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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to Cheeky's and Chill. I have

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Speaker 1: some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts has

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Speaker 1: this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast they

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Speaker 1: love and highlight it for an entire month so that

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Speaker 1: more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial team

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Speaker 1: listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose Cheeky's and Chill.

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Speaker 1: It's the first iHeart podcast to be highlighted, so I'm

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Speaker 1: super excited about this. So if it's your first time

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Speaker 1: listening to the show, welcome, and I'm so happy you're here.

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Speaker 1: And if you've been with me for a while, you

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Speaker 1: know how I feel about you. Hellos Amo, Cheeks and

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Speaker 1: Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about anything and everything.

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Speaker 1: Since I have you here, I wanted to remind you

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Speaker 1: of some of my favorite episodes. We have one on

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Speaker 1: cheating and betrayal, losing my mom Jenny, and a really

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Speaker 1: important one with my fertility doctor on freezing my eggs.

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Speaker 1: And of course I've had interviews with some special guests,

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Speaker 1: so be sure to check those out too. New episodes

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Speaker 1: drop every month to you, guys, rage subscribe to Cheeky's

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Speaker 1: and Chill don't forget. Now, let's start the show. I

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Speaker 1: grew up in a household where you didn't talk about sex,

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Speaker 1: about having your period, about being gay. It was just

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Speaker 1: like no. As I got older in school is when

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Speaker 1: I learned about sex and all this stuff.

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Speaker 2: Right, here's a confession of mine that might shock you.

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Speaker 2: I actually have not had sex since twenty sixteen.

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Speaker 1: You're more sensitive, you feel it more like just other

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Speaker 1: stuff that we Wow, Oh.

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Speaker 2: My god, everybody's gonna be talking about this episode. I'm

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Speaker 2: blessing already.

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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, Welcome to a very sexy and mature episode

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Speaker 1: of Cheekys and Chill. I always tell you guys that

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Speaker 1: this podcast is somewhere I can speak about topics that

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Speaker 1: aren't talked about enough in our community. So today we're

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Speaker 1: going to be diving into something pretty taboo, sex and toys.

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Speaker 1: We have a really great guests with us, so I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to get this conversation started. This is Cheeky's

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Speaker 1: and Chill, So as promised, we have a really great

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Speaker 1: guest who I'm so excited to talk to you today.

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Speaker 1: Sitting here with me is the one and only Perez Hilton.

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Speaker 1: He's an entertainer, an entrepreneur, a father, and podcast host.

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Speaker 1: You guys, welcome, Brett. How are you?

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Speaker 2: I am well. I was listening and enjoying your episode

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Speaker 2: with Emily Estefan, and I was so excited to be

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Speaker 2: on myself. I will do everything in my power not

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Speaker 2: to take over and start asking you all the questions

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Speaker 2: which I want to do.

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Speaker 1: You can't ask me whatever you want to Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is a two way conversation, so you can ask me

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Speaker 1: whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'll let you start and then we'll go back

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Speaker 2: and forth like a good two way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, a good two way. Yeah, it's talking about sex.

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Speaker 1: That's a good way to put it. Yeah, okay. So

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Speaker 1: I want to start off the conversation. Well, we've been

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Speaker 1: following on social media. We've been following each other for

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Speaker 1: a while. I've been you comment on my stuff, I

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Speaker 1: comment on your stuff. I love your kids, by the way,

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Speaker 1: they're so freaking cute, and I love that now you're

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Speaker 1: incorporating them in the videos that you guys are doing.

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Speaker 1: It's like perfect. I don't know, I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: tell you that first, thank you, before we move on

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Speaker 1: to you know, the sex and mature part of this conversation.

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Speaker 1: I do want to talk to you about something. Tell

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Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong, But are you? Do you consider

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Speaker 1: yourself or I'm sure you've heard it before that you're

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Speaker 1: a pretty controversial person.

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Speaker 2: Me, me, me controversial. No. Actually, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to start off by saying something that has revealed

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Speaker 2: itself to me, and I think it's true, maybe not

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Speaker 2: my brain playing tricks. Is that over the last many years,

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Speaker 2: my people, my fellow Latinos, have really shown up for

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Speaker 2: me and made me feel like we're family. And I

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Speaker 2: don't get that necessarily from Anglo America. I think you

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Speaker 2: might understand this. You know, I grew up in Miami,

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Speaker 2: the son of Cuban immigrants, and I'm very different and

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Speaker 2: even controversial within my own family. However, I believe you

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Speaker 2: know that you still love your family even if you

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Speaker 2: disagree with them on politics or whatever it might be.

