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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading your letter live.

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Speaker 1: On the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know, it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Bugle love and hold on tight.

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Speaker 3: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject. I'm going with the flow. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty four years old and I met

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Speaker 1: a great man in church and he moved me in

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Speaker 1: after a year of dating. I felt like it was

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Speaker 1: too soon, but my lease was ending, and my friend

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Speaker 1: said that at my age, I should go with the flow.

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Speaker 2: Well, going with the flow has got me in a

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Speaker 2: miserable living situation.

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Speaker 1: Everything is fine between us, but he has a trifling

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Speaker 1: daughter that runs him. She has access to all of

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Speaker 1: his accounts and she paid his mortgage and bill until

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Speaker 1: I moved in. I took over the bills, and she

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Speaker 1: had a nerve to ask me if I would be

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Speaker 1: splitting things fifty to fifty.

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Speaker 2: With her dad.

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Speaker 1: I told him to get her straight, but he didn't,

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Speaker 1: so she still has a key to the house and

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Speaker 1: keys to both his cars. She comes over unannounced to

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Speaker 1: wash clothes or to see what's in our fridge. She

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a car, so she usually rides with different

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Speaker 1: men or some raggedy females she hangs out with. I

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Speaker 1: have a problem with the riff rap being in our house,

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Speaker 1: but her dad is always excited to see her and

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Speaker 1: have a drink with her. The girl uses my makeup

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Speaker 1: and my feminine products without asking and doesn't replace anything.

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Speaker 1: She walks in and out of our bedroom like she's

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Speaker 1: the woman of the house. I told my man that

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Speaker 1: we need to set some boundaries, he says, she used.

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Speaker 1: She's used to it being just the two of them,

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Speaker 1: so I need to give her more time. My friend

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Speaker 1: said the same thing and added that if I keep complain,

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Speaker 1: he's going to get rid of me, not the daughter.

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Speaker 1: If they tell me to go with the flow one

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Speaker 1: more time, I'm going to lose it.

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Speaker 2: I thought about bonding with.

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Speaker 1: The daughter, but she is not the type of person

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Speaker 1: I'd associate myself with. How do I make some changes

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Speaker 1: around here? So that I can be comfortable at home.

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Speaker 2: You're going to have to move. Seriously, you're not going

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Speaker 2: to be comfortable there.

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Speaker 1: You're not going to be able to make any changes

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Speaker 1: there because it's not your house. His disrespectful daughter doesn't

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Speaker 1: want you there interfering with her and her dad's relationship.

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Speaker 1: Can't you see this messing You're messing up her good thing?

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Speaker 1: Speaking of relationships, since I mentioned that, where is this

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Speaker 1: one between you and the dad going anyway? Are you

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Speaker 1: guys planning on being married or you're planning on just

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Speaker 1: living together? You know that should be made clear here

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Speaker 1: because things would change if you became the wife.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to know that.

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Speaker 1: I think you don't tell us how old the daughter is,

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Speaker 1: but I think she's definitely old enough to know she's

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Speaker 1: out of line and what she's doing is for you.

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Speaker 1: She's basically pulling rank and throwing it in her face,

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Speaker 1: in your face that she still comes first with her dad,

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Speaker 1: So you will never be the woman of this house.

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Speaker 1: The bond is just too strong between them, and the

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Speaker 1: dad is scared to say something to her about it

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Speaker 1: for fear she'll disappear. You said in your letter, he's

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Speaker 1: always excited to see her and have a drink with her.

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Speaker 1: Your friends are right about him putting you out before

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Speaker 1: if he has to choose before her, and bonding with

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Speaker 1: her is not going to work because clearly you guys

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Speaker 1: don't like each other, you know. I just find it

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Speaker 1: hard to believe that you didn't know any of this

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Speaker 1: before you moved in. You didn't know how the daughter

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Speaker 1: and the father got along and all of that. You

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Speaker 1: all didn't talk about any of that, or were you

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Speaker 1: just thinking about him providing you with a roof for

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Speaker 1: your head since your lease was up. Your guy isn't

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Speaker 1: stepping up. He's not putting his daughter in her place. So,

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Speaker 1: like I said, you need to move out and get

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Speaker 1: your own place.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, Steve, Yes, great advice.

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Speaker 3: Shery.

