Speaker 1: What up bright Side Besties, Hello Sunshine. Today on the
Speaker 1: bright Side, our segment, Grand Old Granny's is back with
Speaker 1: parenting advice from Doctor Flow Rosen aka TikTok's very favorite Grandma.
Speaker 1: Ask Bubby, it's Monday, April eighth.
Speaker 2: I'm Danielle Robey and I'm Simone. Boys. This is the
Speaker 2: bright Side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 1: This is the first time we are recording apart sea money.
Speaker 1: Where are you recording from? Are you stuck in a
Speaker 1: little closet?
Speaker 2: Where are you? I am at a hotel in Madina,
Speaker 2: New York, because I am here to witness the total
Speaker 2: eclipse of the sun later on today.
Speaker 1: If I threw a dart onto a map, you think
Speaker 1: I would find it.
Speaker 2: It's a tiny, tiny little town. I have a lot
Speaker 2: of my dad's family from here, so this is actually great.
Speaker 2: I get to catch up with my family members that
Speaker 2: I never see, and we're gonna watch this phenomenon take place.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited you're there because you're gonna give us
Speaker 1: a first hand account of what it was all.
Speaker 2: Like yes coming to tomorrow. You can hear my loud
Speaker 2: breathing and reactions and oohs and ahs as I witness
Speaker 2: the solar eclipse.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't mean to get deep, but I
Speaker 1: do think that there's this amazing feeling that humans get
Speaker 1: with awe awe, and so I hope you feel some awe.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to hear about it. That's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2: But first we're going to get into what's popping on
Speaker 2: our feeds today. This is your morning drip, Danielle. We
Speaker 2: have some very big news from our Hello Sunshine family.
Speaker 2: Who is it? Big news and an exciting update for
Speaker 2: all the Elwoods fans out there. So, a TV series
Speaker 2: inspired by Legally Blond is currently in development at Amazon.
Speaker 2: It is happening people.
Speaker 1: We've all been wanting more el Woods, like I watched
Speaker 1: Legally Blonde on almost every airplane ride.
Speaker 2: I'm on now I'm going to get new content totally.
Speaker 2: It's ubiquitous. It's a seminal film for feminists, for just
Speaker 2: Hollywood in general. This comes up a lot though, when
Speaker 2: we're working on the show and doing interviews with folks
Speaker 2: on the show, they talk about how Elle Woods has
Speaker 2: inspired them to pursue law or politics. I mean, the
Speaker 2: impact is just immeasurable from this one character.
Speaker 1: I don't think I realized it when I was growing
Speaker 1: up because I just loved the movie. I thought it
Speaker 1: was so fun and I loved watching her outfits and
Speaker 1: her friendship with her sorority sisters. But I actually watched
Speaker 1: recently on a plane ride to New York and realized
Speaker 1: how well it stood up, Like not every movie from
Speaker 1: that time stands the test of time in terms of
Speaker 1: how culture is spoken about, and it really does stand up.
Speaker 2: And you can bet we're going to be getting that
Speaker 2: same quality because Reese Wetherspoon is back as one of
Speaker 2: the series executive producers. I mean, I cannot wait for this.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have to have some sort of bright Side
Speaker 2: launch party for this.
Speaker 1: She produces our podcast and legally Blonde the series How
Speaker 1: Cool Is That?
Speaker 2: Very also exciting.
Speaker 1: Sex in the City is now available on Netflix, So
Speaker 1: for those of you like me that love Sex in
Speaker 1: the City, you'll remember it's triumphant run on HBO in
Speaker 1: the late nineteen nineties and early two thousands, And I
Speaker 1: think it's kind of surreal to see the sitcom vault
Speaker 1: into the Netflix Top ten.
Speaker 2: That means gen Z is watching too, I think.
Speaker 1: And until last year, HBO had a policy where they
Speaker 1: weren't licensing their shows to Netflix.
Speaker 2: So now I think you.
Speaker 1: Get to decide if you're a Carrie, A Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte,
Speaker 1: or a mix on multiple platforms.
Speaker 2: Which one are you?
Speaker 1: I always felt like I was a mix between Carrie
Speaker 1: and Samantha.
Speaker 2: How about you? I honestly don't know enough about it
Speaker 2: to say who I am. I did not watch it.
Speaker 1: I feel like we need a weekend to lay in
Speaker 1: bed and watch this show. I feel like you, it
Speaker 1: like encapsulates so much of your dating life in your
Speaker 1: twenties and thirties.
Speaker 2: I don't know, does it I don't personally, I don't
Speaker 2: know that it represents me or I don't know that
Speaker 2: I actually saw myself in the show necessarily. It's fair.
Speaker 1: There is a huge lack of representation in the original series,
Speaker 1: and that's been talked about a lot. But I do
Speaker 1: think that women who date their twenties and thirties see
Speaker 1: parts of themselves in that show no matter what. Like
Speaker 1: there's just a sisterhood too, that's really fun. You know
Speaker 1: what was my Sex and the City Girls.
Speaker 2: That was my version. It was like a little bit quirkier,
Speaker 2: a little bit more off kilter, it.
Speaker 1: I didn't love the show as much. I hear what
Speaker 1: it was that awkward humor and I love that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was very Brooklyn centric.
