Please someone help. Here's my
Speaker 1: email if you have meds I need. It's just like,
Speaker 1: was her pleading for help because she was having psychosis
Speaker 1: or a bipolar episode, and Miley Cyrus screenshotted that and wrote, uh,
Speaker 1: something like we've got another Amanda Bines on our hand,
Speaker 1: like clearly mocking her mental illness. And so everyone's like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe Miley got away with this and that
Speaker 1: this is still up and why would she ever say that.
Speaker 1: We don't realize that ten years ago that she didn't
Speaker 1: get canceled for that, that wasn't even no one cared.
Speaker 1: It was okay ten years ago or not at least
Speaker 1: not remarkable to mock someone's mental illness, especially Amanda Bines.
Speaker 1: I remember we were doing it on my MTV show
Speaker 1: when she was having that breakdown. I remember there was
Speaker 1: a little bit of sensitivity of like this mate, we
Speaker 1: pulled back a little bit. Well, we were making jokes
Speaker 1: on my MTV show. She was walking through the streets,
Speaker 1: was you know, shoeless, tattooing her face, she lost her mind,
Speaker 1: she was saving her She checked her just she just
Speaker 1: checked herself. And again, I mean, this is an ongoing
Speaker 1: battle these people have, like a what bipolar is, if
Speaker 1: it's not treated, is a terminal illness, like it's gonna
Speaker 1: end and like you know, a bad thing. So it's
Speaker 1: like and it's so hard to treat because they have
Speaker 1: to take their meds and if they don't, but then
Speaker 1: once they're psychotic, they don't want to take them. It's
Speaker 1: just so hard and difficult. But we didn't have that
Speaker 1: sensitivity that long ago, but then someone contextualizes the one
Speaker 1: person Thank God came to Miley's rescue because it just
Speaker 1: seemed like Miley was just like cruel piece of shit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but Sinad O'Connor had just like a couple days before,
Speaker 1: written an open letter to Miley saying, after her wrecking
Speaker 1: Ball video came out of like, you don't need to
Speaker 1: sexualize yourself like this. You are being a sex slave
Speaker 1: to these men. I mean, it was kind of a
Speaker 1: crazy and I'm using that term in an in polite way,
Speaker 1: but it was just someone who is unwell trying to
Speaker 1: protect another woman who's been you know, she pimped out.
Speaker 1: She says, you're pimping yourself out, You're pimp being pimped out.
Speaker 1: And so Miley was just like, fuck you bitch, and
Speaker 1: she was she was retaliating to that. And Molly was
Speaker 1: a child at the time, of course, but it is
Speaker 1: just so interesting to me that that that string of tweets,
Speaker 1: she still has them up, you know, like it wasn't
Speaker 1: on anyone's radar to go, Miley, this isn't nice mocking
Speaker 1: someone's mental illness. She had a huge PR team at
Speaker 1: the time, and no one clocked it. Imagine what we're
Speaker 1: doing now.
Speaker 5: Then though it was accepted because we had like those
Speaker 5: gossip blogs like Perez Hilton and what was Tyler Dirton do,
Speaker 5: like all those like gossipy things that love to make
Speaker 5: fun of celebrities in that way.
Speaker 1: I mean Britney Spears. We were in Paris. That was
Speaker 1: Nicole Richie Oh was shaving her head and like looking
Speaker 1: like through the window at someone filming her doing it.
Speaker 1: Her beating up that car with an umbrella. We were
Speaker 1: all front seat for it, and it was so bad.
Speaker 1: And now we're a little bit more sensitive to it.
Speaker 1: But I'm reading Shenead O'Connor's autobiography right now. If she
Speaker 1: was didn't have a mental illness, it would be shocking
Speaker 1: with what she went through in her childhood. It is
Speaker 1: like I cry about like my parents, like sometimes when
Speaker 1: I would cry, they would be like, stop crying. Her
Speaker 1: mom used to have her I mean trigger warning for
Speaker 1: horrible child abuse, used to beat her with a broomstick
Speaker 1: on her private parts and make her splay out openly
Speaker 1: naked on the kitchen floor when she was like four
Speaker 1: five six, like, and beat her in her privates till
Speaker 1: they were black, and and she would have to go
Speaker 1: to school the next day and she had to lie
Speaker 1: and her she had a really kind teacher who would
Speaker 1: be like, did your mom do this? And she would
Speaker 1: just go no, and her teacher, she said, her teacher
Speaker 1: would just look at her like she knew, but she
Speaker 1: couldn't do anything. And I mean, she suffered grave abuse.
