Speaker 1: You know what I always wanted my whole life. I
Speaker 1: always wanted my voice to sound like yours. I realized
Speaker 1: that when you were talking. I was like, I was
Speaker 1: just like, I've just loved your We always call it
Speaker 1: a dirty laugh, which is so awful of the English
Speaker 1: and sexist. My mother she was like, you have to
Speaker 1: appear dis actress laugh. She was like, she's the dirtiest
Speaker 1: laugh I've ever heard, and she introduced me to your laugh.
Speaker 2: It is a dirty laugh. My dad and my mother
Speaker 2: both had dirty laughs, so I've got the genetic coding
Speaker 2: for filthy laugh rauble dirty. Yeah, Hello, I'm Mini driver.
Speaker 2: I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth
Speaker 2: century parlor game where players would ask each other thirty
Speaker 2: five questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature.
Speaker 2: In asking different people the same set of questions, you
Speaker 2: can make observations about which truths appear to be universal.
Speaker 2: And it made me wonder, what if these questions were
Speaker 2: just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be
Speaker 2: revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So
Speaker 2: I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own. Seven
Speaker 2: questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.
Speaker 2: They are when and where were you happiest? What is
Speaker 2: the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real
Speaker 2: or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you
Speaker 2: most like answered? What person, place, or experience has shaped
Speaker 2: you the most? What would be your last meal? And
Speaker 2: can you tell me something in your life that's grown
Speaker 2: out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group
Speaker 2: of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and
Speaker 2: humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You
Speaker 2: may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions.
Speaker 2: We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to
Speaker 2: their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most
Speaker 2: fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the actor,
Speaker 2: activist and podcaster Jimi La Jamil. Jamila started out presenting
Speaker 2: on UK television and radio and then found her way
Speaker 2: onto the brilliant and extremely successful comedy The Good Place.
Speaker 2: During the pandemic, she began a podcast called Iwey with
Speaker 2: Jamila Jamil, which is a conversational female focused podcast exploring
Speaker 2: body positivity racial inclusivity, and much more. The thing I
Speaker 2: love best about Jamila is that she is a voice.
Speaker 2: While most celebrities have a certain curated presentation of opinions
Speaker 2: in these times of rampant cancelation, Jamila stands by her voice,
Speaker 2: her advocacy of women and the need for changing the
Speaker 2: way women are passed by society. She is unaffectedly, raw, funny,
Speaker 2: and herself a rare force of nature in your life?
Speaker 2: Can you tell me where and when you are happiest?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, where and when was I happiest? It was
Speaker 1: I think Thanksgiving and a friend photographed this moment, and
Speaker 1: now I've got it for I could send it to you.
Speaker 1: But I was cuddling on the sofa with my boyfriend
Speaker 1: of nine years and our two dogs, and everything was
Speaker 1: the most peaceful it's ever been in my life. I
Speaker 1: am the most grown up I have ever been, thank God,
Speaker 1: considering I am significantly older, and I had no worries
Speaker 1: or problems in that moment. I was just surrounded by
Speaker 1: everything I love. Everything was soft and loving and wonderful,
Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that that moment is captured. And
Speaker 1: I'm laughing hysterically in the photo and I can see
Speaker 1: that it's genuine happiness. There's so many smiles I've done
Speaker 1: for photographs on red carpets or at work or even
Speaker 1: at other people's parties, and I can see in my
Speaker 1: eyes that I'm faking it. And I would say, the
Speaker 1: happiest moment in my life has just happened, and hopefully
Speaker 1: it will lead to many more.
Speaker 2: Oh, do you think there's like a pack mentality in
Speaker 2: that that snuffle of dogs you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a scrum. I think it's tribal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that feeling of like being in something and that
Speaker 2: nothing could harm you, nothing could penetrate that, And it's
Speaker 2: I find you can only be purely present with dogs
Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, lovers and it's a different story, but
Speaker 2: dogs they require complete presence.
Speaker 1: It just like my happiness equates, I think genuinely to
Speaker 1: my sort of dopamine and my quarter sole levels, you know,
Speaker 1: quarter cell being the kind of stress hormone like dogs, cuddles, affection, laughter,
Speaker 1: These things lower my quarter sole levels and they increase
Speaker 1: my dopamine levels. And that I've started to look at
Speaker 1: myself as a sort of neurochemical computer and now focus
Speaker 1: only in every area of life of is it going
Speaker 1: to bring me cortisol? Or is it going to bring
Speaker 1: me dopamine? Because that's how I decide. That's how I make.
