WEBVTT - No. 37: SEASON THREE PREMIERE + Gratitude Challenge Reflection + Hello 2022. 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:25.320 Tell me I can't see Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.880 to hand me my purse the podcast. I am Mimi Walker, 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:31.920 and I will be your forever host, each and every 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.480 single time you tune into this podcast. So go ahead 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:39.040 and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, 0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:44.080 whether that's alkaline water, red kool aid, a high cup 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:49.080 of tea with honey, a glass of Cabernet, Sauvignon or Hennessy, 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:52.600 and light yourself a candle, some incense, or burn some 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:55.880 sage and just get ready to chill out and have 0:00:56.000 --> 0:01:10.160 a good time. What's up, what's up? What's up? Friends 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:15.559 and kin? Happy New Year, Happy two twenty two. Boom 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:24.200 ma'am oh bow. The new year is well underway. By 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.520 the time you hear this, if you listen to it 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.880 on the day that it is released, or at least 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:32.240 the week that it's released, we are well into the 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:35.560 new year. We're halfway through the first month of the 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:37.839 new year, which is kind of crazy to say, because 0:01:37.840 --> 0:01:41.560 it seemed like New Year's Eve was just yesterday, but 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:46.039 it wasn't. Happy New Year, my friends and kin, we're here. 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.880 It's twenty twenty two. Let's thank God or the universe 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:51.640 or the head of cabbage or the eucalyptus leaf, whatever 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:56.560 it is you give praise to. Let's give thanks for 0:01:56.800 --> 0:02:01.880 seeing another year. Twenty twenty only twenty one. They were 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:05.040 interesting years, and now we're on to twenty twenty two. 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:07.120 And all we can do is keep it moving, right, 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:10.320 don't need to dwell in the past, and you know, 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.720 sit and sulk. Let's just keep it moving because life 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:17.840 is always happening. So it's none other than your resident 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.320 Anti Supreme here and hand me my purse, Mimi Walker. 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:24.960 And today I am sipping on a new canned cocktail 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:28.359 that I found, and it is a poloma by a 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:34.880 brand called Kazadores. And a poloma look it up. I'm 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.120 not telling you what a poloma is. Just look it up. 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:44.760 But it's grapefruit, its tequila, it's seltzer. It's delicious, and 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:50.480 it's really good. And it was almost impossible for me 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.919 to find the damn nutrition facts on this cocktail. But 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:56.320 if I'm not mistaken, I think it's about one hundred 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.239 and eighty calories. And for the kid, that's a bit 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.519 too much for canned cocktail for me, so needless to say. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:06.160 As much as I enjoyed this one, it's a note 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.840 for me, dog I prefer personally to keep my canned 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:12.919 cocktails at about one hundred and twenty five calories or less. However, 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.440 let me tell you, if you are not focused on 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:19.720 caloric tracking, try it. Even if you are focused on 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:22.560 caloric tracking, try it anyway. It's okay to try it. 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:26.040 Give yourself some grace. Moderation is the key. It is 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:30.359 really really really good though, And just to be very clear, 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.240 the shit is delicious, like I said, but usually the 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.440 more calories that usually means the more deliciousness that you're 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:40.080 going to have. It's really really good. It's a little sweet, 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:42.960 which I should have known that. You know, when I 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:46.560 drink can cocktails, I'm not expecting a whole lot of sweetness, 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:49.040 and it is a little sweet. But it's really really 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:54.600 really good, So try it out. Casadores Paloma they also make, 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:59.240 if I'm not mistaken, a classic margharita and a Rustic 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:03.840 spicy Margharita. I know that the Rustic Spicy margharita is 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:05.760 one hundred and seventy five calories, so I think that 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.200 I'm done. You know, I'm I'm gonna go ahead back 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:12.760 to my truly or my deep Eddie canned cocktails, because 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.800 they're like one hundred calories a piece or one twenty five. 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:18.920 But this jump was real good. So if you ain't 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:23.360 worried about calories, trust me, try it. Now. Let's go 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:31.920 ahead and get this party started. So friends and ken 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:38.120 for today's jam. Initially, I had another song selected and 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.359 I'm going to give it honorable mention and I'll probably 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.679 even link it in the show notes because I listened 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.479 to this song about thirty times the other night and 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.680 it just made me think about high school. As most 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:50.880 of you know from listening to the show. I went 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.560 to high school in California and I have a very 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:57.479 you know, eclectic taste in music. And there was a 0:04:57.560 --> 0:05:03.600 song that of my classmates hipped me to. It was 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.799 a song called come On Eileen, and it's the original 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.760 version like it's old, it's old, and if I'm not mistaken, 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:12.880 it's an old SKA song. If you don't know what 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.919 sky is, look it up Ska. And there was a 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:19.960 band in the band's name was Save Ferris like Ferris Bueller, 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:26.000 Ferris Wheel. And I love the version by say Ferris 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:28.560 like I love it. I love to sing it one day. 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:32.880 Maybe I'll sing it in a karaoke jammy jam like 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.839 a Karrie at a karaoke bar or something. But I 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:37.880 really liked the song a lot, and so that was 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:41.600 gonna be the song. But I am a fan of 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:44.880 this artist. Her name is Amber Mark, and she has 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:47.040 a lot of songs that I like. I love her 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:50.560 voice is very infectious. I am actually a fan of 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:54.320 someone who has a voice that is easily identifiable, like 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.480 a voice that doesn't sound like someone else's, and her 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.920 voice is like that to me. And she has a 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:01.919 song that was released. I don't know if it's old 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.120 or it's new, but the title of the song is 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:08.200 worth It, and that is the gym for this episode. 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.440 The reason that I decided to choose this song versus 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.360 the safe fair song is because when I heard it, 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:18.839 I am a creative Okay, So when things are animal libra, 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:22.240 So when things look, when I see beauty, when I 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:27.000 hear beauty, when I taste something that is pleasingto my senses, 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:31.039 or I touch something that feels really soft or really abrasive, 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.359 you know, I'm really tuned into my senses. Like it 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:37.839 kind of like takes over me. And when I heard 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.280 this song, I ended up listening to this song on 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:43.200 repeat about fifteen to twenty times as well. When I 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:46.400 heard it and I started to listen to the lyrics, 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:49.920 and I said, what a great song to start the 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:55.919 new year off in terms of on my show, What 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:59.080 a great energy, what a great message to put out 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:03.640 for the first episode of twenty twenty two. And so 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:07.200 the jam, like I said, is by Ambermark. It is 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:11.760 called worth It and let me share the lyrics with you, 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:14.840 or just a little smidge of the lyrics, of course, 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:16.800 and the show notes you will find a link to 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:20.000 the song so that you can listen to it yourself. 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:21.600 And I'm also going to put a link to the 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.840 safe Ferris Come on Eileen song as well, because you 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:29.320 deserve to listen to that too. Easier said than done 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.480 trying to be the one. It's so hard to not 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:36.680 be hard on yourself. How do they all believe? I 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:41.240 can't even see the belief that I had way back then. 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:45.480 I know that you get so used to it, always 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:49.560 living in regret. Your dreams never left your head. But 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:52.120 when you talk to me, I can see the light 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:57.280 shining so bright that it is blinding. Just let it out. Oh, 0:07:57.320 --> 0:08:02.320 I know you feel it, that automatic shift in your spine, darkness. 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.560 You have seen it heavy on the heart. Look to 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:10.160 the light or release the feeling. It'll send you out 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:16.679 to space. Nothing like your happiness. Oh, open up the ceiling. 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:20.000 You think you don't deserve it, but you are so 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:23.440 damn worth it. Baby, you think you don't deserve it, 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:28.120 but you are so damn worth it. You think you 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:33.520 don't deserve it, but you are so worth it. We've 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:37.360 all got that feeling. I can see you hurting. You 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.480 don't think you deserve it, but baby, you are worth it. 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:44.480 Just open up the ceiling. Come on, let the love in, 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.760 because baby, you are worth it. Now let's get into 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:56.959 the show, friends, and can before we get into this 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:01.680 discussion with the amazing young ladies that I talked to today, 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:04.640 I just want to say happy New Year. I'm grateful 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:07.120 for you guys, and I hope and pray that your 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:11.600 year has started off on the good foot. And if 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:15.559 by chance it did not, just remember that your thoughts 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.640 and your words are much more powerful than you could 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:23.360 ever imagine. So think positive thoughts even in times of despair, 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:27.360 even when things look real shitty, think positively, find a 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.840 way to turn the narrative around, and all that requires 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.559 is just to shift the way that you think. Let 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:36.280 twenty twenty two be an amazing year for us all. 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:39.440 I can't wait to see what twenty twenty two brings. 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.760 I love you all, and let's go ahead and get 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:45.920 into this conversation about the Gratitude challenge that we did 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:49.360 in November and December, friends and Ken. I am here 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:55.360 today with you guys to share with you some of 0:09:55.400 --> 0:10:00.360 my friends and Ken that actually participated in the Atitude 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:03.840 challenge that we had last year. It sounds weird saying 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:07.040 last year because it's only not even two weeks into 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:09.840 the new year. But the Gratitude Challenge that we did 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:14.520 from November eleventh, which was eleven eleven until twelve to 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.160 twenty five, which was forty four days, that's a long 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:20.280 time to be grateful. But we really should be grateful 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:24.120 every day. And so some of these ladies I know. 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:27.360 Some of them I know because they listen to the show. 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.120 Some of them I know because I know them in person. 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:33.360 And one is like a total nubie. I don't know 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:35.160 her at all, but I know her now and I'm 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:39.520 excited about it. It's going to be not a big 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:42.760 conversation because usually when I have group conversations, just like 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:47.719 twenty five people on but today it's just five of us, 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:51.160 and I like that because it offers the opportunity for 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:54.199 us to have a much more intimate conversation and a 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:58.080 much more authentic conversation. So I want you, ladies to 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:01.920 go around and introduce yourselves. I want you to however 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:03.800 you see fit to introduce yourself. I'm not going to 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.200 put those parameters on you and tell you I want 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:09.520 your name, your age, and your favorite ice cream. Nope. 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:13.120 Just however you choose to introduce yourself, go for it. 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.280 But I would like for you to tell me what 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.160 you are drinking, and I will share what I'm drinking. 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.960 Or does anyone else want to start? I can start? Okay, 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:23.600 go for it. I knew it was gonna be you. 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:30.719 So my name is Essence Nelson and okay, what's the 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.880 government name? Says? Well, you know, I'm not sure of 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.440 what my name really is. But that is not today's topic. 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:39.880 We'll go into that. Um. All right, when women marry 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:44.160 and their whole identity changes, all right, that's another topic. Well, 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:48.040 clearly you just made it one. It's a topic. Um 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.360 so yeah, so that is who I am. And tonight 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.520 I am drinking my favorite wine. It's a Saint Michael's 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:58.320 golly Wobbler. My favorite vine is run that back chief 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:02.400 Saint Michael's golly wa blur, Yes, what does that mean? Like? 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.240 What kind of wine is it? For us? Who don't? 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.760 Who wants to go next? Um? I'll go. My name 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:12.079 is Angel, I'm an Ubi. Hi Angel, welcome, Thank you. 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:16.160 I actually I found out about your podcast through my 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:20.079 best friend Tess. Oh yes, best friend, God bless your child. 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:25.320 Conversation for another day. I'm her best friend, and she 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:29.199 told me about the Gratitude Challenge and I came in 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:31.679 it on the latter end of it, but I was 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:37.360 able to participate from December first through the twenty five awesome. Awesome, awesome. 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.800 So tell me what you're drinking, so don't be disappointed 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:43.240 in me. But I'm drinking water. That is not a disappointment. 