1 00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:27,370 Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hello, I'd like to welcome to the show, Jackie Cove. Jackie. 2 00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:32,330 Speaker 1: It's a new season. I'm with a new company, Pushkin Industries, 3 00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:34,729 Speaker 1: and I thought it might be nice for you to, 4 00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:37,890 Speaker 1: you know, tell everyone how much the show is meant 5 00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:38,089 Speaker 1: to you. 6 00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:39,089 Speaker 2: Do you? 7 00:00:39,090 --> 00:00:41,730 Speaker 1: People look at my face right now we're on the telephone. 8 00:00:42,090 --> 00:00:43,409 Speaker 3: Could you imagine what kind of look I have on 9 00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:43,730 Speaker 3: my face? 10 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:44,089 Speaker 2: Right now? 11 00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:48,690 Speaker 1: Ecstasy discussed Heavyweight is back, Mamala. They thought we were 12 00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:53,170 Speaker 1: down for the count. But what's this? Oh oh with 13 00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:57,609 Speaker 1: a right now left? Heavyweight's back, pushing it with Pushkin, Mamala, 14 00:00:57,930 --> 00:01:01,450 Speaker 1: Bushkin Industries. I got okay, you go with that. 15 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,690 Speaker 4: Bye bye. 16 00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:14,290 Speaker 1: From Bushkin Industries. I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight 17 00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:23,250 Speaker 1: today's episode. Eda, right after the. 18 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:40,210 Speaker 4: Break, all right, you're ready, you're rolling, You got levels, Mimei, mamomu. 19 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:41,250 Speaker 4: Okay go. 20 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:45,650 Speaker 1: This is Gregor. You might know him from such previous 21 00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:50,010 Speaker 1: episodes as Gregor. Gregor is one of my oldest friends, 22 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,050 Speaker 1: and today he's coming to me with a problem. 23 00:01:53,370 --> 00:01:55,690 Speaker 4: I'll take it from the top, Okay. So I have 24 00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:58,450 Speaker 4: two parents, Milton and Eda. 25 00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:02,650 Speaker 1: Edda and Milton are both pushing ninety and Gregor's problem 26 00:02:02,970 --> 00:02:05,250 Speaker 1: is that they refuse to move out of their house. 27 00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:09,850 Speaker 1: It's the same three story Victorian Gregor grew up. He 28 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:12,970 Speaker 1: was twelve when the family first moved in. He still 29 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,369 Speaker 1: remembers the excitement as they unloaded boxes from the moving 30 00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:18,970 Speaker 1: truck or moving trucks. 31 00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:23,730 Speaker 4: You know, normal people move with like a big giant 32 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,130 Speaker 4: eighteen wheeler moving truck. I believe when we moved we 33 00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:27,570 Speaker 4: had six moving. 34 00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:32,130 Speaker 1: Trucks, one for the family's belongings, the other five for 35 00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:37,650 Speaker 1: the collections. Some people collect coins, some people collect comic books. 36 00:02:38,210 --> 00:02:41,530 Speaker 1: Gregor's mother, Etta, collects collections. 37 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:46,970 Speaker 4: She has like maybe two hundred egg beaters, antique egg beaters. 38 00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:49,970 Speaker 4: She has you know what a bisk nodter is. 39 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:50,889 Speaker 5: No. 40 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:55,530 Speaker 4: In occupied Japan, people bought these little figurines where the 41 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,730 Speaker 4: head would wobble back. 42 00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:59,090 Speaker 1: And forth like a bubble headed doll, something like that. 43 00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:01,770 Speaker 4: Anyway, she probably has two thousand bisc mounters. 44 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:05,930 Speaker 1: Then there are the nineteenth century weaving looms, the handmade baskets, 45 00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:10,850 Speaker 1: the medieval scythes. Eta airlic Is artist and her collections 46 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:14,810 Speaker 1: are the source of her inspiration. Edis's beauty in everything 47 00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:18,890 Speaker 1: and in her hands, everything becomes art. She'll sculpt lint 48 00:03:18,930 --> 00:03:21,850 Speaker 1: from the dryer. She'll put googly eyes on a splatter 49 00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:23,090 Speaker 1: of dried bird poop. 50 00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:27,450 Speaker 4: My mother has been unbelievably prolific in making art for 51 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:30,450 Speaker 4: like the last thirty five years, to a degree where 52 00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:33,609 Speaker 4: now the living room is like full to the brim 53 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,890 Speaker 4: with a million pieces of art, and every week she 54 00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:37,810 Speaker 4: probably makes five or ten more pieces of art. 55 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:41,570 Speaker 1: None of this would be a problem except that a large, 56 00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:46,410 Speaker 1: cluttered house is becoming increasingly dangerous for Gregor's elderly parents. 57 00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:50,250 Speaker 4: I fear the more conventional fears. I fear my mother 58 00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:52,690 Speaker 4: falling down a flight of stairs, or my father. I mean, 59 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,410 Speaker 4: there's all kinds of dark things that can happen in 60 00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:55,610 Speaker 4: a house full of staircases. 61 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:59,130 Speaker 1: And so Gregor wants to move his parents into a 62 00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:03,050 Speaker 1: smaller apartment, something more manageable. That's his plan. 63 00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:08,330 Speaker 6: Yeah, that's his plan. But that's not my plan. This 64 00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:13,610 Speaker 6: is eda The practical thing is, we can't be in 65 00:04:13,610 --> 00:04:15,490 Speaker 6: the house too much longer. I'm eighty eight. 66 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,810 Speaker 1: Yeah, but to move out. 67 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,690 Speaker 6: Of the house isn't simply a question of selling the furniture. 