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Speaker 2: So there are a lot of Latinos out there who

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Speaker 2: might think, well, he's controversial, he's we local, but you know,

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Speaker 2: I still kind of like him, and I've actually always

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Speaker 2: been a little bit local, even since high school. However,

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Speaker 2: there came a point in time when I realized that

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Speaker 2: how I was doing things was wrong and not to

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Speaker 2: pat myself on the back, but there are some people

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Speaker 2: who never learned that lesson. There are some people who

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Speaker 2: will go their entire lives without growing up, without maturing.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to get political, but I

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Speaker 2: don't care. Look at Donald Trump. Donald Trump is in

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Speaker 2: his late seventies and he will still say everything he thinks,

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Speaker 2: and he got rewarded for it all the way into

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Speaker 2: the White House. I'm not saying people should censor themselves.

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Speaker 2: I believe in free speech. However, I am now acutely

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Speaker 2: aware of the power of words, and I believe that

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Speaker 2: you can express yourself in a way that's not cruel

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Speaker 2: or nasty, or mean or purposely hurtful, which is what

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Speaker 2: I used to do. I fully own it. When I

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Speaker 2: was young. Well, I'm I was still a grown man. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I can't even I'm not trying to excuse it on youth.

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Speaker 2: I was in my late twenties and I did not

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Speaker 2: care if my words were hurtful. All I cared about

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Speaker 2: was me, me, me, and the attention that I was

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Speaker 2: getting and the views and the that. And I look

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Speaker 2: back at that period of time now with deep shame, remorse, regret,

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Speaker 2: and gratitude that I'm not that person anymore. But I

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Speaker 2: also know that maybe even the majority of your audience

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Speaker 2: still sees me as that old person. It's like that expression,

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Speaker 2: a first impression is a lasting impression, and hopefully your

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Speaker 2: followers can see me as a cautionary tale. Things that

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Speaker 2: you say today on social media could stay with you

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Speaker 2: for the rest of your life. Because the Internet is forever,

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Speaker 2: people will always be pulling up receipts from my past.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't matter that it was fifteen years ago or

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Speaker 2: thirteen years ago.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what, But I respect that. I respect

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Speaker 1: the fact that you can say, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: regret it, I apologize, and we can't live in the past.

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Speaker 1: We could just say, you know what, that's not who

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Speaker 1: I am today and that does not define who I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be tomorrow. So I think that's great. But

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Speaker 1: do you think it has to do like your change?

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Speaker 1: Does it have to do with your children having children,

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Speaker 1: or it was just something that you I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It started before children. I noticed a change within me

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Speaker 2: when I began my journey to be a healthier person.

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Speaker 2: If people remember Perez Hilton from two thousand and seven,

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Speaker 2: I was so unhealthy, and that's how I like to

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Speaker 2: talk about it. I don't like to say fat. I

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Speaker 2: was fat, but it's more than just wait. It's more

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Speaker 2: than just wait. I was unhealthy and it was bringing

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Speaker 2: me down. And when I began on this journey to

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Speaker 2: being a healthier person, I became a happier person. And

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Speaker 2: I noticed that my thoughts changed. I was thinking clearer

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Speaker 2: and differently, but I was afraid to make a change.

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Speaker 2: I was paralyzed by fear because at that point I

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Speaker 2: had been Perez for a long time and things were

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Speaker 2: working well for me. But eventually there came a point

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Speaker 2: when the universe smacked me upside the head specifically. You know,

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Speaker 2: it was a long time ago now, in the fall

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Speaker 2: of twenty ten, there was this rash of gay teenagers

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Speaker 2: that were dying by suicide, and this journalist named Dan

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Speaker 2: Savage created this campaign called It Gets Better. It was

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Speaker 2: very simple. It was encouraging older people to make videos

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Speaker 2: directly speaking to younger people. And I found out about

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Speaker 2: it the very same day he launched this campaign. I

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Speaker 2: made it Gets Better video and the response that I

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Speaker 2: got it changed me forever, because I thought, wow, in

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Speaker 2: this moment of darkness, I'm doing something to spread light.

