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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: Let's just put it this way. This is an explicit podcast,

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Speaker 2: but this is one episode we may be dropping the

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Speaker 2: F bomb a lot. We may be saying the escord.

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Speaker 2: Get your kids to bed, get them out the room,

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Speaker 2: get your headphones in, because it's about to get real,

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Speaker 2: for real, for real.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 3: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Bussard, a

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Speaker 3: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women can just.

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Speaker 3: Be Hey, lady's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 3: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 3: of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 3: U E b R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you our quote of the day,

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Speaker 3: how embarrassing it is to be human. I'm let that

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Speaker 3: sink in. I'm gonna let that sink in, how embarrassing

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Speaker 3: it is to be human. Now, Lady, like today's episode is,

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Speaker 3: you know, it's gonna be light, and it's gonna have

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Speaker 3: some funny moments. It might have some gross moments, but

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Speaker 3: I think that speaks to our quote of the day,

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Speaker 3: how embarrassing it is to be human. As I'm saying that,

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Speaker 3: I'm having a slightly embarrassing moment because as we are

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Speaker 3: recording this, I probably should have eaten dinner before we

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Speaker 3: started recording, because my stomach is growling. And so, lady,

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Speaker 3: as you are listening, know that if you hear my stomach,

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Speaker 3: that means it had to have been embarrassingly loud because

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Speaker 3: we usually edit out background noise.

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Speaker 2: Yes, indeed, this is about to get so real. Let's

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Speaker 2: just put it this way. This is an explicit podcast,

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Speaker 2: but this is one episode we maybe dropping the F

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Speaker 2: bomb a lot. We may be seeing the escort. Get

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Speaker 2: your kids to beg get them out the room, get

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Speaker 2: your headphones in, because it's about to get real, for real,

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Speaker 2: for real. And I do want to say this is

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Speaker 2: a no judgment zone. So we're going to share some stories, lady,

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Speaker 2: and we just want you to Let's just envision that

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Speaker 2: we're like all in the same place. Okay, We're sitting

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Speaker 2: on the couch man, dom got our drink of choice,

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Speaker 2: You got your drink of choice, lady, and we just

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Speaker 2: having girl talking with chilling and nobody else is going

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Speaker 2: to hear this conversation. But the difference is, or the

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Speaker 2: reality is, Domina are about to put some of our

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Speaker 2: business out there and we just need you to just

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Speaker 2: appreciate the episode. And we're going with this. So I

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Speaker 2: think we should just just jump in with the first topic.

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Speaker 2: Don Let's talk about shitting, taking shits, taking big dumps

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Speaker 2: you want to call it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it's a part of life, part of life. Everybody

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Speaker 3: does it, and if you don't, you probably should be

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Speaker 3: seeing a doctor. M If you are concerned about the

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Speaker 3: level of shits that you take, go back and listen

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Speaker 3: to our episode where we talk about our gut health.

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Speaker 2: M hm, yes, I feel Look before we're diving down,

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Speaker 2: I feel I'm very excited. I feel like I couldn't

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Speaker 2: stop smiling when you were reading the code. I'm very

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Speaker 2: excited because I feel like I've had some personal experiences

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Speaker 2: with my shits that I needed to process with someone.

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Speaker 2: But I never will my best friend I do, she

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Speaker 2: will be a yes she. I've sent her pictures of

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Speaker 2: some big and she will block me or be very

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Speaker 2: upset because I just felt like I needed to share

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Speaker 2: it with someone. And if what are best friends for?

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Speaker 2: If you can't take a double black girl, it looks

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Speaker 2: like an elephant came up in this bathroom. That's what

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Speaker 2: kind of conversations this is that we're about to have. Okay,

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Speaker 2: let's talk about shitting at work. Do you have any

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Speaker 2: stories that you want to sell down about taking a

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Speaker 2: shit at work or any pro tips for when you're

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Speaker 2: preparing to take a shit at work.

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Speaker 3: All right, so listen. What I will say is that, lady,

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Speaker 3: it depends on your level of comfort and who you

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Speaker 3: are as a person in your workfloace setting. Okay, if

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Speaker 3: you were fortunate enough to work from home one hundred

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Speaker 3: percent of the time, I will admit that I might

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Speaker 3: be a little envious, because then that means you go

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Speaker 3: and handle business in the comfort of your home, and

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Speaker 3: there is nothing like taking a shit in your own bathroom. Okay,

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Speaker 3: Now what I will say is you gotta be strategic,

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Speaker 3: or at least this is how like I operate. You

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Speaker 3: gotta be strategic if you work in a setting where

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Speaker 3: it's a shared bathroom where you have multiple people coming

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Speaker 3: in and out of that bathroom, or maybe you're in

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Speaker 3: a bathroom that is not only public, but it's also

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Speaker 3: multiple stalls, so there really is no privacy. A few

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Speaker 3: pro tips. Seat covers are your best friends, okay if

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Speaker 3: your bathroom. If your workplace does not provide seat covers,

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Speaker 3: you can get them online for the low. Seat covers

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Speaker 3: are a must so that you can be comfortable because

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Speaker 3: nobody likes the squad and take a shit that's uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: Absolute not so.

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Speaker 3: And when you got to go, who has time to

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Speaker 3: like sit there and unroll all that toilet paper so

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Speaker 3: you can sit down, seat covers. Get you some your

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Speaker 3: second best friend spray, so whether that is We're not

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Speaker 3: sponsored by none of these products, so I'm not about

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Speaker 3: to listen no brand names, but y'all know, y'all know

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Speaker 3: the products.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: Get you some disinfectant, spray something to concentrate it, spray

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Speaker 3: something to cover the smell. Okay, right, and then my

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Speaker 3: my third so that's your two best friends. But then

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Speaker 3: my third pro tip is to immediately flush.

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Speaker 2: What does your courtesy flush look like?

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Speaker 3: Though?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like some people courtesy flush and that

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Speaker 2: means they do it once. What is your what does

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Speaker 2: your courtesy flesh look like or sound like?

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Speaker 3: If I'm taking a ship, then I'm gonna courtesy flush

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Speaker 3: multiple times?

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Speaker 2: Yes, every time it is about to drop in the toilet,

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Speaker 2: That's what I do. When you're about it. What's about

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Speaker 2: especially if someone else is in there, as soon as

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Speaker 2: it's about to drop, before it can stink up the

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Speaker 2: whole place or you hear though in the toilet, I'm

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Speaker 2: like flush every single tish, Sorry environment, we wasting water

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Speaker 2: over here, I know, but I will waste the water.

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Speaker 2: I will those are good dom I like those. I

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Speaker 2: do like to use the independent stall if it's available

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Speaker 2: in the spray and clean that place out so that

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Speaker 2: if somebody walks behind me, I don't got to walk

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Speaker 2: out with my head down because it is it is embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: I don't want anybody to walking behind me after I

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Speaker 2: took a dump, like I know, I'm just I keep

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Speaker 2: that private if it's a stall though.

