Speaker 1: Tell me I can't see Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome
Speaker 1: to hand me my purse the podcast. I am Mimi Walker,
Speaker 1: and I will be your forever host, each and every
Speaker 1: single time you tune into this podcast. So go ahead
Speaker 1: and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass of your favorite beverage,
Speaker 1: whether that's alkaline water, red kool aid, a high cup
Speaker 1: of tea with honey, a glass of Cabernet, Sauvignon or Hennessy,
Speaker 1: and light yourself a candle, some incense, or burn some
Speaker 1: sage and just get ready to chill out and have
Speaker 1: a good time. What's up, what's up? What's up? Friends
Speaker 1: and kin? Happy New Year, Happy two twenty two. Boom
Speaker 1: ma'am oh bow. The new year is well underway. By
Speaker 1: the time you hear this, if you listen to it
Speaker 1: on the day that it is released, or at least
Speaker 1: the week that it's released, we are well into the
Speaker 1: new year. We're halfway through the first month of the
Speaker 1: new year, which is kind of crazy to say, because
Speaker 1: it seemed like New Year's Eve was just yesterday, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't. Happy New Year, my friends and kin, we're here.
Speaker 1: It's twenty twenty two. Let's thank God or the universe
Speaker 1: or the head of cabbage or the eucalyptus leaf, whatever
Speaker 1: it is you give praise to. Let's give thanks for
Speaker 1: seeing another year. Twenty twenty only twenty one. They were
Speaker 1: interesting years, and now we're on to twenty twenty two.
Speaker 1: And all we can do is keep it moving, right,
Speaker 1: don't need to dwell in the past, and you know,
Speaker 1: sit and sulk. Let's just keep it moving because life
Speaker 1: is always happening. So it's none other than your resident
Speaker 1: Anti Supreme here and hand me my purse, Mimi Walker.
Speaker 1: And today I am sipping on a new canned cocktail
Speaker 1: that I found, and it is a poloma by a
Speaker 1: brand called Kazadores. And a poloma look it up. I'm
Speaker 1: not telling you what a poloma is. Just look it up.
Speaker 1: But it's grapefruit, its tequila, it's seltzer. It's delicious, and
Speaker 1: it's really good. And it was almost impossible for me
Speaker 1: to find the damn nutrition facts on this cocktail. But
Speaker 1: if I'm not mistaken, I think it's about one hundred
Speaker 1: and eighty calories. And for the kid, that's a bit
Speaker 1: too much for canned cocktail for me, so needless to say.
Speaker 1: As much as I enjoyed this one, it's a note
Speaker 1: for me, dog I prefer personally to keep my canned
Speaker 1: cocktails at about one hundred and twenty five calories or less. However,
Speaker 1: let me tell you, if you are not focused on
Speaker 1: caloric tracking, try it. Even if you are focused on
Speaker 1: caloric tracking, try it anyway. It's okay to try it.
Speaker 1: Give yourself some grace. Moderation is the key. It is
Speaker 1: really really really good though, And just to be very clear,
Speaker 1: the shit is delicious, like I said, but usually the
Speaker 1: more calories that usually means the more deliciousness that you're
Speaker 1: going to have. It's really really good. It's a little sweet,
Speaker 1: which I should have known that. You know, when I
Speaker 1: drink can cocktails, I'm not expecting a whole lot of sweetness,
Speaker 1: and it is a little sweet. But it's really really
Speaker 1: really good, So try it out. Casadores Paloma they also make,
Speaker 1: if I'm not mistaken, a classic margharita and a Rustic
Speaker 1: spicy Margharita. I know that the Rustic Spicy margharita is
Speaker 1: one hundred and seventy five calories, so I think that
Speaker 1: I'm done. You know, I'm I'm gonna go ahead back
Speaker 1: to my truly or my deep Eddie canned cocktails, because
Speaker 1: they're like one hundred calories a piece or one twenty five.
Speaker 1: But this jump was real good. So if you ain't
Speaker 1: worried about calories, trust me, try it. Now. Let's go
Speaker 1: ahead and get this party started. So friends and ken
Speaker 1: for today's jam. Initially, I had another song selected and
Speaker 1: I'm going to give it honorable mention and I'll probably
Speaker 1: even link it in the show notes because I listened
Speaker 1: to this song about thirty times the other night and
Speaker 1: it just made me think about high school. As most
Speaker 1: of you know from listening to the show. I went
Speaker 1: to high school in California and I have a very
Speaker 1: you know, eclectic taste in music. And there was a
Speaker 1: song that of my classmates hipped me to. It was
Speaker 1: a song called come On Eileen, and it's the original
Speaker 1: version like it's old, it's old, and if I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 1: it's an old SKA song. If you don't know what
Speaker 1: sky is, look it up Ska. And there was a
Speaker 1: band in the band's name was Save Ferris like Ferris Bueller,
Speaker 1: Ferris Wheel. And I love the version by say Ferris
Speaker 1: like I love it. I love to sing it one day.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll sing it in a karaoke jammy jam like
Speaker 1: a Karrie at a karaoke bar or something. But I
Speaker 1: really liked the song a lot, and so that was
Speaker 1: gonna be the song. But I am a fan of
Speaker 1: this artist. Her name is Amber Mark, and she has
Speaker 1: a lot of songs that I like. I love her
Speaker 1: voice is very infectious. I am actually a fan of
Speaker 1: someone who has a voice that is easily identifiable, like
Speaker 1: a voice that doesn't sound like someone else's, and her
Speaker 1: voice is like that to me. And she has a
Speaker 1: song that was released. I don't know if it's old
Speaker 1: or it's new, but the title of the song is
Speaker 1: worth It, and that is the gym for this episode.
Speaker 1: The reason that I decided to choose this song versus
Speaker 1: the safe fair song is because when I heard it,
Speaker 1: I am a creative Okay, So when things are animal libra,
Speaker 1: So when things look, when I see beauty, when I
Speaker 1: hear beauty, when I taste something that is pleasingto my senses,
Speaker 1: or I touch something that feels really soft or really abrasive,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm really tuned into my senses. Like it
Speaker 1: kind of like takes over me. And when I heard
Speaker 1: this song, I ended up listening to this song on
Speaker 1: repeat about fifteen to twenty times as well. When I
Speaker 1: heard it and I started to listen to the lyrics,
Speaker 1: and I said, what a great song to start the
Speaker 1: new year off in terms of on my show, What
Speaker 1: a great energy, what a great message to put out
Speaker 1: for the first episode of twenty twenty two. And so
Speaker 1: the jam, like I said, is by Ambermark. It is
Speaker 1: called worth It and let me share the lyrics with you,
Speaker 1: or just a little smidge of the lyrics, of course,
Speaker 1: and the show notes you will find a link to
Speaker 1: the song so that you can listen to it yourself.
Speaker 1: And I'm also going to put a link to the
Speaker 1: safe Ferris Come on Eileen song as well, because you
Speaker 1: deserve to listen to that too. Easier said than done
Speaker 1: trying to be the one. It's so hard to not
Speaker 1: be hard on yourself. How do they all believe? I
Speaker 1: can't even see the belief that I had way back then.
Speaker 1: I know that you get so used to it, always
Speaker 1: living in regret. Your dreams never left your head. But
Speaker 1: when you talk to me, I can see the light
Speaker 1: shining so bright that it is blinding. Just let it out. Oh,
Speaker 1: I know you feel it, that automatic shift in your spine, darkness.
Speaker 1: You have seen it heavy on the heart. Look to
Speaker 1: the light or release the feeling. It'll send you out
Speaker 1: to space. Nothing like your happiness. Oh, open up the ceiling.
Speaker 1: You think you don't deserve it, but you are so
Speaker 1: damn worth it. Baby, you think you don't deserve it,
Speaker 1: but you are so damn worth it. You think you
Speaker 1: don't deserve it, but you are so worth it. We've
Speaker 1: all got that feeling. I can see you hurting. You
Speaker 1: don't think you deserve it, but baby, you are worth it.
Speaker 1: Just open up the ceiling. Come on, let the love in,
Speaker 1: because baby, you are worth it. Now let's get into
Speaker 1: the show, friends, and can before we get into this
Speaker 1: discussion with the amazing young ladies that I talked to today,
Speaker 1: I just want to say happy New Year. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for you guys, and I hope and pray that your
Speaker 1: year has started off on the good foot. And if
Speaker 1: by chance it did not, just remember that your thoughts
Speaker 1: and your words are much more powerful than you could
Speaker 1: ever imagine. So think positive thoughts even in times of despair,
Speaker 1: even when things look real shitty, think positively, find a
Speaker 1: way to turn the narrative around, and all that requires
Speaker 1: is just to shift the way that you think. Let
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two be an amazing year for us all.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see what twenty twenty two brings.
Speaker 1: I love you all, and let's go ahead and get
Speaker 1: into this conversation about the Gratitude challenge that we did
Speaker 1: in November and December, friends and Ken. I am here
Speaker 1: today with you guys to share with you some of
Speaker 1: my friends and Ken that actually participated in the Atitude
Speaker 1: challenge that we had last year. It sounds weird saying
Speaker 1: last year because it's only not even two weeks into
Speaker 1: the new year. But the Gratitude Challenge that we did
Speaker 1: from November eleventh, which was eleven eleven until twelve to
Speaker 1: twenty five, which was forty four days, that's a long
Speaker 1: time to be grateful. But we really should be grateful
Speaker 1: every day. And so some of these ladies I know.
Speaker 1: Some of them I know because they listen to the show.
Speaker 1: Some of them I know because I know them in person.
Speaker 1: And one is like a total nubie. I don't know
Speaker 1: her at all, but I know her now and I'm
Speaker 1: excited about it. It's going to be not a big
Speaker 1: conversation because usually when I have group conversations, just like
Speaker 1: twenty five people on but today it's just five of us,
Speaker 1: and I like that because it offers the opportunity for
Speaker 1: us to have a much more intimate conversation and a
Speaker 1: much more authentic conversation. So I want you, ladies to
Speaker 1: go around and introduce yourselves. I want you to however
Speaker 1: you see fit to introduce yourself. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: put those parameters on you and tell you I want
Speaker 1: your name, your age, and your favorite ice cream. Nope.
Speaker 1: Just however you choose to introduce yourself, go for it.
Speaker 1: But I would like for you to tell me what
Speaker 1: you are drinking, and I will share what I'm drinking.
Speaker 1: Or does anyone else want to start? I can start? Okay,
Speaker 1: go for it. I knew it was gonna be you.
Speaker 1: So my name is Essence Nelson and okay, what's the
Speaker 1: government name? Says? Well, you know, I'm not sure of
Speaker 1: what my name really is. But that is not today's topic.
Speaker 1: We'll go into that. Um. All right, when women marry
Speaker 1: and their whole identity changes, all right, that's another topic. Well,
Speaker 1: clearly you just made it one. It's a topic. Um
Speaker 1: so yeah, so that is who I am. And tonight
Speaker 1: I am drinking my favorite wine. It's a Saint Michael's
Speaker 1: golly Wobbler. My favorite vine is run that back chief
Speaker 1: Saint Michael's golly wa blur, Yes, what does that mean? Like?
Speaker 1: What kind of wine is it? For us? Who don't?
Speaker 1: Who wants to go next? Um? I'll go. My name
Speaker 1: is Angel, I'm an Ubi. Hi Angel, welcome, Thank you.
Speaker 1: I actually I found out about your podcast through my
Speaker 1: best friend Tess. Oh yes, best friend, God bless your child.
Speaker 1: Conversation for another day. I'm her best friend, and she
Speaker 1: told me about the Gratitude Challenge and I came in
Speaker 1: it on the latter end of it, but I was
Speaker 1: able to participate from December first through the twenty five awesome. Awesome, awesome.
Speaker 1: So tell me what you're drinking, so don't be disappointed
Speaker 1: in me. But I'm drinking water. That is not a disappointment.
Speaker 1: That means that you care about your skin, your liver,
Speaker 1: your kidneys, your blood. Well, you know, I am taking
Speaker 1: a couple of days to take it easy. Now, normally
Speaker 1: I would probably have a glass of wine or I
Speaker 1: would probably have crown or some type of with dear bourbon,
Speaker 1: i'd be drinking something. But I'm drinking and that is
Speaker 1: good Tomorrow. It's totally okay. I don't judge over here,
Speaker 1: like sometimes I don't. I don't drink alcohol every show either,
Speaker 1: like I don't. I don't. Sometimes I drink water with lemon,
Speaker 1: sometimes I drink jasmine green tea, and then sometimes I
Speaker 1: drink shots of tequila. So it really just depends on
Speaker 1: how I feel what kind of tequila. I'm not really picky,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not one of those people who are like,
Speaker 1: I don't drink that because it doesn't go down smooth.
Speaker 1: I don't really care. Alcohol is disgusting realistically, Like it's
Speaker 1: not delicious until somebody, like somebody else who's on this show,
Speaker 1: who I think should go last, until that person puts
Speaker 1: their sparkles on it. Realistically, like pure alcohol is not
Speaker 1: tasty if people don't drink it, it's perfectly fine, because
Speaker 1: it's not that awesome to taste unless you add a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of crap to it. The tequila that I
Speaker 1: have in my kitchen now is from Costco, and I
Speaker 1: say it with pride and I don't care who doesn't
Speaker 1: like it. It actually is pretty smooth. It's not um,
Speaker 1: it doesn't taste like grain alcohol, and it's pretty smooth.
Speaker 1: I was actually surprised. Somebody brought it to me one
Speaker 1: day in a very large bottle and I was like,
Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do with this? And I said,
Speaker 1: I'll just keep it here for when people come. But
Speaker 1: it makes damn good margueritas, I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know Costco sol tequila. I think it's Cosla. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Costco Costco has alcohol and it's pretty good. So that
Speaker 1: is the kind of tequila that I am drinking now.
Speaker 1: But typically I would have Querbo. I'm a fan of
Speaker 1: Quervo silver. I need you to get into some Espolone blanco. Okay,
Speaker 1: well you can introduce me to change it. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but yeah, drink tequila often. Well you sound it sounds
Speaker 1: like you're a dark girl. Like you like dark one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what being older is about. Knowing your body and
Speaker 1: honoring your body even when you may not be making
Speaker 1: the best choices for your body. And hard, Okay, it
Speaker 1: is hard. Wow? Okay, all right, well then there's that
Speaker 1: next go next. Okay, I'm Fatima and I'm drinking water.
Speaker 1: I'm also drinking water. I actually don't drink alcohol, never
Speaker 1: drank alcohol before in my life. God bless you you are.
Speaker 1: You are a saint and someone that you're no wait
Speaker 1: a minute now, say you were an angel I said
Speaker 1: you were a saint for not drinking. That is amazing
Speaker 1: and that is great. Yeah, it's a really, it's a
Speaker 1: religious for religious purposes. So okay, I'm Muslim, so never
Speaker 1: drank alcohol before. That's yes, it is. I'll be knowing.
