1 00:00:14,956 --> 00:00:15,396 Speaker 1: Pushkin. 2 00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:34,316 Speaker 2: Our dominant model and narrative is that we should deny, reduce, 3 00:00:34,396 --> 00:00:38,556 Speaker 2: and avoid stress, and that is not always the case. 4 00:00:38,796 --> 00:00:41,996 Speaker 2: Every single person I know can tell of the time 5 00:00:42,316 --> 00:00:44,116 Speaker 2: where their stress helps them. 6 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:48,796 Speaker 1: That's Madubay Aquinola, a professor at the Columbia Business School 7 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,836 Speaker 1: and an expert on stress. Madubay's on a mission to 8 00:00:52,916 --> 00:00:56,116 Speaker 1: change how we think about short term stress, the kind 9 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,876 Speaker 1: we feel when we're preparing for a big presentation at 10 00:00:58,956 --> 00:01:03,076 Speaker 1: work or before a difficult conversation with a friend. She says, 11 00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:06,356 Speaker 1: we can reframe our stress as something that actually helps us. 12 00:01:06,996 --> 00:01:10,236 Speaker 2: It's often your mindset about stress that can influence the 13 00:01:10,276 --> 00:01:13,516 Speaker 2: extent to which it can have harmful or helpful effects. 14 00:01:14,236 --> 00:01:17,276 Speaker 2: So when we have more of a stress is enhancing 15 00:01:17,356 --> 00:01:22,636 Speaker 2: mindset that leads to better outcomes. 16 00:01:24,036 --> 00:01:27,596 Speaker 1: On today's show, What Science teaches Us about the Upside 17 00:01:27,756 --> 00:01:33,436 Speaker 1: of Stress, I'm maya Shunker and this is a slight 18 00:01:33,516 --> 00:01:36,156 Speaker 1: change of plans, a show about who we are and 19 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:46,156 Speaker 1: who we become in the face of a big change. 20 00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:52,876 Speaker 1: It's easy for us to see stress as the enemy. 21 00:01:53,476 --> 00:01:57,436 Speaker 1: In a stressful situation, our heart races, our blood pressure rises, 22 00:01:57,716 --> 00:02:01,396 Speaker 1: our breathing quickens, and this can all feel pretty uncomfortable. 23 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:04,196 Speaker 1: If we could wave a magic wand that would eliminate 24 00:02:04,316 --> 00:02:07,436 Speaker 1: all future stress from our lives, many of us would 25 00:02:07,516 --> 00:02:10,436 Speaker 1: wave that wand, and the dow Pay believes that if 26 00:02:10,436 --> 00:02:13,396 Speaker 1: we can make a small shift in our mindset, stress 27 00:02:13,396 --> 00:02:17,276 Speaker 1: can actually be a powerful asset. So, madiuve, can you 28 00:02:17,316 --> 00:02:20,036 Speaker 1: start off by sharing what it is that got you 29 00:02:20,116 --> 00:02:22,596 Speaker 1: interested in studying stress in the first place. 30 00:02:23,156 --> 00:02:27,116 Speaker 2: Basically, I grew up as a child of immigrants, and 31 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,476 Speaker 2: anyone who is a child of immigrants knows that there 32 00:02:30,596 --> 00:02:34,036 Speaker 2: is just stress involved in that experience. The stress of 33 00:02:34,076 --> 00:02:37,476 Speaker 2: moving to a new country, the stress of having kids, 34 00:02:37,756 --> 00:02:40,876 Speaker 2: raising kids in a new environment, the stress of being 35 00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:43,436 Speaker 2: far away from your family if you've come from a 36 00:02:43,476 --> 00:02:47,476 Speaker 2: developing country, being able to support your family while also 37 00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:50,476 Speaker 2: trying to help your kids learn a new language here, 38 00:02:50,596 --> 00:02:54,876 Speaker 2: all of that, and so I realized later on in 39 00:02:54,916 --> 00:02:58,036 Speaker 2: life that I had absorbed a lot of that stress. Heck, 40 00:02:58,116 --> 00:03:01,356 Speaker 2: to this day, I still watch my parents' stress and 41 00:03:01,476 --> 00:03:05,356 Speaker 2: have to say to myself, wait a minute, pause, do 42 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:07,956 Speaker 2: all the things that I advise other people to do. 43 00:03:08,116 --> 00:03:10,836 Speaker 2: So that is a piece of why a study stress. 44 00:03:10,916 --> 00:03:13,316 Speaker 2: But also one of the things I love about my 45 00:03:13,356 --> 00:03:16,836 Speaker 2: parents was that they were very education focused, and so 46 00:03:16,916 --> 00:03:19,956 Speaker 2: the stress of doing well in school, not even just 47 00:03:19,996 --> 00:03:21,676 Speaker 2: the pressure that they put on us. They didn't put 48 00:03:21,756 --> 00:03:23,916 Speaker 2: much pressure on us. They just sent us to one 49 00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:26,796 Speaker 2: of the best private schools possible and said, you know, 50 00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:30,516 Speaker 2: you do you. But in that process that meant that 51 00:03:30,556 --> 00:03:33,676 Speaker 2: I experienced the stress of being one a few black 52 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:37,756 Speaker 2: people in every classroom I was in. So then there's 53 00:03:37,796 --> 00:03:41,436 Speaker 2: a stress of adjusting and adapting to environments where you 54 00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:44,756 Speaker 2: are the only where you're different. So all of those 55 00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:49,356 Speaker 2: things combined led to me eventually studying stress. 56 00:03:49,876 --> 00:03:52,476 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's this charming story in the Dufet about your 57 00:03:52,596 --> 00:03:55,116 Speaker 1: high school yearbook and the fact that clearly you weren't 58 00:03:55,156 --> 00:03:57,716 Speaker 1: the only one thinking that you were stressed out. Can 59 00:03:57,756 --> 00:03:58,956 Speaker 1: you tell us a bit about that. 60 00:03:59,716 --> 00:04:02,316 Speaker 2: Yes, So, you know, in high school usually you have 61 00:04:02,356 --> 00:04:05,476 Speaker 2: a yearbook, and in our yearbook there are roasts. In 62 00:04:05,556 --> 00:04:09,276 Speaker 2: those roasts, it highlights who you think you are and 63 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:13,236 Speaker 2: who you actually are. And my dream was that I 64 00:04:13,316 --> 00:04:16,836 Speaker 2: was best dressed, is what they said. But my reality 65 00:04:16,996 --> 00:04:21,196 Speaker 2: was that I was the most stressed. So even senior year, 66 00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:25,196 Speaker 2: you know, even senior year, they saw that in me, 67 00:04:25,276 --> 00:04:28,316 Speaker 2: and I saw it in myself. But the thing about 68 00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:29,996 Speaker 2: it is there were so many ways in which that 69 00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,876 Speaker 2: stress helped me. It challenged me, and it pushed me. 70 00:04:32,996 --> 00:04:35,876 Speaker 2: So I kind of always felt like stress isn't always 71 00:04:35,916 --> 00:04:38,796 Speaker 2: this terrible thing that we need to run away from 72 00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:41,596 Speaker 2: and avoid and deny. Maybe it is helping us in 73 00:04:41,596 --> 00:04:42,596 Speaker 2: some ways too. 74 00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:45,036 Speaker 1: So let's start with the basics. If you can give 75 00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:47,276 Speaker 1: us kind of the stress one oh one, how do 76 00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:48,556 Speaker 1: you define stress? 