1
00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,720
Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Ren and I

2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:12,240
Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in scrubbing

3
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 1: in on a Tuesday. You will notice it is not

4
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,520
Speaker 1: Monday but Tuesday. It is in fact Tuesday. And I

5
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,720
Speaker 1: feel like we haven't done a podcast together in a

6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,400
Speaker 1: minute because I think the last time we did your

7
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,040
Speaker 1: skin like so beautiful. Thank you for saying that. I

8
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,400
Speaker 1: have been dying to get a facial for months and

9
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,600
Speaker 1: I finally got one, and she just does things to

10
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,879
Speaker 1: my skin that like no one else has ever been

11
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,120
Speaker 1: able to do. She just like cleans me out. It's

12
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,839
Speaker 1: like a colonic for my face. Yeah, I love that

13
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:45,960
Speaker 1: for that, I guess um. But yeah, honestly, the last

14
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,680
Speaker 1: time we did our yeah, because you weren't feeling well

15
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,760
Speaker 1: or something. Was that it no, no, no, sorry. I

16
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,440
Speaker 1: had Caitlin Bristow's podcast. I was on off the vine

17
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 1: immediately after, so I think I was like, I'm just

18
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,080
Speaker 1: gonna do it from here. But little did I know

19
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,920
Speaker 1: we would be separated for a week so long. I know,

20
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 1: I feel like I haven't seen each other. There's a

21
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,880
Speaker 1: lot to cover, and we have to get into the

22
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,800
Speaker 1: amazing race and what's going on with that? We need

23
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,720
Speaker 1: to get into the summer. I turned pretty because we

24
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:17,400
Speaker 1: have heated heated uh sides on that Mark's birthdays tomorrow.

25
00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,400
Speaker 1: There's it's just like a lot happening. There's a lot

26
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,440
Speaker 1: going on. Where do we begin? Should we start with

27
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,759
Speaker 1: the summer? I turn pretty well. Maybe I could get

28
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,880
Speaker 1: into that after the break because I feel as though

29
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,000
Speaker 1: we just have some housekeeping. So the reason why we

30
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,480
Speaker 1: didn't do a podcast yesterday is because Becca went to

31
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 1: this movie premiere and she invited Sonny and myself to

32
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:42,200
Speaker 1: be her guest. And in Becca fashion, I love you

33
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,960
Speaker 1: so much. Detail is not so good. Becca is not

34
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,319
Speaker 1: so good with the details. So she's like, oh, that's

35
00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,080
Speaker 1: gonna be Monday afternoon. It will be around one. I

36
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,040
Speaker 1: was like, perfect, this is perfect, you know because I

37
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,960
Speaker 1: normally can get to the podcast by noon on Mondays.

38
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,960
Speaker 1: I need to pull up thet I got the details

39
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,600
Speaker 1: the night before, and I was like, I'll never make

40
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,000
Speaker 1: it because I don't finish with Ryan Todada. I can't

41
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,120
Speaker 1: go go buy and pick up my dog anyway. Long

42
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,800
Speaker 1: story short, Sunny and I couldn't make it. And let

43
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,160
Speaker 1: me tell you, I haven't heard the end of it

44
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,040
Speaker 1: from Sunny, she is pissed. She's not talking to me

45
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,480
Speaker 1: right now. She was really excited about her Red carpet debut.

46
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 1: She was looking forward to it, and she was like, Mom,

47
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 1: this was my big break and you ruined it for me.

48
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,160
Speaker 1: You need to really like look at your priorities. So

49
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,440
Speaker 1: you know, I'm taking a hard look. So what actually

50
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,359
Speaker 1: happened is that I invited her and I said it's

51
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 1: at twelve. I said it's at noon. There was no

52
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,720
Speaker 1: one o'clock, there was no vague afternoon. I have the

53
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,080
Speaker 1: text right here, it's at twelve noon in Westwood, So

54
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,320
Speaker 1: details are right clear. Hold on, but in now, and

55
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,520
Speaker 1: like when premieres happened, you say noon, that's like the carpet.

56
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,200
Speaker 1: So the carpet usually goes on for like an hour

57
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 1: before the event. So and in my mind, so this

58
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,040
Speaker 1: is not your fault. In my mind, I'm thinking we'll

59
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,680
Speaker 1: show up at noon for the carpet and then the

60
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,920
Speaker 1: movie starts, probably like one or one thirty. Well, so

61
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,880
Speaker 1: I get the details of like arrival time because because

62
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,160
Speaker 1: they were everyone was allowed to bring their dogs. Obviously

63
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,880
Speaker 1: this was a different type of premiere and they were

64
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,040
Speaker 1: a little more, you know, details that we had to

65
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,760
Speaker 1: sort out, and timing needed to be precise because they

66
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,800
Speaker 1: were walking the dogs on the carpet. It was hilarious,

67
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,880
Speaker 1: and so I sent in her my little spreadsheet I

68
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,320
Speaker 1: got when I got it and was like, here, I

69
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 1: have to be there. My call time for Phoebe is

70
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,040
Speaker 1: at eleven ten, so it's early, and she's like, there's

71
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,239
Speaker 1: no way I'll make it. I'm like, sorry about that

72
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,000
Speaker 1: movie starts at twelve. I'm just kidding. I'm just passing

73
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:36,120
Speaker 1: along what I have. So she, you know, ends up

74
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,640
Speaker 1: saying she's not gonna be able to go. So we

75
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,040
Speaker 1: end up going to the premiere and it is hilarious.

76
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,120
Speaker 1: Like so the movie was um, Paus of Fury. I

77
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:50,040
Speaker 1: thought it was Paulsive Fury, which paulsi Fury and Um.

78
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 1: They put all the dogs in like a black suv

79
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 1: and then drove around like made the looper on the

80
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,360
Speaker 1: parking lot and then let them get out, and they

81
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,920
Speaker 1: hired people to be like cheering papara toe on the carpet.

82
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,800
Speaker 1: And it was the funniest thing because Phoebe had on

83
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 1: a dress, which she never wears clothes. I was shocked.

84
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,880
Speaker 1: She wore clothes, and she was like going up to

85
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,040
Speaker 1: the people acting like they were her fans, like like

86
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,560
Speaker 1: going up and letting them pet her as if she

87
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,200
Speaker 1: were an actor, like touching their hands. Do you understand,

88
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,840
Speaker 1: Like nothing makes me happier than stuff like this, Like

89
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,599
Speaker 1: I like, I would have been thriving at this place.