Speaker 1: I'll be knowing. Yes. I only know what I know
Speaker 1: because of Angelica. And that's how I found your podcast
Speaker 1: actually randomly and alive and I just clicked it, and
Speaker 1: you guys who were just having such a great time.
Speaker 1: I was like, who is this lady? And then there
Speaker 1: she said that you have a podcast, said she has
Speaker 1: a podcast. I must listen, and I was ever since
Speaker 1: and yeah, Angelica is my boom. Angelica and I have
Speaker 1: been friends for a long long She's like my big sister.
Speaker 1: She is my big sister. I love her to pieces. Angelica.
Speaker 1: I talk about her all the time on the show.
Speaker 1: Her name is the Village. The Village Auntie on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Please go find her and let her life be changed.
Speaker 1: I am blessed to know her in real life. And
Speaker 1: last but not least, I mean I'll go last, but
Speaker 1: last but not least, the one and only, the returner,
Speaker 1: the tenured professor. Here, stop on me my purse. I'm
Speaker 1: Gina and I'm the concoctress behind in the bedroom bartender
Speaker 1: and so what we can talk about more that later.
Speaker 1: But I really just bring cocktails to life. I create
Speaker 1: custom recipes, Breman's life and getting candle forms. You can
Speaker 1: sort of bathe in the ambiance of the drink if
Speaker 1: you don't want to drink. I also have back salt
Speaker 1: and somebody scrupts. You still want to have the experience
Speaker 1: of smelling or being resolved in a cocktail without actually drinking.
Speaker 1: And tonight I am enjoying some muld wine. I did
Speaker 1: a muld cherry wine with cinnamon, clove, little dehydrated orange,
Speaker 1: and then I added like a spicy rum caramel simple
Speaker 1: syrup to it to sweeten it, and then topped it
Speaker 1: off with a shot aheadsea. So listen, my name is
Speaker 1: Mimi and I'm a Libra and this is my show,
Speaker 1: and I'm on zoom with these ladies. And I realized
Speaker 1: that my bedroom is really because I'm in my bedroom
Speaker 1: right now because I didn't want to take it to
Speaker 1: the living room. And it's not really zoom friendly. But
Speaker 1: it's okay. And I am drinking on whatever Gina just said. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm drinking on mulled wine. And it is a cherry wine.
Speaker 1: Let's see if I was listening so cherry wine that
Speaker 1: I heat it up. I don't have a microwave because
Speaker 1: the aliens are trying to steal our souls through microwaves.
Speaker 1: I don't have a microwave, so I heat it up
Speaker 1: on the stove. Um, it's a cherry wine. And um,
Speaker 1: all of the other things that she said. And if
Speaker 1: you're curious about what it was, just rewind it and listen,
Speaker 1: because all I remember was cherry wine, hennessy. But I
Speaker 1: don't have hennessy, right, I have apple brandy. I have apple.
Speaker 1: Is this a Crown Apple? No, it's apple Jack Layard.
Speaker 1: I knew it was some fancy shit like it could
Speaker 1: never be, like Hennessy is the most basic thing that
Speaker 1: she drinks. I'm surprised because you're a black, that's why,
Speaker 1: because and Black people love Hennessy. That's why, because you're
Speaker 1: a black, change the stigma associated with quest. I have
Speaker 1: apple brandy. I'm like, is it Crown Apple so I
Speaker 1: can be real black? Clearly? No, it's by Jean de
Speaker 1: la France of the Provence in the south of France.
Speaker 1: The tip of nice. Like, I don't even know what
Speaker 1: you just said, but it is good. I've never had
Speaker 1: I have, no, I have it. I don't know. Um
Speaker 1: hot wine, it's very delicious. What is Can you tell
Speaker 1: me more about this cherry wine? What is it? No?
Speaker 1: You can't. Okay, she doesn't know. She can tell me
Speaker 1: about it later because I would like to buy some
Speaker 1: cherry wine in the market. Yeah. So it's just a
Speaker 1: it's a more tart cherry wine. And so that's why
Speaker 1: I added the delicious spicy caramel syrup to it, so
Speaker 1: kind of sweeten. And I had a cinnamon stick, some
Speaker 1: dehydrated oranges and clothes like y. Yeah, look, I see
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. And you had some kind of
Speaker 1: simple syrup stuff with little bits and pieces in it that. Yes, listen,
Speaker 1: it's very good. Thank you. I have to say, guys,
Speaker 1: get a friend that's a bartender that makes custom, fancy,
Speaker 1: luxurious cocktails. It has changed my life. In the time
Speaker 1: that I've known her. She had me drinking Gin and
Speaker 1: I think Gin is disgusting. I've said it on this
Speaker 1: show before. I had a Gin cocktail that she made
Speaker 1: and it changed my life. So enough about drinks. Like
Speaker 1: I said, I'm Meani and I'm here with my friends
Speaker 1: and Ken today and we're going to talk about the
Speaker 1: gratitude challenge I decided, and you can refer back to
Speaker 1: episode thirty five. I think it's entitled like Scottsdale Owes
Speaker 1: Me Nothing or something like that, where I talk about
Speaker 1: when I went to Scottsdale for this podcasting conference and
Speaker 1: I got to see my little brothers in California because
Speaker 1: I went from Phoenix to LA for about fifteen hours,
Speaker 1: and when I got back, I was just so full
Speaker 1: of joying gratitude that I was like, I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do with like this feeling, and so I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna do a gratitude challenge. Now. The
Speaker 1: funny thing is that apparently November is like National Gratitude
Speaker 1: Month or something. There's always a fucking month for everything,
Speaker 1: like it's national toenail clipping months, and it's national don't
Speaker 1: wear a broader work month. What it's gratitude months. Personally,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like Black History Month. Every month should
Speaker 1: be Gratitude month. Every month should be Black History month.
Speaker 1: Every month should be gratitude months. But it was a thing,
Speaker 1: and I didn't know, but I said that I wanted
Speaker 1: to have a challenge, and I wanted to do a
Speaker 1: challenge for myself to like kind of track or to
Speaker 1: document everything that I'm grateful for over a period of time.
Speaker 1: The number forty four just popped out of nowhere. Forty
Speaker 1: four days. It started on eleven eleven, which to me,
Speaker 1: if you've been listening to the show, you know, I
Speaker 1: like a lot of like weird stuff. And for forty
Speaker 1: four days, from the November eleventh to December twenty fifth,
Speaker 1: the challenge was to do the challenge, excuse me, was
Speaker 1: to document five to ten things that you were grateful for.
Speaker 1: I opened it up and I shared it with people,
Speaker 1: and even if people didn't finish the challenge, or only
Speaker 1: did the challenge for two weeks, or you know, after
Speaker 1: a week, they fell off. I really wanted to create
Speaker 1: a universal energy. Not that my podcast is universal, but
Speaker 1: it is because it is listening to in many countries
Speaker 1: all across the globe. Don't ever get it twisted. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to create an energy where like people were
Speaker 1: being intentional about gratitude, and so some people were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, and oh it's a good idea.
Speaker 1: And these ladies did it and we talked about it
Speaker 1: a little bit after and I was like, would you
Speaker 1: mind being on the show, and they were like no.
Speaker 1: I knew I didn't want to have a lot of
Speaker 1: people on because sometimes that can be a bit overwhelming.
Speaker 1: It's literally like a party, like a house party. I
Speaker 1: knew I wanted it to be an intimate conversation just
Speaker 1: talking about like what was the experience, Like, I'll go first.
Speaker 1: One thing that I noticed well the very first day,
Speaker 1: I found that I personally had a hard time thinking
Speaker 1: of five to ten things that I was grateful for.
Speaker 1: And what that told me was like, you need to
Speaker 1: be a little more thoughtful about like being grateful, because
Speaker 1: it should not be difficult to think about five to
Speaker 1: ten things that you're grateful for. It also told me
Speaker 1: that I was overthinking it because you can be thankful
Speaker 1: for being able to walk, you can be thankful for
Speaker 1: having running water, for having hot water, for having heat,
Speaker 1: for having a cell phone, you know. And so that
Speaker 1: was my experience the first day. And then within the week,
Speaker 1: I think I noticed that I was a lot more
Speaker 1: cute in to other people complaining a lot and like
Speaker 1: it made me irritable. Oh yeah, it made me really irritable. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that had might have had a
Speaker 1: little something to do with, like my hormones, because my
Speaker 1: hormones be all over the place. But I noticed, like
Speaker 1: how much people complained about things for, you know, no
Speaker 1: apparent reason, Like what are you complaining for when you
Speaker 1: can breathe, especially in the middle of a panorama where
Speaker 1: you know people are passing away and they can't be
Speaker 1: with their families and you know all these things are happening,
Speaker 1: You're complaining that Starbucks ran out of butter croissants, Like,
Speaker 1: are you kidding me right now? And so I noticed
Speaker 1: that I did for the most part, I did the
Speaker 1: whole forty four days. I think I might have skipped
Speaker 1: like one or two days where I just went to
Speaker 1: bed early in the next morning. I didn't remember. On
Speaker 1: some days where I did go to bed the next morning,
Speaker 1: I would do it before I left for work, but
Speaker 1: just the first couple of weeks, and then after the
Speaker 1: first week where I noticed that other people were complaining
Speaker 1: a lot, I noticed when I complained a lot, and
Speaker 1: it was like, girl, get your life together. But I'm
Speaker 1: really glad that I did it, and I want to
Speaker 1: figure out a way to incorporate it into my everyday life.
Speaker 1: Not for a forty four day challenge, but just figure
Speaker 1: out a way to like incorporate it into my life
Speaker 1: a little bit more because I feel like I need
Speaker 1: to be more intentional about focusing on like gratitude because
Speaker 1: I'm highly blessed, right, very, very very Some people call
Speaker 1: it luck. I don't really think that luck is a
Speaker 1: thing because I think that that's not really how God works,
Speaker 1: and I believe in God, so I'm not gonna you know,
Speaker 1: I don't think that it's a luck thing at all.
Speaker 1: I think that God is very intentional. Though. I think
Speaker 1: that if God loves me enough to be intentional about
Speaker 1: me having such a wonderful life, then I need to
Speaker 1: be intentional about being appreciative of my wonderful life. So
Speaker 1: that is a little bit about it. In a nutshell
Speaker 1: of my experience, who else wants to tell me like
Speaker 1: how it was for them, so to be fully transparent.
Speaker 1: I actually dreaded the challenge. I was totally going to
Speaker 1: do it to support you. But all I heard when
Speaker 1: you were like gratitude challenge. We're gonna do this every
Speaker 1: day for forty four days and five to two im
Speaker 1: you share that things a day. Yeah, I was worried
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to mess up right. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to miss a day. I'm like, oh, I got
Speaker 1: to think of these things every day and what happens
Speaker 1: if I forget. It felt very cumbersome initially, because you
Speaker 1: know what, I got Mimi's back. I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, and I kid you not. After
Speaker 1: the first day, I said, like, you know what, just
Speaker 1: write five things, and I started just like letting them
Speaker 1: fly and like not even like trying to be specific,
Speaker 1: and like five things came really quickly, to the point
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, let me stop at five because
Speaker 1: I want to say some things for tomorrow. I don't
Speaker 1: want to run out of things. And I found that
Speaker 1: I actually looked forward to it, and I would wake
Speaker 1: up in the morning and I would grab my gonna
Speaker 1: make me cry all. I told my fiance, like, oh wait, wait,
Speaker 1: I forgot to write in my journal. We do this report,
Speaker 1: and so I kept finding myself looking for it. And
Speaker 1: then initially there were a few days that I had missed.
Speaker 1: I think something happened in the family and I had
Speaker 1: to refocus and just like you know stuff, I'm a caregiver,
Speaker 1: and so I missed a few days back to bad
Speaker 1: before I realized is that I will shoot. And so
Speaker 1: I sat down and I filled in for each of
Speaker 1: those dates, like, well, I'm not going to miss those
Speaker 1: dates and so, and then I gave myself a little leeway.
Speaker 1: The further, I got in a challenge like if you
Speaker 1: miss a day, it's okay, just pick up on the
Speaker 1: day that you're in and keep going for it. And
Speaker 1: it became part of my life, like I started carrying
Speaker 1: my journal with me everywhere I went to make sure
Speaker 1: I didn't forget. And then you shared something about just
Speaker 1: looking back over the types of things you listed, and
Speaker 1: I found a lot of mine. It tells you about
Speaker 1: where my mindset is right now. We're about being grateful
Speaker 1: to be alive, essentially, grateful for my breath, grateful for
Speaker 1: my body, grateful for this, grateful for happy memories, and
Speaker 1: like you know, this holiday season was rough. There was
Speaker 1: a lot of grief for me, but just the things
Speaker 1: and people I celebrate, Like, there was very little materialistic gratitude.
Speaker 1: There were some things about like you know, happy to
Speaker 1: be a financially sound, happy to have access to this,
Speaker 1: or being able to invest or other things, but a
Speaker 1: lot of it was like literally like happy to be
Speaker 1: breathing today, glad for this person in my life and
Speaker 1: what they bring to my life. So I enjoyed it
Speaker 1: and I started to look forward to doing it every
Speaker 1: day and it didn't feel as heavy as I thought
Speaker 1: it would be. I think I just sort of made
Speaker 1: it bigger than it was going to be until I
Speaker 1: actually started doing that. I love that. That made me
Speaker 1: a little I mean, I don't know if it's this
Speaker 1: fucking mold wine you got me drinking over here, but
Speaker 1: I don't really see myself or this show as an
Speaker 1: agent of change or whatever. You know what I'm trying
Speaker 1: to say. I'm a little bit tipsy, But like that
Speaker 1: made me feel like, wait a minute, you might be
Speaker 1: doing something right, girl, because you definitely share you You
Speaker 1: definitely shared with me at the beginning, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to do it. And when you yeah,
Speaker 1: and when you said that, all I heard was oh, Gina,
Speaker 1: come home, like you're perfect just the way you but
Speaker 1: in full transparency. What I heard was, um, like I
Speaker 1: heard some of your stuff right, And I was just like,
Speaker 1: I just hope she sticks with it. But what you
Speaker 1: just share with me, it sounds like something that you
Speaker 1: learned in doing this was um, extending grace to yourself,
Speaker 1: which is very hard. Yeah, yeah, it's okay, like a
Speaker 1: day writing five back to back days of gradual like
Speaker 1: but I did that, Like let me think of five
Speaker 1: things for each day and let me try to remember
Speaker 1: three days ago. What was I thinking? And the I
Speaker 1: was like, no, it's okay, pick up where you are
Speaker 1: and keep moving. Yep, whatever you have, start where you
Speaker 1: are and do your best. Thank you for sharing. Next,
Speaker 1: is it you fi to Mie? Or yeah I'll go this, Okay,
Speaker 1: Yeah I'll go there. Um for me, I really I
Speaker 1: was looking forward to it because I was at a
Speaker 1: point in my life, um, not too long ago. I
Speaker 1: was just like really down, like things were just not
Speaker 1: going the way that I wanted to go. Life didn't
Speaker 1: look like what I thought it was gonna look like,
Speaker 1: and I was just finding it very hard to accept that,
Speaker 1: and just I just did not like where life was
Speaker 1: for me based on what I what I thought it
Speaker 1: was gonna be, you know. So I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, let me do this. And I even told Jackson,
Speaker 1: maybe this will kind of change like how I how
Speaker 1: I look at my life in general, you know. So
Speaker 1: second like basically second day, I was already like, Wow,
Speaker 1: look at this, look at everything that you have. And
Speaker 1: for me also, it was more my family. My family
Speaker 1: just keep coming up because they're just I'm so thankful
Speaker 1: for them, like every my cousin, my cousins, my mom, sister.
