1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. It 6 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: is so great to have you here back for another episode, 7 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: one that I am so excited to be able to 8 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: do today. I have an amazing guest to introduce to 9 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: you in just a second. But something that's been on 10 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: my mind a lot recently is the idea of adversity 11 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: and how we can overcome the things that are in 12 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,959 Speaker 1: our path, the things that fate kind of hands us 13 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: and life hands us to become full, amazing, flourishing individuals 14 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: in our lime twenties. And today I have on Bradley, 15 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: the host of the show, a lot to talk about. 16 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 2: How are you, Bradley, I'm so well, and I have 17 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 2: to say you need to get some sort of contract 18 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 2: or deal with calm because your voice is like it 19 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 2: puts me into like a meditative state. That's great. It's 20 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 2: a very peaceful way to spend a podcast. So I'm 21 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 2: absolutely stoked to be here and I love your show, 22 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 2: just so excited to be a part of it. 23 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 3: Thank you. And for those of you who don't know, 24 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 3: I was on Bradley's show this week. We talked about 25 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 3: our twenties and all the things that come with it. 26 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 3: It was such an amazing experience. I feel like I 27 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 3: very rarely have other Australians on the show, so this 28 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 3: is like super special. 29 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 2: To me, so exciting anytime that I think, especially in 30 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 2: this space, Jim, because there are so many people doing 31 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 2: great things in the US market, the UK market, and 32 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 2: I think that Australia is always is like we're a 33 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 2: little bit behind in this space of media, in the 34 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 2: space of podcasting in particular. So the fact that you know, 35 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 2: we've been able to meet connect on very similar interests 36 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 2: and goals for what we're doing in this space, and 37 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 2: then to be able to collaborate on you know, an 38 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,239 Speaker 2: episode on my show, an episode on your show is 39 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,239 Speaker 2: it's a real joy. 40 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 3: It really is. And I think it's one of those 41 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 3: things right when you find people who share a passion, 42 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 3: it's just so incredible and I always creates such an 43 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 3: amazing friendship. And I think the thing that really really 44 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 3: brought me towards your energy and really attracted me to 45 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:38,279 Speaker 3: your energy was you have such a unique and incredible 46 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 3: story that I think is so inspiring and worth sharing. 47 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 3: You know, we talk a lot about the somewhat universal 48 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 3: experiences of our twenties on the show. We talk about 49 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 3: personal growth, but something I think that we need to 50 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 3: discuss more is things that are kind of put in 51 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 3: our path, things that we have to overcome. For you, 52 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 3: is a chronic illness and the best way that we 53 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: can kind of handle and deal with the cards that 54 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 3: we've been dealt. You know, I think your journey in 55 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 3: experience with cistic vibrosis is an incredible example of that. 56 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 3: I know you're at Parliament House last week discussing the 57 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 3: need for greater cover of medications used to treat this illness, 58 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 3: and you do some incredible advocacy. I might just ask 59 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 3: for those of us who don't know what cystic fibrosis is, 60 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,959 Speaker 3: can you maybe provide a bit of an overview. 61 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,959 Speaker 2: Yeah. I'll try to do this in the simplest, least 62 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 2: scientific way possible because it is such a complex condition. 63 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 2: So essentially, cystic fibrosis is a genetic illness. So everyone 64 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 2: which is about three six hundred Australians who have CF 65 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 2: and live with it every day were all born with it. 66 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 2: It's not something you can develop later in life. It's 67 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 2: not something you can catch. You were born with it. 68 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 2: It's two parents having the cystic fibrosis gene, which causes 69 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 2: a chance, not a super likely chance, but enough of 70 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 2: a chance. I believe it's about four percent chance. Where 71 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: two people carry the CF gene, child is born with CF. Now, 72 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 2: essentially CF has what we call different mutations of the illness, 73 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 2: but there's particularly one that is the most common and 74 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 2: also the most severe. It's called delta F five oh eight. 75 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 2: So that's the scientific because I'm going to get. But 76 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,039 Speaker 2: essentially what that means is it means that anyone who 77 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,359 Speaker 2: has that genetic mutation of CF often has issues with 78 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 2: their lungs. So because essentially CF is a defective gene 79 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 2: that's supposed to transport salt and water to the cells 80 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 2: in the body, and where those cells don't get the 81 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: appropriate salt and water through that gene, Essentially, the mucus 82 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,359 Speaker 2: that moves around the body, it gets thicker and stickier, 83 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,600 Speaker 2: and it sits on and impairs the functions of organs 84 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 2: and also scars them. So in the lungs, it means 85 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 2: that you know, we all associate mucus will flam with 86 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 2: the lungs and the respiratory system. Essentially that mucus sits 87 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 2: there and creates a breeding ground for infection, and that's 88 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 2: how a lot of people with CEF have a lot 89 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,839 Speaker 2: of their struggles, you know, lung infection. After lung infection, 90 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 2: that means the depreciating health of our lungs become quite 91 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 2: scarred and they can't breathe properly and they struggle to 92 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 2: get air in and out. And for a lot of 93 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 2: people with SEEF, it means that the capacity of air 94 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 2: they can get into their lungs is quite heavily reduced. 95 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 2: But also it feels like, you know, every time you 96 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,359 Speaker 2: take a breath, you're sort of breathing through a straw, 97 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 2: So it can be quite challenging just in the every 98 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 2: day and almost every breath for people with SEEF. It's 99 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 2: also quite common that people with SEEF suffer from pancreatic insufficiency. 100 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 2: And essentially what that means is anytime I eat food 101 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 2: with protein or fat in it, my body doesn't produce 102 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 2: the appropriate digestive enzymes. To absorb that nutrition and taking 103 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 2: what the body needs to grow, thrive and recover, and 104 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 2: so I have to take digestive enzymes in capsule form 105 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 2: every time I eat any food with protein or fat 106 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 2: in it. Now, for me, it also meant that at 107 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 2: the age of nine, I was diagnosed with livid disease. 