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:46.280 That means that you care about your skin, your liver, 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:52.440 your kidneys, your blood. Well, you know, I am taking 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:56.720 a couple of days to take it easy. Now, normally 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.880 I would probably have a glass of wine or I 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:02.360 would probably have crown or some type of with dear bourbon, 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:06.800 i'd be drinking something. But I'm drinking and that is 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:11.160 good Tomorrow. It's totally okay. I don't judge over here, 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.240 like sometimes I don't. I don't drink alcohol every show either, 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:18.040 like I don't. I don't. Sometimes I drink water with lemon, 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:22.120 sometimes I drink jasmine green tea, and then sometimes I 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.400 drink shots of tequila. So it really just depends on 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:29.440 how I feel what kind of tequila. I'm not really picky, 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:31.719 Like I'm not one of those people who are like, 0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:34.680 I don't drink that because it doesn't go down smooth. 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.320 I don't really care. Alcohol is disgusting realistically, Like it's 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:42.400 not delicious until somebody, like somebody else who's on this show, 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:46.080 who I think should go last, until that person puts 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.920 their sparkles on it. Realistically, like pure alcohol is not 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:52.520 tasty if people don't drink it, it's perfectly fine, because 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.160 it's not that awesome to taste unless you add a 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.080 whole bunch of crap to it. The tequila that I 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:01.680 have in my kitchen now is from Costco, and I 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.000 say it with pride and I don't care who doesn't 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:07.760 like it. It actually is pretty smooth. It's not um, 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:11.240 it doesn't taste like grain alcohol, and it's pretty smooth. 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:14.679 I was actually surprised. Somebody brought it to me one 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.920 day in a very large bottle and I was like, 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:18.920 what am I supposed to do with this? And I said, 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:20.840 I'll just keep it here for when people come. But 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.280 it makes damn good margueritas, I'll tell you that much. 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.760 I didn't even know Costco sol tequila. I think it's Cosla. Yeah, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:32.720 Costco Costco has alcohol and it's pretty good. So that 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.840 is the kind of tequila that I am drinking now. 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:38.040 But typically I would have Querbo. I'm a fan of 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:42.280 Quervo silver. I need you to get into some Espolone blanco. Okay, 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:45.160 well you can introduce me to change it. I don't know, 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:50.000 but yeah, drink tequila often. Well you sound it sounds 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.800 like you're a dark girl. Like you like dark one. Yeah, 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:56.000 that's what being older is about. Knowing your body and 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:58.680 honoring your body even when you may not be making 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:02.560 the best choices for your body. And hard, Okay, it 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:06.400 is hard. Wow? Okay, all right, well then there's that 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:12.400 next go next. Okay, I'm Fatima and I'm drinking water. 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.400 I'm also drinking water. I actually don't drink alcohol, never 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.000 drank alcohol before in my life. God bless you you are. 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:24.000 You are a saint and someone that you're no wait 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.480 a minute now, say you were an angel I said 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:30.120 you were a saint for not drinking. That is amazing 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.640 and that is great. Yeah, it's a really, it's a 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:36.720 religious for religious purposes. So okay, I'm Muslim, so never 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:42.200 drank alcohol before. That's yes, it is. I'll be knowing. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.560 I'll be knowing. Yes. I only know what I know 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:49.160 because of Angelica. And that's how I found your podcast 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:52.840 actually randomly and alive and I just clicked it, and 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.200 you guys who were just having such a great time. 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:58.480 I was like, who is this lady? And then there 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:00.560 she said that you have a podcast, said she has 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:04.360 a podcast. I must listen, and I was ever since 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:07.640 and yeah, Angelica is my boom. Angelica and I have 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:10.440 been friends for a long long She's like my big sister. 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.960 She is my big sister. I love her to pieces. Angelica. 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:15.480 I talk about her all the time on the show. 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:20.920 Her name is the Village. The Village Auntie on Instagram. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.800 Please go find her and let her life be changed. 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.200 I am blessed to know her in real life. And 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.240 last but not least, I mean I'll go last, but 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:32.480 last but not least, the one and only, the returner, 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:41.040 the tenured professor. Here, stop on me my purse. I'm 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.200 Gina and I'm the concoctress behind in the bedroom bartender 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.240 and so what we can talk about more that later. 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.040 But I really just bring cocktails to life. I create 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:53.480 custom recipes, Breman's life and getting candle forms. You can 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:56.160 sort of bathe in the ambiance of the drink if 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.440 you don't want to drink. I also have back salt 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:00.560 and somebody scrupts. You still want to have the experience 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.920 of smelling or being resolved in a cocktail without actually drinking. 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:08.359 And tonight I am enjoying some muld wine. I did 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:13.680 a muld cherry wine with cinnamon, clove, little dehydrated orange, 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:17.480 and then I added like a spicy rum caramel simple 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:19.960 syrup to it to sweeten it, and then topped it 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.960 off with a shot aheadsea. So listen, my name is 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:28.840 Mimi and I'm a Libra and this is my show, 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:33.280 and I'm on zoom with these ladies. And I realized 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.600 that my bedroom is really because I'm in my bedroom 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:37.199 right now because I didn't want to take it to 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:39.520 the living room. And it's not really zoom friendly. But 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:44.880 it's okay. And I am drinking on whatever Gina just said. Okay, 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.360 I'm drinking on mulled wine. And it is a cherry wine. 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.320 Let's see if I was listening so cherry wine that 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.240 I heat it up. I don't have a microwave because 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.440 the aliens are trying to steal our souls through microwaves. 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:00.639 I don't have a microwave, so I heat it up 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:05.360 on the stove. Um, it's a cherry wine. And um, 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:07.080 all of the other things that she said. And if 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:09.960 you're curious about what it was, just rewind it and listen, 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:13.439 because all I remember was cherry wine, hennessy. But I 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:16.800 don't have hennessy, right, I have apple brandy. I have apple. 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:20.480 Is this a Crown Apple? No, it's apple Jack Layard. 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:23.480 I knew it was some fancy shit like it could 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.000 never be, like Hennessy is the most basic thing that 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:32.320 she drinks. I'm surprised because you're a black, that's why, 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:35.560 because and Black people love Hennessy. That's why, because you're 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:39.880 a black, change the stigma associated with quest. I have 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.960 apple brandy. I'm like, is it Crown Apple so I 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:46.159 can be real black? Clearly? No, it's by Jean de 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:51.160 la France of the Provence in the south of France. 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.800 The tip of nice. Like, I don't even know what 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:56.200 you just said, but it is good. I've never had 0:18:56.720 --> 0:18:59.160 I have, no, I have it. I don't know. Um 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:02.200 hot wine, it's very delicious. What is Can you tell 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.480 me more about this cherry wine? What is it? No? 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:09.720 You can't. Okay, she doesn't know. She can tell me 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:11.320 about it later because I would like to buy some 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:13.879 cherry wine in the market. Yeah. So it's just a 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:15.920 it's a more tart cherry wine. And so that's why 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:18.920 I added the delicious spicy caramel syrup to it, so 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:23.439 kind of sweeten. And I had a cinnamon stick, some 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:27.560 dehydrated oranges and clothes like y. Yeah, look, I see 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:29.359 I didn't know that. And you had some kind of 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:35.879 simple syrup stuff with little bits and pieces in it that. Yes, listen, 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:38.159 it's very good. Thank you. I have to say, guys, 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:42.520 get a friend that's a bartender that makes custom, fancy, 0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:45.560 luxurious cocktails. It has changed my life. In the time 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:47.840 that I've known her. She had me drinking Gin and 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:49.919 I think Gin is disgusting. I've said it on this 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:52.600 show before. I had a Gin cocktail that she made 0:19:52.600 --> 0:19:55.639 and it changed my life. So enough about drinks. Like 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:58.000 I said, I'm Meani and I'm here with my friends 0:19:58.000 --> 0:19:59.480 and Ken today and we're going to talk about the 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:03.560 gratitude challenge I decided, and you can refer back to 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:08.720 episode thirty five. I think it's entitled like Scottsdale Owes 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:11.879 Me Nothing or something like that, where I talk about 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:16.040 when I went to Scottsdale for this podcasting conference and 0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:19.000 I got to see my little brothers in California because 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:22.800 I went from Phoenix to LA for about fifteen hours, 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:24.960 and when I got back, I was just so full 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:27.679 of joying gratitude that I was like, I don't know 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:30.280 what to do with like this feeling, and so I 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:32.879 was like, I'm gonna do a gratitude challenge. Now. The 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:38.000 funny thing is that apparently November is like National Gratitude 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:41.560 Month or something. There's always a fucking month for everything, 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:46.000 like it's national toenail clipping months, and it's national don't 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:50.560 wear a broader work month. What it's gratitude months. Personally, 0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:53.320 it's kind of like Black History Month. Every month should 0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.480 be Gratitude month. Every month should be Black History month. 0:20:56.560 --> 0:20:58.840 Every month should be gratitude months. But it was a thing, 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:01.800 and I didn't know, but I said that I wanted 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:04.840 to have a challenge, and I wanted to do a 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:08.720 challenge for myself to like kind of track or to 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:12.639 document everything that I'm grateful for over a period of time. 0:21:13.000 --> 0:21:16.480 The number forty four just popped out of nowhere. Forty 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:19.159 four days. It started on eleven eleven, which to me, 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:20.919 if you've been listening to the show, you know, I 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:25.840 like a lot of like weird stuff. And for forty 0:21:25.880 --> 0:21:29.640 four days, from the November eleventh to December twenty fifth, 0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:33.520 the challenge was to do the challenge, excuse me, was 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:37.520 to document five to ten things that you were grateful for. 0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:40.080 I opened it up and I shared it with people, 0:21:40.200 --> 0:21:44.879 and even if people didn't finish the challenge, or only 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.920 did the challenge for two weeks, or you know, after 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:50.320 a week, they fell off. I really wanted to create 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:55.280 a universal energy. Not that my podcast is universal, but 0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:58.640 it is because it is listening to in many countries 0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:01.240 all across the globe. Don't ever get it twisted. I 0:22:01.280 --> 0:22:03.840 just wanted to create an energy where like people were 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:09.040 being intentional about gratitude, and so some people were like, oh, 0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:11.879 I'm gonna do it, and oh it's a good idea. 0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:15.159 And these ladies did it and we talked about it 0:22:15.520 --> 0:22:17.159 a little bit after and I was like, would you 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:19.720 mind being on the show, and they were like no. 0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:21.040 I knew I didn't want to have a lot of 0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:24.440 people on because sometimes that can be a bit overwhelming. 0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:26.879 It's literally like a party, like a house party. I 0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:29.760 knew I wanted it to be an intimate conversation just 0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:32.800 talking about like what was the experience, Like, I'll go first. 0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:36.640 One thing that I noticed well the very first day, 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:41.840 I found that I personally had a hard time thinking 0:22:41.880 --> 0:22:43.760 of five to ten things that I was grateful for. 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:46.399 And what that told me was like, you need to 0:22:46.440 --> 0:22:50.240 be a little more thoughtful about like being grateful, because 0:22:50.320 --> 0:22:53.159 it should not be difficult to think about five to 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:55.760 ten things that you're grateful for. It also told me 0:22:55.840 --> 0:22:58.639 that I was overthinking it because you can be thankful 0:22:58.680 --> 0:23:01.639 for being able to walk, you can be thankful for 0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:05.160 having running water, for having hot water, for having heat, 0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:11.000 for having a cell phone, you know. And so that 0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:14.200 was my experience the first day. And then within the week, 0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:18.640 I think I noticed that I was a lot more 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:24.520 cute in to other people complaining a lot and like 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:28.320 it made me irritable. Oh yeah, it made me really irritable. Now, 0:23:28.320 --> 0:23:29.720 I don't know if that had might have had a 0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:31.840 little something to do with, like my hormones, because my 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:36.719 hormones be all over the place. But I noticed, like 0:23:36.760 --> 0:23:40.679 how much people complained about things for, you know, no 0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:42.800 apparent reason, Like what are you complaining for when you 0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:46.240 can breathe, especially in the middle of a panorama where 0:23:46.400 --> 0:23:49.679 you know people are passing away and they can't be 0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:52.439 with their families and you know all these things are happening, 0:23:52.480 --> 0:23:56.879 You're complaining that Starbucks ran out of butter croissants, Like, 0:23:56.920 --> 0:24:00.800 are you kidding me right now? And so I noticed 0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:03.280 that I did for the most part, I did the 0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:06.120 whole forty four days. I think I might have skipped 0:24:06.320 --> 0:24:07.919 like one or two days where I just went to 0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:11.639 bed early in the next morning. I didn't remember. On 0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:13.800 some days where I did go to bed the next morning, 0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:18.080 I would do it before I left for work, but 0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:22.600 just the first couple of weeks, and then after the 0:24:23.200 --> 0:24:25.400 first week where I noticed that other people were complaining 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:27.879 a lot, I noticed when I complained a lot, and 0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:32.120 it was like, girl, get your life together. But I'm 0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:34.240 really glad that I did it, and I want to 0:24:34.240 --> 0:24:37.960 figure out a way to incorporate it into my everyday life. 0:24:38.440 --> 0:24:43.440 Not for a forty four day challenge, but just figure 0:24:43.440 --> 0:24:46.000 out a way to like incorporate it into my life 0:24:46.040 --> 0:24:47.920 a little bit more because I feel like I need 0:24:47.960 --> 0:24:51.000 to be more intentional about focusing on like gratitude because 0:24:51.040 --> 0:24:57.040 I'm highly blessed, right, very, very very Some people call 0:24:57.080 --> 0:24:59.720 it luck. I don't really think that luck is a 0:24:59.720 --> 0:25:02.480 thing because I think that that's not really how God works, 0:25:02.680 --> 0:25:05.480 and I believe in God, so I'm not gonna you know, 0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:07.240 I don't think that it's a luck thing at all. 0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:10.600 I think that God is very intentional. Though. I think 0:25:10.600 --> 0:25:13.000 that if God loves me enough to be intentional about 0:25:13.000 --> 0:25:15.800 me having such a wonderful life, then I need to 0:25:15.800 --> 0:25:19.119 be intentional about being appreciative of my wonderful life. So 0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:23.120 that is a little bit about it. In a nutshell 0:25:23.119 --> 0:25:26.399 of my experience, who else wants to tell me like 0:25:27.560 --> 0:25:30.560 how it was for them, so to be fully transparent. 