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Speaker 1: I turned twenty five this year, y'all.

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Speaker 2: For the fifteenth time. Yep, dead ass, baby, I can't

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Speaker 2: wait to welcome you to the forty forty club. It's

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Speaker 2: Lyddy over here.

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Speaker 1: Oh hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos.

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Speaker 2: With our boys and reading each other publicly as a

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Speaker 2: form of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open

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Speaker 1: dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: We about to take philosof to our whole new.

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Speaker 2: Level dead ass. Start right now, story time.

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Speaker 1: This story will take y'all back to August twenty twenty three.

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Speaker 1: I'm playing scout team quarterback for Jackson's football team. Little

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Speaker 1: kids start talking shit, so I automatically go into competitive

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Speaker 1: dad mode, getting outside until the offensive line don't even

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Speaker 1: block the edge rushers. I'm gonna get outside of them

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Speaker 1: so they don't block the edge rushers. I got on

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Speaker 1: my ear maxes on the turf. It's a little slippery.

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Speaker 1: I don't care because I'm in competition mode. Snap comes,

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Speaker 1: Why lady, why lady? Catch the ball? Boom? First edge

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Speaker 1: rusher comes. If I'm not as I juped him, he fell.

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Speaker 1: What I didn't know what that moment was that he

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Speaker 1: took my MCL with him. So after I did, I

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Speaker 1: went to explode and it was no more ass left.

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Speaker 1: I started running and my leg immediately gave out. They

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Speaker 1: like they're looking at me, like coach the vale, what happened?

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Speaker 1: I said, stop, stop, started, it's too much huther. Go

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Speaker 1: back to the huddle, go back. I immediately called in

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Speaker 1: the other quarterback, which is a twelve year old kid,

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Speaker 1: and I say, you don't run this play. So I'm

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Speaker 1: standing on the side right. So the jackson comes over

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Speaker 1: the dad you all right? But yeah, yeah, why he

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Speaker 1: goes Your knee is swollen. O, my knee has swollen up.

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Speaker 1: Man big I was on the spot started swowing up

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Speaker 1: on the spot. So I was a little bit nervous,

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Speaker 1: but I can't show the nerves to the kids. So

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Speaker 1: go home that night, get in the cold top, put

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Speaker 1: some ice on my knee. At this point, my mind

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Speaker 1: is still saying you twenty five divide, You'll be all

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Speaker 1: right for my body. When I woke up the next morning, man,

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Speaker 1: my knee was the size of a watermelon. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: it's in that way since it is now January and

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Speaker 1: my knee still so.

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Speaker 2: I used to call you Wolverine because you used to

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Speaker 2: heal fast. But uh, you know, when you approach the

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Speaker 2: top of the roller coaster and we're about to fall

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Speaker 2: down to the other side. Baby long, you don't.

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Speaker 1: Got to describe. You don't got to describe forty like that.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to describe for it. This is very,

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Speaker 1: very wrong. Okay, my knee is taken a lot longer

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Speaker 1: to heal. I am back now.

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Speaker 2: You are back.

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Speaker 1: I am back now. But I will say though for

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Speaker 1: all of the end of twenty twenty three, man, I

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Speaker 1: was limping. Bro I ain't never experienced this in my

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Speaker 1: life ever ever, So my knee was jacked up. My

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Speaker 1: body was saying, welcome to forty karaoke.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you got something for us today.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take it back to the old school.

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Speaker 2: Oh how old is it? Forty years old?

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Speaker 1: The song? Maybe forty? Matter of fact, this song is

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Speaker 1: older than forty.

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Speaker 2: Oh is it?

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Speaker 1: I feel good?

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Speaker 2: Get it? I knew that I would none ran under.

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Speaker 1: I feel and you know that I would so good,

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Speaker 1: so good I got of you.

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Speaker 2: It's the moves for me.

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Speaker 1: My ney really just got sore again, just doing.

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Speaker 2: Nothing careful now because it's under armor with the shorts

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Speaker 2: to me today to get up.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you that up is cute. Earlier I

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Speaker 1: heard me telling you telling them, don't let case, don't

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Speaker 1: let them shame k into putting on makeup. I don't

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Speaker 1: give a ship no more. I'm at forty. I'm putting y'all.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing this and exactly what I was gonna wear today.

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Speaker 1: Because I was about to go to the gym. I

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Speaker 1: had to come and do the podcast. I'm not putting

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Speaker 1: on no clothes. K rubbing my knee, Sure you all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm good, keep rubbing my knee. Go ahead to stop

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Speaker 1: this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Let's go, Let's go pay some bills, take a break

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Speaker 2: and get you a little knee rub and then we'll

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Speaker 2: come back. Talk about your approach the downwards. It's I'm

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Speaker 2: over here. I'm over here, money, pay bills, We'll be back. Yo,

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Speaker 2: you're you're like that whole story time was hilarious to

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Speaker 2: me because you still to this day challenge all these kids.

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Speaker 2: But I will get the challenge me.

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Speaker 1: I don't challenge them. They challenge that.

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Speaker 2: It's true, but I will get you. You'll be holding

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Speaker 2: your own against these little young bucks. Okay, you have

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Speaker 2: for years, for years? What made it different this time around?

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Speaker 1: Though?

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Speaker 2: You probably didn't even warm up or anything.

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Speaker 1: I didn't warm up, didn't have one, yes, I didn't.

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Speaker 1: It was a little rainy, so the you know, the

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Speaker 1: turf was a little bit slippery. It was a lot

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Speaker 1: of things, a lot of elements, a lot of variables

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Speaker 1: that added to the fact that I slightly tore my

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Speaker 1: m c L but or sprained my m CL.

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Speaker 2: And the self diagnosis too for me.

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Speaker 1: When you've been an athlete as long as I've been

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Speaker 1: an athlete, you understand what pain is, and you know

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Speaker 1: you're also studying exercise physiology. I know the body, so

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Speaker 1: I was like, it's the inside of my knee. It

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Speaker 1: only hurts when I do this movement. Right here. I

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Speaker 1: can still go up and down the stairs. I can

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Speaker 1: still squat and run. It's just sore when I do

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Speaker 1: lateral movement. That's an MCL.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it when you hit me that day.

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Speaker 2: I was out on the road and you hit me

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Speaker 2: with the if you swing past a pharmacy or whatever,

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Speaker 2: let me get a little ben gay, little icy hot.

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Speaker 1: I did not say stock stop compression knee gentlemen, let

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Speaker 1: me tell you come home with like four different competitives. Capping.

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Speaker 1: She's capping. I never asked for ben gay or icy hot.

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Speaker 1: She's capping. But this is the difference and when men

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Speaker 1: become older or when they become older. When Kadeen was

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Speaker 1: turning forty, did you hear how I was bigger her baby,

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Speaker 1: you look great. I wanted to empower her to feel better.

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Speaker 1: I'm turning forty. She lying, you needed Ben Gay? You dying.

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Speaker 1: It's a downward slope the road, little coasters off the track. Ah,

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Speaker 1: y'all hear the difference this, No, no, no, I'm glad you'll

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Speaker 1: hear the difference in how I support her and empower

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Speaker 1: her and then what I get. So go ahead, keep

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Speaker 1: lying that, keep lying story.

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Speaker 2: And talking about forty I talked about all the things

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Speaker 2: that are on the downward tick. Keep lying, Okay. All

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Speaker 2: I'm saying is that I couldn't believe it when you

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Speaker 2: called me and I said I had to bring all

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Speaker 2: the stops, the ben Gate, the icy I never asked

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Speaker 2: for ben Gate, asked for it, but didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 2: use it.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to, didn't bring.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to be Seve.

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Speaker 1: Asked you for a sleeve, so she went and got

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Speaker 1: the copper fit. So now I'll put the copper fit on.

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Speaker 1: And Jackson see the copp talking about some Oh you

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Speaker 1: got the Jemmy Rice two thousand on? It should hurt

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Speaker 1: my heart, bro.

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Speaker 3: I said to what he said, you know you got

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Speaker 3: the Jemmy Rice two thousand joints? Did Jemmy Rice Brett

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Speaker 3: fav joint? Did they be having in the commercials when

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Speaker 3: they be on the farm playing it? I said, Yo,

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Speaker 3: I know what's commercial he's talking about too, because I

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Speaker 3: remember seeing them in that commercial being like those is

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Speaker 3: my idols growing up for football, and now they're all.

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Speaker 1: Here playing on a farm with regularly dude, the sleep

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Speaker 1: with the sleeve and the back joint. Because Jerry had

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Speaker 1: the back joint on his lower back.

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Speaker 2: That's the back joint for you in your lower back.

