WEBVTT - Jameela Jamil 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:05.920 You know what I always wanted my whole life. I 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:08.240 always wanted my voice to sound like yours. I realized 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:09.640 that when you were talking. I was like, I was 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:11.399 just like, I've just loved your We always call it 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.560 a dirty laugh, which is so awful of the English 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:16.000 and sexist. My mother she was like, you have to 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.239 appear dis actress laugh. She was like, she's the dirtiest 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.320 laugh I've ever heard, and she introduced me to your laugh. 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:24.840 It is a dirty laugh. My dad and my mother 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:28.000 both had dirty laughs, so I've got the genetic coding 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:34.880 for filthy laugh rauble dirty. Yeah, Hello, I'm Mini driver. 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:39.839 I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:43.360 century parlor game where players would ask each other thirty 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:47.040 five questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature. 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.879 In asking different people the same set of questions, you 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:54.240 can make observations about which truths appear to be universal. 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:57.240 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:57.320 --> 0:00:59.960 just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:04.080 revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:07.000 I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own. Seven 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:10.399 questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:13.840 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:17.319 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:21.080 or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:25.200 most like answered? What person, place, or experience has shaped 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:27.960 you the most? What would be your last meal? And 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.560 can you tell me something in your life that's grown 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:34.039 out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:38.560 of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.319 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.600 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:48.160 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:52.520 their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:57.000 fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the actor, 0:01:57.120 --> 0:02:01.440 activist and podcaster Jimi La Jamil. Jamila started out presenting 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:03.920 on UK television and radio and then found her way 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:07.120 onto the brilliant and extremely successful comedy The Good Place. 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:10.880 During the pandemic, she began a podcast called Iwey with 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:15.240 Jamila Jamil, which is a conversational female focused podcast exploring 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:19.160 body positivity racial inclusivity, and much more. The thing I 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:22.280 love best about Jamila is that she is a voice. 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:26.880 While most celebrities have a certain curated presentation of opinions 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:31.120 in these times of rampant cancelation, Jamila stands by her voice, 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:34.239 her advocacy of women and the need for changing the 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:39.200 way women are passed by society. She is unaffectedly, raw, funny, 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:46.560 and herself a rare force of nature in your life? 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.840 Can you tell me where and when you are happiest? 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:54.040 Oh? Okay, where and when was I happiest? It was 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:59.320 I think Thanksgiving and a friend photographed this moment, and 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:01.560 now I've got it for I could send it to you. 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:05.960 But I was cuddling on the sofa with my boyfriend 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:12.280 of nine years and our two dogs, and everything was 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:14.480 the most peaceful it's ever been in my life. I 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.519 am the most grown up I have ever been, thank God, 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:21.519 considering I am significantly older, and I had no worries 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:24.560 or problems in that moment. I was just surrounded by 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.480 everything I love. Everything was soft and loving and wonderful, 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:31.360 and I'm so glad that that moment is captured. And 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:34.720 I'm laughing hysterically in the photo and I can see 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:38.080 that it's genuine happiness. There's so many smiles I've done 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:41.720 for photographs on red carpets or at work or even 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.000 at other people's parties, and I can see in my 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:46.880 eyes that I'm faking it. And I would say, the 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:49.720 happiest moment in my life has just happened, and hopefully 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:51.120 it will lead to many more. 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:54.800 Oh, do you think there's like a pack mentality in 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:58.320 that that snuffle of dogs you? 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:01.080 Yeah, in a scrum. I think it's tribal. 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.880 Yeah, that feeling of like being in something and that 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.360 nothing could harm you, nothing could penetrate that, And it's 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:11.240 I find you can only be purely present with dogs 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:13.520 as well. Yeah, lovers and it's a different story, but 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.360 dogs they require complete presence. 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:20.880 It just like my happiness equates, I think genuinely to 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.280 my sort of dopamine and my quarter sole levels, you know, 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:28.880 quarter cell being the kind of stress hormone like dogs, cuddles, affection, laughter, 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:32.000 These things lower my quarter sole levels and they increase 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.840 my dopamine levels. And that I've started to look at 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:38.640 myself as a sort of neurochemical computer and now focus 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:41.600 only in every area of life of is it going 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:43.440 to bring me cortisol? Or is it going to bring 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:47.240 me dopamine? Because that's how I decide. That's how I make. 