68 00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:25,729 Speaker 6: It's my god, what do we do with all this? 69 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:30,169 Speaker 1: All this all the collections is what's keeping Eta in 70 00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:33,610 Speaker 1: the house. And of all her many collections, of all 71 00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:37,249 Speaker 1: her milking stools and antique rolling pins, it's her collection 72 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:41,130 Speaker 1: of fragile, colorful bottles that is perhaps the biggest impediment 73 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:46,130 Speaker 1: to moving. By Gregor's estimate, Eta has thousands wine bottles, 74 00:04:46,210 --> 00:04:50,529 Speaker 1: perfume bottles, all decanters, bottles washed up from the bottom 75 00:04:50,529 --> 00:04:54,289 Speaker 1: of the ocean. As well as being an artist, Eta 76 00:04:54,369 --> 00:04:57,490 Speaker 1: is a Buddhist and her bottles are not just bottles 77 00:04:57,729 --> 00:05:01,489 Speaker 1: but a series of meditations. Because on each of the bottles, 78 00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:05,969 Speaker 1: in fancy fonds and careful calligraphy, Eta places a message 79 00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:07,969 Speaker 1: in the form of a zen like riddle. 80 00:05:09,289 --> 00:05:15,010 Speaker 6: Noose to titropuce and madly dance upon it. 81 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:15,849 Speaker 4: Isn't it gorgeous? 82 00:05:15,969 --> 00:05:16,489 Speaker 2: Very nice? 83 00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:19,489 Speaker 6: But how's about this one? It's a black popple with 84 00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:25,130 Speaker 6: gold calligraphy, and it has the first letter shows a breath, 85 00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,729 Speaker 6: somebody blowing a breath. Do you see it? 86 00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,770 Speaker 1: It really does look like a breath is blowing. That's 87 00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:30,289 Speaker 1: by design. 88 00:05:30,409 --> 00:05:32,770 Speaker 6: There you go, there you go. You want me to 89 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:33,969 Speaker 6: give that away for nothing? 90 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:41,770 Speaker 1: Other inscriptions are stop schlepping your old being into the future, 91 00:05:42,369 --> 00:05:47,050 Speaker 1: or we cling to illusions of control. After hearing a few, 92 00:05:47,609 --> 00:05:51,010 Speaker 1: I start to recognize a theme. All the bottles bear 93 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:55,369 Speaker 1: messages imploring one to let go. Yet Eda is incapable 94 00:05:55,369 --> 00:05:58,529 Speaker 1: of letting go of the very bottles doing the imploring, 95 00:05:59,369 --> 00:06:02,250 Speaker 1: or much of anything else. There is a little bit 96 00:06:02,289 --> 00:06:04,570 Speaker 1: of a paradox, or there's something to kind of be 97 00:06:04,849 --> 00:06:05,449 Speaker 1: struggling with. 98 00:06:05,529 --> 00:06:10,570 Speaker 6: Then you're very, very sharp. That is exactly see, exactly true. 99 00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:16,610 Speaker 6: These works would talk about being stuck with the grasping 100 00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,849 Speaker 6: level I suffer from that. 101 00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:22,929 Speaker 7: I could leave tomorrow. 102 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:28,249 Speaker 1: This is Gregor's dad, Milt. If the taxi pulled up 103 00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:30,250 Speaker 1: right now, you would you would jump in. 104 00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,210 Speaker 7: I'm ready to go. 105 00:06:31,330 --> 00:06:32,210 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll stop you there. 106 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,810 Speaker 8: He's never taken a tax in his life. 107 00:06:33,849 --> 00:06:35,169 Speaker 1: But if I pulled up that. 108 00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:41,969 Speaker 7: Uber duber so I don't get attached to furniture and 109 00:06:42,089 --> 00:06:44,330 Speaker 7: bottles and stuff, I'll. 110 00:06:44,089 --> 00:06:47,409 Speaker 8: Just reinforce that point that while my father made positive 111 00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:49,849 Speaker 8: that he's a Taoist and not attached to anything, he 112 00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:53,650 Speaker 8: is very much complicit lmentlessly bringing home the raw material 113 00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:56,929 Speaker 8: to which my mother, you know, turns the art out. 114 00:06:57,210 --> 00:07:02,849 Speaker 1: When was the last time you brought something home melt yesterday? 115 00:07:03,049 --> 00:07:05,690 Speaker 7: I'm always interested in what she's doing, and I often 116 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:09,049 Speaker 7: find the raw materials walking around in the woods or anywhere, 117 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:12,890 Speaker 7: fine stuff. Her only requirement is if I find something, 118 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:16,489 Speaker 7: it has to have what she calls a charm. 119 00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:20,490 Speaker 1: As for Melt, what he's charmed by, exceedingly charmed by, 120 00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:24,330 Speaker 1: is that a Milt is a poet, and after over 121 00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:27,730 Speaker 1: sixty years of marriage, he still writes poems about her, 122 00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:31,930 Speaker 1: rhapsodizing about the way she creates art or cooks, or 123 00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:35,290 Speaker 1: the way she dances. Milt says he can watch Eda 124 00:07:35,369 --> 00:07:38,530 Speaker 1: dance all night. He just doesn't understand her being so 125 00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:40,330 Speaker 1: chained to her belongings. 126 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:41,650 Speaker 4: I'm stuck. 127 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:46,610 Speaker 6: But I am not coming up with the solution that's 128 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:52,890 Speaker 6: any better, am I? Yeah, except dying, And that's not 129 00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:57,490 Speaker 6: a solution. No, it's not a solution for greg He's 130 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,010 Speaker 6: left holding the whole. 131 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:03,249 Speaker 1: Thing of Milton. At his three kids, Gregor is perhaps 132 00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:06,170 Speaker 1: the one most ready to serve the child his parents 133 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,250 Speaker 1: handed to do list when he comes to visit. 134 00:08:08,929 --> 00:08:12,210 Speaker 6: I mean, he talks me, and that's because he has 135 00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:16,770 Speaker 6: meanness in him. I'm not saying he doesn't, but he's 136 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:20,410 Speaker 6: also a very kind, giving, generous, loving person. 137 00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:21,050 Speaker 2: Yes he is. 138 00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:33,050 Speaker 6: Yeah, Yeah, don't tell him, I said, so. 139 00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:34,570 Speaker 4: In action is a choice not doing anything. Something's bound 140 00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:38,250 Speaker 4: to happen sooner or later, and just sort of watch 141 00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:41,250 Speaker 4: the secondhand sweep around the clock face until somebody's dead 142 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:45,930 Speaker 4: is the most passive and weakest possible way to exist. 