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Speaker 1: All right here it is. It's that time, Shirley Strawberry

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Speaker 1: when our Strawberry subject four years later, I'm still his girlfriend. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Juniors on one today, Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm stuck. I've

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Speaker 1: read your book, Steve, and I've been with my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: for four years. In the four years, we've bought a

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Speaker 1: home and had lots of beautiful vacations together. We're under

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Speaker 1: thirty years old, and we have a solid relationship. He provides,

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Speaker 1: protects and professes his love for me. So why after

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Speaker 1: four years I still don't have an engagement ring. I

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Speaker 1: haven't given him my all yet because there are certain

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Speaker 1: benefits that only a wife can give to her husband.

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Speaker 1: He's not my husband. I never feel bad for reminding

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Speaker 1: him when he complains about me holding back. When I

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Speaker 1: drop hints about us moving to the next step in

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Speaker 1: our relationship, he says that I'm going to have to

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Speaker 1: be patient, and usuring him is not good. I was

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Speaker 1: furious this summer when he went out and bought a

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Speaker 1: jet ski for over two thousand dollars. That was money

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Speaker 1: he could have used on my diamond ring. I get

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Speaker 1: with my girlfriends and they make me feel even worse

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Speaker 1: and put even more pressure on me for not having

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Speaker 1: a ring yet. Our wedding colors are picked out, we

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Speaker 1: have a church and reception place in mind. We have

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Speaker 1: talked about who we'd want in our bridal party, and

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Speaker 1: we'd picked out a beautiful honeymoon location. Am I overthinking

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Speaker 1: this and stressing myself for no reason? Should I just

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Speaker 1: give it time and or leave him now and stop

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Speaker 1: putting my life on hold? He should know by now

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Speaker 1: what he wants. Please help me? Well, I mean apparently

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Speaker 1: he doesn't know right now, or he's not ready right now,

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Speaker 1: or if he was ready right now, he would have

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Speaker 1: done it. I mean, you guys live together. You've made

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Speaker 1: purchases together, major purchases like a house. That's what married

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Speaker 1: people do. You guys go on vacation together. You all

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Speaker 1: may as well be married. I mean, you do all

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Speaker 1: the things that that that married people do, um without

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Speaker 1: the benefits meaning the ring and the mrs and all

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Speaker 1: of that that you desperately want. What I'm saying is,

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Speaker 1: why are you doing all this and you're not his wife? Why?

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Speaker 1: I mean, where is his incentive to marry you right now?

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Speaker 1: He's still young. You guys are both still under thirty

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Speaker 1: years old. You're saying, you say you have a solid relationship,

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Speaker 1: but you're not getting what you want. You say, he provides,

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Speaker 1: he professes and protects, like Steve says in the book.

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Speaker 1: But you guys have bought a home together, So you're

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Speaker 1: feeling like the next step is marriage. You're already like

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Speaker 1: a wife to him. Um, you're gonna have to pull

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Speaker 1: up a little bit um or maybe, in his case,

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Speaker 1: put out a little bit. I don't know. You're saying

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Speaker 1: you're holding back. You didn't. You weren't specific. But by

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Speaker 1: holding back, do you mean you're not having sex with him?

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Speaker 1: But you guys have bought a house together. Ain't nobody

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Speaker 1: bought you This is not making sense to me. I

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Speaker 1: was just gonna say that, Steve, this is not making

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Speaker 1: sense to me. He's definitely not ready. You guys are young,

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Speaker 1: under thirty. He still has some more fun to have

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Speaker 1: with his over two thousand dollars jet Ski. You know

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Speaker 1: he wants to play on that some more. You didn't

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Speaker 1: say it, but the holding back part that that is

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Speaker 1: a big puzzle in here. You've left a lot out.