108 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 2: I actually have cirrhosis of the liver, which is what 109 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 2: sort of an alcoholic would get after twenty years of 110 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 2: abusing the liver with alcohol. And I've also got diabetes 111 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 2: because of that pancreatic insufficiency. So there's a lot of 112 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,679 Speaker 2: things that come with cystic fibrosis, and it's quite often 113 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: thought of as a lung disease, but it's so much 114 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: more than that, and it's why it's such a complex 115 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 2: disease to understand for so many Aussies. It's also why 116 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 2: so many people we seef live really hard lives, because 117 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 2: there are so many things in the body that can 118 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 2: go wrong and often do go wrong with CF. 119 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 3: That is such an eloquent way of putting it and 120 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 3: so understandable. I think it's really interesting these kind of 121 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 3: illnesses and these kinds of I don't know if I 122 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 3: would classify it as a disease. It's an illness, it's 123 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 3: a chronic illness, right, And we were talking about this 124 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 3: the other day where you just gave me this incredible 125 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 3: list of all these things that your body is going 126 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 3: through and these almost this like very intense physical experiences. 127 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 3: But it's really interesting. I think that we were talking 128 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 3: about how you don't always look sick, and you don't 129 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 3: look like someone who has, you know, dysfunction in your liver. 130 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 3: You don't look like someone who has diabetes. But I'm 131 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 3: sure as a child that that was really different and 132 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 3: you probably had a lot of really hard days. Do 133 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 3: you think your experiences in childhood really have impacted you today, 134 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 3: Like when did you realize that you weren't like other people, 135 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 3: that you had these complications or these elements of this illness. 136 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 2: That's such a great question because there are a few 137 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 2: answers to that. I guess for me, I was born 138 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 2: into this incredible family, So I say that literally the 139 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 2: greatest gift and blessing I ever received was too incredible parents. 140 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 2: When I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, it was just 141 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 2: a couple months later. My parents were sitting in front 142 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 2: of assistic fibrosa specialists. Essentially, the man who is going 143 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 2: to provide the information, provide the understanding, and set them 144 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 2: up for what to expect as parents of a child 145 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 2: was CF and he sat them down and within a 146 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 2: matter of minutes said, your son would be better off 147 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: with the terminal illness that would kill him, or he'd 148 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: get over because cystic fibrosas will ruin his life. Like 149 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 2: he said it with such certainty that they sat there 150 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 2: and were sort of taken aback by it. They've gone 151 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 2: far out, like that's so negative. But what my parents 152 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 2: done was they stood up, looked him in the face 153 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 2: and said you'll never see us again, and walked out 154 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 2: of that room. And they decided to go and see 155 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 2: a doctor who had a more positive view, the same 156 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 2: positive view that they shared for my life. And they 157 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 2: taught me this incredible lesson before I even knew it, 158 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 2: that what you believe is what you become. And so 159 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 2: throughout the course of my early childhood years, we had 160 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: this extremely positive perspective for what my life could and 161 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 2: should look like, regardless of my sistic fibrosis, and in 162 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 2: my early years that was reinforced, that belief was reinforced 163 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,959 Speaker 2: through my ability to compete in athletic endeavors. I was 164 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 2: a really fit, healthy, able young kid, and he was 165 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 2: a state champion sprinter. And I had a younger sister. 166 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,439 Speaker 2: She's two and a half years younger than me. She 167 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 2: doesn't have CF, but as an older brother, you know, 168 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 2: I would sit up at the dinner table every night 169 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 2: and take six to ten digestive enzymes with my dinner. 170 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,959 Speaker 2: It was just, you know, some of the fifty tablets 171 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 2: a day I took as a child. And my sister loved, 172 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 2: adored me and admired me so much that she would 173 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 2: have to have strawberry or orange vitamins so that she 174 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 2: could be like her older brother. 175 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. 176 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 2: And so I credit my sister with building this amazing 177 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 2: self esteem in me as a young man that regardless 178 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 2: of everything that was different with me, I never felt 179 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 2: ashamed of it because for me, my CF was a 180 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 2: badge of honor. My sister looked at me because when 181 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 2: you're young, siblings and your family the people you spend 182 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 2: your time with before you enter your schooling life, and 183 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 2: in the very early years, my CF was not something 184 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 2: that helped me back. In fact, that something my sister 185 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 2: admired about me. So for me, this self esteem was 186 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 2: built that I don't have to look at this any differently. 187 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 2: And in fact, I've been told there's all these things 188 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 2: I shouldn't be able to do, but I'm able to 189 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 2: do them. So that makes me more resilient, it makes 190 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 2: me stronger, and I should actually be proud of this, 191 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 2: and I think it speaks to the importance. You know, 192 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 2: we talk about childhood trauma a lot and how that 193 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 2: shapes us as human beings as we enter adulthood. Well, 194 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 2: in the very early foundational years of my life, my 195 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,439 Speaker 2: family gave me every reason to believe that cystic fibrosis 196 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 2: wouldn't limit or defy my life. And so those early 197 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 2: years I was so healthy. It was more for me 198 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,679 Speaker 2: that when I entered adulthood a little bit of complacency 199 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,960 Speaker 2: allowed some of those challenges to creep in. And I 200 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 2: guess to answer your question and to sort of I guess, 201 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 2: lean on and touch on what you were saying before. 202 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 2: It wasn't really until I was eighteen years of age 203 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 2: that CF really started to challenge me. And the first 204 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 2: challenge was a really severe case of bleeding lungs and 205 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 2: it was the first time I ever remember thinking far 206 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 2: out I'm mortal. I actually I'm not just beating CF. 207 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 2: I'm not miles ahead of it. It's caught up to me, 208 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 2: and it's something I now have to learn to live with. 209 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 2: And that was for me a little bit of a shock. 210 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 2: But I think because my foundational beliefs were so strong 211 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 2: and positive, and I'd built so much resilience through just 212 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,679 Speaker 2: providing myself with this undeniable proof that I can achieve 213 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 2: in spite of CF, that I was able to tackle 214 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 2: that with a really level head. 215 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 3: I genuinely Gotchells when you were talking about your parents' 216 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 3: reaction to that doctor and your sister as well, that 217 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 3: is such a remarkable response and honestly like breathtaking that 218 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 3: they just sound like such incredible role models, so happy 219 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 3: for you that you had that kind of support structure 220 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 3: and such kick ass parents like they genuinely sound incredible. 