Speaker 1: It was just constantly I was just like, Wow, I'm
Speaker 1: surrounded by by really amazing people. And plus for you,
Speaker 1: just like for you my home, which just like I have,
Speaker 1: I'm safe. I kept reminding myself, I'm in a safe place.
Speaker 1: I'm happy about that, I'm happy about my family. So
Speaker 1: that was really a constant thing for me when it
Speaker 1: comes to the gratitude challenge, and I think that that
Speaker 1: really it helped me a lot going into this year. Okay,
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, I really did not do
Speaker 1: any vision board. I used to be really big on
Speaker 1: vision boards and I just kind of let go of that,
Speaker 1: and this year getting into it, I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: you know what, I want to do a vision board.
Speaker 1: I want to like, I want to I want to
Speaker 1: actually have something to look forward to again, because I
Speaker 1: really wasn't having like anything to look forward to them
Speaker 1: just like you know what. And then with COVID, everybody
Speaker 1: I was seeing a lot of you know, just a
Speaker 1: lot of sad people. Everybody was just everybody just was
Speaker 1: talking about how sad they were. And it was kind
Speaker 1: of affect the meal because I'm seeing everybody talking about sadness.
Speaker 1: I literally I was just like, Wow, everybody's sad. I
Speaker 1: guess it's okay for me to be sad too. But
Speaker 1: I just took it a little too far. So I
Speaker 1: was just like, I just didn't I forgot about the
Speaker 1: good things in life. And then as I'm writing down, um,
Speaker 1: I'm from West Africa, so there are simple things that
Speaker 1: I can remember I didn't have back then when I
Speaker 1: was living in Gambia that I have now. And I
Speaker 1: talked to my cousins that are back home also that
Speaker 1: it's okay. God no I was doing laundry one day
Speaker 1: and um, one of my cousins, he's from the village,
Speaker 1: so he I was doing. I was on WhatsApp and
Speaker 1: he was like, what are you doing? And I didn't
Speaker 1: even think I forgot that. Wow, we really don't even
Speaker 1: have Washington like uh Washington dry. Yeah, And I said, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm watching my clothes and he was like, in a machine.
Speaker 1: I was like wow. I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I flipped my camera and should show him literally
Speaker 1: step by step how would go. And then I poured
Speaker 1: the uh you know the liquid uh drying thing. No,
Speaker 1: it was the the fabric softener. Yes, okay, it's dawny
Speaker 1: actually yeah, yes, I poured down it and he was
Speaker 1: and he was like, so the machine knows when to
Speaker 1: release that and that. I was just like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So that also like made me sit. I was. I
Speaker 1: wrote that down real quick. I was like, oh, thankful
Speaker 1: for watching watching watching my clothes, being able to wash
Speaker 1: my clothes and a machine thought about the dishwasher and
Speaker 1: all of that. So for me, it was it just
Speaker 1: came right on time, and I felt that it took
Speaker 1: me out of the depression I was I was facing
Speaker 1: at the time. It just made me feel very I
Speaker 1: I'm getting emotional to just yeah, I'm getting so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just let you know I'm fighting it like I'm
Speaker 1: having a conversation with myself, like yeah, me too. I'm
Speaker 1: a quick prior to it, and when I do, I'm
Speaker 1: a cry baby. Man. Yeah. When when I think about
Speaker 1: you know, like how when you feel sad and you
Speaker 1: think about the moment during the moment, how you felt
Speaker 1: when you were sad, and I think about that moment
Speaker 1: and how I feel right now, I'm just like, wow,
Speaker 1: I really was sad. Yeah, but having that m gratitude challenge,
Speaker 1: I had to sit back and say Fox to what,
Speaker 1: you know, all these things are not going right in
Speaker 1: your life. You know how you expected your life to go.
Speaker 1: It's not going that way. But look at all this
Speaker 1: that you have. I was just like, Okay, I really
Speaker 1: like where I'm So it really did that for me,
Speaker 1: Like it really really And I didn't even finish like
Speaker 1: half of it. I didn't even finish. I didn't finish
Speaker 1: half of it. And for you, like you said, I
Speaker 1: want this also to be part of my life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I think that it's a good reset for me
Speaker 1: because the things that I'm going through. I'm going to
Speaker 1: continue going through it for a while because it's something
Speaker 1: that it's not solved yet, you know, so it'll continuously
Speaker 1: like knock me down a little bit. So I was
Speaker 1: finding it very hard to to like get out of
Speaker 1: whatever I was in. And the gratitude challenge, which I
Speaker 1: never really thought about ever before, it really I felt
Speaker 1: that that's one thing I can kind of find ways
Speaker 1: to kind of reset myself back to with that gratitude challenge.
Speaker 1: So I really really, it really really helped me out
Speaker 1: for me. Man, you'll try to make an og cry
Speaker 1: over you. It's it's tough. I didn't know you were
Speaker 1: from them. Yeah, I was supposed to go there when
Speaker 1: I went to Segale. I went to Senegale and two
Speaker 1: thousand and four and we were supposed to go I
Speaker 1: was there for like a week and we were supposed
Speaker 1: to go to the Gambia for like two or three days.
Speaker 1: But if I'm not to say that, I think I
Speaker 1: heard yourself or I might have told you. Maybe I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't remember a lot of term memory is not good,
Speaker 1: but um, if I'm not mistaken, was there like some
Speaker 1: kind of like civil unrest or there was something going
Speaker 1: on around Yeah, with the president situation. Well, I couldn't
Speaker 1: come because of that, so I just stayed in the car. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should go. It's it's very Oh no, So my
Speaker 1: cousins and I are really thinking, because I went with
Speaker 1: my cousins, we're thinking about doing a twenty year like
Speaker 1: anniversary trip back to see That would be really really nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because a lot has changed. A lot has changed because
Speaker 1: the big you know, the big statue, the bronze statue.
Speaker 1: Then it wasn't there when we went the first time.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, No, and I want to see it. It's beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to see it. Yeah, you should definitely go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the plan. That is amazing. That was such I
Speaker 1: feel like we're at church and like everybody's giving their testimony.
Speaker 1: So I also want to tell you, Gina that I
Speaker 1: keep pulling clothes out of my mouth because I'm drinking them.
Speaker 1: Because of your mother, you can you always can tell
Speaker 1: when I'm tipsy because my eyes look like pools of water.
Speaker 1: They are very shiny and black right now because I'm tipsy.
Speaker 1: Who wants to go next? So so for me, gratitude
Speaker 1: is a big deal, right, because there are so many
Speaker 1: things to appreciate, but we don't focus on that and
Speaker 1: every in general, you know, we don't focus on that
Speaker 1: the way we should. So I'm listening to the podcast
Speaker 1: and i hear the Gratitude Challenge and I'm like, oh, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. And I can't do anything by myself.
Speaker 1: It's not called my friends like, look y'all gonna do
Speaker 1: it too, and they're like yes. So I thought it
Speaker 1: was something really big to share for me. I really
Speaker 1: had to tap in, right. So the first few days
Speaker 1: of the challenge, I was like, oh, materialistic this and
Speaker 1: you know, I think I had posted about like my
Speaker 1: heated seats in my car, like, yes, this is what
Speaker 1: I am thankful for this life. That's real. It's cold.
Speaker 1: We're all on the East Coast. It get cold in
Speaker 1: the morning. When you got to go to work. It
Speaker 1: was nineteen degrees this morning. Yeah, no, trust me. Like
Speaker 1: I it is a high on my gratitude list. But
Speaker 1: what I did was I took a minute, you know,
Speaker 1: to sept within myself and to really dig a little
Speaker 1: bit deeper, right because if it all washed away, what
Speaker 1: do you really have? And I'm super grateful that both
Speaker 1: of my parents are still alive. Like I can actually
Speaker 1: call my parents right now and talk to the morningfu.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna call for they're gonna be on the podcast,
Speaker 1: but I can really call them and talk to them,
Speaker 1: my grandmother, like, you know, it's things like that I
Speaker 1: really tap into. So the challenge really made me focus
Speaker 1: on what I'm grateful for and then what I'm grateful for,
Speaker 1: like on a larger scale, like the real big stuff.
Speaker 1: And what I did was I did share what I
Speaker 1: was grateful for within the challenge. I also told the
Speaker 1: people that how it, you know, how I felt about
Speaker 1: them in my life and the impact they had. So
Speaker 1: one of my cousins, you know, she's nine years older
Speaker 1: than me, and as a child, I always thought she
Speaker 1: was like the bomb. I mean, she had the hairstyle,
Speaker 1: the clothes, she looked amazing. We all have that cousin, right,
Speaker 1: So but I had to let her know, like, you
Speaker 1: are really like that to me. And then what happened
Speaker 1: was in that conversation she expressed to me some of
Speaker 1: her emotional limitations and things that she struggled with. And
Speaker 1: I was and it slapped me in a face because
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here thinking, I look at you like you
Speaker 1: are great and amazing, but you're slowly breaking down inside.
Speaker 1: But in that conversation, I was able to, you know,
Speaker 1: rebuild her a little bit because she was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I really needed to hear that I am these great
Speaker 1: things because right now I feel like I'm struggling. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I had no idea. I was just
Speaker 1: sharing gratitude and who knew, you know, you needed it.
Speaker 1: So the challenge really helped help me and people around
Speaker 1: me in a lot of ways because we were able
Speaker 1: to bring forth, you know, just stuff that you don't
Speaker 1: think about, you know, right, just every what seems to
Speaker 1: be everyday things that you don't focus on. So since
Speaker 1: the challenge has ended, I have allowed myself to continue
Speaker 1: to focus on gratitude. I'm not letting up on that.
Speaker 1: So the other day my husband was getting on my
Speaker 1: nerves and I told him, I was like, you were
Speaker 1: really driving me crazy. But instead of lashing out, I
Speaker 1: just reeled back into focus on the positives, like, you
Speaker 1: know what, maybe he's having a bad day, maybe he's
Speaker 1: having a rough work with you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like things that we don't think about when things roll over.
Speaker 1: So I've been focusing there. And this morning I made
Speaker 1: an appointment to take my car to the dealer to
Speaker 1: get to maintenance. Doun. It was supposed to be a
Speaker 1: little small package and then it ended up being a
Speaker 1: little more than what I anticipated, but I was able
Speaker 1: to pay it, and I was like that that right
Speaker 1: there is what I'm grateful for because I can make
Speaker 1: sure that my car is maintained without having a you know,
Speaker 1: cut costs here or borrow money, veil and can I
Speaker 1: loan you know, something like that. And that was a
Speaker 1: that was a really big deal for me. So I
Speaker 1: appreciate you for even doing the Gratitude challenge because it
Speaker 1: has helped me and my family on another level. Um,
Speaker 1: it also inspired our family happy hour. Oh wow yeah,
Speaker 1: so um I started, you know, I was in my
Speaker 1: feelings doing a challenge and telling my family I love
Speaker 1: them and this is why I love you when you
Speaker 1: bringing you bring And so Christmas one is COVID, which
Speaker 1: is a big deal. Um. I work in the school.
Speaker 1: My cousin worked in the school. My other cousin works
Speaker 1: in the jail. So we're kind of like COVID pubs
Speaker 1: just because of when we work I leave Bill, yes,
Speaker 1: and we you know, we have this grandmother. But for
Speaker 1: things like the holidays, it's hard. For Christmas specifically, it's
Speaker 1: hard for us to come together because we have kids
Speaker 1: and spouses and things, and it's hard to just pick
Speaker 1: somewhere to go. So we decided to hope. I decided
Speaker 1: we were hosting a family happy hour because although we
Speaker 1: are with our extended families, we still nothing feels better
Speaker 1: than being with your people in your space. So on
Speaker 1: the twenty second of December, we had a family happy hour.
Speaker 1: Everybody contributed whatever, and we all came together. And that
Speaker 1: was a part of the gratitude because for the last
Speaker 1: month I've been telling everybody how much I love them
Speaker 1: and how great they were. And it was a ripple
Speaker 1: effect because the more I said it, then the more
Speaker 1: they said it, and the morning, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like everybody was like, well, you do this great and
Speaker 1: for a happy hour it was like, oh, you know, cousin,
Speaker 1: you always make the best drinks, so you make the
Speaker 1: drinks and you always do this, And it became like
Speaker 1: a big thing and we had the time of our life,
Speaker 1: just our family together for well four or five hours,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, amount of time it was, and it
Speaker 1: was great. So I appreciate you for even bringing it
Speaker 1: up because you took my family to another level this holiday.
Speaker 1: See man, y'all trying to get a ge fucked up
Speaker 1: in there? Come on, now, we know that I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't. Okay, all right, I'm go on to say
Speaker 1: what I need to say later, Okay, angel, last, but
Speaker 1: not least. Man, that's a tough act to follow. I
Speaker 1: know that's what she's talking about. I'm changing your family
Speaker 1: and shit like, come on now, all right, that's heavy.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of pressures. You did you want to
Speaker 1: talk about some real old geez, like I got some
Speaker 1: geez in my family. So thank you, thank you. That's
Speaker 1: support the gratitude challenge to me. Actually, I think it
Speaker 1: was on the some of the first so um, I
Speaker 1: was a little late in the game, but you know,
Speaker 1: she said, I want you to participate in this gratitude challenge,
Speaker 1: and it was like an instantaneous, like no brainer for me.
Speaker 1: This past year, I have literally working my full time
Speaker 1: job and addition also my full time business which I'm
Speaker 1: an event planner, and literally from February to probably about June,
Speaker 1: I was literally was working seven days a week. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can understand this because I worked seven days a
Speaker 1: week and it was mentally and physically just you know,
Speaker 1: really starting to take a toll on me. And I
Speaker 1: told myself, once I finished these events in June, I'm
Speaker 1: cutting it off and I need to take some time
Speaker 1: for myself. And then the events picked back up, and
Speaker 1: then you know, it kind of came to a stop.