Speaker 2: Yes, all right, Danielle. Personal question, how many group chats
Speaker 2: are you currently involved in at this moment in time.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like that's that personal. I'm involved in
Speaker 1: probably like four group chats. One is with my family.
Speaker 2: Damn, that's a lot. No, Well, what's considered a group
Speaker 2: you know, that's a good question. I feel like a
Speaker 2: group chat is like a gaggle of people. It's got
Speaker 2: to be. It's a gaggle like eight to ten. Maybe
Speaker 2: let's talk about a group chat that has five members
Speaker 2: in it, or at least had five members in it.
Speaker 2: Because Melby from The Spice Girls recently revealed that she
Speaker 2: actually got kicked out of the Spice Girls chat in
Speaker 2: twenty nineteen. This is egregious. Can you believe it?
Speaker 1: The Spice Girls are five girls. You can't have four
Speaker 1: girls and the Spice Girls. Okay, Well, she wasn't actually
Speaker 1: kicked out of the band. She was kicked out of
Speaker 1: the group chat. And here's why this is her crime.
Speaker 1: She apparently leaked intel from the chat about a possible
Speaker 1: Spice Girls reunion tour. So this is actually very very
Speaker 1: exciting news. I mean, it feels like that's worthy of
Speaker 1: getting kicked out.
Speaker 2: She can't be trusted. Group chats are sacred. I'm still
Speaker 2: stuck on the fact that a thirtieth reunion tour might
Speaker 2: be in the works. Are you gonna be there?
Speaker 1: Spice Girls set up my entire life, Like I was
Speaker 1: Spice Girls obsessed. I watched that movie over and over again,
Speaker 1: Spice World, Oh my God. I wanted to look like them,
Speaker 1: and dress like them and eat lollipops like them.
Speaker 2: I was obsessed eat lollipops like them. I'm sorry, can
Speaker 2: you elaborate?
Speaker 1: They had Spice Girls lollipops, and I just begged my
Speaker 1: mom to buy them so I could be like them.
Speaker 2: That is so obscure. The Spice Girls are woven into
Speaker 2: every major memory I have, pretty much from childhood. In
Speaker 2: the nineties, I was at a sleepover when I found
Speaker 2: out that Princess Diana died and we were all dressed
Speaker 2: up as Spice Girls at that time, so I now
Speaker 2: associate her passing with the Spice Girls. It's like they're
Speaker 2: extricably linked to everything from my childhood.
Speaker 1: I do think there's something actually, like culturally deeper here,
Speaker 1: which is girl groups, specifically like pop music girl groups
Speaker 1: like Destiny's Child. They I think really inspired women to
Speaker 1: feel that sisterhood, to feel collaborative, to be not competitive
Speaker 1: with each other in a way that maybe like other
Speaker 1: generations didn't have. That's true, and so I think the
Speaker 1: Spice Girls actually had more to do with feminism than
Speaker 1: we give them credit for.
Speaker 2: Oh, one hundred percent, Which Spice girl do you identify
Speaker 2: with the most now or then? Then? Well, actually I
Speaker 2: want to know both.
Speaker 1: Okay, Then I was obsessed with Ginger. I loved her
Speaker 1: red hair, and I felt like she had like all
Speaker 1: these like sexy outfits. It's with her, like British flag
Speaker 1: tank tops or dresses. Now, I think I would be
Speaker 1: sporty Spice, but she wasn't as cool back then.
Speaker 2: But that's really the real me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I'm in sneakers and workout clothes.
Speaker 2: How about you? This question is a little bit triggering
Speaker 2: for me because as a biracial girl with curly hair,
Speaker 2: you were and usually you're the only one who looks
Speaker 2: like that in your friend group, at least where I
Speaker 2: grew up. Yeah, you have no choice, but to be
Speaker 2: scary Spicce. You were forced to be scary Spicce every time,
Speaker 2: and no shade to Melbe. But I just wanted to
Speaker 2: have different options. All the other girls got options whenever
Speaker 2: we were playing dress up, so I always I always
Speaker 2: had an affinity towards Baby. We actually share the same birthday.
Speaker 2: But now I totally agree. I am sporty spice in
Speaker 2: my day to day life. Yes, no, you really are
Speaker 2: like crop tops, sports spras cargo pants. I'm all about it.
Speaker 1: We both lean heavy into the sports girl aesthetic.
Speaker 2: I think you just you graduate into the spice lifestyle
Speaker 2: as you get older. It's more comfortable. Okay, speaking of
Speaker 2: girl group Speaking of girl groups, Okay, I actually do
Speaker 2: have a few group chats in my phone right now,
Speaker 2: and one of them is all about a bachelorette party
Speaker 2: and it's kind of taking over my whole life. Oh
Speaker 2: my god.
Speaker 1: Bachelorette parties are the bane of my whole existence. I
Speaker 1: have friends now, like my really close friends know not
Speaker 1: to invite me to their bachelorette parties.
Speaker 2: And why are you laughing? That's not a great thing.
Speaker 1: No, it's a loving thing, because then I don't have
Speaker 1: to lovingly decline.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, keep going, keep going. I never want
Speaker 2: to be seen in a penis hat. Ever. I here's
Speaker 2: the thing.