Speaker 1: Like if this person wasn't unhinged, it would be it
Speaker 1: would be impossible. And it was just it's so heartbreaking. Anya.
Speaker 1: I know you were a big shnad O Connor fan.
Speaker 1: Did you know about how horribly she was abused as a child.
Speaker 2: I don't think I did.
Speaker 4: I think I might have read that or heard that
Speaker 4: years ago, but I have not read her autobiography.
Speaker 2: Oh, because it's very good at Belle. I was like,
Speaker 2: I think I knew that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, like the way kids are abused. I
Speaker 1: just I mean, it's just it's the you just are
Speaker 1: happy reading it from I mean, obviously I'm reading the
Speaker 1: point where this person is likely taking their own life.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's been confirmed or anything, but it
Speaker 1: made me feel like, Okay, at least she's out of that.
Speaker 1: She's like an adult now and survived it. But like
Speaker 1: you just it's just.
Speaker 4: The and it's so heartbreaking that she was like a
Speaker 4: laughing stock, and she was right the whole time after.
Speaker 2: She tore up the picture of the pope, like that
Speaker 2: was the.
Speaker 4: Bravest thing to do, and everyone for years she was
Speaker 4: just like the butt of jokes and.
Speaker 1: And she lost the whole doing that. Yeah, she lost everything,
Speaker 1: and she said she doesn't regret it, which is really cool.
Speaker 1: But she tore that. No one even knew why she
Speaker 1: tore up the picture of the pope. People were like,
Speaker 1: what is she doing? Why should not like the pope?
Speaker 1: She hates she hates the church, in which you cannot
Speaker 1: hate the Catholic Church. But she was protesting the crimes
Speaker 1: against children in the Catholic Church that she how was
Speaker 1: she ready to that?
Speaker 4: Never uh disavowed those priests and never disavowed the what
Speaker 4: was happening?
Speaker 1: But did we know it was happening in nineteen ninety two?
Speaker 1: Clearly there was something in the news. But based on
Speaker 1: the movie Spotlight, sure it seems like that all broke
Speaker 1: in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 3: I'm sure it was covered up more than it was
Speaker 3: in the two thousand and the two thousands.
Speaker 1: But it must have still been out there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she knew about an issue that just got swept
Speaker 4: under the rug.
Speaker 2: But yes, I think it was an issue.
Speaker 3: I mean coast to coast am alien folks. You know,
Speaker 3: we were talking about the Pope being an alien and
Speaker 3: child sex trafficking of the Pope way back in the nineties.
Speaker 3: For sure, there was a fringe belief that he's an answer.
Speaker 3: The Pope is a you know, the Pope is controlled
Speaker 3: by Satan or reptilians.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in aliens?
Speaker 3: Aliens? Oh, of course, but not the ones that AOC
Speaker 3: is interrogating that navy guy for this weekend. What there
Speaker 3: was a congressional hearing about UFOs.
Speaker 1: Oh right, we're right.
Speaker 3: Those are probably not aliens. But of course, the vastness
Speaker 3: of the universe, there has to be there must be
Speaker 3: intelligent life out there. They just can't read or.
Speaker 2: Maybe they have.
Speaker 1: Believe Yeah, I don't believe.
Speaker 3: I don't believe they reached us. I don't believe they
Speaker 3: either have the technology to reach us, or if they
Speaker 3: tried to reach us, we wouldn't understand how to analyze that.
Speaker 1: Communicating the dark forest theory, No.
Speaker 3: No, I don't know anything called the dark forest theory.
Speaker 1: Okay, I thought you would. You would. You probably not
Speaker 1: know what it is, but well you know about it. Like,
Speaker 1: we should stop looking.
Speaker 3: For them, oh, because once they find us, the.
Speaker 1: Will they'll kill us immediately. It will be a split
Speaker 1: second of like, it'll just be like if they saw
Speaker 1: a gnat, Like if you see a gnat and you're
Speaker 1: just like ah, the second they notice us, like us
Speaker 1: with a gnat in our room, they'll just go stop
Speaker 1: just because they they won't even think of, like, let's
Speaker 1: explore this and see what we can learn from them.