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Speaker 3: Well, one more pro tip, what's that if you can,

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Speaker 3: because sometimes it just hits you when you can't. Yes,

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Speaker 3: be strategic about when you go. Mmm, so there tend

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Speaker 3: to be high traffic times, Yes, if you can go

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Speaker 3: at a not high traffic time.

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Speaker 2: Not when everybody's on our lunch break, right, if you

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Speaker 2: can avoid it.

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Speaker 3: If you can avoid it, obviously, we don't want you

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Speaker 3: holding stuff in because that does impact your system and

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Speaker 3: we don't exactly you want everybody to have good gut health. Yes,

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Speaker 3: and avoid embarrassing moments.

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Speaker 2: I know he's talking about shitting, but I because my

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Speaker 2: mom's talking. When I was younger, squat like I've squatted

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Speaker 2: on toilets my whole life. Basically when I was younger,

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Speaker 2: she would take us to public restrooms. You would stand

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Speaker 2: up on the toilet seat if they didn't have the

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Speaker 2: little sheets or the covers, and we would do it

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Speaker 2: that way. But now you know, I'll be in the gym.

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Speaker 2: So I got a little thigh action because I could

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Speaker 2: squat a little bit. However, what I have experienced lately

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Speaker 2: is that when I squat and I'm pink, sometimes my

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Speaker 2: pee I don't know what's going on with my stream

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Speaker 2: of peep, but sometimes it'll just flatter everywhere, so it's

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Speaker 2: not like one single stream. I get the ship on

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Speaker 2: my back leg on my fucking shoe and I be like,

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Speaker 2: what the now, I gotta wipe down you two.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I thought it was just my peace stream.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, why is my peanut going in straight line?

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Speaker 3: Okay, So here's the thing. Here's the thing with that.

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Speaker 3: So it's two things. One, if you get wax sugar

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Speaker 3: or any type of hair removal, when there is no

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Speaker 3: hair there there is nothing to direct okay seriously or

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Speaker 3: yeah I.

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Speaker 2: Did not, I didn't even put that together. Pay attention

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Speaker 2: next time after you.

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Speaker 3: And then or how hard like how forceful you're being?

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Speaker 2: See, I do like the little key, especially because I

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Speaker 2: when I see it starts to like go everywhere, I

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Speaker 2: start to do the little kegel where I like gently

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Speaker 2: just let it froll out so I can control it.

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Speaker 2: Another thing, pro tip, that's the pro tip. Do your kegels.

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Speaker 2: Make sure it doesn't splash everywhere. Tyra Banks also did

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Speaker 2: the show. Her show used to be lit back in

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Speaker 2: the day. I used to love the Tyber Show. She

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Speaker 2: did an episode that I always think about when I

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Speaker 2: go to a public restroom, and she talked about how

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Speaker 2: when you go to a public restroom a lot of

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Speaker 2: times child I mean ladies, please don't do this. I've

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Speaker 2: seen some women who go into the bathroom just drop

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Speaker 2: their pants and let them fall to the ground. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: let them fall to the I literally you look under

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Speaker 2: the stall, and I need to look under. You can

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Speaker 2: just see underneath that their pants draws everything just down

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Speaker 2: to their feet, numbable. We can't do it. Next thing,

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Speaker 2: when you're on the toilet and you're squatting, pull your

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Speaker 2: pants away from the toilet bowl. That's what Tyber used

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Speaker 2: to say. So your pants because you squatting, but then

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Speaker 2: you draw your draws your underwear or a peny liner

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Speaker 2: pad it's all rubbing up against the toilet bowl and

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Speaker 2: somebody else and took a dump and it splashed it

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Speaker 2: all up on the toilet bowl. We can't do it, No,

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Speaker 2: we can't.

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Speaker 3: No, we can't know, we can't.

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Speaker 2: So protect your environment.

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Speaker 3: Yes, because people have honestly missed thing and have gotten

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Speaker 3: stuff on on the floor, on the toilet seat itself,

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Speaker 3: like you know, if you really you know, there are

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Speaker 3: the full seat covers, so you know, most bathroom stalls

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Speaker 3: have like the seat covers that cover just just the

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Speaker 3: toilet seat, right, but there are the seat covers that

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Speaker 3: cover the sides of the toilets like a full.

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Speaker 2: Situation. Yes, no judgment. Two more things about ship, y'all,

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Speaker 2: and we're gonna change the subject. I know you're like,

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Speaker 2: y'all nasty, but this is this is the topic we

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Speaker 2: warned you. Okay, So you may have those into another

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Speaker 2: episode if this is not the topic for you. I

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Speaker 2: know a couple of people who when they take ships,

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Speaker 2: they have to get butt naked. No judgment. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: like in public, I know, Oh yes, I know something

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Speaker 2: you were.

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Speaker 3: Talking about at home.

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Speaker 2: Nope, oh no, no, no, but I feel you at home. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but no I know someone who in a public restroom

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Speaker 2: he used to take off or yeah, this is what

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Speaker 2: he told me. He would take off all of his

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Speaker 2: clothes like booty butter Ball naked, hang them up and

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Speaker 2: take that ship. I said, Okay, do you think playing

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Speaker 2: I ain't. Hey, whatever works for.

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Speaker 3: You, space them stalls, don't be that big.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel vulnerable about That's just me though,

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Speaker 2: I will feel vulnerable. I will be able to jet

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Speaker 2: if you hear a fire alarm, or if you're here

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Speaker 2: at the burglar or you know what I mean, like

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Speaker 2: I want to know who will be robbing the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, you get yeah.

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Speaker 3: But I get what you say, like it feels a

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Speaker 3: little yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: I think one day in life we will modern technology

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Speaker 3: and innovation. Maybe maybe in our lifetime, hopefully, because we've

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Speaker 3: come a long way from outhouses and so yeah, maybe

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Speaker 3: modern technology will be such that every restaurant, whether it's

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Speaker 3: in your house or out in public, will have like

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Speaker 3: a bidet situation, will have a seat warmer, and will

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Speaker 3: have the hygiene things that we need so you feel clean,

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Speaker 3: You feel comfortable sitting down bear booty after somebody else

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Speaker 3: has been there, because it has all the things.

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Speaker 2: All the sanitization and all that good stuff. I will

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Speaker 2: say the last thing I want to talk about. There's

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Speaker 2: so much more that we can talk about. Like clearly,

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Speaker 2: we've been talking about shit for like twenty minutes, the

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Speaker 2: last thing. And I'm so glad that I've learned that

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Speaker 2: I'm not the only one because I've had this conversation

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Speaker 2: with a couple of people. Will you take a shit

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Speaker 2: and you go to wipe right, you know, we wipe

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Speaker 2: front to back and then behind your hand. I don't

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Speaker 2: know about you. I look at my toilet paper after

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Speaker 2: I'm done. I like to see you. I want to

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Speaker 2: see what does my poop look like, what's the consistency,

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Speaker 2: what's the color? And then I look at my tissue

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Speaker 2: like okay, all right, just to see what's what's happening.