Speaker 1: I was invited to a bachelorette my good friend Chelsea,
Speaker 1: and we went to college together, and she's the kind
Speaker 1: of friend that I knew it was really important to her.
Speaker 1: So I couldn't say no, because it's like for sometimes
Speaker 1: you give right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I went.
Speaker 1: It was in Nashville. She rented the most gorgeous airbnb.
Speaker 1: Like when I tell you, we were all living in
Speaker 1: the lap of luxury. It was so fun to all
Speaker 1: be together, our college friends were all together. But by
Speaker 1: night too, I was like, I'm out, and they all
Speaker 1: went out and I went back to the Airbnb and
Speaker 1: fell asleep on my nice bed.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, let me tell you about this new trend
Speaker 2: that I saw in the New York Times, because this
Speaker 2: might be your opt out please for bachelorette parties. Okay, so,
Speaker 2: instead of a bachelorette party, apparently, wellness weekends are the
Speaker 2: new thing to do. So you don't have to have
Speaker 2: this like blowout, hangover style epic bachelorette weekend, but you
Speaker 2: can just host a slower, soothing wellness centered weekend where
Speaker 2: you and your bridal party just get to relax. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with this.
Speaker 1: That sounds great, right, Invite me to get a foot massage,
Speaker 1: Invite me to the South of France. Sure, I'm saying
Speaker 1: yes to all of those things.
Speaker 2: Guided meditation, Yeah, group, sound bath.
Speaker 1: I'm in all the woo woo. Let's light some candles
Speaker 1: and say are prayer together.
Speaker 2: So I have a theory that age is a really
Speaker 2: big factor here. I think as I get older, I'm
Speaker 2: in my mid thirties, I think it's just harder and
Speaker 2: harder to go to a bachelorette party.
Speaker 1: It's really hard to take the time off work. And
Speaker 1: I think the expense has gotten so out of control.
Speaker 2: It's hard to take the time off of work. I'm
Speaker 2: going to one this summer, and I cannot wait to
Speaker 2: see all my girlfriends. But we're all going to be
Speaker 2: sharing a room. And no, no, I don't. You're thirty six.
Speaker 2: I know, I don't. I don't know how I feel
Speaker 2: about sharing rooms at this point.
Speaker 1: It's too hard because you have to like call your
Speaker 1: kids at night and talk to them and speak to
Speaker 1: your husband, and it's just i'd rather be more intentional
Speaker 1: about the time I'm taking off and where I want
Speaker 1: to go instead of having this like forced fun.
Speaker 2: Weekend because I actually feel like there's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2: I think they can be really fun. I actually I
Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not trying to call you out, So
Speaker 2: don't please call me out. No, no, no. I love my
Speaker 2: friends so much that I'm willing to stomach it. But
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't know how many more of these
Speaker 2: do I have left in me.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, actually, as somebody who like I'm probably going to
Speaker 1: get married later in my life if that happens, and
Speaker 1: I think about that, because I'm like, at some point
Speaker 1: it changes for your friend group, like people have exhausted this.
Speaker 1: You have to do something else if you want to
Speaker 1: do some sort of weekend.
Speaker 2: I don't like putting people out.
Speaker 1: I would never like ask people to take off a
Speaker 1: day of work, fly across the country.
Speaker 2: It just feels like a lot. But this is something
Speaker 2: that I've learned about friendship. Sometimes you have to do
Speaker 2: that because some yeah, you have to allow people to
Speaker 2: show up for.
Speaker 1: You, but can't they show up for you, like in
Speaker 1: the city that you live in. It just feels so
Speaker 1: extravagant nowadays.
Speaker 2: But if your friends really love you, and they do
Speaker 2: because you're an amazing human being, they will want to
Speaker 2: do that for you because they know that it means
Speaker 2: a lot to you, and you know, don't you want
Speaker 2: to do that to them?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 2: Okay, I give up, I give up. I like this
Speaker 2: idea though. I like a wellness weekend. I'm in for that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I just want to do wellness weekends even when I'm
Speaker 2: not getting married. Can we just do that? Yes, without
Speaker 2: a wedding.
Speaker 1: Simona and I have this thing that we're going on
Speaker 1: one friend date a month, doing something weird, like going
Speaker 1: to a rodeo. She's I think making me go to Disneyland.
Speaker 2: I don't know, TBD.
Speaker 1: I'm still fighting that one, but I think we should
Speaker 1: add a wellness weekend to this.
Speaker 2: I love that we have to actually plan this, though
Speaker 2: not the Disney lamb. All right, up next, we're talking
Speaker 2: to one of the bright sides grand old Grannies, Doctor
Speaker 2: Flow Rosen aka ask Bubby joins us to share some
Speaker 2: parenting wisdom. You don't want to miss this.
Speaker 1: We're back and it's time for another Grand Old Granny's segment.
Speaker 1: We're talking to the brilliant pediatrician turned very famous grandma,
Speaker 1: doctor Flow Rosen. She's the star of the Ask Bubby,
Speaker 1: TikTok and Instagram accounts, where she talks about everything from
Speaker 1: diaper rashes to car seats.