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Speaker 2: But people did not see it that way. They said,

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Speaker 2: how dare you? How dare you make and it gets

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Speaker 2: better video. You're a hypocrite, you're a bully. You're a

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Speaker 2: part of the problem. And it was at that moment

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Speaker 2: that I said, Okay, I have to make a change,

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Speaker 2: and I have to stop all of the bs lies

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Speaker 2: that I was telling myself, things like, oh, it's just

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Speaker 2: a character. If people don't like what I'm saying, it

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Speaker 2: doesn't matter because it's not the real me. But no,

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Speaker 2: it was the real me. I was just beating my

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Speaker 2: brain these lies. And you know, I was saying that

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Speaker 2: is like, well, if people don't like it, they should

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Speaker 2: just ignore me. But it's not as simple as that,

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Speaker 2: Like you might be a perfect person to talk on this,

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Speaker 2: you know, like you might ignore people talking smack about you,

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Speaker 2: but then a friend might innocently say, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I can't believe that person said that about you, or

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Speaker 2: they might bring it to your attention thinking they're doing

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Speaker 2: you a favor. So I decided to make a change.

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Speaker 2: And it's not like I've reinvented the wheel. I just

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Speaker 2: put new rims on it.

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Speaker 1: I like that, Well, thank you. Thank you for sharing

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Speaker 1: that with us, for being honest and transparent. Now that

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Speaker 1: we've gotten that out of the way, we can talk

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Speaker 1: about you know what we're here to talk about, Okay,

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Speaker 1: because I thought you were the perfect person I like

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Speaker 1: to talk about sex. I'm that friend that I'm always

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Speaker 1: asking people questions, especially my gay friends, and you're a

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Speaker 1: gay mel and you're open about it. So I want

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Speaker 1: to have him on and I know he'll be fun

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Speaker 1: and I know he'll be honest because I have a

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Speaker 1: lot of questions.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, let me ask you some questions before you

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Speaker 2: start asking your questions. So I'm curious. You know, it's

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Speaker 2: been many years years now since you started doing work

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Speaker 2: in television and you first came out on the scene

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Speaker 2: with reality TV. Do you think if you had not

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Speaker 2: done reality television that the Spanish language media, which can

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Speaker 2: be very vicious, do you think that they would have

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Speaker 2: covered you differently.

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Speaker 1: That's a very freaking good question, I think so, I

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Speaker 1: do think.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 1: I don't regret doing the reality That was like my

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Speaker 1: first step into my own career. Yeah, but because I

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Speaker 1: exposed so much of my personal life whenever I wanted

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Speaker 1: to keep some to myself. It was just why why now?

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Speaker 1: And you know, it's still kind of like that. I

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Speaker 1: did ten years of reality TV and I don't regret it.

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Speaker 1: But times were obviously different. It was the thing back then,

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Speaker 1: but they have been a little bit more harsh, I guess,

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Speaker 1: a little bit harder on me. And I think it

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Speaker 1: might have to do with that. For sure. I've thought

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Speaker 1: about it, which is why now, even if they offer me,

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, I think about it a lot before.

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Speaker 1: I would bring my siblings and I to do something

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Speaker 1: like that again. Okay, well now my questions right. So,

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Speaker 1: as you know, in our Latin culture, and this is

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Speaker 1: why I wanted a podcast, I can talk about anything

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Speaker 1: and everything. I grew up in a household where you

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Speaker 1: didn't talk about sex, about having your period, about being gay.

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Speaker 1: It was just like no, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: My family was very traditional, very religious. Same yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: So I just started like as I got older in

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Speaker 1: school is when I learned about sex and all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: It was my friends and what they were talking about.

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Speaker 1: And it's not until like I was in I don't know,

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Speaker 1: my or late twenties, I would say that I was

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Speaker 1: introduced to a vibrator and I love them. I had

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Speaker 1: a boyfriend that was not okay with me having a vibrator,

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Speaker 1: and it was like, no, that's my competition sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: Now that I'm thirty seven and I want to try

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Speaker 1: to and things, I have a man younger than me,

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Speaker 1: seven years younger, and he's totally fine with it. He's like,

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Speaker 1: let's bring it in, like, let's have fun, you know.

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Speaker 1: And it's been amazing, you know, And I can't really

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Speaker 1: talk to well, some of my friends. I'm that friend

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Speaker 1: that would tell you, here, here's a vibrator for Christmas

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Speaker 1: or your birthday. Sit on this instead of strength piness.