143 00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:49,810 Speaker 4: And it just feels like, you know, the Damoclean Sword 144 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,130 Speaker 4: of mortality is coming, and all we're going to do 145 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,170 Speaker 4: is sit here and watch Rachel Maddow until it cuts 146 00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:54,690 Speaker 4: our head off. 147 00:08:56,930 --> 00:09:00,490 Speaker 1: And so, because Eda can't let go, Gregor wants my 148 00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:04,450 Speaker 1: help in pulling off a most extravagant workaround, one that 149 00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:07,650 Speaker 1: will allow Eda to both keep her stuff and still 150 00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:10,770 Speaker 1: move out. It's a plan of action that Gregor wants 151 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:11,610 Speaker 1: to present to her. 152 00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:15,090 Speaker 4: What if you don't get rid of your possessions and 153 00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,130 Speaker 4: we make a museum of your stuff? 154 00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:23,730 Speaker 1: Gregor explains to me the details. It seems that in 155 00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:26,690 Speaker 1: the nineteen sixties, Etta and Milt about a two hundred 156 00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:30,250 Speaker 1: year old farmhouse with no running water or indoor plumbing. 157 00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:34,050 Speaker 1: Gregor's plan is to convert the barn into the Eta 158 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:39,130 Speaker 1: b airlike museum, convincing one's mother to downsize by way 159 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:43,050 Speaker 1: of a feral farmhouse museum that by Gregor's own admission 160 00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:46,210 Speaker 1: is probably a breeding ground for the haunt of virus. 161 00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:50,450 Speaker 1: Has all the makings of a classic Kakammi scheme. But 162 00:09:50,570 --> 00:10:09,370 Speaker 1: this is just the beginning for his plan, and to 163 00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:12,770 Speaker 1: build a museum to work, Gregor will need his siblings 164 00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:16,929 Speaker 1: on board, so, as is emotional envoy, I begin by 165 00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:21,010 Speaker 1: phoning his sister Lexi. Lexi is the level headed one 166 00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:23,290 Speaker 1: of the three, and I want to get her read 167 00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:26,170 Speaker 1: on the plan. I mean, is it realistic that he'll 168 00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:29,650 Speaker 1: be able to turn the barn into a museum like that? 169 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:38,930 Speaker 1: Perhaps this plan is a bit half baked, but I 170 00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:42,050 Speaker 1: figure I might have more luck getting Gregor's brother Dmitri 171 00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:45,170 Speaker 1: on board. Dmitri has never been afraid of a scheme 172 00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:49,730 Speaker 1: that runs a little pink on the inside. So I 173 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,290 Speaker 1: give him a call. We haven't spoken since I moved 174 00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:56,210 Speaker 1: from New York, where Dmitri lives, to Minnesota. 175 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:59,850 Speaker 2: I hate to see a Minneapolis area code when you call. 176 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,690 Speaker 2: It makes me sad. 177 00:11:02,170 --> 00:11:03,930 Speaker 1: Your business doesn't bring you to Minnesota. 178 00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:06,850 Speaker 2: I'm guessing it does sometimes. I interviewed Prince for a 179 00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:09,610 Speaker 2: cover story. Ever earned one may be very trap both prints. 180 00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:10,330 Speaker 2: He's very touching. 181 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:14,170 Speaker 1: Dmitri is a personal trainer who's kickboxed his way across Thailand. 182 00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:17,210 Speaker 1: He's also a journalist who interviews celebrities. 183 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,850 Speaker 2: So I went there, waited all day for the interview. 184 00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:22,770 Speaker 1: And a musician who had a song go platinum six 185 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,410 Speaker 1: times in Belgium. 186 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,250 Speaker 2: And he was like, hey, you want to jam and 187 00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:26,410 Speaker 2: I was like okay. 188 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:28,730 Speaker 9: So I wound up actually jamming with Larry Grant and 189 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:34,730 Speaker 9: Prince for like twenty minutes. 190 00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:36,970 Speaker 2: What that was one sence. 191 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,850 Speaker 1: Before Dmitri you can launch into his next sentence, I 192 00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:45,449 Speaker 1: jump in. So your brother Gregor. 193 00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:46,250 Speaker 2: I'm familiar with him. 194 00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,650 Speaker 1: He has his plan, which maybe you're also familiar with. 195 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:54,170 Speaker 1: When I'm finished rehashing Gregor's museum plan, Dmitri offers a 196 00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,050 Speaker 1: laundry list of issues. 197 00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:59,770 Speaker 9: Sons of getting Lemez's walking out of your part of 198 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:02,010 Speaker 9: the barn because it's high grassed, a lot of deer 199 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,130 Speaker 9: getting poison ivy. 200 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,530 Speaker 2: So there's also like a horrible black mold. Because as 201 00:12:06,530 --> 00:12:07,970 Speaker 2: you know, the farmhouse burned down. 202 00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:10,770 Speaker 9: My I'll buy it baker friend THEO stayed there and 203 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,930 Speaker 9: lit a fire in the roof and the whole house 204 00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:13,450 Speaker 9: burned down in the. 205 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,850 Speaker 1: Wad and along with his friend Theo's trouble. There was 206 00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:18,890 Speaker 1: also his friend Sonem's trouble in that cursed place. 207 00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:21,490 Speaker 9: My friend, who spent twenty five years as a Buddhist 208 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,210 Speaker 9: monk under the dolly Lema, had to use a broom 209 00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,290 Speaker 9: to fight off a very large raccoon that was. 210 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,929 Speaker 2: In the house and was like growling at us and 211 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,130 Speaker 2: like his harrifind. 212 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,690 Speaker 1: But for Dimitri, even more daunting than the rabid raccoons 213 00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:36,210 Speaker 1: is changing his mother's mind on the matter. Whenever he's 214 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:39,770 Speaker 1: trying to clear space in his parents' home, it refills overnight, 215 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:44,730 Speaker 1: suggesting Eda's problem can't be solved by physical means. Instead, 216 00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:47,050 Speaker 1: he thinks the problem has to be attacked at its 217 00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:50,610 Speaker 1: psychological root. She needs to learn how to let go, 218 00:12:51,410 --> 00:12:54,170 Speaker 1: and for this Dmitri has just the solution. 