Speaker 1: Almost every decision now is not based on how impressive
Speaker 1: it's going to make me, or how thin I'm going
Speaker 1: to become, or all the different stupid fucking metrics that
Speaker 1: we have. I'm deciding everything based on the neural chemicals
Speaker 1: it's going to release in my brain, because they're in
Speaker 1: lies happiness.
Speaker 2: I absolutely love that the chemical decisions. Is this going
Speaker 2: to bring me cortisol? Is this going to really dopemine?
Speaker 2: So I just had all my blood work done the
Speaker 2: other day because things have felt kind of out of balance,
Speaker 2: and it turns out that I am completely and utterly
Speaker 2: negative DHA, which you might know, I don't know, balances
Speaker 2: your adrenal system. So basically all I am doing is
Speaker 2: pumping cortisol around my body. But my understanding is if
Speaker 2: you don't have any DHA, which I think balances and calms,
Speaker 2: that you're only going to be in fight or flight
Speaker 2: panic mode, which is essentially, when something tricky happens, I
Speaker 2: pull in every other tricky, awful thing and it turns
Speaker 2: into a kind of panic sandwich, and it was really
Speaker 2: interesting to go, Look, that might be part of my
Speaker 2: mental makeup, but there is also a full blown chemical
Speaker 2: reason behind that. And I love the notion of like encouraging.
Speaker 2: Is this going to make me feel good or is
Speaker 2: this going to make me feel stressed?
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had a blood test result come back yesterday
Speaker 1: that showed that I still have low DHA, but I
Speaker 1: didn't know what it was, and I thought to myself, God,
Speaker 1: I'm not even aware of when my adrenals are activated
Speaker 1: because I've been activated since I was born. Probably you know,
Speaker 1: I've been so stressed for so long that I don't
Speaker 1: really remember what peace feels like. So now when I
Speaker 1: get kind of snapshots of it like I did.
Speaker 2: Well, you've got a literal picture of that now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm getting it framed so we can remind me
Speaker 1: to always seek out that moment.
Speaker 2: H I think it's a brilliant thing, just generally, to
Speaker 2: be able to identify what increases a dopamine response and
Speaker 2: what increases stress. It's not always possible to cut out
Speaker 2: the stuff that is stressful, but I do think you
Speaker 2: can focus on the stuff that is good and heads
Speaker 2: towards that consciously or like on your weekend when you're
Speaker 2: not in an office.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I've been having like a sort of
Speaker 1: existential not breakdown, but break through, I would say in
Speaker 1: the last year, we spoke about it on the phone,
Speaker 1: you and I, where I was telling you that I've
Speaker 1: like suddenly had this huge like what the fuck am
Speaker 1: I doing? Why am I living somewhere so expensive? Why
Speaker 1: am I working too hard and spending less time with
Speaker 1: my dogs and my boyfriend and my friends. That moment
Speaker 1: epitomized like me feeling like, Oh, I've fucking smashed it
Speaker 1: in life, more than any award I've ever won, more
Speaker 1: than any accolade I've ever had, more than any set
Speaker 1: I've ever been on. That moment was just my like
Speaker 1: this is my academy award, Like this is what I've
Speaker 1: been striving towards, and now I'm like furiously chasing that
Speaker 1: feeling where I'm so lucky to do the job that
Speaker 1: I do. But the amount that people work and feel
Speaker 1: encouraged to work, and the way that we have bastardized
Speaker 1: the idea of discipline, but only discipline towards one thing,
Speaker 1: and not discipline towards happiness and mental health and physical health.
Speaker 1: I think it's just fucked. And so I've decided to
Speaker 1: take that into my own hands and now seek pleasure
Speaker 1: not as an indulgence but as a necessity.
Speaker 2: Hmm oh, I like that. I'm going to needle point
Speaker 2: that on a pillow.
Speaker 1: Well, especially as women, we're taught that everything is like,
Speaker 1: you're lucky. If you enjoy it, you're lucky. If you
Speaker 1: have a good time, you're lucky. If you come during sex,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, what a king, what a god? I
Speaker 1: got to also have an orgasm, Like, it's amazing. The
Speaker 1: way that it has been like somehow rebranded as an indulgence,
Speaker 1: as an extra, as an if you're lucky, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: We're sort of shamed out of the pursuit of any
Speaker 1: kind of pleasure. And so that's why I've decided to
Speaker 1: completely shift my adventure.