0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:33.600 I actually dreaded the challenge. I was totally going to 0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:35.760 do it to support you. But all I heard when 0:25:35.800 --> 0:25:37.560 you were like gratitude challenge. We're gonna do this every 0:25:37.600 --> 0:25:39.400 day for forty four days and five to two im 0:25:40.480 --> 0:25:44.040 you share that things a day. Yeah, I was worried 0:25:44.040 --> 0:25:45.760 because I didn't want to mess up right. I didn't 0:25:45.800 --> 0:25:46.960 want to miss a day. I'm like, oh, I got 0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:48.840 to think of these things every day and what happens 0:25:48.840 --> 0:25:51.840 if I forget. It felt very cumbersome initially, because you 0:25:51.880 --> 0:25:53.359 know what, I got Mimi's back. I'm gonna do this. 0:25:53.400 --> 0:25:56.119 I'm gonna do it, and I kid you not. After 0:25:56.160 --> 0:25:58.439 the first day, I said, like, you know what, just 0:25:58.480 --> 0:26:00.959 write five things, and I started just like letting them 0:26:01.040 --> 0:26:03.080 fly and like not even like trying to be specific, 0:26:03.119 --> 0:26:05.480 and like five things came really quickly, to the point 0:26:05.520 --> 0:26:06.880 I was like, oh, let me stop at five because 0:26:06.880 --> 0:26:08.600 I want to say some things for tomorrow. I don't 0:26:08.640 --> 0:26:11.199 want to run out of things. And I found that 0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:14.080 I actually looked forward to it, and I would wake 0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:15.920 up in the morning and I would grab my gonna 0:26:15.960 --> 0:26:20.600 make me cry all. I told my fiance, like, oh wait, wait, 0:26:20.640 --> 0:26:22.240 I forgot to write in my journal. We do this report, 0:26:22.480 --> 0:26:24.320 and so I kept finding myself looking for it. And 0:26:24.320 --> 0:26:26.480 then initially there were a few days that I had missed. 0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:27.919 I think something happened in the family and I had 0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:30.160 to refocus and just like you know stuff, I'm a caregiver, 0:26:30.440 --> 0:26:31.920 and so I missed a few days back to bad 0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:34.040 before I realized is that I will shoot. And so 0:26:34.080 --> 0:26:35.600 I sat down and I filled in for each of 0:26:35.600 --> 0:26:36.959 those dates, like, well, I'm not going to miss those 0:26:37.040 --> 0:26:39.600 dates and so, and then I gave myself a little leeway. 0:26:39.640 --> 0:26:40.840 The further, I got in a challenge like if you 0:26:40.880 --> 0:26:42.520 miss a day, it's okay, just pick up on the 0:26:42.600 --> 0:26:44.399 day that you're in and keep going for it. And 0:26:44.480 --> 0:26:46.600 it became part of my life, like I started carrying 0:26:46.600 --> 0:26:49.320 my journal with me everywhere I went to make sure 0:26:49.359 --> 0:26:51.399 I didn't forget. And then you shared something about just 0:26:51.480 --> 0:26:54.080 looking back over the types of things you listed, and 0:26:54.119 --> 0:26:56.480 I found a lot of mine. It tells you about 0:26:56.480 --> 0:26:58.399 where my mindset is right now. We're about being grateful 0:26:58.440 --> 0:27:01.639 to be alive, essentially, grateful for my breath, grateful for 0:27:01.720 --> 0:27:04.919 my body, grateful for this, grateful for happy memories, and 0:27:05.000 --> 0:27:06.960 like you know, this holiday season was rough. There was 0:27:06.960 --> 0:27:10.280 a lot of grief for me, but just the things 0:27:10.280 --> 0:27:14.919 and people I celebrate, Like, there was very little materialistic gratitude. 0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:16.560 There were some things about like you know, happy to 0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:19.240 be a financially sound, happy to have access to this, 0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:21.600 or being able to invest or other things, but a 0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:23.879 lot of it was like literally like happy to be 0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:26.520 breathing today, glad for this person in my life and 0:27:26.520 --> 0:27:28.800 what they bring to my life. So I enjoyed it 0:27:28.840 --> 0:27:30.159 and I started to look forward to doing it every 0:27:30.240 --> 0:27:32.080 day and it didn't feel as heavy as I thought 0:27:32.080 --> 0:27:33.320 it would be. I think I just sort of made 0:27:33.320 --> 0:27:34.760 it bigger than it was going to be until I 0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:37.760 actually started doing that. I love that. That made me 0:27:37.800 --> 0:27:39.280 a little I mean, I don't know if it's this 0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:41.800 fucking mold wine you got me drinking over here, but 0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:46.920 I don't really see myself or this show as an 0:27:46.960 --> 0:27:51.320 agent of change or whatever. You know what I'm trying 0:27:51.320 --> 0:27:54.440 to say. I'm a little bit tipsy, But like that 0:27:54.480 --> 0:27:56.919 made me feel like, wait a minute, you might be 0:27:56.960 --> 0:28:00.960 doing something right, girl, because you definitely share you You 0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:03.200 definitely shared with me at the beginning, like, oh my god, 0:28:03.200 --> 0:28:06.520 I'm gonna have to do it. And when you yeah, 0:28:06.600 --> 0:28:09.760 and when you said that, all I heard was oh, Gina, 0:28:09.880 --> 0:28:12.680 come home, like you're perfect just the way you but 0:28:13.480 --> 0:28:17.320 in full transparency. What I heard was, um, like I 0:28:17.359 --> 0:28:22.520 heard some of your stuff right, And I was just like, 0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:24.760 I just hope she sticks with it. But what you 0:28:24.800 --> 0:28:27.560 just share with me, it sounds like something that you 0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:32.000 learned in doing this was um, extending grace to yourself, 0:28:33.000 --> 0:28:38.360 which is very hard. Yeah, yeah, it's okay, like a 0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:40.960 day writing five back to back days of gradual like 0:28:41.080 --> 0:28:42.560 but I did that, Like let me think of five 0:28:42.600 --> 0:28:44.360 things for each day and let me try to remember 0:28:44.400 --> 0:28:46.360 three days ago. What was I thinking? And the I 0:28:46.400 --> 0:28:49.560 was like, no, it's okay, pick up where you are 0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:53.080 and keep moving. Yep, whatever you have, start where you 0:28:53.080 --> 0:28:57.880 are and do your best. Thank you for sharing. Next, 0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:03.080 is it you fi to Mie? Or yeah I'll go this, Okay, 0:29:03.760 --> 0:29:06.800 Yeah I'll go there. Um for me, I really I 0:29:06.840 --> 0:29:08.680 was looking forward to it because I was at a 0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:12.520 point in my life, um, not too long ago. I 0:29:12.560 --> 0:29:15.160 was just like really down, like things were just not 0:29:15.240 --> 0:29:17.960 going the way that I wanted to go. Life didn't 0:29:17.960 --> 0:29:19.880 look like what I thought it was gonna look like, 0:29:20.040 --> 0:29:22.600 and I was just finding it very hard to accept that, 0:29:22.960 --> 0:29:27.200 and just I just did not like where life was 0:29:27.280 --> 0:29:30.000 for me based on what I what I thought it 0:29:30.040 --> 0:29:32.400 was gonna be, you know. So I was like, you 0:29:32.440 --> 0:29:34.840 know what, let me do this. And I even told Jackson, 0:29:34.880 --> 0:29:38.920 maybe this will kind of change like how I how 0:29:38.960 --> 0:29:41.560 I look at my life in general, you know. So 0:29:42.640 --> 0:29:46.360 second like basically second day, I was already like, Wow, 0:29:46.520 --> 0:29:48.480 look at this, look at everything that you have. And 0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:52.360 for me also, it was more my family. My family 0:29:52.400 --> 0:29:56.080 just keep coming up because they're just I'm so thankful 0:29:56.120 --> 0:30:00.719 for them, like every my cousin, my cousins, my mom, sister. 0:30:01.000 --> 0:30:03.960 It was just constantly I was just like, Wow, I'm 0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:08.120 surrounded by by really amazing people. And plus for you, 0:30:08.360 --> 0:30:10.960 just like for you my home, which just like I have, 0:30:11.120 --> 0:30:14.760 I'm safe. I kept reminding myself, I'm in a safe place. 0:30:15.320 --> 0:30:19.640 I'm happy about that, I'm happy about my family. So 0:30:19.880 --> 0:30:22.280 that was really a constant thing for me when it 0:30:22.320 --> 0:30:25.360 comes to the gratitude challenge, and I think that that 0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:29.880 really it helped me a lot going into this year. Okay, 0:30:30.360 --> 0:30:32.840 a couple of years ago, I really did not do 0:30:32.920 --> 0:30:36.640 any vision board. I used to be really big on 0:30:36.760 --> 0:30:40.640 vision boards and I just kind of let go of that, 0:30:41.240 --> 0:30:44.240 and this year getting into it, I was like, wow, 0:30:44.560 --> 0:30:46.280 you know what, I want to do a vision board. 0:30:46.600 --> 0:30:48.600 I want to like, I want to I want to 0:30:48.600 --> 0:30:52.560 actually have something to look forward to again, because I 0:30:52.560 --> 0:30:54.960 really wasn't having like anything to look forward to them 0:30:55.040 --> 0:30:58.400 just like you know what. And then with COVID, everybody 0:30:59.440 --> 0:31:01.560 I was seeing a lot of you know, just a 0:31:01.560 --> 0:31:04.880 lot of sad people. Everybody was just everybody just was 0:31:04.960 --> 0:31:07.400 talking about how sad they were. And it was kind 0:31:07.400 --> 0:31:10.560 of affect the meal because I'm seeing everybody talking about sadness. 0:31:10.920 --> 0:31:12.800 I literally I was just like, Wow, everybody's sad. I 0:31:12.800 --> 0:31:15.280 guess it's okay for me to be sad too. But 0:31:15.400 --> 0:31:17.960 I just took it a little too far. So I 0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:20.760 was just like, I just didn't I forgot about the 0:31:20.840 --> 0:31:24.520 good things in life. And then as I'm writing down, um, 0:31:25.080 --> 0:31:29.040 I'm from West Africa, so there are simple things that 0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:31.640 I can remember I didn't have back then when I 0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:35.080 was living in Gambia that I have now. And I 0:31:35.080 --> 0:31:38.000 talked to my cousins that are back home also that 0:31:39.520 --> 0:31:43.160 it's okay. God no I was doing laundry one day 0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:46.040 and um, one of my cousins, he's from the village, 0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:49.440 so he I was doing. I was on WhatsApp and 0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:51.440 he was like, what are you doing? And I didn't 0:31:51.480 --> 0:31:54.960 even think I forgot that. Wow, we really don't even 0:31:55.040 --> 0:32:01.640 have Washington like uh Washington dry. Yeah, And I said, oh, 0:32:01.640 --> 0:32:04.200 I'm watching my clothes and he was like, in a machine. 0:32:04.840 --> 0:32:07.040 I was like wow. I was like, oh my god. 0:32:07.040 --> 0:32:09.760 So I flipped my camera and should show him literally 0:32:09.880 --> 0:32:12.480 step by step how would go. And then I poured 0:32:12.520 --> 0:32:17.680 the uh you know the liquid uh drying thing. No, 0:32:17.840 --> 0:32:24.280 it was the the fabric softener. Yes, okay, it's dawny 0:32:24.360 --> 0:32:27.080 actually yeah, yes, I poured down it and he was 0:32:27.320 --> 0:32:30.160 and he was like, so the machine knows when to 0:32:30.280 --> 0:32:33.880 release that and that. I was just like, oh my god. 0:32:34.280 --> 0:32:37.280 So that also like made me sit. I was. I 0:32:37.320 --> 0:32:39.160 wrote that down real quick. I was like, oh, thankful 0:32:39.200 --> 0:32:41.880 for watching watching watching my clothes, being able to wash 0:32:41.960 --> 0:32:45.240 my clothes and a machine thought about the dishwasher and 0:32:45.400 --> 0:32:48.800 all of that. So for me, it was it just 0:32:48.880 --> 0:32:51.360 came right on time, and I felt that it took 0:32:51.400 --> 0:32:55.720 me out of the depression I was I was facing 0:32:55.720 --> 0:32:59.680 at the time. It just made me feel very I 0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:02.840 I'm getting emotional to just yeah, I'm getting so I'm 0:33:02.840 --> 0:33:05.320 gonna just let you know I'm fighting it like I'm 0:33:05.360 --> 0:33:10.360 having a conversation with myself, like yeah, me too. I'm 0:33:10.400 --> 0:33:12.040 a quick prior to it, and when I do, I'm 0:33:12.080 --> 0:33:14.920 a cry baby. Man. Yeah. When when I think about 0:33:15.400 --> 0:33:17.440 you know, like how when you feel sad and you 0:33:17.480 --> 0:33:20.880 think about the moment during the moment, how you felt 0:33:21.480 --> 0:33:24.560 when you were sad, and I think about that moment 0:33:24.560 --> 0:33:27.240 and how I feel right now, I'm just like, wow, 0:33:27.600 --> 0:33:32.080 I really was sad. Yeah, but having that m gratitude challenge, 0:33:32.120 --> 0:33:33.760 I had to sit back and say Fox to what, 0:33:34.280 --> 0:33:37.000 you know, all these things are not going right in 0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:40.240 your life. You know how you expected your life to go. 0:33:40.320 --> 0:33:42.640 It's not going that way. But look at all this 0:33:42.760 --> 0:33:46.440 that you have. I was just like, Okay, I really 0:33:46.440 --> 0:33:49.240 like where I'm So it really did that for me, 0:33:49.840 --> 0:33:52.000 Like it really really And I didn't even finish like 0:33:52.080 --> 0:33:54.800 half of it. I didn't even finish. I didn't finish 0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:57.440 half of it. And for you, like you said, I 0:33:57.480 --> 0:33:59.840 want this also to be part of my life. Yeah, 0:34:00.200 --> 0:34:02.320 because I think that it's a good reset for me 0:34:02.720 --> 0:34:06.480 because the things that I'm going through. I'm going to 0:34:06.560 --> 0:34:08.920 continue going through it for a while because it's something 0:34:08.960 --> 0:34:13.520 that it's not solved yet, you know, so it'll continuously 0:34:13.560 --> 0:34:15.759 like knock me down a little bit. So I was 0:34:15.840 --> 0:34:18.560 finding it very hard to to like get out of 0:34:18.560 --> 0:34:22.080 whatever I was in. And the gratitude challenge, which I 0:34:22.160 --> 0:34:25.720 never really thought about ever before, it really I felt 0:34:25.719 --> 0:34:28.880 that that's one thing I can kind of find ways 0:34:28.880 --> 0:34:32.000 to kind of reset myself back to with that gratitude challenge. 0:34:32.000 --> 0:34:34.600 So I really really, it really really helped me out 0:34:34.640 --> 0:34:38.280 for me. Man, you'll try to make an og cry 0:34:38.320 --> 0:34:42.719 over you. It's it's tough. I didn't know you were 0:34:42.719 --> 0:34:47.520 from them. Yeah, I was supposed to go there when 0:34:47.520 --> 0:34:50.480 I went to Segale. I went to Senegale and two 0:34:50.560 --> 0:34:53.160 thousand and four and we were supposed to go I 0:34:53.200 --> 0:34:55.120 was there for like a week and we were supposed 0:34:55.160 --> 0:34:57.680 to go to the Gambia for like two or three days. 0:34:57.760 --> 0:35:01.239 But if I'm not to say that, I think I 0:35:01.280 --> 0:35:03.600 heard yourself or I might have told you. Maybe I didn't. 0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:07.280 I don't remember a lot of term memory is not good, 0:35:07.680 --> 0:35:10.400 but um, if I'm not mistaken, was there like some 0:35:10.560 --> 0:35:13.399 kind of like civil unrest or there was something going 0:35:13.440 --> 0:35:19.000 on around Yeah, with the president situation. Well, I couldn't 0:35:19.040 --> 0:35:23.279 come because of that, so I just stayed in the car. Yeah, 0:35:23.320 --> 0:35:25.239 you should go. It's it's very Oh no, So my 0:35:25.320 --> 0:35:27.319 cousins and I are really thinking, because I went with 0:35:27.360 --> 0:35:30.160 my cousins, we're thinking about doing a twenty year like 0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:34.960 anniversary trip back to see That would be really really nice. Yeah, 0:35:34.960 --> 0:35:38.239 because a lot has changed. A lot has changed because 0:35:38.480 --> 0:35:40.880 the big you know, the big statue, the bronze statue. 0:35:40.920 --> 0:35:43.719 Then it wasn't there when we went the first time. 0:35:44.120 --> 0:35:48.919 Oh wow, No, and I want to see it. It's beautiful. Yeah, 0:35:48.920 --> 0:35:52.080 I want to see it. Yeah, you should definitely go. Yeah, 0:35:52.080 --> 0:35:54.520 that's the plan. That is amazing. That was such I 0:35:54.560 --> 0:35:57.279 feel like we're at church and like everybody's giving their testimony. 0:35:59.520 --> 0:36:02.279 So I also want to tell you, Gina that I 0:36:02.360 --> 0:36:06.279 keep pulling clothes out of my mouth because I'm drinking them. 0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:08.160 Because of your mother, you can you always can tell 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:11.560 when I'm tipsy because my eyes look like pools of water. 0:36:11.960 --> 0:36:15.600 They are very shiny and black right now because I'm tipsy. 0:36:15.800 --> 0:36:19.279 Who wants to go next? So so for me, gratitude 0:36:19.360 --> 0:36:22.160 is a big deal, right, because there are so many 0:36:22.160 --> 0:36:25.719 things to appreciate, but we don't focus on that and 0:36:26.000 --> 0:36:28.200 every in general, you know, we don't focus on that 0:36:28.239 --> 0:36:31.799 the way we should. So I'm listening to the podcast 0:36:32.000 --> 0:36:36.319 and i hear the Gratitude Challenge and I'm like, oh, yes, 0:36:36.840 --> 0:36:39.680 I'm gonna do it. And I can't do anything by myself. 0:36:39.680 --> 0:36:42.160 It's not called my friends like, look y'all gonna do 0:36:42.160 --> 0:36:45.000 it too, and they're like yes. So I thought it 0:36:45.080 --> 0:36:50.320 was something really big to share for me. I really 0:36:50.360 --> 0:36:53.399 had to tap in, right. So the first few days 0:36:53.440 --> 0:36:57.560 of the challenge, I was like, oh, materialistic this and 0:36:57.920 --> 0:37:00.160 you know, I think I had posted about like my 0:37:00.280 --> 0:37:03.120 heated seats in my car, like, yes, this is what 0:37:03.160 --> 0:37:08.920 I am thankful for this life. That's real. It's cold. 0:37:09.640 --> 0:37:12.239 We're all on the East Coast. It get cold in 0:37:12.280 --> 0:37:15.040 the morning. When you got to go to work. It 0:37:15.080 --> 0:37:18.279 was nineteen degrees this morning. Yeah, no, trust me. Like 0:37:18.400 --> 0:37:21.400 I it is a high on my gratitude list. But 0:37:21.480 --> 0:37:23.880 what I did was I took a minute, you know, 0:37:23.920 --> 0:37:26.919 to sept within myself and to really dig a little 0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:31.160 bit deeper, right because if it all washed away, what 0:37:31.280 --> 0:37:35.719 do you really have? And I'm super grateful that both 0:37:35.760 --> 0:37:37.960 of my parents are still alive. Like I can actually 0:37:37.960 --> 0:37:40.240 call my parents right now and talk to the morningfu. 0:37:40.280 --> 0:37:42.000 I'm not gonna call for they're gonna be on the podcast, 0:37:42.480 --> 0:37:44.480 but I can really call them and talk to them, 0:37:45.080 --> 0:37:47.480 my grandmother, like, you know, it's things like that I 0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:50.360 really tap into. So the challenge really made me focus 0:37:50.480 --> 0:37:54.279 on what I'm grateful for and then what I'm grateful for, 0:37:54.360 --> 0:37:57.240 like on a larger scale, like the real big stuff. 0:37:58.320 --> 0:38:01.759 And what I did was I did share what I 0:38:01.800 --> 0:38:04.680 was grateful for within the challenge. I also told the 0:38:04.719 --> 0:38:08.160 people that how it, you know, how I felt about 0:38:08.160 --> 0:38:10.160 them in my life and the impact they had. So 0:38:11.160 --> 0:38:14.160 one of my cousins, you know, she's nine years older 0:38:14.200 --> 0:38:17.600 than me, and as a child, I always thought she 0:38:17.719 --> 0:38:20.480 was like the bomb. I mean, she had the hairstyle, 0:38:20.600 --> 0:38:24.960 the clothes, she looked amazing. We all have that cousin, right, 0:38:25.080 --> 0:38:27.920 So but I had to let her know, like, you 0:38:28.000 --> 0:38:30.960 are really like that to me. And then what happened 0:38:31.080 --> 0:38:34.319 was in that conversation she expressed to me some of 0:38:34.320 --> 0:38:37.640 her emotional limitations and things that she struggled with. And 0:38:37.640 --> 0:38:39.560 I was and it slapped me in a face because 0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:42.160 I'm sitting here thinking, I look at you like you 0:38:42.200 --> 0:38:45.960 are great and amazing, but you're slowly breaking down inside. 