219 00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:58,170 Speaker 2: Well, maybe hypnosis. 220 00:13:00,090 --> 00:13:02,290 Speaker 9: It stopped her from smoking, which is probably a more 221 00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:05,410 Speaker 9: powerful psychological and physical addiction than collecting things. 222 00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,010 Speaker 1: Eda was a packadet smoker, a habit she hung on 223 00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:10,530 Speaker 1: for nearly thirty years. 224 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,370 Speaker 9: Our friend, who was a hypnotist, said I can hypnotize you, 225 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,930 Speaker 9: and she went into the session thinking this isn't gonna work. 226 00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:18,210 Speaker 2: The whole time the hypnosis was going on. She was like, 227 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,490 Speaker 2: this isn't working, This isn't working, and then she walked 228 00:13:20,490 --> 00:13:24,570 Speaker 2: out and never smoked again. He was an interesting person too. 229 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,650 Speaker 2: His name is Saul Feldstein. 230 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:28,210 Speaker 9: He actually had one of his eyeballs was like hanging 231 00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,210 Speaker 9: out of his face, and like it was like a 232 00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:33,170 Speaker 9: sort of early commune hippie thing, and like. 233 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:36,569 Speaker 1: Having grown up on TV sitcoms of the nineteen seventies, 234 00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:40,290 Speaker 1: I'm well aware of the power of hypnosis. 235 00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:40,610 Speaker 2: Hanging out of his face. 236 00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:44,210 Speaker 1: Hypnosis gave Fred Flintstone the self control to stop beating 237 00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:48,690 Speaker 1: Brontosaurus Berger Communie. It gave the Fonds the confidence that 238 00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:52,410 Speaker 1: jumped Snake Canyon on his motorcycle his eyeballs. As a boy, 239 00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:55,050 Speaker 1: I always wondered what it would feel like to have 240 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:58,370 Speaker 1: my full potential unlocked through the hypnotic arts. 241 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,850 Speaker 9: Hanging out of his face, And he was very successful 242 00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:01,850 Speaker 9: as a hypnotist. 243 00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:08,650 Speaker 1: Wow. Unlike building a museum, hypnosis requires neither time effort. 244 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:12,490 Speaker 1: Are those awful stanchions that snap back with that loud 245 00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:15,930 Speaker 1: thwacking sound that make everyone turn around and stare at you. 246 00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:20,370 Speaker 1: Fully convinced that Saul Feldstein is the solution to all 247 00:14:20,370 --> 00:14:23,770 Speaker 1: of our problems and that museums belong in a museum. 248 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:26,250 Speaker 1: Dimitri and I say our goodbyes. 249 00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:37,250 Speaker 4: We're slating in. On part two, Johnny discusses post talking 250 00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:38,610 Speaker 4: to Dmitri. Here we go. 251 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:42,450 Speaker 1: I need to tell Gregor that I like Dmitri's idea 252 00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:45,610 Speaker 1: much better than his. But I need to tread lightly 253 00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:49,370 Speaker 1: from Cain and Abel to Stephen and Alec Baldwin. I 254 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:53,050 Speaker 1: know how competitive brothers can be, and unlike the Lord 255 00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:57,090 Speaker 1: or Alexander Ray Baldwin Senior, I don't want to be 256 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:02,690 Speaker 1: seen playing favorites. Do you think you're like hypnotism has 257 00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:04,930 Speaker 1: a role in this, Well, I hear. 258 00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,490 Speaker 4: That, like your voice went up in octave when we 259 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,090 Speaker 4: started talking about hypnotism and you got excited about hypnotism. 260 00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:11,490 Speaker 1: Well, Dimitri seemed to think that it would that it 261 00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:12,010 Speaker 1: could help. 262 00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:14,690 Speaker 4: Okay, so the two of you should go see a 263 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:15,250 Speaker 4: movie together. 264 00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:20,650 Speaker 1: Going to movies is Gregor and my thing. Clearly I'm 265 00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:24,890 Speaker 1: arousing some jealousy. I need to keep my arguments away 266 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:28,570 Speaker 1: from Dimitri and grounded in the merits of hypnotism. This 267 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:33,090 Speaker 1: whole barn thing as the symptom but through hypnosis. 268 00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:34,530 Speaker 4: Why are you saying it with like the weird accent 269 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,170 Speaker 4: on the word hypnosis. 270 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:40,010 Speaker 1: I mean, do you think that hypnotism has something to 271 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:40,650 Speaker 1: offer here? 272 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:45,050 Speaker 4: My short answer would be absolutely not. I think it's 273 00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:52,690 Speaker 4: a waste of time. Hypnosis, hypnosis, hypnosis. 274 00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:54,010 Speaker 2: Hi, Johnny, how are you. 275 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:54,930 Speaker 1: Hey, Dimitri? 276 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:55,330 Speaker 6: Hi? 277 00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,610 Speaker 1: I've got your brother Gregor on the line with me. 278 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,370 Speaker 4: We've met, Hi. 279 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:00,930 Speaker 2: How are you? 280 00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:03,250 Speaker 1: Can you make the case to your brother? 281 00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:04,650 Speaker 2: Sure? 282 00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:06,410 Speaker 9: I just think that you know there's no harm, there's 283 00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:09,650 Speaker 9: certainly no nothing to lose. It takes fifteen or twenty minutes, 284 00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:13,010 Speaker 9: and she's proven that she's very susceptible to hypnotic suggestions, 285 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:13,850 Speaker 9: so why not try it? 286 00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:17,210 Speaker 4: I agree with all those points. My main feeling is 287 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,970 Speaker 4: that getting someone to stop a behavior like smoking is 288 00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:22,930 Speaker 4: much much easier than getting someone to change their personality, 289 00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,050 Speaker 4: which is harder to hypnotize someone out. 290 00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:28,690 Speaker 1: Of That may be true, I wouldn't disgrew there, swept 291 00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:32,050 Speaker 1: up in a wave of brotherly bonamy. I decide it's 292 00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:36,370 Speaker 1: a safe space to cautiously share my one secret boyhood longing, 293 00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,770 Speaker 1: and along the way I could get hypnotized that as 294 00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:43,250 Speaker 1: something too. Yeah, A lot of stuff, yeah, and immediately 295 00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,610 Speaker 1: regret it. What do you mean a lot of stuff? 