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Speaker 2: But then the other day I got shit on my

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Speaker 2: nail and I was so pissed, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: why does it? I feel like, why does this always

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Speaker 2: happen to me? It's so annoying. I feel so grossed.

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Speaker 2: But I wash my hands thoroughly, like disinfecting all that.

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Speaker 2: But I just be like, come on, can't we just

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Speaker 2: keep it together?

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Speaker 3: Then it makes me think about the quality of the

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Speaker 3: toilet paper mm hmm. And then how many other people

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Speaker 3: does this happen to who don't be washing their hands

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Speaker 3: for real?

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Speaker 2: And I'm a clean person, Dom, So I'm like, if

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Speaker 2: I we're clear, like we're we're clean, like our space skins,

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Speaker 2: we're like very tidy for those people. I've seen people

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Speaker 2: go into the bathroom and I wash their hands, and

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Speaker 2: so if you got some shitty it makes I'm so happy.

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Speaker 2: The one the silver lining of COVID is like not

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Speaker 2: shaking hands. I now have a reason when people are like, oh,

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Speaker 2: shake care, I'm like, oh, let's do elbows COVID. COVID, Yes, elbows,

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Speaker 2: because I don't want to such a shitty hand, right right. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So lady, if you thought you were the only one

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Speaker 2: with shitty stories, you're not. We're in this together, or

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Speaker 2: talk about it. Let's talk about it. We're humans, Okay, Yes,

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Speaker 2: this is what we do. This is what we do,

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Speaker 2: this is what goes down.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: The next topic is about hair woes. Now, many of us,

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Speaker 2: as black women, we know the hair is such a thing.

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Speaker 2: Like I literally, Dom have looked at my calendar and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, if I got this vacation, I got

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Speaker 2: this event, I got to get my hair done on

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Speaker 2: this day. Like literally, I have a whole project plan

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Speaker 2: for my hair. The crochet that I wear right now

295
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,800
Speaker 2: has been so convenient because I can just let it

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Speaker 2: rock for like a month plus and it's just easy.

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Speaker 2: But there are embarrassing moments that come along with this

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Speaker 2: hair journey.

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Speaker 3: Yes, oh child, Yes, because I'm with you on having

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Speaker 3: being strategic about planning when I'm going to get my

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Speaker 3: braids redone, when I'm going to give my full lox redone,

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Speaker 3: like in between like vacations and events or like even

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00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 3: podcast recording, being strategic about taking care of what my

304
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 3: hair looks like, Yes, it is. It is a big deal.

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Speaker 3: And the last thing we need, the last thing we

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Speaker 3: want is for something embarrassing to happen with our hair

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Speaker 3: and embarrassing in front of other people. Right Yeah, Like

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Speaker 3: I know one one fear of mine that is slightly

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Speaker 3: irrational because of the way my hair is done, Okay,

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Speaker 3: is and maybe it's based in as I'm thinking it through,

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Speaker 3: it's based in previous experience of me doing manipulating my

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Speaker 3: hair in some way in public, Like maybe I'm taking

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Speaker 3: it out of a bun or a ponytail, or putting

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Speaker 3: it up into a bun or a ponytail in public. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and a braid falling.

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Speaker 2: Out, Oh my gosh, Yes, I feel that. I feel

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Speaker 2: that there was a time where I was somewhere and

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Speaker 2: I think I was around white people, and I really

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Speaker 2: don't want that to happen around white people because then

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Speaker 2: you got to explain, and then it's the weird questions.

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Speaker 2: I think, I don't know where I was, but there

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00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 2: was a braid, Like there was a random braid in

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Speaker 2: the street, like some I don't know why how the

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Speaker 2: break got in the street, but it was a random brad. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like what happened here?

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Speaker 3: What happened here?

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Speaker 2: I was just so happy that the braid didn't match

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Speaker 2: my braid style because then it would have looked like

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Speaker 2: it was my braid that was in the street and

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Speaker 2: I was with people, and they would have been like, oh,

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Speaker 2: your hair fell out or something crazy, and I would

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Speaker 2: have been like, oh my gosh, like so embarrassed. So

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Speaker 2: I I feel you on that. Yes, Okay, now I'm debating.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead, let's let's talk about this.

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Speaker 2: Okay, talk about it.

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00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:44,199
Speaker 3: I'm speaking from heterosexual experience. So when it comes to

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Speaker 3: sexual intimacy, now, lady, if you've been with your partner

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Speaker 3: for a long time, then hopefully y'all are in a

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Speaker 3: space where you are comfortable enough to have your hair

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00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 3: tied up with your bonnet or your head wrap at

341
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Speaker 3: night to protect your edges so you know, protect your style,

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00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 3: whatever you gotta do right. And even if you were

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Speaker 3: not at that level with your partner, you haven't been

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00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 3: together that long, maybe you were at a stage in

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00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: life where you were comfortable enough with your authentic self

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00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,959
Speaker 3: that if you wear a wig and you take your

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Speaker 3: wig off at night, you have a head scarf or

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Speaker 3: your bonnet before y'all get ready to have sex. But

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Speaker 3: what if he didn't see that in between process. What

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00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 3: if he didn't see the taking off the wig and

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Speaker 3: tying up the bond like, you know, seeing the cap

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Speaker 3: the wig cap and your hair underneath, and because you

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Speaker 3: put a scarf over that or you put your bonnet

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Speaker 3: on over that.

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Speaker 2: M m mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: What if he didn't see that process right because you know,

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00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,360
Speaker 3: you got your headscarf tied up all cute, you got

358
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 3: your fancy bonnet so like it still looks cute, right,

359
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 3: it still looks fashionable.

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00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: Let's be real, it must be real. There are times

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Speaker 3: when that falls off. Mm hmmm. So what do you do?

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Speaker 2: What do you do?

364
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 3: Do you keep going?

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00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 2: I have a little story for this one down. Okay,

366
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: back in my day, I was backing this is back

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00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 2: in college. I had slipped down my baby hair, had

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Speaker 2: a little side park, had this cute little curly pony

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00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 2: sail that mashed my curl pattern, and I had the

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Speaker 2: pony sell up in this little bun or back in

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Speaker 2: this little bun. So you know, I was getting it

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Speaker 2: in doing my thing, back in my single days, doing

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Speaker 2: my thing, and all I know is I have my

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Speaker 2: bobby pins in. And you know also times when you

375
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 2: get your little weed ponytail, you got the bobby pinning,

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00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 2: and sometimes the bobby pin will be poking like a

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Speaker 2: certain part in your head and it kind of hurts,

378
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 2: but you're like, I know it's secure, it ain't going

379
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 2: on that security. Abruptly just stopped in the middle of,

380
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 2: you know, doing to do, and I felt my ponytail

381
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 2: start to come out, and so I just held my

382
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 2: hand like you gotta, you gotta come on, Pat Tron

383
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: and watch the videos. You can see the visuals. Have

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00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 2: my hand on the back of my ponytail like this,

385
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,400
Speaker 2: and I just kept going like like nothing happened, because

386
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,120
Speaker 2: I went to hold it in place and make sure

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00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: the other person, you know, make sure he didn't see

388
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 2: what was happening, because it wasn't that type of it

389
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 2: was like a flint it wasn't like a real relationship.