90
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she would have been like it it

91
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,640
Speaker 1: was made for you. And I know as a stage mall,

92
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 1: I know. No, Well, we only saw one get out

93
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,880
Speaker 1: before before us, because Ali ended up coming in her

94
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,080
Speaker 1: dog Brooks. He wore a little Hawaiian shirt and and

95
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,080
Speaker 1: so there was this dog. You know, I can't I

96
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,120
Speaker 1: don't know that the actual title of the dog, but

97
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,200
Speaker 1: the mop looking dogs. You know, he got out before us,

98
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,080
Speaker 1: and he could tell he had been in the business

99
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 1: for a minute. He went straight to the carpet was

100
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 1: you know he was. I know, Sonny would have just

101
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:05,560
Speaker 1: been totally in her element, Like I missed. Need to

102
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,640
Speaker 1: prioritize pitch. We'll pitch Sonny for other dog movies. But um,

103
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,560
Speaker 1: when we went into the theater, like we went into

104
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,840
Speaker 1: the theater and all that there was like so many

105
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,599
Speaker 1: people with their dogs. It was really cute. It was

106
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,080
Speaker 1: a really funny event. I'm genuinely sad that you missed it.

107
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,119
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely sad too. Um So that was really fun

108
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,440
Speaker 1: and some other over the weekend. This might be a

109
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,680
Speaker 1: bigger topic. I don't know, Maybe we can get into it.

110
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,040
Speaker 1: But Haley and I watched her three year old niece

111
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,960
Speaker 1: like like, her parents went out of town and we

112
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:43,640
Speaker 1: were the parents for three days. My god parents so

113
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:48,839
Speaker 1: much respect. I realized so much about myself, and I

114
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,320
Speaker 1: think Hayley did too. But I I love kids, like

115
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,599
Speaker 1: I'm very naturally drawn to kids. I'm very good with kids.

116
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,839
Speaker 1: I love I love babies. But I realized the really

117
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,440
Speaker 1: crucial part is being able to give them back, you know, yeah,

118
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,560
Speaker 1: like not having to deal with like the not so

119
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:12,719
Speaker 1: fun parts, like the crying and the like going potty

120
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:17,920
Speaker 1: and all those things. I realized I took a deep,

121
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 1: deep look into my soul and my desires and and

122
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:26,000
Speaker 1: what I always thought I wanted versus what I thought

123
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:29,120
Speaker 1: what I'm supposed to do according to like society's like

124
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,680
Speaker 1: next steps or whatever. A lot of people are having

125
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,599
Speaker 1: this epiphany. I literally was just talking about it, really yeah.

126
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,719
Speaker 1: I think I was talking to Mark about it. Yes,

127
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,520
Speaker 1: we had a good discussion this morning because Tany has

128
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,479
Speaker 1: a birthday coming up soon and it's milestone ish. Yeah,

129
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,360
Speaker 1: it's not milestone, but it's like thirty five. Thirty five

130
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,039
Speaker 1: is not thirty four, you know what I mean. It's

131
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,440
Speaker 1: just not. It's just not. It's just not. And so

132
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,880
Speaker 1: it's making me like, really take this hard, look at

133
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,400
Speaker 1: you know what I want. I always thought I wanted

134
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,560
Speaker 1: like a boatload of kids, and now you know what

135
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,040
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, I'm I'm getting older, Like you know,

136
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 1: Mom's back is hurting. Yeah, also my back is hurting

137
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,160
Speaker 1: too at thirty five, Like what's gonna happen at forty

138
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,240
Speaker 1: five and fifty five? You know, like I gotta pick

139
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:13,200
Speaker 1: these kids. You're you're sure you want kids one day? Yeah,

140
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,960
Speaker 1: I definitely want like at least a kid, I think,

141
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,600
Speaker 1: which is a big change because you used to be

142
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,320
Speaker 1: like you want four kids and it all planned out. Not. Yeah,

143
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,720
Speaker 1: but I was also like gonna get married at twenty three,

144
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:28,240
Speaker 1: you know, knocked up at twenty four, knocked out. Well,

145
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:34,560
Speaker 1: but here's okay. This was the conversation and really romantic

146
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,280
Speaker 1: in that way. This is the conversation Haley and I

147
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:42,480
Speaker 1: were having. Why do people where I guess my thought

148
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,440
Speaker 1: process and I am not I know this is a

149
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,080
Speaker 1: very sensitive topic. And this is a very sensitive topic

150
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:53,200
Speaker 1: for both people who maybe our parents and also for

151
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,160
Speaker 1: people who want to be parents. And maybe it's been

152
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,840
Speaker 1: hard to conceive. So I don't want to be insensitive,

153
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,080
Speaker 1: but I'm asking this from a perspective of someone in

154
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:06,000
Speaker 1: my position, What are the prose of having a child?

155
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,960
Speaker 1: Like what makes you? Why do you want a child?

156
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,440
Speaker 1: Because I'm very nurturing, Like, imagine you know how I

157
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,640
Speaker 1: am a Sonny I can't imagine, Like I love her

158
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,320
Speaker 1: so much and she feels like she literally makes my

159
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,400
Speaker 1: day so like she makes my life so full of love.

160
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,680
Speaker 1: Could you imagine a child your own flesh and blood?

161
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,480
Speaker 1: Like do you know how much joy that's gonna bring you?

162
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 1: You're not going to even think about the like sleeplessness

163
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,720
Speaker 1: and the like running around. I don't think that's I

164
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:36,000
Speaker 1: think that's a very romanticized view of the situation. You think,

165
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,559
Speaker 1: so I do because and this is what I'm I

166
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,360
Speaker 1: was telling Haley this because she goes. I just don't

167
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:48,720
Speaker 1: know if anyone genuinely enjoys being a parent. I don't

168
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 1: know I disagree with that because, like Haley, I gave

169
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,280
Speaker 1: her the example she loves to work like she loves working,

170
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,839
Speaker 1: you know, if she didn't have a girlfriend who needed

171
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:03,640
Speaker 1: attention like she would through the long days. But there

172
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,439
Speaker 1: are people who just love being a parent and love

173
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,680
Speaker 1: doing the things that you do as a parent, the good,

174
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,760
Speaker 1: the bad, the ugly, all of it. But what I'm

175
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:17,160
Speaker 1: realizing is people are finally being honest about like, of

176
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:21,560
Speaker 1: course I have immeasurable joy with this child, and also

177
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,160
Speaker 1: it's really really hard, and it's really challenging, and there

178
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,040
Speaker 1: are times where I miss my old life. I miss

179
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:32,480
Speaker 1: like the sleep and the freedom and doing whatever I want. Mark,

180
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,200
Speaker 1: you can weigh in here as you are the only

181
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,640
Speaker 1: person in this group that has children. But I am

182
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 1: curious what what are you stand on that. I mean,

183
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,280
Speaker 1: my kids are sixteen and thirteen, so I mean teenagers,

184
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,560
Speaker 1: home stretch, all that stuff. Um, I think that I

185
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,800
Speaker 1: don't love every element of it, but I wouldn't trade

186
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 1: it for anything. My life before kids, I don't really remember.