Speaker 2: What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you?
Speaker 1: Oh God, what a great question as a pathetic answer
Speaker 1: to say, my dog, isn't it?
Speaker 2: No, it's not pathetic. It is not. Your answers are
Speaker 2: not pathetic. They are your answers. And this is a
Speaker 2: judgment free zone.
Speaker 1: Because the reason I say this is because my firstborn dog,
Speaker 1: Baryld and I have a spiritual connection. I don't care
Speaker 1: what anyone says. We have known each other in other lives.
Speaker 1: He just gets me. I get him. We have these
Speaker 1: long staring sessions between the two of us, and dogs
Speaker 1: don't really like to make eye contact with people, but
Speaker 1: he just wants to stare in my eyes. And I believe,
Speaker 1: which shows that I'm clearly still crazy that we are
Speaker 1: telepathically communicating, like I really and this is the sort
Speaker 1: of thing that will be like clipped and then that'll
Speaker 1: be a headline as if I'm completely serious. Obviously, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend that is a meaningful and extraordinary love. But this
Speaker 1: dog and human relationship is just completely ridiculous. I can't
Speaker 1: explain it. I think it's the fact that something can
Speaker 1: be a different species to me and I don't get
Speaker 1: anything back from him. Right He shits and I pick
Speaker 1: it up, and all the laborer is coming from my end.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: We talk about their unconditional love for us, and I'm like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm the one putting in all of the work here
Speaker 1: and doing all of the feeding and paying the rent
Speaker 1: and doing everything. But oh God, the way that I
Speaker 1: could love something that is a different species for me
Speaker 1: has really shocked me because I was not an animal
Speaker 1: person until I had him. Oh, writ at all, not
Speaker 1: at all, not interested, didn't give a shit.
Speaker 2: So it was just him, just him specifically, and how
Speaker 2: did you find him?
Speaker 1: He was gifted to me during the pandemic by someone
Speaker 1: who knew of this doggie who needed a home, and
Speaker 1: so he was given to me.
Speaker 2: But why do they think of you the legendary animal
Speaker 2: dislike her?
Speaker 1: I wasn't an animal dislike her. I was just indifferent.
Speaker 1: But I think that I so many questions because I'd
Speaker 1: had a nervous breakdown. All right, Minnie, I had.
Speaker 2: A nice break and they wanted to make you feel
Speaker 2: w They were like a dog. Let's see if this
Speaker 2: will help, Jamina, Let's see.
Speaker 1: And also to be like perfectly candid. My boyfriend also
Speaker 1: was thinking that maybe we should have children together, which
Speaker 1: I don't know why you would ever think that after
Speaker 1: spending time with me, but he did. And I was
Speaker 1: very against the idea of having children, and I think
Speaker 1: he wanted to see if it would bring out something
Speaker 1: maternal in me, so I think that was also part
Speaker 1: of the agenda. But then having a dog was so
Speaker 1: hard that he didn't want children anymore after having a dog.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. So it actually worked out for everybody.
Speaker 1: I win everything. I am God's favorite. It all worked
Speaker 1: out in my favorite, and I got this extraordinary puppy
Speaker 1: that I completely fell in love with.
Speaker 2: So it was a puppy when you got it. That's
Speaker 2: why it was so hard, because it is a bit
Speaker 2: like having a newborn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. But my relationship with my dog
Speaker 1: is the most unexpected, strange and brilliant love. And I
Speaker 1: really struggle with being perceived. I don't like to be perceived,
Speaker 1: which is so ridiculous because I've put myself in an
Speaker 1: industry where I'm constantly subjected to perception and it is
Speaker 1: my fault. Just to be clear, I have subjected myself
Speaker 1: to constant scrutiny and perception, and yet I hate it,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to be looked at and I
Speaker 1: don't want to be observed. And what I feel about
Speaker 1: the dog is that he's just never they're judging, because
Speaker 1: he's not. He doesn't care what I look like. He
Speaker 1: doesn't know what I'm supposed to look like. I'm not
Speaker 1: supposed to look like. He doesn't care and I think,
Speaker 1: or if I'm clumsy, or if I'm tired and boring,
Speaker 1: there's still a feeling in any romantic relationship or friendship
Speaker 1: of expectation that I don't feel with the dog. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that I don't show up for him,
Speaker 1: but it just means that the markers are very different.