0:38:46.520 --> 0:38:49.680 But in that conversation, I was able to, you know, 0:38:49.800 --> 0:38:52.000 rebuild her a little bit because she was like, wow, 0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:55.759 I really needed to hear that I am these great 0:38:55.800 --> 0:38:58.120 things because right now I feel like I'm struggling. And 0:38:58.160 --> 0:39:00.480 I was like, I had no idea. I was just 0:39:00.600 --> 0:39:03.719 sharing gratitude and who knew, you know, you needed it. 0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:07.400 So the challenge really helped help me and people around 0:39:07.400 --> 0:39:09.359 me in a lot of ways because we were able 0:39:09.400 --> 0:39:13.439 to bring forth, you know, just stuff that you don't 0:39:13.480 --> 0:39:17.319 think about, you know, right, just every what seems to 0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:19.759 be everyday things that you don't focus on. So since 0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:24.000 the challenge has ended, I have allowed myself to continue 0:39:24.560 --> 0:39:27.080 to focus on gratitude. I'm not letting up on that. 0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:30.640 So the other day my husband was getting on my 0:39:30.719 --> 0:39:33.600 nerves and I told him, I was like, you were 0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:37.200 really driving me crazy. But instead of lashing out, I 0:39:37.360 --> 0:39:40.319 just reeled back into focus on the positives, like, you 0:39:40.320 --> 0:39:43.319 know what, maybe he's having a bad day, maybe he's 0:39:43.360 --> 0:39:45.000 having a rough work with you know what I mean, 0:39:45.040 --> 0:39:47.319 Like things that we don't think about when things roll over. 0:39:47.880 --> 0:39:53.160 So I've been focusing there. And this morning I made 0:39:53.160 --> 0:39:55.480 an appointment to take my car to the dealer to 0:39:55.560 --> 0:39:57.480 get to maintenance. Doun. It was supposed to be a 0:39:57.560 --> 0:40:01.279 little small package and then it ended up being a 0:40:01.280 --> 0:40:04.720 little more than what I anticipated, but I was able 0:40:04.800 --> 0:40:08.040 to pay it, and I was like that that right 0:40:08.080 --> 0:40:10.879 there is what I'm grateful for because I can make 0:40:10.920 --> 0:40:14.080 sure that my car is maintained without having a you know, 0:40:14.200 --> 0:40:16.600 cut costs here or borrow money, veil and can I 0:40:16.680 --> 0:40:19.120 loan you know, something like that. And that was a 0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:21.279 that was a really big deal for me. So I 0:40:21.320 --> 0:40:24.719 appreciate you for even doing the Gratitude challenge because it 0:40:24.800 --> 0:40:29.120 has helped me and my family on another level. Um, 0:40:29.160 --> 0:40:35.080 it also inspired our family happy hour. Oh wow yeah, 0:40:35.239 --> 0:40:37.480 so um I started, you know, I was in my 0:40:37.520 --> 0:40:39.680 feelings doing a challenge and telling my family I love 0:40:39.760 --> 0:40:41.600 them and this is why I love you when you 0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:45.799 bringing you bring And so Christmas one is COVID, which 0:40:45.840 --> 0:40:49.360 is a big deal. Um. I work in the school. 0:40:49.480 --> 0:40:51.479 My cousin worked in the school. My other cousin works 0:40:51.480 --> 0:40:53.960 in the jail. So we're kind of like COVID pubs 0:40:54.320 --> 0:40:58.080 just because of when we work I leave Bill, yes, 0:40:58.800 --> 0:41:02.120 and we you know, we have this grandmother. But for 0:41:02.200 --> 0:41:05.120 things like the holidays, it's hard. For Christmas specifically, it's 0:41:05.160 --> 0:41:08.200 hard for us to come together because we have kids 0:41:08.200 --> 0:41:10.239 and spouses and things, and it's hard to just pick 0:41:10.280 --> 0:41:14.320 somewhere to go. So we decided to hope. I decided 0:41:14.560 --> 0:41:18.919 we were hosting a family happy hour because although we 0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:25.000 are with our extended families, we still nothing feels better 0:41:25.040 --> 0:41:28.600 than being with your people in your space. So on 0:41:28.640 --> 0:41:32.200 the twenty second of December, we had a family happy hour. 0:41:32.280 --> 0:41:36.239 Everybody contributed whatever, and we all came together. And that 0:41:36.280 --> 0:41:38.240 was a part of the gratitude because for the last 0:41:38.280 --> 0:41:40.600 month I've been telling everybody how much I love them 0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:42.960 and how great they were. And it was a ripple 0:41:43.000 --> 0:41:45.520 effect because the more I said it, then the more 0:41:45.600 --> 0:41:47.799 they said it, and the morning, you know what I mean, 0:41:47.840 --> 0:41:50.200 like everybody was like, well, you do this great and 0:41:50.320 --> 0:41:53.200 for a happy hour it was like, oh, you know, cousin, 0:41:53.280 --> 0:41:55.239 you always make the best drinks, so you make the 0:41:55.280 --> 0:41:57.200 drinks and you always do this, And it became like 0:41:57.239 --> 0:42:00.280 a big thing and we had the time of our life, 0:42:00.400 --> 0:42:05.240 just our family together for well four or five hours, 0:42:05.320 --> 0:42:07.759 you know, whatever, amount of time it was, and it 0:42:07.800 --> 0:42:10.880 was great. So I appreciate you for even bringing it 0:42:10.960 --> 0:42:13.960 up because you took my family to another level this holiday. 0:42:13.960 --> 0:42:16.920 See man, y'all trying to get a ge fucked up 0:42:16.920 --> 0:42:21.720 in there? Come on, now, we know that I don't. 0:42:21.000 --> 0:42:23.759 I don't. Okay, all right, I'm go on to say 0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:26.360 what I need to say later, Okay, angel, last, but 0:42:26.480 --> 0:42:30.239 not least. Man, that's a tough act to follow. I 0:42:30.400 --> 0:42:32.600 know that's what she's talking about. I'm changing your family 0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:35.080 and shit like, come on now, all right, that's heavy. 0:42:35.360 --> 0:42:38.080 It's a lot of pressures. You did you want to 0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:40.960 talk about some real old geez, like I got some 0:42:41.040 --> 0:42:43.359 geez in my family. So thank you, thank you. That's 0:42:43.400 --> 0:42:48.640 support the gratitude challenge to me. Actually, I think it 0:42:48.680 --> 0:42:51.000 was on the some of the first so um, I 0:42:51.080 --> 0:42:53.160 was a little late in the game, but you know, 0:42:53.280 --> 0:42:56.160 she said, I want you to participate in this gratitude challenge, 0:42:56.719 --> 0:43:01.200 and it was like an instantaneous, like no brainer for me. 0:43:01.680 --> 0:43:07.399 This past year, I have literally working my full time 0:43:07.480 --> 0:43:12.239 job and addition also my full time business which I'm 0:43:12.280 --> 0:43:19.520 an event planner, and literally from February to probably about June, 0:43:19.719 --> 0:43:22.360 I was literally was working seven days a week. Okay, 0:43:22.440 --> 0:43:24.520 I can understand this because I worked seven days a 0:43:24.520 --> 0:43:28.239 week and it was mentally and physically just you know, 0:43:28.520 --> 0:43:30.799 really starting to take a toll on me. And I 0:43:30.840 --> 0:43:34.480 told myself, once I finished these events in June, I'm 0:43:34.520 --> 0:43:37.080 cutting it off and I need to take some time 0:43:37.120 --> 0:43:39.120 for myself. And then the events picked back up, and 0:43:39.160 --> 0:43:41.440 then you know, it kind of came to a stop. 0:43:41.520 --> 0:43:44.799 The holidays are you know, as for anyone, it's a 0:43:44.840 --> 0:43:48.400 difficult time, right and it's December is especially a difficult 0:43:49.080 --> 0:43:52.239 you know time for me. And when she sent it, 0:43:52.239 --> 0:43:54.160 it was just kind of like it was just right 0:43:54.200 --> 0:43:58.840 on time. During the challenge really showed me that as 0:43:59.080 --> 0:44:06.839 working all women, mothers, daughters, friends, cousins, employees, we need 0:44:06.880 --> 0:44:09.440 to do a better job of taking a step back 0:44:09.600 --> 0:44:12.680 and really being appreciative for the things that we actually 0:44:12.719 --> 0:44:14.680 do have, because you know, a lot of things can 0:44:14.680 --> 0:44:17.880 become routine. We get up, we take our kids to 0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:21.799 school or you know, drop you know, our spouses off 0:44:21.880 --> 0:44:24.480 or carpool and whatever the situation may be. And then 0:44:24.520 --> 0:44:26.600 we come home, take care what we can take care 0:44:26.600 --> 0:44:27.759 of me, We go to sleep, and they would do 0:44:27.760 --> 0:44:30.359 it all over again. What I found out was that 0:44:30.520 --> 0:44:33.880 I have an appreciation for the people that are especially 0:44:33.920 --> 0:44:37.080 closer for my circle. So when I look back at 0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:40.920 my Gratitude challenge, and some days, you know, I did forget, 0:44:41.360 --> 0:44:45.320 but I would say, oh, day seven, eight, and nine, 0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:47.680 and I would literally list it out because I didn't 0:44:47.680 --> 0:44:50.239 want to skip a day because that's how important that 0:44:50.320 --> 0:44:54.200 it actually felt for me. So I made sure I 0:44:54.200 --> 0:44:57.120 show my appreciation to my husband, you know, which I 0:44:57.200 --> 0:44:59.319 try to do as much as possible, you know, my 0:44:59.400 --> 0:45:03.120 best friend, and you know, my close family members and friends. 0:45:03.640 --> 0:45:07.640 And doing this Gratitude challenge really kind of set the 0:45:07.719 --> 0:45:11.440 tone for me for twenty twenty two. So I think 0:45:11.480 --> 0:45:14.719 a lot of people every year they're you know, they say, oh, 0:45:14.800 --> 0:45:17.239 my New Year's resolutionists, I'm going to go to the gym, 0:45:17.400 --> 0:45:19.600 I'm gonna do this, and they have these laundry lists 0:45:19.600 --> 0:45:22.080 of goals, and I've been doing that for the past 0:45:22.120 --> 0:45:26.160 couple of years. But I don't have any goals for 0:45:26.239 --> 0:45:32.160 twenty twenty two. Listen, that's it, and it's okay, sis, 0:45:32.880 --> 0:45:35.840 it is okay over here, and hand me my prestre 0:45:35.920 --> 0:45:38.560 new angel. So you don't know, I rebuked the demon 0:45:38.600 --> 0:45:43.120 of overproductivity, especially in Black women, we tied. We tired 0:45:43.120 --> 0:45:46.279 of ship, very tired. We tired of our assets being tied. 0:45:46.520 --> 0:45:49.440 We tied from them being tied. They worked to our 0:45:49.480 --> 0:45:53.120 so that we can rest a little bit. Rest, Yeah, tied, 0:45:53.239 --> 0:45:57.160 yured and I said that you know, you know, Essence, 0:45:57.200 --> 0:46:00.880 you know, one of my biggest supporters. And for the 0:46:00.920 --> 0:46:03.520 longest time, I've had so many people, you know, telling 0:46:03.560 --> 0:46:06.319 me how great I am, and you know, and you know, 0:46:06.360 --> 0:46:08.560 they really believe in me and they love what I'm doing. 0:46:09.080 --> 0:46:12.239 And you know, for someone who was just you know, 0:46:12.320 --> 0:46:14.160 gotta keep going, I gotta keep going. I don't gotta 0:46:14.160 --> 0:46:16.799 time to stop. You really don't take the time to 0:46:16.840 --> 0:46:19.200 really reflect on that. And I really sat back and 0:46:19.239 --> 0:46:21.600 I said, you know what, I work entirely too damn 0:46:21.680 --> 0:46:24.960 hard and I do two damn much to not really 0:46:25.000 --> 0:46:29.239 sit back and just you know, rep reap the benefits 0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:32.799 of what I've put in. So I said, I'm going 0:46:32.880 --> 0:46:36.080 to take more self care for Angel because that's what 0:46:36.160 --> 0:46:40.280 I pulled from a gratitude challenge, and also to continue 0:46:40.400 --> 0:46:44.879 to spend time with my family and friends and just 0:46:45.600 --> 0:46:48.479 kind of go with the flow and just realize that, hey, 0:46:49.560 --> 0:46:52.600 these things are going to be there, but this isn't 0:46:52.640 --> 0:46:58.839 everything in life. So it was really an eye opening experience. 0:46:58.960 --> 0:47:01.920 And I even think you for you know, putting that 0:47:01.920 --> 0:47:04.319 out into the atmosphere and the fact that I since 0:47:04.360 --> 0:47:06.560 listened to the podcast along with you know, your other 0:47:06.600 --> 0:47:09.359 listeners and then it was able to you know, have 0:47:09.440 --> 0:47:12.279 such a huge effect on me. So it was it 0:47:12.320 --> 0:47:16.200 was really great. That is awesome. Man, I feel dumb 0:47:16.239 --> 0:47:19.160 when I'm about to talk about mine, like all right, well, okay, 0:47:19.400 --> 0:47:25.520 well I was just happy, okay the end. No, I 0:47:25.560 --> 0:47:32.319 was determined that I would finish this challenge because an 0:47:32.320 --> 0:47:36.360 area of my life that over the past few years 0:47:36.360 --> 0:47:39.439 that I'm actually since I started this podcast or maybe 0:47:39.480 --> 0:47:41.440 a little before that, I really try to focus on 0:47:41.600 --> 0:47:44.520 is finishing what I start. That's important to me. So 0:47:44.560 --> 0:47:47.319 I was determined to finish it, and I needed to 0:47:47.320 --> 0:47:51.040 finish it because it's my idea and I can't say 0:47:51.080 --> 0:47:52.920 I want you guys to do it and finish it 0:47:53.080 --> 0:47:56.799 and I don't finish it myself. So I did, like 0:47:56.840 --> 0:47:58.680 I said, I did the whole challenge. I might have 0:47:58.760 --> 0:48:02.640 missed like two days maybe I went on vacation, and 0:48:02.760 --> 0:48:05.080 while I was on vacation, I didn't have my post 0:48:05.120 --> 0:48:09.680 it notes, but I ended up writing I take like 0:48:09.719 --> 0:48:12.600 a journal or a notebook of some sort everywhere I go, 0:48:12.800 --> 0:48:14.719 like I have to take it. And I don't even 0:48:14.719 --> 0:48:16.840 know why, because sometimes I don't write in them, but 0:48:16.920 --> 0:48:18.359 just in case I get a good idea, I need 0:48:18.400 --> 0:48:20.359 to be able to write it down. And so I 0:48:20.400 --> 0:48:24.879 wrote in the back of an old journal every day, 0:48:24.920 --> 0:48:26.920 and then when I got home, I cut the pages 0:48:27.000 --> 0:48:29.440 up and just folded them up and put them away. 0:48:29.800 --> 0:48:34.320 For me, I think I wanted to keep the momentum 0:48:34.360 --> 0:48:37.000 of how I was feeling when I went on that 0:48:37.040 --> 0:48:40.520 trip to Arizona and seeing my brothers and my birthday 0:48:40.600 --> 0:48:43.040 was right after that. I wanted to keep that momentum 0:48:43.080 --> 0:48:47.040 up because it was almost like it was almost like 0:48:47.040 --> 0:48:51.759 a high for me. And I don't know if I 0:48:51.800 --> 0:48:54.480 was necessarily chasing the high or it was just like, 0:48:54.560 --> 0:48:56.520 I really like the way this feels. I want to 0:48:56.560 --> 0:48:59.040 sit in this, because it's not that I live a 0:48:59.120 --> 0:49:02.960 life of where I'm not grateful or I'm not appreciative, 0:49:03.239 --> 0:49:06.080 but forcing yourself to really hone in on five to 0:49:06.200 --> 0:49:10.400 ten things that you're grateful for it sounds overwhelming, but 0:49:10.480 --> 0:49:13.160 when you get into it, it's really not once you 0:49:13.239 --> 0:49:16.359 realize that it's not a complex thing, because, like Gina said, 0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:20.799 you find yourself saying, I'm just grateful for breath. I'm 0:49:20.840 --> 0:49:25.319 grateful for a nice cutlery set, because one time I 0:49:25.360 --> 0:49:28.560 wrote that I'm grateful that I have nice knives. Right, 0:49:28.680 --> 0:49:30.360 you're muted, essence, I don't I don't know if you 0:49:30.400 --> 0:49:33.319 knew that, but I see you moving here. Well, no 0:49:33.800 --> 0:49:35.680 I did, though I was muted. I didn't want to 0:49:35.680 --> 0:49:39.120 necessarily interrupt you. But okay, but that's a big deal. Yeah, 0:49:39.200 --> 0:49:41.759 having nice knives is important, Yes, when it's time to 0:49:41.760 --> 0:49:45.680 cut vegetables or meant, but I wanted to I wanted 0:49:45.680 --> 0:49:48.279 to keep the momentum going and keep that feeling going 0:49:48.800 --> 0:49:52.560 because it was such a I was in such a 0:49:52.560 --> 0:49:55.600 good place when it was happening. And so I think 0:49:55.920 --> 0:49:59.680 for me, the thing that I noticed the most is 0:49:59.719 --> 0:50:03.799 that I am very grateful for the people that are 0:50:03.840 --> 0:50:06.600 around me. And since I might have even wrote one 0:50:06.640 --> 0:50:09.760 time that I was grateful for you, because you whenever 0:50:09.840 --> 0:50:13.120 you see me at least one to two times a week, 0:50:13.440 --> 0:50:17.879 you encourage me as it relates to this podcast, and 0:50:18.080 --> 0:50:20.920 you don't really know how impactful that is for me, 0:50:21.400 --> 0:50:23.600 because I am the kind of girl or the kind 0:50:23.600 --> 0:50:25.880 of person where when I'm tired or something, I just 0:50:25.880 --> 0:50:27.839 don't do it no more, which is why I said 0:50:27.880 --> 0:50:31.160 I wanted to finish something that I started. So it's 0:50:31.280 --> 0:50:33.640 very encouraging on those days where I don't feel like 0:50:33.680 --> 0:50:36.560 it or I feel like I'm not making an impact 0:50:36.640 --> 0:50:38.920 with the work that I'm doing with this, or that 0:50:39.080 --> 0:50:42.640 I feel like i haven't quite tapped in yet, or 0:50:42.680 --> 0:50:45.719 like that I'm not good enough, or like nobody listened 0:50:45.760 --> 0:50:48.640 to my podcast because it's stupid, Like I can always 0:50:48.640 --> 0:50:50.719 count on you at some point during the week to 0:50:50.840 --> 0:50:52.840 talk to me about how great you think it is, 0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:57.359 and I am very grateful for that. But I'm really 0:50:57.400 --> 0:50:59.640 grateful for the people that I have around me, and 0:50:59.680 --> 0:51:03.399 I think that for me that's important because I know 0:51:03.760 --> 0:51:08.439 what loss looks like and feels like in the way 0:51:08.440 --> 0:51:12.960 of like humans in your that probably should be closer 0:51:13.040 --> 0:51:17.560 to you, right whether it's emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or physically. 0:51:18.160 --> 0:51:20.759 So I really cherish the people that are around me, 0:51:20.960 --> 0:51:24.799 and doing this challenge really let me know like I 0:51:24.840 --> 0:51:29.279 do and I didn't do necessarily what you did in 0:51:29.360 --> 0:51:33.000 that I told them because I'm a super emotional libra. 0:51:33.320 --> 0:51:35.400 You're a Libra too, But I'm a super emotional Libra. 0:51:35.640 --> 0:51:37.520 I tell people all the time, I love you, You're great. 0:51:37.560 --> 0:51:40.319 Oh my god, you're so wonderful. But it really made 0:51:40.360 --> 0:51:45.080 me think, like I am so fucking loved, like I 0:51:45.160 --> 0:51:49.200 am loved by a lot of people, like and I 0:51:49.280 --> 0:51:53.840 have everything that I need. It also put into perspective 0:51:53.880 --> 0:51:58.399 for me that, like Fatima said, like all of my 0:51:58.480 --> 0:52:02.760 basic needs are met, and there are so many people 0:52:02.800 --> 0:52:06.279 who just their basic needs. Every day on my way 0:52:06.280 --> 0:52:09.160 to work, I pass this man. He sits on the meeting. 0:52:09.480 --> 0:52:14.799 He's homeless, and oh, I might cry. He's homeless. And 0:52:16.000 --> 0:52:19.439 my basic needs are met. I don't have to rely 0:52:19.560 --> 0:52:24.040 on somebody giving me their Panera scraps out of a car, 0:52:24.480 --> 0:52:27.600 or you know, giving me a blanket because I'm cold, 0:52:27.920 --> 0:52:31.160 or you know, my needs and my and beyond my 0:52:31.200 --> 0:52:34.000 basic wants are ment. I'm grateful for that because everybody 0:52:34.040 --> 0:52:36.240 can't say that. And I'm not grateful for it because 0:52:36.239 --> 0:52:40.680 somebody else can't. I'm grateful for it because I know that. 0:52:41.239 --> 0:52:43.600 You know. So this is tricky. When I'm thinking the 0:52:43.600 --> 0:52:45.880 thought that I just had, it's like, I know that 0:52:45.960 --> 0:52:47.680 I'm worth it and I know that I deserve it, 0:52:47.719 --> 0:52:50.160 you know, because we push that like you deserve says 0:52:50.600 --> 0:52:53.279 and you deserve and I deserve and I'm worth it. 0:52:53.520 --> 0:52:56.440 Maybe she's worth it, maybe it's mabeling or maybe she's 0:52:56.480 --> 0:52:59.120 born with or whatever. But the truth of the matter 0:52:59.239 --> 0:53:02.960 is that I am so blessed to have it because 0:53:03.040 --> 0:53:06.319 everybody don't got what I got. So the fact, how 0:53:06.680 --> 0:53:10.000 are we to a decision that could be you know, child, 0:53:10.040 --> 0:53:12.320 because we've all been through different things in different spaces, 0:53:12.320 --> 0:53:13.560 and like I like to joke and say I was 0:53:13.560 --> 0:53:15.920 bougie homeless, but I've been through some shit and like 0:53:16.840 --> 0:53:19.600 every decision we make sometimes God put us in that spot. 0:53:19.880 --> 0:53:22.279 But who's to say that those people don't deserve things 0:53:22.280 --> 0:53:24.279 that we have as well? Is it? A decision is 0:53:24.440 --> 0:53:30.759 based on access? Like absolutely, so I oh, so you 0:53:30.800 --> 0:53:33.080 don't listen, so you don't listen to the show, which 0:53:33.080 --> 0:53:35.200 what you don't know is that that's what I do. 0:53:35.560 --> 0:53:37.239 I like a lot of crystals. I like a lot 0:53:37.239 --> 0:53:39.839 of incense and oils and shit and sage and shit. 0:53:40.280 --> 0:53:42.160 But don't ever get it fucked up. I was raised 0:53:42.200 --> 0:53:44.160 in the church, so I'm I'm gonna take it back 0:53:44.160 --> 0:53:50.120 to God. Every time, hallelujah. I think that sometimes because 0:53:50.200 --> 0:53:53.560 we do get especially black women, Oh I deserve because 0:53:53.680 --> 0:53:56.279 I'm a Black woman, and I deserve and you do 0:53:56.480 --> 0:53:59.360 deserve this on you know, on a very basic level, 0:53:59.680 --> 0:54:03.000 every body deserves, right. We don't deserve no more than 0:54:03.040 --> 0:54:05.879 nobody else. I'm gonna lead that where it's at. But 0:54:07.520 --> 0:54:11.399 I think that it is much more pleasing to God 0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:15.000 to look at the situation like, how blessed am I 0:54:15.560 --> 0:54:18.120 that you chose me to have these things, that I 0:54:18.200 --> 0:54:20.600 have to have, these people, that I have to have 0:54:20.680 --> 0:54:23.120 this washing machine, And not that he didn't choose your 0:54:23.120 --> 0:54:25.360 cousin to have a washing machine fought to him, not 0:54:25.440 --> 0:54:27.440 that he didn't, he did choose you to have it. 0:54:28.600 --> 0:54:31.560 How blessed are you to have the washing machine? Right? 