1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,920
Speaker 1: You know what I always wanted my whole life. I

2
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,240
Speaker 1: always wanted my voice to sound like yours. I realized

3
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,640
Speaker 1: that when you were talking. I was like, I was

4
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,399
Speaker 1: just like, I've just loved your We always call it

5
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 1: a dirty laugh, which is so awful of the English

6
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,000
Speaker 1: and sexist. My mother she was like, you have to

7
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,239
Speaker 1: appear dis actress laugh. She was like, she's the dirtiest

8
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,320
Speaker 1: laugh I've ever heard, and she introduced me to your laugh.

9
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 2: It is a dirty laugh. My dad and my mother

10
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,000
Speaker 2: both had dirty laughs, so I've got the genetic coding

11
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:34,880
Speaker 2: for filthy laugh rauble dirty. Yeah, Hello, I'm Mini driver.

12
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,839
Speaker 2: I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth

13
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,360
Speaker 2: century parlor game where players would ask each other thirty

14
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:47,040
Speaker 2: five questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature.

15
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,879
Speaker 2: In asking different people the same set of questions, you

16
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,240
Speaker 2: can make observations about which truths appear to be universal.

17
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,240
Speaker 2: And it made me wonder, what if these questions were

18
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,960
Speaker 2: just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be

19
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,080
Speaker 2: revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So

20
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,000
Speaker 2: I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own. Seven

21
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,399
Speaker 2: questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.

22
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,840
Speaker 2: They are when and where were you happiest? What is

23
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,319
Speaker 2: the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real

24
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,080
Speaker 2: or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you

25
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,200
Speaker 2: most like answered? What person, place, or experience has shaped

26
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,960
Speaker 2: you the most? What would be your last meal? And

27
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,560
Speaker 2: can you tell me something in your life that's grown

28
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,039
Speaker 2: out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group

29
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:38,560
Speaker 2: of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and

30
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,319
Speaker 2: humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You

31
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,600
Speaker 2: may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions.

32
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,160
Speaker 2: We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to

33
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,520
Speaker 2: their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most

34
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:57,000
Speaker 2: fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the actor,

35
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 2: activist and podcaster Jimi La Jamil. Jamila started out presenting

36
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,920
Speaker 2: on UK television and radio and then found her way

37
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,120
Speaker 2: onto the brilliant and extremely successful comedy The Good Place.

38
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,880
Speaker 2: During the pandemic, she began a podcast called Iwey with

39
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,240
Speaker 2: Jamila Jamil, which is a conversational female focused podcast exploring

40
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,160
Speaker 2: body positivity racial inclusivity, and much more. The thing I

41
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,280
Speaker 2: love best about Jamila is that she is a voice.

42
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 2: While most celebrities have a certain curated presentation of opinions

43
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:31,120
Speaker 2: in these times of rampant cancelation, Jamila stands by her voice,

44
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,239
Speaker 2: her advocacy of women and the need for changing the

45
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,200
Speaker 2: way women are passed by society. She is unaffectedly, raw, funny,

46
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:46,560
Speaker 2: and herself a rare force of nature in your life?

47
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,840
Speaker 2: Can you tell me where and when you are happiest?

48
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:54,040
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, where and when was I happiest? It was

49
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:59,320
Speaker 1: I think Thanksgiving and a friend photographed this moment, and

50
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,560
Speaker 1: now I've got it for I could send it to you.

51
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,960
Speaker 1: But I was cuddling on the sofa with my boyfriend

52
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:12,280
Speaker 1: of nine years and our two dogs, and everything was

53
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,480
Speaker 1: the most peaceful it's ever been in my life. I

54
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,519
Speaker 1: am the most grown up I have ever been, thank God,

55
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:21,519
Speaker 1: considering I am significantly older, and I had no worries

56
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,560
Speaker 1: or problems in that moment. I was just surrounded by

57
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,480
Speaker 1: everything I love. Everything was soft and loving and wonderful,

58
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,360
Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that that moment is captured. And

59
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 1: I'm laughing hysterically in the photo and I can see

60
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 1: that it's genuine happiness. There's so many smiles I've done

61
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,720
Speaker 1: for photographs on red carpets or at work or even

62
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,000
Speaker 1: at other people's parties, and I can see in my

63
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,880
Speaker 1: eyes that I'm faking it. And I would say, the

64
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,720
Speaker 1: happiest moment in my life has just happened, and hopefully

65
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,120
Speaker 1: it will lead to many more.