Speaker 1: You know, I still have to be some sort of
Speaker 1: sexy and some sort of attractive in front of my partner.
Speaker 1: I don't have to do that in front of a dog.
Speaker 2: Listen, you don't have to convince me that it is
Speaker 2: one of the greatest loves of all with the dog.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it could never be a fictional one, because I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I've yet found a fictional representation of
Speaker 1: what I consider to be a love that I relate
Speaker 1: to HM. You know, like my idea of love is
Speaker 1: so the opposite of what Hollywood's sold to us as
Speaker 1: romance and love, you know, and I think it really
Speaker 1: fucked us up and gave us really unhealthy ideals. And
Speaker 1: you know, I thought I wasn't in love with my
Speaker 1: boyfriend because I had no adrenaline, you know, I had
Speaker 1: no fight or flight, I had no panic. My appetite
Speaker 1: was fine, I was sleeping well. And then I heard
Speaker 1: this Nat King Cole song that I then played to
Speaker 1: him because he felt the same way. We just kept
Speaker 1: on being like, are we just friends who are shagging?
Speaker 1: We couldn't understand what this bond was or why we
Speaker 1: didn't want to leave each other side, but we also
Speaker 1: didn't feel ostensibly quote unquote in love with each other.
Speaker 1: And then I played in this song by Nat King
Speaker 1: Cole called This Can't Be Love, in which he sings
Speaker 1: about this exact phenomena of like, well, this can't be
Speaker 1: love because I feel too well, I'm eating I'm sleeping great.
Speaker 1: I mean, I clearly like you. I love to be
Speaker 1: where you are, but like, I'm not in love with
Speaker 1: you because it's ridiculous. I don't feel panicked all the time.
Speaker 1: And that song was whistleblowing that we are being fed
Speaker 1: romantic bullshit and that actually real love. And I'm more
Speaker 1: in love with James now than I was nine years ago.
Speaker 1: And I would have missed out on that fucking relationship
Speaker 1: because I was trained to think that the person who
Speaker 1: gives me anxiety.
Speaker 2: It's the one who you actually love.
Speaker 1: That my body is telling me to fucking run away
Speaker 1: from I'm going, oh wow, this is the one.
Speaker 2: Ah, this is it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is it A ruined me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is exactly what I meant. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I don't believe on the bad boy. I believe
Speaker 1: in the nice person and I want to be with
Speaker 1: someone who makes me feel calm.
Speaker 2: I couldn't agree with you more. I have found exactly
Speaker 2: the same person in that dynamic cotonit and it was
Speaker 2: a little bit later, but it's fucking boring to watch.
Speaker 1: So that's why no one would ever want to watch
Speaker 1: this love story about me and James who just had
Speaker 1: a really lovely, safe time forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to ask you really quickly, just going
Speaker 2: back to your dog? Oh yeah, not that I don't
Speaker 2: love James, but I want to get back to your dog.
Speaker 2: Have you ever thought of getting those communication paths where
Speaker 2: you know, they hit a thing like mum walk now, bitch.
Speaker 1: No, only because I worry it would break this idea
Speaker 1: I have that he loves me too, because what if
Speaker 1: he's just like cunt cunt, cunt cunt, you look ugly today?
Speaker 1: And then I realized he is judging me.
Speaker 2: Don't you understand? You create the communication had yourself, and
Speaker 2: it just says bliss love.
Speaker 1: Now that's too much. No, that's too that's too control. No,
Speaker 1: I can't monitor what he's saying. I would love to.
Speaker 1: I always think it would be really funny. Also, my
Speaker 1: dog wouldn't learn. I was told by a trainer that
Speaker 1: he has a low desire to please, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's my baby. He got that from me.
Speaker 2: By the way, I have a similar dog. He's an
Speaker 2: absolute ass. I love him pieces he actually has very
Speaker 2: few dog like qualities. Yeah, I can't wait to meet that.
Speaker 1: And my other dog is amazing as well. But I'm
Speaker 1: just saying I've known baroled for much longer.
Speaker 2: Barreled barrel like Harold.
Speaker 1: But I have a friend who's English and so posh
Speaker 1: that she thought what I wanted to call him Barry
Speaker 1: because that's my favorite name. She was like, oh Barry
Speaker 1: is that short for barreled?