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Speaker 1: I'm that friend. I'm like, have safe sex. But my

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Speaker 1: grandma was like I would tell her. I'm like, Grandma,

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Speaker 1: you haven't had sex for so long. This is years ago.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you haven't had text for so long. And

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Speaker 1: she's like, sash locablo, you're not supposed to masturbate. And

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, what isn't that safer than just like

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Speaker 1: having sex with like randoms.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, and it's it's quicker too, yeah, exactly. I don't

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Speaker 2: know about straight people, but most gay men they use

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Speaker 2: the apps to hook up. And I just don't have

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Speaker 2: the time or the desire for that. Like, I would

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Speaker 2: just rather take care of business myself, and I'm done

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Speaker 2: much quicker than it would take me to like try

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Speaker 2: to find somebody and meet up with them and all

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Speaker 2: of that. But I'm curious, though. I love that you

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Speaker 2: love your toys. Yes, I would guess that straight men

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Speaker 2: would not really be into toys for themselves. But here's

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Speaker 2: my question. I'm all but certain that straight men, a

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Speaker 2: lot of them, if not most, love porn. So are

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Speaker 2: you okay with your younger boyfriend watching a lot of

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Speaker 2: porn and masturbating without you.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be real with you right now. Before the

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Speaker 1: younger me was like, no, I was jealous, I was immature.

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Speaker 1: It was just like ridiculous. But now I wouldn't mind

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Speaker 1: because I feel like it would give me a little

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Speaker 1: bit of a breakout that I don't want to have

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Speaker 1: sex with him. Obviously do, but sometimes I'm just busy

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Speaker 1: and it's just like it's another kind of chore, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. So now I'm like, I asked him,

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Speaker 1: do you watch porn? He says no, that he doesn't

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Speaker 1: even like to jack off or anything like. That's not

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Speaker 1: his thing. Now, I'd be fine with it. I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, just do your thing, you know, like

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Speaker 1: him and I we haven't gotten to that point. We've

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Speaker 1: been dating for a year and a half, like watching

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Speaker 1: porn together, but I want to and with my mom.

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Speaker 1: My mom was very very open. You know, we'd be

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Speaker 1: leaving the house on a date or with some friends.

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Speaker 1: She's like, okay, well make sure you cover it, make

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Speaker 1: sure you were a condom or like. She was very

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Speaker 1: like that a little later, you know, because in the

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Speaker 1: beginning she didn't really teach me much about sex or

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Speaker 1: anything like that. And so she got older and then

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Speaker 1: she met this guy that was like the love of

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Speaker 1: her life, her soulmate, and she just said that she

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Speaker 1: became a woman. At like thirty something years old, she

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Speaker 1: had her first orgasm. So we started talking about it.

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Speaker 1: I was older, you know what I mean. So we

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Speaker 1: had these conversations.

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Speaker 2: So your mom told you with telling you about her first.

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Speaker 1: Orgasm, Oh she did. She told us all.

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Speaker 2: Have you because you're so well known, Like, well, first

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Speaker 2: of all, is your boy is your current boyfriend Latino

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Speaker 2: or not?

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Speaker 1: He is? He's half Mexican and half Filipino.

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Speaker 2: Have you found like over the last decade or so

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Speaker 2: that you have have to be very cautious about dating

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Speaker 2: because guys are just trying to use you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, in the beginning, when I start dating someone, I'm

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Speaker 1: still a little bit hesitant, a little worried, you know.

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Speaker 1: But I think with Emidia, my current boyfriend, he's just

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Speaker 1: very like transparent and just very like you could tell

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Speaker 1: right away he's so different. But I have had guys

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Speaker 1: that have used me and have even called the paparazzi

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Speaker 1: on us, and that just sucks. Yeah, It's like you

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Speaker 1: think that they're there for the right reasons and then

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Speaker 1: you just realize. And I was dumb to just ignore

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Speaker 1: it for a while, but I learned my fucking lesson.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you I learned it.

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Speaker 2: So you've been dating a year and a half, I

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Speaker 2: would say the honeymoon phase is over, but you're still

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Speaker 2: excited about him. And at this point in your relationship.

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Speaker 2: How often are you having sex? You know what, you

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Speaker 2: live together?

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Speaker 1: We do live together now, okay, we do live together

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Speaker 1: and we have sex. It all just depends at least

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Speaker 1: three times a week.

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Speaker 2: Three times a week. That's a good amount of time,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: I have our little like thing, you know, our night schedule,

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Speaker 1: and it just happens, and he knows when I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to get free, scale put something sexy on and I

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Speaker 1: just like pretend to like I'm in my little like

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Speaker 1: baggy pjs, and then I pull him off and there's

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Speaker 1: something nice down there, you know. So he's young. I

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Speaker 1: gotta freaking keep up.