Speaker 2: Truly, any question you have about babies or kids, Danielle.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm so excited for this conversation because I
Speaker 2: have two very active toddler boys at home, and I
Speaker 2: think I speak for all the parents of littles under
Speaker 2: five out there when I say we can always use
Speaker 2: more help and more advice. I also want to.
Speaker 1: Add that, even though I'm not a parent, I love
Speaker 1: following parenting advice and parenting experts because I find that
Speaker 1: it's really about great communication. So I think we all
Speaker 1: have something to learn from this, doctor Rosen. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the bright side.
Speaker 2: Welcome, Hi.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2: Are we allowed to call you Bubby?
Speaker 3: Absolutely an honor.
Speaker 1: How does it feel to be the internet's bubby? That's
Speaker 1: a lot of responsibility, Well.
Speaker 3: It is, but I absolutely love it.
Speaker 4: I waited a very long time to become a grandmom,
Speaker 4: so I am enjoying every minute of it.
Speaker 1: You have to tell everybody the difference between a bubby
Speaker 1: and a grandmother, because.
Speaker 4: There is a difference. Well, I don't know that there
Speaker 4: really is. I'm curious what you think the difference is.
Speaker 1: So I personally feel like bubby's are way more in
Speaker 1: your business.
Speaker 4: Yes, but that's because bubby is the Yiddish name for grandmother,
Speaker 4: and given that Jewish mothers are known throughout the world to.
Speaker 3: Be a little more in your business.
Speaker 4: I think your interpretation is probably right.
Speaker 1: Did you have a bubby or a grandmother? Do you know?
Speaker 4: Actually, my parents were Holocaust survivors, so my kids had
Speaker 4: their grandmother, their grandfather, and they had their Zaiti my father.
Speaker 3: But I didn't have any grandparents.
Speaker 1: Wow, so you're kind of creating what this footprint looks
Speaker 1: like for your family.
Speaker 4: Yes, but I will tell you my kids grandparents were wonderful,
Speaker 4: So they were great role models.
Speaker 2: That's wonderful. Okay, let's rewind a little bit, because you
Speaker 2: were a pediatrician practicing for forty two years. You also
Speaker 2: taught med students for years at the University of Pennsylvania,
Speaker 2: and then it seems like suddenly overnight you became an
Speaker 2: internet sensation after this video of you and your grandson.
Speaker 2: What was posted on TikTok? Tell us how that all
Speaker 2: went down.
Speaker 4: It was actually a very funny thing. My daughter in
Speaker 4: law is in social media, so Trent was having his
Speaker 4: first tummy time experience and my daughter in law was
Speaker 4: videotaping me showing her the right position to put him in,
Speaker 4: and then Trent very unexpectedly looked at me and rolled over,
Speaker 4: and I was in a state of shock. Eight days
Speaker 4: old at this point, eight days old, eight day old
Speaker 4: do not roll over generally unless there's some sort of problem.
Speaker 4: He had no problem. He just rolled over. So I
Speaker 4: was so shocked that I looked like an absolute idiot
Speaker 4: on camera. And my daughter in law thought it was
Speaker 4: absolutely hysterical. She said she was going to post it,
Speaker 4: and I had said to you, you know, well I always
Speaker 4: figured when I retired that I wanted to do an
Speaker 4: advice column, and she looked at me in total shock
Speaker 4: and horror, went an advice column. That's so old school,
Speaker 4: we're putting you on social media and she immediately established
Speaker 4: my accounts on TikTok and Instagram. Well, that original video
Speaker 4: has been seen over twenty five million times.
Speaker 2: What do you think it is that was drawing people
Speaker 2: in like that.
Speaker 3: That I looked like such an idiot.
Speaker 2: No, I think it's your organic reaction.
Speaker 4: Well, I think that's what people responded to, but I
Speaker 4: truly was flabriastd.
Speaker 1: Well, you also have this added expertise because of your
Speaker 1: years as a physician, so I think there's this added
Speaker 1: element of trust and inquiry that people have with you.
Speaker 2: All right, ask bubby.
Speaker 1: There's a reason you put the ask in front of
Speaker 1: the bubby because everybody has questions for you. You've been
Speaker 1: a pediatrician and a mom for over forty years. Now
Speaker 1: you're a grandmother, so we have decades of experience sitting
Speaker 1: right here, and we have lots of questions for you.
Speaker 3: Ask away, I'll try to answer them.
Speaker 1: Okay, The first question comes from a listener. How do
Speaker 1: you stay calm while your baby is screaming?
Speaker 3: Well, I actually did a video on this.
Speaker 4: The truth is you have to remember that that's the
Speaker 4: only way the baby knows how to communicate. So they're
Speaker 4: just telling you that something is wrong. So obviously you
Speaker 4: want to try to figure out what's upsetting your baby.
Speaker 4: Is something in their clothing digging in? Do they have
Speaker 4: a wet diaper? Are they hungry? Are they overtired? You
Speaker 4: kind of go through all of that, and after you've
Speaker 4: gone through everything and you're really at your wits end,
Speaker 4: put the baby down. Put the baby somewhere safe. It
Speaker 4: can be a playpen, it can be the crib, go somewhere,
Speaker 4: you can go in the bathroom, close the door and
Speaker 4: do a primal scream into a pillow. Whatever it takes
Speaker 4: to relief your tension, as long as the baby is safe.