296 00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:47,970 Speaker 2: I mean, that's a smug smile. They could work on. 297 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,610 Speaker 4: We could give you a whole brand new thing where 298 00:16:49,650 --> 00:16:51,050 Speaker 4: you're like super charming all the. 299 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,530 Speaker 2: Time, being more able to look people in the eye. 300 00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:55,210 Speaker 4: Not always hide behind a microphone. 301 00:16:55,690 --> 00:16:57,250 Speaker 2: Actually, you know there is all joking aside. 302 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,250 Speaker 9: There is a new hypnosis that works on what's called 303 00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:01,890 Speaker 9: voluntary baldness syndrome, where they realize that a lot of 304 00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:04,129 Speaker 9: men are sort of doing it on purpose. 305 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:06,330 Speaker 1: Why would someone do that on purpose? 306 00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:08,330 Speaker 2: Which is it? 307 00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,290 Speaker 9: It turns out that that hair loss is more of 308 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,649 Speaker 9: like an act of willful insolence often and a cry 309 00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:14,010 Speaker 9: for peace. 310 00:17:14,169 --> 00:17:15,169 Speaker 1: I used to love my hair. 311 00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:17,770 Speaker 2: Well, if you loved it so much, why did you 312 00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:18,489 Speaker 2: get rid of it? 313 00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:21,810 Speaker 1: First of all, I find the defensive and Gregor chime 314 00:17:21,889 --> 00:17:24,010 Speaker 1: in here because I'm sure you're equally offended. 315 00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:26,129 Speaker 4: Now, Dimitri used to be bald as an egg and 316 00:17:26,169 --> 00:17:26,970 Speaker 4: then he willed it back. 317 00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:30,249 Speaker 2: I think you you did at the same time with 318 00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:30,650 Speaker 2: my mother. 319 00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:32,649 Speaker 9: We can get a two for one deal package deal. 320 00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:34,850 Speaker 2: I'm just saying it's science. If you read the New 321 00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:38,090 Speaker 2: England Journal inmentivis. 322 00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:42,530 Speaker 1: With Gregor and Dimitri aligned in friends again. At my expense, 323 00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:46,090 Speaker 1: I set out in search of the one eyed hippie hypnotist, 324 00:17:46,409 --> 00:17:50,330 Speaker 1: Saul Feldstein. But it turns out Saul died in twenty 325 00:17:50,409 --> 00:17:53,690 Speaker 1: nineteen at the age of ninety two. So I reach 326 00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:56,810 Speaker 1: out to other hypnotists, all of whom pretty much hang 327 00:17:56,889 --> 00:18:00,770 Speaker 1: up on me once I explain the project. So hypnotism 328 00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:04,009 Speaker 1: is out, the museum is out. I'm stuck with my 329 00:18:04,090 --> 00:18:07,450 Speaker 1: crap personality, and Edta is stuck with her house full 330 00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:11,850 Speaker 1: of crab and Gregor is still at an impasse. But 331 00:18:11,929 --> 00:18:16,330 Speaker 1: things are about to change coming up after the break 332 00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:19,769 Speaker 1: Ata's big night. You know what that guy says to me. 333 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:23,290 Speaker 6: Just now, This guy told me that I was beautiful. 334 00:18:24,129 --> 00:18:37,649 Speaker 10: You are what's going on yet? 335 00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:42,169 Speaker 1: Gregor tells me that Edda has been offered a show 336 00:18:42,209 --> 00:18:45,850 Speaker 1: at the Carter Burden Gallery in Manhattan. Edda is an 337 00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:49,409 Speaker 1: outsider artist, so the offer of her own solo exhibition 338 00:18:49,609 --> 00:18:52,649 Speaker 1: feels like finally, at the age of eighty eight, she's 339 00:18:52,649 --> 00:18:57,209 Speaker 1: being invited inside. The show with its formal invitations and 340 00:18:57,330 --> 00:19:01,530 Speaker 1: co check, feels like validation. It's the kind of opportunity 341 00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:04,889 Speaker 1: Edda has always hoped for, and for Gregor, it feels 342 00:19:04,889 --> 00:19:07,649 Speaker 1: like an opportunity for her pieces to find good homes 343 00:19:07,970 --> 00:19:12,449 Speaker 1: outside her home. The show opens on March twenty first, 344 00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:15,689 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. Gregor and I make a plan to speak 345 00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:18,129 Speaker 1: the morning after so we can tell me how it went. 346 00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:22,010 Speaker 1: When we speak, what Gregor tells me is that things 347 00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:26,410 Speaker 1: that night took a wild turn. Do you want to explain? 348 00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:27,889 Speaker 5: Sure. 349 00:19:28,129 --> 00:19:31,250 Speaker 4: I flew into town from my mom's art opening. Okay, 350 00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,969 Speaker 4: we're here at the art opening. It's a pretty good drought. 351 00:19:34,889 --> 00:19:36,609 Speaker 4: Everyone's eating wine and cheese. 352 00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:39,529 Speaker 1: And but it's so loud. 353 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:43,369 Speaker 4: It was almost like a cartoon version of my mom's 354 00:19:43,409 --> 00:19:46,850 Speaker 4: success story. And that like some stranger guy came up, 355 00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:55,289 Speaker 4: was like, you're a beautiful woman, utiful. Her ego was 356 00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:57,250 Speaker 4: buffed from many sides. Everything going great. 