187
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,679
Speaker 1: I don't know what I did with all that time, right,

188
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:05,080
Speaker 1: I don't really I have a hard time remembering what

189
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,120
Speaker 1: my day to day was before I had kids, that's

190
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,559
Speaker 1: how much of a dad I am. Um. But I

191
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,679
Speaker 1: wouldn't I wouldn't want to go back to that, and

192
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,840
Speaker 1: I'm not looking forward to going back to that when

193
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,880
Speaker 1: they're off in the world. I don't know how to

194
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,280
Speaker 1: describe it. I don't know how to describe the joy

195
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:23,640
Speaker 1: of it. But the joy definitely outweighs the downsides. Yeah,

196
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,520
Speaker 1: I think so too. And you know what's funny. I

197
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,800
Speaker 1: was so we were working on our July goals and

198
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 1: one of my July goals was to work out three

199
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,320
Speaker 1: times a week. And I was sitting there and I

200
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,960
Speaker 1: was reading it. I was like, isn't this so crazy

201
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,559
Speaker 1: that that my goal is to work out three times

202
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,720
Speaker 1: a week? I used to work out seven days a week,

203
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 1: for one hour, every single day, seven days a week

204
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,960
Speaker 1: for years. Like this wasn't just like a flash in

205
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,200
Speaker 1: the pan. This was like my life, like a like

206
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:52,559
Speaker 1: a you know, you know, clicking an outcow and uh

207
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,800
Speaker 1: and Red Star was just like, yeah, you know, but

208
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 1: now you have a relationship, you have you know, I

209
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,760
Speaker 1: have his two kids and I have a dog, and

210
00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,839
Speaker 1: it's a whole different there's a whole different set of

211
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,000
Speaker 1: responsibilities that come with that you know what I mean,

212
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,040
Speaker 1: and you don't think about it. You don't realize what's

213
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,160
Speaker 1: happening until you're like in it and you're like, WHOA,

214
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 1: I can't believe I used to like work out a

215
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,199
Speaker 1: full hour every single day, seven days a week without

216
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 1: a break. Yeah, so you're saying like once you have.

217
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,719
Speaker 1: And also I will say, I know it's different when

218
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,040
Speaker 1: it's your own child, Like I I know that there's

219
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,600
Speaker 1: like I don't really like dealing with other people's dogs,

220
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,480
Speaker 1: but I'll do anything for Phoebe. So like, I to

221
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:37,560
Speaker 1: a degree understand that that um thought process of everyone

222
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,360
Speaker 1: says that, like, it's so different when it's your child.

223
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,800
Speaker 1: I agree, But what you're saying is like, and what

224
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,120
Speaker 1: Mark saying is, once you get to a certain point,

225
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,360
Speaker 1: you can't remember life the life that you had before then,

226
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,360
Speaker 1: and you wouldn't necessarily want to go back. It's just different.

227
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,160
Speaker 1: But I do think it's better, not well it was

228
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,920
Speaker 1: better worse, but waiting, I'm like, I'm so glad that

229
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,360
Speaker 1: I that when I thought I wanted to have kids

230
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,000
Speaker 1: and I didn't, because I know myself so much better

231
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,360
Speaker 1: now and I feel like I've lived so much life

232
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,600
Speaker 1: and um, I just think I'm going to be a

233
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,560
Speaker 1: better parent altogether now than I would at Yeah, for

234
00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,840
Speaker 1: me personally, yeah, I think you haven't gone through it.

235
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,440
Speaker 1: It prevents me from judging anybody because there is enough

236
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,439
Speaker 1: downside that if somebody says I'm not sure I'm into that,

237
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, okay, cool, you know, like it's

238
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,600
Speaker 1: not for everybody. Parenthood and and and a parenthood. And

239
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,440
Speaker 1: I probably before we had kids, I would have been like,

240
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,199
Speaker 1: what what you don't want to what? What's the purpose

241
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,080
Speaker 1: of being here? What are you gonna do with the

242
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,280
Speaker 1: rest of Like what? That's that was my mindset before

243
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,040
Speaker 1: a Now that I had kids, I'm like, yeah, it's

244
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,640
Speaker 1: great and I love it. But if somebody doesn't want

245
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,600
Speaker 1: to do it, cool, you know, whatever you want to do. See,

246
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,480
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. And I also think I used to

247
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,200
Speaker 1: have that mentality to like, why wouldn't you want to

248
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,280
Speaker 1: have kids? Like what's the purpose of life without having

249
00:12:54,400 --> 00:13:00,440
Speaker 1: children creating humans that are uh, contributing to the society.

250
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,440
Speaker 1: But um, the one thing I will say is that

251
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: Haley and I were an amazing team. So if it

252
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,439
Speaker 1: ever came to making that decision, we became closer as

253
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,640
Speaker 1: opposed to like butting heads, which I was surprised. I

254
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,280
Speaker 1: was surprised by that because I wasn't sure like how

255
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,559
Speaker 1: even just how we are like navigating Phoebe sometimes I'm

256
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,199
Speaker 1: like mm hmm. But she was a lot more patient

257
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,600
Speaker 1: in areas that I'm not, um, And then I was

258
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,080
Speaker 1: a lot more of the disciplinary and than she Like

259
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 1: she got worked, she got taken advantage of, and I

260
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,480
Speaker 1: finally was like, Haley, tell her no, and she was like,

261
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,320
Speaker 1: I know, I'm scared of her. I was like, let

262
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,480
Speaker 1: her cry the tantrum last thirty seconds and she's onto

263
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,440
Speaker 1: the next thing, Like it's that easy. Um. So to

264
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:51,920
Speaker 1: all the parents out there, you have my utmost respectum.