390
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 2: So I'm holding it and I have my hand up

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00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,160
Speaker 2: like this the whole time. And then afterward I went

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Speaker 2: to the bathroom and fixed that thing back in, laid

393
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 2: it all down, and I don't even think now, I

394
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,119
Speaker 2: don't even think you knew. But it was so embarrassing

395
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,360
Speaker 2: at the moment because I was like, I didn't want

396
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: my pony tail to come off, and I had this

397
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 2: little barely bun back there, and it just would have

398
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 2: looked wild. So yeah, that was that was almostmbarrassing. Didn't

399
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 2: quite get to the embarrassing part. But it happens.

400
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 3: It, Yeah, it happened. The hair our hair, you know,

401
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 3: we say our hair is our crowning glory and.

402
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 2: Ooh mm hmm.

403
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you know, in those moments like yeah,

404
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 3: you hold on for dear life, and for the life,

405
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 3: and you figure out other you figure out of the

406
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 3: positions so that you can continue to hold onto your

407
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 3: hair and get it in.

408
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 2: My thing is hopefully we're not with partners who are

409
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 2: going to like make your worse right or embarrass you

410
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: or what the like, just some of the crazy words.

411
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 2: Now you feel insecure self. That's that's the that's the

412
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 2: story on hair roes. Next, we're gonna move on to clumsiness.

413
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Speaker 2: I feel like I was clumsy when I was younger.

414
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 2: Dim I am definitely mean too. I'm not too clumsy

415
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 2: these days, but I've definitely had moments where I've been

416
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 2: walking by myself and I'll trip and I just laugh

417
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,040
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, fuck, I hope nobody saw that.

418
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: I just on one of my low key fears though,

419
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 2: is like falling walking across the street, or like falling

420
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: in front of a big group of people. I feel

421
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,879
Speaker 2: like I get embarrassed easily. But I know how to

422
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 2: laugh at myself, but I just feel like if I

423
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: were to fall. Oh, one time, I was walking to

424
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 2: the grocery store in San Francisco. This is what we do.

425
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,959
Speaker 2: We walk everywhere, right walking to the grocery store, with

426
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 2: my little I call it my grandy cart, right that

427
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 2: my ground store back in the day walking and there

428
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 2: was a little elevation in the segment that I didn't realize,

429
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: and when I was walking, my cart flipped over. I

430
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 2: almost flipped over and rolled on top of the cart,

431
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 2: but it didn't happen, thank god. But it was a busy,

432
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: crowded street, and I was like, yo, somebody would have

433
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,439
Speaker 2: definitely cast this on camera and it probably would have

434
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: went viral and it would have been messed. Yes, so

435
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 2: I didn't fall, but almost. Okay, okay, what about shoot down?

436
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 2: What stories do you have about you.

437
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 3: Know, I'm similar in that I have developed this fear

438
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 3: of falling like and so, and we've talked about it

439
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,719
Speaker 3: on the Podcas has before about that fear of falling

440
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 3: has kept me from like in gate, like going when

441
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 3: I'm going down escalators or going down stairs from like

442
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 3: extreme high elevation, like I'm holding on for dear life,

443
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,360
Speaker 3: taking my time because.

444
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 2: Fear falling.

445
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 3: Right, And I recognize that a lot of that comes

446
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 3: from not from actually falling down a flight of stairs

447
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 3: or anything like that. But I remember in middle school.

448
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 3: I can laugh at it now, but in middle school.

449
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 3: This had to have been like maybe the first week

450
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 3: of school, and in our middle school at the time,

451
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,959
Speaker 3: it was only seventh and eighth graders. So we're in

452
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 3: seventh grade and we're walking across we've walked across the

453
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 3: street to go to the bus stop, and at that time,

454
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 3: like you know, we're all waiting in line to ride

455
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 3: public transportation. So there's a long line of other middle

456
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 3: stoo right, and it's me, my best friend and two

457
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 3: other friends. And the sidewalks are like jacked up because

458
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: the trees, like they built the sidewalks around the trees,

459
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: and the trees keep growing and the sidewalks get jacked up. Right,

460
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 3: So we're walking and one of my friend's trips first,

461
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 3: and I ended up tripping over her and fell. Both

462
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 3: of us fell to the ground. My glasses got knocked off,

463
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 3: and luckily, like we fell in front of this clinic,

464
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 3: and so then a nurse came out and or one

465
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,640
Speaker 3: of somebody on staff came out and was checking on us,

466
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 3: and like so my glasses had to get taped up,

467
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 3: and then I think I might have skinned my knee.

468
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 3: I don't know. It was just embarrassing and I just

469
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: remember not looking back because we had already passed the

470
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 3: long line of students. I just remember not looking back

471
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 3: at that line of students because I would have been mortified,

472
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 3: more mortified than I already was if I had seen

473
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 3: their faces right right?

474
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 2: Did you hear laughing? Do you know, like if.

475
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 3: I blocked that part out? I know if I'm sure

476
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 3: there was some laughter because it's middle school, because I

477
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 3: can't even think if I hadn't have been the person

478
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 3: that fell, I would have been exactly because it's middle school.

479
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 3: But that's the first school.

480
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 2: Mean, y'all had y'all fresh, y'all fresh shp on looking

481
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 2: nice with the uniforms, so okay, but you had your new, new.

482
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 3: New uniform, new shoes, like you know, yeah, I know

483
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 3: it wasn't just me. And it was a constant reminder

484
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 3: because my mom couldn't have or to get new glasses

485
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 3: at that point, so I had to wait for the

486
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 3: next insurance here to roll around for to get glasses.

487
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 3: So I'm walking around with tape on the side of

488
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 3: my glasses for months, and so it was a constant

489
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 3: reminder of remember when you fell. And then there was

490
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 3: the bus stop that we had to go to and

491
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 3: so like, literally, I had that visual reminder every day,

492
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 3: And you know, my middle school self was shy and

493
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 3: awkward and super mortified. My adult self would say, you know,

494
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 3: at this point in life, like I'm gonna laugh at all,

495
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be I will be still hella embarrassed, I would, right,

496
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 3: but I'm gonna laugh it off, right like, I'm gonna

497
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 3: find some kind of way to play it off and

498
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 3: keep it wunning.