Speaker 1: The holidays are you know, as for anyone, it's a
Speaker 1: difficult time, right and it's December is especially a difficult
Speaker 1: you know time for me. And when she sent it,
Speaker 1: it was just kind of like it was just right
Speaker 1: on time. During the challenge really showed me that as
Speaker 1: working all women, mothers, daughters, friends, cousins, employees, we need
Speaker 1: to do a better job of taking a step back
Speaker 1: and really being appreciative for the things that we actually
Speaker 1: do have, because you know, a lot of things can
Speaker 1: become routine. We get up, we take our kids to
Speaker 1: school or you know, drop you know, our spouses off
Speaker 1: or carpool and whatever the situation may be. And then
Speaker 1: we come home, take care what we can take care
Speaker 1: of me, We go to sleep, and they would do
Speaker 1: it all over again. What I found out was that
Speaker 1: I have an appreciation for the people that are especially
Speaker 1: closer for my circle. So when I look back at
Speaker 1: my Gratitude challenge, and some days, you know, I did forget,
Speaker 1: but I would say, oh, day seven, eight, and nine,
Speaker 1: and I would literally list it out because I didn't
Speaker 1: want to skip a day because that's how important that
Speaker 1: it actually felt for me. So I made sure I
Speaker 1: show my appreciation to my husband, you know, which I
Speaker 1: try to do as much as possible, you know, my
Speaker 1: best friend, and you know, my close family members and friends.
Speaker 1: And doing this Gratitude challenge really kind of set the
Speaker 1: tone for me for twenty twenty two. So I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people every year they're you know, they say, oh,
Speaker 1: my New Year's resolutionists, I'm going to go to the gym,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this, and they have these laundry lists
Speaker 1: of goals, and I've been doing that for the past
Speaker 1: couple of years. But I don't have any goals for
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. Listen, that's it, and it's okay, sis,
Speaker 1: it is okay over here, and hand me my prestre
Speaker 1: new angel. So you don't know, I rebuked the demon
Speaker 1: of overproductivity, especially in Black women, we tied. We tired
Speaker 1: of ship, very tired. We tired of our assets being tied.
Speaker 1: We tied from them being tied. They worked to our
Speaker 1: so that we can rest a little bit. Rest, Yeah, tied,
Speaker 1: yured and I said that you know, you know, Essence,
Speaker 1: you know, one of my biggest supporters. And for the
Speaker 1: longest time, I've had so many people, you know, telling
Speaker 1: me how great I am, and you know, and you know,
Speaker 1: they really believe in me and they love what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: And you know, for someone who was just you know,
Speaker 1: gotta keep going, I gotta keep going. I don't gotta
Speaker 1: time to stop. You really don't take the time to
Speaker 1: really reflect on that. And I really sat back and
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I work entirely too damn
Speaker 1: hard and I do two damn much to not really
Speaker 1: sit back and just you know, rep reap the benefits
Speaker 1: of what I've put in. So I said, I'm going
Speaker 1: to take more self care for Angel because that's what
Speaker 1: I pulled from a gratitude challenge, and also to continue
Speaker 1: to spend time with my family and friends and just
Speaker 1: kind of go with the flow and just realize that, hey,
Speaker 1: these things are going to be there, but this isn't
Speaker 1: everything in life. So it was really an eye opening experience.
Speaker 1: And I even think you for you know, putting that
Speaker 1: out into the atmosphere and the fact that I since
Speaker 1: listened to the podcast along with you know, your other
Speaker 1: listeners and then it was able to you know, have
Speaker 1: such a huge effect on me. So it was it
Speaker 1: was really great. That is awesome. Man, I feel dumb
Speaker 1: when I'm about to talk about mine, like all right, well, okay,
Speaker 1: well I was just happy, okay the end. No, I
Speaker 1: was determined that I would finish this challenge because an
Speaker 1: area of my life that over the past few years
Speaker 1: that I'm actually since I started this podcast or maybe
Speaker 1: a little before that, I really try to focus on
Speaker 1: is finishing what I start. That's important to me. So
Speaker 1: I was determined to finish it, and I needed to
Speaker 1: finish it because it's my idea and I can't say
Speaker 1: I want you guys to do it and finish it
Speaker 1: and I don't finish it myself. So I did, like
Speaker 1: I said, I did the whole challenge. I might have
Speaker 1: missed like two days maybe I went on vacation, and
Speaker 1: while I was on vacation, I didn't have my post
Speaker 1: it notes, but I ended up writing I take like
Speaker 1: a journal or a notebook of some sort everywhere I go,
Speaker 1: like I have to take it. And I don't even
Speaker 1: know why, because sometimes I don't write in them, but
Speaker 1: just in case I get a good idea, I need
Speaker 1: to be able to write it down. And so I
Speaker 1: wrote in the back of an old journal every day,
Speaker 1: and then when I got home, I cut the pages
Speaker 1: up and just folded them up and put them away.
Speaker 1: For me, I think I wanted to keep the momentum
Speaker 1: of how I was feeling when I went on that
Speaker 1: trip to Arizona and seeing my brothers and my birthday
Speaker 1: was right after that. I wanted to keep that momentum
Speaker 1: up because it was almost like it was almost like
Speaker 1: a high for me. And I don't know if I
Speaker 1: was necessarily chasing the high or it was just like,
Speaker 1: I really like the way this feels. I want to
Speaker 1: sit in this, because it's not that I live a
Speaker 1: life of where I'm not grateful or I'm not appreciative,
Speaker 1: but forcing yourself to really hone in on five to
Speaker 1: ten things that you're grateful for it sounds overwhelming, but
Speaker 1: when you get into it, it's really not once you
Speaker 1: realize that it's not a complex thing, because, like Gina said,
Speaker 1: you find yourself saying, I'm just grateful for breath. I'm
Speaker 1: grateful for a nice cutlery set, because one time I
Speaker 1: wrote that I'm grateful that I have nice knives. Right,
Speaker 1: you're muted, essence, I don't I don't know if you
Speaker 1: knew that, but I see you moving here. Well, no
Speaker 1: I did, though I was muted. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: necessarily interrupt you. But okay, but that's a big deal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: having nice knives is important, Yes, when it's time to
Speaker 1: cut vegetables or meant, but I wanted to I wanted
Speaker 1: to keep the momentum going and keep that feeling going
Speaker 1: because it was such a I was in such a
Speaker 1: good place when it was happening. And so I think
Speaker 1: for me, the thing that I noticed the most is
Speaker 1: that I am very grateful for the people that are
Speaker 1: around me. And since I might have even wrote one
Speaker 1: time that I was grateful for you, because you whenever
Speaker 1: you see me at least one to two times a week,
Speaker 1: you encourage me as it relates to this podcast, and
Speaker 1: you don't really know how impactful that is for me,
Speaker 1: because I am the kind of girl or the kind
Speaker 1: of person where when I'm tired or something, I just
Speaker 1: don't do it no more, which is why I said
Speaker 1: I wanted to finish something that I started. So it's
Speaker 1: very encouraging on those days where I don't feel like
Speaker 1: it or I feel like I'm not making an impact
Speaker 1: with the work that I'm doing with this, or that
Speaker 1: I feel like i haven't quite tapped in yet, or
Speaker 1: like that I'm not good enough, or like nobody listened
Speaker 1: to my podcast because it's stupid, Like I can always
Speaker 1: count on you at some point during the week to
Speaker 1: talk to me about how great you think it is,
Speaker 1: and I am very grateful for that. But I'm really
Speaker 1: grateful for the people that I have around me, and
Speaker 1: I think that for me that's important because I know
Speaker 1: what loss looks like and feels like in the way
Speaker 1: of like humans in your that probably should be closer
Speaker 1: to you, right whether it's emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or physically.
Speaker 1: So I really cherish the people that are around me,
Speaker 1: and doing this challenge really let me know like I
Speaker 1: do and I didn't do necessarily what you did in
Speaker 1: that I told them because I'm a super emotional libra.
Speaker 1: You're a Libra too, But I'm a super emotional Libra.
Speaker 1: I tell people all the time, I love you, You're great.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're so wonderful. But it really made
Speaker 1: me think, like I am so fucking loved, like I
Speaker 1: am loved by a lot of people, like and I
Speaker 1: have everything that I need. It also put into perspective
Speaker 1: for me that, like Fatima said, like all of my
Speaker 1: basic needs are met, and there are so many people
Speaker 1: who just their basic needs. Every day on my way
Speaker 1: to work, I pass this man. He sits on the meeting.
Speaker 1: He's homeless, and oh, I might cry. He's homeless. And
Speaker 1: my basic needs are met. I don't have to rely
Speaker 1: on somebody giving me their Panera scraps out of a car,
Speaker 1: or you know, giving me a blanket because I'm cold,
Speaker 1: or you know, my needs and my and beyond my
Speaker 1: basic wants are ment. I'm grateful for that because everybody
Speaker 1: can't say that. And I'm not grateful for it because
Speaker 1: somebody else can't. I'm grateful for it because I know that.
Speaker 1: You know. So this is tricky. When I'm thinking the
Speaker 1: thought that I just had, it's like, I know that
Speaker 1: I'm worth it and I know that I deserve it,
Speaker 1: you know, because we push that like you deserve says
Speaker 1: and you deserve and I deserve and I'm worth it.
Speaker 1: Maybe she's worth it, maybe it's mabeling or maybe she's
Speaker 1: born with or whatever. But the truth of the matter
Speaker 1: is that I am so blessed to have it because
Speaker 1: everybody don't got what I got. So the fact, how
Speaker 1: are we to a decision that could be you know, child,
Speaker 1: because we've all been through different things in different spaces,
Speaker 1: and like I like to joke and say I was
Speaker 1: bougie homeless, but I've been through some shit and like
Speaker 1: every decision we make sometimes God put us in that spot.
Speaker 1: But who's to say that those people don't deserve things
Speaker 1: that we have as well? Is it? A decision is
Speaker 1: based on access? Like absolutely, so I oh, so you
Speaker 1: don't listen, so you don't listen to the show, which
Speaker 1: what you don't know is that that's what I do.
Speaker 1: I like a lot of crystals. I like a lot
Speaker 1: of incense and oils and shit and sage and shit.
Speaker 1: But don't ever get it fucked up. I was raised
Speaker 1: in the church, so I'm I'm gonna take it back
Speaker 1: to God. Every time, hallelujah. I think that sometimes because
Speaker 1: we do get especially black women, Oh I deserve because
Speaker 1: I'm a Black woman, and I deserve and you do
Speaker 1: deserve this on you know, on a very basic level,
Speaker 1: every body deserves, right. We don't deserve no more than
Speaker 1: nobody else. I'm gonna lead that where it's at. But
Speaker 1: I think that it is much more pleasing to God
Speaker 1: to look at the situation like, how blessed am I
Speaker 1: that you chose me to have these things, that I
Speaker 1: have to have, these people, that I have to have
Speaker 1: this washing machine, And not that he didn't choose your
Speaker 1: cousin to have a washing machine fought to him, not
Speaker 1: that he didn't, he did choose you to have it.
Speaker 1: How blessed are you to have the washing machine? Right?
Speaker 1: And even in showing your cousin the washing machine, that
Speaker 1: could have sparked like some hope in him, like, man,
Speaker 1: I need to go to get my ass over to
Speaker 1: the US so I can get one of these machines
Speaker 1: she got, you know, and in turn he and even
Speaker 1: if he never makes it to the US to get
Speaker 1: a machine, it might spark something in him that's positive.
Speaker 1: Because as you guys were talking, you got you guys
Speaker 1: are like, oh, I'm grateful that you did this because
Speaker 1: it made me feel this, And I'm like, shit, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I ain't no fucking body. Who am I to spark joy?
Speaker 1: But who am I to not? And I just think
Speaker 1: that you know, when we operate from a place of gratitude,
Speaker 1: it changes your whole mindset. And all of you have
Speaker 1: said that I know someone who is dealing with like
Speaker 1: really bad grief, right, and I lost my grandfather. Oh
Speaker 1: Sunday will be too now, y'all really want a bitch
Speaker 1: to cry? Now? Oh, um, Sunday it will be two
Speaker 1: years to the day. And my grandfather talked about him
Speaker 1: on this show all the time. He was my ace boom, like,
Speaker 1: he was my number one cheerleader. Like sometimes I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: I wish he was here to see me doing this,
Speaker 1: because he wouldn't. He wouldn't even he don't even he wouldn't.
Speaker 1: He don't know what the podcast is. But he would
Speaker 1: be calling this friends. He would listen to every episode.
Speaker 1: He would tell his friends, Oh, my granddaughter got the show.
Speaker 1: You should listen to it. She on the radio. He
Speaker 1: would just make something up, but I know he would
Speaker 1: be really proud of me. It was a big loss
Speaker 1: for me. But I navigate grief a little bit differently
Speaker 1: because of this challenge, because I look at it like,
Speaker 1: how grateful am I to have even been able to
Speaker 1: have a relationship with him from the start? Because everybody
Speaker 1: didn't have a grandfather? Some people never their grandfather died
Speaker 1: before they were born. I had my grandfather, my grandfather.
Speaker 1: I was forty when my grandfather passed away. I had
Speaker 1: a grandfather for forty years, and a grandfather who stood
Speaker 1: in the gap for me when my own father did
Speaker 1: not or my own mother did not, or when I
Speaker 1: did not stand in the gap for myself. So I
Speaker 1: think I look at grief in a different way because
Speaker 1: of this challenge, though now not that I was like
Speaker 1: walking around really sad or depressed as a result, but
Speaker 1: I definitely look at it a little bit different now.
Speaker 1: I like, how grateful am I? How grateful am I
Speaker 1: to know who my parents are? I know who they are,
Speaker 1: They're still alive, Like I like, you have to really
Speaker 1: think about it and not from a place where I
Speaker 1: have something that somebody else doesn't, or like my situation.
Speaker 1: It bothers me when people say, well, somebody else always
Speaker 1: has it worse off than you. Yeah, Like that's operating
Speaker 1: from a space of negativity, right, perspective too, right, Like
Speaker 1: we can all say things our worst space on how
Speaker 1: we feel like going through this challenge. I lost my
Speaker 1: mom a little over a year ago, and so that's
Speaker 1: why this holid season was really really rough. But during
Speaker 1: this challenge, an acquaintance or a friend of mine passed away,
Speaker 1: and I I meanly thought about her daughter, who was turning.
Speaker 1: I think she's like thirteen, and I'm like, day, I'm
Speaker 1: over here broken up and crying and if that shouldn't
Speaker 1: because it's my mom. But I'm like, but my mom
Speaker 1: got to see me till I was forty two. Yeah, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: Like she got to see I got to spend a
Speaker 1: long time, but I got to have quality time and
Speaker 1: close connection. This young lady loses her right at the
Speaker 1: pivot point where she's becoming a teenager and about to
Speaker 1: do all these things where she's not going to have
Speaker 1: that experience. And so it put it into perspective for
Speaker 1: me where I think I mentioned earlier, some of my
Speaker 1: things that I was grateful for was really good memories.