357 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,170 Speaker 10: Oh. 358 00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:03,170 Speaker 1: Gregor's dad, Milt, on the other hand, wasn't having as 359 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:05,889 Speaker 1: good a time. He spent most of the evening in 360 00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:09,570 Speaker 1: the corner nibbling on crackers. At the end the night, 361 00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:12,330 Speaker 1: Gregor approached him. 362 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,169 Speaker 4: Oh, father, let'd you make it up? 363 00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:16,289 Speaker 7: Oh it's very nice. 364 00:20:16,609 --> 00:20:20,570 Speaker 4: A little bit exhausting, he seemed like, even though he 365 00:20:20,649 --> 00:20:23,129 Speaker 4: sometimes talks in a quiet voice, he was especially quiet, 366 00:20:23,169 --> 00:20:25,169 Speaker 4: like I could hardly hear him. 367 00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:30,689 Speaker 1: On the drive home, Milt conked out When the family 368 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,969 Speaker 1: couldn't rouse him, they realized he wasn't just sleeping, but 369 00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:39,489 Speaker 1: completely unconscious. Eda began yelling, wailing Milt's name. He was 370 00:20:39,570 --> 00:20:42,530 Speaker 1: driven to the hospital, where the EMTs lifted him onto 371 00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:45,889 Speaker 1: a gurney. The doctors thought he might be having a stroke, 372 00:20:46,209 --> 00:20:49,370 Speaker 1: but they couldn't say for sure. In the waiting room, 373 00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:52,169 Speaker 1: Eda turned to Gregor and said, you might as well 374 00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:56,850 Speaker 1: order the dumpsters right now, meaning you win empty out 375 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,810 Speaker 1: the house because of Milt isn't coming back to it, 376 00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:06,209 Speaker 1: That's it. How do you know when the Democlean sword 377 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:10,289 Speaker 1: of mortality isn't just dangling above you but actually falling? 378 00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:12,729 Speaker 1: How do you know when it's time to pick up 379 00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:17,689 Speaker 1: the remote, turn off Rachel Maddow and finally act the 380 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:21,369 Speaker 1: night a milestone in Edda's career was meant to symbolize 381 00:21:21,369 --> 00:21:24,570 Speaker 1: the turning point, and it was just not the kind 382 00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:28,569 Speaker 1: she was hoping for. Milton was eventually sent home from 383 00:21:28,609 --> 00:21:32,090 Speaker 1: the hospital, but its clap signaled a change for Gregor too. 384 00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:36,769 Speaker 1: For so long he'd been saying, maybe it's time, but 385 00:21:36,889 --> 00:21:48,010 Speaker 1: maybe it was time to stop saying maybe Hello, he Hi, 386 00:21:48,129 --> 00:21:49,689 Speaker 1: it's Gregor and Jonathan. 387 00:21:50,490 --> 00:21:52,930 Speaker 6: Oh, and I thought this was a scam call. 388 00:21:53,010 --> 00:21:53,689 Speaker 9: How do you like that? 389 00:21:53,850 --> 00:21:54,970 Speaker 10: How are you well? 390 00:21:55,010 --> 00:21:56,249 Speaker 4: I wouldn't be so sure. It's not. 391 00:21:56,530 --> 00:22:00,169 Speaker 1: We haven't finished the call yet, right, So what's the bitch? 392 00:22:00,970 --> 00:22:04,209 Speaker 4: Johnny wanted to dredge up a bunch of painful family issues. 393 00:22:04,649 --> 00:22:07,330 Speaker 6: Oh sure, why not? The painfuler the better. 394 00:22:08,169 --> 00:22:10,249 Speaker 1: I want to talk with about the night of the 395 00:22:10,369 --> 00:22:12,850 Speaker 1: art opening and the way it affected our thinking about 396 00:22:12,889 --> 00:22:13,850 Speaker 1: remaining in the house. 397 00:22:14,929 --> 00:22:18,169 Speaker 6: I won't be able to stay here alone. Either I 398 00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:21,850 Speaker 6: will become ill or Milt will become ill, and I 399 00:22:21,889 --> 00:22:26,209 Speaker 6: need somebody to help me. There is a new little 400 00:22:26,290 --> 00:22:28,810 Speaker 6: piece in my head that says things are going. 401 00:22:28,689 --> 00:22:32,330 Speaker 1: To change in the aftermath of the art show opening. 402 00:22:32,649 --> 00:22:35,970 Speaker 1: As that is new reality sunk in, another plan began 403 00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:39,530 Speaker 1: to take shape, one that Eda came up with. Her 404 00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:41,889 Speaker 1: idea is to pair each of her message on the 405 00:22:41,929 --> 00:22:45,730 Speaker 1: bottles with the right person. In this way, each one 406 00:22:45,770 --> 00:22:46,850 Speaker 1: will find the right home. 407 00:22:47,609 --> 00:22:51,210 Speaker 6: I now have a whole shelf full of stuff that 408 00:22:51,290 --> 00:22:53,209 Speaker 6: I'm now earmarking to give away. 409 00:22:53,570 --> 00:22:55,570 Speaker 1: That's something that you've not normally done. 410 00:22:55,970 --> 00:22:59,810 Speaker 6: No, I only gave very few things away, you know, 411 00:23:00,010 --> 00:23:03,450 Speaker 6: to my best friend or to the kids, or something 412 00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:07,969 Speaker 6: like that. Very few, very very few. 413 00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:11,490 Speaker 1: Do you think it at the beginning of something more 414 00:23:11,570 --> 00:23:12,290 Speaker 1: of this to come? 415 00:23:12,770 --> 00:23:15,289 Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it has to be. It has to be. 416 00:23:16,290 --> 00:23:18,969 Speaker 6: I take it very seriously. When I think of giving 417 00:23:19,010 --> 00:23:21,729 Speaker 6: a person a bottle, I have to think would it 418 00:23:21,770 --> 00:23:23,129 Speaker 6: be good for that person? 419 00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,810 Speaker 2: Okay? Oh really? All right? 420 00:23:28,369 --> 00:23:30,649 Speaker 1: A few weeks later, I called Gregor to see how 421 00:23:30,770 --> 00:23:32,489 Speaker 1: Eda's bottle drive is coming along. 422 00:23:32,970 --> 00:23:35,889 Speaker 4: So she called me this morning saying, I thought of 423 00:23:35,929 --> 00:23:37,810 Speaker 4: the perfect person to give the perfect bottle to, but 424 00:23:37,850 --> 00:23:43,129 Speaker 4: I'm afraid it's going to hurt his feelings. Okay, she 425 00:23:43,209 --> 00:23:44,570 Speaker 4: wants to give you a bottle. 426 00:23:44,929 --> 00:23:49,850 Speaker 1: She wants to give Okay, well that wow, that's really nice. 427 00:23:50,409 --> 00:23:52,330 Speaker 1: Why would that hurt my feelings? 428 00:23:52,850 --> 00:23:54,489 Speaker 4: You know, if you give someone a bottle that says 429 00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:58,049 Speaker 4: like I wish like I was present, then it's sort 430 00:23:58,050 --> 00:23:59,770 Speaker 4: of an implication that you're not present, you know what 431 00:23:59,810 --> 00:24:02,889 Speaker 4: I mean? It could be interpreted sometimes as like a 432 00:24:02,970 --> 00:24:06,450 Speaker 4: sort of a criticism. So I don't know how you'll 433 00:24:06,449 --> 00:24:06,810 Speaker 4: take it. 434 00:24:07,169 --> 00:24:08,889 Speaker 1: What did she tell you? What my bottle says? 435 00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:12,049 Speaker 4: That's as much as I can say at this point. 436 00:24:12,169 --> 00:24:14,290 Speaker 4: It's as much as I'm authorized to say. 437 00:24:19,609 --> 00:24:22,530 Speaker 1: Even though I should know better know how Gregor will 438 00:24:22,609 --> 00:24:25,609 Speaker 1: dangle this knowledge over my head like a cat dancer. 439 00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:29,169 Speaker 1: My curiosity gets the better of me, and so I 440 00:24:29,290 --> 00:24:32,889 Speaker 1: keep asking Gregor what the bottle says, which he uses 441 00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:37,490 Speaker 1: as an opportunity to dissect my personality. All I can say, 442 00:24:37,530 --> 00:24:40,889 Speaker 1: he says, is that it addresses some of your deep 443 00:24:40,970 --> 00:24:41,969 Speaker 1: seated issues. 444 00:24:42,929 --> 00:24:45,209 Speaker 4: Despite all your insights about other people, you sort of 445 00:24:45,409 --> 00:24:48,009 Speaker 4: tend to remove yourself from the collective and put yourself 446 00:24:48,050 --> 00:24:50,129 Speaker 4: in the position of like journalistic observer. 