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:50.400 Almost every decision now is not based on how impressive 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.600 it's going to make me, or how thin I'm going 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:56.440 to become, or all the different stupid fucking metrics that 0:04:56.480 --> 0:05:00.440 we have. I'm deciding everything based on the neural chemicals 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.480 it's going to release in my brain, because they're in 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:03.279 lies happiness. 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:08.320 I absolutely love that the chemical decisions. Is this going 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.520 to bring me cortisol? Is this going to really dopemine? 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:12.279 So I just had all my blood work done the 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:15.040 other day because things have felt kind of out of balance, 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.680 and it turns out that I am completely and utterly 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:22.839 negative DHA, which you might know, I don't know, balances 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:26.279 your adrenal system. So basically all I am doing is 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:30.000 pumping cortisol around my body. But my understanding is if 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:33.799 you don't have any DHA, which I think balances and calms, 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:35.920 that you're only going to be in fight or flight 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.159 panic mode, which is essentially, when something tricky happens, I 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:42.039 pull in every other tricky, awful thing and it turns 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:45.520 into a kind of panic sandwich, and it was really 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:48.320 interesting to go, Look, that might be part of my 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.719 mental makeup, but there is also a full blown chemical 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:57.800 reason behind that. And I love the notion of like encouraging. 0:05:58.040 --> 0:05:59.680 Is this going to make me feel good or is 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:01.359 this going to make me feel stressed? 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:04.200 Yeah. I had a blood test result come back yesterday 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.680 that showed that I still have low DHA, but I 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.680 didn't know what it was, and I thought to myself, God, 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.960 I'm not even aware of when my adrenals are activated 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.520 because I've been activated since I was born. Probably you know, 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.640 I've been so stressed for so long that I don't 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:21.440 really remember what peace feels like. So now when I 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.720 get kind of snapshots of it like I did. 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:25.640 Well, you've got a literal picture of that now. 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.680 Yeah, I'm getting it framed so we can remind me 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:31.200 to always seek out that moment. 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:33.919 H I think it's a brilliant thing, just generally, to 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:37.760 be able to identify what increases a dopamine response and 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.480 what increases stress. It's not always possible to cut out 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:43.640 the stuff that is stressful, but I do think you 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:45.919 can focus on the stuff that is good and heads 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:49.000 towards that consciously or like on your weekend when you're 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:49.760 not in an office. 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:51.080 Well, you know, I've been having like a sort of 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:54.960 existential not breakdown, but break through, I would say in 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:56.919 the last year, we spoke about it on the phone, 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:58.400 you and I, where I was telling you that I've 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:00.760 like suddenly had this huge like what the fuck am 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:04.560 I doing? Why am I living somewhere so expensive? Why 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:08.000 am I working too hard and spending less time with 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.920 my dogs and my boyfriend and my friends. That moment 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:14.760 epitomized like me feeling like, Oh, I've fucking smashed it 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.800 in life, more than any award I've ever won, more 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:20.240 than any accolade I've ever had, more than any set 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:23.360 I've ever been on. That moment was just my like 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.200 this is my academy award, Like this is what I've 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:29.720 been striving towards, and now I'm like furiously chasing that 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.320 feeling where I'm so lucky to do the job that 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:35.440 I do. But the amount that people work and feel 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:37.720 encouraged to work, and the way that we have bastardized 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:41.160 the idea of discipline, but only discipline towards one thing, 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:44.640 and not discipline towards happiness and mental health and physical health. 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.520 I think it's just fucked. And so I've decided to 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.240 take that into my own hands and now seek pleasure 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:53.880 not as an indulgence but as a necessity. 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.800 Hmm oh, I like that. I'm going to needle point 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:57.559 that on a pillow. 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.440 Well, especially as women, we're taught that everything is like, 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.480 you're lucky. If you enjoy it, you're lucky. If you 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.920 have a good time, you're lucky. If you come during sex, 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:08.800 it's like, oh, what a king, what a god? I 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.480 got to also have an orgasm, Like, it's amazing. The 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:16.600 way that it has been like somehow rebranded as an indulgence, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:20.160 as an extra, as an if you're lucky, that's ridiculous. 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:22.720 We're sort of shamed out of the pursuit of any 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:25.960 kind of pleasure. And so that's why I've decided to 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.040 completely shift my adventure. 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:44.800 What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.240 Oh God, what a great question as a pathetic answer 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:49.520 to say, my dog, isn't it? 