221 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 3: And I think that it was a really good point 222 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 3: you said, in the sense that the environment that your 223 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 3: family creates for you as a child really shapes your 224 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 3: mindset towards adversity, really shapes your mindset towards the things 225 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 3: that everyone is going to have to encounter and overcome. 226 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 3: I just think that is such a profound and compelling 227 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 3: example of how that works. The fact that you were 228 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 3: still able to excel, the fact that you were able 229 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 3: to perhaps not even recognize that you were sick or 230 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,559 Speaker 3: ill until you were an adult, because your parents almost 231 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 3: created this protective spear around you of not so much 232 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:07,439 Speaker 3: like of just normalcy, of normalcy, and also of capability 233 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 3: and of inspiration one percent. 234 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 2: And I think as a child, you kind of process 235 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 2: the world through feeling and emotion as opposed to you know, 236 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,559 Speaker 2: like I think that belief system that I strongly identify 237 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 2: with now have been quite positive and feeling quite capable 238 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 2: in spite of my challenges as a kid. You you 239 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,840 Speaker 2: don't see it that way. You just think, this is 240 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 2: how I am, and this is how we are as 241 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 2: a family. And that's just something you can feel and 242 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 2: something you know as a as a sense of the 243 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 2: way that you live your life. It's very subconscious where 244 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 2: I think now, you know, I have the beauty of 245 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 2: hindsight understanding, being a twenty six year old man who 246 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 2: you know, is able to look back on all of 247 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 2: those moments and draw the lessons from them and better 248 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 2: understand them and now I can fully process, not subconsciously, 249 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 2: but consciously that they the lessons that my parents were 250 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 2: teaching me, and they led through action, which was just 251 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 2: such a blessing to have that. I guess that support 252 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 2: system around me from you know, my first days. 253 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, And it's such a credit to them. But 254 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 3: I think I also a credit to you that you 255 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 3: were able to adapt and be such a flexible child 256 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 3: and really persevere. This is kind of leading on too, 257 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 3: this other question, and I think it's one that I'm 258 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 3: sure other people have asked you, but I just I 259 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 3: just think it's so valuable to understand how cf how 260 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 3: this illness has really impacted you mentally. I think from 261 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 3: my perspective of you, it's in some ways actually empowered 262 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 3: you because you've this obstacle has been put in your 263 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 3: way and you've kind of been like, no, I'm not 264 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 3: going to I'm not going to take this. This isn't 265 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 3: how my life is going to be. But I'm sure 266 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 3: there's a lot of nuance behind that. So how has 267 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 3: it impacted you psychologically and mentally? 268 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 2: There's definitely positives, Well, there are so many positives. I'll 269 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 2: say that there are so many positives that like you said, 270 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 2: I recognize this incredible purpose in my life that is 271 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 2: because of the challenges I've faced. I recognize this resilience 272 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 2: that is a huge part of who I am as 273 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 2: a human being and allows me to continue to do 274 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 2: what I do. I recognize incredible perspective because for all 275 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 2: the challenges I've faced, I appreciate the gift of every 276 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 2: day having air in my lungs and a heartbeat. I 277 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 2: also appreciate the people in my life because they've been 278 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 2: a huge part of allowing me to be where I 279 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 2: am as healthy as I am today. However, I'll touch 280 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 2: on because I think it would be handy for people listening, 281 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 2: and there's been such a lesson in this over the 282 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 2: course of the last few years for me. I think 283 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 2: the challenges I had that I didn't really understand until 284 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,359 Speaker 2: I was in my early twenties that were a negative, 285 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 2: I guess, a negative view on my CF. I had 286 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 2: this insecurity that as I entered adulthood and started to 287 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 2: face some of these challenges, you know, bleeding lungs and 288 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 2: a little bit of uncertainty surrounding my CF and my 289 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 2: health long term, I had a worry and a fear 290 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 2: that as a man who wanted to be a father, 291 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 2: as a man who wanted to have, you know, a 292 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 2: woman in his life that he loved, adored, and was 293 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 2: able to create a relationship with and a life with. 294 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 2: I had this fear and insecurity that, because of the 295 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 2: uncertainty of my CF why would someone bet their chips 296 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 2: on me? Why would someone choose to enter a relationship 297 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 2: with someone they didn't fully have the certainty that they'd 298 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 2: have a future with. And it was this insecurity that 299 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 2: for a long time stopped me from really stepping into 300 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 2: any sort of potential long term relationships. And you know, 301 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: all the self sabotage in the world and all the 302 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 2: excuses as to why you know, this isn't right, that 303 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 2: isn't right, and ultimately a lot of the potential relationships 304 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 2: I had in my early twenties weren't the right people 305 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 2: for me anyways. But I had this fear that I 306 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 2: just never find the right person, and it definitely troubled 307 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 2: me at times because I've never felt alone. I've got 308 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:21,360 Speaker 2: incredible friends and once again, incredible family, but I did 309 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,959 Speaker 2: feel a sense of loneliness, and loneliness was something that 310 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 2: I definitely struggled with at times throughout the early twenties 311 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 2: of my life, you know, And I remember moving to 312 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 2: I moved to Melbourne in twenty eighteen for work, and 313 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,199 Speaker 2: so out of my comfort zone because I was so 314 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 2: far from my family, you know. I was a flight 315 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 2: or an eight hour drive from my family. I was 316 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,880 Speaker 2: away from all of my friends, and I had quite 317 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 2: a hectic job where I worked seven days a week, 318 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 2: twelve hours a day, and it didn't leave much time 319 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 2: for anything else in my life. But I was staying 320 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 2: and living in a two bedroom apartment by myself, and 321 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 2: I remember sitting in front of the TV getting home 