Speaker 1: You know, I was grateful for the quality time that
Speaker 1: I have with my mom, like the connection that had,
Speaker 1: like just a lot of things where I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: not that you know, she's not going to have a
Speaker 1: negative way, but it makes you look at it differently
Speaker 1: for what you did have, even if the time was
Speaker 1: still considered short, right, Like I wouldn't want anybody to
Speaker 1: go through that. We may all go through it at
Speaker 1: some point, but still a perspective looking at it from
Speaker 1: a different place of I am thankful for having all
Speaker 1: of those things that maybe at times I got frustrated
Speaker 1: lye or her, you know, sometimes her opinions and a
Speaker 1: little too much mothering. But now it's different. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I think that Another thing another theme that I saw
Speaker 1: for me was time alone. I work in a building
Speaker 1: with close to a thousand people, right, yeah, a COVID
Speaker 1: hot spot, honey. I work in the building with about
Speaker 1: I would say, close to a thousand people, well over
Speaker 1: like between nine fifty nine hundred, close to nine hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty people. And I think that time by myself,
Speaker 1: Like some people need to be around other people, like
Speaker 1: it feeds them, time with me feeds me. I really
Speaker 1: enjoy being with myself, Like I really like just being
Speaker 1: with me. Not that I don't like being around other people,
Speaker 1: but I really enjoy just spending time with myself. And
Speaker 1: I don't even have to do anything. It doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be a spa day or you know, me cooking
Speaker 1: a big meal. It could literally be me sitting and
Speaker 1: watching Harry Potter movies for eight days straight. I'm okay
Speaker 1: with it. I definitely bench watched the Harry Potter movie
Speaker 1: series during Christmas break and it was amazing. Is there
Speaker 1: anybody else who is really in the Harry Potter Please
Speaker 1: tell me? Yes, I am. What house do you belong to?
Speaker 1: Griffin Door? Hello? Yes, yeah. I took the test. I
Speaker 1: took it three times because the first time I took
Speaker 1: it the first time. I know this is a seguay,
Speaker 1: but if you listen to the show, you know Sis
Speaker 1: likes to digress. So I'm a late bloomer with Harry Potter.
Speaker 1: I read. I read the first two books in OH
Speaker 1: seven and o eight half of the second book, and
Speaker 1: then I dropped it because I started doing makeup full time,
Speaker 1: so I was really laser focused on that. I took
Speaker 1: the first test like maybe two or three years ago
Speaker 1: because one of my co workers is really in Harry Potter,
Speaker 1: and she was like, well, take the test of that.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I don't know what the
Speaker 1: hell of Gryffinder is or gryffindor whatever it is. Well
Speaker 1: that's what I got on the test. After I watched
Speaker 1: the movies last two weeks ago. Took the test again
Speaker 1: and I got raven Claw and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't really know. This is weird because I don't
Speaker 1: really like feel it. I don't feel the raven Claw
Speaker 1: connection right. So I would have got hufful Puff. I'd
Speaker 1: have been like, Okay, I can feel that, but now
Speaker 1: I feel I don't feel that. Took it again and
Speaker 1: got Gryffinder, now Gryffindor, and I was like, okay, this
Speaker 1: is where I belong because they are brave, they're chivalrous,
Speaker 1: you know, and that is who I am. I think. Well,
Speaker 1: I took it to the second time when I got Slytherin. Well,
Speaker 1: don't tell anybody that, you know what, Sorry that we're
Speaker 1: having a sorry that we're having a Harry Potter Um
Speaker 1: spin off conversation. But here's what I learned about Slytherin.
Speaker 1: And because I joined the hair, I joined the Harry
Speaker 1: Potter Fan Club at forty two. Like no, literally, I
Speaker 1: signed up for the Harry Potter Fan Club and I
Speaker 1: get the eats now and you yeah, I'm not joking.
Speaker 1: When I like something, when I'm into something, I go hard.
Speaker 1: That's how I am. And so and so. UM, I
Speaker 1: read up something. I read some things about Slytherin and
Speaker 1: it seems like they get a bad they drab, but
Speaker 1: realistically they are really smart. Um, they use their resources.
Speaker 1: They're very cunning. Um, you know, and you know I'm
Speaker 1: with that, but it's not it's not for me. My
Speaker 1: favorite character on the in the movies though, is several
Speaker 1: snake by far, He's not. Oh yes, he is my
Speaker 1: favorite too. He is literally one of my favorite and
Speaker 1: his voice everything cried when he died. I definitely cry like, no,
Speaker 1: it realized. No I cried, I said, I was crying
Speaker 1: like I cried. Yeah, I was sorry, guys. So okay,
Speaker 1: So back to our normally a regally y'all didn't y'all
Speaker 1: don't watch her, y'all? No, No, I've watched the Harry
Speaker 1: Potter movies. I'm not that dial then, but no, if
Speaker 1: it comes on, I will sit down and I'll watch
Speaker 1: the movie. Okay, you're not. You don't watch oh I do.
Speaker 1: I loved Harry Potter to the point that I got
Speaker 1: excited about their reunion because I thought it was going
Speaker 1: to be an actual film Harry Potter. I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: it's gonna have a plot. And I'm like, oh, we're
Speaker 1: watching them meet each other after two Okay, I knew that.
Speaker 1: You were like I knew it. I'm like, she's sitting
Speaker 1: over there, all calm, I know she's watched these films.
Speaker 1: So I started watching it. Everybody thought I was watching
Speaker 1: it because of the twenty year reunion, but I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that that was a thing, that
Speaker 1: it was happening until I got to seven point one
Speaker 1: film seven point one definitely Hallows Part one. But anyway,
Speaker 1: enough about Harry Potter that this just goes to show
Speaker 1: everybody listening that being a black woman, being a black
Speaker 1: person is not a monolithic experience. Okay, because you just
Speaker 1: heard four black women essence, you didn't get excited about it,
Speaker 1: So I guess you're not a new Potter. Okay, talk
Speaker 1: about Harry Potter. Three of them geeked out about it.
Speaker 1: One of them belongs to Harry Potter fan Club. Okay,
Speaker 1: and her name is me. That's who she is. But anyway,
Speaker 1: don't don't assume things about anybody, particularly black women, because
Speaker 1: we like all kind of things. So anyway, back to
Speaker 1: this gratitude challenge, So those were the overarching things for me,
Speaker 1: like just basic needs, like you know, I'm happy to
Speaker 1: have running water, like I've read through, I'm happy to
Speaker 1: running water. I'm happy to have heat because my heat
Speaker 1: broke twice during the fucking challenge, and then when it
Speaker 1: stopped breaking, I was like, I'm happy to have a
Speaker 1: warm home. I'm happy to have gas in my car.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to have food in my refrigerator. These are
Speaker 1: all things that I wrote down. So it was almost
Speaker 1: like it was a humbling experience, right because it makes
Speaker 1: you feel like, wait a minute, humble yourself before God
Speaker 1: for me, and just be grateful that I have these
Speaker 1: these things because you know, as they say in a
Speaker 1: lot of Christian songs, even me, like even me who
Speaker 1: sometimes you know we talk about like I said, oh
Speaker 1: I deserve, because I deserve. But you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: always a good little girl. I'm not always on my
Speaker 1: peas and ques. But God still saw fit to bless
Speaker 1: me with a warm home, food in my refrigerator, loving
Speaker 1: family and friends around me. So I think that for me,
Speaker 1: it was a very humbling experience and it really, like
Speaker 1: I said, made me think about how many awesome people
Speaker 1: I have in my life and around me, which I'm
Speaker 1: really really grateful for, including you guys, because y'all just
Speaker 1: bless me tonight. I don't even know if you know
Speaker 1: that Jena blessed me twice with this hot wine, but
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, guys. I do have a question, what
Speaker 1: is the hardest lesson you feel like you learned, but
Speaker 1: that you're grateful that you had to learn or that
Speaker 1: you got a chance to learn. I would say accept
Speaker 1: my situation, okay, just accepting, so acceptance of acceptance or
Speaker 1: just acceptance in general, just acceptance in general. I just
Speaker 1: wasn't accepting things okay, like just accepting everything and just
Speaker 1: being okay with even though things are not the way
Speaker 1: I wanted to be, other things are. I'm thankful for
Speaker 1: other things. Yea, I would say accepting because for me
Speaker 1: that was the hardest thing. I just was not accepting. Okay. Essence,
Speaker 1: your hand is up. Okay, So since we're on zoom.
Speaker 1: I felt like we were in a meeting. We were
Speaker 1: not like I doing meeting. That's that gobbling. I don't know. Well, Okay,
Speaker 1: so I raised my hand because I wanted to say something,
Speaker 1: but I don't necessarily know what I learned because it
Speaker 1: was like levels to it. It was more of an
Speaker 1: awakening than like learning something. Okay, that's the same. So
Speaker 1: in my family, and I'm gonna make I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: get a long winded with this, but in my family,
Speaker 1: so from the top, like my grandmother down, we don't
Speaker 1: express our feelings for each other unless we're drunk, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: so we'll have a gather at a party whatever. Everybody
Speaker 1: can get so drunk and then it's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I love you this, and that we have not gotten
Speaker 1: to a place. We're getting there, but prior to the
Speaker 1: Gratitude Challenge, we had not gotten to a place where
Speaker 1: we can honestly call each other and say, girl, I
Speaker 1: love you. Like the Gratitude challenge. The reason why I
Speaker 1: went and forwardly expressed the people how I felt was
Speaker 1: because it don't happen in our family. So it was
Speaker 1: a big deal because people were like, oh my gosh, like,
Speaker 1: I love you too, and I really do like this,
Speaker 1: and you know, we took it to another level. And
Speaker 1: we also included the children in this, so all the
Speaker 1: eighteen and unders were included, and it made it like
Speaker 1: a thing, like it was a big loving thing of
Speaker 1: appreciation within the family. Like I said, we went into
Speaker 1: the happy hour. What I realized in that moment is
Speaker 1: my power because I really took my family to another level. Girl,
Speaker 1: you out here breaking generational curses, listen, it's my goal.
Speaker 1: Like we don't have enough podcast time to get into
Speaker 1: the curses that are breaking. But I really realized my
Speaker 1: power within my family where if I say it, they
Speaker 1: will come. If I started, they will follow, and somebody
Speaker 1: has to be the one to do it. And if yeah,
Speaker 1: it was is a big deal, Like we had likes
Speaker 1: a lot because we had a whole cousins. Even that
Speaker 1: didn't happen, that was a whole big deal. And when
Speaker 1: we got to this and I started expressing and everybody
Speaker 1: started expressing, and it was a real big loving thing. So, um,
Speaker 1: you want to answer your question, I would get I
Speaker 1: guess it really is my power within my family and
Speaker 1: being the person to be able to um to do
Speaker 1: that to take us to another level. You know, even
Speaker 1: if it's just a hug, you know, we love each
Speaker 1: other level. That's an amazing thing. The other thing I
Speaker 1: wanted to add, so while you guys were gushing over
Speaker 1: your Harry Potter, I googled the Harry Potter quiz and
Speaker 1: I belonged to the House of raven Claw. That what
Speaker 1: in the Google search. That's not the real quiz. The
Speaker 1: one you took is not real. You have to take
Speaker 1: the quiz on my Wizarding World dot world, because that's
Speaker 1: the real quiz. Honey, it was on Google and it's
Speaker 1: a Harry Potter quiz. No. No, first of all, you're
Speaker 1: not You are probably a hufflepuff. You're definitely not a
Speaker 1: raven Claw. And you that's not the real quiz because
Speaker 1: the real quiz you gotta sign up. You gotta give
Speaker 1: your first born's toe nails, you gotta give a drop,
Speaker 1: you got to do a lot of things. That's the Yeah. See,
Speaker 1: that's the real test. I took that test three times.
Speaker 1: I deleted the account. I didn't. I wanted to know
Speaker 1: three out best three out of two out of three,
Speaker 1: and it was Griffin Door twice, raven Claw once, anyway, sorry,
Speaker 1: as you don't even know what anything. They could eat
Speaker 1: old dogs for breakfast. You don't even know, silly self.
Speaker 1: Any who. I also like Lord of the Rings too, anybody?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, I mean too. I'm big, yes,
Speaker 1: lord of It. Literally do you know the amount of lesson? Yes,
Speaker 1: it was, and the Hobbit was too. Ye you're thinking
Speaker 1: of the hobbit. I am of the hobbit. Yep, my man,
Speaker 1: we're talking about how man. Yeah, listen, we're gonna talk
Speaker 1: on the side. We need, we need to talk on
Speaker 1: the side that that serious business. Yeah it is. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: what about you, Angel? What is um a lesson that
Speaker 1: you were grateful to learn for me? I was grateful
Speaker 1: to really learn. I wouldn't say learn, it's more so
Speaker 1: UM kind of hone and on it. It's to appreciate
Speaker 1: me more. Okay, that's always about I will say I
Speaker 1: probably haven't done a great job over the past couple
Speaker 1: of years. So in my family, I am the go
Speaker 1: to person. UM. I am the person that they call um.
Speaker 1: I'm the person where I will give the shirt off
Speaker 1: my back. I'm always willing to help. I'm always kind
Speaker 1: of taking on everyone else's problems, but I have a
Speaker 1: tendency to put myself last. And I said that I
Speaker 1: need to stop doing that, because when I'm tired, when
Speaker 1: I'm ready to break, when I'm ready to throw my
Speaker 1: hands up, there's nobody that's what they're gonna be able
Speaker 1: to save me but me. You know, I say that
Speaker 1: a lot to people. Ain't nobody coming to save you
Speaker 1: since so save you. It's nobody that's coming to save
Speaker 1: me but me. So I said that if I don't
Speaker 1: take the time to slow down, pump the brakes, to
Speaker 1: stop and smell the flowers, you know, it could be
Speaker 1: a real detriment to myself. And I was just like,
Speaker 1: I really need to appreciate the great person that I am,
Speaker 1: and um, do more self care, take myself on more deep,
Speaker 1: tell people no more, and if they get mad, really
Speaker 1: don't give a shit. Yeah no, it's a complete sentence. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you do this? No? No, nobody cannot. No. And
Speaker 1: guess what, you don't owe anybody in explanation after that,
Speaker 1: either if you give, if you give an explanation, then
Speaker 1: you are a kind person. That's that's that's extra. That's
Speaker 1: like whipped cream and a chair. But you don't owe anybody,
Speaker 1: not your children, not your husband, not your MoMA, not
Speaker 1: your daddy. You don't owe anybody in explanation no, And
Speaker 1: if you do give an explanation, the best explanation is
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. Yeah, eriod, that's it
Speaker 1: and it's okay, and anybody and anybody who now don't
Speaker 1: go out and just be like because I did this. Actually,
Speaker 1: my therapist, I cannot have one episode where I don't
Speaker 1: mention this. Lady. I don't know what it is, but
Speaker 1: she said that maybe around June. She told me, she said,
Speaker 1: you've gotten really good with telling people now, and I
Speaker 1: mean really good with like standing up for yourself and
Speaker 1: saying no, you won't. But you need to figure out
Speaker 1: how to get back that love, loving and kind and
Speaker 1: sweet Mimi back. And I was like, no, I didn't
Speaker 1: say no, but like it was about balance. But I
Speaker 1: had gotten really good with, you know, saying the word no.