Speaker 1: So it's not going to give them like lowercase t
Speaker 1: trauma later. Because all my friends with kids are like,
Speaker 1: I'm so scared to leave the baby while they're crying.
Speaker 4: I think it is much safer to leave a crying
Speaker 4: baby after you've ruled out everything that could possibly be wrong.
Speaker 4: It's much safer to leave the baby than to actually
Speaker 4: get frustrated and yell at the baby or god forbid,
Speaker 4: shake the baby. And I will tell you with my
Speaker 4: younger son, once he was crying unbelievably and I tried everything.
Speaker 4: I nursed him, I changed his diaper, I changed what
Speaker 4: he was wearing, and I finally looked at my husband
Speaker 4: in total defeat and said, I just I don't know
Speaker 4: what else to do. I'm just putting him down, and
Speaker 4: I put him down in his crib. He looked at me,
Speaker 4: flashed a smile, and went.
Speaker 3: Right to sleep.
Speaker 4: All he wanted was to be left alone, and I
Speaker 4: spent three hours to him.
Speaker 2: Wow. Well, I think this gets to the importance of
Speaker 2: teaching your baby to self soothe. They have to be
Speaker 2: able to learn how to self soothe. And this of
Speaker 2: course opens up the whole sleep training discussion.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, I know.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go there. Okay, I'm gonna open up the
Speaker 2: sleep training can of worms. Bobby. I am such a
Speaker 2: firm believer in sleep training. I think it helps the
Speaker 2: parents regain control over their life. I think it teaches
Speaker 2: the babies how to self soothe. Tell the Internet that
Speaker 2: I'm right.
Speaker 3: I actually think you are.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 4: There have been different methods of sleep training that people
Speaker 4: have tried for generations. What you want to try to
Speaker 4: do is be consistent. You want to have a schedule,
Speaker 4: and you want to make the baby have cues so
Speaker 4: they know it's bedtime. So you want to change the
Speaker 4: you know, turn the lights down in their room. You know,
Speaker 4: whether it's a bottle, whether it's a story, whether it's music.
Speaker 4: Just try to go through the same routine, so they
Speaker 4: get the message that that's bedtime.
Speaker 1: Tell me about this, because so I don't have kids yet.
Speaker 1: I love when my friends have kids. I love smelling
Speaker 1: the baby, I love holding the baby. It like makes
Speaker 1: my heart smile. If that sounds so corny, but it's true.
Speaker 1: So I never quite know when the right time is
Speaker 1: to go visit. I want to be respectful, obviously, what's
Speaker 1: your take on it.
Speaker 4: There is a particular window, and that window is certainly
Speaker 4: up to at least eight weeks, and if a baby
Speaker 4: were to get a fever in that period, there is
Speaker 4: the potential that they would need what's quite a full
Speaker 4: septic workup, which in addition to a blood test and
Speaker 4: the urine test, would also include a spinal tap. Not
Speaker 4: all of them will get it, but it's still a
Speaker 4: very high risk and certainly under six weeks. So a
Speaker 4: lot of parents are very nervous and understandably saw in
Speaker 4: the first two months, and you really want to respect that.
Speaker 2: I actually have very strong feelings about this, but not
Speaker 2: from a medical or safety perspective. It's more protecting the
Speaker 2: mom's peace perspective. I think that the time after a
Speaker 2: woman gives birth is such a raw time, your hormones
Speaker 2: are surging and plummeting, and I mean, for me, it
Speaker 2: was one of the darkest, most bewildering times, but also
Speaker 2: a really beautiful and exhilarating time because you're getting to
Speaker 2: meet your baby and hold your baby for the first time.
Speaker 2: You just don't know which ways up, which ways down.
Speaker 2: And I think to impose on a new mother and
Speaker 2: say like, we got to come by and see the
Speaker 2: baby when they're two weeks old or three weeks old,
Speaker 2: or even a week old, it's just too much. Like
Speaker 2: so my advice to all mothers out there, new moms,
Speaker 2: like you tell people when it's okay for them to come.
Speaker 4: Well, I agree completely, but what you're really saying. The
Speaker 4: message there, this is really important for all new moms
Speaker 4: is set limits. Yes, And I found and I think
Speaker 4: that new parents have the right to set whatever limit
Speaker 4: they want. They don't have to explain it, they don't
Speaker 4: have to just defy it. They can set their limits
Speaker 4: and quite honestly, if someone doesn't respect it, then you
Speaker 4: don't have to have them in your house.
Speaker 2: I want to give Bubby a standing ovation. That is
Speaker 2: such important advice because you can you can be consumed
Speaker 2: by this guilt of like, oh, I've got to oblige.
Speaker 2: I've got a people, please, I've got to let people
Speaker 2: come over and see. The baby doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: It's all about you, Okay, And that is absolutely key.
Speaker 1: Bubby, talk to me about gentle parenting. It's a term
Speaker 1: that I've heard over the last few years, getting an Irol.
Speaker 2: Let's get into everyone listening. We're getting an eyrol Bubby
Speaker 2: as my people. I can tell by her reaction to
Speaker 2: everything that we have talked about today.