Speaker 1: They'll just be like ew, if.
Speaker 3: They have the technology to reach us, there is nothing
Speaker 3: that we can do to stop them.
Speaker 1: Yes, because we don't have the technology to reach out.
Speaker 4: They've been trying to reach us forever.
Speaker 2: We are just too dense to get it. That's my theory.
Speaker 1: But if they could reach us, that means they have
Speaker 1: technology that is so beyond our understanding of anything that
Speaker 1: they would have the ability to destroy us immediately, as
Speaker 1: would it would be to destroy us.
Speaker 2: They're kind, they're not fucked up like us.
Speaker 3: I doubt it. In order to have in order to
Speaker 3: have the amount of natural resources to control a machine
Speaker 3: that could take you to you have to be harvesting
Speaker 3: multiple solar systems worth of natural resources.
Speaker 4: And I cannot be so evolved that they are like
Speaker 4: beyond our fucked upness. We're just destroying ourselves like a
Speaker 4: bunch of idiots, like fucking with the earth, and like.
Speaker 1: This is what happens when you seek power and seek
Speaker 1: to expand your power, you need evil. And so they
Speaker 1: would probably be evil if they reached the point I
Speaker 1: think would be the argument. But final thoughts speaking.
Speaker 3: Of evil.
Speaker 1: Because you asked them of expanding evil and needing more
Speaker 1: and more. So this billionaire, I'm like, he tells me
Speaker 1: about the founding of it, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: I go, so you I go, can I just cut
Speaker 1: to the chase. I was like, you are one of
Speaker 1: the wealthiest people that has ever walked the planet and
Speaker 1: will ever walk the planet. Probably because he also told
Speaker 1: me that for every fifteen hundred dollars that is spent
Speaker 1: in the world globally, one of those dollars is going
Speaker 1: to Airbnb. Oh my god, wow it and it's I
Speaker 1: did not understand how because he was speaking in like
Speaker 1: a way I don't understand about business. But for some reason,
Speaker 1: Airbnb is not something like you know, Amazon can be
Speaker 1: reproduced by other places because it's there's some reason that
Speaker 1: Airbnb is is propriet proprietary in the sense that other
Speaker 1: other nations have to use Airbnb because they don't want
Speaker 1: to for some reason. China can have their own Amazon,
Speaker 1: and you know, Dubai can have their own Amazon. But
Speaker 1: like Airbnb, it's this, it's the biggest American company that
Speaker 1: is globally and is not it is you can't recreate it.
Speaker 1: That's every reason, right, And he said that was by
Speaker 1: mistake he did. He was like, we're just lucky that
Speaker 1: it's that way. So then for every that means for
Speaker 1: every dollar fifty spent or like you know, fifteen dollars spent,
Speaker 1: one cent is going to air BB which is another
Speaker 1: way of saying that in math, one hundred and thirty
Speaker 1: two hours of suits. Okay, so then I feel like you're.
Speaker 2: Just bragging you about your math abilities. Now I didn't
Speaker 2: know that.
Speaker 3: How much is there for every one hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1: Million dollars one hundred and fifty million, how.
Speaker 3: Many fifteen million dollars?
Speaker 1: Wait, fifteen million dollars, Yeah, so that's fifty It would
Speaker 1: be old. Don't do this to me. I'm really panicking
Speaker 1: and I need to write it one million, fifteen million, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it would be ten thousand. I have no idea of
Speaker 1: someone knows that someone's sailing at their phone right now.
Speaker 1: So then I said, I go, what's the point of
Speaker 1: anything anymore? Like what do you get up in the
Speaker 1: morning for? If you can have any I go, you
Speaker 1: can have anything you want. You could buy anything you
Speaker 1: want any nation. You you you have as much money
Speaker 1: he's worth. I looked it up. What eleven point eight
Speaker 1: billion dollars?
Speaker 3: Wow? What they're you?
Speaker 1: Myself? He himself, he's the he's he's the biggest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they don't have as much money as him. I
Speaker 1: looke up their names too. Okay, he is the most.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but I said, what do you
Speaker 1: What keeps you going? And he's like, because I just
Speaker 1: like innovating and I like creating new ideas. Like it
Speaker 1: was you know, he had a good answer for it.