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Speaker 2: Here's a confession of mine that might shock you. I

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Speaker 2: actually have not had sex since twenty sixteen. I have

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Speaker 2: not gotten naked with anybody.

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Speaker 1: Pres No way, way, okay, And why.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'll explain why. So my son was my first

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Speaker 2: child to be born. He was born in twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 2: and after he was born, I decided that I wanted

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Speaker 2: to go to New York City for a while because

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Speaker 2: I love New York and I went to college there,

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Speaker 2: and I said to myself, this is my last opportunity

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Speaker 2: to enjoy New York because after this I have to

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Speaker 2: really settle down. So I went and we were there

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Speaker 2: for two and a half years, and I went through

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Speaker 2: a huge slut phase using all of those apps, and

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Speaker 2: I got it out of my system. And it was

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Speaker 2: really easy to meet guys in New York because you

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Speaker 2: don't need a car, you can take the subway, and

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Speaker 2: you can be very spontaneous and very quick. Then I

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Speaker 2: moved back to LA and it was really hard to

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Speaker 2: even date, like using the same websites and the same apps.

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Speaker 2: It was just very challenging. And then I realized I

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Speaker 2: don't need to I mean, I'm open to it. I

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Speaker 2: would like too, I'm not against it. I enjoy sex,

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Speaker 2: but something changed where I didn't want to chase it

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Speaker 2: that much. And I love sex, but I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be easy.

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Speaker 1: I feel, you, well, things have changed so much, you know,

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Speaker 1: and then you your personality, yourself, you're a celebrity like,

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Speaker 1: and you just feel like, are these people, these men

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Speaker 1: coming into my life because they you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: you just I.

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Speaker 2: Don't think about that. I think the opposite. Actually, I

347
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 2: think anybody who messages me it wants to embarrass me.

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Speaker 2: So that's another reason why I kind of stopped doing that.

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Speaker 2: I thought, oh, they're just chatting with me to try to,

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Speaker 2: you know, lead me on so that they can screen

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Speaker 2: grab our conversation and then leak it. And that's another

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Speaker 2: reason why I'd rather just be more old school and

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Speaker 2: meet somebody at the gym at my kid's school out

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Speaker 2: at a concert, sitting next to them on a plane,

355
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Speaker 2: you know, like people still do meet other people that way.

356
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Speaker 2: How did you meet your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: At a party? At a I was having a birthday

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Speaker 1: party for a friend of mine, for Becky g. Actually

359
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Speaker 1: they're like cousins, they grew up together. Oh and she

360
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Speaker 1: was one of the guests, and I had seen them before.

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Speaker 1: We did a photo shoot together, but we had like

362
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,040
Speaker 1: never exchanged numbers or anything, and that day we were

363
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Speaker 1: just drinking, having good time. And I'm glad I met

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Speaker 1: him that way and not through someone that was sliding

365
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Speaker 1: through my dms, you know what I mean. I'm more

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Speaker 1: traditional in that way as well. I tried the dating

367
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Speaker 1: apps that should like scared the hell out of me,

368
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Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what, It's just not for me,

369
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Speaker 1: and these blind dates. I'd rather just like you said,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, at a library. Are there any libraries anyway? Anyways,

371
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Speaker 1: I'm saying a library because I would like a guy

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Speaker 1: that reads, you know, he reads, by the way. But

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Speaker 1: I get it, I get exactly what you're saying, Like

374
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Speaker 1: the whole screen. You got to be so careful with

375
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Speaker 1: everything that you do now because they will just take

376
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Speaker 1: a quick screenshot and try to screw you over so on.

377
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Speaker 2: The same token. Like I don't even care if they do,

378
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Speaker 2: Like I kind of just I expect that. So I'm

379
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: prepared for the worst and it's not even that bad.

380
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Speaker 2: I've been doing what I do now for eighteen years.

381
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Speaker 2: I would rather be embarrassed publicly than ignored. Like I'd

382
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:45,360
Speaker 2: rather have that humiliating attention than no attention. I keep

383
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Speaker 2: it real, honest.

384
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Speaker 1: That's what I love about you. You're honest. Have you

385
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 1: slept with women before?

386
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 2: No, never, You've never. I've never had any interest, no desire.

387
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 2: Oh my god, everybody's going to be talking about this episode.