Speaker 1: I just want to I want to give like a
Speaker 1: little background on this. So my parents were not gentle parents.
Speaker 1: They were very much throw you into the fire. I
Speaker 1: think at multiple points my father said to me, nobody
Speaker 1: cares about your feelings.
Speaker 3: What are the facts?
Speaker 1: Okay, so he was not a gentle parent. I'm really sensitive.
Speaker 1: I think I might have done well with a little
Speaker 1: more gentle parenting. And I can't figure out what the
Speaker 1: balance is.
Speaker 2: What's your take?
Speaker 3: Here's my issue with this.
Speaker 4: Gentle parenting is really that you don't raise your voice
Speaker 4: to your child.
Speaker 3: You certainly never raise a.
Speaker 4: Hand to your child, and you try to talk to
Speaker 4: your child about what's going on and their feelings and
Speaker 4: working it out.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 4: I think that's all well and good in theory, but
Speaker 4: a two year old that's upset and throwing a temper
Speaker 4: tantrum is not in any position to sit there and
Speaker 4: have an intellectual discussion about what their feelings are.
Speaker 3: So you have to take some of.
Speaker 4: The good parts of gentle parenting, but applied them appropriately.
Speaker 4: So if you have a child, a two year old
Speaker 4: who's having an absolute meltdown, let them melt down. They
Speaker 4: have to get those feelings out, and then maybe after
Speaker 4: they've calmed down, you can sit there and say, I
Speaker 4: know you were really upset, and that's why you know
Speaker 4: you were crying. You tell mommy what upset you and
Speaker 4: then try to talk about Well, maybe a better way
Speaker 4: to handle this would be if you had told mommy
Speaker 4: that you really wanted another cookie or whatever it was.
Speaker 4: But to do it in the heat of the moment
Speaker 4: is not going to work. A two year old is
Speaker 4: not going to be able to navigate that and have
Speaker 4: a full discussion on it.
Speaker 2: And also to try to do it whenever you're out
Speaker 2: in public and your kid is having a meltdown or
Speaker 2: causing a scene, I mean, it's just impossible. You've got
Speaker 2: to do what you've got to do in that moment. Obviously,
Speaker 2: I totally agree with you said not raising a hand
Speaker 2: to your child, and I also think a lot of
Speaker 2: this is dependent on the child. If you have a
Speaker 2: spicy child, gentle parenting is not going to work on
Speaker 2: that child. I think gentle parenting works well for gentle kids.
Speaker 2: But I think there are a lot of great things
Speaker 2: that have come out of it. I think all the
Speaker 2: intentionality around helping your kids become better communicators, helping them
Speaker 2: talk about their big feelings, that's great.
Speaker 3: You know, there is a.
Speaker 4: Lot to be said about that. Not that I think
Speaker 4: you need to toughend kids up, but you know, as
Speaker 4: a baby boomer parent, every kid was a winner, every
Speaker 4: kid got a trophy. I think we get we did
Speaker 4: a great disservice to our kids, and in fact, studies
Speaker 4: have shown that kids that have to do chores, kids
Speaker 4: that don't always get what they want, kids that have
Speaker 4: to work for something end up being much happier adults.
Speaker 4: I think you certainly want to respect your children's feelings.
Speaker 4: You always want to address that, and you want to
Speaker 4: do what you can to help your children understand. You
Speaker 4: know how to navigate the world. But I think giving
Speaker 4: into every whim is absolutely not.
Speaker 3: The way to do it.
Speaker 2: We have to help our kids adjust to the idea
Speaker 2: of failure and get comfortable with failure because I think
Speaker 2: failure is the only way to grow. You have to
Speaker 2: grow confidence.
Speaker 3: I think that's absolutely true.
Speaker 4: There's always been these different theories on how to do it,
Speaker 4: but the end result is really what you said. Kids
Speaker 4: have to learn failure. That's how they grow, and that's
Speaker 4: how they get motivated to succeed the next time. And
Speaker 4: I think every kid is a winner just doesn't work
Speaker 4: in the long run.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a bar, really is Bubby. You are filled
Speaker 2: with endless amounts of wisdom. Thank you so much for
Speaker 2: sharing some of it with us today. On the bright side, well,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3: I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: Bubby is a pediatrician turn content creator and she's on
Speaker 2: Instagram and TikTok as. Ask Bubby all.
Speaker 1: Right, bright side Besties, Grandma's give out some of the
Speaker 1: best advice of anybody that we know. So we're going
Speaker 1: to be doing a monthly advice segment with our very
Speaker 1: favorite grandmas.
Speaker 2: If you have a.
Speaker 1: Question or a conundrum or an amazing, Grandma. Hit us up,
Speaker 1: send us a voice memo or an email at Hello
Speaker 1: at the bright Side podcast dot com.
Speaker 2: We're back, Danielle. All that parenting advice got me thinking,
Speaker 2: I need to know more about how you grew up.
Speaker 2: I want to know about how you grew up too. Okay,
Speaker 2: I have an idea. Let's play a little this or
Speaker 2: that game so we can both get to know each
Speaker 2: other better in our upbringing styles. Okay, first question, did
Speaker 2: you have a curfew growing up? Or were you allowed
Speaker 2: to come and go as you pleased.