66
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,800
Speaker 2: Oh, do you think there's like a pack mentality in

67
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 2: that that snuffle of dogs you?

68
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a scrum. I think it's tribal.

69
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that feeling of like being in something and that

70
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 2: nothing could harm you, nothing could penetrate that, And it's

71
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,240
Speaker 2: I find you can only be purely present with dogs

72
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,520
Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, lovers and it's a different story, but

73
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,360
Speaker 2: dogs they require complete presence.

74
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,880
Speaker 1: It just like my happiness equates, I think genuinely to

75
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,280
Speaker 1: my sort of dopamine and my quarter sole levels, you know,

76
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:28,880
Speaker 1: quarter cell being the kind of stress hormone like dogs, cuddles, affection, laughter,

77
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,000
Speaker 1: These things lower my quarter sole levels and they increase

78
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,840
Speaker 1: my dopamine levels. And that I've started to look at

79
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,640
Speaker 1: myself as a sort of neurochemical computer and now focus

80
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,600
Speaker 1: only in every area of life of is it going

81
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 1: to bring me cortisol? Or is it going to bring

82
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,240
Speaker 1: me dopamine? Because that's how I decide. That's how I make.

83
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,400
Speaker 1: Almost every decision now is not based on how impressive

84
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,600
Speaker 1: it's going to make me, or how thin I'm going

85
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 1: to become, or all the different stupid fucking metrics that

86
00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,440
Speaker 1: we have. I'm deciding everything based on the neural chemicals

87
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,480
Speaker 1: it's going to release in my brain, because they're in

88
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:03,279
Speaker 1: lies happiness.

89
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:08,320
Speaker 2: I absolutely love that the chemical decisions. Is this going

90
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 2: to bring me cortisol? Is this going to really dopemine?

91
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,279
Speaker 2: So I just had all my blood work done the

92
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,040
Speaker 2: other day because things have felt kind of out of balance,

93
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,680
Speaker 2: and it turns out that I am completely and utterly

94
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:22,839
Speaker 2: negative DHA, which you might know, I don't know, balances

95
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,279
Speaker 2: your adrenal system. So basically all I am doing is

96
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,000
Speaker 2: pumping cortisol around my body. But my understanding is if

97
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,799
Speaker 2: you don't have any DHA, which I think balances and calms,

98
00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,920
Speaker 2: that you're only going to be in fight or flight

99
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,159
Speaker 2: panic mode, which is essentially, when something tricky happens, I

100
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,039
Speaker 2: pull in every other tricky, awful thing and it turns

101
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,520
Speaker 2: into a kind of panic sandwich, and it was really

102
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 2: interesting to go, Look, that might be part of my

103
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,719
Speaker 2: mental makeup, but there is also a full blown chemical

104
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:57,800
Speaker 2: reason behind that. And I love the notion of like encouraging.

105
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,680
Speaker 2: Is this going to make me feel good or is

106
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,359
Speaker 2: this going to make me feel stressed?

107
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had a blood test result come back yesterday

108
00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 1: that showed that I still have low DHA, but I

109
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,680
Speaker 1: didn't know what it was, and I thought to myself, God,

110
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,960
Speaker 1: I'm not even aware of when my adrenals are activated

111
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,520
Speaker 1: because I've been activated since I was born. Probably you know,

112
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 1: I've been so stressed for so long that I don't

113
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,440
Speaker 1: really remember what peace feels like. So now when I

114
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,720
Speaker 1: get kind of snapshots of it like I did.

