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Speaker 1: This is the fread show. Each time.

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Speaker 2: may apply.

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Speaker 1: It's all thanks to the Live nation. Never been left

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Speaker 1: waiting by the phone. It's the Fred Show. Hey Yan,

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Speaker 1: good morning, welcome to the show. How are you well?

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I've done better right.

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Speaker 2: Right see now this is the kind of This is

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Speaker 2: what I want to hear. I want to hear that

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Speaker 2: people are like really distraught when they because you got people.

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Speaker 1: We talk about it all the time. They call up here.

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Speaker 2: Hey man, it's great, Mike, how's everything great? Like the

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Speaker 2: person you like it is not calling you enough that

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Speaker 2: you wrote a radio show, So this is real. I

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Speaker 2: appreciate that, Yahn. So tell me about Alexis. How did

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Speaker 2: you guys meet? I want to hear about any dates

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Speaker 2: you've been on, and then where things are now, Well, we.

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Speaker 3: Meet pretty much how you know everybody does these days,

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Speaker 3: the dating apps. We've been out on one date. It was,

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Speaker 3: you know, standard kind of first date. We did a

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Speaker 3: coffee date, casual. It was honestly great. We had a

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Speaker 3: lot of fun, a lot of laughter, a few things

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Speaker 3: in common. Then we started kind of sort of planning

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Speaker 3: another date and she straight up disappeared, So I don't

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Speaker 3: know what's up.

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Speaker 2: All right, So good first date, talk about a second

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Speaker 2: date that hasn't happened. And now I assume you've texted,

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Speaker 2: you've called, she's not responding now, and you want to

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Speaker 2: know why? How do we go from planning a second

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Speaker 2: date to now you won't talk to me?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: Yes, it's wild, and actually it was one of the

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Speaker 3: things we talked about on our date, about how vapid

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Speaker 3: the dating space is and if you're going to be

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Speaker 3: you know, real about it, be honest and say what's

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Speaker 3: going on. You know, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Cool.

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Speaker 3: I don't understand how we can have that conversation and

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Speaker 3: then she can ice me out.

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Speaker 1: It's so wild. How dare she how could she do?

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Speaker 1: How dare right?

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Speaker 2: But let's let's the reserve judgment now until we hear

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Speaker 2: the whole story. We're going to call Lexus in just

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Speaker 2: a second, well place, so I will come back and

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Speaker 2: we'll do it, and you know, hopefully there's a good

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Speaker 2: explanation as to why she hasn't reached out and she

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Speaker 2: meant to, and maybe we can straighten this out and

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Speaker 2: set you up on another date that we've paid for.

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Speaker 1: Sound good.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate you guys very much, Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Hey, y Hey, what's going on? Guys? All right, welcome back.

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Speaker 1: Let's call Alexus. You guys met on one of the apps.

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Speaker 2: You went on a date, you thought the date went well,

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Speaker 2: you talked about a second date. You also talked about

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Speaker 2: transparency on the date. You're like, hey, you know, isn't

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Speaker 2: it weird how people ghost each other and are you know,

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Speaker 2: don't communicate whatever? And then now you feel like you're

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Speaker 2: being ghosted and you're puzzled and you want to know why.

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Speaker 1: That is the story.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's call Alexus now, good luck, y on,

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Speaker 2: thank you?

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Speaker 1: Hello? Hi is this Alexis? Yes, it is hi Alexis.

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Speaker 1: Good morning. My name is Fred.

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Speaker 2: I'm calling from the Fred Show, the Morning radio Show,

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Speaker 2: the whole Cruise here, and I have to tell you

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Speaker 2: that we are on the radio right now and I

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Speaker 2: would need your permission to continue with the call can

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Speaker 2: which after just a second, would you mind?

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Speaker 3: Sure?

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Speaker 4: Did I win something?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe I won't say. I won't say. I won't

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Speaker 2: say that you didn't just yet. But we're calling on

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Speaker 2: behalf of a guy named Yan who you met on

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Speaker 2: one of the dating apps and went out with recently.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember him? I hope?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, yeah I do.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, he reached out to us and said that

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Speaker 2: he had met you and that he enjoyed seeing you

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Speaker 2: the one time that you did go out, and that

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Speaker 2: you talked about another date. And he says now he

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Speaker 2: can't get a hold of you. So what's going on?

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Speaker 2: Why are you not responding to him?

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Speaker 4: Okay, if you want the truth, I just kind of

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Speaker 4: thought he was shady.

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Speaker 1: Okay, why was he shady?

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Speaker 4: Well, like you said, we met on the apps. I

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Speaker 4: thought that he seemed nice. So why we decided to

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Speaker 4: go out on a date and he just kept pushing

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Speaker 4: for a day date, which is not what I've typically experienced.