Speaker 1: I think I had a curfew that was like midnight
Speaker 1: in high school and then if I came home after
Speaker 1: I just had to let them know because my dad
Speaker 1: could not go to bed until my brother and I
Speaker 1: were in our beds, locked in the house.
Speaker 2: All he had anxiety about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he was big on safety. I think
Speaker 1: he was just nervous.
Speaker 2: Not your mom. Your mom wasn't that way.
Speaker 1: My mom passes out. She probably did care about safety
Speaker 1: but was too tired.
Speaker 2: My poor mom is the exact way your dad was.
Speaker 2: Could not sleep unless I was in the house in
Speaker 2: my bed And wait, did you have a curfew? Though
Speaker 2: I did have a curfew. I think it was like
Speaker 2: eleven or something. Yeah, definitely curfew. I mean, can't imagine
Speaker 2: a world in which a parent doesn't have a curfew
Speaker 2: for their kids, right.
Speaker 1: I had some friends who didn't have curfews, but I
Speaker 1: don't know if.
Speaker 3: That ended up.
Speaker 2: Well, where where are they now? Where are they now? Okay, allowance?
Speaker 1: Did you get a regular allowance or were you working
Speaker 1: a part time job to hustle up some extra cash.
Speaker 2: I think I got an allowance up until the point
Speaker 2: when I actually could get a part time job, and
Speaker 2: then I started working my first job. Danielle, Yeah, you're
Speaker 2: not going to believe this. This is wait, I want to
Speaker 2: guess this is stranger than fiction. What I was a
Speaker 2: I worked at a haunted corn maze in Memphis, Tennessee.
Speaker 2: A haunted corn maize. Yeah. It was a seasonal gig,
Speaker 2: and I worked in the concessions during daylight hours, but
Speaker 2: then when night fell, I dressed up as a zombie
Speaker 2: cheerleader and had to scare people out of a garbage can.
Speaker 2: At least you had a cute costume.
Speaker 1: Zombie cheerleader is probably the best out of all the
Speaker 1: options there.
Speaker 2: I get corn maze, it built character.
Speaker 1: My high school job was I was a dancer for
Speaker 1: bar and bought Mitzvah's for birthday parties. Get out, I
Speaker 1: got the crowd going. My friend was the DJ, and
Speaker 1: so he would hire like three of our friends and
Speaker 1: we were dancers.
Speaker 2: Do you still know any of the dances? Uh?
Speaker 1: No, they weren't like line dances. It's audio, so this
Speaker 1: is hard to explain. But they were just more like
Speaker 1: getting the crowd going, like pumping your fists.
Speaker 2: Okay, books are boys, Danielle. Did your parents stress education
Speaker 2: over dating or were you allowed to explore your options?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not gonna be boring, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: say both. Okay, my parents really valued education, still do.
Speaker 1: My grandmother was a teacher, my grandfather was a professor
Speaker 1: and a principal.
Speaker 2: Education was huge in our house.
Speaker 1: But my mom was always telling me to like go
Speaker 1: out and date, and she would she is like more
Speaker 1: fun than me, you know, So she was like.
Speaker 2: Go go be in high school, go live your life.
Speaker 1: But she wanted all the tea and I was always
Speaker 1: so private, I'd never tell her anything.
Speaker 2: I hit all my boyfriends, so I didn't date at
Speaker 2: all in high school. You weren't allowed or want to.
Speaker 2: It wasn't that I wasn't allowed, but I grew up
Speaker 2: in such a sheltered, conservative Christian house that my parents
Speaker 2: barely even talk to me about sex and relationships. So
Speaker 2: it was just a topic that didn't ever really come up.
Speaker 2: And also I moved around so much that I was
Speaker 2: like so awkward, and I was like really tall and
Speaker 2: gangly andlinky and awkward, that I just it never really happened,
Speaker 2: never really dating, never really happened for me. So but
Speaker 2: education has always been such a huge priority in my family,
Speaker 2: going back several generations. So I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I learned from my mom keeps talking about
Speaker 1: the story that you told about your grandmother.
Speaker 2: It's very clear that you.
Speaker 1: Come from a long line of really smart, thoughtful people.
Speaker 2: Thank you you too. Birthday bashes or birthday blues.
Speaker 1: Were you always having a big blowout birthday as a
Speaker 1: kid with all your friends or did you want something
Speaker 1: small and kind of you know, or did you want
Speaker 1: something small?
Speaker 2: I had some really fun, big blowout birthdays as a kid,
Speaker 2: And actually, you know what's funny when I think about
Speaker 2: the themes and the activities that I made my friends
Speaker 2: do I still do this to this day. Like, one
Speaker 2: of my fondest memories is this shaving cream fight birthday
Speaker 2: that I had with all my friends. So fun. It
Speaker 2: was so fun, and now I still love making my
Speaker 2: friends do like field day games and sloppy games. Danielle,
Speaker 2: you seem like you would just love that. I was
Speaker 2: gonna say, please, don't invite me to your birthday. I'll
Speaker 2: take you for dinner.