Speaker 1: You don't feel bad when you say no, because that's
Speaker 1: what that's what I'm struggling with, because you always say,
Speaker 1: do what you want to do and don't do what
Speaker 1: you know. But that is difficult because it's like once
Speaker 1: you say no, that guilt. Oh, my goodness. I always
Speaker 1: have to turn around and say okay, maybe, okay, yeah girl,
Speaker 1: we're gonna work on you. Like no, because struggle with that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that guilt. It's like I feel so sad
Speaker 1: for them because I'm sitting here thinking, oh man, they
Speaker 1: really needed whatever it is. But you know, here's the thing,
Speaker 1: if you don't want to do it, you do more
Speaker 1: of a disservice to yourself by doing something that you
Speaker 1: don't want to do. It's now if it's if if
Speaker 1: it's your son and he's hungry, then you can't be like, no,
Speaker 1: I ain't fixing you nothing to need. Like if he's seven,
Speaker 1: like fix him something please, But like if he's a fourteen,
Speaker 1: if he's fourteen and you say, no, I don't feel
Speaker 1: like it today, little Bama, go in there and fix
Speaker 1: the sandwich. But go figure it out. But no, and
Speaker 1: I understand that, And I said that before in the
Speaker 1: last episode where my therapist was on the show. That
Speaker 1: was literally one of the best episodes for me. When
Speaker 1: it sounds real easy, do what you want and don't
Speaker 1: do what you don't want, the shit is hard. It is,
Speaker 1: especially especially if you are in a situation or you
Speaker 1: come from a family where you know, you know an
Speaker 1: immigrant family. Well, my family ain't my family immigrant family
Speaker 1: says we straight out of West Baltimore and we're we
Speaker 1: immigrants from from West Baltimore to Northwest Baltimore County, like
Speaker 1: were not immigrants. But that just goes to show how
Speaker 1: connected black people are. It does no matter where we
Speaker 1: are from. We could be from France, Russia, China, the Gambia, Granada,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. Like we're all connected in all of
Speaker 1: the things that we deal with, especially in our family dynamic.
Speaker 1: All that shit is connected. It's in our blood, it's
Speaker 1: in our bone marrow. I don't know if it came
Speaker 1: from with us when we came from Africa to Jamaica
Speaker 1: and Antigua and West Baltimore and North Carolina and wherever
Speaker 1: we are. But a lot of the family dynamic issues
Speaker 1: like it's all the same, right, and also how we're
Speaker 1: raised as women, right, like the things that we're taught
Speaker 1: to do and what's okay, and like what you can
Speaker 1: and can't sacrifice, and how it's selfish at yourself first,
Speaker 1: and how that part of times we tend to be
Speaker 1: the stable ones, right, we could share everybody else, like
Speaker 1: talk about saying no a lot now because I've been
Speaker 1: like literally the places of where I'm like, I'm making
Speaker 1: myself sick by not doing it. And I've been trying
Speaker 1: this for a number of years and it takes practice
Speaker 1: and it's not easy, but you have to get that
Speaker 1: place of like I feel like part of that contributed
Speaker 1: to my mom's passing, and I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to go out like that. I refuse for that to
Speaker 1: be how I leave this world right. And so one
Speaker 1: are the things that are important? And my fiance has
Speaker 1: been huge and saying like, what are the three things
Speaker 1: you have to do right now? That literally like if
Speaker 1: you don't get them done this week, somebody's gonna get
Speaker 1: hurt or die. And if if if something can wait
Speaker 1: till next week, let it wait, if somebody else can
Speaker 1: get it done, see who else can get it done,
Speaker 1: because once you start saying no, you start to see
Speaker 1: who else will step up? And was that thing they
Speaker 1: asked really that important that you had to be done
Speaker 1: by you right now? Could it wait a week? Could
Speaker 1: they do it themselves? Are they okay? If not doing
Speaker 1: it at all? Like people will figure out a way,
Speaker 1: but we're so used to taking it all on and
Speaker 1: making things happen because we do, and we do it
Speaker 1: really really well that we don't want to say no
Speaker 1: or not. People expect it from us, right, and they
Speaker 1: get used to us stepping up. Another thing that my
Speaker 1: therapist has taught me is about like um black women
Speaker 1: in like the culture of like self sacrificing in the
Speaker 1: familiar unit, right, And she has taught me that I
Speaker 1: don't have to bleed out for you to understand that
Speaker 1: I love you and I support you, So I don't
Speaker 1: have to I don't have to slip my wrist and
Speaker 1: pour all my blood out so that you can, you know, thrive,
Speaker 1: because ultimately, it's not my job to make sure that
Speaker 1: you thrive. That's your job, because I'm out here trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how to make sure that I thrive. Right.
Speaker 1: Of course, I'm not talking about children, because it's difficult
Speaker 1: children or you know, elderly people who absolutely can't do
Speaker 1: anything for themselves, like that's different, or even family members
Speaker 1: that need support or assistance in a different way like
Speaker 1: they cannot do for themselves. But the thing is that
Speaker 1: like if you can do for yourself, you need to
Speaker 1: make some effort because it's not why am I sacrificing
Speaker 1: myself when you aren't putting forth any effort to do anything.
Speaker 1: That is absolutely not okay, because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, like Gena said, you could end up physically
Speaker 1: ill or I'm gonna make it even more hot. You
Speaker 1: pour into somebody else. And a lot as women, we've
Speaker 1: been in relationships where we've done this for men or women,
Speaker 1: if you're with a woman, whatever, We've been in relationships
Speaker 1: where you pour so much into that other person to
Speaker 1: help them. Look at Issa Ray and Lawrence Orsa d
Speaker 1: and Lawrence. It did, it did, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about that on this episode, but it can wait.
Speaker 1: I feel like we've all been in that relationship where
Speaker 1: we've poured so much and sacrificed so much for somebody else,
Speaker 1: and then when they done, they just get up and
Speaker 1: going about their business and go be with somebody else,
Speaker 1: or go be with themselves or move to yeah, or
Speaker 1: it's like all right, I don't need you no more.
Speaker 1: That's why sometimes not Sometimes it's always important to make
Speaker 1: sure that, like Angel says she's doing, it's important to
Speaker 1: take care of yourself. You have to because ultimately nobody
Speaker 1: is going to come and save you. So while you're
Speaker 1: out trying to save the world, Fatima, who is gonna
Speaker 1: save Batama yea who nobody Nobody's coming to save you, says,
Speaker 1: nobody is coming to save us, so we better save ourselves.
Speaker 1: That doesn't and that does not mean, and that's what
Speaker 1: my therapist was talking about. That doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: stop being loving, that you stop being kind, that you
Speaker 1: stop being helpful, that you don't show up in your
Speaker 1: family the way you're used to. That just means that
Speaker 1: you are first your joy, your peace, your happiness, your
Speaker 1: well being, your physical health, your mental health, because black
Speaker 1: women do not put their mental health first, your mental
Speaker 1: health first. And then when I'm good, I can help
Speaker 1: you because another thing she taught me is that I
Speaker 1: make myself better and more apt to help other people
Speaker 1: when I take good care of myself. Right. So sometimes
Speaker 1: when the guilt get you think about it as and
Speaker 1: it's a shame that we feel guilty about being good
Speaker 1: to ourselves. But when the guilt comes along, say I'm
Speaker 1: making myself better so that I can better show up
Speaker 1: so that I can love I love you better when
Speaker 1: when I love me better, when you like all those things. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah me and let me reminded me, let me go
Speaker 1: email my therapist when we get off the phone because
Speaker 1: we need to sell something up from the January. See
Speaker 1: there you go. Are you better get to stand in appointment?
Speaker 1: My therapist? Cancel my therapist, cancel my appointment. Today I
Speaker 1: was a little bit upset. Well, listen, you know I
Speaker 1: four since two thousand and thirteen, all go together night, Listen.
Speaker 1: We we even had a better separation where she left
Speaker 1: the one um company that she was with and then
Speaker 1: when with this other company and they weren't accepting insurance
Speaker 1: and at that time I was not paying out to
Speaker 1: pocket um. But she came back to the company now
Speaker 1: and um, I've graduated from every week to a couple
Speaker 1: of times throughout the year. So that's a I don't
Speaker 1: ever want to graduate like that. I don't ever want
Speaker 1: to graduate. I don't want to where she was like,
Speaker 1: hey you eat me send me an email. But um,
Speaker 1: you know, with everything that I have like going on
Speaker 1: right now, I'm gonna wait for twenty twenty two and
Speaker 1: the ball to drop. But send me your schedule sets.
Speaker 1: I need to be on it. Tell me something that
Speaker 1: you guys, and we can start to wrap up. But
Speaker 1: tell me something that you guys are really excited about
Speaker 1: and looking forward to in this new year that maybe
Speaker 1: the maybe the challenge helped you with or maybe it
Speaker 1: did not, But if it did help you with being
Speaker 1: excited about something, tell me about that. For me, it
Speaker 1: helped me work on receiving everything right, just receiving in general.
Speaker 1: So naturally I'm always chasing the next thing. I had
Speaker 1: to teach myself to down a little bit. So if
Speaker 1: it's like what am I doing in education with my
Speaker 1: next job? Or what career am I planning for? Or
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do? What vacation am I going on?
Speaker 1: I'm always thinking about the next thing without properly, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, properly enjoying the thing I'm at right, So um,
Speaker 1: I decided, especially with the gratitude, because a lot came out,
Speaker 1: A lot came out, like I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: y'all understand how much you know, love and appreciation was
Speaker 1: poured in this Gratitude challenge. It was poured into me,
Speaker 1: I poured it into people. It was like a whole
Speaker 1: little fountain thing going like this, Well, look, Jenny gonna
Speaker 1: be like don't know Ifody had nothing else no more.
Speaker 1: Gina is the auntie that sits back and watches like
Speaker 1: but it was she doesn't, She's not that's not what
Speaker 1: she's thinking. Um now. So I was really thinking, like,
Speaker 1: let me really focus and receive what I have and
Speaker 1: appreciate where I'm at and where I've come and not
Speaker 1: playing the next thing. So um. And it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's interesting because my cousin was like, hey, we should
Speaker 1: go on a trip, and I'm like, how much is it?
Speaker 1: Let's go, and and I didn't get a chance to
Speaker 1: book it. And I thought that that was like and
Speaker 1: you know God's intent because I'm not moving into a
Speaker 1: planning space. I'm not moving into planning for the next thing.
Speaker 1: I'm taking twenty twenty two day by day, week by week,
Speaker 1: like oh am, I free today. Well that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I'm not looking I'm not looking for that next big thing. Um.
Speaker 1: And so for me, it was just living in the
Speaker 1: space that I'm in in this moment right here and
Speaker 1: receiving the love of the blessings and all that stuff
Speaker 1: around it. I'm just gonna go a hand coffee and
Speaker 1: pace for us. And so it was Oh, I'm looking
Speaker 1: forward to ease and quality time Like a lot of
Speaker 1: what I know this is the things that I'm really
Speaker 1: really great before are simple like like being able to breathe,
Speaker 1: go outside, like spend time with my dog and walk
Speaker 1: outside in nature and watch him play, spend time with
Speaker 1: my fiance, and like the things that it made me
Speaker 1: think more about, like what I do for a living,
Speaker 1: how I spend my time, Like I jokingly tell him,
Speaker 1: I'm like, when we get married, I could be a
Speaker 1: stay at home dog mom, right and I'm still send
Speaker 1: them in the daycare right, Like because I've been hustling
Speaker 1: for so long and doing everything for everybody, and one
Speaker 1: of my women I work with it, like one of
Speaker 1: my therapists or whatever was some me who told you
Speaker 1: I had to do all that And I had to
Speaker 1: think about that, and like nobody told me I had
Speaker 1: to do all that? Like where did I pick up
Speaker 1: this message that I had to be the one? And
Speaker 1: I've been living that way for so long And a
Speaker 1: lot of the things that I was grateful for during
Speaker 1: this challenge is rest, space, air, ability to move, time
Speaker 1: to do yoga, time to do this, like things that
Speaker 1: I may have created, I'm like I've worked so hard, constantly, NonStop,
Speaker 1: fulfilling this busy idea of Okay, I gotta clock in
Speaker 1: right now. I gotta showed, ready how hard I'm working.
Speaker 1: How to do all these things you needed done? Yep,
Speaker 1: I got it the guy that could do it. And
Speaker 1: all it's done is make me feel physically ill or
Speaker 1: stress me out, and I'm done. Like I cant telling
Speaker 1: people like I'm trying to retire at fifty and it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I'm not going to be working in some capacity.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have income coming in in some way,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to work the nine to five,
Speaker 1: which is really nine to nine extra hustle role where
Speaker 1: I don't get to enjoy time with family, enjoy travel,
Speaker 1: enjoy life like I want ease. Yeah, it's funny you
Speaker 1: mentioned that word because I saw it a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago and I was like, I don't even know
Speaker 1: if I really know what that is, and I was
Speaker 1: like ease. I was like, that's what I want. I want.
Speaker 1: I want my life to be filled with ease and
Speaker 1: not that I don't want to know. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: sometimes I feel like as black people is like we
Speaker 1: feel like if it's no struggle then, you know, struggle
Speaker 1: makes the reward better. Fuck that, Yeah, and reward makes
Speaker 1: the reward better, like just getting it is enough. I've
Speaker 1: worked hard enough in my whole life. And if I didn't,
Speaker 1: my mother, my grandmother, my great grandmother, my great great grandmother,
Speaker 1: my great great great grandmother, and so on and so forth,
Speaker 1: they've worked enough that I can have a little bit
Speaker 1: of ease, and hopefully the young ladies that come after me,
Speaker 1: they'll have more ease than I did. I want ease
Speaker 1: if there doesn't have to be struggle. There doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be like this war with productivity and being busy
Speaker 1: and hustle, hustle, hustle for um me to you know,
Speaker 1: play hard or you know relax. No, I want to
Speaker 1: relax because I want to relax and I deserve to relax.
Speaker 1: It's my birthright to just relax. I love that about
Speaker 1: the knap ministry, and that's always a constant reminded me
Speaker 1: of the things that like, no, rest is your right,
Speaker 1: you need that. We don't have the nap industry. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, go check them out. So it's a real thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they teach a lot of healing through rest. And not
Speaker 1: always coming to be this culture and black women neither.
Speaker 1: Look black women behind it. I'm saying yeah, black men
Speaker 1: too though, because you know, it's like it's like we
Speaker 1: have something to prove. Look at Fatima's face, I'm not
Speaker 1: playing one of to day. She like, they don't do
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm doing it all. I can't tell
Speaker 1: them no yet She's absolutely they don't need shit. They
Speaker 1: don't know damn rest no not okay, Well then there's that.