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Speaker 2: Because we've been going to the chiropractice, we've been stretching,

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Speaker 2: and we've been juicing and taking care of ourselves. Shall

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Speaker 2: hear her talking, We're not doing that.

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Speaker 1: You talking like I'm seventy five years old. We even

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Speaker 1: I've been taking you to the chirocter. Fact that we've

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Speaker 1: been juicing, and we've been doing a drinking, the tumor

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Speaker 1: ic and the gym just shots.

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Speaker 2: In the moment. We've not been doing it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but why you got to talk like this when

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Speaker 1: you're saying talking like a slave. We we's gonna go

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Speaker 1: get better today. We's you coming upon forty?

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Speaker 2: Y'all hear me sound like that? We wanted to take

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Speaker 2: I didn't not sound like that.

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Speaker 1: See how she make fun of me for turning forty,

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Speaker 1: But when she was turning forty, I was like, you,

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Speaker 1: glamorous baby, you look better than ever.

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Speaker 2: And I think you look better than ever too. But

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Speaker 2: what we're gonna talk about is you know your approach

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Speaker 2: to forty, what that's looking like for you, and I

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Speaker 2: just want to age gracefully with you. We're gonna do

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Speaker 2: this stick to being fly the entire way from forty

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Speaker 2: to fifty, to sixty to seventy to eighty to.

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Speaker 1: I can imagine you talking about me turning turning, talking

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Speaker 1: about me turning forty. I can't imagine what you're gonna say. Then.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't even just you. I said it in my

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Speaker 2: podcast when I talked about turning forty, I said, did

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Speaker 2: I talk about the roller coaster, y'all run the tape bag.

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Speaker 2: I talked about being at the top of the roller coaster,

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Speaker 2: and it's just like that slope down I think, And.

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Speaker 1: I said, no, don't do that to yourself. Do not

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Speaker 1: do that to yourself. You know there's no roller coaster.

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Speaker 2: Take them for you to your fingers.

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Speaker 1: No roller coaster. We still a baby.

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Speaker 2: No roller coaster, Yes damn. But you know what's even

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Speaker 2: worse is the facts and stats that Triple put in

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Speaker 2: here for you. Number One, heart disease is more prevalent

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Speaker 2: in men over forty and can be fatal. To talk

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Speaker 2: about the talk about forty, you talking about me feelings

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Speaker 2: making you feel some kind of.

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Speaker 1: Way, Triple did this. Triple ain't talk about death at

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Speaker 1: all in yours. She talked about your libido. She's talking

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Speaker 1: about for me is fatal? She talking about something forty

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Speaker 1: your libido, Well, for me, I'm gonna die.

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Speaker 2: Increase libido and wait, okay and hear loss.

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Speaker 1: Definitely was experiencing that.

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Speaker 2: Health professionals recommend that men over forty take a conscious

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Speaker 2: or make a conscious effort to engage in stress reduction

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Speaker 2: and management practices to improve their heart health. Baby, So

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Speaker 2: my increased libido will help with your stress decrease.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. Now we're getting the problem.

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Speaker 2: This is this is ellis math.

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Speaker 1: No, this is what Trubu said, that that stress reduction

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Speaker 1: and management practices need to improve in order for my

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Speaker 1: heart health to maintain the standard.

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Speaker 2: Right, So with my increased libido and your stress decrease,

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Speaker 2: by way of that, Viya.

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Speaker 1: I should be living a lot longer.

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Speaker 2: Some baby, we're gonna be living forever at this rate.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. Testosterone decreases about one percent

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Speaker 2: every year after the age of forty fifty. Men ages

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Speaker 2: forty to forty nine experience occasional sexual dysfunction because of this,

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Speaker 2: You know, why not devour ever in life? I don't

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Speaker 2: ever think I'll ever see a decrease in your testosterone. No.

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Speaker 1: You know why, Why because I work out every day

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Speaker 1: that on these red tights. And here's gentlemen, I don't

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Speaker 1: just do.

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Speaker 2: I'd be tired, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I don't do industry friendly workouts. When I say industry

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Speaker 1: friendly workouts or workouts that you'll see like go to

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Speaker 1: the gym and do this to you know, stay in shape,

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Speaker 1: which is get on the treadmill for an hour. Those

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Speaker 1: workouts do not increase your testosterone. You know what workouts

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Speaker 1: increase your testosteron. This is a scientific This is a

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Speaker 1: scientific fact. When you squat, when you deadlift move heavyweight,

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Speaker 1: that's a boost of your testosterone because it takes a

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Speaker 1: lot of energy, a lot of your testots are on

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Speaker 1: to push that heavyweight. So men who continue to dead life,

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Speaker 1: if squad do explosive movements sprints, continue to keep their

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Speaker 1: testosterone high because you need testosterone to rejuvenate those muscles

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Speaker 1: that are being broken down. A lot of men when

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Speaker 1: they turn thirty like, oh I can't do these exercises

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Speaker 1: no more. I'm gonna get old, So they stop doing

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Speaker 1: those movements. They stop deadlifting, they stop squatting, they stop

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Speaker 1: bench pressing, they stop doing muscle ups, they stop doing

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Speaker 1: all of the things that young men do, and in turn,

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Speaker 1: it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You turned yourself into

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Speaker 1: an old man by stop doing what young men do.

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Speaker 2: So because I squat and deadlift, can that be the

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Speaker 2: testosterone production that's giving me these chin heres? I'm making

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Speaker 2: this mustache so stubborn to get lasered away, y'all? Is

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Speaker 2: it the testosterone in women too?

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Speaker 1: I don't think it works like that. There's a ton

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Speaker 1: of testosterone that's already in my body that continues to increase.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't work that way for women. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: even gonna joke about that because women used to think like,

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Speaker 1: if I lift weights, I'm gonna look like a man. No,

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Speaker 1: you won't.

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Speaker 2: You won't.

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Speaker 1: You won't because K lifts all the time heavy and

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Speaker 1: all the time heavyweight, particularly on the the lowers. But no,

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Speaker 1: in all, honestly though, I continue to live like I'm

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Speaker 1: twenty five. Yeah, so that I can keep my testa

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Speaker 1: too hot, because not only do I want to be

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Speaker 1: here for you sexually, and I know that that becomes

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Speaker 1: an issue for people in this age range man turns forty,

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Speaker 1: his libido starts to drop. Woman turns forty, her libido

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Speaker 1: goes up. And I was like, yo, what you're doing,

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Speaker 1: Like you been chasing me all these years and now

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Speaker 1: I'm chasing you. And dudes like I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to keep up the way you can keep up. Number one,

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Speaker 1: continue to lift weights and do sprints. Don't go to

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Speaker 1: the gym and just get on the treadmill. Don't do that,

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Speaker 1: go go there. Walk or leisurely walk. Yeah, and walking

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Speaker 1: can be part of your workout. For example, I walk

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Speaker 1: for thirty minutes before I start my workout. I get

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Speaker 1: my heart flowing, I get the blood pump, and I

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Speaker 1: get my legs warmed up. Then after I walk, I

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Speaker 1: lift my heavyweights. After I'm done lifting my heavyweights, I

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Speaker 1: sprint for like ten minutes ten seconds on fifty seconds

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Speaker 1: off high incline. I go as hard as I can,

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Speaker 1: only for ten reps. And that just keeps my body

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Speaker 1: like moving, like rejuvenates.

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Speaker 2: I've heard of that chain reaction that some men do

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Speaker 2: experience when you have chronic ailments diseases for example, like

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Speaker 2: high blood pressure. So it's like a almost like a

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Speaker 2: self fulfilling prophecy because you're going to be dealing with

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Speaker 2: high blood pressure issues, which is probably a result of

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Speaker 2: not working out the way you used to or might

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Speaker 2: have when you were younger, then having to get on

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Speaker 2: medication for that that then, yep, causes erectile dysfunction or

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Speaker 2: any other kind of disease. And then men are inclined

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Speaker 2: to not take those medications because it then interferes with

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Speaker 2: their sex life. So really, just trying to maintain that

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Speaker 2: healthy lifestyle going into your forties is what's most important.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up, because that is actually

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Speaker 1: a real thing. Most men fear going to the doctor

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Speaker 1: because the doctor is going to put them on medication.

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Speaker 1: That medication will then prevent them from being able to

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Speaker 1: do the one thing that they want to do, which

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Speaker 1: is be intimate with their partner. So they say, fucking

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to the doctor and I'll just ignore it.