499
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 2: I feel like it's easier to laugh it off when

500
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 2: you don't care hurt for real, for real. Sometimes, like

501
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 2: if you ever you ever like get hurt and you

502
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,360
Speaker 2: try to laugh it off, I'm like, yo, that shit

503
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: actually really hurt. Like I'm in painting right now. That's

504
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 2: that's when it's not fun. I just don't like any

505
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 2: of it. Actually, it's all just mortifying. But I'm glad

506
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 2: that you were. Okay, yes, should we dive into this

507
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 2: next topic? Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's talk about gas. Okay,

508
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 2: let's talk about gas. Let's talk about how do you

509
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 2: hide it? Do you hide it? Some people think it's funny.

510
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 2: It still is funny when I hear somebody I oh,

511
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm ten.

512
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 3: I feel like a little kid like or cracking up it, yes,

513
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 3: cracking making fun like when I'm with my sisters or like,

514
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 3: you know, m.

515
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: Hm, how about I was raising past gas. I was

516
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 2: not allowed to say farted in my household. Isn't that interesting?

517
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 3: I think it depends on the household. My grandparents were

518
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 3: like that. We could not say We could not say fart.

519
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 3: And even we didn't say fart, we said five oh

520
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 3: five mm hmm. Interesting, but we couldn't say it around

521
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 3: my grandparents. We had to say pass gas pass.

522
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: And it's so funny because now my daughter, we're starting

523
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 2: to teach her to say excuse me after she passed

524
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 2: gases and my husband's as fart and it makes me

525
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: like cringe. It's not a bad word, and so whatever

526
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: she's gonna say, she's gonna say whatever, like whether it's

527
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: pass gas or part. But it's so interesting how when

528
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: you're raised to say certain things, like you just internalize

529
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 2: it and it's still like a bad word to me

530
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 2: in some ways, like it just well it makes me cringe,

531
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 2: like don't it's a bad word. But anyway, gas Okay, now,

532
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 2: domb I don't even know where to start with gas.

533
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 2: I do have a story I want to share with you,

534
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 2: but I feel like I don't want to. I don't

535
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: want to come into hot no pun intended.

536
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 3: I'm Here's the thing is that what makes it so

537
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 3: embarrassing is that sometimes it's unpredictable, right, yes, And if

538
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 3: you don't know what you if you don't remember what

539
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 3: you ate or what how what impact it's gonna have

540
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 3: on you if you were in a public setting, you

541
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 3: don't know what could it just sounds it's.

542
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: The way it sounds like, you're right. I just you know,

543
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: the silent killers where you don't know who get it.

544
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 2: That's happened to me plenty of times where I hop

545
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 2: into a lift and then I smell that smell and

546
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I know somebody in here farded and

547
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 2: that's fucking trifling that you're just gonna do it and

548
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: keep the windows up and keep you stuck in here

549
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: and you know what you did. But I didn't hear it,

550
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: but I could smell it, you know what I mean?

551
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 3: Yes, the worst kids, The worst is on the airplane

552
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 3: because you're on that plane for a long time exactly,

553
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 3: don't know how just funky.

554
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. There have been times. I'm sure

555
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 2: I've been in situations where you know how you just

556
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 2: got the bubble guts and you're just like, bro, can

557
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 2: you get it together? And your body is not cooperating,

558
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 2: And I know, I know I've let out some silent

559
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: ones around people at some point, yes, and you're just like, oh,

560
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 2: that was me, And I ain't want to say goddamn thing. No,

561
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep moving, like I don't know exactly, so

562
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: I guess I get it if someone did that recently

563
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 2: on a plane and I literally just I was like,

564
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 2: I just put my hands in the size. I just

565
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 2: put my hands over my over my nose because I

566
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: was just so I gonna smell your heart or your

567
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 2: past gas.

568
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, but the reality is is that

569
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 3: we like, why is it so embarrassing? I know, why

570
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: are all any of these things so embarrassing when these

571
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 3: are things that we all do, right.

572
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: Like society though, right we're talking kind to be embarrassed

573
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 2: by some of these.

574
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 3: But how do we what can we do to kind

575
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,479
Speaker 3: of let that go, right, Like let go of some

576
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: of that stigma around Like, yeah, I'm a working I

577
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 3: had to take a ship, you know, like I had

578
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 3: some I had a bunch of beans and now I'm

579
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 3: just letting them rip like that, that that that lunch

580
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 3: was good, that that food was rolling, and especially on

581
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 3: a Monday when I done have some red things and rice, man,

582
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 3: it was rolling. And now so is my stomach.

583
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 2: So do you like?

584
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 3: Do you like?

585
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: I know some people. I know some women in particular

586
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 2: who are like, I don't care, Like I'll do it

587
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: around my partner. I'll do it around anybody. Like I

588
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: have gas. I have gas. I'm too I'm a little

589
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 2: too shamed because I don't I don't really like to

590
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 2: do it in front of anyone. If it happens, it happens,

591
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 2: But like I don't like, I will hold it. I

592
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 2: know it's not good for us. I read the book

593
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 2: that I do. But if I'm around certain people, I'll

594
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: get to a space where I can do it, Like

595
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: even with my I went to the gym. I'll go

596
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 2: to the gym three times a week, lady, and my

597
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: trainer he'll like stretch me at the end of the

598
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: at the end of the workout. And so last week

599
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 2: I was feeling gassy and I was like, no, I

600
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 2: don't want to take them deep breaths and get too comfortable.

601
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 2: So he was like, Okay, it's time to stretch. I said.

602
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: I was like, hey see, I'm a little gassy today.

603
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: Let's get let's get the stretch. And he just started laughing.

604
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 2: But I was like it's the truth. And I just

605
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 2: I don't want you no, like I'm I'm we were good.

606
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: I don't want to mess this up.

607
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, but you know, as you said that, that

608
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 3: made me think about, yeah, working out, like at the

609
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 3: gym or like, I know there are times, I mean

610
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 3: I don't I haven't been in the gym in a while,

611
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: but on my peloton, like I will, like because it's

612
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 3: me in the house and like if it comes, it

613
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 3: comes right. But I remember going to the yoga studio

614
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 3: and you know some of them yoga posters, particularly that

615
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 3: happy baby post because I mean, we know that's real,

616
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 3: Like we do that with babies because it helps release

617
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 3: the gas. Yeah, and I can't even refront if I

618
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 3: am having a hard time like with like my stomach

619
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,959
Speaker 3: is rumbling, but I can't. I like we've all had

620
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 3: those moments where you need to let the gas like

621
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,719
Speaker 3: just pass right, and I will I will do that

622
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 3: happy baby to help ease things along.

623
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,479
Speaker 2: That's on your back with your feet up.

624
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and you like put your knees like and

625
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 3: you can put your knees in your chest and kind

626
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 3: of rock back and forth just like you would do

627
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: a baby yep to help move it along. But you're

628
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 3: in yoga.

629
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 2: Class, I know.

630
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 3: And like, I can't tell you how many times I

631
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 3: have smelled other people's farts in the yoga studio because

632
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 3: people just was letting it work. Because I mean, at

633
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 3: that point, like you can't like it's just it's just happening.