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Speaker 4: But I thought, okay, I'll try it out, and we

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Speaker 4: had a nice time, and you know, so I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: let's go on a second date. But then he just

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Speaker 4: kept pushing for a day date. And then he said

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Speaker 4: that nights were hard for him. But I know he

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Speaker 4: works during the day, so I just saw some red flags.

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Speaker 4: And I really don't want to be someone's side piece.

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Speaker 4: So I don't know, it just it made me feel uncomfortable,

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Speaker 4: and I just thought, I don't need to get into

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Speaker 4: something that I don't need to be a part of.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so he works during the day, but he wanted

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Speaker 2: a day date and nights were off limits, and so

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Speaker 2: you're jumping Alexis to the conclusion that Yan must have

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Speaker 2: a wife or another girlfriend or or something, because why

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Speaker 2: wouldn't he be free at all?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was.

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Speaker 4: Really adamant about about growing out during the day.

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Speaker 1: Okay, only during the day.

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Speaker 2: All right, let me bring you on. And I forgot

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Speaker 2: to mention the honest here, I'm very forgetful. I often

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Speaker 2: forget these things. Johan, Why are you You didn't mention

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Speaker 2: that you're unavailable any night ever?

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Speaker 1: Why is that?

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Speaker 3: Well, I usually can't hang out at night because I

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Speaker 3: have my kid most of the time.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you're a dad, which is which is a

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Speaker 2: reasonable explanation.

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Speaker 1: This is why you wouldn't be able to hang out

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Speaker 1: at night?

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Speaker 2: When were you planning to share that with her so

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Speaker 2: that it could put her mind to rest or if

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Speaker 2: nothing else, Because you're a dad and that's you know,

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Speaker 2: a big part of your life, and I would think

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Speaker 2: you would communicate that, So why maybe did we leave

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Speaker 2: that out?

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Speaker 3: I don't disagree. However, there are some things about my

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Speaker 3: life that and I'm sure other people do too, that

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Speaker 3: you don't give out on the first day, that being

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Speaker 3: the fact that I have a kid, because a lot

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Speaker 3: of people, you know, would just say, oh, well, I'm

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Speaker 3: good because you've got a kid. And it's like, well,

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Speaker 3: why don't we get to know each other before you

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Speaker 3: put zero effort into it just because I have a kid.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that getting to know you?

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Speaker 2: Though? Like you have your parents, I mean, this is

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Speaker 2: a significant part of your life. So I mean, you're

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Speaker 2: saying that you don't want to be disqualified because you

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Speaker 2: have a kid. But if do you believe and maybe

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Speaker 2: I don't know the answer, I'm asking you, do you

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Speaker 2: believe that There are a lot of people out there who,

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Speaker 2: if they got to know you, would completely change their

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Speaker 2: philosophy on dating somebody with a kid. Maybe, but I

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Speaker 2: would also say why not you know, if you're proud

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Speaker 2: of being a father exactly at which I believe that

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Speaker 2: you are, I'm not assuming that you're not. And you

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Speaker 2: have a kid, well then it doesn't really matter. If

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Speaker 2: someone doesn't like you because you have a kid, then

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Speaker 2: who cares?

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Speaker 1: Like that?

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Speaker 2: Then forget them anyway? Right, Like you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 2: why are we hooking people and then we're giving that

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Speaker 2: information to them when in fact, if they don't like

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Speaker 2: you and your child, then who cares anyway? It's not

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Speaker 2: going to work out anyway.

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Speaker 3: I suppose that's fair, But there's also I'm sure it's

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Speaker 3: a human nature that with anything that you think might

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Speaker 3: be a deterrent, you might keep that information even though

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Speaker 3: it's something that's completely out of your control. No, I

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Speaker 3: don't tell people. Listen. I hear what you're saying, and

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Speaker 3: I don't completely disagree. But I've also been out on

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Speaker 3: dates where I brought up the fact that I had

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Speaker 3: a kid, and the attitude from the entire date from

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Speaker 3: that point I'm changed.

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Speaker 1: And you shouldn't want to day.

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Speaker 2: You should not want to date anyone or invite anyone

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Speaker 2: in your life who wouldn't accept your kids.

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Speaker 1: So that's actually something great to.

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Speaker 2: Find out on a first date, like, oh, you don't

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Speaker 2: vibe with kids, Okay, you're not for me. Like easy

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Speaker 2: for me to say. I'm sure you get disqualified or

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Speaker 2: people let you down over this, but then again, that's

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Speaker 2: not the person for you. Again, easy for me to say.

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Speaker 2: But this doesn't I suppose there's a percent and I

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Speaker 2: can ask Alexis. I mean, first of all, Lexis, would

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Speaker 2: you have had a problem knowing that he was a father?

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Speaker 2: And then two would you have had a problem learning

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Speaker 2: that he was a father after date three?