447 00:24:50,409 --> 00:24:51,050 Speaker 1: Uh huh. 448 00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:54,050 Speaker 4: When you have these insights, you know, your dime store insights, 449 00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:55,729 Speaker 4: you bolt on at the end of things where you're like, 450 00:24:56,090 --> 00:24:59,330 Speaker 4: maybe we all need someone to run to that hallmarking 451 00:24:59,369 --> 00:25:01,489 Speaker 4: nonsense that you did this about at the end of 452 00:25:01,490 --> 00:25:01,889 Speaker 4: the day. 453 00:25:01,929 --> 00:25:05,129 Speaker 1: Jerk, you feel comfortable to saying something like that to 454 00:25:05,169 --> 00:25:06,969 Speaker 1: someone telling me about my diet. 455 00:25:07,010 --> 00:25:08,409 Speaker 4: I knew you were going to take it the wrong way. 456 00:25:08,490 --> 00:25:10,289 Speaker 1: What's the that's the right way to take that? 457 00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:16,050 Speaker 4: I think sometimes you sort of make yourself resistant, like, oh, 458 00:25:16,090 --> 00:25:18,770 Speaker 4: I don't matter, I'm just the fly on the wall 459 00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:22,010 Speaker 4: to watching the human condition. As you know, people live 460 00:25:22,050 --> 00:25:24,210 Speaker 4: and die and suffer, and babies are born and old 461 00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,570 Speaker 4: people lower it into the ground. Oh when the dirt 462 00:25:26,649 --> 00:25:29,409 Speaker 4: hits the coffin. That reminds me of my sponsor. I 463 00:25:29,409 --> 00:25:32,889 Speaker 4: think you just you use the thing to remove yourself 464 00:25:33,010 --> 00:25:35,689 Speaker 4: from what's actually going on. Okay, all right, you're like, 465 00:25:36,290 --> 00:25:40,249 Speaker 4: you know what really make this thing sing? Now, let 466 00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:41,970 Speaker 4: me just get a shot of you throwing your art 467 00:25:41,970 --> 00:25:43,769 Speaker 4: off the bridge. That's what we need to finish this. 468 00:25:46,090 --> 00:25:48,770 Speaker 1: Maybe Gregor thinks I'm being too prying with his mom 469 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:52,449 Speaker 1: and this is just an expression of his protectiveness, so 470 00:25:52,609 --> 00:25:55,649 Speaker 1: I apologize to him and tell him I'll try to 471 00:25:55,689 --> 00:25:59,570 Speaker 1: be more respectful. It turns out that Gregor has little 472 00:25:59,609 --> 00:26:01,050 Speaker 1: respect for my respect. 473 00:26:01,290 --> 00:26:03,969 Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, lady, I can be more respectful out there. 474 00:26:03,970 --> 00:26:05,489 Speaker 4: I won't tell you to throw your stuff in the 475 00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:07,770 Speaker 4: gar bitch, I'll tell you to throw it into recycling 476 00:26:07,810 --> 00:26:10,250 Speaker 4: bin that way. Don't want why there'll be no landfill, 477 00:26:10,609 --> 00:26:11,530 Speaker 4: you understand. 478 00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:12,930 Speaker 1: Very respectful? 479 00:26:14,850 --> 00:26:18,050 Speaker 4: Who even separate out the green bottles from the Clini glass? 480 00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:26,130 Speaker 10: Very good? 481 00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:26,450 Speaker 2: John? 482 00:26:26,570 --> 00:26:28,369 Speaker 1: Why would you even let me speak to your mother? 483 00:26:30,209 --> 00:26:30,570 Speaker 2: I don't know. 484 00:26:30,609 --> 00:26:32,730 Speaker 4: I mean I thought maybe you could patch things up, 485 00:26:33,929 --> 00:26:34,369 Speaker 4: I don't know. 486 00:26:41,369 --> 00:26:44,689 Speaker 1: Over the next couple years, Eda continues to slowly search 487 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:48,050 Speaker 1: out the right homes for her bottles, whereas in the past, 488 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,009 Speaker 1: Edda was only able to give away a few. Gregor 489 00:26:51,169 --> 00:26:54,929 Speaker 1: estimates that she hands out about one hundred. During this time, 490 00:26:55,050 --> 00:26:57,369 Speaker 1: Milt is in and out of the hospital with cardiac 491 00:26:57,449 --> 00:27:01,009 Speaker 1: issues ranging from fainting spells and high blood pressure to 492 00:27:01,090 --> 00:27:04,649 Speaker 1: an actual heart attack. But then in the summer of 493 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:07,850 Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, it's Edda who received some bad news. 494 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:12,529 Speaker 1: Years after Gregor and I first spoke, Gregor phones to 495 00:27:12,570 --> 00:27:15,290 Speaker 1: tell me his mother has been diagnosed with brain cancer. 496 00:27:16,290 --> 00:27:20,050 Speaker 1: The doctor found nine metastases in her brain. They went 497 00:27:20,090 --> 00:27:23,410 Speaker 1: to three different hospitals in five days, and the consensus 498 00:27:23,570 --> 00:27:26,330 Speaker 1: was that it wasn't a matter of months, but of weeks. 499 00:27:27,409 --> 00:27:30,650 Speaker 1: In what felt like only days, Eda went from carrying 500 00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:33,609 Speaker 1: laundry up the stairs to needing to be carried up 501 00:27:33,649 --> 00:27:41,770 Speaker 1: the stairs herself. With Ata's illness, Gregor decides to move in. 502 00:27:42,209 --> 00:27:45,369 Speaker 1: The whole family does into the big packed house they 503 00:27:45,409 --> 00:27:48,570 Speaker 1: grew up in. A hospital bed is set up on 504 00:27:48,609 --> 00:27:52,010 Speaker 1: the main floor in Ata's old office, and Gregor wakes 505 00:27:52,090 --> 00:27:55,169 Speaker 1: up at sunrise and sits at at his bedside in silence. 506 00:27:55,810 --> 00:27:59,049 Speaker 1: He speaks with her, makes her comfortable. He tells her 507 00:27:59,090 --> 00:28:01,889 Speaker 1: it's okay to go, that everything is okay. 508 00:28:05,129 --> 00:28:08,169 Speaker 4: And I stayed there for six weeks, eight weeks, and 509 00:28:08,490 --> 00:28:12,290 Speaker 4: sort of did the bedside vigil as she slowly died. 510 00:28:17,649 --> 00:28:20,890 Speaker 1: In those final weeks, Gregor saw a change come over Edda. 511 00:28:22,010 --> 00:28:24,530 Speaker 4: In the years running up to her death, she would 512 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:28,649 Speaker 4: say things like, listen, there's a rolled up rug in 513 00:28:28,689 --> 00:28:31,449 Speaker 4: the attic that's worth a lot of money. Make sure 514 00:28:31,530 --> 00:28:33,409 Speaker 4: that they don't, you know, cheat you out. 515 00:28:33,330 --> 00:28:33,690 Speaker 2: Of that one. 516 00:28:34,010 --> 00:28:36,490 Speaker 4: That was always kind of a sort of joke, sort 517 00:28:36,490 --> 00:28:42,330 Speaker 4: of real thing. But when the actual room of death 518 00:28:42,330 --> 00:28:47,050 Speaker 4: and dying was happening, that stuff didn't really come up. 519 00:28:47,930 --> 00:28:50,650 Speaker 4: It felt more like she was at peace with a 520 00:28:50,690 --> 00:28:51,850 Speaker 4: lot of stuff, and a lot of the stuff. She 521 00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:54,850 Speaker 4: told me she would be laying there with her eyes 522 00:28:54,890 --> 00:28:57,770 Speaker 4: shut but smiling, and I'm like, you know, Mom, what 523 00:28:57,810 --> 00:29:00,090 Speaker 4: are you thinking about it? And she's just just with 524 00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:03,010 Speaker 4: her hand. She would indicate that she's like dancing by 525 00:29:03,090 --> 00:29:05,810 Speaker 4: just flowing her hand in the air. It felt like 526 00:29:05,850 --> 00:29:06,530 Speaker 4: a great death. 527 00:29:12,010 --> 00:29:16,210 Speaker 1: The words on the bottles had finally sunk in. In the end, 528 00:29:16,610 --> 00:29:20,170 Speaker 1: Eda could dance out of the world gracefully, no grasping. 529 00:29:21,170 --> 00:29:23,250 Speaker 1: It's the living who are left to grasp. 530 00:29:25,170 --> 00:29:28,610 Speaker 3: Since my mom died, it feels like it's harder to 531 00:29:28,650 --> 00:29:31,489 Speaker 3: throw things out than I thought. 532 00:29:31,970 --> 00:29:35,850 Speaker 1: This is Gregor's sister Lexi. Again, like Eda, Lexi is 533 00:29:35,850 --> 00:29:40,210 Speaker 1: an artist, and like Gregor, she's surprised by how, after 534 00:29:40,250 --> 00:29:42,170 Speaker 1: all the years trying to get her mom to let 535 00:29:42,209 --> 00:29:44,969 Speaker 1: go of her stuff, she herself is finding it so 536 00:29:45,130 --> 00:29:47,370 Speaker 1: hard to let go of that very same stuff. 