77 00:04:49,716 --> 00:04:54,076 Speaker 2: I feel like the simplest definition is when the demands 78 00:04:54,276 --> 00:04:58,276 Speaker 2: of a situation exceed your resources to cope. But you 79 00:04:58,316 --> 00:04:59,996 Speaker 2: have to then take it a step further and say, well, 80 00:05:00,036 --> 00:05:04,356 Speaker 2: what are demands? And often demands are there's some type 81 00:05:04,356 --> 00:05:07,836 Speaker 2: of danger in the situation, there's some type of uncertainty, 82 00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:09,436 Speaker 2: you need to exert a lit what a bit of 83 00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:13,876 Speaker 2: extra effort in this situation. Then when you think about resources, well, 84 00:05:13,996 --> 00:05:17,796 Speaker 2: what helps us overcome danger, uncertainty, extra effort we need 85 00:05:17,836 --> 00:05:20,516 Speaker 2: to put into something, Well, when we have the knowledge 86 00:05:20,516 --> 00:05:25,036 Speaker 2: and the abilities to tackle that thing, when our personalities, 87 00:05:25,036 --> 00:05:28,796 Speaker 2: our dispositions can be helpful in tackling that thing, and 88 00:05:28,916 --> 00:05:31,836 Speaker 2: also when we have external support, other people cheering us on, 89 00:05:31,996 --> 00:05:35,316 Speaker 2: other people teaching us. That's when we have more resources. 90 00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:38,996 Speaker 1: What's interesting about this definition is that when it comes 91 00:05:39,076 --> 00:05:43,756 Speaker 1: to stress, it's really about our subjective assessment that we 92 00:05:43,796 --> 00:05:46,156 Speaker 1: have the resources to cope. So it might not be 93 00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:49,996 Speaker 1: the objective resources. In fact, I might have the mental 94 00:05:50,036 --> 00:05:52,476 Speaker 1: and physical resources to cope with the situation. But if 95 00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:56,036 Speaker 1: my self perception is that I don't have those resources now, 96 00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:58,876 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it is a stressful situation. So 97 00:05:59,036 --> 00:06:01,996 Speaker 1: I would almost reframe the definition as feeling like the 98 00:06:02,036 --> 00:06:05,516 Speaker 1: demands of the situation exceed your resources to cope. Is 99 00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:05,876 Speaker 1: that right? 100 00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:09,196 Speaker 2: Yet a lot of it is our subjective assessment of it, 101 00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:11,796 Speaker 2: which is a piece of why I tell people don't 102 00:06:11,836 --> 00:06:15,196 Speaker 2: say like, don't be stressed, that shouldn't stress you out, 103 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,676 Speaker 2: because it doesn't matter Subjectively, I am feeling stressed. So 104 00:06:19,556 --> 00:06:22,436 Speaker 2: that's what needs to be taken into consideration, my subjective 105 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,596 Speaker 2: experience of it. 106 00:06:24,796 --> 00:06:27,676 Speaker 1: On a physiological level, can you tell us what happens 107 00:06:27,716 --> 00:06:29,716 Speaker 1: to us when we experience stress? 108 00:06:30,196 --> 00:06:35,716 Speaker 2: So when we experience stress, our sympathetic nervous system gets activated. 109 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,396 Speaker 2: It's that part of our body that tells us do 110 00:06:39,436 --> 00:06:41,516 Speaker 2: you need to fight or do you need to flee 111 00:06:41,516 --> 00:06:46,356 Speaker 2: this situation? And when that happens, we get adrenaline, We 112 00:06:46,476 --> 00:06:51,316 Speaker 2: get dopamine, we get cortisol, all of the resources we 113 00:06:51,396 --> 00:06:55,556 Speaker 2: need physiologically to move to act, to do what we 114 00:06:55,636 --> 00:06:59,676 Speaker 2: need to do. This process is a very adaptive one, 115 00:06:59,756 --> 00:07:02,516 Speaker 2: so that when you're done with the stressor ideally your 116 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,756 Speaker 2: body wants to go back to its resting state, where 117 00:07:06,076 --> 00:07:09,556 Speaker 2: those hormones decrease, that adrenaline decreased, you get back to 118 00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:12,916 Speaker 2: resting and relaxing and all that. That is a normal 119 00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:16,236 Speaker 2: physiological response to an acute stressor. 120 00:07:17,556 --> 00:07:20,236 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love your sharing that, because stress obviously gets 121 00:07:20,236 --> 00:07:23,356 Speaker 1: a really bad rep but it's not just this random 122 00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:26,156 Speaker 1: bad thing that our bodies experience. It exists in part 123 00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:30,476 Speaker 1: because it is highly adaptive, and there are many situations 124 00:07:30,476 --> 00:07:33,516 Speaker 1: in which an active stress response helps us do what 125 00:07:33,596 --> 00:07:38,436 Speaker 1: needs to be done. So, in other words, you mentioned cortisol, dopamine, adrenaline, 126 00:07:38,836 --> 00:07:43,436 Speaker 1: How do those translate into increased performance increased acuity? Just 127 00:07:43,436 --> 00:07:44,956 Speaker 1: help me build that bridge. 128 00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:49,116 Speaker 2: So essentially, your body is being taxed and your heart 129 00:07:49,196 --> 00:07:53,236 Speaker 2: rate is increasing because again you're getting ready. That cortisol 130 00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:56,076 Speaker 2: is giving you the energy that you need to be attentive, 131 00:07:56,436 --> 00:08:00,556 Speaker 2: to be focused, to approach the situation. And when you 132 00:08:00,596 --> 00:08:03,716 Speaker 2: have increased cortisol, you are attentive to threats, often in 133 00:08:03,756 --> 00:08:06,636 Speaker 2: a good way. You're like waiting for what's happening. You're 134 00:08:06,836 --> 00:08:09,716 Speaker 2: able to remember things in a different way, and so 135 00:08:10,196 --> 00:08:13,516 Speaker 2: we need to remember when our bodies are acting. It's 136 00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:18,076 Speaker 2: telling us you've got this, now, let's use this. But 137 00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:22,196 Speaker 2: one of the problems is when we can be overactivated 138 00:08:22,476 --> 00:08:26,956 Speaker 2: and too attentive to threat and those levels of the dopamine, 139 00:08:26,956 --> 00:08:30,516 Speaker 2: the cord is the adrenaline, all that are staying elevated 140 00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:34,636 Speaker 2: kind of chronically, and that is what leads to disease 141 00:08:35,276 --> 00:08:38,396 Speaker 2: and all of these problems that we want to avoid physiologically. 142 00:08:38,676 --> 00:08:40,436 Speaker 2: So that's kind of the stress cycle. 143 00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:42,836 Speaker 1: Okay, so now you've given us the lay of the 144 00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:46,716 Speaker 1: land on the basics of stress. Yes, one fascinating thing 145 00:08:46,996 --> 00:08:50,956 Speaker 1: your research focuses on is that how we think about 146 00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:54,236 Speaker 1: our own stress, our mindset, and our attitude towards stress 147 00:08:54,676 --> 00:08:57,596 Speaker 1: can actually change its impact on us. Yes, can you 148 00:08:57,676 --> 00:09:00,556 Speaker 1: first walk us through the two types of mindsets that 149 00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:01,876 Speaker 1: we can have towards stress. 150 00:09:02,396 --> 00:09:05,036 Speaker 2: So the two types of mindsets are a mindset that 151 00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:08,516 Speaker 2: stress is enhancing. It can help us in terms of 152 00:09:08,556 --> 00:09:13,556 Speaker 2: our perform orments, our growth, our learning. The second piece 153 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,916 Speaker 2: is that stress is debilitating. It harms us in terms 154 00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:19,636 Speaker 2: of our health and vitality and our performance and our 155 00:09:19,676 --> 00:09:24,076 Speaker 2: growth in our learning. And it's often your mindset about 156 00:09:24,076 --> 00:09:26,676 Speaker 2: stress that can influence the extent to which it can 157 00:09:26,716 --> 00:09:31,076 Speaker 2: have harmful or helpful effects. So when we have more 158 00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:35,676 Speaker 2: of a stress is enhancing mindset that leads to better outcomes. 159 00:09:36,316 --> 00:09:39,156 Speaker 1: I love this research. I'm wondering if you can give 160 00:09:39,436 --> 00:09:43,596 Speaker 1: me a couple of examples of how introducing this mindset 161 00:09:43,636 --> 00:09:46,676 Speaker 1: shift was actually able to help performance in different contexts. 162 00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:50,756 Speaker 2: So in one study, we had people just watch a 163 00:09:50,836 --> 00:09:54,476 Speaker 2: video showing the many ways in which stress can be enhancing. 164 00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:57,676 Speaker 2: You can imagine things like that stressful moment in a 165 00:09:57,756 --> 00:10:00,876 Speaker 2: soccer game and somebody makes the goal. We can each 166 00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:03,036 Speaker 2: think of times when we have risen to the occasion. 167 00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:06,476 Speaker 2: When we show people these videos and then have them 168 00:10:06,476 --> 00:10:10,116 Speaker 2: engage in a creative task, we find the they're more creative. 169 00:10:10,516 --> 00:10:13,116 Speaker 2: We find that they are more attentive to positive things 170 00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:16,956 Speaker 2: in the environment versus negative things in the environment. On 171 00:10:16,996 --> 00:10:19,796 Speaker 2: the flip side, tell people or show them videos of 172 00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:23,396 Speaker 2: when stress can be debilitating and see the opposite, they're 173 00:10:23,476 --> 00:10:29,156 Speaker 2: less creative and also generally more negative mood more attentive 174 00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:32,236 Speaker 2: to threats. So that's some of the research we've done. 175 00:10:32,436 --> 00:10:34,236 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know that you work at a business 176 00:10:34,236 --> 00:10:37,716 Speaker 1: school and you often think about psychology as it applies 177 00:10:37,716 --> 00:10:41,316 Speaker 1: to organizational behavior. Yeah, and you did some similar research 178 00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:42,916 Speaker 1: when it comes to negotiators. 179 00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:47,356 Speaker 2: Yes, so often people are very stressed in the context 180 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:52,036 Speaker 2: of negotiation. So in this research, we basically just told 181 00:10:52,076 --> 00:10:54,676 Speaker 2: people that, you know, a little bit of stress before 182 00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:59,356 Speaker 2: negotiations is actually okay. So we had half the people 183 00:10:59,396 --> 00:11:01,636 Speaker 2: we told that, the other half we didn't tell anything 184 00:11:01,916 --> 00:11:06,476 Speaker 2: prior to negotiation, and we found that for women who 185 00:11:06,636 --> 00:11:12,996 Speaker 2: experienced cortisol increases in the negotiations, so physiologically they were stressed. However, 186 00:11:13,036 --> 00:11:14,956 Speaker 2: they were told a little bit of stress is okay 187 00:11:14,996 --> 00:11:20,156 Speaker 2: in the negotiation, they outperformed those who were told nothing 188 00:11:20,316 --> 00:11:25,076 Speaker 2: about stress being helpful for negotiations. So there's something about 189 00:11:25,116 --> 00:11:28,516 Speaker 2: knowing that this is actually an okay thing, that when 190 00:11:28,556 --> 00:11:31,516 Speaker 2: your body is having this response, that can lead to 191 00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:32,636 Speaker 2: beneficial outcomes. 192 00:11:33,556 --> 00:11:36,196 Speaker 1: Yeah. And one of the most fascinating insights is that 193 00:11:36,756 --> 00:11:40,396 Speaker 1: our underlying physiology can change when we adopt a stress 194 00:11:40,396 --> 00:11:43,556 Speaker 1: as enhancing mindset. So it's not just that I think 195 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:47,276 Speaker 1: more positive thoughts, it actually can affect our physiological response 196 00:11:47,316 --> 00:11:49,476 Speaker 1: to stress at this underlying level. 197 00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:52,676 Speaker 2: I think that that's absolutely right, that when you have 198 00:11:52,756 --> 00:11:56,836 Speaker 2: an enhancing mindset, it can affect your body's response to stress. 199 00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,476 Speaker 2: There has been research showing that the walls of your 200 00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:03,836 Speaker 2: blood vessels, rather than constricting, they are more likely to 201 00:12:03,996 --> 00:12:08,036 Speaker 2: dilate with a stress. Is enhancing mindset and the importance 202 00:12:08,036 --> 00:12:10,396 Speaker 2: of the mind body cannet is something I think we 203 00:12:10,516 --> 00:12:14,036 Speaker 2: often forget. And you know, our dominant model and narrative 204 00:12:14,196 --> 00:12:18,596 Speaker 2: is that we should deny, reduce and avoid stress, and 205 00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:22,556 Speaker 2: that is not always the case. Every single person I 206 00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:27,036 Speaker 2: know can tell of the time where their stress helps them. 207 00:12:27,276 --> 00:12:29,436 Speaker 2: So instead, in this research we talk a lot about 208 00:12:29,436 --> 00:12:32,876 Speaker 2: how can you acknowledge your stress, welcome your stress, and 209 00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:36,116 Speaker 2: use it in a way that will be beneficial because 210 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,556 Speaker 2: it is designed to help you. Now, it's important to say, 211 00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:42,436 Speaker 2: I'm not saying run towards stress, like you shouldn't like 212 00:12:42,516 --> 00:12:45,836 Speaker 2: find more stressors. No, that's not what we're saying. We're 213 00:12:45,876 --> 00:12:49,196 Speaker 2: saying it's not always a bad thing. It's actually designed 214 00:12:49,196 --> 00:12:49,636 Speaker 2: to help you. 215 00:12:50,956 --> 00:12:54,316 Speaker 1: Yeah, you talk about dating your stress, Yes, you know 216 00:12:54,396 --> 00:12:57,196 Speaker 1: slight change listeners. We're simply asking for a first date. Okay, 217 00:12:57,196 --> 00:12:58,796 Speaker 1: you can decide if you want to do a second 218 00:12:58,876 --> 00:13:00,716 Speaker 1: or a third that just go on that first date. 219 00:13:00,836 --> 00:13:03,316 Speaker 1: That's right. Get to know your stress a little better 220 00:13:03,676 --> 00:13:04,476 Speaker 1: and brace it and. 221 00:13:04,476 --> 00:13:07,276 Speaker 2: Be kind to it. Open the door for it, you know, 222 00:13:07,516 --> 00:13:11,036 Speaker 2: let it in, welcome it, see how it feels. That's 223 00:13:11,076 --> 00:13:12,596 Speaker 2: what we need to do a lot more of. 224 00:13:13,796 --> 00:13:16,196 Speaker 1: After the break, we hear more from a Dubet about 225 00:13:16,236 --> 00:13:19,396 Speaker 1: the benefits of this mindset shift, and we talk about 226 00:13:19,436 --> 00:13:23,436 Speaker 1: its limits. She shares her go to strategies for managing stress. 227 00:13:23,516 --> 00:13:29,836 Speaker 1: When a simple reframe isn't enough, We'll be back in 228 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:44,436 Speaker 1: a moment with a slight change of plans. Are there 229 00:13:44,516 --> 00:13:48,956 Speaker 1: situations where applying a stress is enhancing mindset? Doesn't make 230 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,076 Speaker 1: sense because I can see a situation where if we 231 00:13:52,116 --> 00:13:55,996 Speaker 1: apply this mindset too liberally, we might end up tolerating 232 00:13:56,476 --> 00:13:59,876 Speaker 1: certain stressful situations that we really should try and avoid. So, 233 00:13:59,956 --> 00:14:03,596 Speaker 1: for example, a highly toxic relationship at work or in 234 00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:05,876 Speaker 1: your personal life, that's a situation where you're kind of 235 00:14:06,276 --> 00:14:08,676 Speaker 1: you really think, okay, we need to change the situation. 236 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:11,116 Speaker 1: I need to get out of this situation, versus using 237 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,356 Speaker 1: a mindset shift in order to better adapt to it. 238 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:14,396 Speaker 1: So do you have thoughts on that? 239 00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:18,876 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do think that our minds are so complicated 240 00:14:18,916 --> 00:14:21,716 Speaker 2: and we will trick ourselves into believing a stressful situation 241 00:14:21,836 --> 00:14:24,196 Speaker 2: is a good one when it's not. So that's when 242 00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:27,436 Speaker 2: the idea. Remember I talked about demands resources. One resource 243 00:14:27,516 --> 00:14:31,236 Speaker 2: is external support, your friends helping you and seeing when 244 00:14:31,276 --> 00:14:33,676 Speaker 2: something is harmful versus helpful for you. 245 00:14:34,356 --> 00:14:36,236 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's helpful to clarify that this is 246 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,796 Speaker 1: a mindset that's almost best to adopt when you're in 247 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,436 Speaker 1: situations where you can't avoid the stress or you can't 248 00:14:41,436 --> 00:14:44,516 Speaker 1: control whether that situation exists or not, right, and so 249 00:14:45,076 --> 00:14:47,796 Speaker 1: adopting a more positive mindset might be one of the 250 00:14:47,796 --> 00:14:48,996 Speaker 1: few resources at hand. 251 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:52,436 Speaker 2: That's absolutely right. And the challenge with the dominant narrative 252 00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:55,236 Speaker 2: about reducing or avoiding stress is that there are times 253 00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:59,316 Speaker 2: where we cannot do that. You can't, it's not possible. 254 00:14:59,516 --> 00:15:03,556 Speaker 2: So that's why it's important to understand how the stress 255 00:15:03,556 --> 00:15:07,556 Speaker 2: that you're experiencing or how your body's response can be helpful. 256 00:15:07,996 --> 00:15:11,716 Speaker 1: Absolutely, so many people listening right now are thinking I 257 00:15:11,756 --> 00:15:14,436 Speaker 1: don't have any control right now over the stressful situation. 258 00:15:14,596 --> 00:15:19,396 Speaker 1: So Madupe, thank you for giving us some other techniques. Yeah, okay, 259 00:15:19,436 --> 00:15:22,156 Speaker 1: let's say we've consulted with our resources, so our friends 260 00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:23,756 Speaker 1: and our family and the people that we trust in 261 00:15:23,796 --> 00:15:27,076 Speaker 1: our lives, and we've consulted with ourselves of course, and 262 00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:31,476 Speaker 1: we've identified a situation in which having a stress as 263 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,676 Speaker 1: enhancing mindset is going to serve us. Well, how do 264 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,836 Speaker 1: we learn to cultivate this mindset? 265 00:15:37,316 --> 00:15:39,796 Speaker 2: So a piece of this goes back to that, how 266 00:15:39,836 --> 00:15:43,756 Speaker 2: do I think of my stress differently? When my heart 267 00:15:43,796 --> 00:15:47,076 Speaker 2: is beating. I'm normally thinking to myself, this is bad. 268 00:15:47,796 --> 00:15:49,956 Speaker 2: But if you can remind yourself that my heart beating 269 00:15:49,996 --> 00:15:52,676 Speaker 2: is telling me, like I'm excited about something, there's something 270 00:15:52,716 --> 00:15:55,116 Speaker 2: here that I care about. This is something that I 271 00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:56,756 Speaker 2: want to do well in. This is something that I 272 00:15:56,796 --> 00:16:00,036 Speaker 2: can do well in. Then that reframes that heartbeat not 273 00:16:00,076 --> 00:16:04,036 Speaker 2: as a bad thing, but as your body preparing to act. 274 00:16:04,676 --> 00:16:06,356 Speaker 1: There have been so many times in my life, whether 275 00:16:06,476 --> 00:16:09,356 Speaker 1: when I was a child playing the violin, or whether 276 00:16:09,356 --> 00:16:11,516 Speaker 1: it's going into an interviews for a slight change of plans, 277 00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,956 Speaker 1: I get a little spooked if I'm not nervous, because 278 00:16:14,956 --> 00:16:16,676 Speaker 1: that means maybe I don't care as much as I 279 00:16:16,756 --> 00:16:19,236 Speaker 1: used to. And so I'm actually I see stress as 280 00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:22,156 Speaker 1: being a very affirming signal because it shows me that 281 00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:25,916 Speaker 1: I really care about the outcome, and it justifies the 282 00:16:26,036 --> 00:16:27,876 Speaker 1: unpleasantness of some of those feelings. 283 00:16:28,436 --> 00:16:31,316 Speaker 2: And that's a beautiful way of approaching it. That we 284 00:16:31,436 --> 00:16:35,316 Speaker 2: are typically stressed because there is an underlying reason why 285 00:16:35,396 --> 00:16:38,396 Speaker 2: we care about the situation. And if we can continue 286 00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:42,556 Speaker 2: to ask ourselves why, why why, then that puts a 287 00:16:42,596 --> 00:16:47,396 Speaker 2: whole different lens around why you're stressed and changes your approach. 288 00:16:47,796 --> 00:16:49,516 Speaker 1: Can you give me an example in the dupe from 289 00:16:49,516 --> 00:16:51,996 Speaker 1: your own life in which you started asking yourself these 290 00:16:52,036 --> 00:16:54,076 Speaker 1: series of why questions and it led you to a 291 00:16:54,116 --> 00:16:57,276 Speaker 1: place where you're better able to embrace your stress or 292 00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:59,876 Speaker 1: at least realize okay, good, at least it's serving some purpose. 293 00:17:00,036 --> 00:17:04,196 Speaker 2: Yes, I'm a professor, so each semester I teach one 294 00:17:04,276 --> 00:17:08,756 Speaker 2: hundred and forty plus students and the day before class 295 00:17:09,156 --> 00:17:12,356 Speaker 2: would always feel very stressed. And here's the thing, it's 296 00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:14,916 Speaker 2: not that I'd also be stressed. I'd also be a jerk, 297 00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:17,956 Speaker 2: you know, I'd be obnoxious to my loved ones, like 298 00:17:18,076 --> 00:17:20,516 Speaker 2: just not a person that anyone wanted to be around. 299 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,956 Speaker 2: And in fact, i'd be happier when my significant others 300 00:17:23,956 --> 00:17:27,036 Speaker 2: were traveling or whatever, because it's like I just wanted 301 00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:30,396 Speaker 2: to be focused, and I had to ask say to myself, 302 00:17:30,436 --> 00:17:33,476 Speaker 2: first of all, that's not sustainable over time. I'm a 303 00:17:33,476 --> 00:17:36,356 Speaker 2: good teacher. Students like me. I've done this for years. 304 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,516 Speaker 2: So I had to say, Okay, well why do you 305 00:17:38,636 --> 00:17:42,836 Speaker 2: have this reaction? Why are you stressed? And often it 306 00:17:42,916 --> 00:17:45,596 Speaker 2: was like, I'm stressed because I don't want to do 307 00:17:45,676 --> 00:17:50,236 Speaker 2: badly in the classroom. Why because I feel like what 308 00:17:50,276 --> 00:17:53,236 Speaker 2: I have to share with students is really important. Why 309 00:17:53,316 --> 00:17:56,636 Speaker 2: because I'm training future business leaders to be the most 310 00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:00,916 Speaker 2: phenomenal leaders possible. Why well, if I do that well, 311 00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:05,156 Speaker 2: then our organizations will be healthier and people will be 312 00:18:05,396 --> 00:18:08,716 Speaker 2: happier in their workplaces. Why does that matter? Because if 313 00:18:08,716 --> 00:18:12,596 Speaker 2: people are happier and healthier in their workplaces, then we're 314 00:18:12,596 --> 00:18:14,876 Speaker 2: going to be able to address some of the critical 315 00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:18,556 Speaker 2: challenges in this world. The questions that need to be addressed, 316 00:18:18,796 --> 00:18:21,236 Speaker 2: solve lots of the problems that need to be solved. 317 00:18:21,876 --> 00:18:25,076 Speaker 2: And so when you get to that, then it's like, well, a, 318 00:18:25,236 --> 00:18:27,476 Speaker 2: it tells you that's a good reason to be stressed, 319 00:18:27,516 --> 00:18:31,236 Speaker 2: but be it also says, you know, all right, well, 320 00:18:31,356 --> 00:18:33,876 Speaker 2: go get it, go do it. And that's a piece 321 00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:36,756 Speaker 2: of just kind of like acknowledging that type of stress 322 00:18:36,796 --> 00:18:39,196 Speaker 2: and welcoming it, because then you're like, oh, I'm pumped 323 00:18:39,276 --> 00:18:41,636 Speaker 2: up because what am I doing. I'm changing the world. 324 00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:47,636 Speaker 2: I'm feeling right now hearing just that process, just that 325 00:18:47,756 --> 00:18:49,676 Speaker 2: process makes a big difference. 326 00:18:49,916 --> 00:18:52,476 Speaker 1: I really love that, Madupe, because as you were sharing this, 327 00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:55,036 Speaker 1: I related to that early stress, and I was thinking 328 00:18:55,036 --> 00:18:58,916 Speaker 1: to myself that damn well deserves stress. That situation definitely 329 00:18:58,916 --> 00:19:01,316 Speaker 1: desert stress because the dupe is changing the world, and 330 00:19:01,356 --> 00:19:05,236 Speaker 1: so it certainly seems like that lecture carries significance and 331 00:19:05,276 --> 00:19:09,796 Speaker 1: importance because look at all these extremely positive downstream consequences. 332 00:19:09,436 --> 00:19:12,036 Speaker 2: Right, And the more I do that, then it tells me, like, 333 00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:13,636 Speaker 2: I don't have to be a jerky. 334 00:19:13,436 --> 00:19:16,996 Speaker 1: Yeah, share more about that, because obviously stress does not 335 00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:19,156 Speaker 1: just have internal consequences. It can have a lot of 336 00:19:19,196 --> 00:19:21,556 Speaker 1: external consequences on our loved ones and the people we 337 00:19:21,636 --> 00:19:23,356 Speaker 1: care about. Yeah, So I'd love to dig into that 338 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,116 Speaker 1: a bit more. I'm sure that's something a lot of 339 00:19:25,116 --> 00:19:26,156 Speaker 1: people can resonate with. 340 00:19:26,396 --> 00:19:28,956 Speaker 2: Yes, one of the first things I tell people to 341 00:19:28,996 --> 00:19:32,276 Speaker 2: do is to acknowledge your typical reactions to stress. What 342 00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:36,676 Speaker 2: are their emotions, what are their behaviors, and what's their physiology? 343 00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:40,476 Speaker 2: And the behaviors one is really important because a it 344 00:19:40,516 --> 00:19:42,316 Speaker 2: serves as a signal when you are going for the 345 00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:45,236 Speaker 2: potato chips, the wine and yelling at your partner, that 346 00:19:45,396 --> 00:19:48,676 Speaker 2: probably means you're stressed. So now do an inventory about 347 00:19:48,676 --> 00:19:51,356 Speaker 2: what you need to do about it. And the reason 348 00:19:51,396 --> 00:19:54,076 Speaker 2: why it's really important for me to always kind of 349 00:19:54,116 --> 00:19:56,516 Speaker 2: go back and ask myself why something matters is that 350 00:19:56,756 --> 00:19:59,756 Speaker 2: ultimately none of us wants to do those destructive behaviors 351 00:19:59,756 --> 00:20:02,676 Speaker 2: to ourselves and to others. And so when you keep 352 00:20:02,716 --> 00:20:05,396 Speaker 2: asking yourself why and you understand the bigger picture, one 353 00:20:05,396 --> 00:20:07,876 Speaker 2: of the things it does, it's like I need that 354 00:20:08,036 --> 00:20:10,436 Speaker 2: source of support to help we change the world. So 355 00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:13,636 Speaker 2: I think it increases your ability to relate to others 356 00:20:13,636 --> 00:20:16,236 Speaker 2: in a way that can maybe help you in what 357 00:20:16,276 --> 00:20:19,356 Speaker 2: you're trying to achieve, versus them being a distraction that's 358 00:20:19,396 --> 00:20:22,756 Speaker 2: preventing you from doing what you need to achieve effectively. 359 00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:26,316 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is so interesting because you initially defined stress 360 00:20:26,356 --> 00:20:29,756 Speaker 1: as the demands of the situation exceed your resources to cope, 361 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,916 Speaker 1: And I think what I'm hearing from you is we 362 00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:34,476 Speaker 1: often have more resources than we think, we're just really 363 00:20:34,556 --> 00:20:37,156 Speaker 1: hesitant to ask for them, to admit that we actually 364 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,716 Speaker 1: need that kind of support in those resources. And so 365 00:20:40,236 --> 00:20:43,276 Speaker 1: when we think through this lens, which is my stress 366 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,556 Speaker 1: has a purpose because I really care about these end outcomes, 367 00:20:46,836 --> 00:20:49,156 Speaker 1: it can lead us to feel less sheepish about asking 368 00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:51,516 Speaker 1: a friend for help, asking a loved one if they're 369 00:20:51,556 --> 00:20:53,796 Speaker 1: willing to give us a hand. It's hard for all 370 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,876 Speaker 1: of us to ask people for help. It's one of 371 00:20:55,876 --> 00:20:56,756 Speaker 1: the hardest things. 372 00:20:57,276 --> 00:21:00,836 Speaker 2: And what's interesting is when we don't ask somebody for help, 373 00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:04,596 Speaker 2: it's often because there is something that we're uncertain about, 374 00:21:04,716 --> 00:21:07,876 Speaker 2: or feel threatened about, we're worried about. One of the 375 00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:10,596 Speaker 2: ways I interpret what you're saying is that when you 376 00:21:10,676 --> 00:21:14,396 Speaker 2: kind of reframe your stress, the people that seem like 377 00:21:14,476 --> 00:21:19,916 Speaker 2: demands actually become resources. Yes, you can view them more 378 00:21:20,036 --> 00:21:23,516 Speaker 2: as resources versus as demands. You go from thinking of 379 00:21:23,596 --> 00:21:26,316 Speaker 2: it as the person who's taking away from my ability 380 00:21:26,356 --> 00:21:29,916 Speaker 2: to prepare for class to the person who is helping 381 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,356 Speaker 2: me and can help me in what do I need 382 00:21:32,396 --> 00:21:35,676 Speaker 2: to do to make this difference in the lives of others? 383 00:21:37,316 --> 00:21:40,556 Speaker 1: Oh, that's so nice. You know, you've taught us how 384 00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:43,676 Speaker 1: changing our attitudes towards stress can lead to better outcomes, 385 00:21:43,716 --> 00:21:46,316 Speaker 1: and also how it is that we can cultivate this 386 00:21:46,396 --> 00:21:48,636 Speaker 1: kind of mindset. But of course, there are lots of 387 00:21:48,676 --> 00:21:52,556 Speaker 1: situations where we overshoot and a shift in mindset might 388 00:21:52,596 --> 00:21:56,116 Speaker 1: not be enough to tamp down that response. So what 389 00:21:56,156 --> 00:22:00,276 Speaker 1: other techniques would you recommend help us to just lower 390 00:22:00,356 --> 00:22:03,196 Speaker 1: our stress response overall in these kinds of situations. What 391 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,796 Speaker 1: are the types of things that you do adubat to 392 00:22:05,916 --> 00:22:06,836 Speaker 1: manage your stress? 393 00:22:07,996 --> 00:22:12,796 Speaker 2: So I am I'm. 394 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:14,196 Speaker 1: A big meditator, darn. I was hoping you wouldn't say meditation. 395 00:22:14,396 --> 00:22:18,116 Speaker 2: I know, I know, and I couldn't at one point too, 396 00:22:18,436 --> 00:22:22,036 Speaker 2: you know. And I remember, like when I was first 397 00:22:22,276 --> 00:22:25,596 Speaker 2: trying to meditate, I just fall asleep each time, like 398 00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:29,716 Speaker 2: give me five minutes. I am out immediately. But I 399 00:22:29,796 --> 00:22:32,916 Speaker 2: realize that I really need to slow my mind down. 400 00:22:32,996 --> 00:22:36,796 Speaker 2: You know, there's so much firing that for me when 401 00:22:36,836 --> 00:22:39,716 Speaker 2: I sit and I'm just present first thing in the morning, 402 00:22:40,556 --> 00:22:44,196 Speaker 2: that allows me to just have a different response to 403 00:22:44,276 --> 00:22:46,316 Speaker 2: the many things that will come my way during the day. 404 00:22:46,796 --> 00:22:49,196 Speaker 2: And I say that, and I don't like sounding woo 405 00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:51,596 Speaker 2: woo like I don't like sounding like that person. 406 00:22:51,676 --> 00:22:55,156 Speaker 1: Hey, meditation is science based, so there's nothing woo about it. 407 00:22:55,276 --> 00:22:57,476 Speaker 2: I have learned in my life that it's something that 408 00:22:57,556 --> 00:23:00,556 Speaker 2: I need, yeah, because it slows me down, and it's 409 00:23:00,556 --> 00:23:04,236 Speaker 2: been so helpful. Taking out some time to just kind 410 00:23:04,276 --> 00:23:07,436 Speaker 2: of be present with yourself helps you to think clearly 411 00:23:07,556 --> 00:23:11,476 Speaker 2: and act deliberately instead of being reactive. So one of 412 00:23:11,476 --> 00:23:15,516 Speaker 2: the types of meditations I engage in focuses on body scanning. 413 00:23:15,836 --> 00:23:18,396 Speaker 2: So you start with your head and you scan and 414 00:23:18,556 --> 00:23:22,516 Speaker 2: you just notice each of your bodily sensations. Because the 415 00:23:22,556 --> 00:23:26,636 Speaker 2: idea behind this is that any reaction we typically have 416 00:23:27,516 --> 00:23:32,356 Speaker 2: is preceded by a physical sensation, and so if we 417 00:23:32,516 --> 00:23:37,036 Speaker 2: can detect and be good at understanding or feeling our sensations, 418 00:23:37,396 --> 00:23:43,356 Speaker 2: then that's preempting our reacting immediately. And so I body 419 00:23:43,396 --> 00:23:46,956 Speaker 2: scan regularly and I find it to be incredibly helpful. 420 00:23:47,716 --> 00:23:53,916 Speaker 2: The other thing, honestly, it's just taking a moment to breathe. 421 00:23:53,956 --> 00:23:56,236 Speaker 2: That minute that I find myself like I'm overwhelmed and 422 00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:57,836 Speaker 2: I have this and that to do, and the this 423 00:23:57,916 --> 00:24:07,676 Speaker 2: isn't working whatever. Stop breathe, breathe, just breathe, and it 424 00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:13,636 Speaker 2: just slows things down in a unique way that then 425 00:24:13,756 --> 00:24:16,116 Speaker 2: lets you say, Okay, how am I feeling right now? 426 00:24:16,196 --> 00:24:19,556 Speaker 2: Let me take an inventory. That's what I often do. 427 00:24:19,596 --> 00:24:22,676 Speaker 2: I need to pause and take an inventory instead of 428 00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:27,596 Speaker 2: just trying to push through, stop and pause. 429 00:24:29,556 --> 00:24:32,396 Speaker 1: As you look into the future of stress research, what 430 00:24:32,836 --> 00:24:33,756 Speaker 1: excites you most? 431 00:24:33,796 --> 00:24:33,916 Speaker 3: So? 432 00:24:33,996 --> 00:24:37,676 Speaker 1: What are you are you most hoping that researcher's crack. 433 00:24:38,636 --> 00:24:43,956 Speaker 2: I really want people to be better at understanding when 434 00:24:43,996 --> 00:24:47,916 Speaker 2: they're stressed, because you are the only person that's with 435 00:24:47,996 --> 00:24:51,436 Speaker 2: you twenty four to seven. And so what I'm most 436 00:24:51,476 --> 00:24:55,236 Speaker 2: excited about are some of the technologies that will allow 437 00:24:55,316 --> 00:24:59,396 Speaker 2: people to notice when they're stressed. Is there a buzzing 438 00:24:59,476 --> 00:25:02,716 Speaker 2: thing on your finger that tells you that your blood 439 00:25:02,716 --> 00:25:06,596 Speaker 2: pressure is super high right now? Pay attention. Is there 440 00:25:06,956 --> 00:25:09,596 Speaker 2: some type of device that is telling you, Okay, here's 441 00:25:09,596 --> 00:25:13,516 Speaker 2: what your cardiovascular reactivity is looking like right now, there's 442 00:25:13,556 --> 00:25:17,796 Speaker 2: a spike right here. Breathe a little bit. And so, 443 00:25:18,836 --> 00:25:23,196 Speaker 2: as technology develops and can even kind of help us 444 00:25:23,236 --> 00:25:25,756 Speaker 2: in noticing some of these things and can just kind 445 00:25:25,796 --> 00:25:27,276 Speaker 2: of like I think of it as like that blinking 446 00:25:27,356 --> 00:25:30,076 Speaker 2: light that says, hey, pay attention, then I think that'll 447 00:25:30,116 --> 00:25:32,676 Speaker 2: help us in being able to give ourselves what we need, 448 00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:36,996 Speaker 2: and that ultimately means it will be healthier and happier. 449 00:25:37,556 --> 00:25:40,276 Speaker 1: So that's interesting because I feel like I'm sort of 450 00:25:40,316 --> 00:25:42,836 Speaker 1: excited about technology, and I want to get your thoughts 451 00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,916 Speaker 1: on this, because on the one hand, I think that 452 00:25:44,996 --> 00:25:48,276 Speaker 1: kind of self awareness and understanding is so critical. On 453 00:25:48,316 --> 00:25:51,836 Speaker 1: the other hand, we're trying to measure so much, and 454 00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:54,956 Speaker 1: all these measurements are also just proxies of stress. Right, 455 00:25:55,316 --> 00:25:59,516 Speaker 1: too much vigilance around our physiological states and or our 456 00:25:59,556 --> 00:26:03,316 Speaker 1: mental states can breed almost a new kind of anxiety, 457 00:26:03,436 --> 00:26:06,156 Speaker 1: like a meta layer of anxiety. Do you feel in 458 00:26:06,156 --> 00:26:09,596 Speaker 1: any way that there's limits to how much we should 459 00:26:09,636 --> 00:26:11,756 Speaker 1: be in tune with our body and minds, because at 460 00:26:11,756 --> 00:26:14,956 Speaker 1: a certain point it can be so excessive where you 461 00:26:15,036 --> 00:26:17,076 Speaker 1: just forget, like, you know what, I just need to 462 00:26:17,156 --> 00:26:20,396 Speaker 1: kind of exist too, And I don't need my little 463 00:26:20,796 --> 00:26:22,916 Speaker 1: phone or my watch or my ring buzzing at me 464 00:26:22,996 --> 00:26:25,476 Speaker 1: telling me that I'm stressed in any given moment because 465 00:26:25,716 --> 00:26:27,316 Speaker 1: I'm just you know, I'm hanging out with my friends 466 00:26:27,356 --> 00:26:29,636 Speaker 1: and I don't know, maybe I don't want the biofeedback. 467 00:26:29,956 --> 00:26:35,276 Speaker 2: Yes, The thing about stress research, and I guess much research, 468 00:26:35,396 --> 00:26:37,556 Speaker 2: is that you have to know yourself and know what 469 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:41,516 Speaker 2: works for you and what doesn't. If you're the type 470 00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:44,796 Speaker 2: of person where the constant monitoring will be more stressful, 471 00:26:44,836 --> 00:26:47,476 Speaker 2: then you shouldn't constantly monitor. But if you're the type 472 00:26:47,476 --> 00:26:51,236 Speaker 2: of person where the monitoring makes you say, ooh, I 473 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,076 Speaker 2: only got two hours of sleep last night, but I 474 00:26:53,116 --> 00:26:55,436 Speaker 2: need to get more and I know and that helps 475 00:26:55,476 --> 00:26:58,676 Speaker 2: you and helps change your behavior, then do it. So 476 00:26:58,876 --> 00:27:00,716 Speaker 2: for me, I am one of those people like I'm 477 00:27:00,716 --> 00:27:03,196 Speaker 2: hard enough on myself, so I don't need a buzzing thing. 