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Speaker 1: And I've lost family members that way. I've lost close

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Speaker 1: people to me in their fifties who went to sleep

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Speaker 1: one night, woke up, We went to sleep one night

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Speaker 1: and never woke up and their wife, and the wife

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Speaker 1: was like, you had the medication, all the medications in there,

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Speaker 1: and he didn't want to take it and that comes

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Speaker 1: from heart disease. But the biggest thing is not getting

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Speaker 1: to that point right. Another thing that can and I

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Speaker 1: have been talking about a lot recently, which is funny

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Speaker 1: because I went today, is juicing. Juicing. There's so many

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Speaker 1: healing factors and natural fruits and vegetables that I think

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Speaker 1: has come to a point now where we have to

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Speaker 1: start stop ignoring the fact that the foods that we eat,

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Speaker 1: even if it's organic, it's not healthy for us.

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Speaker 2: My dream is to like leave here and go on

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Speaker 2: an island and just have a big farm and do

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Speaker 2: everything my own, because it's ridiculous. And it's funny because

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Speaker 2: one of the facts that we kind of kind of

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Speaker 2: spoke into, men are less likely than women to go

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Speaker 2: to the doctor every year after age forty. Men have

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Speaker 2: seen an increase in diabetes in high cholesterols. So it's

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Speaker 2: important to get that yearly blood work. You're actually going

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Speaker 2: to go soon for you.

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Speaker 1: You're on top of me with that stuff because my

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Speaker 1: mind typically doesn't go there. But like you discussed before,

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Speaker 1: every year you go get your paps, fear and pap smere.

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Speaker 1: Now you have to go get a mammogram. You're really

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Speaker 1: on top of your health, and you make sure that

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Speaker 1: it's important to me to stay on top of my house.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I like to be proactive instead of reactive.

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Speaker 1: I don't ever want to go to the doctor in here.

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Speaker 1: I have a problem and try to fix it. So

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Speaker 1: over the past year, it's gonna hurt me so much

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Speaker 1: because y'all know I've cut eaten beef.

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Speaker 2: I thought he was really gonna have an emotional moment.

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Speaker 1: I was like, wait what, I'm a Southern boy, I

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Speaker 1: cut pork. I'm from New York. It's been seven months.

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Speaker 2: I haven't had a bager nigga cheese. No, you're for real.

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Speaker 2: You haven't though, dead ass, y'all. And since I learned

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Speaker 2: about my egg allergy, like, I haven't been having eggs.

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Speaker 2: So the bacon, egg and cheese, Like.

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Speaker 1: I haven't had a bacon, egg and cheese.

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Speaker 2: It likes seven months with the bev bev you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Eat it in the morning Asai bowls.

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Speaker 2: Yo doval. Literally every morning, I'm my baby, what do

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00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 2: you want to have for breakfast? I'm so used to

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00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 2: getting in the kitchen and frying up some bacon and

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Speaker 2: eggs and all that assieh bowls, y'all, here's the portanola

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Speaker 2: and vegetables, I mean fruits.

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Speaker 1: My street, my street, rep. It's just going down. I really,

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Speaker 1: let me get a bowl with spinach and.

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Speaker 2: Granola and enjoying it, enjoying it. So sad, don't be sad.

354
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Speaker 2: Be happy that you're feeling good, that you're feeling better.

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Speaker 2: It's even a thing where the boys are now, Like

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Speaker 2: Jackson was just eating in a cye bowl for breakfast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, what, here's here's here's the truth.

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Speaker 2: It's the kids see.

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Speaker 1: It without joking because I like to entertain and make

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Speaker 1: people laugh. But here's the truth. You know how we

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Speaker 1: say things are hereditary? Yeah you know what you know

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Speaker 1: runs in the family. You know, oh well that's in

363
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 1: your blood. Is gonna have no you know what's hereditary

364
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Speaker 1: watching your parents do stuff and repeating the behaviorct I

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Speaker 1: told the boys two weeks ago, we have a new model,

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Speaker 1: the new Ellis model. Right, we won't always do what

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Speaker 1: we want because we will always do what we have to.

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Speaker 1: And it was like, what you mean? I said, guys,

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Speaker 1: you are young men, your boys not but your young men.

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Speaker 1: As young men, you have to understand that in life

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Speaker 1: you will not always be able to do what you

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Speaker 1: want to do because you are required to do what

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Speaker 1: you have to do, and sometimes what you have to

374
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Speaker 1: do doesn't fall in line with what you want to do,

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Speaker 1: and you have to get used to doing that. And

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Speaker 1: I told him right before we were eating dinner, and

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00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 1: I said, look, that broccoli not gonna taste like them cookies.

378
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,399
Speaker 1: Spinach is a super fool. Daddy loves spinach. It's not

379
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 1: gonna taste like the candy that you eat. But I

380
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Speaker 1: have to eat it. Y'all want me to be here

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Speaker 1: for y'all, right, And they were looking at me like yeah.

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Speaker 2: Especially Kirol. Cayrol was locked in. He was like, what

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Speaker 2: I got to do because he's my one kid. Whenever

384
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 2: I saw taste spinach, that poor baby be gang and

385
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Speaker 2: like a motherfucker because he hates the I think it's

386
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 2: a texture thing for him. So what I ended up

387
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: doing with Cairo instead is that I give it to

388
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,439
Speaker 2: him raw, like just straight out of the package, you know,

389
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,120
Speaker 2: wash it, and.

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00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 1: Don't ever give anything to my son. Row. Okay, how about.

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Speaker 2: That, iggy, how about that You're so annoying, But I

392
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 2: give it to him that way because I'm like Okay,

393
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 2: at least he can still stay you know, you're still

394
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 2: geting your spinach in, right, but we can make it

395
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,239
Speaker 2: different ways, right.

396
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Speaker 1: So yeah, and ever since then, Jackson, Cairo, Caaz, they

397
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 1: just like bought in. They bought in. Like they go

398
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 1: to the pantry, they look for something and they're like that,

399
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,480
Speaker 1: there's no there's nothing in here to eat to snack on.

400
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,639
Speaker 1: But you started buying the seaweed chips, which Jackson started

401
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 1: to love. My kids love oreoles because I love oreos,

402
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,399
Speaker 1: and we stopped buying oreos. And they don't complain like

403
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: they just Jackson just said to me, it is like

404
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 1: that you bought the turmeric shots, the ginger shots and

405
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 1: the wheat grass shots. I was like, yeah, He's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gona take one every morning.

407
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Speaker 2: I just want ahead and brought a massifying juice or

408
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 2: just for that purpose, like to grow juice, ginger all.

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Speaker 1: And I'm excited about it. As much as this has

410
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 1: been about me for myself being better going into forty,

411
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Speaker 1: I can't help but look at my sons and say,

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Speaker 1: they're going to be forty year old men at one

413
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Speaker 1: point at some point, and I want when they are

414
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 1: forty year old men to look back and say, my

415
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 1: mom and dad prepared me for this moment, so my

416
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,879
Speaker 1: body is intact to take on whatever new ailments may

417
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Speaker 1: come after forty years of life.

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Speaker 2: But also too, I feel good that we're doing everything

419
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 2: in our power to make sure that we are not

420
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 2: a liability to our children when they're older. Hell yeah,

421
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 2: think about how many people have to sacrifice and do

422
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 2: all the things for their parents in an older age

423
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 2: because they didn't take care of themselves, that is a

424
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 2: fact when they could. So now you have parents who

425
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 2: are battling with all these different ailments and chronic diseases

426
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 2: that maybe could have been avoided, you know, had they

427
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 2: taken a little bit more time, and diabetes are hurt

428
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 2: in my family. Yeah, to take care of themselves. And granted,

429
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,959
Speaker 2: we have more resources now, more knowledge now than our

430
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 2: families you know, generations before us did. But just a

431
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 2: little bit like getting up and getting on that treadmill,

432
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 2: like doing what you have to do, getting out and

433
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 2: just walking for twenty minutes a day, or you know,

434
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 2: eliminating something out of your diet, Like I don't want

435
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: to be a liability to my children and I'm older.

436
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 1: Because we've changed our lifestyle. Like for me in particular,

437
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going a day without working out. And when

438
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: I say working out, that is at least a twenty

439
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:38,159
Speaker 1: minute walk. That to me, it classifies as a workout

440
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 1: for today. There's never a day you're going to see dival.

441
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 1: That's why y'all always see me in tights or shorts

442
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: while you always see Kadeen and tights and sports bards.

443
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: Because look, some points, you gotta get on that treadmill.

444
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 1: If it's not nice outside, get on that treubmill and

445
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 1: do twenty minutes. It just keeps your heart going, keeps

446
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: your legs, your posture, your core, you know, get your

447
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 1: mind free.