Speaker 1: He was like, you know, it's like I like building
Speaker 1: and he's really I've been on his Instagram now and
Speaker 1: he's very proactive about like building community and connecting people.
Speaker 1: And he has you know, he's friends with Obama and
Speaker 1: and I think Obama is a good guy, like they're
Speaker 1: working towards good things, it seems. And then I said, well,
Speaker 1: what about This is where I think I derailed it.
Speaker 1: I was like, what about the like saying that there's
Speaker 1: no accidental billionaires? Which what do you think that means?
Speaker 1: When someone says.
Speaker 3: That, that means that they had to do so something
Speaker 3: cruel and unusual in order to garner that much or
Speaker 3: at least or at least exploit their workers.
Speaker 1: Thank you, that is what that means. But everyone in
Speaker 1: the room, including Jeff, Jeff's friend and no Jess trying,
Speaker 1: actually had my back, but he wouldn't. He was just
Speaker 1: like looking at me, like I have your back. But
Speaker 1: I go, you know how they say there's no accidental billionaires?
Speaker 1: And he's like and everyone's like, yeah, yeah, you gotta try,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't think that's He goes, I go,
Speaker 1: do you do?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 1: You seem like a nice guy, like are you evil?
Speaker 1: Are you evil? And they all go why would you
Speaker 1: ask that? And I go, but that's what that phrase means.
Speaker 1: There's no accidental billionaires. You had to exploit, you know,
Speaker 1: low paid workers to get to where you are, you
Speaker 1: had to like employ slave labor, essentially. I read that
Speaker 1: quote first with Rihanna about like she is making money
Speaker 1: off the backs of people's working in sweatshops, like you
Speaker 1: don't become an accedental billionaire without exploitation. But they all
Speaker 1: act baffled by it, like that's not what it means.
Speaker 1: It just means you gotta try. And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think someone finds a bill billion dollars on
Speaker 1: the sidewalk like whoopsie, oh, I'm an accidental billion andre.
Speaker 1: Of course it takes effort. That is implied. What I
Speaker 1: mean is are you evil? And then it just got
Speaker 1: kind of weird in the room and I changed subjects
Speaker 1: as quickly explain it. I didn't want to have to
Speaker 1: explain it, but they made me explain, Like what I
Speaker 1: was saying was like are you evil? But I had
Speaker 1: to say that to him, like.
Speaker 3: Well, why do you recover from this? To make friends?
Speaker 1: I think I think I just said, like I don't
Speaker 1: think that you are, and I have a billionaire friend
Speaker 1: who I don't think is evil, but I'm I'm wondering
Speaker 1: where that's happening in your company, Like how did you
Speaker 1: get that who is losing out like, and we didn't
Speaker 1: get into it. I just steered it away to like, wow,
Speaker 1: it sounds like this relates a lot to comedy and.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: But then we walked out together and he said to me,
Speaker 1: he was like, thanks for asking so many questions. I
Speaker 1: was like, thanks for answering them. He was like, people
Speaker 1: don't usually ask that much. And then later on I thought, scared, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I.
Speaker 2: So glad you asked. Yeah, this is why maybe that's
Speaker 2: not dating and billionaire.
Speaker 1: I think anything, I think he is true. I think
Speaker 1: if anything, ad buys me something. Because I was not intimidated,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't like he was just he was an
Speaker 1: I was like, it's so cool to meet you. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is I'm never going to meet someone richer than him.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I looked at the list. He's very
Speaker 1: low on the Let me just say he's like in
Speaker 1: the in the hundreds or maybe even higher than that.
Speaker 1: I know, because there's people with like three hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty six billion dollars, So he's with his eleven point
Speaker 1: measley eleven point eight. I mean, but he's on the
Speaker 1: Forbes list of richest people. I had to scroll a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, like I was putting in my birth date
Speaker 1: in a thing, so I had to go to the
Speaker 1: bottom to find him. But on the way out, he
Speaker 1: was just like, thanks for asking, and he was like
Speaker 1: and then he said this. He was like, I could
Speaker 1: never do what you do. And I go, well, I
Speaker 1: clearly never do what you do. And I was like,
Speaker 1: but it is. He was like, and I'm a public speaker,
Speaker 1: and but like make writing jokes and making jokes. I
Speaker 1: have no concept of that. And I was like, it's
Speaker 1: cool that I do the only thing you can get
Speaker 1: and the only thing you can't pay to learn. Like
Speaker 1: there's yeah, I hold something that you can never You
Speaker 1: can literally have anything that you want. I mean, you
Speaker 1: could have a I write movie scripts for you, but
Speaker 1: they still can't really do comedy.