265
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,600
Speaker 1: And to the people who are also questioning it, I'm

266
00:13:56,679 --> 00:14:02,839
Speaker 1: right there, Eastern, I'm right there on you know, Yeah,

267
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,120
Speaker 1: life is a non breeder is pretty great. Yeah, but

268
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,840
Speaker 1: it's such like it's such a mind trip, because like

269
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 1: I was saying, I don't know if I when I

270
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 1: was talking to you, when I got my eggs checked,

271
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 1: they were basically like, okay, so yeah, you're, you know,

272
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,760
Speaker 1: pretty fertile. If you want to have a kid by

273
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 1: thirty seven, naturally you should be good and then but

274
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,960
Speaker 1: he was like, but if if you don't, then I

275
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,440
Speaker 1: would look at freezing your eggs thirty five. And now

276
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I've been now thirty five, so do

277
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 1: I freeze my eggs? And then I'm thinking do I

278
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 1: want to freeze my egg I don't really want to

279
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,640
Speaker 1: do it? Like then am I going to regret if

280
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,040
Speaker 1: I don't do it? So I'm like, my whole life

281
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,400
Speaker 1: right now is focused on thinking about the future and

282
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,400
Speaker 1: not living in the present. So I'm like taking away

283
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,800
Speaker 1: my joy of my day being so preoccupied with the

284
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,120
Speaker 1: future when I need to just like chill and you

285
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 1: have a whole year of thirty five. You didn't say

286
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,360
Speaker 1: right when you thirty five? You know what I'm saying

287
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 1: pretty geriatric? Yeah, that they are pretty dramatic. The way

288
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,760
Speaker 1: that like, that's that's the part that sucks for women

289
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,080
Speaker 1: is that you are on a time like just you

290
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,560
Speaker 1: are on a time crunch that you don't have control over.

291
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 1: You know, like that's stressful and there is that that

292
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,560
Speaker 1: element that makes it a little more puts a little

293
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:13,920
Speaker 1: more pressure on the situation. But um, yeah, wow, what

294
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,360
Speaker 1: a what I would ride? Becca had a ride. I

295
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,960
Speaker 1: also realized like cleaning up pe and stuff. I was

296
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,120
Speaker 1: just like, oh, and I know, yeah, she's like, well,

297
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 1: she was actually really good about like potty training, but

298
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,080
Speaker 1: she has a little you know, they have like little

299
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,720
Speaker 1: toilets and you have to like they be it and

300
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 1: then you pour it out just like you know kids stuff.

301
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:41,760
Speaker 1: But um, but then there's like and then there was

302
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,440
Speaker 1: moments where she was napping and then as soon as

303
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 1: on the monitor she was awake. I was so excited

304
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,960
Speaker 1: to go and get her and be like good morning,

305
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 1: you know, say hey to her. So I I get

306
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,720
Speaker 1: the like ebb and flow of I got a tiny

307
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 1: glimpse into the ebb and flow of parents. You know

308
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,560
Speaker 1: who posted something very like I thought it to be

309
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 1: so pre found and it's like not profound at all,

310
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:07,160
Speaker 1: but hold on. Sometimes the most profound it's the most simple.

311
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,320
Speaker 1: Shane Mitchell posted this, and I found it to be amazing.

312
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,760
Speaker 1: She said life is amazing, and then it's awful, and

313
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 1: then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and

314
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 1: the awful, it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breath then

315
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: the amazing. Hold on through the awful and relax an

316
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:27,720
Speaker 1: exhale during the ordinary that's just living, heartbreaking, soul, healing, amazing, awful,

317
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 1: ordinary life, and it's breathtakingly beautiful. Why didn't you like it?

318
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 1: And I thought I thought I did. I don't know.

319
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:40,320
Speaker 1: She didn't like it, I didn't like Yeah, Yeah, it's true.

320
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 1: I mean I think if everything was just always blissfully amazing,

321
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,880
Speaker 1: we would never appreciate it, And if everything was horrible,

322
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 1: we want it. What's the point. Yeah, that's a good quote.

323
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,240
Speaker 1: And also when things are mundane, it's to notice the

324
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 1: amazing things in life. A sunset or a hug from

325
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 1: your kid or whatever it is, there's stuff within them

326
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 1: in vane that you can really get great joy out of. Yeah. Oh,

327
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,199
Speaker 1: and the other thing that we talked about was like

328
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,720
Speaker 1: I was saying, maybe if if my life had gone

329
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 1: in a different direction, and maybe if I didn't have

330
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,520
Speaker 1: the you know, ability and financial freedom to travel and

331
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,879
Speaker 1: to do things and to experience things, maybe that life

332
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,879
Speaker 1: of like have being a mom would would appeal to

333
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,959
Speaker 1: me more. But I think in my life I'm just

334
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,679
Speaker 1: too selfish. Like I love being able to sleep in

335
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 1: and I love having my own schedule and being able

336
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,560
Speaker 1: to travel whenever I want to. So I think it's

337
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 1: just like maybe if my life had looked different, my

338
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,199
Speaker 1: desires would would be different at this point. But it

339
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,679
Speaker 1: was fascinating, it was like interesting and um, it was

340
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,440
Speaker 1: very introspective in a really hilarious way. Like there were

341
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 1: some really funny moments and we were like, that would

342
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 1: be a great TV show to watch, just like people

343
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,480
Speaker 1: who were on the fence watching a kid in their

344
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 1: life for a weekend and like panning back and forth

345
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,920
Speaker 1: to the parents on vacation. Not that they can change

346
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 1: their life because they have a child, but good stuff,

347
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:15,120
Speaker 1: good stuff. So, speaking of TV shows, Yeah, we're gonna

348
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,200
Speaker 1: come right back and we're gonna get into the great debate.

349
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:22,159
Speaker 1: Great teaser, Tanya. You know Tanya, she's a teaser, sharp

350
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 1: as attack, and we'll be right back. Okay, we are back.

351
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 1: And so Tanya, what was the thing with the amazing right?

352
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they posted like that there was casting. A

353
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,399
Speaker 1: scrawber posted that they were casting. So I reposted it

354
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,639
Speaker 1: and then like, uh, I posted Becca and Red Stars

355
00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 1: responses on my Instagram story. CBS like reposted it and

356
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 1: then they tagged amazing race. So I feel like this

357
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 1: has legs and I don't know when to say like,

358
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:12,640
Speaker 1: let's go. I love this. It's exciting, and I I feel

359
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 1: like they'd be silly not to take former Bachelor contestant

360
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 1: Beckett Tilly and best friend's boyfriend along on the amazing race.