537 00:29:48,450 --> 00:29:51,810 Speaker 3: It just feels really hard to like her art. It 538 00:29:51,850 --> 00:29:55,610 Speaker 3: feels it's like a part of her. Yeah, but it's 539 00:29:55,650 --> 00:29:55,970 Speaker 3: not her. 540 00:29:57,130 --> 00:29:58,530 Speaker 2: Yeah. 541 00:29:58,890 --> 00:30:02,650 Speaker 3: I had an interesting conversation with my dad the other day, 542 00:30:02,690 --> 00:30:07,370 Speaker 3: who is of course, really you know, grief stricken, and he. 543 00:30:07,490 --> 00:30:09,610 Speaker 1: Was saying why do people art? 544 00:30:10,490 --> 00:30:13,610 Speaker 3: And he thinks the reason people make art is so 545 00:30:13,690 --> 00:30:16,329 Speaker 3: that they're not forgotten when they die, like you do 546 00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:17,969 Speaker 3: something that remains in the world. 547 00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:23,729 Speaker 4: I think of her a lot. 548 00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:26,370 Speaker 1: Do you still carry with you your mother's love? Do 549 00:30:26,450 --> 00:30:26,930 Speaker 1: you feel it? 550 00:30:28,330 --> 00:30:34,370 Speaker 4: I carry her with me. I mean in the way 551 00:30:34,370 --> 00:30:39,130 Speaker 4: that you know, when I experience something I can't help 552 00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:44,410 Speaker 4: but hear my mother's voice making fun of me for 553 00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:48,969 Speaker 4: my description of what I'm experiencing. I might be describing something, 554 00:30:49,770 --> 00:30:53,570 Speaker 4: telling her about just some Quotadian thing in the day. 555 00:30:54,170 --> 00:30:57,650 Speaker 4: You know, this is a nice sunset, but I've a 556 00:30:57,770 --> 00:31:01,570 Speaker 4: nicer if that truck weren't backing up, and I can 557 00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:04,489 Speaker 4: hear her being like, why are you so rotten? You 558 00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:07,330 Speaker 4: know what is wrong with you? I mean, that's that 559 00:31:07,370 --> 00:31:07,890 Speaker 4: type of thing. 560 00:31:16,209 --> 00:31:18,410 Speaker 1: You can try to move your aging parents out of 561 00:31:18,450 --> 00:31:21,090 Speaker 1: their house. You can treat death like a to do 562 00:31:21,290 --> 00:31:25,370 Speaker 1: list with items to check off, but ultimately you can't 563 00:31:25,370 --> 00:31:29,489 Speaker 1: control how people live or die. Even after Eda's death, 564 00:31:29,730 --> 00:31:33,130 Speaker 1: Milt remained in that very same house. It's Dmitri and 565 00:31:33,170 --> 00:31:35,890 Speaker 1: his own family that move in so that Milt doesn't 566 00:31:35,930 --> 00:31:39,730 Speaker 1: have to be alone. And over the next few years, Gregor, 567 00:31:40,010 --> 00:31:43,610 Speaker 1: in fits and starts and with disregard for what anyone thinks, 568 00:31:44,010 --> 00:31:47,570 Speaker 1: continues to work on the museum. Only it's become less 569 00:31:47,570 --> 00:31:50,610 Speaker 1: about a full fledged museum open to the public and 570 00:31:50,650 --> 00:31:53,890 Speaker 1: more of just a place to honor his mom. And 571 00:31:53,930 --> 00:31:57,209 Speaker 1: then one day Gregor texts saying he found a sealed 572 00:31:57,250 --> 00:32:00,450 Speaker 1: box and the Victorian with my name on it written 573 00:32:00,610 --> 00:32:04,650 Speaker 1: in Eda's hand. When the box arrives, I unravel what 574 00:32:04,730 --> 00:32:08,170 Speaker 1: seems like yards and yards a bubble wrap. Edta had 575 00:32:08,209 --> 00:32:12,370 Speaker 1: taken great care. The bottle is a beautiful blue, the 576 00:32:12,370 --> 00:32:16,450 Speaker 1: blue of a childhood toy. It's crevaceous and feels good 577 00:32:16,490 --> 00:32:20,650 Speaker 1: in my hand upon it, Eta laid out her words 578 00:32:20,770 --> 00:32:22,810 Speaker 1: to me, I would. 579 00:32:22,570 --> 00:32:25,610 Speaker 6: Love to live like a river flows carried by the 580 00:32:25,690 --> 00:32:28,250 Speaker 6: surprise of its own unfolding. 581 00:32:29,130 --> 00:32:33,130 Speaker 1: See what I mean, I do? But how dare she? 582 00:32:34,450 --> 00:32:38,570 Speaker 1: I'm kidding? Cue the outro music, Cue the dime story 583 00:32:38,610 --> 00:32:42,370 Speaker 1: in sight. Whether it's to a museum in the wilds 584 00:32:42,370 --> 00:32:45,529 Speaker 1: of upstate New York or to a landfill, none of 585 00:32:45,570 --> 00:32:48,890 Speaker 1: us knows where we're flowing. In the face of that, 586 00:32:49,290 --> 00:32:53,050 Speaker 1: we need to learn how to let go. My feeling 587 00:32:53,090 --> 00:32:57,290 Speaker 1: about what comes after death is constantly changing. I don't 588 00:32:57,290 --> 00:33:00,249 Speaker 1: have a spiritual practice, so all I have is a feeling. 589 00:33:00,850 --> 00:33:04,410 Speaker 1: And my feeling today is that bodies are vessels, just 590 00:33:04,410 --> 00:33:08,410 Speaker 1: like colorful bottles are vessels, just like podcasts and houses 591 00:33:08,410 --> 00:33:12,010 Speaker 1: packed with stuff and all of art is. It's all 592 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:16,730 Speaker 1: just stuff, and stuff can be beautiful, but it's there 593 00:33:17,090 --> 00:33:20,930 Speaker 1: to help us get closer to the non stuff, because, 594 00:33:21,690 --> 00:33:24,730 Speaker 1: like the words Da inscribed on one of her final bottles, 595 00:33:25,930 --> 00:33:28,930 Speaker 1: all important matters are invisible. 596 00:34:12,290 --> 00:34:21,810 Speaker 11: Now that the furnitures returning to its goodwill home, now 597 00:34:21,890 --> 00:34:23,290 Speaker 11: that the last. 598 00:34:23,050 --> 00:34:25,650 Speaker 6: Month's rent is scheming with. 599 00:34:25,850 --> 00:34:32,650 Speaker 5: The damage to posle, take this moment to dissolve. If 600 00:34:32,650 --> 00:34:38,250 Speaker 5: we meant it if we see we felt around for 601 00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:43,290 Speaker 5: from things that accidentally. 602 00:34:48,730 --> 00:34:51,730 Speaker 1: This episode of Heavyweight was produced by Phoebe Flanagan and 603 00:34:51,850 --> 00:34:55,690 Speaker 1: me Jonathan Goldstein. Our senior producer is Khalila Holt and 604 00:34:55,770 --> 00:35:00,410 Speaker 1: our supervising producer is Stevie Lane. Editorial guidance from Emily Condon. 605 00:35:00,650 --> 00:35:04,450 Speaker 1: Special thanks to Steve marsh Amy, Gaines McQuaid and Sarah Nix. 606 00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:08,730 Speaker 1: Our production council is Jake Flanagan. Emmamonger mixed the episode 607 00:35:08,730 --> 00:35:12,370 Speaker 1: with a music by Christine Fellows, John K. Sampson and 608 00:35:12,450 --> 00:35:17,010 Speaker 1: Bobby Lord. Additional scoring by Boxwood Orchestra and Blue Dot Sessions. 609 00:35:17,250 --> 00:35:19,810 Speaker 1: Our theme song is by The Weaker Thands courtesy of 610 00:35:19,810 --> 00:35:24,330 Speaker 1: Epitaph Records. Follow us on Instagram at Heavyweight Podcast or 611 00:35:24,410 --> 00:35:28,890 Speaker 1: email us at Heavyweight at Pushkin dot fm, and if 612 00:35:28,930 --> 00:35:32,890 Speaker 1: you'd like your very own Eta Berlick original her bottles 613 00:35:32,930 --> 00:35:36,650 Speaker 1: can be found on her Instagram at Eta Berlick. We'll 614 00:35:36,650 --> 00:35:40,530 Speaker 1: be back next week with a new episode. Can you 615 00:35:40,770 --> 00:35:44,410 Speaker 1: believe it? Back in the saddle hiding behind that mic 616 00:35:45,010 --> 00:36:00,370 Speaker 1: oh yeah, oh yeah. So I wanted to go through 617 00:36:00,370 --> 00:36:02,810 Speaker 1: the entire thing just to make sure the fact and 618 00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:05,930 Speaker 1: also make sure that your mother made. She put bird 619 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:07,090 Speaker 1: poop with googly eyes. 620 00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:10,250 Speaker 2: Is that correct. She's called you geez okay. 621 00:36:10,330 --> 00:36:12,610 Speaker 4: How many times would you say you were rejected by 622 00:36:12,650 --> 00:36:14,090 Speaker 4: girls in the dozens? 623 00:36:14,170 --> 00:36:14,770 Speaker 2: Is that correct? 624 00:36:17,370 --> 00:36:17,410 Speaker 10: H