322 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,640 Speaker 2: from work at like nine point thirty ten o'clock every 323 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 2: night and just thinking far out it would be nice 324 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 2: to have someone that I could at least know I 325 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:14,119 Speaker 2: was sacrificing to build a life with. And there was 326 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 2: so much that was flawed in my own relationship with 327 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 2: myself at the time. But I just always seen cystic 328 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 2: fibrosis as almost a roadblock to ever having that, And 329 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: it wasn't until I started to and I don't want 330 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,119 Speaker 2: to skip too far ahead in the story because I'm 331 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:33,119 Speaker 2: sure we'll get there, but it wasn't really until I 332 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 2: started to take control of my health again until I 333 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:41,479 Speaker 2: started to really, you know, willingly choose to suffer and 334 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 2: do hard things and be disciplined and create purpose challenge 335 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 2: goals in my life. That I found this new sense 336 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 2: of confidence that well, actually, there is so much I 337 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 2: can control and through podcasting, podcasting has made a man 338 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 2: out of me. And I don't say that lightly here 339 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 2: during other people's stories, developing my own understanding of the 340 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 2: human being that I am, the way that the world works, 341 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 2: the way that we work as human beings, allowed me 342 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 2: to realize this incredible lesson that in fact, none of 343 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 2: us are guaranteed any time here on earth. That literally, 344 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 2: if you wake up tomorrow with aaron your lungs and 345 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,679 Speaker 2: a heartbeat, you've been given an incredible gift. And so 346 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 2: to think that you are and I say this to 347 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 2: people who see all the time or with chronic illness, 348 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 2: there is no such thing as life expectancy, because no 349 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 2: one's promised any day on this earth. And so every day, 350 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,160 Speaker 2: if you get up and control what you can control 351 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 2: and do what you can do to be at your best, 352 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 2: well then you're in the same boat as everyone else. 353 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 2: So I just decided to stop looking at it as 354 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,360 Speaker 2: a limiting factor. And with that, finally enough, I've found 355 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 2: someone that I love dearly that I am creating a 356 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 2: life with that I now do not feel like cystic 357 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,479 Speaker 2: fibrosis is holding me back or limiting any area of 358 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 2: my life. And so that has probably been, to answer 359 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,880 Speaker 2: your question in the longest way possible, the only rule 360 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 2: negative that I've felt living a life with cystic fibrosis. 361 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 2: But I feel like now as I look in the 362 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 2: rearview mirror at what once was a limiting belief, I 363 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 2: feel very liberated to know that today there's not a 364 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 2: single thing within my world, within my life that I 365 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 2: see as an issue to moving forward with cystic fibrosis. 366 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you. I love that response. I 367 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 3: think that is just such a testament to your character 368 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 3: that you're at this place. There's this saying that I 369 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 3: love that. It's like every bad thing, every twist of fate, 370 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,680 Speaker 3: is meant to bring you to the place that you are, 371 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 3: and I do genuinely believe it. I don't know if 372 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 3: you think this as well, but looking at my own 373 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 3: life and something that I was reflecting on when you 374 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 3: were talking about that is there have been so many 375 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 3: times in my life where I've been in that state 376 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,239 Speaker 3: of loneliness, or where things have gone wrong, where I 377 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 3: haven't gotten what I've wanted, where something has come up 378 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 3: that has really distorted my vision of the future, and 379 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 3: I've been like, that's the end. I didn't get what 380 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 3: I wanted. I deserve to be mas a rule. Now 381 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 3: I'm gonna kind of sit in myself pity. But all 382 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 3: of those things, all of those instances, like when you 383 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 3: were in Melbourne where you were sitting in this state 384 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 3: of almost like despair and really questioning things, They're all 385 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,439 Speaker 3: meant to bring you to this point. They're meant to 386 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 3: teach you an important lesson about where you should take 387 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 3: your life, and for you that is to become an 388 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 3: amazing advocate and amazing podcaster, an amazing partner as well. 389 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 3: But what do you think was that that turning point 390 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 3: in your mindset? What do you think was that moment 391 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,440 Speaker 3: where the flip kind of. 392 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 2: Switched for you. It's such a great question, Jim, because 393 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 2: there are so many there are so many things that 394 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 2: have played equal part in building the new mentality that 395 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 2: I have, in developing my mindset to be where it 396 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 2: is to move forward in life. Right now and I'll 397 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 2: go through a few of them. So when I do 398 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 2: a keynote, I sent to my keynote around four life 399 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 2: changing moments that have led to four life changing lessons now. 400 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 2: The first moment is the moment I spoke about when 401 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 2: I was diagnosed. I always draw back on that even today, 402 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 2: I think about that moment every day. The second is 403 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,199 Speaker 2: the first time that I thought I was dying, so 404 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 2: I spoke about being eighteen and having bleeding lungs for 405 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 2: the first time. I remember being quite ill over the 406 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,639 Speaker 2: course of a week and knowing that I had to 407 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 2: go into hospital, and we're waiting for a hospital bed 408 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: to pop up and be free at RPA Hospital in Sydney, 409 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 2: and so they sent me home to my place at 410 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 2: Wollongong with my old man at the time, and we 411 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 2: were just sitting on the lounge relaxing. I was quite sick, 412 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 2: quite a bit, a lot of mucus in my lungs, 413 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 2: and as I was waiting for this call, I had 414 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 2: this particularly sharp cough that was different to any time 415 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 2: I've ever coughed in my life before that because I 416 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,880 Speaker 2: could taste that metallic taste of blood in my mouth. 417 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 2: After I coughed, and I remember, as soon as I 418 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 2: tasted it, thinking about what I'd heard so many doctors 419 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: say to me over the course of the years prior, 420 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 2: that if you ever cough up fresh blood, you need 421 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 2: to race to emergency because it's a matter of life 422 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 2: or death. And so I remember racing to the laundry, 423 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 2: gripping the laundry sink and coughing up a load of 424 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 2: fresh blood into the sink, looking down at the bottom 425 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 2: of the sink and just seeing that fresh blood and 426 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 2: experiencing the fear and anxiety just wash over your body 427 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,680 Speaker 2: as you just think and can't help but think the worst. 