388
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 2: I'm blushing already. Geez, Louis, Oh my god. So you

389
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Speaker 2: have siblings. Do you talk about these things with your siblings?

390
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, we my siblings and I are very

391
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 1: very close, like really close, like sometimes too close. I mean,

392
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Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever shared this before, but

393
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 1: we're just very open. My mom was that way with us,

394
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Speaker 1: and so I'm like that with them as well. My brother,

395
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Speaker 1: who's thirty one years old, he hasn't done it a

396
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: long time, but when we lived together way back like,

397
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Speaker 1: I don't know. I must have been in my early twenties.

398
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 1: I'd be taking a shower and he'd walk in. He's like, sister,

399
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm literally naked showering. I'm like, what's up.

400
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 1: He'd be like, I don't know this bitch, like he

401
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 1: was telling me just whatever it may be. We're very open.

402
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,360
Speaker 1: We were just on a trip. I took them out

403
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 1: for my brother's birthday and we were talking about He's like, oh,

404
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, did you get any birthday sex? He's like, oh, yeah,

405
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 1: she gave it to me real good and she just

406
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,880
Speaker 1: you know, she sucked it really nice. I'm like, that's

407
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,199
Speaker 1: awsome brother at the breakfast table. So we are are

408
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 1: you very very open?

409
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Speaker 2: I don't have that. I think you know, well, you're

410
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 2: probably closer and a well, no, you're around the same.

411
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 2: My sister is six and a half years younger, so

412
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Speaker 2: we never had that kind of relationship.

413
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Speaker 1: Do you feel like with your children you want to

414
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 1: do you talk to them or at because they're fairly young,

415
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 1: but do you talk to them about their parts and

416
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Speaker 1: like penis and vagina like.

417
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, using clinical words yeah, and saying things like

418
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 2: you know, nobody can touch you, only the doctor when

419
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,400
Speaker 2: the doctor asks for permission, and not even anybody. Your

420
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 2: siblings especially, nobody can And we have those kinds of discussions.

421
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 2: But my oldest is only nine years old, and I

422
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 2: think it's a little young to have more. But I

423
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: you know, I'm a single, gay dad and I had

424
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 2: my children through surrogacy. So I've talked about that process

425
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,719
Speaker 2: with them and how they came to be. And I

426
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 2: believe in being honest, which my mother doesn't always agree

427
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 2: with everything I do. She's like, you don't need to

428
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: be honest with children, their children, So yeah, I believe

429
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 2: in being honest and age appropriate as well, right, because

430
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 2: they're only going to understand so much. And like, I

431
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 2: like that my kids are a little bit sheltered, Like

432
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 2: I want my kids to remain kids. Like my kids

433
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: don't have cell phones. Like there's some nine year olds

434
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 2: that have cell phones. And if that's your family and

435
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: your and I understand it. You know, some people might

436
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 2: have a kid that has to go between a mom's

437
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: house and a dad's house, and a phone is an

438
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 2: important tool that the kid needs. My kids don't need

439
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 2: phones for me, and they're not They don't have it.

440
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 2: But I will be honest and educating my children. But

441
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 2: when they're in their twenties, I don't need them to

442
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 2: be telling me about if they orgasms or not.

443
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: I don't. I know you're like.

444
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: But but if they talk about it with each other,

445
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 2: that's great. I want them to talk about it with

446
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 2: each other. They don't need to talk about it with

447
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 2: me though.

448
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 1: With you, Okay, I feel you, I feel you, But

449
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: I and I totally, I totally get that. I was

450
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: watching I think the View the other day and they

451
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 1: were talking about, you know, I don't remember who she was,

452
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: but she was talking about you know, I speak to

453
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: my children about their penis and their vagina and that,

454
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 1: like when you said, no one should touch you there.

455
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: And I think those conversations early on, yes, for me,

456
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 1: are very important because of what happened to me. I

457
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: was actually was by my dad and my mom. She

458
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: was young when she had me. She was fifteen, so

459
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: she was a kid raising a kid, you know. But

460
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 1: now when she got older she did tell me, she's like,

461
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: I wish I would have talked to you about that

462
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: because it would have prevented so many things. You know,

463
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: it happens too often and I think if they're aware

464
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,920
Speaker 1: of their body parts and their privacy, I think that

465
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: that is something important.