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:53.559 No, it's not pathetic. It is not. Your answers are 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:56.880 not pathetic. They are your answers. And this is a 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:58.520 judgment free zone. 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:02.880 Because the reason I say this is because my firstborn dog, 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:07.840 Baryld and I have a spiritual connection. I don't care 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.559 what anyone says. We have known each other in other lives. 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:13.600 He just gets me. I get him. We have these 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:16.640 long staring sessions between the two of us, and dogs 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:18.720 don't really like to make eye contact with people, but 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.600 he just wants to stare in my eyes. And I believe, 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.800 which shows that I'm clearly still crazy that we are 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:28.559 telepathically communicating, like I really and this is the sort 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.319 of thing that will be like clipped and then that'll 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:33.880 be a headline as if I'm completely serious. Obviously, my 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:38.080 boyfriend that is a meaningful and extraordinary love. But this 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:42.760 dog and human relationship is just completely ridiculous. I can't 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:44.880 explain it. I think it's the fact that something can 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.400 be a different species to me and I don't get 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:50.319 anything back from him. Right He shits and I pick 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:53.079 it up, and all the laborer is coming from my end. 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:53.800 You know. 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:57.240 We talk about their unconditional love for us, and I'm like, Okay, well, 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.720 I'm the one putting in all of the work here 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.000 and doing all of the feeding and paying the rent 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.120 and doing everything. But oh God, the way that I 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:08.000 could love something that is a different species for me 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:10.679 has really shocked me because I was not an animal 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:13.560 person until I had him. Oh, writ at all, not 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.320 at all, not interested, didn't give a shit. 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.640 So it was just him, just him specifically, and how 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:20.640 did you find him? 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.280 He was gifted to me during the pandemic by someone 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:26.760 who knew of this doggie who needed a home, and 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:28.160 so he was given to me. 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.559 But why do they think of you the legendary animal 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:32.679 dislike her? 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.800 I wasn't an animal dislike her. I was just indifferent. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.600 But I think that I so many questions because I'd 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.679 had a nervous breakdown. All right, Minnie, I had. 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:44.440 A nice break and they wanted to make you feel 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:46.720 w They were like a dog. Let's see if this 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.000 will help, Jamina, Let's see. 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.920 And also to be like perfectly candid. My boyfriend also 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.240 was thinking that maybe we should have children together, which 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.319 I don't know why you would ever think that after 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.000 spending time with me, but he did. And I was 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:02.040 very against the idea of having children, and I think 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.760 he wanted to see if it would bring out something 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.760 maternal in me, so I think that was also part 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.200 of the agenda. But then having a dog was so 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:15.760 hard that he didn't want children anymore after having a dog. 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:19.960 Oh my god. So it actually worked out for everybody. 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.560 I win everything. I am God's favorite. It all worked 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:25.280 out in my favorite, and I got this extraordinary puppy 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:26.720 that I completely fell in love with. 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:28.559 So it was a puppy when you got it. That's 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:29.920 why it was so hard, because it is a bit 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:30.840 like having a newborn. 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:33.480 Yeah, it really is. But my relationship with my dog 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:38.960 is the most unexpected, strange and brilliant love. And I 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:42.400 really struggle with being perceived. I don't like to be perceived, 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.400 which is so ridiculous because I've put myself in an 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.720 industry where I'm constantly subjected to perception and it is 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.160 my fault. Just to be clear, I have subjected myself 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.920 to constant scrutiny and perception, and yet I hate it, 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:55.400 and I don't want to be looked at and I 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.319 don't want to be observed. And what I feel about 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.840 the dog is that he's just never they're judging, because 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:03.200 he's not. He doesn't care what I look like. He 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:04.880 doesn't know what I'm supposed to look like. I'm not 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:06.600 supposed to look like. He doesn't care and I think, 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.840 or if I'm clumsy, or if I'm tired and boring, 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.280 there's still a feeling in any romantic relationship or friendship 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.160 of expectation that I don't feel with the dog. And 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.040 it doesn't mean that I don't show up for him, 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:20.600 but it just means that the markers are very different. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:22.040 You know, I still have to be some sort of 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.520 sexy and some sort of attractive in front of my partner. 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:26.400 I don't have to do that in front of a dog. 