428 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 2: I remember calling out to my old man at the 429 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 2: top of my lungs, and we raced to the car 430 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 2: and started racing towards the emergency room at Wllongong Hospital. 431 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 2: And I remember sitting in the car with an ice 432 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,440 Speaker 2: cream bucket ice cream container in my lap to cough 433 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 2: up the blood into, and just looking at my dad 434 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 2: and thinking, is my old man going to see me 435 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,399 Speaker 2: die in the car? Is he going to get to 436 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,440 Speaker 2: hospital in time? Is he going to have to carry 437 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 2: me in? Is he going to be too late? Is 438 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 2: he going to have to live with that guilt. I 439 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 2: remember realizing that my mom and my sister weren't in 440 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,160 Speaker 2: the car with me, and they were and still are 441 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 2: so important to me, two of my closest people, and 442 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,719 Speaker 2: they thankfully worked at the same place of employment at 443 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 2: the time. And I called their office and my sister answered, 444 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,560 Speaker 2: and I remember having the conversation with my sister saying 445 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:42,360 Speaker 2: that we're racing to emergency. I'm coughing up a lot 446 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 2: of blood and I don't know what's wrong. Can you 447 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 2: or Mom please meet It's an emergency. I love you, 448 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 2: and tell Mom I love her too, and just wondering 449 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,640 Speaker 2: after I hung up the phone whether I'd ever see 450 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:56,639 Speaker 2: them again. And thankfully, my lungs stabilized, and it was 451 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 2: a serious case of pneumonia that took a couple of 452 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 2: weeks in hospital or recover from. But when you're eighteen 453 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,880 Speaker 2: years of age and you literally stare what you think 454 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 2: to be your potential death in the eyes, I had 455 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 2: this life realization. But I was eighteen. I had not 456 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,159 Speaker 2: lived the life I wanted to live, yet I was 457 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 2: devastated by the idea that I was potentially leaving my 458 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 2: family behind. And I remember thinking, I don't ever want 459 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 2: to feel like that again. I don't ever want to 460 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 2: feel like in my final moment, I had so much 461 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 2: left to give. And you know, I talk about this 462 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 2: incredible Confucius quote that every man lives two lives, the 463 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 2: second begins when he realizes he has just one. It 464 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,919 Speaker 2: was that moment at eighteen that I realized this is 465 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 2: my one and only life. Don't waste it. I remember 466 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,359 Speaker 2: a couple of years later, being back in hospital with 467 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 2: a serious infection that I was told could be fatal 468 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 2: if they didn't get a group of it early enough, 469 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 2: and meeting an older gentleman who had terminal cancer. His 470 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 2: name was Ernie, and I invited Ernie around to my 471 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,520 Speaker 2: room one afternoon just to have a conversation over a 472 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,679 Speaker 2: cup of tea. He was staying in the room next door, 473 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 2: in a room full of older gentlemen who were quite sick, 474 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 2: and I could tell he just needed a mate, so 475 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 2: I invited him over, and over the course of two 476 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 2: weeks we spent every afternoon and enjoying a cup of 477 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 2: tea and some bigies together and just talking about life. 478 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 2: And I remember Ernie. I vividly remember him talking about 479 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 2: how important his people were, how much he loved. He'd 480 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 2: actually been married three times, divorced three times, but were 481 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 2: still mates with all his wives. I kind of left 482 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 2: that he was a great man, just such an easy 483 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:43,119 Speaker 2: going fella. He had children, grandchildren that he loved and 484 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 2: just cared for dearly, and not once in that whole 485 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 2: hospital trip. You know, And at the time, I should 486 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,879 Speaker 2: preface that I was so focused on making money. At 487 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 2: the time, I was in real estate and my sole 488 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 2: focus in life was to make money so that I 489 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 2: could buy things to make me feel happy. And when 490 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,719 Speaker 2: you're sitting in a hospital bed and you don't have 491 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 2: the thing that should be a number one priority, your health, 492 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 2: and you're speaking to a man who is literally contemplating 493 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 2: his imminent mortality, and he's not once spoken about the 494 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,479 Speaker 2: car he drove, the house he lived in, how much 495 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 2: money he made. He's just spoken about the people he loved. 496 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,640 Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, can I swear on this podcast? 497 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 3: You sure can? 498 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 2: I thought, well, fuck, haven't I got something wrong? And 499 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,919 Speaker 2: I remember leaving that hospital, and not long after I 500 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 2: quit my job and started to do what I do now. 501 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 2: And the fourth moment I talk about to get back 502 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 2: full circle to your question, I love it. Please is 503 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,240 Speaker 2: July twenty twenty, a couple months out of my job, 504 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 2: starting to do things that I'm really passionate about and 505 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 2: I love, and starting to feel this deep sense of 506 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 2: what we would call purpose to uplift and inspire hope 507 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 2: in others through story having quite a serious three days 508 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 2: of lung bleeds and being in an urgency room in 509 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,239 Speaker 2: Willongong Hospital and sitting there with my old man at 510 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 2: two am whilst we waited for some test results to 511 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 2: come back to see if you know, I'd lost too 512 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 2: much blood and needed a transfusion or whether they needed 513 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,359 Speaker 2: to do a surgery on my lungs. And I remember 514 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 2: looking at my dad and saying, mate, I feel this 515 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 2: deep sense of clarity that not only will I recover 516 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 2: and come back stronger than ever from this, but this 517 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 2: is my time to do something that inspires others who 518 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:32,199 Speaker 2: are living with CF. I recognized the absolute gift that 519 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:36,719 Speaker 2: I'd been given to, you know, two incredible parents who 520 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 2: were so positive, and I thought, not everyone has that gift. 521 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 2: And I thought, can I be the role model that 522 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 2: they were for me to other people who were living 523 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 2: with or affected by cystic fibrosis? And I made a 524 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 2: declaration in that hospital bet at two am that by 525 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 2: the end of that year, so just four and a 526 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 2: half five months later, I'd run a marathon to show 527 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 2: that nothing was impossible and that you could come back 528 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 2: from even the absolute worst of illnesses and issues and 529 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 2: challenges in life. And you know, over the course of 530 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 2: the next four and a half months, I figured it 531 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 2: out and I got a marathon done, and it come 532 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 2: with so many ups and downs and turbulent moments. But 533 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 2: as I crossed the finish line of that marathon, I 534 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 2: realized that for the first time in a long time, 535 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 2: I'd gone out and set myself an incredibly lofty challenge, 536 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 2: and I'd proven to myself that I was capable again. 