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Speaker 1: So if you're ready now and he's not, you guys,

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Speaker 1: you are stuck because you bought a major purchase with him,

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Speaker 1: so you know, to get him to marry you, it

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Speaker 1: is going to be a struggle now. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: take your equity out and move on. You know, that's

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Speaker 1: one option that you have. But I don't think you

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Speaker 1: want to do that. I think you want what you want,

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Speaker 1: but the timing is just not right. Steve. If you've

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Speaker 1: been with a man for four years and you live

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Speaker 1: with him, and you alden bought a house, there's a

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Speaker 1: thing called common law marriage, so you're entitled to everything

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Speaker 1: that a wife is a title to. At this point,

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Speaker 1: now you're asking this letter. In four years, we bought

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Speaker 1: a home, had lots of beautiful vacations together. We're under

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Speaker 1: thirty years old. I got a solidary lady. He provides,

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Speaker 1: protects and professes his love with me. So why after

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Speaker 1: four years do I still not have a an engagement ring.

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Speaker 1: You're missing. He hasn't professed it fully. He protects for you,

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Speaker 1: he provides for you. But the professing part is you

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Speaker 1: thought in the book I said he that that means

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Speaker 1: that a man says he loves you. No, I explain

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Speaker 1: to you how we lay claim to women, How we

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Speaker 1: claim you all as hours, not in terms of property.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just saying how we make you mine. We

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Speaker 1: make you my hours with titles. Now you don't have

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Speaker 1: the title you want. Now you want to know, if

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Speaker 1: you want to know, if you're overthinking this. No, you're

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Speaker 1: over thinking this. But you all, ladies, you keep making

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Speaker 1: the same mistake over and over and over. See, y'all

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Speaker 1: keep doing married duties without having the man purchase them

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Speaker 1: or pay for them. You're doing all the wifely duties,

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Speaker 1: but he ain't got to do nothing to get them.

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Speaker 1: All he got to do is move in with you,

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Speaker 1: sleep with you. It's gotta be more to that. See,

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Speaker 1: here's why you all keep stuck. Why after four years

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Speaker 1: don't I have engagement ring. I haven't given him my

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Speaker 1: all yet because there are certain benefits that only a

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Speaker 1: wife can give to a husband. He's not my husband.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know why you put that in there.

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Speaker 1: You all in, y'all sleeping together. All right, when we

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Speaker 1: come back, I'm gonna tell you what's wrong here. I

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Speaker 1: have the answer for you. Subject for years later, I'm

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Speaker 1: still his girlfriend. Let's get part two of your response.

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Speaker 1: All right, four years later, this girl is mad because

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Speaker 1: she's still a dude's boyfriend. They've been together four years.

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Speaker 1: They don't bought a house together. Excuse me, girlfriend bought

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Speaker 1: a house together. Beautiful vacations day under thirty, She says,

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Speaker 1: He provides protecting, professes his love for me. When a

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Speaker 1: man professes his love with you is not just I

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Speaker 1: love you. It comes with titles. It's like promotions. So

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Speaker 1: why after four years don't I still have an engagement ring?

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Speaker 1: Because you haven't required one yet. You have not required

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Speaker 1: an engagement for these actions to occur. Now, see the

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Speaker 1: mistake Like I told you that y'all keep doing, is

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Speaker 1: y'all keep doing all these married duties without him having

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Speaker 1: to purchase the married duties. Now, whatever it is you're

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Speaker 1: talking about you holding back in this letter, it obviously

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Speaker 1: it ain't enough to make him marry you. So whatever

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Speaker 1: you're holding back, he good. Just all I bring that up.

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Speaker 1: You're already giving plenty. So why don't I have an

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Speaker 1: engagement ring yet? You're ready because he has everything he

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Speaker 1: wants all ready. He don't need to give you a ring.

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Speaker 1: Can we be okay with that? I mean this is

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Speaker 1: an open and shut case to me. Now, your problem

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Speaker 1: is when I drop hints about moving to the next

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Speaker 1: step in our relationship, he says that I'm gonna have

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Speaker 1: to be patient and pressuring him is not good. It's

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Speaker 1: not good for him, so don't pressure him. See, ladies,

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Speaker 1: you can get a lot more what you want by

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Speaker 1: just pressuring yourself. You don't have to pressure man. If

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Speaker 1: a man ain't good with it, just say hey, look,

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Speaker 1: let me step to the side until you decide what

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Speaker 1: you really want to do. Because I'm not playing house

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Speaker 1: with you anymore. So now I ain't pressuring you. You

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Speaker 1: can you can stay here in this house I'm gonna need.

