1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. 2 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 2: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:22,080 Speaker 2: Today's tip is to be a hungry listener. Whether you're 4 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 2: talking with a loved one or attending a presentation, let 5 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 2: the speaker feel your desire to hear what they are saying. 6 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 2: You'll help them and probably enjoy the experience more as well. 7 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,880 Speaker 2: So there's a wonderful passage in Zora Neil Hurston's novel 8 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 2: Their Eyes Were Watching God, when two old friends, Janie 9 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 2: and Phoebe are talking after time apart. During this time, 10 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 2: Jane had a series of intensely joyful and heartbreaking experiences, 11 00:00:55,400 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 2: and the narrative voice explains Phoebe's hungry listening Jane to 12 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 2: tell her story. I like that Janie wants her friend 13 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 2: to know what she has experienced and felt, and she 14 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 2: wants to process all that's happened, and Phoebe's hungry listening. 15 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 3: Makes that possible. I'm sure we've all had similar experiences. 16 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 3: A friend or family member who seems truly interested in 17 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 3: what you are saying can help you make sense of 18 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 3: an event or of complicated feelings. What a gift that is. 19 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:40,199 Speaker 3: But Hungry listening isn't just for deep, life altering conversations. 20 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 3: Good listeners can help anyone communicate more effectively. I know 21 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 3: I have had that experience while giving speeches. I love 22 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 3: to be able to see audience members smiles and nods 23 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 3: as they connect with what I am saying. Inevitably, I 24 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 3: wind up making way more eye contact with the smiling, 25 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 3: nodding folks than with anyone else. With virtual talks. I 26 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 3: know that lots of folks like to turn their cameras 27 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 3: off and relax while they're listening, and I totally get that, 28 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 3: but I do really appreciate when at least a few 29 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 3: folks leave their cameras on so I can see that 30 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 3: they are still with me. Sometimes I've even asked if 31 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 3: an organizer or two can leave their personal cameras on 32 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 3: so I can see if my jokes are landing or not. 33 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 3: Since I know how helpful this active listening is for 34 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 3: me as a speaker, I try to be a hungry 35 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 3: listener when I'm in a situation of listening to someone else. Yes, 36 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 3: it's easy to check your messages or do other work 37 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 3: or zone out, but by looking carefully at the presenter, 38 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 3: you can keep them on top of their game show empathy. 39 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 3: If they say something moving, laugh say something funny, the 40 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 3: presenter will feel encouraged, which means that they are going 41 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:11,679 Speaker 3: to give a better and more interesting talk. They might 42 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 3: possibly even give a more targeted talk. If your body 43 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 3: language shows when the person is saying something you are 44 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,679 Speaker 3: really into and then you are a little less intense 45 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 3: when they are off the mark, you're going to get 46 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 3: a lot more out of a better presentation than one 47 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 3: where the speaker is flying blind. If you become known 48 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 3: as a hungry listener, people are generally going to be 49 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 3: more excited to share information with you. There is so 50 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 3: much competing for our attention, to be sure, but it 51 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 3: isn't that hard to actively listen and engage with people 52 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 3: talking with you. And who knows when you might pick 53 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 3: up something interesting that is probably going to be a 54 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 3: better use of time than rolling around on the internet. Again, 55 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 3: in the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 56 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 3: here's to making the most of our time. 57 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You can 58 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just 59 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,679 Speaker 1: connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before 60 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four, then breakfast pod. 61 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 62 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled 63 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much, should I 64 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a 65 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 66 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 67 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 1: favorite shows.