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Speaker 4: Here's a problem. I'm going with the flow. This is

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Speaker 4: the whole problem. And the reason this woman has chosen

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Speaker 4: to go with the flow is cause she's fifty four,

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Speaker 4: fifty four. If you were twenty four, thirty four, forty four,

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Speaker 4: would you put up with this? Probably not, But you're

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Speaker 4: fifty four. You're gonna go with the flow. You met

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Speaker 4: a great man in church who how many times we

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Speaker 4: done heard that met a great man at church. He

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Speaker 4: moved in, and he moved me in. After a year

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Speaker 4: of dating, he moved you in. I felt like it

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Speaker 4: was too soon, but my lease was in it, and

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Speaker 4: my friend said, here we go that at my age,

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Speaker 4: I should go with the flow. These your friends. I

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Speaker 4: wish I could see her friends. I really wish I could.

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Speaker 4: I wish I could see him. It would explain so

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Speaker 4: much well. Going with the flow has gotten me in

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Speaker 4: a miserable living situation. Everything is fine between us, but

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Speaker 4: he's got a trifling daughter that runs him. She has

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Speaker 4: access to all his accounts. She pays his mortgage and

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Speaker 4: bills until I moved in. I took over the bills,

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Speaker 4: and she had the nerve to ask me if I

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Speaker 4: would be splitting things fifty to fifty with her dad.

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Speaker 4: She and that good right. I told him to get

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Speaker 4: her straight, but he didn't. She got a key to

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Speaker 4: the house, She got keys to both of his cars.

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Speaker 4: She comes over without asking. She washed clothes or to

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Speaker 4: see what's in the fridge. She doesn't have a who

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Speaker 4: is this good woman here? She ain't got no washing machine,

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Speaker 4: she ain't got nothing to eat, she ain't got no

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Speaker 4: car what So she rides with different men or some

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Speaker 4: raggedy female she hangs out with. I got a problem

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Speaker 4: with the riff raf being in our house. Well, see,

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Speaker 4: SHIRLEYE kind of said this to you, but it ain't

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Speaker 4: your house. She moved you in. The daughter was already

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Speaker 4: in position. She not about to change her position because

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Speaker 4: you done got moved in.

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Speaker 2: Hang on, Steve, we'll recap.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subjects

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Speaker 1: I'm going with the flow. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.

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Speaker 5: Hey, it's Carla fair So kick that old mop and

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Speaker 5: bucket aside. Are you ready for a mop and bucket

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Speaker 5: clean and half the time make the swap to Swipper

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Speaker 5: Power Mop.

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Speaker 2: The only one.

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Speaker 5: Cleaning Hero has a built in solution that breaks down

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Speaker 5: dirt and grime like magic. With hundreds of scrubbing strips

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Speaker 5: on the pad, it absorbs stick nesses with ease. Plus

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Speaker 5: it'll leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.

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Speaker 5: Get yours today and mop smarter with the Swipper Power Mop.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strauwberry letter,

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Speaker 1: the subject.

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Speaker 2: Is I'm going with the flow.

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Speaker 4: I'm going with the flow has gotten this woman in trouble,

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Speaker 4: and it seems to me like that it's age related,

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Speaker 4: cause she starts off the letter, I'm fifty four years old.

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Speaker 4: I met a great guy church. Now this right here,

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Speaker 4: you're letting me know that age has something to do

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Speaker 4: with this letter. I felt like he moved me in

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Speaker 4: after a year dating. Felt like it was too early,

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Speaker 4: but my lease was in it. And my friend said

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Speaker 4: that at my age, I should go with the floor.

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Speaker 4: Because you know, I'm assuming if you're fifty four, you

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Speaker 4: probably wouldn't have went along with this at twenty four,

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Speaker 4: at thirty four or forty four, But somehow fifty four,

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Speaker 4: crossing that half century mark has affected your thinking.

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Speaker 3: So now you'd have signed up.

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Speaker 4: But you didn't know nothing about this little trifling daughter

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Speaker 4: that pays all his bills, all of his mortgage, and

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Speaker 4: all this here you came in. She's so comfortable, she

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Speaker 4: asked you, was you splitting fifty fifty with her daddy?

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Speaker 4: You told her to get her under control. He ain't

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Speaker 4: said nothing to her. Well, it ought to become obvious

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Speaker 4: if you splitting stuff fifty to fifty because you would

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Speaker 4: be making a contribution to the mortgage and all that,

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Speaker 4: but obviously you're not. Now she comes over to the

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Speaker 4: house to wash clothes, check what's in the refrigerator, and

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Speaker 4: she got keys to both because she don't have a car.

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Speaker 3: I don't know who this woman is right here.

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Speaker 4: That ain't got no washing machine, ain't got no need,

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Speaker 4: no food, and don't have no car. And she got

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Speaker 4: these men bringing all over, these raggedy females, and you

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Speaker 4: don't want them in your house. Well, like Shirley pointed out,

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Speaker 4: it's not your house, it's his house. You moved in

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Speaker 4: after Dayton for a year cause you let your friends

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Speaker 4: tell you to go with the flow. Yeah, at one

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Speaker 4: point in time, we're supposted to no more when we

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Speaker 4: get older.

