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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: If you need advice on relationships, on work, on sex,

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Speaker 2: on parenting, and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to

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Speaker 2: STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and we could be reading your letter

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Speaker 2: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 2: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 2: it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 3: got it. Pull you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: Thank you nephew. Subject hip hop and jazzy. I'll say

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Speaker 2: it again, hip hop and jazzy. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm

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Speaker 2: a fifty two year old divorced woman dating a man

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Speaker 2: that is fifty seven years old. We've been together almost

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Speaker 2: a year, but we have fundamental differences that might break

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Speaker 2: us up. We met at my cousin's fortieth birthday party.

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Speaker 3: He was a DJ, so I.

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Speaker 2: Asked him to play some classic R and B hits

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Speaker 2: because all he was playing was hip hop and we

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Speaker 2: had a lot of older people at the party that

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Speaker 2: weren't into the rap and hip hop music. We got

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Speaker 2: into a shout match because he said he didn't take requests.

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Speaker 2: I ended up leaving a few minutes later because the

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Speaker 2: music was too loud and.

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Speaker 1: Giving me a headache.

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Speaker 2: He got my number and called to personally apologized and

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Speaker 2: asked me to meet him for a drink. We went

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Speaker 2: to a nice jazz club, and that's the music I love.

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Speaker 2: He says he loves it too. We went on a

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Speaker 2: few more dates and I started falling for him. He's

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Speaker 2: an insurance agent and he DJs on the weekend. Because

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Speaker 2: of that, I'm finding out he has two different personalities,

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Speaker 2: and it seems like he's stuck in his thirties.

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Speaker 1: When he was.

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Speaker 2: Djaying for a big rapper. At first, he dressed like

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Speaker 2: a fifty seven year old man. Now he wears jerseys

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Speaker 2: and Jordan's when we go out, and I'm always dressed

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Speaker 2: like a grown woman. He invites me to go to

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Speaker 2: his DJ gigs with him, but I honestly can't deal

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Speaker 2: with all that bass and ignorant lyrics in his type

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Speaker 2: of music. At his house, he plays all rap when

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Speaker 2: I'm there. He says, it's okay to be different and opposite.

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Speaker 1: It's a tract.

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Speaker 3: He said.

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Speaker 2: He really likes me, but I am focused on the

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Speaker 2: wrong things. I want to date a grown man that

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Speaker 2: enjoys grown man things I don't enjoy shopping for hip

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Speaker 2: hop clothes with him, or sitting home alone while he's

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Speaker 2: out at the club. Is his immaturity a deal breaker?

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Speaker 2: Or should I get on his level? Well, my fifty

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Speaker 2: seven year old man ever grow up? That is the question.

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Speaker 2: Well I just have to say, you know, here we

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Speaker 2: go again. Listen to you, listen to you. Just trying

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Speaker 2: to change him, that's what we do. I guess it's

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Speaker 2: the nurturers in us that we always try to rebuild

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Speaker 2: a man. I mean, we tell ladies on the show

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Speaker 2: all the time, you cannot change a man, you know,

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Speaker 2: we can only change ourselves. Remember that first night you

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Speaker 2: met him, you guys got into a shouting match at

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Speaker 2: his job as a hip hop DJ. That's what he

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Speaker 2: was when you met him. Now you want him to

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Speaker 2: be someone else. The truth is, I think he's comfortable

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Speaker 2: being who he is and he doesn't see the point

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Speaker 2: in changing for you right now or maybe never. But

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Speaker 2: I don't want you to change either. I don't want

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Speaker 2: you to change. I can't even believe that you're considering changing.

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Speaker 2: You asked us if you should get on his level.

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Speaker 2: I say, no, you know, just be who you are too.

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Speaker 2: This man is just not for you. He's not the one.

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Speaker 2: And although you may be right in everything you're saying

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Speaker 2: about him growing up and being immature and all of that,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't matter because he's not going to do it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, his look, his act, go with his weekend job,

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Speaker 2: and that's how he makes his money. Yes, he is

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Speaker 2: fifty seven and plays and likes rap and wears hip

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Speaker 2: hop gear. That's it. I mean, it could be a

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Speaker 2: lot worse. I say, but you know, we like who

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Speaker 2: we like, we want who we want. We just you know,

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Speaker 2: can't want to change them. So I say, step aside.

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Speaker 2: Let him have all that. Let him have the club,

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Speaker 2: let him have the clothes, let him have the hip hop,

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Speaker 2: all of that. That's what he likes, while you wait

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Speaker 2: for your own man who likes jazz like you like.

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Speaker 2: Because the DJ is apparently a deal breaker for you,

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Speaker 2: and that's okay, that is okay. You just may not

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Speaker 2: be you know, you guys just may not want to

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Speaker 2: be together or have to be together or can be

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Speaker 2: together because of it.

