WEBVTT - Make mornings into family time

0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:14.240
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:18.640
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to consciously turn your mornings into family

0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:23.000
<v Speaker 1>time before everyone goes their separate ways. You can choose

0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:27.040
<v Speaker 1>to start the day by nurturing your most important relationships.

0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I first learned the power of mornings many years ago

0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:33.360
<v Speaker 1>when I was researching a book called What the Most

0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:37.839
<v Speaker 1>Successful People Do Before Breakfast. Many successful people use the

0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:41.880
<v Speaker 1>early morning hours for exercise, or strategic thinking, or other

0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:44.520
<v Speaker 1>important things that life has a way of crowding out.

0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:48.760
<v Speaker 1>And if these morning warriors have families, they often trade

0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:51.479
<v Speaker 1>off with their partners or get up before the kids

0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.240
<v Speaker 1>in order to make time for these things. And that's because, well,

0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:57.440
<v Speaker 1>when we're trying to get large numbers of people ready

0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.959
<v Speaker 1>and out the door, it can be tempting to focus

0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:03.040
<v Speaker 1>solely on the various steps required to make that happen.

0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:06.000
<v Speaker 1>And trust me, I know there can be a lot

0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.840
<v Speaker 1>of steps. But the problem with focusing on the logistics

0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.880
<v Speaker 1>is that we miss the opportunity to make this time

0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.000
<v Speaker 1>into something more. I was reminded of this when I

0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.680
<v Speaker 1>got a note from Ryan Holiday about how he spends

0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:23.080
<v Speaker 1>his mornings. Holiday is the author of the new book

0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:27.039
<v Speaker 1>Stillness Is the Key, and of several other books, including

0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:31.400
<v Speaker 1>The Obstacle Is the Way. Holiday tells me that starting

0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.479
<v Speaker 1>earlier this year, I decided I would no longer use

0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:38.640
<v Speaker 1>my phone for the first one hour that I am awake. Instead,

0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I grabbed my three year old son and take him

0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:45.040
<v Speaker 1>for a long walk. We go outside, We get active,

0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.160
<v Speaker 1>and we watched the sun come up as we travel

0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:52.680
<v Speaker 1>the back roads that surround our farm. Almost invariably, I

0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.040
<v Speaker 1>come home with ideas that I can use in my writing.

0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.080
<v Speaker 1>We come home with memories to tell the rest of

0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.600
<v Speaker 1>the family about instead of just take king a photo.

0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.120
<v Speaker 1>To me, it's about getting some stillness in the morning

0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:08.240
<v Speaker 1>before the workday starts. And it's ironic that the stillness

0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:13.280
<v Speaker 1>comes for us from movement. But what works works the

0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:17.239
<v Speaker 1>key is just not starting the day reacting, letting Twitter

0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:19.720
<v Speaker 1>or your email inbox dictate the first thing you do

0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:26.800
<v Speaker 1>during the day. Instead, you should decide, and for me, concentration,

0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:31.919
<v Speaker 1>family time and fun are what I choose. I think

0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.480
<v Speaker 1>this is a great idea. Holiday is spending time with

0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.399
<v Speaker 1>his kid, but getting exercise and thinking time too. How

0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:41.960
<v Speaker 1>great to score a trifecta like that, Mornings in general

0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:45.680
<v Speaker 1>can be a great time for family time. Now I

0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:48.239
<v Speaker 1>don't have a farm to wander about, but I started

0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:50.160
<v Speaker 1>to make a point of sitting at the kitchen table

0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:53.520
<v Speaker 1>in sequence with all my children as they eat breakfast.

0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.920
<v Speaker 1>The seventh grader is first, and in typical teenager fashion,

0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:01.040
<v Speaker 1>he's not always the most talkative person and at breakfast,

0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:05.080
<v Speaker 1>but that's all right. I can communicate that I'm interested

0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:07.880
<v Speaker 1>in his life, and I can make sure he's getting

0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:10.760
<v Speaker 1>a serving of fruit, and these both count for something.

0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.080
<v Speaker 1>My four year old tends to wander down next, and

0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:17.240
<v Speaker 1>we have very different conversations. And by the time I've

0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:19.520
<v Speaker 1>fed my elementary school aged kids, I might have been

0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:23.440
<v Speaker 1>sitting at that breakfast table for fifty minutes. Fifty minutes

0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.280
<v Speaker 1>is a fair chunk of time, but that's okay. I

0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:30.680
<v Speaker 1>found that lingering over breakfast in my coffee puts me

0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:34.840
<v Speaker 1>in a mood of time abundance. Sure, I have a

0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:38.480
<v Speaker 1>lot to do, but there's no rush. On the mornings

0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.200
<v Speaker 1>my husband is home, he'll sit there too, And these

0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.400
<v Speaker 1>are often the only chances we get to have two

0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:47.960
<v Speaker 1>parents focused on one kid, and it's not a disciplinary situation.

0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.080
<v Speaker 1>When we have a gap between kid breakfast, the two

0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.280
<v Speaker 1>of us can sit there and talk, which is nice

0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:57.640
<v Speaker 1>as well. I recognize that sometimes mornings begin early enough

0:03:57.720 --> 0:03:59.960
<v Speaker 1>and kids are young enough that it's hard to do

0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.480
<v Speaker 1>anything except grab a granola bar and get everyone dressed

0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:06.440
<v Speaker 1>and strapped into their car seats. But if there is

0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:10.520
<v Speaker 1>some flexibility, think through your morning routine and think if

0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:13.480
<v Speaker 1>there might be space to spend a little time doing

0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:17.839
<v Speaker 1>something other than getting ready. Could you and your spouse

0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:21.280
<v Speaker 1>share a cup of coffee together on the porch. If

0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.880
<v Speaker 1>you have young kids who wake up really early, could

0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.520
<v Speaker 1>you play or read together for half an hour before

0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.080
<v Speaker 1>you need to hop in the shower. Maybe you get

0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.400
<v Speaker 1>up fifteen minutes before your teens need to get up,

0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:33.560
<v Speaker 1>and you whip up some scrambled eggs to sit and

0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.600
<v Speaker 1>eat with them, Even if they're not actually talking to you.

0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:41.799
<v Speaker 1>Eating together is a form of communication in any case.

0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:44.160
<v Speaker 1>I know there's a story out there that mornings are

0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:48.320
<v Speaker 1>inevitably rushed and harried. The problem is that when we

0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:52.200
<v Speaker 1>tell ourselves this story, we start to believe it, and

0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:56.120
<v Speaker 1>we can choose to structure our lives differently. If the

0:04:56.200 --> 0:04:59.000
<v Speaker 1>upside is closer relationships with the people we love most.

0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:03.919
<v Speaker 1>Why not give it a try. In the meantime, this

0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:07.520
<v Speaker 1>is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:16.800
<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear

0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.599
<v Speaker 1>from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:23.440
<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:29.040
<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,

0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.080
<v Speaker 1>then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me

0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:36.760
<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:39.480
<v Speaker 1>dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.280
<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying

0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:51.000
<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio.

0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.479
<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i

0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:58.080
<v Speaker 1>heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:02.520
<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows. The