634
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 2: I know it's natural, but I don't like to smell

635
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 2: other people's funk, whether it's like your breath, your farts.

636
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,280
Speaker 2: I don't. But there are times where I passed gas

637
00:34:55,800 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 2: and I'm like, red, is that is that weird?

638
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:02,479
Speaker 3: Lady?

639
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 2: Like have you ever expelled your own? Lady? It's just us.

640
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 2: You could be honest, Okay, have you ever had some

641
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: gas and you were like, oh, that wasn't bad, because

642
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 2: I know I definitely have. I was like, go ahead, girl,

643
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: what you eat?

644
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 3: M see? And that's the thing. After our conversation about

645
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 3: gut health with Lauren, I really started paying attention every

646
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 3: time I passed gas. I'd be like, Okay, how's my

647
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 3: did it? Okay, maybe I need to have some more

648
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 3: fiber today. Okay, let me let me tell it out

649
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 3: like this is. This is a determination of like what

650
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 3: I've been eating. Okay.

651
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 2: The last story I want to sell about this is

652
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 2: it's embarrassing. But you know what, lady, I've come to

653
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: the realization that I am going to share this with

654
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: the world and if anyone makes fun of me, it's okay,

655
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: it's natural. Well, I don't think this happens to everybody.

656
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 2: This was I was so surprised that this happened. I

657
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 2: don't know what happened, but here's here's the story. Was

658
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 2: at home one day working on the project. And this

659
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: is before having a baby, and a lot of times

660
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 2: when I would work, I would stay in the office

661
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: for hours and where I bring a snack and I

662
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 2: would just stay there, sometimes so much so like if

663
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: I had to go to the bathroom, I know it's

664
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 2: not good, but I would just be like, okay, wait,

665
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 2: I gotta get this one thing done. And I felt

666
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 2: some gas coming, and so you ever have those little

667
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 2: it's like a little I'm going to say, fart, A

668
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 2: little fart where it's like it's small and you're like, oh, okay,

669
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:23,879
Speaker 2: I could just let this one out and then get

670
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 2: back to whatever I'm doing. Like it's not like a

671
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 2: brine like the big one. Right. Yeah, So this was

672
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 2: a little one, but it kind of needed a little

673
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 2: bit of guidance. So I had to do it like

674
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 2: I was sitting down on my thing. Had to do

675
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 2: a little bit of pushing. So I pushed a little

676
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: and something just didn't feel right because I felt like

677
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 2: squishiness and stuff in buddha cheeks. So mind you, my

678
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 2: husband is home, he's behind me, he's in the kitchen, y'all.

679
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 2: I just shirded on myself, and so I quietly walked

680
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: up the stairs clenching my ass cheeks to make sure

681
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 2: that nothing failed. And he didn't know what the fuck

682
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: happened if I was trying to keep it on, went

683
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 2: to the bathroom, shamed myself in the mirror, like, bitch,

684
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 2: how to how you do this at home? But luckily

685
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 2: it was at home, Yes, luckily, and again I'm a

686
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 2: clean person all, but it happens. I don't know, Yeah,

687
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 2: it happened. Don't judge, it's happened to you know that

688
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 2: you are not alone. It's okay. Team, Please do not

689
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: use this clip for social media. Let's keep this for

690
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 2: the people that are on Patreon and the people that

691
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 2: listen to the podcast. We are not going to repost.

692
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 2: So clean myself up now. I don't even think I

693
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 2: ever told my husband, and I was going to take

694
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: it to the grave, but I've shared it with you.

695
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 2: So that's about it.

696
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 3: We appreciate you sharing your embarrassing sharting story with us.

697
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 3: We do, we do, and so on that note, we

698
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:53,760
Speaker 3: are going to move on to the next embarrassing thing. Right,

699
00:37:55,040 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 3: So it's still along the lines of passing gas, but

700
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:09,919
Speaker 3: this is something that every m Yes, yes, I would

701
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 3: venture to say every woman who has had sex with

702
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 3: the man or has had any type of penetraive, penetrative

703
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 3: and get my words together, vaginal sex. Right, yeah, so

704
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 3: you have you have put something in your vagina. Let

705
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 3: me when am I trying to sound all you have

706
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 3: put something in your vagina something, then chances are you

707
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 3: have experienced queafing mm hmm.

708
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. When I was younger, it was very very embarrassing,

709
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 2: right yeah, Oh my goodness, like mortified because I feel

710
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: like it was also this sort of I don't even

711
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 2: want to say societal norm, but it was something in

712
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: my friend group where they're boys and girls. I mean

713
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: we were like what college the kids like it was

714
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 2: something that was like, oh you do that, Like, oh

715
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 2: my gosh, Like it was this nasty thing. Now we've

716
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 2: grown as fuck, it's normal, you know, having a long

717
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 2: term partner right now, like I'm not embarrassed of it now,

718
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: but back then, oh my god, especially if it's like

719
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 2: your first time with someone or it's just like a

720
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 2: fuck buddy, you're like, yo, were not even all we

721
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 2: won't even be cuddling after it's just this, and then

722
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 2: you start queaping after Oh my god. It used to

723
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 2: be so embarrassing. But it's normal.

724
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 3: It's normal. And I think that's the beauty of aging, right,

725
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 3: is that after a certain point in life, certain things

726
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 3: that you would be totally mortified by, yeah, you recognize

727
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 3: are normal that everyone has experienced it, or most people

728
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 3: have experience instead.

729
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

730
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 3: You kind of, you know, maybe you laugh it off, right, yeah,

731
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:13,280
Speaker 3: or maybe you acknowledge that it happened and you keep going.

732
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 3: It's not like this big mortifying thing that you have

733
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 3: to stop and process.

734
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, never mind. I want to ask if you

735
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 2: were with a new person mm hmm, would it be

736
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 2: would you be would you feel a way? I kind

737
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: of felt like if I was with a new sexual

738
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 2: partner and it happened, I feel like I still feel

739
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 2: a little bashful. I'd be like, pardon me.

740
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 3: I mean maybe it might be a quick laugh. Oh yeah, yeah,

741
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 3: But I don't think that it has to be like

742
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 3: something that completely stops you all from having sex. Oh yeah,

743
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 3: and you're so mortified that like now you're like you

744
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 3: don't want you don't want to have sex with this

745
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 3: person anymore, or your word about what this person is

746
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 3: gonna say about you to their friends or whoever. Yeah, nah,

747
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 3: be dealing with that normal and.

748
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 2: Honestly, part of me is like if any grown ass

749
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 2: men or any grown ass people are making fun of

750
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 2: someone like it happens, and if you're the if you're

751
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 2: the one that's happened to you, and you laugh and

752
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 2: you're like, oh my gosh, fine, But if the other

753
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 2: person makes you feel away, they don't deserve.

754
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,439
Speaker 3: I'll give you that part.

755
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 2: That part, it's raight, all right, I see you later,

756
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 2: I see you later, Because like what it's normal, Like,

757
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 2: come on.