Speaker 3: They can't write movie scripts either. Really, can I ask
Speaker 3: you this? So why was he there? He friends?
Speaker 1: He was friends with a friend of Jeff Ross. Jeff
Speaker 1: Ross always has the most interesting celebrity like interesting, cool
Speaker 1: tastemaker friends that are like hanging around. And then so
Speaker 1: I ran into Jeff Ross later on, like at my
Speaker 1: next set at the Improv and Avery, his friend walked
Speaker 1: in and was like, that was awesome, and I was like,
Speaker 1: wasn't that the fucking coolest? We got to talk to
Speaker 1: a multi billionaire? And he was like, and you really
Speaker 1: didn't hold back. He was like when you asked him
Speaker 1: what's the point of life? I mean that was palsy
Speaker 1: and I was like, but what is it? And then
Speaker 1: Jeff came in and was like you. He was like,
Speaker 1: you fucking Charlie Rose. That was amazing, and he was
Speaker 1: like quite the interviewer and I'm I was like, you
Speaker 1: gotta take advantage of that. He was like, no, it
Speaker 1: was a great conversation. And I just liked that they
Speaker 1: gave me credit for that. And I felt a little
Speaker 1: bit like almost the way that I felt when that
Speaker 1: we were talking about before. I forget what I sa
Speaker 1: oh when I said that I'm in my latest thirty
Speaker 1: and everyone laughed, and I'm like, why is that funny?
Speaker 1: It's nice when you get feedback about a character trait
Speaker 1: that you didn't even know you had that brought some
Speaker 1: people some joy because I would have done that in
Speaker 1: a bubble. I wasn't doing it for any other reason.
Speaker 1: I wasn't like I'm just gonna be different and maybe
Speaker 1: he's gonna like me more yourself. You're unfiltered, but he
Speaker 1: was nice.
Speaker 4: The cool thing about you is you're unfiltered, but you
Speaker 4: never seem to get in I'm probably wrong, but you
Speaker 4: don't seem to get in trouble for your unfilteredness.
Speaker 1: Well, because I think if as long as it comes
Speaker 1: from a place of not trying to hurt people, I
Speaker 1: can kind of if I do offend, I can back
Speaker 1: out of it.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I'm always.
Speaker 4: Asking things and then five point five seconds later, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: you shouldn't have asked that, because that's hurtful. Like I
Speaker 4: don't realize it's hurtful till later, like a second later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then I'm sorry that was rude and I
Speaker 1: wasn't thinking. But I am curious. But most of the
Speaker 1: time people do want to talk about why they lost
Speaker 1: an arm, or why they're in a wheels or the
Speaker 1: obvious thing that everyone is avoiding. Oftentimes if you ask
Speaker 1: it in a kouth way, I mean, don't say that
Speaker 1: with a personal ways to have what are you living for?
Speaker 4: But we really wanted to know, like what is if
Speaker 4: you're in your shoes, what gets you up in the morning?
Speaker 4: Like if I was a billionaire and.
Speaker 1: I was you, I'd have trouble getting up in the
Speaker 1: morning now, And like having a reason to take on
Speaker 1: more work when it's like I don't really need anything else.
Speaker 1: As long as I can afford to get Starbucks three
Speaker 1: times a day and Postmates every night of the week,
Speaker 1: I don't really and maybe send my nephew to college.
Speaker 1: My nieces doesn't look like she's gonna go, But like,
Speaker 1: as long as I'm able to get that stuff done,
Speaker 1: what else is there to life? And so maybe I
Speaker 1: was kind of seeking it in that way. But the
Speaker 1: point of life is making podcasts with your friends, and
Speaker 1: that's fun and that's why I do this, not for
Speaker 1: the money. And so I think that's what he does
Speaker 1: it for, Like he enjoys what he does, which is refreshing,
Speaker 1: and that's how I connected to comedy, and that's how
Speaker 1: I'm gonna marry a billionaire. Okay, guys, thank you for
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. We will be back next week,
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, don't be good and just ask the
Speaker 1: questions you want to