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Speaker 4: Steve, I agree with you in this response to this

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Speaker 4: letter the Ladies off. You know, Shirley said this on

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Speaker 4: this show, how many times do we tell y'all Op

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Speaker 4: and oven over, stop trying to fix these men, stop

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Speaker 4: collecting red flags, leave them in the ground. Some of

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Speaker 4: y'all riding around with a truck full of red flags,

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Speaker 4: lead them flags stuck in the ground.

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Speaker 3: You you got enough problems.

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Speaker 4: You're too old for this. What you need this in

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Speaker 4: your life? Faull it starting it wrong.

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Speaker 3: It had a.

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Speaker 4: Moment in that way, and when old Kay did it

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Speaker 4: flipped right on back to Rome. You fifty two, he

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Speaker 4: fifty seven. We've been together almost a year now. That

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Speaker 4: means they're sleeping together. But we have fundamental differences. Fundamental difference.

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Speaker 4: Fundamentals build up from what people are with fundamentally this way,

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Speaker 4: for the fundamentals of a person are the foundation of

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Speaker 4: who they are. The fundamentals of your relationship will be

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Speaker 4: what your foundation in the relationship is built on. That's

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Speaker 4: my interpretation of fundamental differences.

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Speaker 3: I was at my cousin's funny birthday party.

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Speaker 4: He was a DJI ask him place with Classic NB

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Speaker 4: because he was just playing hip hop. A lot of

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Speaker 4: older people at the party went into the rapping hip

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Speaker 4: hop music. We got into a shouting match because he

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Speaker 4: said he don't take request? Well, why is you at

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Speaker 4: an old people party? Hire you to DJ and don't

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Speaker 4: take requests? And you at old people party? Do you

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Speaker 4: know that's how we party on request? You know how

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Speaker 4: many times I went up to the DJ booth and say, hey, man,

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Speaker 4: you can't you gotta slow down some of these records. Man,

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Speaker 4: we need some slow jams in here. What you think

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Speaker 4: we're in here for? See back in the club, if

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Speaker 4: you played five fast records in the row, somebody came

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Speaker 4: up to the DJ booth and say, hey, pimp, what

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Speaker 4: you think we in here for? We gotta talk to

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Speaker 4: these girls. We gotta get in they hear. Ain't nobody

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Speaker 4: invented cell phones yet? Hey, get in their ear right now.

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Speaker 2: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 2: twenty three minutes after the hour Today. Strawberry letter title

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Speaker 2: is hip hop and jazzy. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 2: right after this.

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Speaker 1: Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject hip hop and jazzy.

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Speaker 4: This couple is fundamentally different. She's divorced fifty two, he

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Speaker 4: fifty seven. The fundamental differences is all in this letter.

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Speaker 4: But it started he was ding at DJ in the

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Speaker 4: party for her cousin. Now it's the old people at

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Speaker 4: the party. She go up there. He paying all rap music.

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Speaker 4: It ain't going good. She go up there and asked

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Speaker 4: him to change your music. Can she play something else?

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Speaker 4: They get into a shouting match because he said he

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Speaker 4: don't take request. He already at the wrong party. That's

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Speaker 4: how we survived back in the day. He was slow jams.

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Speaker 4: Slow jams was the only way we could get up

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Speaker 4: on this woman and talk to her. And you couldn't

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Speaker 4: play more than five fast records in the row at

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Speaker 4: the club back in the day because we had to

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Speaker 4: slow jail because we got to get up on these

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Speaker 4: women and talk to him because unbeknownst to us, but

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Speaker 4: no one had invented a cell phone back then, so

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Speaker 4: we got to get all that conversation in.

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Speaker 3: Now, she said, I ended.

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Speaker 4: Up leaving a few minutes later because the music was

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Speaker 4: too loud and giving me a headache. He got my

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Speaker 4: number and call to personally apologize and asked me to

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Speaker 4: meet him for a drink. Y'all went to a jazz

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Speaker 4: club and that that's the music I love. He said,

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Speaker 4: he loves it too. We went on a few more

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Speaker 4: dates and I started falling for it. He's an insurance

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Speaker 4: agent and DJ's on the weekend.

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Speaker 3: That's another fundamental difference.

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Speaker 4: One of my best friends is an All State agent.

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Speaker 4: He don't DJ on the weekends because he the All

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Speaker 4: State agent be out here talking about getting paying people

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Speaker 4: death benefits and rescue in they house, and you at

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Speaker 4: the club talking.

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Speaker 3: About Ray Arsen up Ray like you just so that's

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Speaker 3: a fundamental difference.

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Speaker 4: Now, she said, because of that, I'm finding out he

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Speaker 4: got two different personalities and it seems like he's stuck

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Speaker 4: in the thirties when he is DJing for a big rapper.