758
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 3: It is it is.

759
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 2: Now the next topic. Mm hmmm. I feel like I'm

760
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 2: just telling all my business now the next topic. The

761
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 2: best way we could word this is just let's just

762
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 2: say it smelly vagina. Yeah, since coming from your vagina. Now,

763
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 2: I'm gonna let you lead this in our china with

764
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 2: my experience after that.

765
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 3: And the reality is that because and what we keep

766
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 3: what we the thing we want to keep pointing out

767
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 3: is that all of what we are talking about today

768
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 3: is normal. So every person who has a vagina, that

769
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 3: vagina has a smell. Everybody, everybody. If you got a vagina,

770
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 3: it got a smell. And sometimes your vagina has a

771
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 3: pleasant smell. Sometimes it doesn't. And when it doesn't, that

772
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:44,840
Speaker 3: can be a result of a number of things. Maybe

773
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 3: you change up your soap, maybe you changed up your

774
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:54,800
Speaker 3: body lotion or your body oil. Maybe it was something

775
00:42:54,840 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 3: you ate or drank. Maybe you have an infection and

776
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 3: not just an STI, but maybe you have a yeast

777
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:13,760
Speaker 3: infection or some other type of bacterial infection. But there's

778
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 3: something there that is causing it to smell. Mm hmm.

779
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 3: I mean when you go to the bathroom, if you've

780
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 3: had a lot of coffee. Mm hm, it's you're gonna

781
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 3: smell your urine. If you eat asparagus, a lot of asparagus,

782
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 3: m it will smell smell up your urine. Yeah. If

783
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,720
Speaker 3: you've been doing a heavy intent workout and you sweat

784
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:50,959
Speaker 3: a lot, maybe it smells like sweat. Yes, there's lots

785
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:59,320
Speaker 3: of things, lots of reasons why your vagina may be smelling.

786
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: And when I and at least when I say smelly,

787
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 3: I mean it smells different from how it normally smells.

788
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 3: Because again, everybody's vagina gotta smell everybody.

789
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 2: I definitely I'm when I say smelly, I'm talking with

790
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 2: unpleasant smell. But I'm going to tell you y'all why

791
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 2: that's the case. But really quickly, I think we most

792
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: of us write this down. But take my vationinal health

793
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: very seriously. Like to have it smelling a certain way,

794
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 2: looking a certain way, feeling a certain way for myself, right, Yeah,

795
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 2: I take pride in that, and so I feel like

796
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: the older I've gotten, the scent has definitely changed. But Lord,

797
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 2: and part of that's normal, right, And this is normal

798
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:46,439
Speaker 2: to the postpartum journey, y'all. After having a girl, after

799
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 2: having a child, I feel like my vagina felt broken

800
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 2: for a minute, and I felt I had a broken pussy.

801
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 2: I had a broken pussy. Yes, And I take so

802
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 2: much pride having that good good which I know we

803
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: all do because I know we all got that why right, girl?

804
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 2: It was it was, it was. It was a trip

805
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 2: because when I went to the bathroom, I felt like

806
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 2: every time I went to I could I could not

807
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 2: wash enough. That's the first thing I felt like. I

808
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 2: was just like, you know, you put your hand down there,

809
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,240
Speaker 2: do a little sin check. There was no spontaneous nothing

810
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 2: going on because I was like, uh huh, I got

811
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,360
Speaker 2: to prepare for everything. I just can't. Every time I

812
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 2: went to the bathroom, it just smelled like asshole. And

813
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just sat on the toilet. I'm like,

814
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 2: do I just smell like ass everywhere? I don't know

815
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 2: what was happening. It was postparton Journey, but we had

816
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 2: Star Dawkins on the show, and lady, if you're going

817
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 2: through this, I want to share you. I want to

818
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 2: share with you. Some of the products that I used

819
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 2: were not sponsored, like we're not sponsored by them, but

820
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 2: they are black businesses, so I want to highlight them

821
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,800
Speaker 2: and go support them. Please. I literally stay off the

822
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 2: products today. So we had Star Dawkins on the show.

823
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 2: Star you got to go back and listen to our episode.

824
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 2: It was so lit. We talked about pH balance having

825
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 2: your vagina smelling good. She has Sweet Cookie wash and

826
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: one of the items that she has as well is

827
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 2: like the Sweet Cheese. It's like a booty deodor, but

828
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,400
Speaker 2: you can really use it for any part of your body.

829
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 2: I love this. I love her washes as well. Another company,

830
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 2: they have this bomb ass body oil. It's called a Morphia.

831
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 2: It's a business. I think they're based in Florida, black

832
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:20,240
Speaker 2: woman owned, and I love their Yoni wash, Yony scrub.

833
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 2: I used all of it, Okay, I used all of

834
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 2: it during my postpartum journey, and now that my vagina

835
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 2: is back to normal, thank god, I still use it

836
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 2: because it just it smells so amazing. So yeah, lady, if

837
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 2: you like Dom said, it's normal to have a scent

838
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 2: and if something is lingering or does it smell right

839
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 2: or does it look right, definitely see your doctor. Hopefully

840
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:42,839
Speaker 2: please you didn't Yeah, I hope I didn't say anything

841
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 2: that offended anyone. That was just my personal experience. I

842
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 2: just smelt I just felt like I smelled like ass

843
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven and under arms because I was

844
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 2: perspiring and it was just it was a journey. But

845
00:46:53,000 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 2: we're past it, so dom should we share this last Yeah, yes,

846
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,959
Speaker 2: this last like embarrassing moment.

847
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 3: You know, we spent a lot of time, We spent

848
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 3: this whole episode talking about things that could embarrass you

849
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 3: as an individual, like it happened to you, right, but

850
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:22,919
Speaker 3: this last one is awkward more so than embarrassing for you, right,

851
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 3: for you as the individual.

852
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 2: Like secondhand embarrassment.

853
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because this is let's talk about these situations

854
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 3: where you catch someone doing something or you see something

855
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 3: that they wouldn't want you to see, right, So let's

856
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 3: let's just be clear, let's not talk in circles. So basically,

857
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 3: let's say that you talking to a coworker and you're

858
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 3: in their office and they're like like, oh, let me

859
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 3: show you such and such, and they go to pull

860
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 3: up their computer screen and what pops up. Well, we

861
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,440
Speaker 3: know it's a range of things, right, like the people

862
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 3: be doing that work that they shouldn't be doing, right,

863
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 3: So it can range from they're on a gambling website

864
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:33,280
Speaker 3: to they're shopping or booking their next vacation, or the

865
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 3: most usually the most embarrassing one is the porn. I

866
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 3: don't understand why, in this day and age, we have

867
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 3: porn sites pulled up on our computers at work, Like,

868
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 3: I don't understand why people still do this work.

869
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 2: We know better, we know what are you're going on

870
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 2: the work computer. That is just risky. They can see everything.

871
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 3: I don't understand people still do it, apparently, And so

872
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 3: then you, as the person who's coming in and looking

873
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 3: at their computer.