361
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 1: It's a great pairing, it's a great storyline. It's a

362
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 1: great storyline. And even better storyline would be like would

363
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: it be comical to be you and Robbie versus me

364
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 1: and Haley? No? I want nothing to do with this

365
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 1: great this race, this great, this is a great race.

366
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want anybody yelling at me to

367
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 1: get into an airplane. I don't want anybody yelling at

368
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 1: me because I don't know my northeast, south and west.

369
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: Like I am going to be a better cheerleader from

370
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 1: the seats, so I'm gonna cheer on. If you want

371
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 1: to be Haley's partner, you can be Haley's partner. If

372
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,440
Speaker 1: you don't want red Star, that's fine. But I can't.

373
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 1: I can't go in. But it's just not me. This

374
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 1: is a This is how I feel too, Like if

375
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,400
Speaker 1: Haley I could do it well and I knew that

376
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 1: we I just know myself. I am so competitive. I

377
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 1: feel like Robbie and I could literally scream at each

378
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: other and there will just be no like like maybe

379
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 1: I'd be like, don't even look at me tonight, and

380
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,439
Speaker 1: then the next day and be like, hey, we're ready

381
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 1: to go. But that's the thing like I couldn't handle.

382
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,919
Speaker 1: I know. I wouldn't be able to do that with Haley,

383
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't be able to just like get over

384
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 1: if she yelled at me, or she wouldn't be able

385
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 1: to get over if I yelled at her. I would

386
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 1: hate it. But I think I think Robbie and I

387
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: could could fight and do well do people fight on

388
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 1: that show? It's so good, It's so high, it's so

389
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 1: high stress. And the thing I would be most stressed

390
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 1: about is not having like consistent showers like that really

391
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 1: stresses me out and sleep. But otherwise, yeah, that's I

392
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: think there's a lot more downtime than you think, you know,

393
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 1: because they showed those air airplane rights. They look like

394
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 1: they're about ten seconds long, and they're like twelve hours.

395
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: You know, I think there's more. You'll get more sleep

396
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,439
Speaker 1: than you expect, That's what I would guess. Yeah, but

397
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: I can't. I don't sleep on planes. Well, that could

398
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: be a problem. For saying I think that you all

399
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 1: leave at the same time in the morning, So I

400
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 1: think if you get there, and I'm not sure exactly

401
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: I haven't Washington peers, but I think there's more downtime

402
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 1: than you think. I need to talk to someone who's

403
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 1: been on the show and get like the inside scoop

404
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 1: on what it's really like to see if if this

405
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: is something that I because nothing would destroy my confidence

406
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:30,920
Speaker 1: and ego more than being the first to go home. Still,

407
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: I think you should go in blind. Honestly, I think

408
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: you and Robbie should just do it. Like I'm so

409
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: down to be your biggest cheerleader, Like I will make

410
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: shirts team whatever we come up with a team name.

411
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 1: I will like cold call people if you need votes,

412
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 1: like I don't know what there's no killing, but like

413
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: I will be your number one cheerleader. I'm gonna steer

414
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: the ship. I just I don't know when to start steering,

415
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 1: Like I need somebody to be like, let's go. Wait. Also,

416
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: if there was voting, though, I do feel like we

417
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 1: could really win because when I know the scrubbers could

418
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: do that, there's no voting, Well, it's just us performing really,

419
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: so so if anybody works at casting for Amazing Race,

420
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 1: send me a d M and tell me how I

421
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 1: should do this the best way. What do you have

422
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 1: to do? Do you have to submit a video? Now?

423
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: How does it work? No clue, I don't I don't

424
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 1: really know. Well, I think all those shows are kind

425
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 1: of the same, like just different. There's different avenues of

426
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: of casting. You know, you're the street. You probably don't

427
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 1: have to make a video. If they want, I could

428
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,239
Speaker 1: probably like send them pictures of your basketball skills, some

429
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: maybe his ping pong playing. Do they care about that?

430
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: I don't know if those specifically would be interesting, but

431
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: maybe like we go film us like skydiving or something.

432
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: You guys skydive on that show. Oh they're doing like

433
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,199
Speaker 1: dangerous things, like we probably would have to sign a

434
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 1: waiver that like signed our life away. I actually think

435
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 1: The Bachelor, I'm telling you watch it. It's so good.

436
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: I promise. If you what was the show you randomly

437
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 1: got into that, we were all, oh my gosh, at Cake, No,

438
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: that's very show. It's a great show of your life.

439
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: By the way, Also, if anybody that works at is

440
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 1: it cake Works? That is it cake? Let we go

441
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: on into please please I did. I We've talked about this.

442
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 1: I didn't like the structure of that show, with different strokes,

443
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 1: different folks. That's true. Okay, well we'll wait to hear

444
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: hear what happens. Yeah, and then the meantime we can

445
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,719
Speaker 1: talk about a different show, which is The Bachelor. Summer

446
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: I turned out pretty oh yeah yeah, very different, very

447
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,640
Speaker 1: different shows. So let's just get it out there. Whose

448
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 1: team are you on? Okay, this isn't this isn't very

449
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,640
Speaker 1: clear for me. It's very one or the other. It's

450
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: not because you're Jeremiah or your team reading the book

451
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 1: and it's different in the book. Okay, well off of

452
00:23:54,960 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 1: the TV series, of the TV series. I love Jeremiah,

453
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: and I think Jeremiah is who I would go for,

454
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: But I think for Belly, I'm team Conrad. So team

455
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: Conrad is where you are. I'm Team Jeremiah. And let

456
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: me explain to you why. Okay, the Team Conrad people

457
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: out there, really take a look at yourself, right, do

458
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 1: you enjoy the chase? Do you enjoy waking up and

459
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 1: wondering does my partner love me today or do they

460
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: not love me today? Or do you enjoy the the

461
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 1: unstability of walking through sand under your feet, or would

462
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: you rather have a hard cement ground to walk on?

463
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 1: So okay, so you're saying that Jeremiah, who has hooked

464
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: up with boys and girls all summer long and has

465
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 1: talked about his freedom of hooking up with girls and

466
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 1: boys all summer long, is hard, solid ground. He's never

467
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: toyed with Belly like Conrad has. You never know what

468
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: kind of Conrad you're gonna get. You never know how

469
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: he's you, never know what's going on. Is he gonna

470
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: give her her birthday present? No, Jeremiah shows up, He's

471
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: got a birthday present. He's smiling, taking her to the

472
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: airport to pick up her best friend for her birthday.