466
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: Going back to something you said earlier, you know, like

467
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 2: you I had, well, I was much younger when my

468
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 2: dad passed away. It was the summer between freshman and

469
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 2: sophomore year of high school. And not only did my

470
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 2: Latino Cuban family not talk about this or talk about that,

471
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 2: but they also didn't believe in therapy. Oh that's for

472
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: our getting goals. We don't do They don't go to therapy.

473
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 2: We didn't do therapy. But I wish that I was

474
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 2: in therapy back then. I'm in therapy now and I

475
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 2: find it so helpful. So I was going to ask,

476
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 2: you know, you've been through so much in your life,

477
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: and just from speaking to you now, you seem very

478
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 2: adjusted and happy. And I don't know, but maybe like

479
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 2: healed or it's a healing is a constant work in progress.

480
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 2: But how did you get to that point of where

481
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 2: you are at now of healing yourself?

482
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,719
Speaker 1: For sure? Therapy. I've been in therapy since I was twelve.

483
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 1: The doctor that examined me when all this came out

484
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: to light, he suggested, and again my family was very like, well,

485
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: what's therapy. All you need is God. All you need

486
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 1: to do is pray, And yes, you do need that.

487
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 1: I feel like you need to have your relationship your faith.

488
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: But therapy has helped me so much, you know, and

489
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: like you said, it is a taboo and it's something

490
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: that I talk about on my podcast and I share

491
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: and I'm a huge advocate for it because it's helped

492
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: me and my faith and having such a strong mother

493
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: that no matter what happened, she never allowed me to

494
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: feel sorry for myself. This happened, you got to pick

495
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: up and then, you know, dust yourself off and keep walking.

496
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 1: And I always say that because I have that in

497
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: the back of my mind of we got to keep going,

498
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: we got to be strong. It's been that. It's been

499
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: that and knowing the responsibility that I have, having the

500
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 1: platform that God has given me to share and to

501
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 1: spread light and to be an example of Yes, I've

502
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: been through this, but that does not define who I

503
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: am today. I mean, I'm still in therapy. I do

504
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: it every week because it just helps me. I need

505
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 1: the mentorship.

506
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 2: I love it. I mean, I have so much empathy

507
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 2: and compassion because when you have trauma that happens, like

508
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 2: what you experienced, or even with me losing a parent

509
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 2: at a very young age. You can respond one of

510
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 2: two ways. You can respond how you did and how

511
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 2: I did, or you can respond by choosing a path

512
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: of destruction, you know, whether that be us or alcohol

513
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: or extreme fro muscuity. But what's fascinating is I didn't

514
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 2: really get into therapy until in my forties.

515
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: And it wasn't.

516
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't until the last couple of years that

517
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 2: I realized, Wow, I've been carrying all this baggage from

518
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: when I was a teenager that I never really addressed

519
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: because I didn't have the tools or the mental and

520
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 2: emotional maturity to process all of these things, like my

521
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 2: dad dying and my grandfather died the same week. That

522
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 2: was pretty earth shattering. Yeah, and my grandfather lived with

523
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,360
Speaker 2: us as well. My mom's dad and then her husband

524
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 2: both died seven days apart, and my dad was unexpected.

525
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:54,479
Speaker 2: He had an aneurysm. And yeah, it's interesting because you

526
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: had a really close and special relationship with your mother

527
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,040
Speaker 2: because you were close in age, and I have a

528
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 2: very close and special relationship with my mother as well,

529
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 2: because in a way, I had to become at an

530
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: early age the parent, and I had to start financially

531
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 2: supporting my mother, and she lives with me. I love her,

532
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 2: and I say this with love. In many ways, my

533
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 2: mother is an inspiration for me in how I don't

534
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 2: want a parent, so I try to correct how I

535
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: was brought up and make sure that I'm doing things

536
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 2: differently for my kids, for example. And you probably could

537
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 2: relate to this too, you know, I don't. I do

538
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 2: have also compassion and grace and understanding from my mom,

539
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 2: knowing that she did her best. She did her best

540
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 2: given her upbringing and what she knew. But I always

541
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: struggled with my weight from youth to adulthood as well.

542
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 2: And I remember there was a period where my mom

543
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 2: decided we're going to be healthy. So her of being

544
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 2: healthy was having us eat iceberg lettuce with tomatoes, and

545
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: the salad dressing was mayonnaise. Iceberg lettuce with tomatoes and mayonnaise.

546
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 2: But then, oh my goodness, there's some things that when

547
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 2: I was younger, I used to fight my mom on. Actually,

548
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 2: I'll ask you this, this is the best thing that

549
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 2: my mother told me growing up, which I never believed.