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Speaker 6: I'll admit I've done some stupid stuff after fifty, Lord,

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Speaker 6: have I no kidding?

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Speaker 4: Poor Lord, I've done some stuff, but I ain't never

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Speaker 4: had to write no letter about it.

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Speaker 3: And so now, huh, we could help you? Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: don't need help.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, y'all can't no.

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Speaker 3: No no. The trouble I be getting in can't nobody

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Speaker 3: help me? But the Lord.

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Speaker 4: That's my right there. And my friend said the same thing.

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Speaker 4: He said if you They said, if you keep complaining,

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Speaker 4: he gonna get rid of you and not the daughter.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but what.

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Speaker 4: Are you settling for. You're not complaining. You're the house.

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Speaker 4: You can't set no rules where you live. You can't

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Speaker 4: make no boundaries. You don't like these trifling people hanging

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Speaker 4: out at your house, but you got to let them

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Speaker 4: in because it's his house. Girl, listen to me. You

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Speaker 4: need to go get you another lease and move yourself

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Speaker 4: back into your apartment, or at least threatening to because

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Speaker 4: you need to issue an ultimatum. Look, if I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: be here and I'm gonna be your woman, and you're

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Speaker 4: gonna invite me to this house, you need to share

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Speaker 4: this house with me, because I'm not finna be a tenant.

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Speaker 4: I'm not in here as a border following your rules,

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Speaker 4: you know, like you got to ad B and B you

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Speaker 4: know where I can't. You got rules and established when

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Speaker 4: I come in here. And if I can't establish the rules,

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Speaker 4: I don't need to live here. Why would you live

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Speaker 4: somewhere and you have no say so in the conditions

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Speaker 4: that you have to live in, you can't pick who

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Speaker 4: comes in and out the house. You can't stop people

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Speaker 4: from opening your refrigerator. You can't stop And then she

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Speaker 4: got keys to both cars and she take both of them.

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Speaker 4: You can't stop this woman from driving your car. Suppose

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Speaker 4: you got plans and you look outside and she going

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Speaker 4: in the car you was gonna take.

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Speaker 3: No, man, why would you live like this?

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Speaker 4: It doesn't make any sense all because you going with

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Speaker 4: the flow and you fifty four lady, what you ought

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Speaker 4: to do is go to your man and say this

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Speaker 4: right here, I can't do this no more.

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Speaker 3: I love you, but I can't do this.

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Speaker 4: And I know you love me, but you don't love

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Speaker 4: me enough to make sure that I'm safe and comfortable.

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Speaker 4: Women want to be in a relationship where they First

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Speaker 4: of all, a woman wants to feel safe. If you

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Speaker 4: don't feel safe, man, let's just okay, let's not even

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Speaker 4: get to the provided for a part. Yet you don't

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Speaker 4: feel safe. You mean to tell me. You come in

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Speaker 4: the house and you don't know who's gonna be sitting there.

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Speaker 4: You go to get in the car, you don't know

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Speaker 4: whether it's in the driveway or not. You come in

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Speaker 4: the house and somebody standing in your refrigerator, using your

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Speaker 4: feminine products.

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Speaker 3: Don't ask you nothing.

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Speaker 4: You don't know if when you come in the house

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Speaker 4: that everything you put in place is still gonna be

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Speaker 4: in place. You going in there to watch TV in

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Speaker 4: the living room and some people already in there watching it.

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Speaker 4: You gonna live like that, man? It ain't no way.

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Speaker 4: Home is supposed to be the one place, the one

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Speaker 4: place where you can go and feel safe, have control,

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Speaker 4: have your wusaw moment. You got to go home, be

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Speaker 4: able to take a breath. You can't go home and

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Speaker 4: choke it at the same time that lady, here's what

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Speaker 4: you do. This is how I feel when I come here.

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Speaker 4: I can't do this no more. I know you was

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Speaker 4: trying to help me out. My lease was up, but

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Speaker 4: let me tell you something. I'm gonna go get me

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Speaker 4: another lease and I'm gonna move out because I can't

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Speaker 4: do this no more. I love you, but I know

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Speaker 4: you love your daughter, and I'm not asking you not

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Speaker 4: to love her no more.

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Speaker 1: But I got stick go all right either ut ultimatum

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Speaker 1: on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and Facebook.

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Speaker 2: You can download this today. Have free never sounded so good.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show