448
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 2: That was me last night. I felt a little sniffle

449
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 2: coming on. I was like, oh no, I got on

450
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 2: again the trendmill for thirty minutes, walked, sweat, let everything

451
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 2: run out. And then this morning I was like, ginger shot,

452
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: good to go, and not for nothing.

453
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: The oxytocin that's released when you work out, you just

454
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: feel good, you know, after I get my twenty minutes

455
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: in that ok, I'm ready. I'm ready first thing in

456
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: the morning. Wake up. Let me walk on my off days,

457
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 1: but on my on days, I'm a walk, lift, run,

458
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: and then after that I feel good. I'm ready to

459
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 1: attack the day. My mind is free.

460
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 2: I love that.

461
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 1: I'm excited about where we are going. You just turned forty,

462
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:39,880
Speaker 1: me turning forty. But realistically, it's about preparing our children,

463
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,479
Speaker 1: you know, because life now doesn't matter to me if

464
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: it's not preparing for my wife and my kids.

465
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 2: That's the fact that you learned about yourself in your

466
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 2: thirties or is there like a big way that you

467
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,360
Speaker 2: want to end your thirties?

468
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: Man, there's a lot I learned in my thirties. I

469
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: had made this. I'm not made this reality, but I

470
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: had really thought about this. From fifteen to twenty, you

471
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: think you know everything. From twenty to twenty five, you

472
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 1: know you know everything. From twenty five to thirty, you

473
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 1: realize that you didn't know shit the whole time. And

474
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: then in your thirties you're trying to fix all of

475
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: the stuff you did wrong in your twenties. And I

476
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: feel like that's what my thirties has been. I've just

477
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: been trying to correct I don't want to say all

478
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 1: of my wrongs. But you get blinded in your twenties

479
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 1: when you have success early and being a divisione athlete

480
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 1: and going to the NFL and having success. Early in

481
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 1: my twenties, I felt like I had the world figured out.

482
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 1: So you go back and you listen to interviews of yourself,

483
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 1: you watch videos of yourself, You think about the things

484
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: you've done. You're like, man, I really didn't know anything

485
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: figured out, but I thought I did so during my thirties.

486
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 1: I've just been trying to correct that to prepare for

487
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 1: my forties. But I've also realized that all the things

488
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 1: that I thought matter didn't matter. Materialistic things, people's opinions

489
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 1: of me, my opinions of other people, my judgment of

490
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 1: other people, my mindset, and the things I thought about

491
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 1: life as just I've just learned so much more about

492
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: not being so closed minded and finite about what I

493
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: think is black and white. Yeah, I've learned to just

494
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,880
Speaker 1: be open to listening learning.

495
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 2: I can see that, and I'm happy you acknowledge that too,

496
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 2: because you've gotten feedback the same way I have, from

497
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 2: like family members, people close to us who we thought

498
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: whatever they were doing in that moment, no, you should

499
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 2: do it this way. Like you know that your way

500
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: was going to be the right way. And I think

501
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 2: now you've just been like, listen, I have four children.

502
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 2: Those are my only children. Everybody else, y'all can do

503
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 2: whatever it is that y'all want to do, because my

504
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: focus is these four boys. Everybody else there adults, they're

505
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 2: going to figure it out in their own time. So

506
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 2: I like that you've done that because I feel like

507
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 2: that really some portions of stress that you might I

508
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 2: was worrying about other people.

509
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 1: I was definitely, I was definitely gonna say that, Like

510
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: a lot of my stress in my twenties was thinking

511
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: that I knew everything and I could fix everybody, and

512
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: trying my hardest to make you do it like.

513
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 2: This, do it like that they could see them to

514
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 2: see and.

515
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 1: Realizing in my thirties that you can't fix everybody. So

516
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: since you can't fix everybody the same way you couldn't

517
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 1: be fixed, it takes a lot of self reflection for

518
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 1: someone else to fix themselves. So give people time and grace.

519
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 1: That's That's one thing I'll say. I don't stress as

520
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: much because I'm like, whether it's our brothers and sisters,

521
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,239
Speaker 1: our parents, our aunts and uncles, grandparents, all of these

522
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,239
Speaker 1: people that we feel like we figured out a way

523
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 1: and they should do it our way. I've learned to

524
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: let them live their life the way that they want

525
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,120
Speaker 1: to live their life and support them in whatever way

526
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: they can. But not only our family and friends, just

527
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 1: people out in the street. You know, back in the day,

528
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: and I say back in the day when I was twenties,

529
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: but it really wasn't that far people to ask me

530
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 1: for advice and I would tell them, you got to

531
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 1: do it this way because this is the way it

532
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 1: has to be done. Now, it's just like they asked

533
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: me for advice, and I'm open about saying I don't

534
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 1: know how to give you advice about your life. I

535
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: can share with you what I've done, and if you

536
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: want to do it that way and go ahead. If

537
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 1: you look at what I've done and you say, hell no,

538
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that, I'm cool with that too,

539
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: because it might not work for you. But that's been

540
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 1: able to give me some peace in life and not

541
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: be stressed about doing things one way and trying to

542
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: be perfect, because there is no perfect.

543
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 2: You know, what do you think you have left to learn?

544
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: I think I have a lot left to learn. I

545
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: honestly feel like I was walking through the world with

546
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: blinders on for the first thirty years of life. Right.

547
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: I was talking to Josh about this last night. If

548
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: you really think about what we learn and what we know,

549
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 1: everything we've learned we learned through entertainment, right, So think

550
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 1: about this. Josh was taking a class on directing and

551
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 1: they talked about how we learned everything about life through

552
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 1: the male gaze, because over ninety percent of productions are

553
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 1: with male directors male producers. So when we see anything,

554
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: when we see a woman, we see it through the

555
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: male gaze. When we see a man, we see a

556
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: man through the male gaze. What that realization made me

557
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: realize is that I've learned about the world through someone

558
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: else's perspective. You know, everything I know or thought about life,

559
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 1: it was either through entertainment or through news. But that's

560
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: also just one perspective. So I feel like I have

561
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: so much more to learn about the world, which makes

562
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: me feel that much smaller, but also makes me feel

563
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: like that less of an expert. Even when it comes

564
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 1: to relationships, right, people's like, oh, y'all love relationship goals,

565
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: and I honestly feel like, no the hell we are not.

566
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: I don't feel like you can look at one person

567
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: for anything and say that that person knows everything about anything.

568
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: I want to learn from as many people. Now, I'm

569
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 1: like part of me is wanting to sit down amongst

570
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: a bunch of people and just listen.

571
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny you say that, because I struggle

572
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: with just even thinking about me turning forward and all

573
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 2: that on this topic wanting to learn from others. It

574
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: can be so convoluted now just thinking about social media,

575
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 2: Like you can literally pick up your phone and like

576
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 2: search for anything or go into a rabbit hole of

577
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: things you want to learn about, but that's always going

578
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 2: to be through somebody else's perspective. Absolutely, So I feel

579
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: like in our forties or in my forties at least,

580
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 2: I'm selective about who I want in my presence, who

581
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 2: I want in my space absolutely, and curating experiences where

582
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: I can learn from people purposefully. And that's my force

583
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 2: absolutely through social media or things that are just fed

584
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 2: to me through my phone. And that's why I think

585
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: I've put my phone down a lot more now, because

586
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 2: then you just get into a rabbit hole of everybody

587
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 2: else's ideas about what you should think about certain things,

588
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: and I just it's noise at this point, it's noise.

589
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: Okay, I kid you not. I'm now understanding why my

590
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: grandparents called the TV the idiot box, while my parents

591
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: called the phone an idiot box, and then why we're

592
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: going to be calling whatever it is about the oculus,

593
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: whatever new technology is, the idiot box, because what it's

594
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 1: doing is feeding you all the information that they want

595
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: you to have. But now it's allowing even young kids

596
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: to curate their own experience, so they only will follow

597
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: who they want to follow their world, and that's all

598
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: they see. The minute they look up and they put

599
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: their their phone like this, they're just being fed information

600
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: and they're taking it all this truth. And I'm realizing

601
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: now that I did the same thing through the television

602
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: from the time I was young. So it's about unlearning

603
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: everything I know about life now and trying to relearn it.

604
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: So I think in my thirties I took a lot

605
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: of time to self reflect, and that's why when you

606
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 1: hear me talk a lot, I talk about the mistakes

607
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: I made, and I talk about the things I wish

608
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: I could have done differently, not so much because I

609
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: want to seem like I'm the perfect person. That no,

610
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 1: I really feel like that, Like, damn, man, what if

611
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: I just unlearn this stuff and now with a different

612
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: perspective on life, let's take in more information. I want

613
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 1: more people to do that too.

614
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: Anything you dread about aging, dread.

615
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: About aging, man.