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Speaker 4: At first, he dressed like his fifty seven year old man.

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Speaker 4: Wait a minute, what you mean? It seems like he

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Speaker 4: stuck what you met him DJ and hip hop music.

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Speaker 4: What's the new discovery? Hell, he ain't up that DJ

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Speaker 4: in music.

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Speaker 3: He don't like.

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Speaker 4: He played what he likes. Now you find out he

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Speaker 4: got two different personnalities. Seemed like he's stuck in his

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Speaker 4: thirties when he's DJing for a big rapper. He been

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Speaker 4: showing you this the whole time you met him. It's

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Speaker 4: tarnet at the party.

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Speaker 3: Now he wears.

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Speaker 4: At first he dressed like a fifty seven year old man.

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Speaker 4: Now he wear jerseys and George's when we go out,

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Speaker 4: and I'm always dressed like a grown woman.

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Speaker 3: I've seen this out before. It's not a good look.

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Speaker 4: We've all seen this out where the woman had on

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Speaker 4: the nice dress, heels and she's sitting over there to

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Speaker 4: this man with this iron T shirt looking like a

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Speaker 4: food I'm sorry, Brus, I'm just gonna put it out there.

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Speaker 4: If you're dating a grown adult woman, then you need

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Speaker 4: to dress like a grown adult man.

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Speaker 3: Lead them tennis shoes at home.

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Speaker 4: Put some slacks of dressed shirt and get you a

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Speaker 4: button down shirt and put you some shoes on. Sitting

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Speaker 4: up across from this woman, she gonna put a dress on,

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Speaker 4: and yolk got some jeans and a big shirt on

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Speaker 4: and a jersey. I don't know nobody greater than me,

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Speaker 4: so I'm not wearing your jersey. I'm sitting up in

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Speaker 4: a Lebron James jersey.

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Speaker 3: Lebron.

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Speaker 4: Ain't me dog sitting up putting promoting staff carry look

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Speaker 4: like skinned. I'm sending a grown old, big little man.

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Speaker 4: I got a little light skin ball on my chest. Man,

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Speaker 4: grow your tuck. Wearing other me and his clothes and stuff.

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Speaker 4: I can't stay a dudes wed. I'm just gonna put

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Speaker 4: it out there now. And then he invites me to

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Speaker 4: go to the DJ gigs with him, but I honestly

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Speaker 4: can't deal with all that base and ignorant lygs and

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Speaker 4: his type of music. At his house he plays all

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Speaker 4: rap when I'm there. He said it's okay to be different,

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Speaker 4: and opposite is a track, and he said he really

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Speaker 4: likes me.

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Speaker 3: But I'm focused on the wrong things. No you not, No,

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Speaker 3: you're not.

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Speaker 4: You better focus on these differences because that's what you're

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Speaker 4: gonna have to live with. The differences, and if you

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Speaker 4: can't deal with the differences, then stop dealing with him,

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Speaker 4: because it's obvious he ain't fit to change. I want

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Speaker 4: a date a grown man that enjoyge grown man things.

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Speaker 3: Well, it ain't him.

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Speaker 4: I don't enjoy shopping for hip hip hop clothes he do.

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Speaker 4: I don't like shopping for hip hoop clothes with him,

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Speaker 4: or sitting home alone while he's out of the club.

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Speaker 3: Why would you sign up for this? At fifty two?

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Speaker 3: You got an older man that's.

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Speaker 4: Blissed sixty all his free time here in the club,

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Speaker 4: he wearing sneakers in jerseys. You sitting over there with

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Speaker 4: your dress on with your legs crossed. Is his immaturity

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Speaker 4: a deal breaking? Well it is for me.

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Speaker 3: And sure.

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Speaker 4: Now if you won't date this little man that's stuck

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Speaker 4: in the past, that thinks he's somebody, he ain't a rapper,

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Speaker 4: obviously he didn't make it. He don't DJ for the

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Speaker 4: big time rapper, No bore, because the big time rappers

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Speaker 4: somewhere raising the family right now. He don't have that

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Speaker 4: because it's got to go to the club and he

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Speaker 4: insurance agents. Is his immaturity deal breaker? Or should I

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Speaker 4: get on his level. So what you're asking us is

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Speaker 4: should I lower yourself down, stop wanting what I want,

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Speaker 4: and just give him everything he wants? How do you

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Speaker 4: expect to stay happy in that? Because you're not fit

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Speaker 4: to start liking map news. You're just not And that's okay. Well,

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Speaker 4: my fifty seven year old man, ever grow up. You

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Speaker 4: don't have a fifty seven year.

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Speaker 2: Old man, all right, Leave us your comments, thank you,

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Speaker 2: Leave us your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram

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Speaker 2: and Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 4: Ten seconds you're actually dating a real old looking boy.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show