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:29.320 Listen, you don't have to convince me that it is 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:32.120 one of the greatest loves of all with the dog. 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.199 Yeah, it could never be a fictional one, because I 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.760 don't feel like I've yet found a fictional representation of 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:38.560 what I consider to be a love that I relate 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:41.240 to HM. You know, like my idea of love is 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.960 so the opposite of what Hollywood's sold to us as 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.960 romance and love, you know, and I think it really 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:50.120 fucked us up and gave us really unhealthy ideals. And 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.439 you know, I thought I wasn't in love with my 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:55.480 boyfriend because I had no adrenaline, you know, I had 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:58.480 no fight or flight, I had no panic. My appetite 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:00.520 was fine, I was sleeping well. And then I heard 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.480 this Nat King Cole song that I then played to 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.240 him because he felt the same way. We just kept 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.120 on being like, are we just friends who are shagging? 0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:09.000 We couldn't understand what this bond was or why we 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:10.880 didn't want to leave each other side, but we also 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.439 didn't feel ostensibly quote unquote in love with each other. 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:16.760 And then I played in this song by Nat King 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.360 Cole called This Can't Be Love, in which he sings 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:23.320 about this exact phenomena of like, well, this can't be 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:26.200 love because I feel too well, I'm eating I'm sleeping great. 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:28.240 I mean, I clearly like you. I love to be 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.240 where you are, but like, I'm not in love with 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.800 you because it's ridiculous. I don't feel panicked all the time. 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.559 And that song was whistleblowing that we are being fed 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:40.160 romantic bullshit and that actually real love. And I'm more 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:43.000 in love with James now than I was nine years ago. 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.880 And I would have missed out on that fucking relationship 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.319 because I was trained to think that the person who 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.080 gives me anxiety. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.160 It's the one who you actually love. 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.720 That my body is telling me to fucking run away 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:57.319 from I'm going, oh wow, this is the one. 0:13:58.200 --> 0:13:58.959 Ah, this is it? 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:00.920 Yeah, this is it A ruined me. 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.760 Yeah, this is exactly what I meant. Yeah. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.320 So I don't believe on the bad boy. I believe 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:08.280 in the nice person and I want to be with 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:09.760 someone who makes me feel calm. 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:12.640 I couldn't agree with you more. I have found exactly 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:15.319 the same person in that dynamic cotonit and it was 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:17.800 a little bit later, but it's fucking boring to watch. 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:19.600 So that's why no one would ever want to watch 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.720 this love story about me and James who just had 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:23.920 a really lovely, safe time forever. 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.520 Yeah, I want to ask you really quickly, just going 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:28.200 back to your dog? Oh yeah, not that I don't 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.280 love James, but I want to get back to your dog. 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.680 Have you ever thought of getting those communication paths where 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:36.560 you know, they hit a thing like mum walk now, bitch. 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:41.160 No, only because I worry it would break this idea 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.600 I have that he loves me too, because what if 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:49.080 he's just like cunt cunt, cunt cunt, you look ugly today? 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:50.600 And then I realized he is judging me. 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.880 Don't you understand? You create the communication had yourself, and 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.800 it just says bliss love. 0:14:56.040 --> 0:15:00.640 Now that's too much. No, that's too that's too control. No, 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.000 I can't monitor what he's saying. I would love to. 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.160 I always think it would be really funny. Also, my 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.560 dog wouldn't learn. I was told by a trainer that 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:09.560 he has a low desire to please, and I was like, 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.320 that's my baby. He got that from me. 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.800 By the way, I have a similar dog. He's an 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:18.360 absolute ass. I love him pieces he actually has very 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.880 few dog like qualities. Yeah, I can't wait to meet that. 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:22.800 And my other dog is amazing as well. But I'm 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.040 just saying I've known baroled for much longer. 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.120 Barreled barrel like Harold. 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:30.000 But I have a friend who's English and so posh 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.120 that she thought what I wanted to call him Barry 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:34.560 because that's my favorite name. She was like, oh Barry 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:35.800 is that short for barreled? 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:46.640 Well it is. Now what question would you most like? Answered? Oh? 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:47.160 Fuck me? 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:52.840 Does anyone enjoy reverse cowgirl? 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:00.880 You know what, I'm going to get a lot of 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:03.720 very interesting letters. 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.240 Now because I know the people I think who are 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:08.280 receiving it do, but I mean enjoy doing it? Does 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:13.320 anyone enjoy doing reverth cowgirl. Maybe there are other questions 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:13.880 in life. 