616
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 2: Man.

617
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: The only thing I dread about aging is losing time

618
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: with my sons. Yeah, like the time I have with

619
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: them now. Think about Jackson. Jackson is twelve. I have

620
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 1: six years left with Jackson living in his house, and

621
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: then he's going to be college. And we are empowering

622
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 1: our children to go out in the world and not

623
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: need us. So there's a good chance, just like me,

624
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: once he turns eighteen, he goes to college, he may

625
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 1: never live back in our house. I never lived back

626
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: with my parents after that. You did it, and my

627
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: brother never lived back with my parents. We did everything

628
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 1: together when he graduated college, and then he went and

629
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: got his own spot. But when I think about that,

630
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: it's like, man, I've already spent sixty six percent of

631
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: the time I'm going to spend with Jackson in his house. Yeah,

632
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: six years left, then he's gone, and I.

633
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 2: Really just be trying to soak up these moments now,

634
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 2: especially and when I talked about forty and just really

635
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: making sure that I'm invested in the space is that

636
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: I need to be. We talked about just even pulling

637
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 2: back from like our social media presence, just to be

638
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: present present. It's really really I share the same sentiment

639
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 2: with you, just like not running out per se, but

640
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: the time that we have with them in this space.

641
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: Because I think about my life at forty, I've only

642
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: was I was under my parents' wings, you know, for

643
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 2: lack of a better word, until I was about seventeen

644
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 2: than I was in college. It's only seventeen out of

645
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 2: my forty years of life.

646
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: I know you spent more time with me, you and

647
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: you spent with your parents.

648
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, What are you enjoying about aging information?

649
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: I love learning, like I honestly feel like I can

650
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: slow down the aging process by treating my body the

651
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: right way. What we consider to be good for us

652
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: turns out not to be good for us. Team No

653
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: sleep not good for us, yolo. I'm gonna eat and

654
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 1: drinks whatever I want because you only once. That's not

655
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: good for us. So I've learned to adapt different mantras

656
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: in a different lifestyle. I'm going to sleep when I

657
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: get a chance to sleep, I'm gonna eat better, I'm

658
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: gonna refrain from taking medications that dull or numb the pain,

659
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: just to get by and really find a solution to

660
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: what it is, so that I can maintain this body

661
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: that I only have one of for as long as

662
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: I can. You know, I feel like I can stay

663
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: at this version of myself for another thirty years. I

664
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: honestly feel like that. I've been doing a lot of

665
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: research and reading and understanding that if you constantly move,

666
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: if you eat right, if you sleep, if you don't

667
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: put toxins in your body, you can stay at your

668
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: peak version of yourself for three decades. Like there's proven this.

669
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: There are fact there are men and women who've done it.

670
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: There are men and women in other countries and different

671
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: cultures who are seventy who still move like us. Yea,

672
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: the same man, you know what I'm saying. Yes, So

673
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: that's just I'm looking forward to defining the odds. I'm

674
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: spending as much time as I can with my family,

675
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: but also continuing to learn the world. Like the world

676
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: that we see through our gaze and through entertainment and

677
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: through whatever else we look at, it's not the real world.

678
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 1: The real world is the world that exists between when

679
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: you leave your house to get to work and come back,

680
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 1: because those are the people, those are the things you

681
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: see every single day.

682
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 2: And also travel finding new places and learning new cultures

683
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 2: and new customs.

684
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: And I can't wait. I want to do a lot

685
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: more traveling.

686
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 2: We're traveling with you and with the boys, little global citizens.

687
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 2: So your perfect fortieth birthday scenario. So your birthday, just

688
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 2: to give people context for the past, at least five

689
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 2: years have gone to shit because of something interfering. Yes,

690
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: with plans. For example, I had a huge birthday trip

691
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 2: planned for you to Jamaica or last year. No, that

692
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 2: was a nice year we had. We got COVID that

693
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: year and couldn't go. That was maybe twenty one. We

694
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 2: moved here twent twenty one. Yeah, so there was that.

695
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 2: A couple of the times you've had either to work,

696
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 2: to film big auditions, callbacks. Yes, okay, Yes, your birthday

697
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 2: happens to fall around the time when a lot of

698
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 2: things get filmed. Yes, However, now that I'm kind of

699
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 2: waiting to see what I can plan according to your

700
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 2: film schedule, because we're always going to manifest work and

701
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 2: all those things. But I feel badly that it's taken

702
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,240
Speaker 2: away from your birthday experiences for the past couple of years.

703
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 2: If you had your dream fortieth birthday extravaganza, what would

704
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 2: that look like for you?

705
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: My dream birthday extravaganza would I would be working, but

706
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: they would know that April second to April tenth is

707
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 1: the time that I need off. So of course I

708
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: would be working on the project because I want to

709
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: be able to provide for my family. But from that

710
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 1: time of April second to April tenth, which is about

711
00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: nine days or eight days, we would travel to Egypt.

712
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 1: We will be able to see the Pyramids. We were

713
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 1: able to see something that we haven't been able to

714
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 1: see that I really want to see. We will take

715
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: the kids, we would explore, we would travel, we would

716
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: come back. We would celebrate Jackson's birthday, because Jackson's terms thirteen.

717
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 2: This year, y'all, oh my god.

718
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 1: So it would be a collective birthday experience, and I

719
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: would just get back to work. Like the perfect experience

720
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: would be me sharing something with my family that I've

721
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: never experienced before, but still working. I wouldn't say that

722
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,800
Speaker 1: I want to work. I want to be able to

723
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: continue to push the needle forward. You know, that's what

724
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: I would do. But I want to travel with you. Guys.

725
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 2: Oh, that's exactly what we want to do with Ju Chow.

726
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 2: So we're waiting to see. Because we had Egypt booked

727
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 2: a couple of years of that. I think it was

728
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,959
Speaker 2: your thirty fifth birthday. We actually had a couple along

729
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 2: with us, and we had to cancel that trip for

730
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,359
Speaker 2: work also, So we'll see. Maybe the Good Lord will

731
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 2: make away that we can do both that you'll be working.

732
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 2: I'm manifesting it, booking a future film, leading mail type vibes.

733
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,720
Speaker 2: Let's know what I'm saying, twenty twenty four is saying,

734
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 2: looking like it's going to be an amazing year. Excited

735
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 2: to spend another birthday with you that's coming up April second, y'all,

736
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 2: my aries baby over here. I can't wait to see

737
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,919
Speaker 2: what this next decade has for both of us as

738
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 2: a unit and also individually. So all right, y'all, let's

739
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 2: take a quick break. We're gonna pay some bills and

740
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,959
Speaker 2: where you're gonna get back with listener letters, so stick

741
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 2: around alrighty, then I will jump in and do the

742
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 2: first one. Hey, Ella's family just want to start by saying,

743
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 2: I love yeah, thank you, love you back. This podcast

744
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 2: gets me through my in office days, long driving commutes,

745
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 2: plane rides, you name it. Els. I love that there's

746
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 2: something so soothing and inviting about you too. Thank you.

747
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 2: See another reason why people be trying to get us

748
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 2: stay on this podcast. I was telling y'all about to

749
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 2: be done, and now y'all make me want to stay

750
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 2: all right, and as a Bronx girly, I'll always be

751
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 2: here for a good New York love story. Won't hold

752
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: the whole Bronx thing against you being Brooklyn Heads, but hey,

753
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 2: New York forever. I've been with my boyfriend for four years.

754
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: We have a beautiful daughter together, and we met at

755
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: a minimum wage job where we were both working at

756
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 2: the time. Since then, I've moved up significantly career wise

757
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 2: and have secured myself financially. He has two but it

758
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 2: took for me to really push him to actually apply

759
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 2: for him to find something else. I have a settlement

760
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 2: coming which I want to use to invest and move

761
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 2: our financial situation forward. I would really like to involve

762
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 2: him and run this business together. My dilemma is he

763
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 2: takes a backseat when it comes to running the household.

764
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 2: He'll give me all his money if I ask for it,

765
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 2: but he doesn't really take charge or give any input.

766
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 2: He just says, I'll do whatever you need. It's ray

767
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 2: that if I involve him, I might end up carrying

768
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,760
Speaker 2: the financial and daily upkeep of the business by myself

769
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 2: and resent him for it. He is so selfless, a

770
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: great father, and he works daily to be a better boyfriend.

771
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 2: I really don't want to make the wrong decision here.

772
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 2: Should I involve him or just leave him out of it?

773
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 2: What do you think from a business standpoint?

774
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: I think that this is a perfect example of every

775
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: man isn't made to lead the house. He doesn't want

776
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: to lead the way she wants him to lead, but

777
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 1: he's willing to give her all the money and say, Yo,

778
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: whatever you want to do, I'll be of support. That's

779
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 1: a different type of leadership. And I say what I'm saying, it's.