0:54:31.960 --> 0:54:35.040 And even in showing your cousin the washing machine, that 0:54:35.080 --> 0:54:37.879 could have sparked like some hope in him, like, man, 0:54:37.960 --> 0:54:40.440 I need to go to get my ass over to 0:54:40.480 --> 0:54:42.280 the US so I can get one of these machines 0:54:42.280 --> 0:54:45.439 she got, you know, and in turn he and even 0:54:45.440 --> 0:54:47.239 if he never makes it to the US to get 0:54:47.239 --> 0:54:50.719 a machine, it might spark something in him that's positive. 0:54:50.760 --> 0:54:53.160 Because as you guys were talking, you got you guys 0:54:53.160 --> 0:54:54.959 are like, oh, I'm grateful that you did this because 0:54:55.000 --> 0:54:57.520 it made me feel this, And I'm like, shit, I'm like, 0:54:57.640 --> 0:55:00.880 I ain't no fucking body. Who am I to spark joy? 0:55:00.920 --> 0:55:04.680 But who am I to not? And I just think 0:55:04.760 --> 0:55:09.640 that you know, when we operate from a place of gratitude, 0:55:09.719 --> 0:55:12.120 it changes your whole mindset. And all of you have 0:55:12.200 --> 0:55:16.000 said that I know someone who is dealing with like 0:55:16.200 --> 0:55:23.080 really bad grief, right, and I lost my grandfather. Oh 0:55:23.200 --> 0:55:25.640 Sunday will be too now, y'all really want a bitch 0:55:25.680 --> 0:55:29.040 to cry? Now? Oh, um, Sunday it will be two 0:55:29.120 --> 0:55:31.600 years to the day. And my grandfather talked about him 0:55:31.640 --> 0:55:35.200 on this show all the time. He was my ace boom, like, 0:55:35.280 --> 0:55:38.799 he was my number one cheerleader. Like sometimes I'm like, man, 0:55:38.840 --> 0:55:40.799 I wish he was here to see me doing this, 0:55:40.840 --> 0:55:43.440 because he wouldn't. He wouldn't even he don't even he wouldn't. 0:55:43.440 --> 0:55:45.480 He don't know what the podcast is. But he would 0:55:45.520 --> 0:55:47.480 be calling this friends. He would listen to every episode. 0:55:47.520 --> 0:55:50.200 He would tell his friends, Oh, my granddaughter got the show. 0:55:50.239 --> 0:55:52.400 You should listen to it. She on the radio. He 0:55:52.400 --> 0:55:54.520 would just make something up, but I know he would 0:55:54.560 --> 0:55:56.400 be really proud of me. It was a big loss 0:55:56.440 --> 0:56:00.800 for me. But I navigate grief a little bit differently 0:56:00.800 --> 0:56:03.560 because of this challenge, because I look at it like, 0:56:04.120 --> 0:56:08.480 how grateful am I to have even been able to 0:56:08.520 --> 0:56:11.120 have a relationship with him from the start? Because everybody 0:56:11.120 --> 0:56:14.799 didn't have a grandfather? Some people never their grandfather died 0:56:14.840 --> 0:56:18.000 before they were born. I had my grandfather, my grandfather. 0:56:18.920 --> 0:56:21.560 I was forty when my grandfather passed away. I had 0:56:21.600 --> 0:56:24.959 a grandfather for forty years, and a grandfather who stood 0:56:25.000 --> 0:56:27.600 in the gap for me when my own father did 0:56:27.640 --> 0:56:32.239 not or my own mother did not, or when I 0:56:32.280 --> 0:56:34.960 did not stand in the gap for myself. So I 0:56:35.000 --> 0:56:37.680 think I look at grief in a different way because 0:56:37.680 --> 0:56:41.319 of this challenge, though now not that I was like 0:56:41.400 --> 0:56:44.440 walking around really sad or depressed as a result, but 0:56:44.480 --> 0:56:46.839 I definitely look at it a little bit different now. 0:56:46.840 --> 0:56:49.920 I like, how grateful am I? How grateful am I 0:56:50.200 --> 0:56:54.239 to know who my parents are? I know who they are, 0:56:54.680 --> 0:56:58.000 They're still alive, Like I like, you have to really 0:56:58.200 --> 0:57:01.319 think about it and not from a place where I 0:57:01.400 --> 0:57:04.799 have something that somebody else doesn't, or like my situation. 0:57:04.800 --> 0:57:07.440 It bothers me when people say, well, somebody else always 0:57:07.480 --> 0:57:10.960 has it worse off than you. Yeah, Like that's operating 0:57:11.000 --> 0:57:13.920 from a space of negativity, right, perspective too, right, Like 0:57:13.960 --> 0:57:15.640 we can all say things our worst space on how 0:57:15.640 --> 0:57:18.040 we feel like going through this challenge. I lost my 0:57:18.080 --> 0:57:19.680 mom a little over a year ago, and so that's 0:57:19.680 --> 0:57:22.280 why this holid season was really really rough. But during 0:57:22.320 --> 0:57:25.720 this challenge, an acquaintance or a friend of mine passed away, 0:57:25.880 --> 0:57:28.440 and I I meanly thought about her daughter, who was turning. 0:57:28.440 --> 0:57:31.080 I think she's like thirteen, and I'm like, day, I'm 0:57:31.120 --> 0:57:32.960 over here broken up and crying and if that shouldn't 0:57:32.960 --> 0:57:34.960 because it's my mom. But I'm like, but my mom 0:57:35.000 --> 0:57:38.120 got to see me till I was forty two. Yeah, yeah, right, 0:57:38.280 --> 0:57:39.920 Like she got to see I got to spend a 0:57:39.960 --> 0:57:42.120 long time, but I got to have quality time and 0:57:42.160 --> 0:57:45.280 close connection. This young lady loses her right at the 0:57:45.280 --> 0:57:47.840 pivot point where she's becoming a teenager and about to 0:57:47.840 --> 0:57:49.760 do all these things where she's not going to have 0:57:49.880 --> 0:57:52.440 that experience. And so it put it into perspective for 0:57:52.480 --> 0:57:54.240 me where I think I mentioned earlier, some of my 0:57:54.280 --> 0:57:56.360 things that I was grateful for was really good memories. 0:57:56.520 --> 0:57:58.080 You know, I was grateful for the quality time that 0:57:58.080 --> 0:58:00.480 I have with my mom, like the connection that had, 0:58:00.520 --> 0:58:02.480 like just a lot of things where I'm like, wow, 0:58:03.000 --> 0:58:04.560 not that you know, she's not going to have a 0:58:04.600 --> 0:58:06.960 negative way, but it makes you look at it differently 0:58:06.960 --> 0:58:08.280 for what you did have, even if the time was 0:58:08.320 --> 0:58:10.800 still considered short, right, Like I wouldn't want anybody to 0:58:10.800 --> 0:58:12.240 go through that. We may all go through it at 0:58:12.240 --> 0:58:14.440 some point, but still a perspective looking at it from 0:58:14.440 --> 0:58:17.960 a different place of I am thankful for having all 0:58:17.960 --> 0:58:19.960 of those things that maybe at times I got frustrated 0:58:20.000 --> 0:58:22.120 lye or her, you know, sometimes her opinions and a 0:58:22.120 --> 0:58:26.560 little too much mothering. But now it's different. Yeah, absolutely, 0:58:26.840 --> 0:58:33.240 I think that Another thing another theme that I saw 0:58:33.640 --> 0:58:37.880 for me was time alone. I work in a building 0:58:38.040 --> 0:58:43.680 with close to a thousand people, right, yeah, a COVID 0:58:43.720 --> 0:58:46.840 hot spot, honey. I work in the building with about 0:58:46.920 --> 0:58:52.200 I would say, close to a thousand people, well over 0:58:52.720 --> 0:58:56.479 like between nine fifty nine hundred, close to nine hundred 0:58:56.520 --> 0:59:03.400 and fifty people. And I think that time by myself, 0:59:03.520 --> 0:59:05.920 Like some people need to be around other people, like 0:59:05.920 --> 0:59:10.520 it feeds them, time with me feeds me. I really 0:59:10.600 --> 0:59:14.080 enjoy being with myself, Like I really like just being 0:59:14.120 --> 0:59:17.000 with me. Not that I don't like being around other people, 0:59:17.400 --> 0:59:20.840 but I really enjoy just spending time with myself. And 0:59:20.920 --> 0:59:23.200 I don't even have to do anything. It doesn't have 0:59:23.240 --> 0:59:26.520 to be a spa day or you know, me cooking 0:59:26.520 --> 0:59:31.000 a big meal. It could literally be me sitting and 0:59:31.040 --> 0:59:35.520 watching Harry Potter movies for eight days straight. I'm okay 0:59:35.560 --> 0:59:38.200 with it. I definitely bench watched the Harry Potter movie 0:59:38.200 --> 0:59:41.360 series during Christmas break and it was amazing. Is there 0:59:41.400 --> 0:59:44.120 anybody else who is really in the Harry Potter Please 0:59:44.160 --> 0:59:48.200 tell me? Yes, I am. What house do you belong to? 0:59:49.120 --> 0:59:55.040 Griffin Door? Hello? Yes, yeah. I took the test. I 0:59:55.080 --> 0:59:57.560 took it three times because the first time I took 0:59:57.560 --> 0:59:59.200 it the first time. I know this is a seguay, 0:59:59.200 --> 1:00:01.560 but if you listen to the show, you know Sis 1:00:01.560 --> 1:00:05.080 likes to digress. So I'm a late bloomer with Harry Potter. 1:00:05.560 --> 1:00:07.800 I read. I read the first two books in OH 1:00:07.920 --> 1:00:10.560 seven and o eight half of the second book, and 1:00:10.600 --> 1:00:13.360 then I dropped it because I started doing makeup full time, 1:00:13.400 --> 1:00:16.280 so I was really laser focused on that. I took 1:00:16.280 --> 1:00:18.400 the first test like maybe two or three years ago 1:00:18.400 --> 1:00:20.760 because one of my co workers is really in Harry Potter, 1:00:21.440 --> 1:00:23.160 and she was like, well, take the test of that. 1:00:23.240 --> 1:00:24.400 And then I was like, I don't know what the 1:00:24.400 --> 1:00:27.320 hell of Gryffinder is or gryffindor whatever it is. Well 1:00:27.320 --> 1:00:29.760 that's what I got on the test. After I watched 1:00:29.760 --> 1:00:33.000 the movies last two weeks ago. Took the test again 1:00:33.000 --> 1:00:35.360 and I got raven Claw and I was like, oh, 1:00:35.360 --> 1:00:37.480 I don't really know. This is weird because I don't 1:00:37.480 --> 1:00:40.120 really like feel it. I don't feel the raven Claw 1:00:40.200 --> 1:00:42.640 connection right. So I would have got hufful Puff. I'd 1:00:42.640 --> 1:00:44.840 have been like, Okay, I can feel that, but now 1:00:44.880 --> 1:00:47.520 I feel I don't feel that. Took it again and 1:00:47.640 --> 1:00:53.160 got Gryffinder, now Gryffindor, and I was like, okay, this 1:00:53.240 --> 1:00:56.720 is where I belong because they are brave, they're chivalrous, 1:00:57.320 --> 1:00:59.840 you know, and that is who I am. I think. Well, 1:00:59.840 --> 1:01:03.200 I took it to the second time when I got Slytherin. Well, 1:01:03.240 --> 1:01:07.800 don't tell anybody that, you know what, Sorry that we're 1:01:07.840 --> 1:01:10.360 having a sorry that we're having a Harry Potter Um 1:01:10.600 --> 1:01:13.560 spin off conversation. But here's what I learned about Slytherin. 1:01:14.000 --> 1:01:17.120 And because I joined the hair, I joined the Harry 1:01:17.120 --> 1:01:20.400 Potter Fan Club at forty two. Like no, literally, I 1:01:20.440 --> 1:01:22.360 signed up for the Harry Potter Fan Club and I 1:01:22.440 --> 1:01:25.800 get the eats now and you yeah, I'm not joking. 1:01:25.800 --> 1:01:28.640 When I like something, when I'm into something, I go hard. 1:01:29.040 --> 1:01:32.200 That's how I am. And so and so. UM, I 1:01:32.320 --> 1:01:35.040 read up something. I read some things about Slytherin and 1:01:35.080 --> 1:01:39.080 it seems like they get a bad they drab, but 1:01:39.200 --> 1:01:43.480 realistically they are really smart. Um, they use their resources. 1:01:43.520 --> 1:01:47.520 They're very cunning. Um, you know, and you know I'm 1:01:47.520 --> 1:01:49.600 with that, but it's not it's not for me. My 1:01:49.600 --> 1:01:52.640 favorite character on the in the movies though, is several 1:01:52.760 --> 1:01:57.080 snake by far, He's not. Oh yes, he is my 1:01:57.160 --> 1:02:00.800 favorite too. He is literally one of my favorite and 1:02:00.840 --> 1:02:07.400 his voice everything cried when he died. I definitely cry like, no, 1:02:07.520 --> 1:02:11.400 it realized. No I cried, I said, I was crying 1:02:11.600 --> 1:02:15.240 like I cried. Yeah, I was sorry, guys. So okay, 1:02:15.280 --> 1:02:18.240 So back to our normally a regally y'all didn't y'all 1:02:18.240 --> 1:02:22.800 don't watch her, y'all? No, No, I've watched the Harry 1:02:22.800 --> 1:02:26.280 Potter movies. I'm not that dial then, but no, if 1:02:26.280 --> 1:02:28.360 it comes on, I will sit down and I'll watch 1:02:28.400 --> 1:02:32.240 the movie. Okay, you're not. You don't watch oh I do. 1:02:32.320 --> 1:02:34.000 I loved Harry Potter to the point that I got 1:02:34.000 --> 1:02:35.880 excited about their reunion because I thought it was going 1:02:35.920 --> 1:02:38.600 to be an actual film Harry Potter. I'm like, all right, 1:02:38.600 --> 1:02:40.040 it's gonna have a plot. And I'm like, oh, we're 1:02:40.040 --> 1:02:43.920 watching them meet each other after two Okay, I knew that. 1:02:44.000 --> 1:02:46.080 You were like I knew it. I'm like, she's sitting 1:02:46.120 --> 1:02:48.840 over there, all calm, I know she's watched these films. 1:02:49.160 --> 1:02:52.680 So I started watching it. Everybody thought I was watching 1:02:52.720 --> 1:02:54.760 it because of the twenty year reunion, but I wasn't. 1:02:55.000 --> 1:02:56.720 I didn't even know that that was a thing, that 1:02:56.800 --> 1:03:00.480 it was happening until I got to seven point one 1:03:00.600 --> 1:03:04.200 film seven point one definitely Hallows Part one. But anyway, 1:03:04.320 --> 1:03:07.120 enough about Harry Potter that this just goes to show 1:03:07.160 --> 1:03:10.160 everybody listening that being a black woman, being a black 1:03:10.200 --> 1:03:14.600 person is not a monolithic experience. Okay, because you just 1:03:14.680 --> 1:03:19.000 heard four black women essence, you didn't get excited about it, 1:03:19.040 --> 1:03:21.880 So I guess you're not a new Potter. Okay, talk 1:03:21.920 --> 1:03:25.120 about Harry Potter. Three of them geeked out about it. 1:03:26.080 --> 1:03:29.400 One of them belongs to Harry Potter fan Club. Okay, 1:03:29.880 --> 1:03:33.040 and her name is me. That's who she is. But anyway, 1:03:33.920 --> 1:03:37.600 don't don't assume things about anybody, particularly black women, because 1:03:37.600 --> 1:03:39.480 we like all kind of things. So anyway, back to 1:03:39.560 --> 1:03:44.120 this gratitude challenge, So those were the overarching things for me, 1:03:44.560 --> 1:03:47.680 like just basic needs, like you know, I'm happy to 1:03:47.680 --> 1:03:50.520 have running water, like I've read through, I'm happy to 1:03:50.840 --> 1:03:53.919 running water. I'm happy to have heat because my heat 1:03:53.960 --> 1:03:57.160 broke twice during the fucking challenge, and then when it 1:03:57.280 --> 1:03:59.360 stopped breaking, I was like, I'm happy to have a 1:03:59.400 --> 1:04:01.840 warm home. I'm happy to have gas in my car. 1:04:02.320 --> 1:04:04.360 I'm happy to have food in my refrigerator. These are 1:04:04.360 --> 1:04:07.960 all things that I wrote down. So it was almost 1:04:07.960 --> 1:04:11.320 like it was a humbling experience, right because it makes 1:04:11.320 --> 1:04:15.320 you feel like, wait a minute, humble yourself before God 1:04:15.680 --> 1:04:18.360 for me, and just be grateful that I have these 1:04:18.640 --> 1:04:23.240 these things because you know, as they say in a 1:04:23.280 --> 1:04:26.560 lot of Christian songs, even me, like even me who 1:04:26.680 --> 1:04:28.800 sometimes you know we talk about like I said, oh 1:04:28.880 --> 1:04:31.800 I deserve, because I deserve. But you know, I'm not 1:04:31.880 --> 1:04:35.760 always a good little girl. I'm not always on my 1:04:35.800 --> 1:04:38.760 peas and ques. But God still saw fit to bless 1:04:38.800 --> 1:04:42.080 me with a warm home, food in my refrigerator, loving 1:04:42.160 --> 1:04:45.400 family and friends around me. So I think that for me, 1:04:45.480 --> 1:04:48.800 it was a very humbling experience and it really, like 1:04:48.840 --> 1:04:51.440 I said, made me think about how many awesome people 1:04:51.480 --> 1:04:54.320 I have in my life and around me, which I'm 1:04:54.360 --> 1:04:58.040 really really grateful for, including you guys, because y'all just 1:04:58.080 --> 1:04:59.840 bless me tonight. I don't even know if you know 1:04:59.840 --> 1:05:04.440 that Jena blessed me twice with this hot wine, but 1:05:04.520 --> 1:05:08.200 I appreciate you, guys. I do have a question, what 1:05:08.400 --> 1:05:11.360 is the hardest lesson you feel like you learned, but 1:05:11.440 --> 1:05:13.560 that you're grateful that you had to learn or that 1:05:13.640 --> 1:05:15.920 you got a chance to learn. I would say accept 1:05:16.080 --> 1:05:23.600 my situation, okay, just accepting, so acceptance of acceptance or 1:05:23.640 --> 1:05:28.720 just acceptance in general, just acceptance in general. I just 1:05:28.840 --> 1:05:33.400 wasn't accepting things okay, like just accepting everything and just 1:05:34.600 --> 1:05:37.760 being okay with even though things are not the way 1:05:37.760 --> 1:05:42.400 I wanted to be, other things are. I'm thankful for 1:05:42.480 --> 1:05:44.880 other things. Yea, I would say accepting because for me 1:05:44.960 --> 1:05:50.160 that was the hardest thing. I just was not accepting. Okay. Essence, 1:05:50.160 --> 1:05:54.400 your hand is up. Okay, So since we're on zoom. 1:05:55.160 --> 1:05:57.440 I felt like we were in a meeting. We were 1:05:57.600 --> 1:06:08.600 not like I doing meeting. That's that gobbling. I don't know. Well, Okay, 1:06:08.600 --> 1:06:10.600 so I raised my hand because I wanted to say something, 1:06:11.120 --> 1:06:14.280 but I don't necessarily know what I learned because it 1:06:14.360 --> 1:06:17.960 was like levels to it. It was more of an 1:06:18.040 --> 1:06:21.880 awakening than like learning something. Okay, that's the same. So 1:06:21.960 --> 1:06:24.440 in my family, and I'm gonna make I'm not gonna 1:06:24.480 --> 1:06:27.240 get a long winded with this, but in my family, 1:06:27.640 --> 1:06:30.439 so from the top, like my grandmother down, we don't 1:06:30.520 --> 1:06:34.680 express our feelings for each other unless we're drunk, right, Okay, 1:06:34.880 --> 1:06:39.080 so we'll have a gather at a party whatever. Everybody 1:06:39.080 --> 1:06:41.320 can get so drunk and then it's like, oh my god, 1:06:41.360 --> 1:06:43.960 I love you this, and that we have not gotten 1:06:44.000 --> 1:06:47.440 to a place. We're getting there, but prior to the 1:06:47.480 --> 1:06:49.880 Gratitude Challenge, we had not gotten to a place where 1:06:49.920 --> 1:06:52.200 we can honestly call each other and say, girl, I 1:06:52.240 --> 1:06:55.480 love you. Like the Gratitude challenge. The reason why I 1:06:55.520 --> 1:06:59.720 went and forwardly expressed the people how I felt was 1:06:59.840 --> 1:07:03.480 because it don't happen in our family. So it was 1:07:03.480 --> 1:07:06.200 a big deal because people were like, oh my gosh, like, 1:07:06.920 --> 1:07:09.120 I love you too, and I really do like this, 1:07:09.200 --> 1:07:11.760 and you know, we took it to another level. And 1:07:11.800 --> 1:07:15.720 we also included the children in this, so all the 1:07:16.320 --> 1:07:19.120 eighteen and unders were included, and it made it like 1:07:19.160 --> 1:07:22.320 a thing, like it was a big loving thing of 1:07:22.360 --> 1:07:24.640 appreciation within the family. Like I said, we went into 1:07:24.640 --> 1:07:29.040 the happy hour. What I realized in that moment is 1:07:29.120 --> 1:07:34.720 my power because I really took my family to another level. Girl, 1:07:34.760 --> 1:07:38.760 you out here breaking generational curses, listen, it's my goal. 1:07:38.880 --> 1:07:42.320 Like we don't have enough podcast time to get into 1:07:42.360 --> 1:07:45.200 the curses that are breaking. But I really realized my 1:07:45.280 --> 1:07:49.920 power within my family where if I say it, they 1:07:49.960 --> 1:07:54.600 will come. If I started, they will follow, and somebody 1:07:54.640 --> 1:07:58.560 has to be the one to do it. And if yeah, 1:07:59.440 --> 1:08:01.960 it was is a big deal, Like we had likes 1:08:02.000 --> 1:08:03.880 a lot because we had a whole cousins. Even that 1:08:03.920 --> 1:08:05.760 didn't happen, that was a whole big deal. And when 1:08:05.800 --> 1:08:09.080 we got to this and I started expressing and everybody 1:08:09.160 --> 1:08:13.080 started expressing, and it was a real big loving thing. So, um, 1:08:13.240 --> 1:08:14.960 you want to answer your question, I would get I 1:08:14.960 --> 1:08:18.160 guess it really is my power within my family and 1:08:18.280 --> 1:08:22.320 being the person to be able to um to do 1:08:22.360 --> 1:08:25.479 that to take us to another level. You know, even 1:08:25.520 --> 1:08:27.680 if it's just a hug, you know, we love each 1:08:27.680 --> 1:08:30.200 other level. That's an amazing thing. The other thing I 1:08:30.240 --> 1:08:33.040 wanted to add, so while you guys were gushing over 1:08:33.120 --> 1:08:37.479 your Harry Potter, I googled the Harry Potter quiz and 1:08:37.600 --> 1:08:40.680 I belonged to the House of raven Claw. That what 1:08:41.280 --> 1:08:43.680 in the Google search. That's not the real quiz. The 1:08:43.720 --> 1:08:45.320 one you took is not real. You have to take 1:08:45.360 --> 1:08:49.280 the quiz on my Wizarding World dot world, because that's 1:08:49.320 --> 1:08:52.240 the real quiz. Honey, it was on Google and it's 1:08:52.240 --> 1:08:56.960 a Harry Potter quiz. No. No, first of all, you're 1:08:57.000 --> 1:08:59.960 not You are probably a hufflepuff. You're definitely not a 1:09:00.040 --> 1:09:03.519 raven Claw. And you that's not the real quiz because 1:09:03.520 --> 1:09:05.559 the real quiz you gotta sign up. You gotta give 1:09:05.880 --> 1:09:08.320 your first born's toe nails, you gotta give a drop, 1:09:08.920 --> 1:09:12.920 you got to do a lot of things. That's the Yeah. See, 1:09:13.240 --> 1:09:15.200 that's the real test. I took that test three times. 