537 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,960 Speaker 2: It was a feeling I hadn't felt since I was 538 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 2: a child, that I can control what I choose to 539 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 2: control every day, and I can't control when cystic fibrosis 540 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 2: serves me up some bleeding lungs. I can't control when 541 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 2: something in my life goes wrong. So that Tony Robin's 542 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 2: quote right that pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. 543 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 2: But I choose to not suffer over the things I 544 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,480 Speaker 2: can control every day. And I can't even remember the 545 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 2: question ask me when this started. But essentially, what I'm 546 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:08,120 Speaker 2: getting at is it was so important to me to 547 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 2: develop that sense of capability through discipline, purpose and in 548 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 2: turn building incredible resilience and even greater perspective that you 549 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 2: can't be a victim of your circumstances. You have to 550 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 2: own them. You know, you spoke about the cards that 551 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 2: you're dealt. You don't pick the cards you dealt. In 552 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,840 Speaker 2: a game of poker, you either fold or you play on, 553 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:35,040 Speaker 2: and I never fold. I always play on because you 554 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 2: have no other option. You know, you can't you can't 555 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,719 Speaker 2: sit and mull over what is you may as well 556 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 2: use it to your advantage. And essentially, I've found this 557 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 2: incredible view and perspective that I am so blessed to 558 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 2: have been dealt these cards because it's given me the 559 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,440 Speaker 2: opportunity to have a story that can impact people, that 560 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 2: can uplift people like I don't know that i'd be 561 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 2: the man well, in fact, I'm certain I wouldn't be 562 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 2: the man that I am today had I not been 563 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 2: given this challenge. Yeah, because when you fight something for 564 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 2: twenty six years, when you fight every day to keep well, 565 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 2: to keep healthy, it gives you an immense sense of appreciation, 566 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 2: and I'm so grateful for just the little things in 567 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 2: my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 568 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 3: I genuinely I thought I was gonna cry when you 569 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 3: were talking about that, Like that part, Oh my goodness, 570 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 3: like so incredibly moving. And I just think it shows 571 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,080 Speaker 3: how much you've taken from that experience, and even on 572 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 3: a broader scale, how much our like our entire identity 573 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:46,240 Speaker 3: in some ways, the things that we care about most. 574 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 3: Most of it kind of it boils down to two things, right, 575 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 3: It boils down to material and it boils down to internal. 576 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 3: And I think that was so incredible for me to 577 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,760 Speaker 3: hear that switch that you made, that transition from caring 578 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 3: about wealth, from caring about status to really caring about 579 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 3: the things that mattered, like family and like health. And 580 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 3: it's just so incredible how life really sometimes I do 581 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 3: think forces you on the path that you meant to 582 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 3: go on. And I know this is a psychology podcast. 583 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 3: I can't give any explanation for that. I do just 584 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 3: think that it's just something that we're never going to 585 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 3: be able to explain. Fate is a very mysterious thing 586 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:35,960 Speaker 3: that I absolutely believe in and I think your story 587 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 3: is an incredible, incredible display of that that you came 588 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 3: through some incredible, incredibly traumatic times to completely realize yourself 589 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 3: and to be an incredible person. And I think the 590 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 3: other thing that really moves me about that story is 591 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,720 Speaker 3: the marathon. Like I remember you telling me this for 592 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 3: the first time, and I was like, I like, that 593 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 3: is insane to me. This man run a marathon with 594 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 3: like having had his lungs bleeding less than four months before. 595 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 3: Most people don't run a marathon with fully functional lungs. 596 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 3: That's just like insane to me. And I'm sure that's 597 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,640 Speaker 3: a massive achievement for you. But what are some of 598 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 3: the other things that you are so proud of achieving? 599 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,520 Speaker 3: What are some of the things that you you know 600 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 3: as a What are some of the things that your 601 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 3: eighteen year old self wouldn't believe that you've done today. 602 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that question as well, because I think 603 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 2: my eighteen year old self, if I think back to 604 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 2: that kid, there was this I could I can still 605 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 2: tell when I look at him and I look back 606 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 2: at old photos, when I look back at things that 607 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,960 Speaker 2: I'd written on Facebook, or you know, horrifying memories pop 608 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 2: up on the timeline and they stretch it out a 609 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 2: little bit, and I look at that and there was 610 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 2: still this sense of a kid who wanted to help 611 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 2: us others who understood the power of service. But when 612 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,240 Speaker 2: I talk about the podcast making a man out of me, 613 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 2: I truly mean it. I I remember and have this long, 614 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 2: long term passion for storytelling. You know, my parents were 615 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,720 Speaker 2: telling me not too long ago that my first words 616 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 2: were a sentence that I had this love desire to 617 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 2: consistently ask people questions, share stories, connect with people wherever 618 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 2: we went. And I was always more interested in having 619 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 2: a conversation with the adults because they could talk more 620 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,319 Speaker 2: than just running off and playing with the kids. Like 621 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,319 Speaker 2: I had this genuine love for conversation and storytelling. And 622 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,600 Speaker 2: so when I started the podcast, it was me recognizing 623 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 2: that for a few years, I'd done what I thought 624 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,719 Speaker 2: I had to do to be quote unquote successful in 625 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 2: the world, to accumulate wealth, to buy a home, to 626 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,920 Speaker 2: have a nice car, to wear fancy suits, to be 627 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 2: what other people would deem to be impressive, And in 628 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 2: the pursuit of that, I'd completely forgotten what was impressive, enjoyable, 629 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 2: passionate for me. And so when I started the podcast, 630 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,839 Speaker 2: it was a reconnection with an old passion, and just 631 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:27,160 Speaker 2: like lighting a candle, that flame was back as strong 632 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 2: as it used to be. And I felt a sense 633 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,879 Speaker 2: of not only enjoyment in the early days of the podcast, 634 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 2: but I felt this attachment to purpose because I