780
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 2: A different type of leadership. So he's like essentially empowering

781
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 2: her to make the move.

782
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: Whatever it is you want to do, I'm in support,

783
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,959
Speaker 1: she says. Here he'll give me all of his money.

784
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: He just says, whatever you want to do, I'll be

785
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: in support. And he's a great father. Why wouldn't you

786
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: want that as a teammate. She wants him to be

787
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 1: the one to go out there and find the business

788
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: run the business. That's not what he wants to do.

789
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: But if she's good at that, there's nothing wrong with

790
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 1: her handling that aspect of it. Using his finances to

791
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: help support the business in whatever way she needs help.

792
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,239
Speaker 1: He's willing to be a support So why not do it?

793
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 2: I don't even think, because I can't even think of

794
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 2: a couple that comes to mind who we know where

795
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 2: the man has been a provider, you know, done everything

796
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 2: that he's needed to do financially to make sure the

797
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: family was okay. Yes, and the wife, I think wanted

798
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 2: to see more of an assertion in him that she

799
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 2: didn't see because she felt like that would make him

800
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 2: more of the leader of the household when really he

801
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 2: was helping her to do the things that they wanted

802
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,240
Speaker 2: to do she wanted to do by just being able

803
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 2: to provide financially. Not everybody is going to be the

804
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,399
Speaker 2: creative mind. Not everybody's an entrepreneur's person. Right.

805
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 1: If he's a worker, If he's a worker, be and

806
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: he brings in good money, let him support you in

807
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: that way. There's nothing wrong with being supportive in that way.

808
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: I don't think that. I don't think there's anything wrong

809
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: with this formula. I think it could actually work. To

810
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 1: be honest, if she's an entrepreneur, entrepreneur, she has the spirit,

811
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 1: she knows how to run and build businesses. Most of

812
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:04,399
Speaker 1: those people who have those type of attributes struggle because

813
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,719
Speaker 1: they don't have capital. I got everything I need, but

814
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 1: I don't have capital. Well, now you have a partner

815
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 1: who has capital, who's willing to give you what you need,

816
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: and you're good at that, then y'all do that together.

817
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: Like your version of what love or what a family

818
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: looks like doesn't have to mimic or mirror what you

819
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: think you see from other people. You understand what I'm saying.

820
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: That's why I always say when people say, oh, y'all,

821
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 1: a relationship goes I hate that because I don't want

822
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 1: her in her mind to feel like well de Valles

823
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 1: and entrepreneurial minds. But he's the one who goes out

824
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: and do it. So a man is supposed to do that. No,

825
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: there is no gender specific role in a relationship that's

826
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: that's required in order for it to be successful. Whoever's

827
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 1: the more successful person that that do that? And you

828
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: find a teammate who can do something else.

829
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 2: Literally and it works literally, Yes, think about it. You

830
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 2: always come to me, babe, I think we can do.

831
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: You even just came back from the juice spot was like, Babe,

832
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 2: I think you can do. And I'm just like, all right, well,

833
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 2: what do we gotta do? And then tell me what

834
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: I need to do. And then I get on the

835
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 2: administrative side of things and I start to look things

836
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,320
Speaker 2: up and research and organize and it's like the perfect

837
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 2: marriage in that sense when it comes to business. But

838
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 2: I think she should also be vocal about this with

839
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 2: him and say, hey, all right, babe, if you're going

840
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 2: to be bringing home the bacon pretty much and letting

841
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 2: me cook it up, fry it, do all different things

842
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 2: with it, I'm going to need you to kind of

843
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 2: pick up some of the slack at home because I

844
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 2: may not be able to do the things around the

845
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 2: house that I typically would do if I'm going to

846
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 2: be doing the business stuff. And I think that's what

847
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 2: she's fearing here, that she's going to have to run

848
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 2: the household and the business and then be resentful.

849
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 1: I don't know, because she said that he says, I'll

850
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: do whatever you need. She never said that he's not willing.

851
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 1: She said, I'm afraid that if I involved him, I

852
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: may end up carrying not financial and daily upkeep up

853
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: the business. Now, if you're a business minded person and

854
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: you're an entrepreneur, you're going to have to do that anyway.

855
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: Like if it's your dream, if it's your vision, if

856
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: it's your goal, you have to do that.

857
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 2: Now, I get it on the business side of things,

858
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 2: but I'm saying she doesn't want to also do that

859
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 2: and then have to run the household stuff as well.

860
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 2: So maybe their agreement will be if she's going to

861
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 2: be focusing on the business and he's still going to

862
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 2: work and contribute just the day to day things that

863
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 2: they take care of in the household, maybe he will

864
00:41:59,160 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 2: have to take over.

865
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 1: But she never said that that's a problem. She said

866
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: that he is a great father, he's selfless, So she

867
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 1: never said that her problem is based on what I've read.

868
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: Her only problem with him is that he's not a

869
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 1: go getter when it comes to finding opportunities and handling

870
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: the business. She says here that he's willing to do

871
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,439
Speaker 1: whatever I need. He'll give me all his money.

872
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 2: I hear that, but I was just speaking to My

873
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: dilemma is he takes a back seat when it comes

874
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 2: to running the household. So I'm just saying, if that

875
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 2: was a portion that she was worried about, just say, hey, babe,

876
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 2: I know you're going to help me to execute this

877
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 2: menness by being a financial backing, but if I'm focusing

878
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 2: on this, I'll just need some more help around the household.

879
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 2: That's all.

880
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I got you. But she said he'll take

881
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: a back seat. But she also said that he says

882
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: I'll do whatever you need. She sounds like she doesn't

883
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: want to have to say it. She wants him to

884
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: go and do it. No, if this is something you

885
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: need and require, speak on it. She never said that

886
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: he won't do it. He takes a back seat, take

887
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 1: a back seat, but I'll do whatever you need to

888
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: know what you need. It's no different than us two

889
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: will tell me like, yeah, I may take a back

890
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,919
Speaker 1: seat in the business, but tell me what you want

891
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 1: get done and I'll do it. So even when it

892
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: comes to creating content, you like I want to be talent,

893
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to think about that. I'm

894
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: not looking at that like, oh, she lazy, she don't

895
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: want to do what I want to do. I'm looking

896
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: at it as like, Okay, she told me very clearly

897
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:18,360
Speaker 1: what she wants to do.

898
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 2: Just communicated right.

899
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 1: And what I'm saying is that him saying he'll take

900
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: a back seat doesn't mean he's not willing to do it.

901
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: He's not coming up with the ideas. I think they

902
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 1: have a formula that works. My only issue with what

903
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 1: she's saying is that she expects that because he's the man,

904
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: he's going to take the forefront. And what I'm saying

905
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 1: is is that doesn't have to be the case. You know,

906
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 1: Oprah has a Steedman. Steedman is like, I'll do whatever

907
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 1: you need to support, but Oprah is still the she's

908
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: the mastermind. Imagine if Oprah. Imagine if Oprah was like,

909
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 1: you know, I'm gonna wait until Stepman figures it out,

910
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: and we wouldn't have half the ship that we have here.

911
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I don't think it has

912
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 1: to be gender specific. You're a entrepreneur and he's a worker.

913
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 1: Bee tell them, babe, that's what I need you do

914
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: pick up the kids, pick up our daughter these days.

915
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: And that's how you involve him. Don't leave him out

916
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 2: of it altogether, but that's how you involve him in

917
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: the business strategy and what the plan will be moving forward.

918
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 2: So good luck to y'all. I love when people feel

919
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 2: like they have something that they can really just run

920
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 2: with and just grow their business and take that entrepreneurial

921
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,800
Speaker 2: spirit spirit and actually apply it. So I think I

922
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 2: have a good recipe here says good luck to you guys.

923
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 2: I hope everything works.

924
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 1: Out and you're right. Involve him, tell him exactly what

925
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 1: you need from him, because he sounds like, based on

926
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: what you wrote, he's that type of guy, whatever you need.

927
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's like that's the perfect love language

928
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 2: for me. I'll do whatever you need, babe. That's amazing,

929
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 2: all right.

930
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 1: Number two, Hey Devala Kadeen. My name is k pronounced

931
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: k kaye. I wonder who else pronounced what do they

932
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: say kaye ou kaye? But she says my name is

933
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 1: Kate pronounce k. I'm pretty sure people be fucking her

934
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 1: name up for sure. I really love and adore you guys.