1:09:15.200 --> 1:09:17.640 I deleted the account. I didn't. I wanted to know 1:09:17.760 --> 1:09:20.000 three out best three out of two out of three, 1:09:20.800 --> 1:09:25.879 and it was Griffin Door twice, raven Claw once, anyway, sorry, 1:09:26.640 --> 1:09:33.120 as you don't even know what anything. They could eat 1:09:33.320 --> 1:09:39.400 old dogs for breakfast. You don't even know, silly self. 1:09:39.439 --> 1:09:42.799 Any who. I also like Lord of the Rings too, anybody? 1:09:42.880 --> 1:09:46.800 Oh my god, Yeah, I mean too. I'm big, yes, 1:09:47.000 --> 1:09:52.800 lord of It. Literally do you know the amount of lesson? Yes, 1:09:52.840 --> 1:09:58.599 it was, and the Hobbit was too. Ye you're thinking 1:09:58.680 --> 1:10:01.519 of the hobbit. I am of the hobbit. Yep, my man, 1:10:01.720 --> 1:10:07.120 we're talking about how man. Yeah, listen, we're gonna talk 1:10:07.160 --> 1:10:08.920 on the side. We need, we need to talk on 1:10:08.960 --> 1:10:14.000 the side that that serious business. Yeah it is. Um. Okay, 1:10:14.040 --> 1:10:20.160 what about you, Angel? What is um a lesson that 1:10:20.200 --> 1:10:25.439 you were grateful to learn for me? I was grateful 1:10:25.520 --> 1:10:30.160 to really learn. I wouldn't say learn, it's more so 1:10:30.560 --> 1:10:35.520 UM kind of hone and on it. It's to appreciate 1:10:35.840 --> 1:10:40.840 me more. Okay, that's always about I will say I 1:10:40.920 --> 1:10:44.160 probably haven't done a great job over the past couple 1:10:44.160 --> 1:10:47.400 of years. So in my family, I am the go 1:10:47.479 --> 1:10:52.519 to person. UM. I am the person that they call um. 1:10:52.560 --> 1:10:54.760 I'm the person where I will give the shirt off 1:10:54.840 --> 1:10:57.439 my back. I'm always willing to help. I'm always kind 1:10:57.439 --> 1:11:00.800 of taking on everyone else's problems, but I have a 1:11:00.800 --> 1:11:04.640 tendency to put myself last. And I said that I 1:11:04.680 --> 1:11:10.320 need to stop doing that, because when I'm tired, when 1:11:10.439 --> 1:11:12.600 I'm ready to break, when I'm ready to throw my 1:11:12.680 --> 1:11:16.200 hands up, there's nobody that's what they're gonna be able 1:11:16.200 --> 1:11:18.800 to save me but me. You know, I say that 1:11:18.880 --> 1:11:21.040 a lot to people. Ain't nobody coming to save you 1:11:21.080 --> 1:11:24.040 since so save you. It's nobody that's coming to save 1:11:24.120 --> 1:11:27.320 me but me. So I said that if I don't 1:11:27.600 --> 1:11:30.080 take the time to slow down, pump the brakes, to 1:11:30.160 --> 1:11:32.519 stop and smell the flowers, you know, it could be 1:11:32.760 --> 1:11:35.760 a real detriment to myself. And I was just like, 1:11:35.840 --> 1:11:39.640 I really need to appreciate the great person that I am, 1:11:39.720 --> 1:11:44.519 and um, do more self care, take myself on more deep, 1:11:45.320 --> 1:11:49.120 tell people no more, and if they get mad, really 1:11:49.200 --> 1:11:53.760 don't give a shit. Yeah no, it's a complete sentence. Yeah, 1:11:54.040 --> 1:12:00.120 can you do this? No? No, nobody cannot. No. And 1:12:00.240 --> 1:12:02.880 guess what, you don't owe anybody in explanation after that, 1:12:03.080 --> 1:12:06.720 either if you give, if you give an explanation, then 1:12:06.760 --> 1:12:09.639 you are a kind person. That's that's that's extra. That's 1:12:09.640 --> 1:12:13.479 like whipped cream and a chair. But you don't owe anybody, 1:12:13.560 --> 1:12:15.640 not your children, not your husband, not your MoMA, not 1:12:15.720 --> 1:12:18.840 your daddy. You don't owe anybody in explanation no, And 1:12:19.200 --> 1:12:21.600 if you do give an explanation, the best explanation is 1:12:21.960 --> 1:12:25.920 I don't want to do that. Yeah, eriod, that's it 1:12:26.400 --> 1:12:31.080 and it's okay, and anybody and anybody who now don't 1:12:31.120 --> 1:12:33.839 go out and just be like because I did this. Actually, 1:12:33.920 --> 1:12:37.800 my therapist, I cannot have one episode where I don't 1:12:37.800 --> 1:12:40.479 mention this. Lady. I don't know what it is, but 1:12:41.560 --> 1:12:45.080 she said that maybe around June. She told me, she said, 1:12:45.080 --> 1:12:48.720 you've gotten really good with telling people now, and I 1:12:48.760 --> 1:12:51.519 mean really good with like standing up for yourself and 1:12:51.560 --> 1:12:54.400 saying no, you won't. But you need to figure out 1:12:54.439 --> 1:12:58.640 how to get back that love, loving and kind and 1:12:58.960 --> 1:13:04.120 sweet Mimi back. And I was like, no, I didn't 1:13:04.160 --> 1:13:07.000 say no, but like it was about balance. But I 1:13:07.040 --> 1:13:10.360 had gotten really good with, you know, saying the word no. 1:13:11.160 --> 1:13:14.320 You don't feel bad when you say no, because that's 1:13:14.320 --> 1:13:17.280 what that's what I'm struggling with, because you always say, 1:13:17.320 --> 1:13:19.559 do what you want to do and don't do what 1:13:19.600 --> 1:13:23.200 you know. But that is difficult because it's like once 1:13:23.280 --> 1:13:26.479 you say no, that guilt. Oh, my goodness. I always 1:13:26.520 --> 1:13:30.479 have to turn around and say okay, maybe, okay, yeah girl, 1:13:30.760 --> 1:13:34.439 we're gonna work on you. Like no, because struggle with that. 1:13:34.479 --> 1:13:37.719 But yeah, that guilt. It's like I feel so sad 1:13:37.760 --> 1:13:40.720 for them because I'm sitting here thinking, oh man, they 1:13:40.840 --> 1:13:45.000 really needed whatever it is. But you know, here's the thing, 1:13:45.920 --> 1:13:47.880 if you don't want to do it, you do more 1:13:47.920 --> 1:13:51.880 of a disservice to yourself by doing something that you 1:13:51.960 --> 1:13:55.519 don't want to do. It's now if it's if if 1:13:55.520 --> 1:14:00.320 it's your son and he's hungry, then you can't be like, no, 1:14:00.360 --> 1:14:03.200 I ain't fixing you nothing to need. Like if he's seven, 1:14:03.320 --> 1:14:06.799 like fix him something please, But like if he's a fourteen, 1:14:07.080 --> 1:14:10.120 if he's fourteen and you say, no, I don't feel 1:14:10.120 --> 1:14:13.320 like it today, little Bama, go in there and fix 1:14:13.400 --> 1:14:17.720 the sandwich. But go figure it out. But no, and 1:14:17.800 --> 1:14:22.000 I understand that, And I said that before in the 1:14:22.080 --> 1:14:25.559 last episode where my therapist was on the show. That 1:14:25.640 --> 1:14:28.799 was literally one of the best episodes for me. When 1:14:28.880 --> 1:14:31.760 it sounds real easy, do what you want and don't 1:14:31.800 --> 1:14:34.599 do what you don't want, the shit is hard. It is, 1:14:35.080 --> 1:14:41.240 especially especially if you are in a situation or you 1:14:41.320 --> 1:14:43.960 come from a family where you know, you know an 1:14:44.000 --> 1:14:48.120 immigrant family. Well, my family ain't my family immigrant family 1:14:48.200 --> 1:14:50.560 says we straight out of West Baltimore and we're we 1:14:50.600 --> 1:14:54.960 immigrants from from West Baltimore to Northwest Baltimore County, like 1:14:55.439 --> 1:14:57.679 were not immigrants. But that just goes to show how 1:14:58.080 --> 1:15:00.720 connected black people are. It does no matter where we 1:15:00.760 --> 1:15:05.720 are from. We could be from France, Russia, China, the Gambia, Granada, 1:15:06.240 --> 1:15:08.559 it doesn't matter. Like we're all connected in all of 1:15:08.560 --> 1:15:12.680 the things that we deal with, especially in our family dynamic. 1:15:13.120 --> 1:15:15.599 All that shit is connected. It's in our blood, it's 1:15:15.600 --> 1:15:17.880 in our bone marrow. I don't know if it came 1:15:18.040 --> 1:15:21.479 from with us when we came from Africa to Jamaica 1:15:21.640 --> 1:15:26.360 and Antigua and West Baltimore and North Carolina and wherever 1:15:26.439 --> 1:15:30.839 we are. But a lot of the family dynamic issues 1:15:31.840 --> 1:15:35.320 like it's all the same, right, and also how we're 1:15:35.360 --> 1:15:37.400 raised as women, right, like the things that we're taught 1:15:37.439 --> 1:15:39.800 to do and what's okay, and like what you can 1:15:39.880 --> 1:15:42.360 and can't sacrifice, and how it's selfish at yourself first, 1:15:42.400 --> 1:15:44.240 and how that part of times we tend to be 1:15:44.280 --> 1:15:47.280 the stable ones, right, we could share everybody else, like 1:15:47.840 --> 1:15:50.040 talk about saying no a lot now because I've been 1:15:50.160 --> 1:15:53.360 like literally the places of where I'm like, I'm making 1:15:53.400 --> 1:15:55.679 myself sick by not doing it. And I've been trying 1:15:55.720 --> 1:15:57.559 this for a number of years and it takes practice 1:15:57.560 --> 1:15:59.559 and it's not easy, but you have to get that 1:15:59.600 --> 1:16:02.040 place of like I feel like part of that contributed 1:16:02.040 --> 1:16:03.840 to my mom's passing, and I'm like, I don't want 1:16:03.880 --> 1:16:05.960 to go out like that. I refuse for that to 1:16:06.000 --> 1:16:10.280 be how I leave this world right. And so one 1:16:10.280 --> 1:16:13.599 are the things that are important? And my fiance has 1:16:13.600 --> 1:16:15.240 been huge and saying like, what are the three things 1:16:15.320 --> 1:16:17.400 you have to do right now? That literally like if 1:16:17.400 --> 1:16:19.040 you don't get them done this week, somebody's gonna get 1:16:19.080 --> 1:16:21.280 hurt or die. And if if if something can wait 1:16:21.280 --> 1:16:23.360 till next week, let it wait, if somebody else can 1:16:23.360 --> 1:16:24.960 get it done, see who else can get it done, 1:16:25.080 --> 1:16:27.080 because once you start saying no, you start to see 1:16:27.120 --> 1:16:29.400 who else will step up? And was that thing they 1:16:29.439 --> 1:16:31.800 asked really that important that you had to be done 1:16:31.840 --> 1:16:34.679 by you right now? Could it wait a week? Could 1:16:34.680 --> 1:16:36.479 they do it themselves? Are they okay? If not doing 1:16:36.520 --> 1:16:38.720 it at all? Like people will figure out a way, 1:16:38.720 --> 1:16:40.600 but we're so used to taking it all on and 1:16:40.680 --> 1:16:42.400 making things happen because we do, and we do it 1:16:42.479 --> 1:16:44.800 really really well that we don't want to say no 1:16:44.880 --> 1:16:46.880 or not. People expect it from us, right, and they 1:16:46.880 --> 1:16:49.040 get used to us stepping up. Another thing that my 1:16:49.160 --> 1:16:53.160 therapist has taught me is about like um black women 1:16:53.400 --> 1:16:57.760 in like the culture of like self sacrificing in the 1:16:57.840 --> 1:17:01.040 familiar unit, right, And she has taught me that I 1:17:01.080 --> 1:17:04.240 don't have to bleed out for you to understand that 1:17:04.280 --> 1:17:06.519 I love you and I support you, So I don't 1:17:06.560 --> 1:17:13.040 have to I don't have to slip my wrist and 1:17:13.280 --> 1:17:18.000 pour all my blood out so that you can, you know, thrive, 1:17:18.200 --> 1:17:20.439 because ultimately, it's not my job to make sure that 1:17:20.479 --> 1:17:23.200 you thrive. That's your job, because I'm out here trying 1:17:23.200 --> 1:17:25.120 to figure out how to make sure that I thrive. Right. 1:17:25.439 --> 1:17:28.320 Of course, I'm not talking about children, because it's difficult 1:17:28.680 --> 1:17:34.040 children or you know, elderly people who absolutely can't do 1:17:34.080 --> 1:17:37.599 anything for themselves, like that's different, or even family members 1:17:37.600 --> 1:17:41.200 that need support or assistance in a different way like 1:17:41.240 --> 1:17:44.040 they cannot do for themselves. But the thing is that 1:17:44.080 --> 1:17:46.960 like if you can do for yourself, you need to 1:17:47.000 --> 1:17:49.760 make some effort because it's not why am I sacrificing 1:17:49.840 --> 1:17:53.320 myself when you aren't putting forth any effort to do anything. 1:17:53.880 --> 1:17:57.160 That is absolutely not okay, because at the end of 1:17:57.160 --> 1:17:59.879 the day, like Gena said, you could end up physically 1:18:00.040 --> 1:18:04.040 ill or I'm gonna make it even more hot. You 1:18:04.160 --> 1:18:06.360 pour into somebody else. And a lot as women, we've 1:18:06.400 --> 1:18:09.120 been in relationships where we've done this for men or women, 1:18:09.120 --> 1:18:11.640 if you're with a woman, whatever, We've been in relationships 1:18:12.000 --> 1:18:15.120 where you pour so much into that other person to 1:18:15.240 --> 1:18:18.439 help them. Look at Issa Ray and Lawrence Orsa d 1:18:18.600 --> 1:18:22.600 and Lawrence. It did, it did, and I wanted to 1:18:22.600 --> 1:18:24.519 talk about that on this episode, but it can wait. 1:18:24.600 --> 1:18:27.240 I feel like we've all been in that relationship where 1:18:27.240 --> 1:18:30.559 we've poured so much and sacrificed so much for somebody else, 1:18:30.560 --> 1:18:33.000 and then when they done, they just get up and 1:18:33.040 --> 1:18:35.679 going about their business and go be with somebody else, 1:18:35.800 --> 1:18:40.400 or go be with themselves or move to yeah, or 1:18:40.439 --> 1:18:42.120 it's like all right, I don't need you no more. 1:18:42.439 --> 1:18:46.599 That's why sometimes not Sometimes it's always important to make 1:18:46.640 --> 1:18:49.760 sure that, like Angel says she's doing, it's important to 1:18:49.760 --> 1:18:54.160 take care of yourself. You have to because ultimately nobody 1:18:54.280 --> 1:18:56.920 is going to come and save you. So while you're 1:18:56.920 --> 1:18:59.679 out trying to save the world, Fatima, who is gonna 1:18:59.720 --> 1:19:05.880 save Batama yea who nobody Nobody's coming to save you, says, 1:19:06.800 --> 1:19:10.759 nobody is coming to save us, so we better save ourselves. 1:19:11.200 --> 1:19:14.439 That doesn't and that does not mean, and that's what 1:19:14.520 --> 1:19:16.560 my therapist was talking about. That doesn't mean that you 1:19:16.680 --> 1:19:20.000 stop being loving, that you stop being kind, that you 1:19:20.160 --> 1:19:23.000 stop being helpful, that you don't show up in your 1:19:23.040 --> 1:19:25.680 family the way you're used to. That just means that 1:19:26.080 --> 1:19:32.200 you are first your joy, your peace, your happiness, your 1:19:32.240 --> 1:19:37.400 well being, your physical health, your mental health, because black 1:19:37.439 --> 1:19:40.040 women do not put their mental health first, your mental 1:19:40.120 --> 1:19:43.519 health first. And then when I'm good, I can help 1:19:43.600 --> 1:19:46.880 you because another thing she taught me is that I 1:19:47.080 --> 1:19:50.719 make myself better and more apt to help other people 1:19:51.040 --> 1:19:55.120 when I take good care of myself. Right. So sometimes 1:19:55.200 --> 1:19:58.680 when the guilt get you think about it as and 1:19:58.760 --> 1:20:01.120 it's a shame that we feel guilty about being good 1:20:01.160 --> 1:20:04.960 to ourselves. But when the guilt comes along, say I'm 1:20:05.000 --> 1:20:07.320 making myself better so that I can better show up 1:20:07.840 --> 1:20:10.360 so that I can love I love you better when 1:20:10.720 --> 1:20:16.439 when I love me better, when you like all those things. Yeah, yeah, 1:20:16.880 --> 1:20:19.040 yeah me and let me reminded me, let me go 1:20:19.160 --> 1:20:21.240 email my therapist when we get off the phone because 1:20:21.400 --> 1:20:23.760 we need to sell something up from the January. See 1:20:23.880 --> 1:20:26.360 there you go. Are you better get to stand in appointment? 1:20:26.760 --> 1:20:30.200 My therapist? Cancel my therapist, cancel my appointment. Today I 1:20:30.320 --> 1:20:33.200 was a little bit upset. Well, listen, you know I 1:20:35.240 --> 1:20:41.439 four since two thousand and thirteen, all go together night, Listen. 1:20:43.040 --> 1:20:45.760 We we even had a better separation where she left 1:20:45.800 --> 1:20:49.160 the one um company that she was with and then 1:20:49.200 --> 1:20:53.200 when with this other company and they weren't accepting insurance 1:20:53.240 --> 1:20:54.880 and at that time I was not paying out to 1:20:54.920 --> 1:20:59.559 pocket um. But she came back to the company now 1:20:59.840 --> 1:21:04.000 and um, I've graduated from every week to a couple 1:21:04.040 --> 1:21:09.479 of times throughout the year. So that's a I don't 1:21:09.479 --> 1:21:11.800 ever want to graduate like that. I don't ever want 1:21:11.800 --> 1:21:14.600 to graduate. I don't want to where she was like, 1:21:14.680 --> 1:21:17.800 hey you eat me send me an email. But um, 1:21:18.280 --> 1:21:20.360 you know, with everything that I have like going on 1:21:20.600 --> 1:21:22.800 right now, I'm gonna wait for twenty twenty two and 1:21:22.840 --> 1:21:26.080 the ball to drop. But send me your schedule sets. 1:21:27.479 --> 1:21:29.880 I need to be on it. Tell me something that 1:21:30.040 --> 1:21:32.680 you guys, and we can start to wrap up. But 1:21:33.080 --> 1:21:36.400 tell me something that you guys are really excited about 1:21:36.520 --> 1:21:39.479 and looking forward to in this new year that maybe 1:21:39.520 --> 1:21:41.920 the maybe the challenge helped you with or maybe it 1:21:42.040 --> 1:21:44.599 did not, But if it did help you with being 1:21:44.640 --> 1:21:47.760 excited about something, tell me about that. For me, it 1:21:47.920 --> 1:21:54.559 helped me work on receiving everything right, just receiving in general. 1:21:54.720 --> 1:21:58.559 So naturally I'm always chasing the next thing. I had 1:21:58.600 --> 1:22:01.960 to teach myself to down a little bit. So if 1:22:02.040 --> 1:22:04.600 it's like what am I doing in education with my 1:22:04.760 --> 1:22:07.080 next job? Or what career am I planning for? Or 1:22:07.160 --> 1:22:09.479 what am I gonna do? What vacation am I going on? 1:22:10.000 --> 1:22:14.160 I'm always thinking about the next thing without properly, in 1:22:14.320 --> 1:22:19.000 my opinion, properly enjoying the thing I'm at right, So um, 1:22:19.600 --> 1:22:23.760 I decided, especially with the gratitude, because a lot came out, 1:22:23.840 --> 1:22:26.400 A lot came out, like I don't. I don't think 1:22:26.479 --> 1:22:30.400 y'all understand how much you know, love and appreciation was 1:22:30.560 --> 1:22:33.800 poured in this Gratitude challenge. It was poured into me, 1:22:33.920 --> 1:22:36.320 I poured it into people. It was like a whole 1:22:36.320 --> 1:22:42.040 little fountain thing going like this, Well, look, Jenny gonna 1:22:42.040 --> 1:22:43.760 be like don't know Ifody had nothing else no more. 1:22:45.240 --> 1:22:47.680 Gina is the auntie that sits back and watches like 1:22:49.080 --> 1:22:51.080 but it was she doesn't, She's not that's not what 1:22:51.200 --> 1:22:54.280 she's thinking. Um now. So I was really thinking, like, 1:22:54.520 --> 1:22:57.960 let me really focus and receive what I have and 1:22:58.120 --> 1:23:01.680 appreciate where I'm at and where I've come and not 1:23:01.840 --> 1:23:04.600 playing the next thing. So um. And it's you know, 1:23:04.640 --> 1:23:06.840 it's interesting because my cousin was like, hey, we should 1:23:06.840 --> 1:23:08.720 go on a trip, and I'm like, how much is it? 1:23:08.840 --> 1:23:11.040 Let's go, and and I didn't get a chance to 1:23:11.120 --> 1:23:13.400 book it. And I thought that that was like and 1:23:14.080 --> 1:23:17.600 you know God's intent because I'm not moving into a 1:23:17.720 --> 1:23:20.680 planning space. I'm not moving into planning for the next thing. 1:23:20.880 --> 1:23:25.080 I'm taking twenty twenty two day by day, week by week, 1:23:25.200 --> 1:23:27.240 like oh am, I free today. Well that's what I'm doing. 1:23:27.360 --> 1:23:30.680 I'm not looking I'm not looking for that next big thing. Um. 1:23:31.240 --> 1:23:33.519 And so for me, it was just living in the 1:23:33.640 --> 1:23:37.400 space that I'm in in this moment right here and 1:23:37.560 --> 1:23:41.040 receiving the love of the blessings and all that stuff 1:23:41.160 --> 1:23:44.519 around it. I'm just gonna go a hand coffee and 1:23:44.560 --> 1:23:53.120 pace for us. And so it was Oh, I'm looking 1:23:53.200 --> 1:23:56.960 forward to ease and quality time Like a lot of 1:23:57.040 --> 1:23:59.400 what I know this is the things that I'm really 1:23:59.439 --> 1:24:02.840 really great before are simple like like being able to breathe, 1:24:02.920 --> 1:24:05.840 go outside, like spend time with my dog and walk 1:24:05.920 --> 1:24:08.720 outside in nature and watch him play, spend time with 1:24:08.840 --> 1:24:12.200 my fiance, and like the things that it made me 1:24:12.320 --> 1:24:14.080 think more about, like what I do for a living, 1:24:14.200 --> 1:24:16.200 how I spend my time, Like I jokingly tell him, 1:24:16.240 --> 1:24:18.040 I'm like, when we get married, I could be a 1:24:18.040 --> 1:24:19.760 stay at home dog mom, right and I'm still send 1:24:19.760 --> 1:24:23.799 them in the daycare right, Like because I've been hustling 1:24:23.920 --> 1:24:27.439 for so long and doing everything for everybody, and one 1:24:27.479 --> 1:24:29.120 of my women I work with it, like one of 1:24:29.160 --> 1:24:31.320 my therapists or whatever was some me who told you 1:24:31.360 --> 1:24:33.120 I had to do all that And I had to 1:24:33.160 --> 1:24:35.720 think about that, and like nobody told me I had 1:24:35.760 --> 1:24:37.320 to do all that? Like where did I pick up 1:24:37.320 --> 1:24:39.240 this message that I had to be the one? And 1:24:39.320 --> 1:24:41.320 I've been living that way for so long And a 1:24:41.400 --> 1:24:42.840 lot of the things that I was grateful for during 1:24:42.880 --> 1:24:48.559 this challenge is rest, space, air, ability to move, time 1:24:48.600 --> 1:24:50.479 to do yoga, time to do this, like things that 1:24:50.520 --> 1:24:53.920 I may have created, I'm like I've worked so hard, constantly, NonStop, 1:24:54.000 --> 1:24:56.439 fulfilling this busy idea of Okay, I gotta clock in 1:24:56.560 --> 1:24:58.080 right now. I gotta showed, ready how hard I'm working. 1:24:58.120 --> 1:24:59.559 How to do all these things you needed done? Yep, 1:24:59.600 --> 1:25:01.720 I got it the guy that could do it. And 1:25:01.920 --> 1:25:04.080 all it's done is make me feel physically ill or 1:25:04.120 --> 1:25:07.439 stress me out, and I'm done. Like I cant telling 1:25:07.479 --> 1:25:09.200 people like I'm trying to retire at fifty and it 1:25:09.280 --> 1:25:12.240 doesn't mean I'm not going to be working in some capacity. 