Speaker 2: Well it is. Now what question would you most like? Answered? Oh?
Speaker 2: Fuck me?
Speaker 1: Does anyone enjoy reverse cowgirl?
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm going to get a lot of
Speaker 2: very interesting letters.
Speaker 1: Now because I know the people I think who are
Speaker 1: receiving it do, but I mean enjoy doing it? Does
Speaker 1: anyone enjoy doing reverth cowgirl. Maybe there are other questions
Speaker 1: in life.
Speaker 2: There are other questions. I mean, I'll take that as
Speaker 2: a very practical one.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure what kind of other questions have you had?
Speaker 2: You know, what happens when you die? Oh? Yeah, are
Speaker 2: they aliens?
Speaker 1: We can do this again? No, no, we can do
Speaker 1: this again. I hadn't pre read any questions. I'm sorry, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: Do you mean you don't understand? That is a great,
Speaker 2: great answer. And the silence afterwards is only because I've
Speaker 2: basically been bludgeoned with the regular answers. And that really
Speaker 2: is a very good question. And I look forward to
Speaker 2: people saying yes, I enjoy it. But then why we
Speaker 2: need a why? I don't want to know.
Speaker 1: Just yes or no.
Speaker 2: Maybe because they have a really nice bottom and they
Speaker 2: love it being looked at.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's not me, you know. And I also
Speaker 1: really hate exercise. I hate bouncing up and down. I
Speaker 1: hate moving. And then also like the looking back are
Speaker 1: you supposed to do it as well?
Speaker 2: It sort of hurts you, particularly after the age of fifty,
Speaker 2: like looking back over your shoulders like ow and bouncing
Speaker 2: this is a chiropractic nightmare. What is the quality you
Speaker 2: like least about yourself.
Speaker 1: Oh, the quality I like least about myself. I'm quite
Speaker 1: rude and I'm working on it. Okay, I don't mean
Speaker 1: to hurt people's feelings, but I'm incredibly candid and I
Speaker 1: see in negatives. So when I listen to something, when
Speaker 1: I look at something, when I hear something, I can
Speaker 1: only first identify what's wrong. So I have such a
Speaker 1: critical brain, but not really in a judgmental way, justin
Speaker 1: that's all I can see. I noticed these problems and
Speaker 1: they need to be addressed, and then I can relax
Speaker 1: and enjoy the rest of the art. And my boyfriend
Speaker 1: has been teaching me about the shit sandwich, whereas I
Speaker 1: was doing shit on toast, which is where you say
Speaker 1: something not nice first and then you say you at
Speaker 1: the end cushing it with something lovely. So I've learned
Speaker 1: to override my instinct and say something, find something nice
Speaker 1: to say first, and then deliver my critique. But I
Speaker 1: really need to work on my delivery.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. I think that's really interesting that
Speaker 2: you know really clearly that there is this thing that
Speaker 2: you want to work on. I think it's good that
Speaker 2: you know that I do exactly the same thing I've
Speaker 2: had to teach myself. You know, it's funny with directors
Speaker 2: when you're really in it and you've done what you
Speaker 2: considered to be a good or an interesting or at
Speaker 2: least a good place to start take and they come
Speaker 2: in and they go, that was perfect. That was perfect.
Speaker 2: Now you need to do this and this. My brain
Speaker 2: has been miswired because being told something is perfect, but
Speaker 2: then being told that we have to carry on and
Speaker 2: do it is so not helpful. It's so much better.
Speaker 2: For example, if a director comes in and goes, I
Speaker 2: really loved the way you made me listen to this
Speaker 2: section of that speech. I'd really love to feel the
Speaker 2: same way at the end of that the end of
Speaker 2: the scene, Like that is so helpful and so brilliant
Speaker 2: because it's not unclear. Yeah, I like that. Your boyfriend
Speaker 2: has said very clearly, you need to work on your
Speaker 2: shit sandwhich not your shit on toast. Yeah it's a
Speaker 2: vile analogy, but also really.
Speaker 1: It is graphic, but it has really really helped me.
Speaker 1: And everyone said, I've come a really long way in
Speaker 1: the last few years.