935
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: I've been following your journey since twenty nineteen, and it

936
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 1: is amazing to see how how far you too and

937
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: the family have come. Thank you so much. I remember

938
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 1: rushing back to the dorm after classes in first year

939
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 1: to watch your family videos on YouTube while I ate lunch.

940
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 1: Those were some good times. Now, that's what's up. They

941
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 1: were some good times anyway. To give you some context,

942
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: I'm currently twenty two, a female, in my last year

943
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 1: of university, studying kinesiology and rehabilitation scientists, and writing you

944
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 1: to writing you this letter at two o'clock in the

945
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,439
Speaker 1: morning because I am stuck in capital letters for many years.

946
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: I've been struggling with confidence. Growing up. It was hard

947
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: making friends and never really around my crew until grade

948
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: eight at a small private school. Even in first year

949
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: of UNI, I spent most of my time in my room,

950
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 1: locked away when I didn't have class, because I simply

951
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:45,240
Speaker 1: did not know how to open myself up around others

952
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: without the fear of being disliked or judged. This is

953
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 1: what we talked about earlier. When you become forty, you

954
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: realize that that doesn't matter. But I get where she's

955
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 1: coming from. As a twenty two year absolutely, it even

956
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: got to a point where I started to doubt myself,

957
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: my skills, and my abilities, especially when applying for things.

958
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 1: For my last year, I have the privilege to participate

959
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 1: in the strength and Conditioning practicum after building enough courage

960
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 1: to apply at my school. I aspired to be a trainer,

961
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 1: but I constantly feel behind looking at my classmates and

962
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 1: some of the athletes I work with. It feels as

963
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 1: though I don't know what I'm doing and often feel

964
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: that I do not have what it takes to actually train. Furthermore, ooh,

965
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: that just sounded like I am writing a paper. Yikes.

966
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 1: There is a large stigma on female trainers, especially in

967
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: the sports industry. For example, my supervisors are one of

968
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: three female strength and conditioning coaches at the university level

969
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 1: across Canada, and Canada is not small, y'all. It may

970
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 1: just be all in my head, as I tend to

971
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: overthink a lot. Yes, but I really need to get

972
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 1: a handle on this. I graduate in June and need

973
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: to start practicing or preparing for that transition into the

974
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,919
Speaker 1: career aspects of life as I can be a swim

975
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 1: instructor forever. Two questions Deval, what advice do you have

976
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: for someone going into the training industry, specially in sports. Kadeen,

977
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,800
Speaker 1: what are some things you do to improve or maintain

978
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: confidence in yourself? Ps? I really really really really really

979
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 1: really really really really really guys, every video I watched

980
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: with a smile on my face, even as I am

981
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: crying writing this, and one more thing, you see what

982
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: I did there? Y'all really need to come to Toronto.

983
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 1: Shout out to Toronto.

984
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 2: Year Toronto. We were in Ottawa for a little bit.

985
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,479
Speaker 2: Canada Girl, No one is going to be bought into

986
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,800
Speaker 2: the idea of you if you're not brought into the

987
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: idea of you.

988
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: Facts.

989
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what her background is like growing up,

990
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 2: how she was raised, and the lack of confidence and

991
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 2: where that stems from. But if you approach anything with

992
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 2: any sort of apprehension and people don't feel like you

993
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 2: even believe in yourself, then why would they? Then why

994
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 2: would they? You can speak more to the training aspect

995
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 2: of things, because you know what it's like for that

996
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 2: being I think a male dominant or driven industry, and

997
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,399
Speaker 2: it is it is for the most part.

998
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 1: I understand where she's coming from because she said there's

999
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: a stigma around female trainers. Number One is the idea

1000
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,399
Speaker 1: that a female trainer can't get me to the level

1001
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: because they've never done this, which is absolutely false. Right,

1002
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 1: training is about two things. Number One, the most important

1003
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 1: thing is the science. If you know the science, you

1004
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: know how to get people better. It doesn't matter if

1005
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: you're a man, a woman, a dog. If you know

1006
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 1: how to get people better, people will come. The second

1007
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 1: part is interpersonal communication. You have to find ways to

1008
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 1: motivate people to do the things that they don't want

1009
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 1: to do because you, as a trainer, know that they

1010
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 1: have to do them and they can do it, and

1011
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 1: they can do it. So those are the two most

1012
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 1: important aspects, your ability to motivate people into personal communication,

1013
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: but also the science, and if you practice those two things,

1014
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,240
Speaker 1: you'll be a great trainer. The best way to practice

1015
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: interpersonal communication skills is to interpersonally communicate. Stop being afraid

1016
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: of people. You're in school, walk up to people, introduce yourself,

1017
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 1: because one thing you're gonna have to do is a

1018
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 1: trainer isself. You have to sell yourself. You have to

1019
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: sell packages. You have to be willing to walk up

1020
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 1: to people in the most uncomfortable situations and say, hey,

1021
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 1: how are you doing? My name is K. You know,

1022
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: I've noticed that you were doing this exercise a little

1023
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: bit wrong. You mind, if I help you mm hm

1024
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 1: through that relationship, you build a rapport. Through that rapport,

1025
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 1: you sell them whatever it is that you want to

1026
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 1: sell them, right, So it all starts with confidencing yourself.

1027
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: And like KK said over here, if you don't believe

1028
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 1: in you, who else is going to believe in you?

1029
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 2: It's true, there's people out here who are mediocre as

1030
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 2: fuck at a lot of things. At a lot of things.

1031
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 2: They're just very average and very mediocre. But what sells

1032
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 2: them is their confidence and their ability for other people

1033
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 2: to buy into whatever it is that they are doing

1034
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: or selling or involved with. So you ask me specifically,

1035
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 2: what are some things that I do to improve or

1036
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: maintain myself confidence? It's really doing the uncomfortable things over

1037
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 2: and over again. You know. I started when I was

1038
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 2: about ten or eleven, getting in front of an audience,

1039
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 2: getting in front of pe people, like trying to be

1040
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 2: outgoing pageants definitely helped because you know, you put yourself

1041
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 2: up on the stage and you have to introduce yourself

1042
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 2: and talk to people and be scrutinized like that's a

1043
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 2: huge lens to be under at at a at a

1044
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 2: young age. But it never stopped. I always felt uncomfortable.

1045
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,120
Speaker 2: I always had moments where I was unsure of myself

1046
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 2: until I said, you know what, I'm just gonna keep

1047
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 2: doing this over and over and over again. So it

1048
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 2: starts with, like Deval said, walking up to people saying

1049
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 2: what's up. I think also the New Yorker in US

1050
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 2: gave us an advantage because think about all of the

1051
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 2: crazy shit that just happens on a random subway ride

1052
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 2: in New York. People just be out there doing stuff.

1053
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: But New Yorkers don't talk to each other. They walk

1054
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 1: right by people in New York. I wouldn't use New

1055
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 1: York as an example.

1056
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 2: No, the reason I say New York is because you're

1057
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,439
Speaker 2: just so accustomed to people doing outlandish and weird things

1058
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 2: that if somebody does just come up and spark conversation

1059
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 2: with you, it's not off putting. It's not off putting

1060
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 2: because you're accustomed to that.

1061
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 1: Now, some New Yorkers said this off person, like why

1062
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: are you talking to me? Why are you? Like being

1063
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: on a train, someone goes, hey, how are you doing?

1064
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: They looking at you like, why the fuck are you

1065
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: talking to me, I can see that. Southern. Yeah, Southern

1066
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 1: people they have more of a you know, southern hospitality. Hey,

1067
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: how are you?

1068
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 2: They look you in the eye when because you used

1069
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:09,839
Speaker 2: to like seeing people and saying hello.

1070
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,399
Speaker 1: I think that's more Caribbeans than the New York because

1071
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 1: New york Is don't tell true what I will see,

1072
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 1: what I will say. Though. What you said about pageants

1073
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 1: is what I noticed too. Even when I did martial

1074
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: arts for five years from nine to fourteen, before you

1075
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 1: went up to do a kata, right, you had to

1076
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: go in front of the crowd, in front of the

1077
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 1: judges and say good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name

1078
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 1: is daval Ellis from Modern Combat Systems. I'm about to

1079
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: perform my blue belt Da da da da, which your permission,

1080
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 1: I may begin doing that over and over again, and

1081
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 1: feeling confident to go up and say something and speak

1082
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:46,240
Speaker 1: gave me the confidence and then go perform my kata.

1083
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. So I think it's that

1084
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 1: part of the experience that people are forgetting in this

1085
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: day and age. Everybody do things through the phone. No

1086
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: one walks up to anyone anymore. Even when I'm speaking

1087
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: to the and I'm just like, hey, that so and

1088
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 1: so go and say hello. Yeah. I watch how other

1089
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 1: people's children don't know how to speak. When I'm speaking

1090
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: to young kids or young people, and when I say kids,

1091
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm saying kids.