1:25:12.240 --> 1:25:13.880 I'm not gonna have income coming in in some way, 1:25:13.920 --> 1:25:15.559 but I don't want to work the nine to five, 1:25:16.280 --> 1:25:18.679 which is really nine to nine extra hustle role where 1:25:18.680 --> 1:25:21.240 I don't get to enjoy time with family, enjoy travel, 1:25:21.400 --> 1:25:25.320 enjoy life like I want ease. Yeah, it's funny you 1:25:25.400 --> 1:25:27.600 mentioned that word because I saw it a couple of 1:25:27.640 --> 1:25:29.960 weeks ago and I was like, I don't even know 1:25:30.040 --> 1:25:32.479 if I really know what that is, and I was 1:25:32.560 --> 1:25:36.840 like ease. I was like, that's what I want. I want. 1:25:36.920 --> 1:25:39.439 I want my life to be filled with ease and 1:25:39.600 --> 1:25:42.400 not that I don't want to know. Um. You know, 1:25:42.520 --> 1:25:44.680 sometimes I feel like as black people is like we 1:25:44.800 --> 1:25:48.040 feel like if it's no struggle then, you know, struggle 1:25:48.120 --> 1:25:55.200 makes the reward better. Fuck that, Yeah, and reward makes 1:25:55.240 --> 1:25:58.400 the reward better, like just getting it is enough. I've 1:25:58.439 --> 1:26:00.840 worked hard enough in my whole life. And if I didn't, 1:26:01.200 --> 1:26:05.040 my mother, my grandmother, my great grandmother, my great great grandmother, 1:26:05.280 --> 1:26:07.439 my great great great grandmother, and so on and so forth, 1:26:07.720 --> 1:26:09.559 they've worked enough that I can have a little bit 1:26:09.600 --> 1:26:12.760 of ease, and hopefully the young ladies that come after me, 1:26:13.320 --> 1:26:17.040 they'll have more ease than I did. I want ease 1:26:17.080 --> 1:26:19.600 if there doesn't have to be struggle. There doesn't have 1:26:19.840 --> 1:26:24.559 to be like this war with productivity and being busy 1:26:24.680 --> 1:26:28.760 and hustle, hustle, hustle for um me to you know, 1:26:29.840 --> 1:26:32.600 play hard or you know relax. No, I want to 1:26:32.640 --> 1:26:36.360 relax because I want to relax and I deserve to relax. 1:26:38.280 --> 1:26:42.840 It's my birthright to just relax. I love that about 1:26:42.880 --> 1:26:45.360 the knap ministry, and that's always a constant reminded me 1:26:45.400 --> 1:26:47.599 of the things that like, no, rest is your right, 1:26:47.960 --> 1:26:51.280 you need that. We don't have the nap industry. Oh 1:26:51.400 --> 1:26:55.000 my gosh, go check them out. So it's a real thing. Yeah, 1:26:56.800 --> 1:26:58.880 they teach a lot of healing through rest. And not 1:26:58.960 --> 1:27:01.760 always coming to be this culture and black women neither. 1:27:01.960 --> 1:27:05.080 Look black women behind it. I'm saying yeah, black men 1:27:05.160 --> 1:27:07.680 too though, because you know, it's like it's like we 1:27:07.840 --> 1:27:09.920 have something to prove. Look at Fatima's face, I'm not 1:27:10.040 --> 1:27:12.160 playing one of to day. She like, they don't do 1:27:15.120 --> 1:27:16.920 She was like, I'm doing it all. I can't tell 1:27:16.960 --> 1:27:22.120 them no yet She's absolutely they don't need shit. They 1:27:22.160 --> 1:27:26.840 don't know damn rest no not okay, Well then there's that. 1:27:27.680 --> 1:27:30.560 Um anybody else anything that you are looking forward to 1:27:30.760 --> 1:27:35.040 this year? Fatima? Yeah? Me. For me, I'm looking forward 1:27:35.080 --> 1:27:38.240 to just starting. I have so many projects I wanted 1:27:38.240 --> 1:27:40.720 to do. Oh I wanted to do, but because I'm 1:27:40.720 --> 1:27:44.040 always waiting for things to just be right, Like I'm 1:27:44.080 --> 1:27:46.479 always like I don't have I don't have this, so 1:27:46.600 --> 1:27:48.240 I can't do it. I don't have this, I can't 1:27:48.280 --> 1:27:50.240 do it. I don't have this, like I was so 1:27:50.800 --> 1:27:53.599 when I tell you, I was so consumed with things 1:27:53.720 --> 1:27:58.080 I do not have, like the That's what the Gratitude 1:27:58.160 --> 1:28:01.320 Challenge did for me, Like mainly is just looking at 1:28:01.479 --> 1:28:05.160 everything else I do have, to the point that projects 1:28:05.200 --> 1:28:09.280 that I want to start, I'm so concentrated, like let's 1:28:09.280 --> 1:28:11.240 say I want to I said I want to do 1:28:11.479 --> 1:28:14.080 videos or something like that. Oh I don't have this. 1:28:14.320 --> 1:28:21.679 Oh my room doesn't look this, or that's what I'm saying. 1:28:21.760 --> 1:28:24.479 I'm just like, I don't start anything because I'm just 1:28:24.760 --> 1:28:27.800 so concentrated on things I don't have. I can't do 1:28:27.960 --> 1:28:30.840 this because I don't have this. So for me this year, 1:28:30.920 --> 1:28:32.680 and that's why I said I want to do the UM. 1:28:33.840 --> 1:28:38.240 I'm doing the UM the vision board because I feel like, 1:28:38.560 --> 1:28:41.080 once I do the vision board, my vision. I haven't 1:28:41.120 --> 1:28:43.439 done my vision for Once I did my vision board, 1:28:43.840 --> 1:28:47.080 I feel like I can really just see everything and 1:28:47.160 --> 1:28:51.120 be like, Wow, I'm gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna actually 1:28:51.240 --> 1:28:53.679 do a lot of things this year. And I wasn't. 1:28:53.920 --> 1:28:56.479 My mind wasn't even set on that, Like I didn't 1:28:56.479 --> 1:28:58.240 even because I'm just like, oh, I don't have this, 1:28:58.280 --> 1:28:59.920 so i can't really do that. I can't. So I'm 1:29:00.120 --> 1:29:04.400 really looking forward to just just the projects that I'm 1:29:04.439 --> 1:29:06.840 gonna start. Yeah, that's really what I'm looking forward to. 1:29:07.479 --> 1:29:10.400 That's awesome, and you know, there's a form of freedom 1:29:10.640 --> 1:29:13.120 in all of this, but before I get there, for me, 1:29:13.400 --> 1:29:15.560 I'm looking forward to. It's funny that you said that 1:29:16.160 --> 1:29:21.120 I'm forward to, looking forward to living life and navigating 1:29:21.200 --> 1:29:25.240 through life. Um, I guess from a place of ease. 1:29:25.800 --> 1:29:28.840 I'm looking forward to not operating from a space of lack. 1:29:30.000 --> 1:29:32.840 And I think that that is something that is something 1:29:32.960 --> 1:29:39.600 that oh, that's yeah, I do or I did, excuse me, 1:29:40.240 --> 1:29:43.040 correct the mundo, something that I did in the past. 1:29:43.200 --> 1:29:45.720 I operate from a space of lack. Well, I don't 1:29:45.760 --> 1:29:48.599 have enough money to do that. Well, I don't have this. Well, 1:29:48.640 --> 1:29:52.240 I'm not small enough, I'm not smart enough. I don't 1:29:52.280 --> 1:29:56.639 have a degree. My hips are too big, my ankles 1:29:56.640 --> 1:30:00.519 are too ashy, my hair is too short. Maybe don't 1:30:00.520 --> 1:30:04.560 play with me and my ashley ankles. Okay, don't, But 1:30:04.720 --> 1:30:06.719 you know what I mean, just operating from a space 1:30:07.400 --> 1:30:10.800 not having enough, not being enough, not knowing enough, not 1:30:11.040 --> 1:30:15.679 looking like enough. No, I live a very abundant life. 1:30:16.400 --> 1:30:19.439 I have everything that I need. And once you realize 1:30:19.479 --> 1:30:22.280 that you have everything that you need, you realize that 1:30:24.560 --> 1:30:27.200 you get more. And I not because I want more, 1:30:27.840 --> 1:30:31.320 but also when you really when you appreciate the things 1:30:31.360 --> 1:30:34.639 that you have, you realize I don't really need anything else. 1:30:35.000 --> 1:30:36.840 And once you that's a part of acceptance to you. 1:30:36.960 --> 1:30:39.120 Once you accept like I'm I'm good over here, like 1:30:39.200 --> 1:30:41.720 I got everything that I need. That's when God is like, 1:30:41.920 --> 1:30:44.519 let me take some of these take some of these sprinkles. 1:30:44.800 --> 1:30:47.760 Put they put some sprinkles up on her life. I 1:30:47.840 --> 1:30:51.360 want the sprinkles. God, I'm hearing the sprinkles. It's so funny. Well, 1:30:51.400 --> 1:30:54.320 there's power and like even starting right because when you, 1:30:54.760 --> 1:30:56.360 regardless of what you have, when you at least take 1:30:56.400 --> 1:30:58.600 that step, it's like, all right, So she's serious about this. 1:30:58.960 --> 1:31:00.840 The rest of the stuff starts to make way. I 1:31:00.960 --> 1:31:03.720 work with women in a professional sense outside of you know, 1:31:03.800 --> 1:31:06.840 the bartending stuff. And every time we welcome new women 1:31:06.880 --> 1:31:08.960 into our organization, we talk about how we keep waiting 1:31:09.000 --> 1:31:11.080 for the right time. We wait for this to be right, 1:31:11.200 --> 1:31:13.000 money to be right, our side to be right. And 1:31:13.160 --> 1:31:14.840 like the quote ends is like time, it's waiting for 1:31:14.880 --> 1:31:17.559 the right us or something like that. And every time 1:31:17.600 --> 1:31:20.280 I've taken a leap, I'm always I'm nervous about I'm scared, 1:31:20.280 --> 1:31:22.720 but like the way things open up afterward, just by 1:31:22.800 --> 1:31:25.960 taking that step versus had I told myself, Oh, I 1:31:26.000 --> 1:31:27.760 don't have enough money to start this business. Oh it's 1:31:27.760 --> 1:31:29.360 a it's a pandemic. Nobody's going buy for me. Let 1:31:29.400 --> 1:31:31.720 me just not do it. Oh I don't know enough, 1:31:31.920 --> 1:31:34.040 or I haven't you know, my content isn't polished enough. 1:31:34.040 --> 1:31:37.000 Like we start somewhere and then we grow. The opportunities 1:31:37.040 --> 1:31:38.840 come when you're ready to take that leap. The more 1:31:38.880 --> 1:31:40.760 you say I don't have time or I can't, things 1:31:40.800 --> 1:31:42.600 won't come your way because you're saying I don't want it, 1:31:42.640 --> 1:31:45.040 I'm not ready. But when you open that space by saying, 1:31:45.040 --> 1:31:46.679 all right, let's start and get it done, no matter 1:31:46.720 --> 1:31:48.920 how it looks, and please do your vision board back 1:31:48.960 --> 1:31:51.560 to me, I will say I was skeptical, but I 1:31:51.640 --> 1:31:54.240 made one like I don't know five ten years ago, 1:31:54.360 --> 1:31:55.599 and I go back and look at it now because 1:31:55.600 --> 1:31:57.679 took a picture of them, like, oh it all didn't 1:31:57.720 --> 1:32:00.240 happen in that same year, but I planted those and 1:32:00.240 --> 1:32:02.040 I look at overtime like all of these things like 1:32:02.280 --> 1:32:04.439 now they've all come to fruition, even if I didn't 1:32:04.479 --> 1:32:06.160 realize I was working on it and like wanting to 1:32:06.240 --> 1:32:08.840 travel on all these things, like you put it out there, 1:32:08.920 --> 1:32:10.840 you spell it, it's a whole I don't know who 1:32:10.840 --> 1:32:12.280 actually come up what you're saying, but there's a whole 1:32:12.320 --> 1:32:14.880 thing about how write it out. Spelling is a spell 1:32:15.320 --> 1:32:18.320 and when you actually put it on paper or picturize 1:32:18.360 --> 1:32:20.040 it or it's not the right term, but you don't 1:32:20.040 --> 1:32:22.960 trying to say you start to visualize it, you start 1:32:23.000 --> 1:32:25.240 to make those things happen almost subconsciously, you open up 1:32:25.240 --> 1:32:29.680 that space for it. So that's what I'm yeah, absolutely no, 1:32:29.840 --> 1:32:32.200 that's what's gonna happen. The truth of the matter is 1:32:32.320 --> 1:32:34.599 that you know. And this is where I toggle back 1:32:34.640 --> 1:32:37.599 and forth with my own spiritual belief. But I feel 1:32:37.640 --> 1:32:40.479 like God in the universe is all one, it's all 1:32:40.560 --> 1:32:43.720 one thing, it's all one entity. And I feel like 1:32:43.960 --> 1:32:46.920 the things that you say are the things that like, 1:32:47.080 --> 1:32:50.080 that's a spell, or that is a wish, or that 1:32:50.240 --> 1:32:53.080 is a dream that you put out and once it 1:32:53.200 --> 1:32:55.759 comes out of your mouth, from your moth to God's 1:32:55.840 --> 1:32:59.040 ears or your moth to the universe's ears. And when 1:32:59.120 --> 1:33:01.439 you say these things, even when you say things that 1:33:01.800 --> 1:33:05.920 are not so positive, like I'm not small enough, well 1:33:06.040 --> 1:33:08.720 you probably won't lose any weight because you've already just 1:33:08.800 --> 1:33:12.160 said I'm not small Because that's all the universe is 1:33:12.160 --> 1:33:14.600 gonna hear. Is that I'm not small. You know, I 1:33:14.680 --> 1:33:17.080 don't have any money. Well, I'm not gonna give her 1:33:17.120 --> 1:33:18.640 no money because she don't have no money. And that's 1:33:18.680 --> 1:33:21.320 what she said. And your thoughts and your words are 1:33:21.400 --> 1:33:24.320 so powerful. And I like what you said, Gina, when 1:33:24.360 --> 1:33:27.559 you talked about spelling it out. It's like a spell. 1:33:28.040 --> 1:33:29.920 I don't you know people can write stuff in their 1:33:29.960 --> 1:33:32.439 phone all they want. I need a pen and I 1:33:32.560 --> 1:33:36.160 need some paper. I write it down. I write it down. 1:33:36.280 --> 1:33:39.000 I got to write stuff down. I do. And also 1:33:39.720 --> 1:33:41.680 you get the opportunity to go back and look at it, 1:33:41.920 --> 1:33:43.880 which is why this challenge was so important for me 1:33:44.000 --> 1:33:46.000 to write it down. And I'm not going to get 1:33:46.080 --> 1:33:47.960 rid of these things. I'm going to keep them. I'll 1:33:47.960 --> 1:33:50.920 probably keep them in this little gold jar because I 1:33:51.040 --> 1:33:53.280 need to keep them, you know what I mean, so 1:33:53.439 --> 1:33:56.080 that whenever I start to feel like I don't have enough, 1:33:56.160 --> 1:33:57.920 maybe I need to be reminded, like, bitch, you gotta 1:33:57.960 --> 1:34:00.800 running water. You got a cousin Julia. You got a 1:34:00.840 --> 1:34:04.320 cousin name Randall, cousin named Jasmine. You got essence to 1:34:04.520 --> 1:34:07.160 encourage you at work. You know, like all of these 1:34:07.240 --> 1:34:10.080 things that you have like tells you who you were 1:34:10.400 --> 1:34:13.800 right in that time too. And I'm gonna second um 1:34:13.920 --> 1:34:16.240 what Gina said about the vision board, because as you 1:34:16.320 --> 1:34:18.880 were talking, I thought about the vision board because I 1:34:18.920 --> 1:34:21.439 did one last year. I did one last year in January, 1:34:22.120 --> 1:34:26.160 and I kicked that motherfucker out of the park, except 1:34:26.240 --> 1:34:32.760 for the dating thing, you know. But anyway, ladies, I 1:34:32.920 --> 1:34:36.720 really appreciate you. Um. I would like for everyone, if 1:34:36.760 --> 1:34:39.360 you have any projects that you would like to pub 1:34:39.680 --> 1:34:43.200 I would like for you to talk about them. I 1:34:43.280 --> 1:34:49.080 am holding my uh collaboration mug with the Bedroom Bartender 1:34:49.200 --> 1:34:55.360 and Mantra mugs and it says Champagne two black owned 1:34:55.400 --> 1:35:00.160 businesses coming together like butt cheeks to make magic happen. Um. 1:35:00.280 --> 1:35:02.760 I stole that from Dave Chappelle. I think it was 1:35:02.840 --> 1:35:07.120 Dave Chapelle. And my mug says Champagne wishes and Prosecco budgets, 1:35:07.640 --> 1:35:10.920 and I love Champagne and I also love Prosecco. It's 1:35:10.960 --> 1:35:14.000 a big mug. I like it. Um. It's it makes 1:35:14.000 --> 1:35:17.040 me feel like I'm important because it's big, you know. 1:35:17.320 --> 1:35:19.080 It makes me feel like I'm important, like I have 1:35:19.120 --> 1:35:21.960 an important job to do. And where can they find them? Gina? 1:35:22.800 --> 1:35:25.040 You can find that on my website, on the bedroom 1:35:25.080 --> 1:35:28.840 Bartender dot com and how much do they cost? There 1:35:28.880 --> 1:35:31.400 are twenty five dollars and there's five other things too, 1:35:31.479 --> 1:35:34.439 So go over there and see what what resonates with you? 1:35:34.840 --> 1:35:38.160 What do you say? Yeah, we do. There's one that 1:35:38.280 --> 1:35:42.800 says it is after five in my mugu wine is 1:35:42.840 --> 1:35:49.439 always in season. Whiskey is a breakfast drink, well water wine, 1:35:49.560 --> 1:35:54.719 same difference that might be it. Yeah, all right, they're 1:35:54.720 --> 1:35:58.000 twenty five dollars. Again, go to www. Dot the bedroom 1:35:58.040 --> 1:36:01.120 bartender dot com. I will so put that in the 1:36:01.240 --> 1:36:04.080 show notes so that you can go and get yourself 1:36:04.120 --> 1:36:08.560 a mug in addition to buying a candle, because she 1:36:08.640 --> 1:36:11.760 has these candles there, or body scrub or body oil? 1:36:11.920 --> 1:36:14.160 Do you still have those? I still have some oil. 1:36:14.160 --> 1:36:16.639 I have basutuals as well. I have top shelf candles 1:36:16.680 --> 1:36:19.599 and classic candles. See that she's got all the things 1:36:19.640 --> 1:36:22.160 that you need for good times and you will find 1:36:22.240 --> 1:36:25.080 that information in the show notes. Anybody else have anything 1:36:25.120 --> 1:36:32.120 they want to talk about that they got going on? Crickets? No, nothing, Angel? 1:36:33.280 --> 1:36:36.160 You are an event planner, Yeah, I am an event planner. 1:36:36.320 --> 1:36:43.240 So if you guys have any parties, engagements weddings, anything 1:36:43.360 --> 1:36:46.680 that you are in need of event planning services for 1:36:47.960 --> 1:36:52.200 Leava Shari Events would love to be of service. And 1:36:52.560 --> 1:36:57.679 I can be found on Instagram at events by Lava Shari. 1:36:58.800 --> 1:37:03.919 Spell that out? Spell it out? Are you looking? Events? 1:37:04.640 --> 1:37:11.680 And then by in la a ter a b h 1:37:12.880 --> 1:37:17.639 e r I E okay, So Lava like lava out 1:37:17.680 --> 1:37:22.600 of the volcano. Yeah, so um it is a combination 1:37:22.760 --> 1:37:25.960 of my daughter and my mother's name. All my daughter's 1:37:26.200 --> 1:37:30.400 name is london Um london Ava, and my mother's name 1:37:30.560 --> 1:37:33.320 is Sherry. But when she liked to get fancied, you know, 1:37:33.439 --> 1:37:40.840 it's shetty, so I said, stands out, So I said Leava. Sure, okay, 1:37:41.080 --> 1:37:44.120 I like that. I like that. So just events by 1:37:44.240 --> 1:37:47.919 There's no underscore or anything. Nope, all all together events 1:37:48.040 --> 1:37:53.200 by Lava Shary. All right Instagram. We found that's because 1:37:53.200 --> 1:37:58.840 I've been drinking this mold wine. Um events by Lava 1:37:58.960 --> 1:38:02.479 Shari Ava Shari, and I will put that in the 1:38:02.520 --> 1:38:05.799 show notes as well. You are located in the Baltimore 1:38:05.840 --> 1:38:11.400 metropolitan area in the DMV. Yes, I am okay, and 1:38:11.800 --> 1:38:13.880 I want to thank all of you ladies for taking 1:38:13.960 --> 1:38:17.400 your time and energy to share your experience with the 1:38:17.479 --> 1:38:19.840 gratitude challenge with me. Do you guys think I should 1:38:19.880 --> 1:38:26.479 do this again? Yeah? Yes, absolutely absolutely yes, Okay for sure, Okay, 1:38:26.600 --> 1:38:28.600 all right, then I'll do it again and tell a 1:38:28.680 --> 1:38:30.280 friend to tell a friend to tell a friend. Get 1:38:30.320 --> 1:38:33.920 some more people up on here, and y'all can be pioneers. 1:38:33.920 --> 1:38:36.040 I want you, guys to know that you have blessed me. 1:38:36.160 --> 1:38:38.760 I'm grateful for you because you have blessed me in 1:38:38.840 --> 1:38:43.360 ways that you don't even know, because you have kind 1:38:43.439 --> 1:38:49.519 of made me see a part of myself that that 1:38:49.680 --> 1:38:52.520 I know is there, but that I don't really acknowledge 1:38:52.920 --> 1:38:56.400 a lot, and I appreciate that. I'm grateful for you. 1:38:56.560 --> 1:39:00.240 I'm grateful that you took your time at night when 1:39:00.280 --> 1:39:05.080 you could be sleep or watching programs on television, or 1:39:05.280 --> 1:39:09.280 snuggling with your doggies or your kiddo's or drinking your 1:39:09.320 --> 1:39:11.720 wine by yourself, whatever you like to do. But I 1:39:11.760 --> 1:39:14.560 appreciate you coming on here with me and talking to 1:39:14.640 --> 1:39:17.800 me about your experience. I appreciate it. I hope that 1:39:17.880 --> 1:39:20.920 it was a blessing to you the same day, whether 1:39:21.000 --> 1:39:22.560 it was a blessing to me. I hope that this 1:39:22.680 --> 1:39:26.639 gratitude challenge definitely. It sounds like it was a blessing 1:39:26.760 --> 1:39:29.400 to you. And I'm going to do it again because 1:39:30.560 --> 1:39:32.479 you guys said that it's a good idea. I'll just 1:39:32.560 --> 1:39:34.479 have to figure out when I do it again. Maybe 1:39:34.479 --> 1:39:38.360 I'll do it on March first, March first to April first, 1:39:38.479 --> 1:39:42.400 leading up to my birth adversary, which is like they 1:39:42.479 --> 1:39:45.519 hand me my purse. Birthday, which is April first. She'll 1:39:45.560 --> 1:39:50.519 be two years old. I know she's a toddler. She's 1:39:50.520 --> 1:39:54.200 a toddler. So thank you again, guys. I appreciate you, 1:39:55.680 --> 1:40:00.320 and I hope Angel that you start listening to the podcast. Well, 1:40:00.720 --> 1:40:03.680 I appreciate that. And all of you go write a 1:40:03.720 --> 1:40:07.160 review for my show. Okay, Gina, if you don't, I 1:40:07.240 --> 1:40:11.479 am going to slash your tires. Okay, I know where 1:40:11.479 --> 1:40:15.280 you live. I was at your house today picking up 1:40:15.320 --> 1:40:19.760 my mold wine recipe kit. Okay. Um, ladies, have a 1:40:19.800 --> 1:40:21.760 good evening, enjoy the rest of your week, and thank 1:40:21.840 --> 1:40:24.639 you for part being a part of my season three 1:40:25.800 --> 1:40:30.760 premiere show. Thank you so much. Have a good evening, ya, 1:40:31.280 --> 1:40:35.000 thank you, nic Hold up, friends again, I have some 1:40:35.200 --> 1:40:38.200 news or I have some information. You just listen to 1:40:38.360 --> 1:40:41.719 this conversation that I have with these absolutely beautiful ladies, 1:40:41.760 --> 1:40:45.240 beautiful on the inside and on the outside, and their 1:40:45.320 --> 1:40:47.280 testimonies and the thing that they had to say about 1:40:47.320 --> 1:40:51.360 the gratitude challenge. But Essence told us about her favorite 1:40:51.400 --> 1:40:55.759 wine from Saint Michael's Winery, the Golly Wobbler, Gobby Wobbler, 1:40:55.920 --> 1:40:59.240 Golly Wobbler. She said that they did not ship. That 1:40:59.520 --> 1:41:03.160 is not true. And putting together this episode while I 1:41:03.240 --> 1:41:06.920 was editing and doing the production and recording the other parts, 1:41:07.280 --> 1:41:09.960 because I do all of it by myself. This is 1:41:10.000 --> 1:41:12.880 a one man show, a one one man show. So 1:41:13.040 --> 1:41:15.960 while I was doing the production and getting the link, 1:41:16.080 --> 1:41:17.800 I went to look. I said, let me just check. 