Speaker 2: Everyone everyone says, I'm so much better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I called an actor turned sort of pundit of
Speaker 1: politician type figure. I said publicly that he looked like
Speaker 1: a freshly wanked cock. Oh my god, didn't I did
Speaker 1: think I did personal attack. Now, he is not a
Speaker 1: nice man. He says horrible, hateful things, right, but I
Speaker 1: just lowered myself to his level and then some because
Speaker 1: I delivered what was not It's not not funny.
Speaker 3: It's not not funny, and it might also not be
Speaker 3: not true. However, that is subjective. Because the wanked cock
Speaker 3: is in the eye of the beholder. It's what I've learned.
Speaker 3: And that's the clip from this podcast.
Speaker 2: Well that's also now another thing to get needle pointed
Speaker 2: on a pillow. Yeah, the wanked cock is in the
Speaker 2: eye of the beholder.
Speaker 1: But either way, why say it like that? It didn't
Speaker 1: do me any favors in the long run.
Speaker 2: By the way, here's me now immediately giving you advice.
Speaker 2: I want to read that sentence in a book. I
Speaker 2: don't want you to be attacked for saying that, but
Speaker 2: me reading that in a book makes me laugh so uncontrollably.
Speaker 2: And you have such a brilliant turn of phrase. I
Speaker 2: do think that perhaps that is the distance that you
Speaker 2: are going to require. Is that you can put all
Speaker 2: those thoughts down, then an editor can go through and go, well,
Speaker 2: I'm not tethering that to an actual person, but that's
Speaker 2: brilliant observation about a human.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, there you go. I think he was being
Speaker 1: mean about fat people or something, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: be like, who are you to criticize the way that
Speaker 1: anyone looks? But then I'm still doing it, I'm still participating.
Speaker 1: So growing up a little bit late, but I was
Speaker 1: to be fair crazy, So I think that that is
Speaker 1: a slight get out of jail free cut as not.
Speaker 1: But I really was crazy for a really long time.
Speaker 1: And because I was famous, nobody told me. And so
Speaker 1: I was a little bit late to the development game.
Speaker 1: And I'm getting there and I think I'm making up
Speaker 1: good time. Well here we are, but I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get to a better place before I turn forty.
Speaker 2: Great, you've got a year in your life. What person, place,
Speaker 2: or experience most altered your life?
Speaker 1: Oh, person, place, or experience. I've got two good ones.
Speaker 1: Am I only allowed to choose one?
Speaker 2: Now you can tell us both and then we'll choose
Speaker 2: which one's the first. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1: That feels good.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: I was hit by car at seventeen, just before I
Speaker 1: was seventeen, and I broke my back and it completely
Speaker 1: changed my life for the obvious reasons because it interrupted
Speaker 1: my life, but also it meant that I had this
Speaker 1: sense of perspective for the rest of my existence that
Speaker 1: has been unshakable. That I do not sweat the small stuff.
Speaker 1: And there's a certain extent to which I allow myself
Speaker 1: to be neurotic, but generally I have a very strong
Speaker 1: and overwhelming idea that essentially everything's going to be okay.
Speaker 1: Like my metric is that as long as I can
Speaker 1: peel my own, I've smashed it. And so it's given
Speaker 1: me a very simple metric to meet my whole life
Speaker 1: where I didn't need to impress anyone particularly, I didn't
Speaker 1: need to do anything extraordinary. I just wanted to be
Speaker 1: able to pee on my own. And it has led
Speaker 1: to being in an industry that can really devastate people
Speaker 1: because of the expectation and given me a fairly level head.
Speaker 1: I was hit by one car into another car. Wow,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just like flipping around all over the
Speaker 1: road and Hamstead like a pancake. And I survived, which
Speaker 1: is a miracle, and it just reframed the rest of
Speaker 1: my life. It made me very unafraid of failure, and
Speaker 1: it made me feel very obsessive about making them most
Speaker 1: of everything. And so that doesn't make me a great adventurer.
Speaker 1: You know, I haven't climbed mountains, et cetera. Obviously, my
Speaker 1: attitude to reverse cowgirl sort of sets us up for
Speaker 1: not a very literally adventurous mentality. But I want to
Speaker 1: just fucking soak up people and life and food and experiences.
Speaker 1: I think that I owe that to that very early
Speaker 1: cluster fuck that really it really went down like a
Speaker 1: fucking barrel of shit. But that was fine. I would
Speaker 1: not be the woman I am today if it were
Speaker 1: not for that time. It was also an extraordinary year
Speaker 1: and I was so happy because I was on morphine,
Speaker 1: which is heroin really, and I was watching television all
Speaker 1: day and it was the golden years of film and TV,
Speaker 1: and I was eating ice cream all day, because when
Speaker 1: you're completely fucked, everyone just brings you comfort food. So
Speaker 1: it was thrilling. When people go like, oh, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm always like it was the greatest year of my life.