remember 635 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 2: the second episode of the show. It's now at one 636 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 2: hundred and seventy six seventy seven episodes, which is wild 637 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 2: to me, but I remember just after the second episode, 638 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,759 Speaker 2: I released the first three on the same day, and 639 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 2: it was the day after i'd released them, I got 640 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,359 Speaker 2: a message from a girl who lived locally who said 641 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,120 Speaker 2: to me that the second episode, which was a lot 642 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,240 Speaker 2: of it, was with a mental health foundation. She said 643 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,080 Speaker 2: that it had helped her reconnect with her partner who 644 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,040 Speaker 2: was going through a really tough time because he just 645 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 2: lost his dad. And that same day, I remember having 646 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:17,000 Speaker 2: sold two homes and you know, getting that boost of 647 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 2: commission and paycheck through and looking at that feeling, that feeling, 648 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 2: and then comparing it to how good and amazing and 649 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 2: inspiring it felt to get this message, just a message 650 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,800 Speaker 2: from someone who had been moved uplifted, inspired by a 651 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,719 Speaker 2: conversation that i'd hosted, and I thought far out, that's 652 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,160 Speaker 2: a feeling I do not want to forget, like I 653 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,840 Speaker 2: want to continue to feel that, because it was a 654 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 2: sense of service and like true purpose and I remember 655 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 2: connecting with that feeling. And I've gone on throughout the 656 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 2: course of the last three years to have so many 657 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,040 Speaker 2: unique and diverse conversations with people who I likely would 658 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,839 Speaker 2: have never met or being connected to without the podcast. 659 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 2: And I think as teenagers we're quite stubborn, right. We 660 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 2: think that our problems are the only problems in the world, 661 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 2: and that our first world problems are the biggest problems, 662 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,960 Speaker 2: and that everyone should handle their problems the way that 663 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,000 Speaker 2: we do, and everyone should think the way that we think. 664 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,239 Speaker 2: And when you sit down in front of people, you 665 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 2: can sense feel their emotion, when you hear their story 666 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:29,120 Speaker 2: and recognize that everyone has lived differently, you pretty quickly 667 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,359 Speaker 2: learn that life is far bigger than you, that you 668 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 2: are literally a blip in a massive universe that is 669 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 2: full of different people, different experiences, and different stories. And 670 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,319 Speaker 2: in that understanding and in that development over the course 671 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,319 Speaker 2: of three years, I'm so so proud of the man 672 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,759 Speaker 2: it's made out of me, because I am, like I 673 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,719 Speaker 2: never understood the power of being vulnerable. And now I 674 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,480 Speaker 2: literally lead into every conversation I have with this sense 675 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:02,720 Speaker 2: of desire to be vulnerable. This understanding of my purpose, 676 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 2: is understanding of the fact that I want to do 677 00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,560 Speaker 2: something to impact the people not only in my life, 678 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 2: but the people who tune into what I do. And 679 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 2: so I'm so proud. And I think if you showed 680 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,920 Speaker 2: eighteen year old Brad what twenty six year old Brad 681 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 2: was doing, he'd go, that's my dream life. 682 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:21,520 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. 683 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 2: And that's such a nice feeling. 684 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,960 Speaker 3: It's a nice feeling for me to even hear that. Honestly, 685 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 3: to hear that is so compelling to me, and I think, 686 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:36,080 Speaker 3: such just yeah, so profound and so compelling. And something 687 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,880 Speaker 3: that you said then that I think is such a 688 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,880 Speaker 3: motivator for me is that existential sense of your place 689 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 3: in this universe and your place in this world. Sometimes 690 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 3: we need to take a step back. I truly do 691 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 3: believe this and understand that we are so small, and 692 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,520 Speaker 3: understand that we are so tiny in the grand scheme 693 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:02,880 Speaker 3: of things, and by position, by being rational in that 694 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,719 Speaker 3: sense of understanding where we sit in the world, you're 695 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,840 Speaker 3: able to have so much more freedom and so much 696 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,360 Speaker 3: more I would say, so much more freedom, and so 697 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 3: much more authenticity and so much more propensity for passion 698 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:22,359 Speaker 3: because you realize that what you do doesn't matter, but 699 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 3: what you do doesn't matter, So in those moments, you're like, really, 700 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 3: I get to make a choice here. Am I going 701 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:33,520 Speaker 3: to do something that, like, in this short time that 702 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 3: I have really touches people and brings that connection and 703 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:42,440 Speaker 3: makes my life happier and better and deeper. Or am 704 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 3: I going to do something because of material reasons or 705 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,439 Speaker 3: because I'm scared of judgment, or because I'm scared of 706 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,600 Speaker 3: being held back by my illness or by what other 707 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,239 Speaker 3: people think, or by my circumstances. So I do think 708 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:02,480 Speaker 3: that's an incredible reminder. I want to finish on this 709 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:07,680 Speaker 3: question because it's something I love to ask people who 710 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,520 Speaker 3: have amazing stories such as your own, and something that 711 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:15,200 Speaker 3: I think is really valuable from learning or something that's 712 00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 3: really valuable to learn from people such as yourself, and 713 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,839 Speaker 3: that is what advice would you give to someone in 714 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,800 Speaker 3: your shoes? What advice would you give to someone with 715 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:30,400 Speaker 3: CF or someone who's been through the life transitions and 716 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 3: the decisions that you've been through. 717 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 2: If you get the gift of today, which is waking 718 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,960 Speaker 2: up with air and your lungs and a heartbeat, then 719 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:43,000 Speaker 2: you have been given this incredible blessing. And I think 720 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:49,160 Speaker 2: we often look at the future and have these big desires, dreams, hopes, 721 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,080 Speaker 2: things that we want to achieve, but it's understanding that 722 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,719 Speaker 2: it all starts with today. And I would just encourage 723 00:40:55,760 --> 00:41:00,239 Speaker 2: people to recognize that blessing and appreciate the fact that 724 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 2: if you get tomorrow, you're even luckier than you are today. 725 00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 2: And so just don't look too far ahead and don't 726 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 2: be too harsh on yourself for where you are now, 727 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,400 Speaker 2: because for so long I beat myself up about all 728 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,359 Speaker 2: the things that I wasn't doing or wasn't achieving, and 729 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,239 Speaker 2: become insecure about the things that I wasn't when I 730 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 2: compared myself to where other men at twenty six were, 731 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 2: or where other men at twenty were, or eighteen whatever 732 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,160 Speaker 2: stage of my life. And you know, it's so easy 733 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 2: to look at yourself and go, these are all the 734 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,600 Speaker 2: things that I'm not. But you're you for a reason. 