550
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: And maybe you might think this is cynical, but I

551
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: never really believed or got or understood until recently because

552
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 2: for me, I always was a big proponent of friendship

553
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 2: and I love having friends. I love friendship. But my

554
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: mom said friends will come and friends will go, but

555
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 2: the most important thing in life is family. And I'm like, Mom,

556
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 2: that's so cynical. You can have friends that are like family,

557
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: and she's like, Nope, it's not true. No family is

558
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: family and friends are friends. And and I do believe

559
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 2: that now mm hmmm.

560
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: It's probably like that. You know, blood is thicker than water.

561
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,479
Speaker 1: And for me, I feel like I consider my family

562
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: my siblings. To me, it's it's us. And I feel

563
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,479
Speaker 1: that there are certain friends like you can make your

564
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: own family, like people that you meet or you know

565
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: what I mean. And for me, that's that's my family.

566
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: For a long time, I had and I had an

567
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: episode on this called toxic loyalty that in our culture,

568
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: we're we're like, butri's ma, man, but that's your dad,

569
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: But that's your cousin. It doesn't matter. That's your family.

570
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: But I'm like, but wrong is wrong If they're not

571
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: making me feel good and they're making me more sad

572
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: than happy, then I'd rather And I learned this through

573
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: through therapy, where it's just it's okay to love people

574
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: from afar. It takes a long time to understand that

575
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: because I was taught in a way toxic loyalty my

576
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: whole life. And now I'm like, okay, I want it

577
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: to be every relationship it doesn't matter who it is,

578
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: for it to be reciprocated, for me to give and

579
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: they give as much as I do sort of thing.

580
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: It took me a long time.

581
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 2: But that's not realistic.

582
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: What what is not realistic?

583
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 2: Like even even my sister, for example, I hope she

584
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: doesn't listen, Oh my god. With my sister, I feel

585
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: like I'm always the one taking the initiative, like, hey,

586
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: let's do this with the kids, or let's do this,

587
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 2: or let's do that. And it would be nice if

588
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 2: she's the one saying, hey, you want to come over

589
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 2: or whatever, But it's okay if it's not fifty fifty.

590
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 2: She's my sister, and I'm still going to continue to

591
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: be the one making the bigger effort. And I'm the

592
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 2: older sibling.

593
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, as older siblings, it's just going to

594
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: always have to be that way to be honest. It's

595
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: like I've learned that I'm like and I'm okay with it.

596
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: As long as you motherfuckers call me back and text

597
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: me back, I'm good. Anyways. Thank you, thank you for

598
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: sharing everything, for being so open for your questions to me.

599
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: I loved having you on the podcast. I hope this

600
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: is not the first and the last time. Do you

601
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: want to share your social so people follow you? A

602
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: lot of people do, but still.

603
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 2: Well, the number one thing I'll say is people who

604
00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 2: listen and enjoy podcasts usually check out and enjoy more

605
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 2: than one. So check out mine the Perez Hilton podcast

606
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 2: with Chris Booker. You can hear it at perezpodcast dot com.

607
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 2: That's Perez podcast dot com. And that's it. I'm everywhere,

608
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: and I'm just so grateful to have had this time

609
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 2: together with you and that I'm still here. It's like,

610
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 2: it's crazy that I started life as Perez in two

611
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: thousand and four, really before there was social media, Like

612
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 2: I was an influencer before that word even existed. And

613
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: while I'm not an it girl anymore, I'm still here

614
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 2: and I am an icon and icons are forever.

615
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that absolutely well. Thank you guys so much.

616
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: And as you guys know, I always share my motivational

617
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 1: quote right before we end. Here's the quote for you guys.

618
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 1: When things change inside you, things change around you. I'll

619
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: tell you I'm living proof of that. So I hope

620
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 1: you guys enjoyed this conversation with Perez Hilton Teke. Thank

621
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: you for being on LOS and I will catch you

622
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:18,719
Speaker 1: on the next episode of Cheeky's and chib. Do you

623
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: need advice on love, relationships, health emails? I'm so excited

624
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: to share with you that my Cheeky's and Chill podcast

625
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 1: will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be

626
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message

627
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: personal Menday. All you have to do is go to

628
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts and

629
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: record your questions. I can't wait to hear from you.

630
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micudura podcast Network.

631
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me

632
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: Cheeky's That's c h I q U i s. For

633
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts

634
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts,