1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: Hey, they're folks. It is Saturday, December sixth. Couples who 2 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: don't fight? Should we envy them? Should we feel sorry 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: for them? Should we be trying to be like them? 4 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: Is that the question? Today? Robes on this Saturday, Welcome 5 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: to this episode of Amy and TJ. Robes this idea. 6 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: It sounds great. Couples who don't fight. George Cloonian his. 7 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,200 Speaker 2: Wife, they don't fight, sounds amazing. 8 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: Taylor Swift and her fiance Trevisent Derek, Travis Kelsey, they 9 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: don't fight. 10 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 2: What would it be like to be them? 11 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: Shouldn't we all aspire to that? Don't we all want 12 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: to avoid fighting with our significant other? 13 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 2: Well? I think you just said it in a way 14 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 2: where the most important word of that last sentence you 15 00:00:55,560 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 2: uttered was avoid. Okay, because look, I yes, like everyone 16 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 2: who read the headlines this week, Travis Kelcey and George 17 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 2: Clooney talking on Travis's podcast about how neither one of 18 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 2: them fight with their significant other. 19 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: Now, this came out a while back with George Clooney 20 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: and the Mall Clooney right several months back, but they 21 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,119 Speaker 1: said they have never once correct. 22 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 2: He said, in the last ten years, to be specific, 23 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 2: they have not had one fight in the last ten years. 24 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 2: How does that sound to you? 25 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: I'm curious. I have questions that we will get into, 26 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: and one of those is what the definition of a 27 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: fight is? Are we all in agreement on what that is? Now? 28 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: Tell folks what and you got more specifics here? What 29 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 1: did Travis Kelsey say? 30 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 2: Okay? Actually have the exchange. So this happened actually this 31 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: week on Travis Kelsey's podcast with his brother, and they 32 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 2: had George Clooney on as a guest, and Travis actually 33 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 2: was pressing George Clooney about this comment he made earlier 34 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 2: this year that went viral where he said he has 35 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 2: not fought with his wife Aamal in more than ten years. 36 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 2: So he was like, come on, is that real? Like 37 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 2: he was pushing him, but at the same time, he 38 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 2: also admitted that he is in the same boat as 39 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: George Clooney. So here is what the back and forth was. 40 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 2: So he was pressing him and then he said, well, 41 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 2: it's only been two and a half years, and you're right, 42 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 2: I haven't gotten into an argument never once. Okay, that 43 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 2: is what Travis Kelsey said about his relationship with Taylor Swift. 44 00:02:55,160 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 2: I haven't gotten into an argument? Never wont Okay, we. 45 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: Need to get some base definitions and rules here what 46 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: we're talking about. Because the idea that two human beings 47 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: who spend that much time together home together don't have 48 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: a disagreement, it's impossible. That's fair, right, I. 49 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 2: Would think so? 50 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: Uh huh. 51 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,800 Speaker 2: But he didn't say disagreement or fight. He said, haven't 52 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 2: gotten into an argument? 53 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 1: Argument? 54 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 2: Okay, he didn't say haven't gotten into a fight. He 55 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 2: actually used the word argument, which I think is different 56 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 2: than fight. 57 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: What's the distinction between a fight and an argument? 58 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 2: I feel like an argument could be an exchange of 59 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 2: ideas that are not aligned with one another, you're disagreeing. 60 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 2: A fight, I feel like, might mean yelling or a 61 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 2: heated exchange or something that's emotional. An argument, I feel like, 62 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 2: could be a level headed disagreement. 63 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: Okay. Can a couple have a fight short of the emotion, 64 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: short of yelling, short of the things we are accustomed 65 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: to being a fight to somebody sleeping on a couch, 66 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: to being cold in the house for a little while. 67 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: Can you do that thing with a disagreement? Take out 68 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: all those elements, and do we not call it a fight? 69 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: Still is the disagreement of itself constitute a fight between 70 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: a couple. 71 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:29,359 Speaker 2: I think this is semantics obviously, yes, and I so yes, 72 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 2: And that is what some people have asked, like they 73 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 2: want to know more, We need more information. Are you 74 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 2: saying you never disagree or are you saying it never 75 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 2: gets to a place where you actually have hurt feelings? 76 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 2: So either way, I find that to be almost surreal. 77 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 1: You said that earlier hurt feelings is I think an 78 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 1: important element to a fight. Yes, no matter how calm 79 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: everybody is, if hurt feelings are involved with somebody you love, 80 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: where this is the fight? 81 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 2: Babe. You do not raise your voice, extremely rare. I 82 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 2: think maybe one time I've heard in three years and 83 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 2: it was only for a nanosecond, and you even apologize 84 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 2: for raising you You do not raise your voice. There 85 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 2: is no yelling or screaming when it comes to you. 86 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 2: There's no visceral emotional reaction coming from you. However, my 87 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: feelings have been incredibly hurt and your feelings have been hurt. Now, yes, 88 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,239 Speaker 2: those are fights we have had. We have had fights. 89 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 2: I actually so I'm curious. I actually want to ask 90 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 2: you this. We haven't had this conversation ahead of time. 91 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 2: I was doing the math from the moment we were together. 92 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 2: How long before you would say we had our first 93 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 2: whatever fight disagreement where we both had hurt feelings and 94 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 2: were scared, like, oh no, this isn't going well. Three months, 95 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 2: that's exactly what? Yes? Yeah, so three months, Okay, we 96 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 2: are in agreement. That's amazing. I actually feel so comfort. 97 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: Didn't buy that. I actually was like d D doing 98 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 2: the math. I'm like, three months, yes, and so, yes, 99 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 2: we had our first disagreement, argument, fight, whatever. 100 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 1: Holy hell? What have we done? Scared? 101 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: Yes, I'm so scared. I thought I knew this person? 102 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: Who is this person? Why am I? Yes? Three months 103 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 2: to hear that? A very public couple who've had a 104 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 2: long history of other relationships, so it's not like their 105 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 2: newbies or young they don't know any better. Had been 106 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 2: together for two and a half years. You and I 107 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 2: have been together for three years, and they he said, 108 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 2: we have never gotten into an argument, and then he 109 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 2: doubled down, never once. That to me is a shocking statement. 110 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,559 Speaker 1: It is, but shouldn't that be something we all aspire to? Now? 111 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: Let me be flippant, Let me be the cynic Let 112 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: me be the social media, latrol out there, or you 113 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: look at this and you're dismissive. Well, of course, yet 114 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: your life is perfect. You're a super Bowl champion, you're 115 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: the biggest pop star in the world. Everything is taking 116 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: care of Everything is lovely. All you have to do 117 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: is focus on each other. That what is there to 118 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: disagree about? Which island we're going to go to, which 119 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: private resort is going to be rented out for us. 120 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: Money takes care of everything. 121 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: It takes care of these these things. You are able 122 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: to live a charmed life and don't have challenges that 123 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: other relationships might, including we have to move here from 124 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: my job, our kids are gonna have to do this, 125 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: how are we gonna pay for this? We don't have 126 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: these problems. We don't even have problems with the holidays. 127 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: Do we go to your family and my family? No, 128 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: Let's just fly all of our families here to us. 129 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 2: Right, there's some amazing Greek island. Let's just all end 130 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: up there, right. 131 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: And I heard someone made that argument in an article 132 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: that was criticizing George Clooney. I was like, well, yeah, 133 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: I guess I wouldn't have an argument either from my 134 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: house on Lake Como. Yes, everything is great and it 135 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: could possibly be now for the sake of everybody else Robes, 136 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: this is not normal. This is not from the professional 137 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: in this field healthy. 138 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 2: Okay exactly. So I was fascinated by this. It is 139 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 2: important for me to say the next part of the 140 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 2: conversation that happened between Travis Kelcey and George Clooney. 141 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,319 Speaker 1: Oh this what you filled me in the kitchen that 142 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 1: got us going. Yes, folks, we actually stopped each other. 143 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: We said stop talking because we got into it so 144 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 1: heated after you gave me this line that we said, Okay, 145 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: we need to go record right now. 146 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 2: I think this next line that came out of George 147 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 2: Clooney's mouth speaks volumes. And I actually and look, it's 148 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,839 Speaker 2: not as if I want to feel like, see that's 149 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 2: not what I would one, but I actually want everyone 150 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 2: to actually take this in and consider this and ask 151 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 2: themselves if this is something that feels healthy or okay. So, 152 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 2: George went on to say that he doesn't pick fights 153 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 2: with his wife because it's futile. Here were his exact words. 154 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 2: You're never going to win the argument, so why even 155 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 2: get in it. And then Travis Kelsey responded with so true. 156 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 2: Your reaction, babe, Okay. 157 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: Let me tone it down here for this reason, I 158 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 1: want to ask you first, you didn't just read it. 159 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 1: You saw you saw the clip, right, yes, so you 160 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 1: saw their demeanors and how this was delivered. Let me 161 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: ask you that for context. Was it coming off in 162 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,199 Speaker 1: a joking manner? Just boys being boys kind of a thing? 163 00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 2: Yes, it's guys kind of sharing their survey tips in 164 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 2: a way. Is what it felt like to me, Like 165 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 2: you're never gonna win the arguments, so I even get 166 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 2: into it. So true, it's that kind of a thing 167 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 2: like I In fact, but Travis has said in previous interviews, 168 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 2: and I think this is charming and Okay, he's talked 169 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 2: about how smart Taylor Swift is and how much smarter 170 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 2: she is than him, and how much he's learned from her. 171 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 2: I think that's awesome. I think the same thing about you, babe. 172 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 2: I have watched you, listen to you and can actually 173 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 2: take a step back and say, damn, I'm watching this 174 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:40,559 Speaker 2: man who I am in awe of and respect tremendously, 175 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 2: and when he says something, it turns out almost always 176 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 2: to be true. And that has actually guided me in 177 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 2: moments where my ego might flare up, or I might think, 178 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 2: oh I want to and I'm like, you know what, 179 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:57,199 Speaker 2: give it a beat. Let's see how it all unfolds. 180 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 2: Because I see his brain and I respect it, and 181 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 2: so in a weird way, I not that I would 182 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:09,200 Speaker 2: stay silent to defer because I don't want to. I'm 183 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 2: avoiding a fight. But I actually admire your reasoning oftentimes 184 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 2: and your intellect and your patients in ways in some 185 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 2: ways that I don't I recognize I don't have. So 186 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 2: I heard Travis say that, and I was like, Okay, 187 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 2: I'm gonna give that to you. And that's really sweet 188 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 2: and cool that you respect Taylor enough or you're like, 189 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 2: you know what, even if I might think differently, he 190 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 2: defers in a sense because he's like I see her brilliance, 191 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 2: I see her intellect, and I'm like, you know what, 192 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,719 Speaker 2: let me learn. That's really cool. I think actually, as 193 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 2: some like big you know, football player who probably has 194 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 2: a big ego and it is used to being the 195 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 2: big man on campus. The fact that he could say 196 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: that about his fiance, I think that's really cool and 197 00:11:51,360 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 2: I understand it to a point. However, it folks the throat, Yes, yes, 198 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 2: I think it is dangerous to avoid a conversation that 199 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 2: might be difficult because you don't think you're going to 200 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 2: win the conversation. 201 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: I think everybody agrees with that. Right, they are giving 202 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: us a reason to have this conversation and a reminder, 203 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: it's fine, I just want to I don't know. Actually, 204 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: we don't know anything about their actual relationships. The only 205 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: thing we know is what they've told us. Correct and 206 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: so if they're telling us this and again, they could 207 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: have been in a joking manner. But it did get 208 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: a lot of people's attention, and it got a lot 209 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: of people talking about this very thing. And I think 210 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: we look at these couples and I think these are 211 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: two couples. If you would ask people in the world 212 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: who you aspire to be like, these are perfect couples, 213 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: perfect beautiful, jet setting, celebrity, wonderful lives, right, you would 214 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: want to be like them. And now to hear the 215 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: relationships are the relationships are perfect? Broke? 216 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 2: It is. It could be aspirational and it could be 217 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:10,080 Speaker 2: annoying like it's hashtag couple goals, but also could feel 218 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 2: defeating if you're not in that relationship. If you fight 219 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 2: all the time with your significant other, if you're constantly 220 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 2: feeling like you're not jibing when you see and you hear. 221 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 2: So it's one thing to see it on Instagram and 222 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,679 Speaker 2: to see it on the red carpet and to see 223 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 2: it in video and what but to hear them say 224 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:38,200 Speaker 2: we never fight, that can actually be really depressing and 225 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 2: hard to take in, Like, really, your gorgeous, you're rich, 226 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 2: and your relationships perfect. That's tough. And so it inspired 227 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 2: us to do a deeper dive on what the experts 228 00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:01,959 Speaker 2: think about this notion of couples who say, and that's 229 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 2: all we can base it on, say they never argue, 230 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,839 Speaker 2: they never fight. What do the experts say about that 231 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 2: kind of relationship? There is a consensus consensus, babe. I 232 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 2: have not found one licensed educated psychologist, psychiatrist, couples therapists 233 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 2: who believes that that is actually a sign of a 234 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 2: healthy relationship. Welcome back everyone. We are talking about those 235 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 2: perfect couples who just don't fight. And we're not saying 236 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 2: don't fight a lot. We're saying don't fight ever, never, 237 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 2: not once, not once. George and Lamal Clooney say in 238 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 2: ten years, never fought, never fight, single fight and now 239 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 2: we're hearing the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcey in their 240 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 2: entire two and a half year very public relationship. Travis 241 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 2: Kelcey said, they have never once gotten into an argument. 242 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: Why, Well, for me, that reads for them, I could 243 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: say George and them all not necessarily, but that reads 244 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: for some reason for Travis. 245 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 2: And do you want to believe that? Is that something 246 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 2: to aspire to? 247 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: I don't know. I've learned so much about you through conflict. 248 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 1: I've learned it. You are not I've learned a lot 249 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: about me. You are not who you are in your 250 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: good times. It is who you are in that difficult 251 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 1: in that trench, in that in those moments where you're challenged, 252 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: and sometimes you're challenged in a relationship by the one 253 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: you love and you need it like you need it 254 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 1: because it's going to come. There's going to be a 255 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: moment that you don't chewse that's going to challenge your 256 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 1: relationship and you have to know how to deal with that. 257 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: Travis and Taylor are going to get challenged at some point. 258 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: There's going to be some awkward something is going to 259 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: come up, and it has already. How they deal with it, 260 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,479 Speaker 1: I don't know, But that's just the reality of relationships. 261 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: I don't give a damn who you are so sure 262 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: if you say you haven't fought, haven't had an argument, 263 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's impossible for two human beings to 264 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 1: be together for ten years and not have a disagreement. Now, 265 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: if it leads to an argument or a fight, I 266 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: don't know. But obviously they haven't been in one hundred 267 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: percent agreement on everything for ten years. 268 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 2: And I'm not trying to not believe them. But I 269 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 2: also would say this, First of all, there are a 270 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 2: couple of things. How do you define an argument? 271 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: Yes? 272 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 2: Or a disagreement or a fight? 273 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: We disagree every day? 274 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 2: Yes, we agree every day exactly. 275 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 1: You don't fight every three months even. 276 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 2: We, I would say, would you agree we have not 277 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 2: had a fight in six months? 278 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 1: I can't remember the last one. 279 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,639 Speaker 2: I can't It was in June. 280 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 1: What is it about? 281 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 2: I don't want to get into it all that I win, 282 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:27,919 Speaker 2: But I would say that I have watched you, and 283 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 2: I have obviously witnessed myself choose to stay open and 284 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 2: to not be immediately defensive, and to learn and to 285 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 2: try to understand where the other person's coming from, and 286 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 2: that is on a fight that is actually progress, but 287 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 2: it only comes through disagreement or an acknowledgment of something 288 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 2: you weren't aware of, And when the other person who 289 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 2: you love and respect brings it up in a respectful way, 290 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 2: you can grow and get closer and understand each other better. 291 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,199 Speaker 2: I would not say that as an argument. That is 292 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 2: just a willingness to be open to recognizing that maybe 293 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 2: the way you do things rub somebody else the wrong way. 294 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 2: So if they've only if they've managed to just do that, 295 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 2: that's remarkable. We're there now, and I hope we stay there. 296 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 2: I'm sure there will be another fight. I hope. I 297 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 2: would love for there not to be. We've had enough 298 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 2: of them that I don't need any more, and I 299 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:38,880 Speaker 2: am incentivized to recognize that if you say something, it matters, 300 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,719 Speaker 2: and I need to pay attention and vice versa. I 301 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 2: hope where we respect where the other is coming from enough, 302 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 2: but it took a little while to get there. And 303 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 2: I would never think that we could go through the 304 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 2: rest of our lives without ever having another fight. That 305 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 2: would be a silly thing. I would be afraid to eat. 306 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 2: Put it out there. I wouldn't even want to be like, hey, 307 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 2: we haven't had a fight in six months, We're awesome. 308 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 2: Like I'd be like tomorrow, we're gonna be like having 309 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 2: the worst day ever. So I would want attend feint 310 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:13,959 Speaker 2: like that. 311 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,399 Speaker 1: But who in your family have you not had a 312 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 1: fight with? Who in your life that you've known for 313 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,679 Speaker 1: any period of time? Have you never gotten into a 314 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: conflict and argument what you would deem a fight? Everybody 315 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 1: you can name. 316 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 2: You have done that with every person I have loved, 317 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 2: I have fought with ever. 318 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 1: So it's I is it aspiration? No, no, no you uh no, no, 319 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,479 Speaker 1: get get into this. I asked you, this is there 320 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: a single give me? I said, find me, give me 321 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: the one person, the one professional out there who says 322 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,640 Speaker 1: this is aspirational, this is good, this is okay. And 323 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 1: you shot that down and I didn't believe it. 324 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 2: I searched. I searched all day long to try and 325 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 2: find one professional who knows a lot more than we 326 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 2: do that would say this is a sign of a 327 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 2: good relationship. And I found quite the opposite. Look, And 328 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 2: I do think and I want to give Travison. We 329 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 2: want to give Travison. Taylor and George Lamaal credit like, 330 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 2: we don't know how they're defining it, so we don't know, 331 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 2: like this is zero judgment on them. 332 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: But indament yet, Is this sparked a conversation actually between 333 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 1: us and relationships? 334 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 2: Yes, but I actually I found some really interesting and 335 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 2: I think this will make everybody feel better about their 336 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 2: own relationships, because that is part of it. This is 337 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 2: an unfair aspiration that I think we might impose on 338 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 2: ourselves because we hear things from Travis and George, thinking, shoot, 339 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 2: that's not how my relationship is. Maybe my relationship sucks. 340 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 2: I think the goal here is to make everybody feel 341 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 2: a little bit better about the fact that it's okay 342 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 2: to fight. In fact, a lot of therapists and most 343 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 2: psychologists will say it's a healthy thing to do. So 344 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 2: here's what psychology today. The therapist said, I read this, 345 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,919 Speaker 2: and I think I read this aloud to you. We've 346 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,440 Speaker 2: never had a fight. Honestly, this is one of the 347 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 2: most concerning things an engaged couple can ever share with 348 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 2: me during a marriage prep session. This is coming from 349 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 2: a therapist on psychology today. She said that they often say, 350 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 2: She'll here couples say this to her with big smiles tried, 351 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 2: and she's like, oh boy, we have a lot of 352 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 2: unpacking to do. Here's what she said, Here's what we 353 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 2: want you to know from a licensed therapist. Conflict is normal, 354 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 2: often necessary, and is a part of healthy relationships. Conflict 355 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 2: can be a catalyst for change, growth, and deeper intimacy. 356 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 2: Routinely avoiding conflict can actually backfire. And I agree with 357 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,440 Speaker 2: all of that, And she says, certainly we don't want 358 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 2: couples in destructive conflicts or incessant back bickering, but when 359 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 2: we engage with it well, conflict can be a catalyst 360 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 2: for growth and connection. So we should not avoid conflict. 361 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:15,360 Speaker 2: We should navigate the inevitable spats and misunderstandings more deftly. 362 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,199 Speaker 2: I love that that makes sense because you and I 363 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 2: disagree probably multiple times during a. 364 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 1: Day, every single first you in the morning, we're arguing 365 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: about something. 366 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 2: But the point is if I can say and get curious, 367 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:34,120 Speaker 2: why why is he feeling this way, and not take 368 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 2: it personally, that's a big thing he is in his 369 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,879 Speaker 2: you've got your thing. It probably has nothing to do 370 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 2: with me. But I think a lot of times as partners, 371 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 2: especially a couple who spends a lot of time together 372 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:49,239 Speaker 2: like we do. Maybe the egotistical natural reaction is to 373 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 2: be like, is he saying I did something? Why is 374 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 2: he mad at me? What did I do? And you 375 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: start to and that is so the wrong way to 376 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 2: go about it. So you get into this place where 377 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 2: you can just get curious about your partner's situation and 378 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 2: try to be of help and not take things personally. 379 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 2: I have learned, I can say this. I have learned 380 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 2: so much being in a relationship with you. I love you, 381 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:20,440 Speaker 2: I respect you, I like you, and I have been 382 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,639 Speaker 2: willing in a way that I haven't ever before to 383 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 2: recognize my role in conflict. Isn't that part of it? 384 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,680 Speaker 2: Like recognizing We all want to blame the other person. 385 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 2: But when you can take a step back and say, 386 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 2: what was my role in that conflict? It's life changing. 387 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 1: In the words of Patrick Swayzey, ditto, that's also I 388 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: am rooting for both of these couples. I admire quite frankly, 389 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: both of these couples. And when I heard you know what, 390 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: I have been around enough, we have talked to enough 391 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: people in our lives that when I heard those things, 392 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: I didn't go, oh, that's cool. I said, well, wait 393 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,960 Speaker 1: a minute, and again they just they could be saying 394 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,199 Speaker 1: it just off the cop. We're not supposed to take 395 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: it that seriously, but it is a worthy conversation and 396 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,360 Speaker 1: a thought to have about our own relationships. I love 397 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 1: that we don't fight. We just we don't love it too. 398 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 1: Disagree every single day about something we do. If we 399 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: have conflict, I guess it could be deemed conflict, but 400 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 1: it's resolved in such a way that it doesn't feel 401 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: like conflict. We have something every single day about the girls, 402 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 1: where the schedules go and who goes here? And when 403 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 1: are we flying there? 404 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 2: And well we're eating for lunch, Like any a fight 405 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 2: could have ruped over. 406 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 1: Anything, and just it today got crazy for us in 407 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: a lot of ways where I had to go here 408 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: and you had to go there, and I didn't want 409 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: to do this, and you and I had a plan 410 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 1: and it got messed up and it happens. We just 411 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: we have learned how to resolved conflict as soon as 412 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: we recognize it. And there's something in that to where 413 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: you know, what if people asked us, if we were 414 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 1: in the middle of an interview, we might sound like them. 415 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: We might sound exactly like George and them all, Travis and. 416 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 2: Taylor, but we would never say we don't fight. We 417 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 2: might maybe in five years that would be awesome, but 418 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 2: it only came through fighting and through Seriously, when you 419 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 2: go through a fight and it's painful as hell, you're like, 420 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 2: I do not what can I do to make sure 421 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 2: this doesn't happen? And it's not about it and it's 422 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,800 Speaker 2: not about avoidance, because that was the only red flag 423 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: I saw. And granted, he might have just been saying 424 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 2: this off the cuff and it's not. It's not when 425 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 2: he said, you're never gonna win the argument, so why 426 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 2: get in it? That made me a little freaked out 427 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 2: because I just want to point out, like, and again, 428 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 2: that might have just been some funny, little anecdotal thing 429 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,919 Speaker 2: he said, but I do heard it. 430 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: But you heard it. You didn't just read it, right. 431 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: I heard it, So how did it come across? 432 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 2: It's hard to know how what the level of depth 433 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 2: was in it, but I do. I do think it's 434 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: important to say this because this came from another therapist 435 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 2: who I thought was brilliant online. I actually said I 436 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 2: want to get her on the podcast. Yes, I loved her. 437 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,199 Speaker 2: She's out of South Carolina. This was really cool, and 438 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 2: I think this might resonate for a lot of people. 439 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 2: Many people hold back because they don't want to rock 440 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 2: the boat. They fear being rejected, They worry about pushing 441 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 2: their partner away. They assume their needs won't matter if 442 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 2: they speak up. But choosing silence can feel initially like 443 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 2: a way to protect the relationship, but in reality, it 444 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:54,360 Speaker 2: keeps partners from truly knowing one another, and silence can 445 00:26:54,400 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 2: mean avoidance, unmet needs, and growing distance between partners. So resentment, disconnection, 446 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,200 Speaker 2: unraveling of intimacy, those are all the things that can 447 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 2: happen if you don't speak up. Now. Look, I know 448 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 2: it's always some you're like, is this worth saying something about? 449 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 2: Is this worth me pointing out? But I do think 450 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 2: if you honor how you're feeling and you say it 451 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 2: in a respectful way, you've been really good about this. 452 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 2: Like explain to me, hey, babe, I know you and 453 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 2: I love you. But when you say this it can 454 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 2: come off as this. And if you just say things 455 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: the right way, it can still be painful to hear 456 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 2: and receive, But coming from a person you love who's 457 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,520 Speaker 2: saying it in a loving way, you can actually say, Okay, 458 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 2: I get it, I hear you, and I love you, 459 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,639 Speaker 2: and I don't want you to ever feel that way again. 460 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 2: And so that's maybe a disagreement, but it's something where 461 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 2: there is an understanding and you some one person has 462 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 2: to speak up. If you don't say anything, avoidance is 463 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 2: Apathy is the opposite of love. 464 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: Oh man. If you get to apathy, and. 465 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 2: That is the path you end up on when you 466 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:12,120 Speaker 2: don't speak up. 467 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: Sometimes you're right. I have learned more about you through 468 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 1: our disagreements than anything, and it helps me understand you 469 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 1: and quite frankly, love you differently, and quite frankly a 470 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: way that's necessary vulnerability, recognize some things in those moments. 471 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 1: So it's look, I'm rooting certainly for these couples. But 472 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: it was so interesting, and I think that was the 473 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: line that set me off when you told me the 474 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 1: George Claney line about why even bother you're gonna lose anyway, 475 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 1: You said you knew it because you actually set me up. 476 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: You said what you think about that, That's actually how 477 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,480 Speaker 1: you said to me, So you knew it was gonna 478 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: you knew how it was gonna react. 479 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 2: You're the opposite of that, and I respect the hell 480 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 2: out of that. So just remember that, guys, if you 481 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 2: say it in the right way and you say it 482 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 2: with love, it might sting initially, but I do think 483 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 2: that is the best way forward, because we're all learning, 484 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 2: aren't we all? So anyway, I just I thought it 485 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 2: was important we were just Look, we'd all love to 486 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 2: have a relationship where we didn't fight with our loved 487 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: one but. 488 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 1: Or and had houses only como. 489 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 2: Private planese people to cook and clean for us at all. 490 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 2: That might ease some of the argument that we envy 491 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 2: them more than just for the not fighting, is what 492 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 2: I'm saying. Oh but anyway, we hope that well, I know, 493 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 2: I guess everyone just feels maybe not so alone and 494 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 2: feels seen and heard. We've definitely fought, and we know 495 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 2: you probably do too, but hopefully it's with love and 496 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 2: understanding and without everyone. Thank you so much for listening 497 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,880 Speaker 2: to us. I made me robock alongside DJ Holmes. We'll 498 00:29:54,880 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 2: talk to you soon, y