735 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:34,680 Speaker 2: And I'm just going to drag this out a little 736 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,440 Speaker 2: bit longer because there's one thing I love it that 737 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,000 Speaker 2: I want to repeat that I heard. Actually, just an 738 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,920 Speaker 2: hour before we jumped on this pod, I heard Chris Williamson, 739 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 2: a guy that I've been really enjoying listening to at 740 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:48,080 Speaker 2: the moment, giving a TED talk, and he spoke about 741 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,919 Speaker 2: how I think it's like a four trillion to one 742 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,719 Speaker 2: chance that you are born as you, and he spoke 743 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:57,319 Speaker 2: about how fascinating and incredible the odds of you being 744 00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,840 Speaker 2: alive as you on this earth are, and he said, 745 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:06,160 Speaker 2: I often hear people talk about all these amazing dreams 746 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:09,279 Speaker 2: and challenges and hopes they have for their life, but 747 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,440 Speaker 2: they always are striving to be like someone else. If 748 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,839 Speaker 2: you're striving to be like someone else, or you can 749 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 2: ever be is average because if you are like everyone 750 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,880 Speaker 2: else who's doing what you want to do in that space, 751 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,440 Speaker 2: then you're just going to be one of many. The 752 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,400 Speaker 2: beauty of life is you get to be one of 753 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,360 Speaker 2: one because there is no one like you. There is 754 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 2: no other like you, and as human beings, we have 755 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:34,600 Speaker 2: to embrace that. And the minute moment point in time 756 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,320 Speaker 2: in which I lean into who I was and accepted 757 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 2: it for all of the challenges that I have, all 758 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,359 Speaker 2: of the things that I'm not and just believe that 759 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,480 Speaker 2: you know what I am who I am, and I 760 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,680 Speaker 2: should be proud of that. And it's armed me with 761 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,759 Speaker 2: this incredible sense of appreciation and perspective that I have 762 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 2: the power to do great things in life. And I'll 763 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 2: just say to people, stop comparing yourself to others, look 764 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,600 Speaker 2: yourself in the mirror except who you are. A move 765 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,960 Speaker 2: forward and make an impact on your small corner of 766 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 2: the world. And that starts with the people in your life. 767 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,640 Speaker 2: You know. If it inspires you to make bigger moves 768 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,200 Speaker 2: and have bigger impact, well then that's amazing, But it 769 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:15,640 Speaker 2: all starts with you being proud of who you are. 770 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I could not agree more. 771 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,880 Speaker 3: I think it's just such a I think that is 772 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,520 Speaker 3: just such a great statement and a great piece of advice, 773 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:30,760 Speaker 3: so inspiring. Genuinely, I'm sitting here contemplating how I can 774 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,320 Speaker 3: impact my small corner, how I can be more like myself. 775 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,000 Speaker 3: I think we talked about this on when I was 776 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:41,480 Speaker 3: on your show, the dangers of comparison, specifically downward social comparison, 777 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,280 Speaker 3: and how it can really put you in a bad space. 778 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,239 Speaker 3: So I completely agree with what you had to say there. 779 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 3: I just want to say thank you so much for 780 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:54,719 Speaker 3: coming on that was personally it felt like it was 781 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,840 Speaker 3: just us, and it is just us. But it's crazy 782 00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,440 Speaker 3: to me that people are going to be listening to 783 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,960 Speaker 3: this because it to just move me so personally in 784 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,279 Speaker 3: this moment. So thank you so much for taking the 785 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,880 Speaker 3: time out of your day to come and speak to me. 786 00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,000 Speaker 2: Honestly, it's been such a pleasure, jem And you know, 787 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 2: when we met not too long ago now a Spotify HQ, 788 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 2: I remember walking away with my partner Sof and just 789 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,680 Speaker 2: us speaking so positively about the connection we had with 790 00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:24,080 Speaker 2: you because it felt so authentic. And I think, you know, 791 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,279 Speaker 2: they say birds of a feather flocked together, and I 792 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,600 Speaker 2: think that night we connected on authenticity and the fact 793 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,120 Speaker 2: that we wanted to do good for the people who 794 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 2: tuned into our shows and whatever we do in this world. 795 00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,520 Speaker 2: And it's just been such a blessing and a pleasure 796 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,960 Speaker 2: to get to know you and to now connect on 797 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 2: our shows. And I'm so moved by what you've been 798 00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 2: able to do and the amazing things that are now 799 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,640 Speaker 2: happening for you with the psychology of your twenties. You 800 00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 2: deserve every little bit of it. And I'm just so 801 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,839 Speaker 2: blessed to be a part of the show's fabric now 802 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,040 Speaker 2: and I hope that people have enjoyed this chat. And 803 00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:00,800 Speaker 2: you know, if people want to continue, you to connect, 804 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,920 Speaker 2: you know, reach out to me, send me a message, 805 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,759 Speaker 2: let me know whether you listen to this episode or not, 806 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 2: and what you loved about it. I just love having 807 00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,640 Speaker 2: conversations with people, and you know, I love hearing that 808 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 2: this stuff has impacted and uplifted the people who tune in. 809 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely all of Bradley's links will be in the 810 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:22,280 Speaker 3: description of this episode. They'll be on Instagram. You should 811 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,279 Speaker 3: really go and listen to a show. Some of the 812 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,879 Speaker 3: most incredible conversations and interviews I've ever heard. You don't 813 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,319 Speaker 3: get enough credit for how vulnerable and candid you are, 814 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:36,640 Speaker 3: and how talented you are at speaking and conversing with anyone. 815 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,000 Speaker 3: It's just such a It's genuinely a gift. It's something 816 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,200 Speaker 3: that I think very few people have. So it was 817 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,160 Speaker 3: just so great to have you on. And a reminder 818 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,520 Speaker 3: that if you did enjoy this episode, please feel free 819 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 3: to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, 820 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,680 Speaker 3: wherever you get your shows. It really helps the show 821 00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:59,760 Speaker 3: to grow and reach new people. And share this episode 822 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,440 Speaker 3: with a friend who you think might benefit from this conversation. 823 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:07,400 Speaker 3: I think it was such a valuable conversation just for me, 824 00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,560 Speaker 3: and I already knew what we were going to talk about, 825 00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,880 Speaker 3: so I'm sure that for them it might be just 826 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,880 Speaker 3: as valuable. And if you want to get involved with 827 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,120 Speaker 3: the community, if you want to reach out you have 828 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:24,240 Speaker 3: episode suggestions, follow us at that Psychology Podcast. Bradley's links 829 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:28,239 Speaker 3: will be in the description of this episode. Please go 830 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:31,120 Speaker 3: and listen to a Lot to talk about and follow 831 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:35,399 Speaker 3: him on Instagram, TikTok, everywhere. Thank you so much,