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Speaker 1: I'm not paying no more money on this thing. I'm

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Speaker 1: and I won't, and I want to sell it because

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Speaker 1: I want my half back out. And you're not sleeping

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Speaker 1: with me no more in that bed right there, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not cooking no more food. It ain't no problem.

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Speaker 1: I'm not pressuring you. You don't have to ask me

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Speaker 1: to marry you. But I'm gonna stop sitting up in

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Speaker 1: here acting like we're married and then you never give

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Speaker 1: me what I want. I'm going to my mama's house.

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Speaker 1: Call me when you want to go to the next level.

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Speaker 1: Now that most women are not gonna do because they're

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Speaker 1: afraid of losing the man. But you ain't. You don't

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Speaker 1: have the one. You won't right now. And it's so

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Speaker 1: terrible because they have this major purchase together. They have

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Speaker 1: a house together. Yeah, right, but you can get out

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Speaker 1: of that. No, that's yours. I'm telling you the woman

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Speaker 1: gonna win and that you ain't cheated on the dude.

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Speaker 1: Nothing like that. Oh he gonna lose. He gotta get

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Speaker 1: the house up. Now that's your house, and he'll be

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Speaker 1: paying for oh my god, preachings. The yeah he got

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Speaker 1: he woke up, Jake. He preached one hundred, one hundred

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Speaker 1: and one. What do you know about this, Jake? I've

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Speaker 1: lost some houses. Who stopped a small community with the

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Speaker 1: houses I've locked? She mad because this food and went

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Speaker 1: out bought a jet ski for over two thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: and she talked about that money he could have used

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Speaker 1: on my diamond rings I get with my girlfriends. They

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Speaker 1: make me feel even worse, putting more pressure on me

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Speaker 1: for not having a ring. Our wedding colors are picked out.

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Speaker 1: He hadn't done at all. He let you pick out

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Speaker 1: the wedding colors. He didn't let you talk about your

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Speaker 1: church reception place in mind. You don't talked about brider party.

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Speaker 1: You didn't picked out a honeymoon location. But a youn't

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Speaker 1: talking about this all you want? Quit pressure me? You

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Speaker 1: want to planet planet? Where you want to go? Where go?

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Speaker 1: You got her girlfriends to tell us thick you play?

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Speaker 1: So baby, what you're gonna do about flowers? Though? It's

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Speaker 1: gonna have nice? Just a reenactment your role? It would

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Speaker 1: be doing are we reenacting this? You want to get married? Hey? Baby?

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Speaker 1: Are you doing? What's going on? I got some got

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Speaker 1: some wedding books. I need you to look at you like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what about this color? About here? I love future? You

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Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, yeah that's cool. Future cool. Yeah? And

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Speaker 1: how about how about we're gonna work on our dance

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Speaker 1: because you know my daddy gonna at the reception. Me

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Speaker 1: and my daddy gonna do a little dance and then

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Speaker 1: you and I do a first dance. So you want

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Speaker 1: to work on that later on the night to dance?

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Speaker 1: I could you know how old are you? You know

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Speaker 1: your daddy might not h that? What now that was

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Speaker 1: about the dance lessons? What happened? What? Oh? Your daddy

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Speaker 1: gonna damn. Yeah, you gott straighten that up, because if

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Speaker 1: you don't, I can call it wedding off. Now what,

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Speaker 1: don't make me? Don't make me call up these plans

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Speaker 1: because I do about your daddy, Yeah yeah, you about

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Speaker 1: your whole assad you. This is upsetting my spirit really truly,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna call this wedding off. Well, if that's what

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Speaker 1: you want to do, then I guess it's just off. Then,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, quick you know what I'm doing? This?

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Speaker 1: Oh cool for Donner. All right, guys, we got to

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Speaker 1: get out of here. Thank you for that reenactment. Email

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Speaker 1: us our Instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM or at My Girls Shirley. You're

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Speaker 1: listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show