Speaker 1: I felt really actually lucky. I'm not a huge birthday
Speaker 1: person now, but when I was a kid, my mom
Speaker 1: always I grew up in Chicago, and almost all my
Speaker 1: family was in Chicago, and so we would do a
Speaker 1: friends party and then a family party. And so the
Speaker 1: family parties were my favorite because like grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts,
Speaker 1: everyone was together and I just felt like so loved,
Speaker 1: and so that's where I.
Speaker 2: Felt most comfortable. That's so sweet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really special. I didn't realize till later
Speaker 1: how special that was.
Speaker 2: Where do our birthdays go wrong? It seems like a
Speaker 2: lot of us bring birthday baggage into adulthood. But she
Speaker 2: did do a whole episode on birthday baggage. I would
Speaker 2: love to dig into it. Let's dive in I like
Speaker 2: that word birthday baggage. It's true Fiji or rated R.
Speaker 2: Did your parents heavily monitor what you watched on TV?
Speaker 2: Or could you press play on anything you wanted?
Speaker 1: My mom says that she made two errors as a mother.
Speaker 1: She said she didn't really teach us how to cook,
Speaker 1: which she regrets. And she took me to see Romey
Speaker 1: and Michelle's high school reunion when I was in kindergarten,
Speaker 1: and she looked around in kindergarten, yes, and she looked
Speaker 1: around and she was like, everyone here is much older.
Speaker 1: But I begged her for like for months. All I
Speaker 1: wanted to see was that movie.
Speaker 2: You begged your mother when you were in kindergarten. Yes,
Speaker 2: how is it even on your radar?
Speaker 1: I don't know. All of my friends were third children.
Speaker 1: I was the only firstborn, and so I think they
Speaker 1: were all like more ahead of the curve. Okay, And no,
Speaker 1: they let me. I watched Sopranos, I watched Sex in
Speaker 1: the City. I would like beg them to stay up
Speaker 1: and watch things.
Speaker 2: Okay, you did not have black mom. That's I'm gonna
Speaker 2: say about that. Your mom was super strict. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I couldn't read Harry Potter. You're kidding, could not read
Speaker 2: Harry Potter. It was witchcraft. This is incredible. This is
Speaker 2: a thing. Though. If you other people, they will come
Speaker 2: out of the woodwork when I'm talking about this. They
Speaker 2: will tell you this.
Speaker 1: So when did you start, because you're very pop culturally fluent,
Speaker 1: when did you start watching things?
Speaker 2: It's it's really funny because my mom was an actor,
Speaker 2: so she knows the benefit of the arts and of
Speaker 2: creative expression, but she still came from such a conservative
Speaker 2: background that she felt the need to be really strict
Speaker 2: about what I watched or what I took in. It
Speaker 2: was more religious than anything.
Speaker 1: In hindsight, Do you think any of it was valid? Like,
Speaker 1: do you think it was good that you were sheltered
Speaker 1: a bit?
Speaker 2: Not really? I mean I think you should. I think
Speaker 2: you should spare your kids from certain things that are
Speaker 2: like too sexually revealing or too mature for them. You
Speaker 2: don't want them having questions about things that they shouldn't
Speaker 2: have to question yet. But whatever, I turned out all right?
Speaker 2: You did.
Speaker 1: Also, it's kind of interesting because in Europe, like they
Speaker 1: sensor violence more and in America we censor like sexual
Speaker 1: stuff more. And I always think that it's interesting in
Speaker 1: terms of what we value or think is you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's the funny thing. Because I would go
Speaker 2: to at home, I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter,
Speaker 2: but then we would go to a friend's house from
Speaker 2: our church and they'd have Brave Heart on, you know,
Speaker 2: and it was extremely violent, but of course you can
Speaker 2: make an exception for that because of the themes in it.
Speaker 1: I guess I actually haven't thought about so much of
Speaker 1: this stuff in years.
Speaker 2: This was kind of interesting, you know, it really was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for the therapy session producers.
Speaker 2: Yes, our producers did a great job. I had to
Speaker 2: dig deep into the memory banks for this one. I
Speaker 2: keep thinking about Bubby's second act, Danielle, and how she
Speaker 2: became this TikTok star when she least expected it, and
Speaker 2: that makes me think of one of my favorite mantras,
Speaker 2: and that is it's never too late. It's powerful. It
Speaker 2: really is.
Speaker 1: It's a short sentence and it's powerful. After forty two years,
Speaker 1: she made the pivot. She was a pediatrician turned TikTok star,
Speaker 1: and it's really inspiring.
Speaker 2: There's no expiration date on second acts. Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we got to end on that. That's
Speaker 1: it for today's show, thanks to our partners at Airbnb.
Speaker 1: We'll be back tomorrow talking about the new Apple TV
Speaker 1: film Girls State, which documents the summer program where young
Speaker 1: women create a mock government. We're joined by co director
Speaker 1: Amanda McBain and one of the Girls State participants, future
Speaker 1: leader Emily Worthmore.
Speaker 2: Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts. You can find me Simone
Speaker 2: Voice at Simone Voice and.
Speaker 1: I'm Danielle Robe at Danielle Robe ro Ba.
Speaker 2: Y see you tomorrow