478 00:27:03,636 --> 00:27:05,956 Speaker 2: I need to be more gentle. But how I use 479 00:27:05,996 --> 00:27:08,716 Speaker 2: this technology is to say, like, I'm kind of feeling tired, 480 00:27:09,116 --> 00:27:11,996 Speaker 2: and how much rest did I get? Oh wow, I've 481 00:27:12,036 --> 00:27:14,836 Speaker 2: been in the danger zone for five days. Let me 482 00:27:15,716 --> 00:27:18,916 Speaker 2: do something that will remind me to get in bed early. 483 00:27:19,836 --> 00:27:24,916 Speaker 2: So if you can use it lovingly and gently in 484 00:27:24,956 --> 00:27:28,476 Speaker 2: a way that will help you behave in a healthy 485 00:27:28,556 --> 00:27:32,236 Speaker 2: way for you, that's what I'm talking about. I also 486 00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:35,316 Speaker 2: wouldn't want us to over use our technology and rely 487 00:27:35,436 --> 00:27:37,636 Speaker 2: on it to tell us the things that we need 488 00:27:37,676 --> 00:27:39,756 Speaker 2: to rely on our minds and bodies to tell us. 489 00:27:40,116 --> 00:27:43,516 Speaker 2: I just think of it as another metric to use 490 00:27:43,756 --> 00:27:47,116 Speaker 2: to paint a holistic picture of what's going on with you. 491 00:27:47,636 --> 00:27:49,836 Speaker 2: And because it's so hard to be in tune with 492 00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:52,236 Speaker 2: what our bodies are doing, because we've ignored our bodies 493 00:27:52,236 --> 00:27:55,836 Speaker 2: for so long, these technologies give us greater insight that 494 00:27:55,916 --> 00:27:57,476 Speaker 2: we wouldn't ordinarily have. 495 00:27:58,116 --> 00:28:00,516 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I think that's exactly right. So 496 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:02,836 Speaker 1: you've been doing this work for a while, and I 497 00:28:02,916 --> 00:28:06,036 Speaker 1: wonder in your years of doing stress research, whether there's 498 00:28:06,676 --> 00:28:09,996 Speaker 1: any example that's particularly salient for you where someone reached 499 00:28:09,996 --> 00:28:12,276 Speaker 1: out to you and said, Madupe, you changed the game 500 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:15,076 Speaker 1: for me, like you really really helped me manage the 501 00:28:15,156 --> 00:28:18,796 Speaker 1: stressful situation or change my mindset. Are there any personal 502 00:28:18,836 --> 00:28:20,956 Speaker 1: testimonials that you can share with us so we can 503 00:28:21,036 --> 00:28:23,156 Speaker 1: see the impact of your research in the wild? 504 00:28:23,956 --> 00:28:26,836 Speaker 2: You know, the biggest example I have is a couple 505 00:28:26,876 --> 00:28:28,996 Speaker 2: of years ago, I was talking to a friend and 506 00:28:29,036 --> 00:28:32,476 Speaker 2: she was super super stressed and I literally just asked 507 00:28:32,476 --> 00:28:34,996 Speaker 2: her what do you need? And she said, I need 508 00:28:34,996 --> 00:28:39,556 Speaker 2: somebody to accompany me to walk through of her home 509 00:28:39,716 --> 00:28:42,796 Speaker 2: because she was closing on it the next day. And 510 00:28:42,876 --> 00:28:46,436 Speaker 2: you know that's stressful, Like you're worried, like am I 511 00:28:46,476 --> 00:28:48,796 Speaker 2: getting ripped off? Is the microwave going to work is 512 00:28:48,796 --> 00:28:52,436 Speaker 2: that and just having somebody else with you to help 513 00:28:52,516 --> 00:28:56,316 Speaker 2: out with that is huge. And sometimes you'd think you 514 00:28:56,316 --> 00:28:58,396 Speaker 2: have to do it by yourself and then no one's 515 00:28:58,436 --> 00:29:00,596 Speaker 2: going to have time for you. Yeah, or everyone has 516 00:29:00,636 --> 00:29:04,276 Speaker 2: busy schedules, which they do, but can you at least 517 00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:07,636 Speaker 2: ask first and let someone say no. But more often 518 00:29:07,636 --> 00:29:10,116 Speaker 2: than not, people will make it work because if you've 519 00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:13,796 Speaker 2: cultivated those relationships, they'll move things around their schedule to 520 00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:16,756 Speaker 2: be there for you. And that sticks with me because 521 00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:19,076 Speaker 2: it's something that I also need to remind myself to do. 522 00:29:19,556 --> 00:29:22,196 Speaker 2: Ask myself, what do I need right now? What do 523 00:29:22,276 --> 00:29:26,276 Speaker 2: I need? It's simple. So many of the answers to 524 00:29:26,316 --> 00:29:29,556 Speaker 2: our stress are within us, and we just need to ask, 525 00:29:29,956 --> 00:29:30,716 Speaker 2: just need to ask. 526 00:30:02,076 --> 00:30:05,276 Speaker 1: Hey, thanks so much for listening. On next week's episode, 527 00:30:05,316 --> 00:30:08,796 Speaker 1: we hear from comedian Hassan and haj. In our conversation, 528 00:30:09,196 --> 00:30:11,916 Speaker 1: Usin gets candid about the downsides of his sudden rise 529 00:30:11,916 --> 00:30:15,516 Speaker 1: in popularity and how it's fed an unhealthy obsession with 530 00:30:15,636 --> 00:30:19,356 Speaker 1: being liked. He tells me he's now reconsidering his future 531 00:30:19,356 --> 00:30:20,636 Speaker 1: in comedy. 532 00:30:20,676 --> 00:30:22,716 Speaker 3: Being an artist is who I am. I do have 533 00:30:22,796 --> 00:30:25,796 Speaker 3: this need to express myself, but I have to find 534 00:30:25,836 --> 00:30:30,756 Speaker 3: new mediums as my life continues that are less and 535 00:30:30,876 --> 00:30:33,956 Speaker 3: less and less attached to whether people like me or not. 536 00:30:44,196 --> 00:30:47,156 Speaker 1: A Slight Change of Plans is created, written, and executive 537 00:30:47,196 --> 00:30:50,836 Speaker 1: produced by me Maya Schunker. The Slight Change Family includes 538 00:30:50,876 --> 00:30:54,996 Speaker 1: our showrunner Tyler Green, our senior editor Kate Parkinson Morgan, 539 00:30:55,396 --> 00:31:00,076 Speaker 1: our sound engineer Andrew Vastola, and our associate producer Sarah McCrae. 540 00:31:00,676 --> 00:31:03,916 Speaker 1: Louis Scara wrote our delightful theme song, and Ginger Smith 541 00:31:03,996 --> 00:31:07,356 Speaker 1: helped arrange the vocals. A Slight Change of Plans is 542 00:31:07,356 --> 00:31:10,796 Speaker 1: a production of Pushkin Industries, so big thanks to everyone there, 543 00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:15,356 Speaker 1: and of course a very special thanks to Jimmy Lee. 544 00:31:16,236 --> 00:31:18,756 Speaker 1: You can follow A Slight Change of Plans on Instagram 545 00:31:18,796 --> 00:31:20,076 Speaker 1: at doctor a Mayah Schucker. 546 00:31:41,836 --> 00:31:45,316 Speaker 2: Everything in moderation, That's what this is about. 547 00:31:45,236 --> 00:31:51,756 Speaker 1: Except for Girl Scout cookies, but there's no moderation there. Yes,