Speaker 1: Um anybody else anything that you are looking forward to
Speaker 1: this year? Fatima? Yeah? Me. For me, I'm looking forward
Speaker 1: to just starting. I have so many projects I wanted
Speaker 1: to do. Oh I wanted to do, but because I'm
Speaker 1: always waiting for things to just be right, Like I'm
Speaker 1: always like I don't have I don't have this, so
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I don't have this, I can't
Speaker 1: do it. I don't have this, like I was so
Speaker 1: when I tell you, I was so consumed with things
Speaker 1: I do not have, like the That's what the Gratitude
Speaker 1: Challenge did for me, Like mainly is just looking at
Speaker 1: everything else I do have, to the point that projects
Speaker 1: that I want to start, I'm so concentrated, like let's
Speaker 1: say I want to I said I want to do
Speaker 1: videos or something like that. Oh I don't have this.
Speaker 1: Oh my room doesn't look this, or that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't start anything because I'm just
Speaker 1: so concentrated on things I don't have. I can't do
Speaker 1: this because I don't have this. So for me this year,
Speaker 1: and that's why I said I want to do the UM.
Speaker 1: I'm doing the UM the vision board because I feel like,
Speaker 1: once I do the vision board, my vision. I haven't
Speaker 1: done my vision for Once I did my vision board,
Speaker 1: I feel like I can really just see everything and
Speaker 1: be like, Wow, I'm gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna actually
Speaker 1: do a lot of things this year. And I wasn't.
Speaker 1: My mind wasn't even set on that, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: even because I'm just like, oh, I don't have this,
Speaker 1: so i can't really do that. I can't. So I'm
Speaker 1: really looking forward to just just the projects that I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start. Yeah, that's really what I'm looking forward to.
Speaker 1: That's awesome, and you know, there's a form of freedom
Speaker 1: in all of this, but before I get there, for me,
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to. It's funny that you said that
Speaker 1: I'm forward to, looking forward to living life and navigating
Speaker 1: through life. Um, I guess from a place of ease.
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to not operating from a space of lack.
Speaker 1: And I think that that is something that is something
Speaker 1: that oh, that's yeah, I do or I did, excuse me,
Speaker 1: correct the mundo, something that I did in the past.
Speaker 1: I operate from a space of lack. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: have enough money to do that. Well, I don't have this. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not small enough, I'm not smart enough. I don't
Speaker 1: have a degree. My hips are too big, my ankles
Speaker 1: are too ashy, my hair is too short. Maybe don't
Speaker 1: play with me and my ashley ankles. Okay, don't, But
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, just operating from a space
Speaker 1: not having enough, not being enough, not knowing enough, not
Speaker 1: looking like enough. No, I live a very abundant life.
Speaker 1: I have everything that I need. And once you realize
Speaker 1: that you have everything that you need, you realize that
Speaker 1: you get more. And I not because I want more,
Speaker 1: but also when you really when you appreciate the things
Speaker 1: that you have, you realize I don't really need anything else.
Speaker 1: And once you that's a part of acceptance to you.
Speaker 1: Once you accept like I'm I'm good over here, like
Speaker 1: I got everything that I need. That's when God is like,
Speaker 1: let me take some of these take some of these sprinkles.
Speaker 1: Put they put some sprinkles up on her life. I
Speaker 1: want the sprinkles. God, I'm hearing the sprinkles. It's so funny. Well,
Speaker 1: there's power and like even starting right because when you,
Speaker 1: regardless of what you have, when you at least take
Speaker 1: that step, it's like, all right, So she's serious about this.
Speaker 1: The rest of the stuff starts to make way. I
Speaker 1: work with women in a professional sense outside of you know,
Speaker 1: the bartending stuff. And every time we welcome new women
Speaker 1: into our organization, we talk about how we keep waiting
Speaker 1: for the right time. We wait for this to be right,
Speaker 1: money to be right, our side to be right. And
Speaker 1: like the quote ends is like time, it's waiting for
Speaker 1: the right us or something like that. And every time
Speaker 1: I've taken a leap, I'm always I'm nervous about I'm scared,
Speaker 1: but like the way things open up afterward, just by
Speaker 1: taking that step versus had I told myself, Oh, I
Speaker 1: don't have enough money to start this business. Oh it's
Speaker 1: a it's a pandemic. Nobody's going buy for me. Let
Speaker 1: me just not do it. Oh I don't know enough,
Speaker 1: or I haven't you know, my content isn't polished enough.
Speaker 1: Like we start somewhere and then we grow. The opportunities
Speaker 1: come when you're ready to take that leap. The more
Speaker 1: you say I don't have time or I can't, things
Speaker 1: won't come your way because you're saying I don't want it,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready. But when you open that space by saying,
Speaker 1: all right, let's start and get it done, no matter
Speaker 1: how it looks, and please do your vision board back
Speaker 1: to me, I will say I was skeptical, but I
Speaker 1: made one like I don't know five ten years ago,
Speaker 1: and I go back and look at it now because
Speaker 1: took a picture of them, like, oh it all didn't
Speaker 1: happen in that same year, but I planted those and
Speaker 1: I look at overtime like all of these things like
Speaker 1: now they've all come to fruition, even if I didn't
Speaker 1: realize I was working on it and like wanting to
Speaker 1: travel on all these things, like you put it out there,
Speaker 1: you spell it, it's a whole I don't know who
Speaker 1: actually come up what you're saying, but there's a whole
Speaker 1: thing about how write it out. Spelling is a spell
Speaker 1: and when you actually put it on paper or picturize
Speaker 1: it or it's not the right term, but you don't
Speaker 1: trying to say you start to visualize it, you start
Speaker 1: to make those things happen almost subconsciously, you open up
Speaker 1: that space for it. So that's what I'm yeah, absolutely no,
Speaker 1: that's what's gonna happen. The truth of the matter is
Speaker 1: that you know. And this is where I toggle back
Speaker 1: and forth with my own spiritual belief. But I feel
Speaker 1: like God in the universe is all one, it's all
Speaker 1: one thing, it's all one entity. And I feel like
Speaker 1: the things that you say are the things that like,
Speaker 1: that's a spell, or that is a wish, or that
Speaker 1: is a dream that you put out and once it
Speaker 1: comes out of your mouth, from your moth to God's
Speaker 1: ears or your moth to the universe's ears. And when
Speaker 1: you say these things, even when you say things that
Speaker 1: are not so positive, like I'm not small enough, well
Speaker 1: you probably won't lose any weight because you've already just
Speaker 1: said I'm not small Because that's all the universe is
Speaker 1: gonna hear. Is that I'm not small. You know, I
Speaker 1: don't have any money. Well, I'm not gonna give her
Speaker 1: no money because she don't have no money. And that's
Speaker 1: what she said. And your thoughts and your words are
Speaker 1: so powerful. And I like what you said, Gina, when
Speaker 1: you talked about spelling it out. It's like a spell.
Speaker 1: I don't you know people can write stuff in their
Speaker 1: phone all they want. I need a pen and I
Speaker 1: need some paper. I write it down. I write it down.
Speaker 1: I got to write stuff down. I do. And also
Speaker 1: you get the opportunity to go back and look at it,
Speaker 1: which is why this challenge was so important for me
Speaker 1: to write it down. And I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: rid of these things. I'm going to keep them. I'll
Speaker 1: probably keep them in this little gold jar because I
Speaker 1: need to keep them, you know what I mean, so
Speaker 1: that whenever I start to feel like I don't have enough,
Speaker 1: maybe I need to be reminded, like, bitch, you gotta
Speaker 1: running water. You got a cousin Julia. You got a
Speaker 1: cousin name Randall, cousin named Jasmine. You got essence to
Speaker 1: encourage you at work. You know, like all of these
Speaker 1: things that you have like tells you who you were
Speaker 1: right in that time too. And I'm gonna second um
Speaker 1: what Gina said about the vision board, because as you
Speaker 1: were talking, I thought about the vision board because I
Speaker 1: did one last year. I did one last year in January,
Speaker 1: and I kicked that motherfucker out of the park, except
Speaker 1: for the dating thing, you know. But anyway, ladies, I
Speaker 1: really appreciate you. Um. I would like for everyone, if
Speaker 1: you have any projects that you would like to pub
Speaker 1: I would like for you to talk about them. I
Speaker 1: am holding my uh collaboration mug with the Bedroom Bartender
Speaker 1: and Mantra mugs and it says Champagne two black owned
Speaker 1: businesses coming together like butt cheeks to make magic happen. Um.
Speaker 1: I stole that from Dave Chappelle. I think it was
Speaker 1: Dave Chapelle. And my mug says Champagne wishes and Prosecco budgets,
Speaker 1: and I love Champagne and I also love Prosecco. It's
Speaker 1: a big mug. I like it. Um. It's it makes
Speaker 1: me feel like I'm important because it's big, you know.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel like I'm important, like I have
Speaker 1: an important job to do. And where can they find them? Gina?
Speaker 1: You can find that on my website, on the bedroom
Speaker 1: Bartender dot com and how much do they cost? There
Speaker 1: are twenty five dollars and there's five other things too,
Speaker 1: So go over there and see what what resonates with you?
Speaker 1: What do you say? Yeah, we do. There's one that
Speaker 1: says it is after five in my mugu wine is
Speaker 1: always in season. Whiskey is a breakfast drink, well water wine,
Speaker 1: same difference that might be it. Yeah, all right, they're
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars. Again, go to www. Dot the bedroom
Speaker 1: bartender dot com. I will so put that in the
Speaker 1: show notes so that you can go and get yourself
Speaker 1: a mug in addition to buying a candle, because she
Speaker 1: has these candles there, or body scrub or body oil?
Speaker 1: Do you still have those? I still have some oil.
Speaker 1: I have basutuals as well. I have top shelf candles
Speaker 1: and classic candles. See that she's got all the things
Speaker 1: that you need for good times and you will find
Speaker 1: that information in the show notes. Anybody else have anything
Speaker 1: they want to talk about that they got going on? Crickets? No, nothing, Angel?
Speaker 1: You are an event planner, Yeah, I am an event planner.
Speaker 1: So if you guys have any parties, engagements weddings, anything
Speaker 1: that you are in need of event planning services for
Speaker 1: Leava Shari Events would love to be of service. And
Speaker 1: I can be found on Instagram at events by Lava Shari.
Speaker 1: Spell that out? Spell it out? Are you looking? Events?
Speaker 1: And then by in la a ter a b h
Speaker 1: e r I E okay, So Lava like lava out
Speaker 1: of the volcano. Yeah, so um it is a combination
Speaker 1: of my daughter and my mother's name. All my daughter's
Speaker 1: name is london Um london Ava, and my mother's name
Speaker 1: is Sherry. But when she liked to get fancied, you know,
Speaker 1: it's shetty, so I said, stands out, So I said Leava. Sure, okay,
Speaker 1: I like that. I like that. So just events by
Speaker 1: There's no underscore or anything. Nope, all all together events
Speaker 1: by Lava Shary. All right Instagram. We found that's because
Speaker 1: I've been drinking this mold wine. Um events by Lava
Speaker 1: Shari Ava Shari, and I will put that in the
Speaker 1: show notes as well. You are located in the Baltimore
Speaker 1: metropolitan area in the DMV. Yes, I am okay, and
Speaker 1: I want to thank all of you ladies for taking
Speaker 1: your time and energy to share your experience with the
Speaker 1: gratitude challenge with me. Do you guys think I should
Speaker 1: do this again? Yeah? Yes, absolutely absolutely yes, Okay for sure, Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, then I'll do it again and tell a
Speaker 1: friend to tell a friend to tell a friend. Get
Speaker 1: some more people up on here, and y'all can be pioneers.
Speaker 1: I want you, guys to know that you have blessed me.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for you because you have blessed me in
Speaker 1: ways that you don't even know, because you have kind
Speaker 1: of made me see a part of myself that that
Speaker 1: I know is there, but that I don't really acknowledge
Speaker 1: a lot, and I appreciate that. I'm grateful for you.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that you took your time at night when
Speaker 1: you could be sleep or watching programs on television, or
Speaker 1: snuggling with your doggies or your kiddo's or drinking your
Speaker 1: wine by yourself, whatever you like to do. But I
Speaker 1: appreciate you coming on here with me and talking to
Speaker 1: me about your experience. I appreciate it. I hope that
Speaker 1: it was a blessing to you the same day, whether
Speaker 1: it was a blessing to me. I hope that this
Speaker 1: gratitude challenge definitely. It sounds like it was a blessing
Speaker 1: to you. And I'm going to do it again because
Speaker 1: you guys said that it's a good idea. I'll just
Speaker 1: have to figure out when I do it again. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'll do it on March first, March first to April first,
Speaker 1: leading up to my birth adversary, which is like they
Speaker 1: hand me my purse. Birthday, which is April first. She'll
Speaker 1: be two years old. I know she's a toddler. She's
Speaker 1: a toddler. So thank you again, guys. I appreciate you,
Speaker 1: and I hope Angel that you start listening to the podcast. Well,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. And all of you go write a
Speaker 1: review for my show. Okay, Gina, if you don't, I
Speaker 1: am going to slash your tires. Okay, I know where
Speaker 1: you live. I was at your house today picking up
Speaker 1: my mold wine recipe kit. Okay. Um, ladies, have a
Speaker 1: good evening, enjoy the rest of your week, and thank
Speaker 1: you for part being a part of my season three
Speaker 1: premiere show. Thank you so much. Have a good evening, ya,
Speaker 1: thank you, nic Hold up, friends again, I have some
Speaker 1: news or I have some information. You just listen to
Speaker 1: this conversation that I have with these absolutely beautiful ladies,
Speaker 1: beautiful on the inside and on the outside, and their
Speaker 1: testimonies and the thing that they had to say about
Speaker 1: the gratitude challenge. But Essence told us about her favorite
Speaker 1: wine from Saint Michael's Winery, the Golly Wobbler, Gobby Wobbler,
Speaker 1: Golly Wobbler. She said that they did not ship. That
Speaker 1: is not true. And putting together this episode while I
Speaker 1: was editing and doing the production and recording the other parts,
Speaker 1: because I do all of it by myself. This is
Speaker 1: a one man show, a one one man show. So
Speaker 1: while I was doing the production and getting the link,
Speaker 1: I went to look. I said, let me just check.
Speaker 1: So I went to check their website, Saint Michael's Vineyard
Speaker 1: or Wineries website to see if they did ship, and
Speaker 1: they in fact do ship. They just may not ship
Speaker 1: to every state because of different laws around liquor and
Speaker 1: shipping liquor and states. So in the show notes you
Speaker 1: will find a link to Saint Michael's Winery. And if
Speaker 1: you want to try the wine that Essence suggested, the
Speaker 1: Golly Wobbler, It's probably a little sweet for my taste,
Speaker 1: so I'm going to pass. But if you want to
Speaker 1: try it, I put a link in the show notes
Speaker 1: so that you could check it out. Okay, and if
Speaker 1: you're local, you can find out what liquor stores or
Speaker 1: stores or whatever carry it. You're welcome because I care.