473
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: He's happy he's there. Con Conrad is a question Mark

474
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: got her something so thoughtful, and it just didn't feel

475
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 1: like it was the time that it was going to

476
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: be worth giving it to her. Also, yeah, okay, okay, Jeremiah,

477
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: do you think he's the solid choice, safe choice? Do

478
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 1: you like the safe choice steady Eddie if you like

479
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: to call him, what steady Eddie? Okay, steady Eddie. Steady

480
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: Eddie didn't seem interested in Belly until she until he

481
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 1: saw that she was interested in somebody else. So you're

482
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: telling me, okay, okay, that no, I didn't interrupted thing,

483
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: that I didn't interrupt you stupidest. Uh point, You're all

484
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 1: we're all not interesting. Thank you so much, thank you, Mark.

485
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 1: So what you're telling me, if the Team Jeremiah people,

486
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: you're saying that you would like someone who only wants

487
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: you as soon as you're into somebody else. He only

488
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: really likes the chase because that's what Jeremiah wanted. He

489
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: wanted the challenge of Belly because he knew she was

490
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: into somebody else. However, Conrad, throughout all the flashbacks you see,

491
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: was so sweet and loving and kind to Belly because

492
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 1: he loves her. But he's literally he was carrying the

493
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 1: weight of spoiler spoiler alert alert. I'm giving a spoiler

494
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: alert so that they can skip. He was carrying the

495
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 1: weight of the information of his mom being sick and

496
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: didn't have anyone to turn to. He's eighteen, or however

497
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 1: old he is. His dad cheated on his mom. He

498
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: is carrying a lot as an eight year old boy

499
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 1: who's also in love with his best friend, who who

500
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 1: he didn't have the capacity to give to her. Let

501
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: me tell you something. We all don't like somebody until

502
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: we like them. That argument is so like. No, I

503
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 1: feel like you're so against that in every other podcast,

504
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: like Hayley. You didn't like Hayley until you liked her.

505
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: She existed, she was in the world, and I've always

506
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: liked your your This is not a compared that was

507
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: it not an equal comparison. I've never seen this show,

508
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 1: and I agree with Becca. I'll tell you that right now.

509
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 1: What just a more rational argument than the other one

510
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: talking about mine' so rational? I love Jeremiah and Ration

511
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: now I'm I'm rooting for Jo. I love Jeremiah, and

512
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: I think I think the show is so perfectly casted.

513
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: But Belly loves Conrad like she will never fully be

514
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: able to get give Jeremiah John Mayer. But is he

515
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 1: a better partner for me? No? Absolutely not. Yeah, exactly,

516
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: those are not the same time, are terrible spot on.

517
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: You don't love Jo, you love Jeremiah. If your team Jeremiah,

518
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: then you know Belly would never be able to give

519
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: him what he wanted or deserved Jeremiah. Yeah, because Belly

520
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: loves Conrad. That's what she thinks. Everyone should know that

521
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: Tanya has removed the microphone from the cradle when is

522
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: sitting back in her chair to really get into this,

523
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: because I don't understand that you're I'm like I and

524
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: my choice is the is makes the most sense. Well,

525
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: let the scrubbers decide. Yeah, what an argument at the end,

526
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: it makes the most sense. No, Jeremiah is he's fun,

527
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: he's sweet, he's the best friend. But he's not He's

528
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: there's no, He's not a heartbreaker. Conrad is not a heartbreaker.

529
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: Conrad is like navigating broken her heart once? Why what

530
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: making out with her and like leading her on and

531
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: then saying I can't do with this. You already broke

532
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: her heart ones how many times you want him to

533
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 1: do it? Before he was like a side Now more

534
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: this he's saying, I cannot. I want to be able

535
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: to love you, but I can't because there's too much

536
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: going on in my life and I want to do

537
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: it the right way, but I can't give you that

538
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: right now. You know what people say here we go,

539
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: strap in, strap in for what people say, right person,

540
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 1: wrong time is just the wrong person. You literally wait, you,

541
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 1: you of all people are saying this, that's right, So okay,

542
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: So you and Robbie. Okay, so oh sorry, okay, we're

543
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: going back. You and Red Star had a relationship and

544
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: at the time things were just not working. Something was

545
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 1: not working. So y'all had what reference as the trigger event. Yeah, wrong,

546
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: wrong time, wrong time. However, he knew it was the

547
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: wrong time. He knew he met me too early on,

548
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: but he knew you were the right person. That was

549
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: the wrong time, but he was, he was exactly what

550
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm trying to know. He was the right person at

551
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: the wrong time, the wrong per Yes, your argument you

552
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: are the wrong person for him. No, No, because no,

553
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: because it was the wrong time, but he made at

554
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: the right time. He's like, I'm not letting you go

555
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 1: because you are the person for me. So I'm just

556
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: going to work through all this stuff and I'm not

557
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: letting you go like Conrad was trying to do. He

558
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: didn't just yeah, what happened, He worked through stuff out. Yes,

559
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: he worked through the stuff. No, because they made out

560
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: a week before then he said, woke up the next

561
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: day and said I can't do it, and then it

562
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: ended with them working it out on the beach. It

563
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: sucks to get defeated. Defeated, and I do have to say,

564
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: I do have to say I have a thing with whoever.

565
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: I don't know what the word is or the verbi

566
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: verbiage for the job the person who puts the music

567
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 1: to the sound to this, to the to the shows.

568
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: Because every time Conrad and her had like a romantic moment,

569
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift would play in the background. Every single time,

570
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: It's like, you know what this feels sexist? Isn't the word?

571
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: What's the word? Preferenced? Biased? Biased? Thank you? The soundtrack

572
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: as a whole was just absolutely incredible. Yeah, it's really good.

573
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: Every song. I was like, why didn't Jeremiah get any

574
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift songs? I mean, this is a like fictional show, right,

575
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 1: It's not like a game show or something. Do they

576
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: get equal opportunity to have in the background? No, because

577
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 1: I think whoever that person in that role is is

578
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: clearly team Conrad. Is that like the music producer? Is

579
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: that something like that? Um music editor. I'm looking forward

580
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: to Crystal's video of this because running on her chair

581
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: with an indignant look on her face is going to

582
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: be hilarious. I just like that she basically repeated every

583
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: point that I was trying to make just in her

584
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: own way, but all the points led back to my

585
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: original point, which which is the way to go. M Okay, okay,

586
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: you can still like Jeremiah, but you're wrong, not wrong.