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Speaker 1: Four five?

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Speaker 4: First of all, I'm just shocked that I'm even on

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Speaker 4: this phone call right now. But I wouldn't have gone

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Speaker 4: out on a date with him if I know that

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Speaker 4: he had kids, Like, I have no problem with kids,

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Speaker 4: it's just not something that I'm personally in there your

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Speaker 4: heart in my life right now? Yeah, Like I really

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Speaker 4: like to have known that up front. O.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're saying, yeah, right, I'm starting interrupt you, Lexis,

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Speaker 2: but Yan's over here. Going there, you have it, well,

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Speaker 2: then that's not the person for you. No, right, So

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Speaker 2: it's not as though you're going to bamboozle a person

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Speaker 2: who doesn't. You can say what you want about people

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Speaker 2: who don't want to date people with kids. You're allowed

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Speaker 2: to have an opinion about that, but it's not I

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Speaker 2: think it's a low likelihood that you fall for someone

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Speaker 2: after several dates they spring this on you and then

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Speaker 2: they're like, oh now, I don't care. Like that seems

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Speaker 2: like a fundamental thing that people are either into.

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Speaker 1: Where they're not.

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's up to me, that's up to them.

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Speaker 3: And it's not like I was on purpose not ever

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Speaker 3: going to tell this person. But it's not the only

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Speaker 3: part of my life. And I was concentrated on the

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Speaker 3: things that we would have in common more so than

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Speaker 3: telling her the things that we may or may not.

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Speaker 1: Have in common. That's a thing to having.

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Speaker 2: Comman, right, there are plenty of people out there who

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Speaker 2: are not going to have a problem with this. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: there are going to be people who are the same

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Speaker 2: way that they might have a problem with one hundred

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Speaker 2: other things. So I'm not saying that you necessarily, you know,

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Speaker 2: give your entire resume on a first date. But here's

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Speaker 2: something about in my opinion, Joan, here's something about you

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Speaker 2: that's never going to change. You're a father, and I'm

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Speaker 2: assuming you're a good father and you love your kid.

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Speaker 2: So if someone doesn't want to go out with you

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Speaker 2: because of it, that I say that that person's not

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Speaker 2: for you, and you can find someone who will, because

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Speaker 2: I think there are lots of people out there who would,

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Speaker 2: who also have kids, who can relate, just better matches

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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 3: I suppose that's fair, But this is my dating life,

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Speaker 3: you know, Like, I respect you and I hear what

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Speaker 3: you're saying, but you're not going out on my dates.

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Speaker 1: You called me, Okay, you called me. You're right with all?

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Speaker 1: Do have you ever been the child? Like were your

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Speaker 1: parents dating? Like? Are your parents still together?

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Speaker 4: Because speaking as a kid in that situation, you should

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Speaker 4: lead with that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's a way. I think it's an

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Speaker 2: interesting thing to leave out. And I understand what you're

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Speaker 2: saying too, But I guess my argument would be, these

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Speaker 2: aren't the people for you if you're forthright and they

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Speaker 2: don't want to meet you. And for Alexis, she has

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Speaker 2: every right to say, hey, I don't. I'm not interested.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to date people with kids. So, but

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Speaker 2: in whatever the case may be, she found the whole

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Speaker 2: thing shady anyway, Alexis, I'll ask the question.

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Speaker 1: I know the answer. Would you like to go out

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Speaker 1: with him again? We'll pay for it?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely not? Okay, that's a no. Y. I'm sorry, man,

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Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying. I just think maybe there's

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Speaker 2: another way to look at it, and then it avoids

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Speaker 2: you from constantly being let down. Because I don't know

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Speaker 2: that you can avoid the letdown simply by not telling someone,

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Speaker 2: because obviously this isn't going away so and nor should it,

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Speaker 2: nor should you be ashamed of it. So I feel

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Speaker 2: like you lead with it. If the person doesn't like you,

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Speaker 2: you don't invest in them. Easy, right, I suppose.

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Speaker 3: But there are many shades of gray, as humans are nuanced,

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Speaker 3: and that doesn't have to just be I give you

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Speaker 3: all the information too, you know, Like, it's not like

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Speaker 3: I denied the fact that.

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Speaker 1: I have a kid.

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Speaker 3: She didn't ask me, and then I said, well, no,

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Speaker 3: I don't have any kids. I just didn't tell him

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Speaker 3: that I didn't have anything.

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Speaker 1: He's trying to tell him. After the hookup. I feel you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's trying to put it down, lock him in,

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Speaker 2: and then try and talk him into it.

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Speaker 1: Not going to happen. It would be on my profile,

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Speaker 1: but right exactly, Yeah, to some extent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but okay, look guys, I'm sorry, it's not going

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Speaker 2: to work out. Alexis Jon Bested looks at both of you,