Speaker 1: I take the extra step happy Golly Wobbler drinking. So
Speaker 1: for today's stray Faxed question, this is an interesting one
Speaker 1: as it is very pertinent and relevant to the times
Speaker 1: that we are living in. This question comes from Trina
Speaker 1: and Trina lives in good old Baltimore City, and Trina says,
Speaker 1: Haye me Walker big fan of the show and your
Speaker 1: perspective on topics, so I'm curious to see what your
Speaker 1: take is on my situation. Dating in the past two
Speaker 1: years has been interesting, to say the least. I've been
Speaker 1: trying to date as safely as possible amidst COVID nineteen
Speaker 1: double masked, double vaxed, waxed and boosted. I've been casually
Speaker 1: texting and facetiming a mutual friend, and he mentioned taking
Speaker 1: me to dinner on the twenty fourth for this month
Speaker 1: friends going to dinner. I wonder if he meant it
Speaker 1: in like a dainty dainty way or in like a
Speaker 1: hey girl, let's go out, or like a hasis, let's
Speaker 1: go out, or Yo, let's go out. Anyway, that was
Speaker 1: my sidebar I, of course casually slid in COVID nineteen restrictions,
Speaker 1: the rising numbers in all of that jazz to get
Speaker 1: the scoop on his vaccine status, Mimi, Not only is
Speaker 1: he an anti vaxer, he hates masks because of how
Speaker 1: restricting they are, even though he had COVID on Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: Chelly crazy. Needless to say, I am a little perplexed.
Speaker 1: Regardless of his political, religious, and or societal beliefs, we
Speaker 1: have to stay safe. You know, what do you think
Speaker 1: should I give it a try? I'm mostly leaning towards no,
Speaker 1: just because I think that's a perspective issue that I
Speaker 1: can't get passed. And again, I understand beliefs, but to
Speaker 1: be an anti vaxer, I don't know. Girl, God knows
Speaker 1: what could be next, Mimi, help a girl out, Give
Speaker 1: this first date a chance? Or is this a red flag?
Speaker 1: Check this out training? If you went to and or
Speaker 1: through all those precautions to ensure your safety, why would
Speaker 1: you jeopardize it for a free dinner? Okay, because I'm
Speaker 1: almost positive that you can take yourself to dinner, and
Speaker 1: if you can't, go to the grocery store or find
Speaker 1: somebody else who was vaxed that can take you to dinner. Okay,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, not saying that you
Speaker 1: have to judge people based on their vaccine status, but
Speaker 1: it's about safety. You have to think about yourself, the
Speaker 1: people that you love, the people that you're around, because
Speaker 1: you can still get it right and pass it on
Speaker 1: other people. And I don't know if you have any
Speaker 1: elderly people around you, or people would compromise immune systems
Speaker 1: or underlying health conditions. At the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's not worth it. I don't really got myself going
Speaker 1: on a date, like I don't think I would go
Speaker 1: out with a dude who's not vaccinated, and actually says
Speaker 1: I am recently back into the dating pool and I
Speaker 1: am on one of the dating apps, and that is
Speaker 1: actually one of the things on your profile. Now. One
Speaker 1: of the things on the profile is whether or not
Speaker 1: you're vaccinated, and you can see that personally, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do it. If he's a friend of yours, there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with being his friend. Another thing that you could do, though,
Speaker 1: is that if you really like them or you want
Speaker 1: to hang out with them. I mean, the only thing
Speaker 1: is that you live in Baltimore and it's the dead
Speaker 1: of winter. I was gonna say you could do something outside,
Speaker 1: but I ain't even gonna lie with this new Omegatron variant,
Speaker 1: like it ain't playing games, it ain't playing fair. It
Speaker 1: ain't like the original the og COVID stream where you
Speaker 1: know you got to be in close contact. This junk
Speaker 1: right here is out of control. So personally, I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, maybe you could go like ice skating or
Speaker 1: go eat somewhere outside, but it's brick cole outside. Anybody
Speaker 1: trying to eat outside? The hell? What the hell? That's
Speaker 1: my new favorite sound on social media. What the hell?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Says I would venture to say no,
Speaker 1: just no. If he gets vaccinated, and I would, I would.
Speaker 1: I'm asking for people's cards at this point. Are you vaccinated?
Speaker 1: Can I see your vaccination card? Because I can't play around.
Speaker 1: I have elderly people in my family, I have asthma,
Speaker 1: I work with kids, I work with elderly people or
Speaker 1: older people, you know, the older people on my staff.
Speaker 1: I'm not playing around, and quite frankly says, I don't
Speaker 1: think you should either. It ain't that serious. And if
Speaker 1: he is your friend, he should understand. And if he
Speaker 1: doesn't kick the Bama to the curb, go out with
Speaker 1: somebody else that got a vaccination and that's that. And
Speaker 1: if he got a problem with him, tell him. I said,
Speaker 1: so why friends in Kim for today's quote fore we
Speaker 1: got to do better is from none other than Queen
Speaker 1: Auntie Maya Angelou. And I was actually very intentional about
Speaker 1: everything that I did for this show, being the first
Speaker 1: show of twenty twenty two, and I wanted to make
Speaker 1: sure that everything that I discussed, everything that I brought up,
Speaker 1: everything that I talked about, everything that I shared with
Speaker 1: you guys was something that really really affected like my
Speaker 1: heart or my spirit in a positive way. And I
Speaker 1: can only hope that me sharing it with you kind
Speaker 1: of like sprinkles. Think of like Michael Jackson and the
Speaker 1: Jackson five and the can You Feel It video where
Speaker 1: they sprinkled the fireworks and glitter all over the earth,
Speaker 1: all over the planet. That's how I look at it.
Speaker 1: That's how I look at me doing this show period.
Speaker 1: If you want me to be really honest, I'm throwing
Speaker 1: my sprinkles and my glitters out hoping that it touches somebody.
Speaker 1: And so this quote by Queen Auntie Maya Angelou is
Speaker 1: one that I want you to really think about, and
Speaker 1: it is something that I want for my life. I
Speaker 1: want to always remember this every day for the next
Speaker 1: well it's January fifteenth, fifteen minus three hundred and sixty
Speaker 1: five or three hundred and fifty. So if you're listening
Speaker 1: on January fifteenth when the show is released, which I
Speaker 1: hope you are, for the next three hundred and fifty days,
Speaker 1: for the entire year, for every day actually for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life. I want to take this into consideration.
Speaker 1: And the quote is I wish that I could do
Speaker 1: it Maya Angelou impersonation, because I would totally do it
Speaker 1: right now, but I will not even try. If one
Speaker 1: is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.
Speaker 1: Let's send in it for a second. If one is lucky,
Speaker 1: a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. Don't
Speaker 1: stop dreaming, friends, and can dream as big as you can.
Speaker 1: Let it be a fantasy. Let it be something that
Speaker 1: you cannot in a million years, that you would not
Speaker 1: ever think that could come true for you. Dream big
Speaker 1: because you deserve it, you are worth it. Just like
Speaker 1: the jam, the conversation that I had with the ladies
Speaker 1: where we talked about gratitude. Not necessarily the drink the poloma,
Speaker 1: but I am very intentional about the fact that that
Speaker 1: poloma has one hundred and eighty calories and I will
Speaker 1: not be drinking it. I'm gonna finish this four pack,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. But the jam, the conversation, and you
Speaker 1: know this quote, I'm very intentional intentionality and intention is
Speaker 1: one of my words for twenty twenty two. Every year,
Speaker 1: my cousin Julia and my aunt and I we think
Speaker 1: of a word that we want to be our focus.
Speaker 1: And it dawned on me that I need to be
Speaker 1: more intentional about how I choose my word, because God
Speaker 1: gonna give you just what you ask for. The universe
Speaker 1: is gonna give you exactly what you ask for. What
Speaker 1: you say you want, It's going to give it to you. Now,
Speaker 1: whether it how it's deciphered or how it's received is
Speaker 1: a different story, but asking you shall receive, so it
Speaker 1: being intentional intentionality, It's one of my words. The other
Speaker 1: two I will save for myself or for another episode.
Speaker 1: But I want you to dream big because I'm dreaming
Speaker 1: big in twenty twenty two. I am being very intentional
Speaker 1: about my dreams, my thoughts, the things that I want
Speaker 1: for myself, the things that I want for the people
Speaker 1: around me, the things that I want for the people
Speaker 1: that I love. I am intentional about those things. And
Speaker 1: as Queen Auntie Maya Angelus said, one more time for
Speaker 1: the people in the back, if one is lucky, a
Speaker 1: solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. All right, friends,
Speaker 1: and ken first and foremost, ain't nothing changed but the
Speaker 1: weather and the numbers on the year. Okay. I want to,
Speaker 1: of course thank God first, because as we know, God
Speaker 1: is supreme, and I truly recognize, appreciate, and understand that
Speaker 1: I am blessed for the grace that God extends to
Speaker 1: my black ass every single day of my life. I
Speaker 1: am grateful for me, for Mimi. Mimi is grateful for Mimi,
Speaker 1: for all the hard work that I put in, for
Speaker 1: being consistent, for being determined, and for dreaming big, and
Speaker 1: for not being bound by my own limitations and fears.
Speaker 1: I'm showing gratitude for me. Showing gratitude for oneself is
Speaker 1: a form of self care, and we all know that
Speaker 1: here at hand me my purse, we are staunch advocates
Speaker 1: for self care. I am thankful for my family, my friends,
Speaker 1: my friends and ken you guys, my supporters, and of course,
Speaker 1: most importantly, every single one of you out there that
Speaker 1: is listening to this show. I love and appreciate you
Speaker 1: guys so much, and it is nothing short of an
Speaker 1: honor to share my time and my energy with you
Speaker 1: every single time that we get to do this, especially
Speaker 1: if you continue to come back and spend your time
Speaker 1: with me, because I recognize you ain't got to do this,
Speaker 1: you ain't got to listen to this show, but you
Speaker 1: do it. And because you do it, and I appreciate you,
Speaker 1: and I am grateful. I look forward to the next
Speaker 1: time that we get to do this, and that will
Speaker 1: be on February, the first I know dominate the Year
Speaker 1: of our Lord, twenty twenty two. And before you go,
Speaker 1: I want you to hold on for a second, and
Speaker 1: before you hit that X or x it out of
Speaker 1: whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this, I
Speaker 1: want you to stop what you're doing, and if you
Speaker 1: haven't already done, so look for the subscribe or follow
Speaker 1: button and click on it if that is an option
Speaker 1: on the streaming services where you are listening. I want
Speaker 1: you to get on over to Instagram and follow me
Speaker 1: at hand Me My Purse Underscore Podcasts, and you can
Speaker 1: also follow me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore Podcasts and
Speaker 1: on Facebook just search Handing My Purse podcast. I've been
Speaker 1: a lot more active on Twitter since the Christmas break.
Speaker 1: During winter break, I was a lot more active. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to keep the momentum up and stay
Speaker 1: on Twitter and you know, keep this party going. If
Speaker 1: you listen on Apple Podcasts, Stitch your Pandora, or any
Speaker 1: other medium that allows you to do so, please take
Speaker 1: the time out to rate the show or give it
Speaker 1: a thumbs up. Be sure to share hand Me my
Speaker 1: Purse with your friends, loved ones, and even people you
Speaker 1: don't like, because the best way for people to find
Speaker 1: out about the show is by you, guys telling them
Speaker 1: all about it. So tell a friend to tell to
Speaker 1: what tell a friend? Also, friends and ken take a
Speaker 1: few minutes please to just leave a review of the show,
Speaker 1: like sometimes I'll hear from you guys and I'm totally
Speaker 1: shocked that people listen to it. I mean, like, I know,
Speaker 1: you know, I look at my own download number, so
Speaker 1: I know somebody is listening. People are listening all over
Speaker 1: the world. Big shout out to Germany because twenty twenty
Speaker 1: one Germany was tuned in, Saint Croix in the Virgin
Speaker 1: Islands was tuned in. It's probably you, saida I believe
Speaker 1: that it is, but maybe you told a friend to
Speaker 1: tell a friend, and maybe it's somebody else. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Saint Croix, the Bahamas all the time, Australia, Germany, Canada
Speaker 1: all the time shows hand me my purse love. Shout
Speaker 1: out to you, Jabari and somebody else. It's not just you,
Speaker 1: but somebody else is listening. But shout out to you.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Germany. I don't know a Brazil. I
Speaker 1: don't know who's listening in Germany, but shout out to you.
Speaker 1: Reach out to me. I want to know who you
Speaker 1: are in Germany, in Frankfurt that is consistently listening to
Speaker 1: the show. I appreciate it, and it may not. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's just one person, because just based on
Speaker 1: the numbers, it's not. But reach out please, I want
Speaker 1: to know who you are. Please anyway, take a few
Speaker 1: minutes to leave a review for the show. Send me
Speaker 1: a DM on Instagram. If you don't want to leave
Speaker 1: it on Apple Podcasts, send me a DM on Twitter,
Speaker 1: comment under a Facebook post, even if it's your friend
Speaker 1: or loved one of mine. Leave it on my personal
Speaker 1: Facebook page. Send me a DM on Facebook, or take
Speaker 1: the traditional route and leave an actual formal review on
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. I would truly appreciate it because
Speaker 1: hearing from you really warms my heart and it makes
Speaker 1: me smile, and it makes me feel good about the
Speaker 1: work that I'm doing. It is kind of like fuel
Speaker 1: to keep this car, this train, this machine going. So
Speaker 1: remember subscribe and or fall of the show so that
Speaker 1: you're the first to know when I drop a new episode,
Speaker 1: which is the first and fifteenth of every month. Follow
Speaker 1: hand me my Purse on social media, rate and review
Speaker 1: the show, and tell your friends and your ken about
Speaker 1: the show. Show notes are always available at hand me
Speaker 1: my Purse dot busprout dot com, and I highly suggest
Speaker 1: that you get into the habit of reading the show notes.
Speaker 1: They have all the links to the things that I
Speaker 1: talk about in the show. Also just an fyi, the
Speaker 1: opening and closing theme music is provided by none other
Speaker 1: than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Please, friends and can
Speaker 1: submit your questions for the straight fact segment to Hello
Speaker 1: at hand Me My Purse dot com or send me
Speaker 1: a DM on Instagram or Twitter. Who knows your question
Speaker 1: may be the next one featured on an upcoming show.
Speaker 1: And don't you ever forget. You can expect a brand
Speaker 1: new episode of Hand Me My Purse the podcast on
Speaker 1: the first and fifteenth of every single month, so the
Speaker 1: same way you expected those checks on the first and
Speaker 1: the fifteenth early in the morning. You already know your
Speaker 1: girl is gonna have you covered on those days again
Speaker 1: the first and fifteenth of every month on your podcast
Speaker 1: streaming services such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. These are
Speaker 1: for my international friends and can and anywhere else you
Speaker 1: may even think that you can find it, or you
Speaker 1: can just go straight to my bus Sproute website and
Speaker 1: find it there. I look forward to you, looking forward
Speaker 1: to listening and on my list