Speaker 1: So that is my main defining.
Speaker 2: One okay, So what would be your last meal?
Speaker 1: My last meal would be chops and chips.
Speaker 2: What kind of chops?
Speaker 1: Poor called lamb lamb chops, lammers, lammers, chops and chips,
Speaker 1: but with.
Speaker 2: Light mint sauce and ketch up with the chips.
Speaker 1: No, I hate ketch up. Hate ketchup. I despise it,
Speaker 1: despise a condiment that isn't other than mustard. Mustard has
Speaker 1: managed to seep through. But I don't like anything that's
Speaker 1: a big sauce, So chops and chips. Is there a
Speaker 1: place that you have this or is this something you make?
Speaker 1: Because I don't think I've ever seen lamb chops. I
Speaker 1: guess I have seen lamb chops on the menu where
Speaker 1: you could order a side of fries. No, I horrify
Speaker 1: every restaurant that has them with my order. I guess
Speaker 1: it's like a Greek restaurant who has chips available for
Speaker 1: the Neanderthal English people who come in and don't want
Speaker 1: their delicious lemon potatoes. But I am said Neanderthal, and
Speaker 1: so like, I just fucking love chips. I need to
Speaker 1: eat them with everything.
Speaker 2: I love chips too.
Speaker 1: I have chips with every meal that I can. They
Speaker 1: are a key part of my diet because when I
Speaker 1: had anorexia, I never ate chips, and so now I
Speaker 1: am determined to make up for some lost time within
Speaker 1: you know, reason, so that I can make sure I
Speaker 1: give myself those things that I had demonized. But as
Speaker 1: a child, my grandparents used to take me because I
Speaker 1: grew up in Spain, and so we used to go
Speaker 1: up into the mountains and there would be a special
Speaker 1: restaurant that had chops and chips, lamb chops and chips,
Speaker 1: And there's just something about that combination that reminds me
Speaker 1: of a really happy, simple time in my life. It's
Speaker 1: a simple meal and it's just delicious and salty. So
Speaker 1: that's my favorite. That's my favorite thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't even eat me? And that sounds good
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 1: It's fucking wonderful. I know I should be a vegetarian
Speaker 1: or a vegan.
Speaker 2: You should not should No, no, no no. I won't have.
Speaker 1: People say I'm a bad feminist because I.
Speaker 2: Know we're not here to like you literally just said
Speaker 2: this thing that not only delights you in terms of
Speaker 2: the food, but the memory of it with your grandparents
Speaker 2: and the mountains in Spain, This beautiful image.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't even them they were horrible people.
Speaker 2: It was just they were You know, what I'm learning
Speaker 2: about you is that you, more than maybe anyone I've
Speaker 2: ever met, you can create the most beautiful image, and
Speaker 2: then it's almost that you can't help but dows it
Speaker 2: with the most awful bias.
Speaker 1: You have to talk to James.
Speaker 2: You're so incredibly articulate, and you create these images that
Speaker 2: are so beautiful, but then it's almost like you can't
Speaker 2: just allow it to be. You have to dowse it
Speaker 2: with something painful.
Speaker 1: It's with the truth. It was just a happy time
Speaker 1: in my life, right, It was a happy time in
Speaker 1: my life. I loved living in Spain. It was a
Speaker 1: simple existence. It was sunshine and sandy beaches, and I
Speaker 1: didn't know anything about politics or you know, sexual violence,
Speaker 1: or I had no self consciousness. I thought having a
Speaker 1: big belly was the most extraordinary thing on earth, Like
Speaker 1: I would push it out as much as possible. Like
Speaker 1: it was just such a pure time. And that taste
Speaker 1: immediately takes me back to that pure mindset of I
Speaker 1: have no problems, and life is beach.
Speaker 2: It's pristian, it's lovely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, life is Beach.
Speaker 2: Life is chop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Life is Beach and Chops and Chips.
Speaker 2: Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me. Mini Driver
Speaker 2: Executive produced by Me and Aaron Kaufman, with production support
Speaker 2: from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Denkler and Ali Perry. The theme
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