874
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 2: Like, oh shit, right, yeah, I definitely get second and embarrassment.

875
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 2: I would be embarrassed. Would you do don like?

876
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: Well, I think it depends on which situation it is, right.

877
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 3: I think my imediate response would be to turn away, yes,

878
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 3: all right, and then probably just say something to the

879
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 3: effect of I'm gonna act like I saw none of that.

880
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 2: Yes, but that's your business and.

881
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 3: And I and I hope that you know now that

882
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 3: you know that I know that you're gonna stop doing

883
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 3: this because that's you know, it's inappropriate. And whatever it

884
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 3: was that we were previously talking about, We're gonna have

885
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 3: to come back to that later. I'm gonna need a

886
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:57,719
Speaker 3: moment to step out, and I'm probably gonna want to

887
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 3: give them. I'm probably want to give them a moment too, exactly. Yeah,

888
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 3: take some space.

889
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 2: I feel that.

890
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 3: But I think I'm gonna be the person to like

891
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 3: acknowledge like that's embarrassing, but I'm not gonna shame you

892
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,760
Speaker 3: for it, right, because I can imagine that the person

893
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 3: is already like gosh, yes, right, yes, I'm gonna just

894
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 3: be like you know, I'm gonna act like I an't

895
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 3: see it, and I hope that we now that you

896
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 3: know that, I know we're not gonna do this no more.

897
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 2: No I feel you, I would probably do the same.

898
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 2: I would probably just be like I would be, so

899
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 2: I get secondhand in embarrassments so easily down like I

900
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 2: would be, So I probably be more embarrassed than they are,

901
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, because I don't want that. I don't

902
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: want them to feel bad either, because it's like, Okay,

903
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 2: you did your thing, that don't have to do with me.

904
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 2: But like like you said, i'd be like, all right,

905
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: see you later, that's your business. Bye.

906
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 3: Yep.

907
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 2: I do have two situations that just can in my

908
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 2: One is I had a mentor years ago. I was

909
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 2: trying to do something like phone or I either forgot

910
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 2: my phone and it wasn't working. I couldn't use it.

911
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 2: So he gave me his phone to do something on Twitter,

912
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 2: and so I got his phone. I'm on Twitter, and

913
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,760
Speaker 2: you know how you like go to search on Twitter.

914
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 2: I was searching for something specific and on his phone

915
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 2: it said like big booty holes or said something in

916
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 2: like the Twitter search, and I saw it. And it's

917
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 2: so funny because he was like he was a mentor

918
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 2: and someone who also kind of low key seemed like asexual.

919
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 2: I didn't really see, you know, he didn't seem like

920
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 2: I mean, he was just like an actual girl.

921
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I've just done that. That was the actual

922
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 3: words that was typed.

923
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 2: It says something in there about some big booty porn something,

924
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I was so embarrassed. And

925
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 2: I didn't even obviously I didn't tell him. I didn't

926
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: say anything about it. I act like nothing that happened.

927
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 2: I don't know what's happened with my camera. I did

928
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 2: not say a word, and I just I got I

929
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 2: did what I was supposed to do, and then I

930
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 2: gave him the phone back and I was like damn.

931
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 2: And the next that I had was damn. I hope

932
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 2: he washed his hands and washed his phone because he

933
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 2: probably beats his me and uses his phone and was

934
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 2: watching whatever Twitter porn and I was just like, oh

935
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 2: my gosh, overthinking it. So that was that was one situation,

936
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 2: very embarrassing, but he didn't even know about it, so

937
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 2: he couldn't have been embarrassed. And the next one was

938
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 2: there was a friend from back in the day and

939
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 2: she had text me, but she missed to text her

940
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 2: boyfriend and so she said something some something, and I

941
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 2: remember is her texting me like, yeah, Daddy, something something something,

942
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 2: and it was just she was like, oh my gosh,

943
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry after and I just laughed. But this

944
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: was like, this was like fifteen years ago, and I

945
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 2: still that still makes me checkle which is kind of funny.

946
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 3: Listen, this is why I say, like, check your phone

947
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 3: before send if you are sending something. I mean, in general,

948
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 3: do that, right, but particularly if you were sending something

949
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: that could be inappropriate. I don't know how many stories

950
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 3: I have heard of people sending new pics of their

951
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 3: body parts to somebody in their family when they were

952
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 3: supposed to be texting their partner.

953
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 2: Like you got a double triple check. Don't do it you.

954
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: And also, ladies, don't send pictures with your what your

955
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 2: what's your face in it? That's just my pro that's

956
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 2: just my thing.

957
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 3: I love.

958
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 2: Y'ah. I hope I don't ever get hacked because when

959
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 2: I tell you the news be lit up in this

960
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 2: phone here. However, I might seeing your something like girls,

961
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 2: but don't put your face.

962
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 3: It is notable, like nothing nothing on your body that

963
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 3: would be easily identify.

964
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 2: I know someone who they were threatened with a revenge

965
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 2: porn and this person was going to like send all

966
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:06,479
Speaker 2: of their photos and stuff to their family, like start

967
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 2: mailing out card copies of the pictures. And it's just

968
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,920
Speaker 2: you get in a tricky situations. You really can't trust

969
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 2: you know a lot of people. So just be careful, lady,

970
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 2: if you're going to be sending out moods.

971
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 3: And also make sure that it's reciprocal, like if you

972
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 3: send and make sure you're receiving two mm hm. That

973
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:33,439
Speaker 3: way revenge form how because I got right, it's an

974
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 3: even exchange exactly. Lady. Listen, I hope that you had

975
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 3: a good laugh with us as we talked about some

976
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 3: of life's really embarrassing moments, and hopefully you feel a

977
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 3: sense of like relief of like, huh, yeah, I'm glad

978
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:06,280
Speaker 3: somebody's talking about this, because we all go through it. Yeah,

979
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 3: so let's stop pretending that we're the only one and

980
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 3: let's normalize it. Be polite with your gas in these streets.

981
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 3: Don't be farting on the airplane. Next when you sit

982
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 3: next to me, listen, have a spray something to help

983
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 3: us out. Help you be neighborly about how you do it. Yeah,

984
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 3: but we know that it happens. It happens, everybody does it.

985
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 2: Hey lady, it's Terry here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

986
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 2: I'm hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm going to

987
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 2: teach you how to create your impactful podcast and how

988
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,839
Speaker 2: you can generate multiple streams of income. You can visit

989
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 2: podcast with Terry dot com to register for free. I

990
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 2: hope to see you there.

991
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

992
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 3: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

993
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 3: mental health, but is by no means meant to be

994
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 3: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

995
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 3: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

996
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 3: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy

997
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:23,760
Speaker 3: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

998
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

999
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

1000
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 2: Twitter at herspace podcast or check out our website at

1001
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 2: herspace podcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

1002
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:43,320
Speaker 2: after me. I attract abundance and prosperity with ease