587
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: Your argument doesn't hold its built that makes sense to

588
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: anybody else For me, well, I'm sure there will be

589
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: scrubbers who agree with you, but I think your argument

590
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: is built on the sand and mine is built on

591
00:32:54,800 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: a steady surface. That was the impression I had as

592
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 1: someone who's never seen the show. You know what, Mark,

593
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: you also have a bias here, Okay, bias towards Becca. Yeah,

594
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: that's heard me. No, we talked today. How long have

595
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: we known each other? Eleven twelve years? Oh yeah. I

596
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 1: posted that video and I was like, I was trying

597
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: to like fix my hair, so I had like my

598
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: camera and I was like trying to fix my hair

599
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: at work this morning. And Mark was like, I said

600
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: a really nice compliment. So I posted it on my

601
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: Instagram and everyone's like, you can't hear what he said?

602
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh no, you can't know. You

603
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: can hear us like some commercial for radiology or something.

604
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: You say, I say it now, I say it now.

605
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: It wasn't you didn't. I could have reset it if

606
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: you wanted me to. What I said was, Tanya, how

607
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: long we worked together eleven twelve years? You still make

608
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: me laugh every day? And it's true. That's such a

609
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: nice compliment. It was really nice. And I was like,

610
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: I don't know where it came from, but I think

611
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 1: I just said something very funny. I came from this

612
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: morning show. I don't remember what it was, but you

613
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: said some stuff in this morning show that had me

614
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 1: laughing all out. So nice. Tony still got it, still

615
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: got the giggles. Well we can Oh my god, just

616
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: she's goosed me. That's right. Um well, we'll let the

617
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 1: scrubbers weigh in on this. Maybe we'll do a pole

618
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: on the love a pole. I would love a pole.

619
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: I do think that. I think both. I think it's

620
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: so here's the question, what's the better choice for Belly

621
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: for Belly? Um? I I also because I said I

622
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: posted like I was team Conrad for Belly, and so

623
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 1: many people are like he is so dark and like

624
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 1: I can't give her what he needs acting. I'm like,

625
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,359
Speaker 1: he's eighteen, Like why are we acting like this man

626
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 1: is like like a grown adult, because that's what you

627
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: do when you're eighteen, you like think that everything is

628
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: like you know everything? Do you think everything is everything?

629
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: I know? But I'm saying like I have like grown

630
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 1: women being like, why would you choose Conrad? He's toxic?

631
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't think he's toxic. I think

632
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: he's eighteen who and he's navigating a lot of life

633
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: decisions my mind. That makes me feel like when I

634
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: say that Ross is my favorite Friends character, people really

635
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,919
Speaker 1: they're really heated against Ross because they think that he's

636
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 1: like the uh, like he's like a narcissist or something

637
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: in his relationship with Rachel. They want to point out

638
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 1: every toxic thing he does in his relation and I'm like,

639
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: you know, why do you think he's funny? I really

640
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: want to I really want to get Sarah Landry. She's

641
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: the Bird's Papaya on Instagram, but she has this huge

642
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: thing against Ross, and I really I really want her

643
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 1: on the podcast, so we will definitely get into that

644
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 1: when she when she comes on eventually. But he's just

645
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: his sense of humor to me is like my favorite.

646
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: I agree, I laugh out all of I love you

647
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: know how I feel about Friends, But um, okay, we're

648
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 1: gonna take a break and we will be right back,

649
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: I think, with some emails, and we only have time

650
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: for one more email. Em okay, okay, we'll be back

651
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: with you with one email. Okay, we are back and

652
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,439
Speaker 1: we have time for one email. As Tony pointed out,

653
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: one email and one ship. Here we have we have

654
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: we have tight ships being okay, so Mark, you can

655
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: take it away alright, Becca, thank you very much. This

656
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: is from anonymous, and she says, by the way I

657
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: pre read this one, this is brutal and tough, and

658
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,919
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell her. So let's see

659
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: what we can do. A week ago, I discovered my

660
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 1: husband of ten plus years has been having an affair

661
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: for over a year with someone my kids and I

662
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: both know. We have three kids. The youngest isn't even

663
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: a year old. I'll let you do the math there.

664
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: He is now choosing to go all in with this woman,

665
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 1: and it is absolutely killing me. I know my worth

666
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: and I will never want to be with him again,

667
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: but it is killing me that this type of woman

668
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: will potentially be around my kids in the future. So

669
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: a few questions. One, how do I stop myself from

670
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: being petty and bitter? And too, how do I let

671
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 1: go of the control? Mm hmm, you're right, this is

672
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: brutal and by the way, and this isn't you guys

673
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 1: should go first. You're not being petty? Does something petty

674
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,800
Speaker 1: about your dislike of this woman or the situation? No,

675
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: but that when she says that, it leads me to

676
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: believe that she's like acting a certain way the other woman. No, No,

677
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: that she is. How do I stop myself from being

678
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:59,439
Speaker 1: petty and bitter? Well, because she's probably like I don't

679
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: want my kids to be around this woman. So it's like,

680
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: what is she considering petty? Because like I'm with Mark,

681
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: if i'm I'm going to be petty and bitter if

682
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 1: if this happens to me too. I think the thing

683
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 1: with being petty and bitter in these situations and look

684
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: like I would probably be you know, you would absolutely

685
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: be got to be freaking piste off. I would, but

686
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 1: but it would be misdirected. I think like being better better,

687
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: being petty and bitter only makes your life. It only

688
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: takes away from your joy, do you know what I mean? Like,

689
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: what's happened has happened in that guy's a scumbag and

690
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: he's going to get what's coming to him, do you

691
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, you don't need to give

692
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: it to him. You don't need to, you know. I

693
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 1: just feel like, especially with kids being involved, if you're

694
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 1: trying to do anything petty or bitter towards him or

695
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: this woman, it's only gonna hurt your kids. So I

696
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 1: feel like, the how do I stop myself from being

697
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: petty and bitter? Just realize that it's taking away your

698
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: own joy in life, Like you're focusing on these people

699
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: that suck versus your life, which you can make amazing

700
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: and like, you know, make amazing for your kids. And

701
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,800
Speaker 1: then I think the how do you let go of control?

702
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 1: I think that's the biggest thing. What I've realized is

703
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 1: everybody is a control freak, and we all want to

704
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: control every aspect of everything in our lives. You want

705
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: to control everything, and we literally control nothing. We can

706
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: only control our emotions and how we react to things.