1:41:18.439 --> 1:41:22.000 So I went to check their website, Saint Michael's Vineyard 1:41:22.120 --> 1:41:25.040 or Wineries website to see if they did ship, and 1:41:25.160 --> 1:41:28.200 they in fact do ship. They just may not ship 1:41:28.320 --> 1:41:31.360 to every state because of different laws around liquor and 1:41:31.439 --> 1:41:34.280 shipping liquor and states. So in the show notes you 1:41:34.400 --> 1:41:38.680 will find a link to Saint Michael's Winery. And if 1:41:38.720 --> 1:41:41.280 you want to try the wine that Essence suggested, the 1:41:41.360 --> 1:41:43.840 Golly Wobbler, It's probably a little sweet for my taste, 1:41:43.880 --> 1:41:45.880 so I'm going to pass. But if you want to 1:41:45.920 --> 1:41:47.760 try it, I put a link in the show notes 1:41:47.760 --> 1:41:50.160 so that you could check it out. Okay, and if 1:41:50.200 --> 1:41:53.120 you're local, you can find out what liquor stores or 1:41:53.320 --> 1:41:57.920 stores or whatever carry it. You're welcome because I care. 1:41:58.720 --> 1:42:09.840 I take the extra step happy Golly Wobbler drinking. So 1:42:10.000 --> 1:42:13.040 for today's stray Faxed question, this is an interesting one 1:42:13.360 --> 1:42:17.080 as it is very pertinent and relevant to the times 1:42:17.760 --> 1:42:22.799 that we are living in. This question comes from Trina 1:42:23.400 --> 1:42:29.679 and Trina lives in good old Baltimore City, and Trina says, 1:42:30.479 --> 1:42:33.400 Haye me Walker big fan of the show and your 1:42:33.439 --> 1:42:36.160 perspective on topics, so I'm curious to see what your 1:42:36.200 --> 1:42:39.800 take is on my situation. Dating in the past two 1:42:39.880 --> 1:42:43.800 years has been interesting, to say the least. I've been 1:42:43.840 --> 1:42:47.360 trying to date as safely as possible amidst COVID nineteen 1:42:49.240 --> 1:42:54.919 double masked, double vaxed, waxed and boosted. I've been casually 1:42:55.000 --> 1:42:58.639 texting and facetiming a mutual friend, and he mentioned taking 1:42:58.680 --> 1:43:00.679 me to dinner on the twenty fourth for this month 1:43:02.800 --> 1:43:06.320 friends going to dinner. I wonder if he meant it 1:43:06.400 --> 1:43:08.760 in like a dainty dainty way or in like a 1:43:08.800 --> 1:43:11.679 hey girl, let's go out, or like a hasis, let's 1:43:11.720 --> 1:43:15.320 go out, or Yo, let's go out. Anyway, that was 1:43:15.400 --> 1:43:21.240 my sidebar I, of course casually slid in COVID nineteen restrictions, 1:43:21.520 --> 1:43:27.280 the rising numbers in all of that jazz to get 1:43:27.320 --> 1:43:31.920 the scoop on his vaccine status, Mimi, Not only is 1:43:32.000 --> 1:43:36.439 he an anti vaxer, he hates masks because of how 1:43:36.520 --> 1:43:40.520 restricting they are, even though he had COVID on Thanksgiving, 1:43:42.000 --> 1:43:46.000 Chelly crazy. Needless to say, I am a little perplexed. 1:43:46.600 --> 1:43:51.519 Regardless of his political, religious, and or societal beliefs, we 1:43:51.720 --> 1:43:54.280 have to stay safe. You know, what do you think 1:43:54.479 --> 1:43:57.560 should I give it a try? I'm mostly leaning towards no, 1:43:57.760 --> 1:44:00.120 just because I think that's a perspective issue that I 1:44:00.200 --> 1:44:03.760 can't get passed. And again, I understand beliefs, but to 1:44:03.880 --> 1:44:07.840 be an anti vaxer, I don't know. Girl, God knows 1:44:07.880 --> 1:44:10.880 what could be next, Mimi, help a girl out, Give 1:44:10.960 --> 1:44:13.320 this first date a chance? Or is this a red flag? 1:44:15.040 --> 1:44:19.640 Check this out training? If you went to and or 1:44:19.800 --> 1:44:24.160 through all those precautions to ensure your safety, why would 1:44:24.160 --> 1:44:29.360 you jeopardize it for a free dinner? Okay, because I'm 1:44:29.400 --> 1:44:32.200 almost positive that you can take yourself to dinner, and 1:44:32.320 --> 1:44:35.760 if you can't, go to the grocery store or find 1:44:35.840 --> 1:44:40.080 somebody else who was vaxed that can take you to dinner. Okay, 1:44:41.080 --> 1:44:42.960 at the end of the day, not saying that you 1:44:43.080 --> 1:44:46.200 have to judge people based on their vaccine status, but 1:44:47.200 --> 1:44:50.200 it's about safety. You have to think about yourself, the 1:44:50.320 --> 1:44:53.320 people that you love, the people that you're around, because 1:44:53.400 --> 1:44:56.720 you can still get it right and pass it on 1:44:56.920 --> 1:45:00.240 other people. And I don't know if you have any 1:45:00.280 --> 1:45:03.360 elderly people around you, or people would compromise immune systems 1:45:04.040 --> 1:45:06.559 or underlying health conditions. At the end of the day, 1:45:06.600 --> 1:45:09.360 it's not worth it. I don't really got myself going 1:45:09.400 --> 1:45:10.920 on a date, like I don't think I would go 1:45:11.000 --> 1:45:13.800 out with a dude who's not vaccinated, and actually says 1:45:13.960 --> 1:45:18.040 I am recently back into the dating pool and I 1:45:18.160 --> 1:45:21.160 am on one of the dating apps, and that is 1:45:21.240 --> 1:45:24.559 actually one of the things on your profile. Now. One 1:45:24.600 --> 1:45:26.840 of the things on the profile is whether or not 1:45:26.960 --> 1:45:30.799 you're vaccinated, and you can see that personally, I wouldn't 1:45:30.840 --> 1:45:33.479 do it. If he's a friend of yours, there's nothing 1:45:33.520 --> 1:45:37.200 wrong with being his friend. Another thing that you could do, though, 1:45:37.920 --> 1:45:40.360 is that if you really like them or you want 1:45:40.360 --> 1:45:42.200 to hang out with them. I mean, the only thing 1:45:42.320 --> 1:45:44.400 is that you live in Baltimore and it's the dead 1:45:44.439 --> 1:45:47.480 of winter. I was gonna say you could do something outside, 1:45:48.200 --> 1:45:52.000 but I ain't even gonna lie with this new Omegatron variant, 1:45:52.200 --> 1:45:55.680 like it ain't playing games, it ain't playing fair. It 1:45:55.720 --> 1:45:59.680 ain't like the original the og COVID stream where you 1:45:59.760 --> 1:46:02.760 know you got to be in close contact. This junk 1:46:02.880 --> 1:46:05.439 right here is out of control. So personally, I was 1:46:05.479 --> 1:46:07.439 gonna say, maybe you could go like ice skating or 1:46:07.479 --> 1:46:12.400 go eat somewhere outside, but it's brick cole outside. Anybody 1:46:12.479 --> 1:46:15.880 trying to eat outside? The hell? What the hell? That's 1:46:15.960 --> 1:46:19.080 my new favorite sound on social media. What the hell? 1:46:20.680 --> 1:46:22.760 I don't know? Says I would venture to say no, 1:46:23.200 --> 1:46:27.080 just no. If he gets vaccinated, and I would, I would. 1:46:27.200 --> 1:46:30.320 I'm asking for people's cards at this point. Are you vaccinated? 1:46:31.400 --> 1:46:33.960 Can I see your vaccination card? Because I can't play around. 1:46:34.080 --> 1:46:36.919 I have elderly people in my family, I have asthma, 1:46:37.080 --> 1:46:39.600 I work with kids, I work with elderly people or 1:46:39.640 --> 1:46:42.679 older people, you know, the older people on my staff. 1:46:42.720 --> 1:46:46.559 I'm not playing around, and quite frankly says, I don't 1:46:46.560 --> 1:46:48.479 think you should either. It ain't that serious. And if 1:46:48.520 --> 1:46:50.720 he is your friend, he should understand. And if he 1:46:50.840 --> 1:46:53.160 doesn't kick the Bama to the curb, go out with 1:46:53.200 --> 1:46:55.640 somebody else that got a vaccination and that's that. And 1:46:55.680 --> 1:46:57.720 if he got a problem with him, tell him. I said, 1:46:57.840 --> 1:47:04.360 so why friends in Kim for today's quote fore we 1:47:04.479 --> 1:47:10.200 got to do better is from none other than Queen 1:47:10.320 --> 1:47:15.479 Auntie Maya Angelou. And I was actually very intentional about 1:47:15.520 --> 1:47:19.320 everything that I did for this show, being the first 1:47:19.360 --> 1:47:25.479 show of twenty twenty two, and I wanted to make 1:47:25.479 --> 1:47:28.519 sure that everything that I discussed, everything that I brought up, 1:47:28.600 --> 1:47:32.000 everything that I talked about, everything that I shared with 1:47:32.120 --> 1:47:38.720 you guys was something that really really affected like my 1:47:38.840 --> 1:47:41.960 heart or my spirit in a positive way. And I 1:47:42.040 --> 1:47:44.960 can only hope that me sharing it with you kind 1:47:45.000 --> 1:47:48.400 of like sprinkles. Think of like Michael Jackson and the 1:47:48.520 --> 1:47:50.679 Jackson five and the can You Feel It video where 1:47:50.720 --> 1:47:54.439 they sprinkled the fireworks and glitter all over the earth, 1:47:54.720 --> 1:47:57.280 all over the planet. That's how I look at it. 1:47:57.680 --> 1:48:00.320 That's how I look at me doing this show period. 1:48:01.840 --> 1:48:04.719 If you want me to be really honest, I'm throwing 1:48:04.760 --> 1:48:09.040 my sprinkles and my glitters out hoping that it touches somebody. 1:48:09.120 --> 1:48:14.840 And so this quote by Queen Auntie Maya Angelou is 1:48:14.960 --> 1:48:17.120 one that I want you to really think about, and 1:48:17.320 --> 1:48:21.800 it is something that I want for my life. I 1:48:21.880 --> 1:48:24.240 want to always remember this every day for the next 1:48:24.600 --> 1:48:27.960 well it's January fifteenth, fifteen minus three hundred and sixty 1:48:28.000 --> 1:48:31.400 five or three hundred and fifty. So if you're listening 1:48:31.479 --> 1:48:33.760 on January fifteenth when the show is released, which I 1:48:33.840 --> 1:48:37.080 hope you are, for the next three hundred and fifty days, 1:48:37.800 --> 1:48:40.760 for the entire year, for every day actually for the 1:48:40.800 --> 1:48:43.280 rest of my life. I want to take this into consideration. 1:48:43.320 --> 1:48:47.040 And the quote is I wish that I could do 1:48:47.080 --> 1:48:49.640 it Maya Angelou impersonation, because I would totally do it 1:48:49.800 --> 1:48:56.559 right now, but I will not even try. If one 1:48:56.680 --> 1:49:02.920 is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. 1:49:04.160 --> 1:49:08.559 Let's send in it for a second. If one is lucky, 1:49:09.439 --> 1:49:16.360 a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. Don't 1:49:16.400 --> 1:49:19.559 stop dreaming, friends, and can dream as big as you can. 1:49:20.240 --> 1:49:21.960 Let it be a fantasy. Let it be something that 1:49:22.120 --> 1:49:25.640 you cannot in a million years, that you would not 1:49:25.880 --> 1:49:30.120 ever think that could come true for you. Dream big 1:49:30.640 --> 1:49:32.720 because you deserve it, you are worth it. Just like 1:49:32.840 --> 1:49:35.879 the jam, the conversation that I had with the ladies 1:49:36.439 --> 1:49:41.240 where we talked about gratitude. Not necessarily the drink the poloma, 1:49:41.760 --> 1:49:44.439 but I am very intentional about the fact that that 1:49:44.520 --> 1:49:46.519 poloma has one hundred and eighty calories and I will 1:49:46.560 --> 1:49:48.320 not be drinking it. I'm gonna finish this four pack, 1:49:48.439 --> 1:49:53.560 that's for sure. But the jam, the conversation, and you 1:49:53.680 --> 1:49:59.479 know this quote, I'm very intentional intentionality and intention is 1:50:00.120 --> 1:50:03.400 one of my words for twenty twenty two. Every year, 1:50:03.640 --> 1:50:06.040 my cousin Julia and my aunt and I we think 1:50:06.080 --> 1:50:08.559 of a word that we want to be our focus. 1:50:09.000 --> 1:50:11.560 And it dawned on me that I need to be 1:50:11.640 --> 1:50:15.400 more intentional about how I choose my word, because God 1:50:15.479 --> 1:50:18.320 gonna give you just what you ask for. The universe 1:50:18.439 --> 1:50:20.560 is gonna give you exactly what you ask for. What 1:50:20.760 --> 1:50:23.240 you say you want, It's going to give it to you. Now, 1:50:23.320 --> 1:50:26.640 whether it how it's deciphered or how it's received is 1:50:26.680 --> 1:50:30.519 a different story, but asking you shall receive, so it 1:50:30.680 --> 1:50:33.960 being intentional intentionality, It's one of my words. The other 1:50:34.040 --> 1:50:37.599 two I will save for myself or for another episode. 1:50:37.680 --> 1:50:41.160 But I want you to dream big because I'm dreaming 1:50:41.200 --> 1:50:44.760 big in twenty twenty two. I am being very intentional 1:50:44.840 --> 1:50:47.679 about my dreams, my thoughts, the things that I want 1:50:47.720 --> 1:50:50.400 for myself, the things that I want for the people 1:50:50.439 --> 1:50:52.080 around me, the things that I want for the people 1:50:52.160 --> 1:50:55.800 that I love. I am intentional about those things. And 1:50:56.280 --> 1:51:01.200 as Queen Auntie Maya Angelus said, one more time for 1:51:01.360 --> 1:51:05.479 the people in the back, if one is lucky, a 1:51:05.720 --> 1:51:18.000 solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. All right, friends, 1:51:18.040 --> 1:51:20.920 and ken first and foremost, ain't nothing changed but the 1:51:20.960 --> 1:51:24.240 weather and the numbers on the year. Okay. I want to, 1:51:24.400 --> 1:51:27.280 of course thank God first, because as we know, God 1:51:27.360 --> 1:51:34.280 is supreme, and I truly recognize, appreciate, and understand that 1:51:34.520 --> 1:51:38.800 I am blessed for the grace that God extends to 1:51:38.960 --> 1:51:41.800 my black ass every single day of my life. I 1:51:41.880 --> 1:51:45.360 am grateful for me, for Mimi. Mimi is grateful for Mimi, 1:51:46.200 --> 1:51:48.120 for all the hard work that I put in, for 1:51:48.240 --> 1:51:52.360 being consistent, for being determined, and for dreaming big, and 1:51:52.680 --> 1:51:55.799 for not being bound by my own limitations and fears. 1:51:56.439 --> 1:52:01.200 I'm showing gratitude for me. Showing gratitude for oneself is 1:52:01.200 --> 1:52:03.840 a form of self care, and we all know that 1:52:04.040 --> 1:52:08.400 here at hand me my purse, we are staunch advocates 1:52:08.479 --> 1:52:11.679 for self care. I am thankful for my family, my friends, 1:52:11.800 --> 1:52:15.000 my friends and ken you guys, my supporters, and of course, 1:52:15.200 --> 1:52:18.280 most importantly, every single one of you out there that 1:52:18.520 --> 1:52:21.280 is listening to this show. I love and appreciate you 1:52:21.400 --> 1:52:24.240 guys so much, and it is nothing short of an 1:52:24.320 --> 1:52:27.439 honor to share my time and my energy with you 1:52:28.080 --> 1:52:30.759 every single time that we get to do this, especially 1:52:31.040 --> 1:52:33.040 if you continue to come back and spend your time 1:52:33.120 --> 1:52:35.960 with me, because I recognize you ain't got to do this, 1:52:36.120 --> 1:52:38.040 you ain't got to listen to this show, but you 1:52:38.200 --> 1:52:40.840 do it. And because you do it, and I appreciate you, 1:52:40.920 --> 1:52:43.760 and I am grateful. I look forward to the next 1:52:43.800 --> 1:52:46.200 time that we get to do this, and that will 1:52:46.280 --> 1:52:50.400 be on February, the first I know dominate the Year 1:52:50.439 --> 1:52:55.960 of our Lord, twenty twenty two. And before you go, 1:52:56.360 --> 1:52:57.920 I want you to hold on for a second, and 1:52:58.000 --> 1:52:59.840 before you hit that X or x it out of 1:53:00.320 --> 1:53:02.519 whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this, I 1:53:02.600 --> 1:53:04.360 want you to stop what you're doing, and if you 1:53:04.479 --> 1:53:07.400 haven't already done, so look for the subscribe or follow 1:53:07.479 --> 1:53:10.160 button and click on it if that is an option 1:53:10.240 --> 1:53:12.960 on the streaming services where you are listening. I want 1:53:13.000 --> 1:53:16.200 you to get on over to Instagram and follow me 1:53:16.439 --> 1:53:20.080 at hand Me My Purse Underscore Podcasts, and you can 1:53:20.120 --> 1:53:25.320 also follow me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore Podcasts and 1:53:25.479 --> 1:53:28.559 on Facebook just search Handing My Purse podcast. I've been 1:53:28.560 --> 1:53:31.400 a lot more active on Twitter since the Christmas break. 1:53:31.560 --> 1:53:33.920 During winter break, I was a lot more active. So 1:53:34.040 --> 1:53:36.080 I'm gonna try to keep the momentum up and stay 1:53:36.120 --> 1:53:40.400 on Twitter and you know, keep this party going. If 1:53:40.479 --> 1:53:43.360 you listen on Apple Podcasts, Stitch your Pandora, or any 1:53:43.400 --> 1:53:46.439 other medium that allows you to do so, please take 1:53:46.520 --> 1:53:48.160 the time out to rate the show or give it 1:53:48.200 --> 1:53:50.560 a thumbs up. Be sure to share hand Me my 1:53:50.640 --> 1:53:53.000 Purse with your friends, loved ones, and even people you 1:53:53.080 --> 1:53:55.120 don't like, because the best way for people to find 1:53:55.160 --> 1:53:57.760 out about the show is by you, guys telling them 1:53:57.800 --> 1:54:00.360 all about it. So tell a friend to tell to 1:54:00.479 --> 1:54:04.439 what tell a friend? Also, friends and ken take a 1:54:04.520 --> 1:54:07.639 few minutes please to just leave a review of the show, 1:54:08.040 --> 1:54:11.120 like sometimes I'll hear from you guys and I'm totally 1:54:11.240 --> 1:54:15.240 shocked that people listen to it. I mean, like, I know, 1:54:15.520 --> 1:54:17.280 you know, I look at my own download number, so 1:54:17.360 --> 1:54:20.800 I know somebody is listening. People are listening all over 1:54:20.880 --> 1:54:24.800 the world. Big shout out to Germany because twenty twenty 1:54:24.840 --> 1:54:28.320 one Germany was tuned in, Saint Croix in the Virgin 1:54:28.400 --> 1:54:32.920 Islands was tuned in. It's probably you, saida I believe 1:54:33.000 --> 1:54:35.480 that it is, but maybe you told a friend to 1:54:35.560 --> 1:54:37.560 tell a friend, and maybe it's somebody else. I don't know. 1:54:39.440 --> 1:54:45.160 Saint Croix, the Bahamas all the time, Australia, Germany, Canada 1:54:45.400 --> 1:54:48.720 all the time shows hand me my purse love. Shout 1:54:48.760 --> 1:54:51.280 out to you, Jabari and somebody else. It's not just you, 1:54:51.600 --> 1:54:53.680 but somebody else is listening. But shout out to you. 1:54:56.400 --> 1:54:59.000 Shout out to Germany. I don't know a Brazil. I 1:54:59.040 --> 1:55:02.080 don't know who's listening in Germany, but shout out to you. 1:55:02.560 --> 1:55:04.200 Reach out to me. I want to know who you 1:55:04.280 --> 1:55:07.960 are in Germany, in Frankfurt that is consistently listening to 1:55:08.080 --> 1:55:10.480 the show. I appreciate it, and it may not. I 1:55:10.520 --> 1:55:14.320 don't think it's just one person, because just based on 1:55:14.400 --> 1:55:17.240 the numbers, it's not. But reach out please, I want 1:55:17.240 --> 1:55:21.360 to know who you are. Please anyway, take a few 1:55:21.400 --> 1:55:24.040 minutes to leave a review for the show. Send me 1:55:24.080 --> 1:55:26.080 a DM on Instagram. If you don't want to leave 1:55:26.120 --> 1:55:28.920 it on Apple Podcasts, send me a DM on Twitter, 1:55:29.040 --> 1:55:32.320 comment under a Facebook post, even if it's your friend 1:55:32.440 --> 1:55:34.760 or loved one of mine. Leave it on my personal 1:55:34.840 --> 1:55:38.080 Facebook page. Send me a DM on Facebook, or take 1:55:38.120 --> 1:55:41.080 the traditional route and leave an actual formal review on 1:55:41.480 --> 1:55:46.200 Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. I would truly appreciate it because 1:55:46.400 --> 1:55:49.080 hearing from you really warms my heart and it makes 1:55:49.120 --> 1:55:50.840 me smile, and it makes me feel good about the 1:55:50.880 --> 1:55:53.880 work that I'm doing. It is kind of like fuel 1:55:53.960 --> 1:55:58.480 to keep this car, this train, this machine going. So 1:55:58.640 --> 1:56:00.720 remember subscribe and or fall of the show so that 1:56:00.800 --> 1:56:02.720 you're the first to know when I drop a new episode, 1:56:03.280 --> 1:56:06.080 which is the first and fifteenth of every month. Follow 1:56:06.120 --> 1:56:08.480 hand me my Purse on social media, rate and review 1:56:08.520 --> 1:56:10.520 the show, and tell your friends and your ken about 1:56:10.520 --> 1:56:13.480 the show. Show notes are always available at hand me 1:56:13.560 --> 1:56:16.920 my Purse dot busprout dot com, and I highly suggest 1:56:16.960 --> 1:56:19.080 that you get into the habit of reading the show notes. 1:56:19.680 --> 1:56:21.320 They have all the links to the things that I 1:56:21.400 --> 1:56:25.000 talk about in the show. Also just an fyi, the 1:56:25.160 --> 1:56:28.600 opening and closing theme music is provided by none other 1:56:28.640 --> 1:56:32.400 than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Please, friends and can 1:56:32.480 --> 1:56:35.200 submit your questions for the straight fact segment to Hello 1:56:35.720 --> 1:56:38.160 at hand Me My Purse dot com or send me 1:56:38.240 --> 1:56:41.600 a DM on Instagram or Twitter. Who knows your question 1:56:41.720 --> 1:56:43.880 may be the next one featured on an upcoming show. 1:56:44.720 --> 1:56:47.680 And don't you ever forget. You can expect a brand 1:56:47.720 --> 1:56:50.600 new episode of Hand Me My Purse the podcast on 1:56:50.720 --> 1:56:54.240 the first and fifteenth of every single month, so the 1:56:54.320 --> 1:56:56.880 same way you expected those checks on the first and 1:56:56.920 --> 1:57:00.120 the fifteenth early in the morning. You already know your 1:57:00.120 --> 1:57:03.040 girl is gonna have you covered on those days again 1:57:03.120 --> 1:57:06.280 the first and fifteenth of every month on your podcast 1:57:06.320 --> 1:57:13.160 streaming services such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. These are 1:57:13.200 --> 1:57:16.400 for my international friends and can and anywhere else you 1:57:16.640 --> 1:57:19.280 may even think that you can find it, or you 1:57:19.360 --> 1:57:22.440 can just go straight to my bus Sproute website and 1:57:22.640 --> 1:57:25.840 find it there. I look forward to you, looking forward 1:57:25.880 --> 1:57:27.920 to listening and on my list