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:16.680 There are other questions. I mean, I'll take that as 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:17.680 a very practical one. 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:19.840 And I'm sure what kind of other questions have you had? 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:26.920 You know, what happens when you die? Oh? Yeah, are 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:28.000 they aliens? 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:29.880 We can do this again? No, no, we can do 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:33.560 this again. I hadn't pre read any questions. I'm sorry, no, no, no, no. 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.920 Do you mean you don't understand? That is a great, 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:41.160 great answer. And the silence afterwards is only because I've 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:45.400 basically been bludgeoned with the regular answers. And that really 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:47.640 is a very good question. And I look forward to 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:51.320 people saying yes, I enjoy it. But then why we 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:52.720 need a why? I don't want to know. 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:53.360 Just yes or no. 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.040 Maybe because they have a really nice bottom and they 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:00.680 love it being looked at. 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:05.320 Okay, well that's not me, you know. And I also 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.280 really hate exercise. I hate bouncing up and down. I 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.720 hate moving. And then also like the looking back are 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.280 you supposed to do it as well? 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.159 It sort of hurts you, particularly after the age of fifty, 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.440 like looking back over your shoulders like ow and bouncing 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:28.879 this is a chiropractic nightmare. What is the quality you 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:30.040 like least about yourself. 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:35.120 Oh, the quality I like least about myself. I'm quite 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:38.880 rude and I'm working on it. Okay, I don't mean 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:44.640 to hurt people's feelings, but I'm incredibly candid and I 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:50.360 see in negatives. So when I listen to something, when 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:53.320 I look at something, when I hear something, I can 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:59.280 only first identify what's wrong. So I have such a 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:03.600 critical brain, but not really in a judgmental way, justin 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:05.960 that's all I can see. I noticed these problems and 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.440 they need to be addressed, and then I can relax 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:11.400 and enjoy the rest of the art. And my boyfriend 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:14.399 has been teaching me about the shit sandwich, whereas I 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.320 was doing shit on toast, which is where you say 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:20.880 something not nice first and then you say you at 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:24.000 the end cushing it with something lovely. So I've learned 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.960 to override my instinct and say something, find something nice 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:31.119 to say first, and then deliver my critique. But I 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.080 really need to work on my delivery. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.399 But here's the thing. I think that's really interesting that 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:39.600 you know really clearly that there is this thing that 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:41.159 you want to work on. I think it's good that 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:43.120 you know that I do exactly the same thing I've 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:45.440 had to teach myself. You know, it's funny with directors 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:47.359 when you're really in it and you've done what you 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:49.600 considered to be a good or an interesting or at 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.920 least a good place to start take and they come 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:55.720 in and they go, that was perfect. That was perfect. 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.639 Now you need to do this and this. My brain 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:05.000 has been miswired because being told something is perfect, but 0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:06.879 then being told that we have to carry on and 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:10.200 do it is so not helpful. It's so much better. 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:12.359 For example, if a director comes in and goes, I 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:16.040 really loved the way you made me listen to this 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:19.679 section of that speech. I'd really love to feel the 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:22.080 same way at the end of that the end of 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:24.920 the scene, Like that is so helpful and so brilliant 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:29.280 because it's not unclear. Yeah, I like that. Your boyfriend 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:32.760 has said very clearly, you need to work on your 0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:35.760 shit sandwhich not your shit on toast. Yeah it's a 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:37.720 vile analogy, but also really. 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:41.320 It is graphic, but it has really really helped me. 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:43.960 And everyone said, I've come a really long way in 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:44.840 the last few years. 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:47.720 Everyone everyone says, I'm so much better. 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.320 Yeah, I called an actor turned sort of pundit of 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.159 politician type figure. I said publicly that he looked like 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:58.640 a freshly wanked cock. Oh my god, didn't I did 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:02.240 think I did personal attack. Now, he is not a 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:06.560 nice man. He says horrible, hateful things, right, but I 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:09.840 just lowered myself to his level and then some because 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.160 I delivered what was not It's not not funny. 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:15.199 It's not not funny, and it might also not be 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:21.080 not true. However, that is subjective. Because the wanked cock 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:23.760 is in the eye of the beholder. It's what I've learned. 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.440