707
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: And I think once you realize that, because I've also

708
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 1: obviously I've seen, you know, I've had a lot of

709
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: friends go through divorce. My boyfriend's been through a divorce,

710
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: and I think that a lot of the time that

711
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 1: back and forth. Stuff comes from wanting to control the

712
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: situation or control the other person and control what's going

713
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: on on the other side, when in reality, like, you

714
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 1: can't control that, no matter how hard you try, you

715
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 1: just can't. And so once you kind of get to

716
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: that point of realizing you will never control be able

717
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 1: to control what's going on with your ex has been

718
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: and this woman, ever, no matter how hard you try,

719
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 1: it's only going to hurt your kids if you try

720
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: to do that, and you can just control your side.

721
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 1: And so that The best piece of advice I got

722
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 1: was from that old couple that I met in Santa

723
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: Barbara that said that they they've been married for thirty

724
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: five years, they have five kids total. They had two

725
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: kids when they met, and we were asking them all

726
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: these questions about just kind of how that works, and

727
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 1: they said, kids grow where the sun shines, and so

728
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: that was like very very um. We took that advice

729
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 1: to heart and we still say it every single day.

730
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: We're just like kids grow where the sunshines. Like we

731
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: keep it sunny, we keep it bright, we keep it light,

732
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: and we keep it happy on our side. And that's it. Yeah, control,

733
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 1: I do think you can control how you can control

734
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 1: how you handle it. I don't think you can control

735
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,359
Speaker 1: the feelings you have about the situation in this woman.

736
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's fair to yourself to expect

737
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: to just be able to like move on and and

738
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: put on a happy face. But I do think for

739
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 1: the kid's sake, just at the very least being cordial

740
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 1: and at least presenting in front of them that you

741
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 1: both love and care about them. And I don't think

742
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 1: you have to have conversations with this other woman or

743
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 1: conversations with your ex, but I think it's important to

744
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 1: be able to communicate in a way that's productive for

745
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: the kids. But I also think, like let yourself be mad,

746
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 1: like I would be so pissed, Like I wouldn't just

747
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: be able to be like, oh, I know bitterness is

748
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: only hurting me, Like I would be like, I'm really

749
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: upset that I invested so much of my time in

750
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: my life into someone who's willing to drop what we

751
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: have created so fast. And I think, like reach out

752
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 1: to the people that your support system, your friends, your family,

753
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: and like really lean on them and let yourself be mad.

754
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: And I think for the kids, say you do have

755
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: to maybe slap on a happier face than your feeling

756
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 1: and be nicer to your ex in front of them

757
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: than you would ever want to be. But I mean,

758
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: I think the control issue is having conversations. I know

759
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 1: um our friend Amber Lancaster, she's been pretty open about

760
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: her relationship with her ex husband and they have a

761
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 1: child together, and he's really involved in UM their son

762
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 1: Russell's life, and she's been saying, like, you know, we

763
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 1: do it for him, and I think it's obviously very

764
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: hard and it's not always perfect and pretty, but I

765
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: do know that it will make a difference in your

766
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: kid's life. So it just sucks. I'm so sorry that

767
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: you're going through this and that he's taken this away

768
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: from you. You know, he's taken that perfect family you

769
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 1: thought you had, and now these kids are going to

770
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: have another mother figure in their lives, not their mom,

771
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 1: and that sucks. My advice is just too spend as

772
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 1: little time as possible with your ex and his wife

773
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: and maybe have no communication whatsoever except what's absolutely necessary.

774
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 1: When the kids are there, be the best mom you

775
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 1: can be, and when the kids are not there, take

776
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 1: that opportunity to thrive and just be the best you

777
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 1: you can be and know that this next chapter of

778
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 1: your life is not what you planned, that it can

779
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: still be amazing. You can it really. I mean it

780
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like it now because you're miserable and angry,

781
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 1: and I get it. But ten years from now, you

782
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 1: might look back and think, you know, the last ten

783
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: years have been all right. And also you can look

784
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: at it now and think that guy is her problem.

785
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: Now he's not your problem. She has to worry about

786
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 1: him maybe doing the same thing to her, and you

787
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: get to move on from someone who did not treat

788
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: you well. So and you know what, Like, I think

789
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: that I obviously this situation and is really tough. And

790
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,720
Speaker 1: if it were me, like getting over being with somebody

791
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 1: for ten years and realizing that they were having an

792
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: affair and cheating, like I would be, I wouldn't trust

793
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: somebody for like a very long time, just because that's

794
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 1: how I am and it's not the right way to be.

795
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 1: But that I just know myself. Um, But just know that,

796
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 1: you know, this season of life is going to be

797
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 1: really hard and you're probably gonna cry a lot and

798
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: be really sad. But I do think that sometimes you

799
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: have to believe that things work too in your favor,

800
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: and like you know, Red Stars told me so many

801
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 1: times that like he's never he never knew he could

802
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: be like life could be this good and he could

803
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: be this happy, and so you know, Um, it sucks.

804
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 1: And then there's gonna be a season that's really hard

805
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: for you and you feel like you don't deserve this,

806
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 1: and you definitely don't. But I feel like there's gonna

807
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: be something really a lot brighter on the other side

808
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 1: for you. This is a good moment to go and

809
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 1: look at the shame Mitchell quote. Yeah, way to bring

810
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: it full circle, back up circle. But we're very sorry

811
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 1: this happens. It sucks. I don't know if there's like

812
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 1: a good answer advice, but we're rooting for you, and

813
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 1: we're rooting for your kids, and you're better off without him.

814
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 1: I would like for you to email us back in

815
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: a year and just like let us know. I like that. Yeah,

816
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 1: she's in the thick of it right now, but I

817
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: think she's going to see the light. I agree. I

818
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,919
Speaker 1: think you'll look back and be like, I can't believe

819
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 1: I was ever sad about this guy. Look at me now. Um.

820
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: On that note, we have a really I'm so excited

821
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 1: for our guests on Thursday. We are talking to UM

822
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,839
Speaker 1: and Jennet Kutcher, who I've been following on Instagram for

823
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: so long now, and i just think she is the

824
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: definition of what this podcast is about. And I love

825
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 1: her and I'm so excited to talk to her. So

826
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 1: tune in Thursday for our conversation with her. And hope

827
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:06,280
Speaker 1: you all have a wonderful week. Happy Birthday, March, Happy

828
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 1: birthday tomorrow. I love you, hope you get endless amounts

829
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: of pie and UM. We'll be back on Thursday. Love you,

830
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: love you Bye.