1092
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 2: Like eighteen, twenty two, yes, she's twenty two.

1093
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,720
Speaker 1: When I go to speak to these young kids, sometimes

1094
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, how you doing. I heard you saying.

1095
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 2: It's just oh, yeah, you actually hit the nail on

1096
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,320
Speaker 2: the head, babe. That's what it is. That's it's this

1097
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 2: generation like her, generation of twenty two and eighteen, that

1098
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 2: just don't even know how to look somebody in the

1099
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 2: eye and have a conversation and to speak up. You know,

1100
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 2: it's like a lost art form, the interpersonal communication side

1101
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 2: of communication side of things. It's really like becoming a

1102
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 2: lost art.

1103
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: But the thing is, it's not a lost art amongst

1104
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 1: the entire world. It's this generation, especially Americans. Americans have

1105
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 1: become addicted to this cell phone. Think about how often

1106
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: we travel now and we go other places. We don't

1107
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 1: see everybody with their head down in the phone everywhere

1108
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 1: we go. One thing in America though, that's everywhere, that's

1109
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: every every person is now stuck what they face in

1110
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 1: the phone. But when we travel to what we went

1111
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: to Italy this past year, when we go to the islands,

1112
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 1: people are a lot more warm when they see you,

1113
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,320
Speaker 1: and a lot more people sit down at dinner and

1114
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: they have conversations and they're not they're not in their

1115
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,879
Speaker 1: phone with their head you know, stuck. So I think

1116
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 1: that that's the biggest thing with this generation. Man, Get

1117
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 1: put the phone down, get away from television, to go outside,

1118
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 1: speak to your neighbors. You know, we've lived here for

1119
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 1: three years now, three years now. There are certain neighbors

1120
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 1: that don't speak. They just don't speak, you know what

1121
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,759
Speaker 1: I'm saying. That's never been the case in the world.

1122
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 1: I knew who all my neighbors were growing up.

1123
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 2: You know. Well, good luck to you, sis. I think

1124
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,720
Speaker 2: you have pretty much all the tools, but this desire

1125
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 2: and wanting to be better and wanting to be confident,

1126
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 2: you just have to go out and do it. There's

1127
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 2: no other way around it. There's no shortcut, right, But

1128
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 2: good luck to you. Thank you for all the support

1129
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 2: that you've given us. Yes, we look forward to you

1130
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 2: growing into your greatness. Look at me sounding like a

1131
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 2: forty year old woman growing into your greatness. All Right, y'all,

1132
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 2: If you want to be featured as one of our

1133
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 2: listener letters, continue to write into us. Email us at

1134
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 2: dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.

1135
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: That's D E A D A S S A D

1136
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com.

1137
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 2: All right, Moment of truth time. We're talking about Devo's

1138
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:25,360
Speaker 2: approach to forty looking fine in the process. I know

1139
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 2: my moment of truth for you as you approach forty

1140
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 2: moment is just I want to continue to find ways

1141
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 2: to enrich your life as you approach a new decade.

1142
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 2: We've been together for two decades so far, this being

1143
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 2: year twenty two approaching for us, and I just want

1144
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,320
Speaker 2: to give you your flowers and just say I just

1145
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 2: love having this front seat and just watching the man

1146
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 2: that you've evolved to be. You've been great since day one.

1147
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 2: I knew when I met you. After two weeks of

1148
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 2: knowing you, you want someone I love you? Did? I

1149
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: love you? Boy? But no, I'm really looking forward to

1150
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,800
Speaker 2: this ride now that I feel like we are. We

1151
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 2: have a lot of things figured out. There's still more

1152
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 2: to be figured out, but he's doing it with you

1153
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 2: makes life that much greater. So I'm here with you

1154
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 2: in whatever capacity you need to make sure that your

1155
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 2: forties are the best decade yet.

1156
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: I love you.

1157
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 2: I love you too.

1158
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: No, I love you, little Fineance. My moment of truth

1159
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,360
Speaker 1: is simple, man. I'm forty. That's it.

1160
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 2: Not yet, not quite yet.

1161
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: I will be forty. I'm embracing it. I asked that

1162
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 1: you guys give me grace. I'm looking back at what

1163
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 1: I've done through my thirties and through my twenties. Some

1164
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: things I like, some things I don't, but all things

1165
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 1: I've learned. And I know that when I turn fifty,

1166
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look back at my forties and say the

1167
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 1: same thing. And when I turn sixty, I'm gonna look back.

1168
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 1: But I'm excited about that, you know. I'm excited about

1169
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 1: evolved and learning and changing and growing and just being

1170
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:09,439
Speaker 1: here with you with the kids. I'm excited about life.

1171
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 1: I just love life. That's just what it is. I

1172
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 1: love life, and I love everybody who supports us. I

1173
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 1: even love everybody who don't like I'm just at the

1174
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 1: point in my life now where all that I love

1175
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: for people. Man, that's all I have is love for people.

1176
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:26,359
Speaker 1: I cry a lot more now because me too.

1177
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 2: I used to be the big crier. Now it's kind

1178
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 2: of evolved.

1179
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do cry a lot more now because I

1180
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 1: used to have that wall up of being tough and

1181
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,480
Speaker 1: having to be a certain way because I thought that

1182
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,239
Speaker 1: that's the only way you can exist in the world.

1183
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,759
Speaker 1: But now when stuff hit me, yeah, absolutely, especially as

1184
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 1: a black man, I always have my guard up. But

1185
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 1: now when stuff hit me, I let it hit me.

1186
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 2: Man.

1187
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: I look at my kids sometimes I just cry and

1188
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 1: they crying for and I'm just like, I look at

1189
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 1: y'all growing, and I'm happy. I'm all a students, all

1190
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 1: extremely respectful. I'm just I'm proud of everything you and

1191
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 1: I have built. I'm excited about my forty years so far.

1192
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:02,760
Speaker 1: I have no regrets. No, I have no regrets. Everything

1193
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:08,320
Speaker 1: that has happened to us for us, I feel like

1194
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: it was purposeful for sure.

1195
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 2: For sure. Is it beauty and being able to look

1196
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 2: back every year? And I can't wait to do that

1197
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 2: when we're ninety yks. You knows all right, y'all, be

1198
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 2: sure to follow us on Patreon. If you are not

1199
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 2: subscribed yet, you gotta jump on man. All the exclusive

1200
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,479
Speaker 2: footage that we have here from dead Ass Podcasts, video

1201
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 2: content to Ellis family content. You can find it right

1202
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 2: there on Patreon, so join us, tell a friend, and

1203
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 2: be sure to follow us on social media at dead

1204
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 2: Ass the podcast I Am Kadeen, I Am and.

1205
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:43,400
Speaker 1: I Am Devout And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,

1206
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: be sure it's rate review. Subscribe. Get your copy of

1207
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 1: We Over Me, The Counterintuitive approach to getting everything you

1208
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 1: want out of your relationship, and get them. Tickets to

1209
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 1: the Love Against the World Tour, Baby, we are almost

1210
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 1: sold out, so don't miss it. This is going to

1211
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 1: be our final tour for a while. We are going

1212
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 1: out with a bang. Baby, I'm telling y'all what y'all

1213
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 1: see from us, y'all gonna be like Dania Mellis did that.

1214
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 2: I know. And people have been asking for like certain cities,

1215
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: like why haven't y'all come here? There and there? We're

1216
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 2: going based on where they say podcasts have been successful

1217
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 2: and we can, you know, and we pull the crowd out.

1218
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 1: Because Chicago, Detroit. Man, we went up there to Detroit

1219
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: last year in February and it almost got snowed out.

1220
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: It was a blizzard, so Detroit, you know, I love

1221
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 1: y'all Shout out to u of M national championships for

1222
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 1: their football team. Shout out to the Detroit Lions when

1223
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 1: they first playoff game for the first time I think

1224
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: since nineteen ninety one. Detroit is popping right now, So.

1225
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 2: We Come Back has a special place in our heart.

1226
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 2: In Chicago, that show was.

1227
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was my favorite show so far.

1228
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 2: Absolutely, But Chicago in February is woe.

1229
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 1: Maybe summertime. Summer time shot.

1230
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:49,920
Speaker 2: Listen, just come on to New York real quick. The

1231
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 2: Apollo is going to be iconic.

1232
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 1: FA We'll see the dead Ass. Dead Ass is a

1233
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:00,040
Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia podcast network and it's produced by a

1234
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 1: do Nor Opinion and Trible. Follow the podcast on social

1235
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 1: media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss a Thing.