115
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,640
Speaker 2: Well, you've got a literal picture of that now.

116
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm getting it framed so we can remind me

117
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,200
Speaker 1: to always seek out that moment.

118
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,919
Speaker 2: H I think it's a brilliant thing, just generally, to

119
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,760
Speaker 2: be able to identify what increases a dopamine response and

120
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,480
Speaker 2: what increases stress. It's not always possible to cut out

121
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,640
Speaker 2: the stuff that is stressful, but I do think you

122
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,919
Speaker 2: can focus on the stuff that is good and heads

123
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,000
Speaker 2: towards that consciously or like on your weekend when you're

124
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:49,760
Speaker 2: not in an office.

125
00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I've been having like a sort of

126
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,960
Speaker 1: existential not breakdown, but break through, I would say in

127
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,919
Speaker 1: the last year, we spoke about it on the phone,

128
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,400
Speaker 1: you and I, where I was telling you that I've

129
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,760
Speaker 1: like suddenly had this huge like what the fuck am

130
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,560
Speaker 1: I doing? Why am I living somewhere so expensive? Why

131
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,000
Speaker 1: am I working too hard and spending less time with

132
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,920
Speaker 1: my dogs and my boyfriend and my friends. That moment

133
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,760
Speaker 1: epitomized like me feeling like, Oh, I've fucking smashed it

134
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,800
Speaker 1: in life, more than any award I've ever won, more

135
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,240
Speaker 1: than any accolade I've ever had, more than any set

136
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,360
Speaker 1: I've ever been on. That moment was just my like

137
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,200
Speaker 1: this is my academy award, Like this is what I've

138
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,720
Speaker 1: been striving towards, and now I'm like furiously chasing that

139
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,320
Speaker 1: feeling where I'm so lucky to do the job that

140
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,440
Speaker 1: I do. But the amount that people work and feel

141
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,720
Speaker 1: encouraged to work, and the way that we have bastardized

142
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,160
Speaker 1: the idea of discipline, but only discipline towards one thing,

143
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,640
Speaker 1: and not discipline towards happiness and mental health and physical health.

144
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,520
Speaker 1: I think it's just fucked. And so I've decided to

145
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,240
Speaker 1: take that into my own hands and now seek pleasure

146
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,880
Speaker 1: not as an indulgence but as a necessity.

147
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,800
Speaker 2: Hmm oh, I like that. I'm going to needle point

148
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:57,559
Speaker 2: that on a pillow.

149
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,440
Speaker 1: Well, especially as women, we're taught that everything is like,

150
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,480
Speaker 1: you're lucky. If you enjoy it, you're lucky. If you

151
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,920
Speaker 1: have a good time, you're lucky. If you come during sex,

152
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,800
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, what a king, what a god? I

153
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,480
Speaker 1: got to also have an orgasm, Like, it's amazing. The

154
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:16,600
Speaker 1: way that it has been like somehow rebranded as an indulgence,

155
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,160
Speaker 1: as an extra, as an if you're lucky, that's ridiculous.

156
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,720
Speaker 1: We're sort of shamed out of the pursuit of any

157
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,960
Speaker 1: kind of pleasure. And so that's why I've decided to

158
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,040
Speaker 1: completely shift my adventure.

159
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,800
Speaker 2: What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you?

160
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,240
Speaker 1: Oh God, what a great question as a pathetic answer

161
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,520
Speaker 1: to say, my dog, isn't it?

162
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,559
Speaker 2: No, it's not pathetic. It is not. Your answers are

163
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,880
Speaker 2: not pathetic. They are your answers. And this is a

164
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,520
Speaker 2: judgment free zone.

165
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,880
Speaker 1: Because the reason I say this is because my firstborn dog,

166
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,840
Speaker 1: Baryld and I have a spiritual connection. I don't care

167
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,559
Speaker 1: what anyone says. We have known each other in other lives.

168
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,600
Speaker 1: He just gets me. I get him. We have these

169
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,640
Speaker 1: long staring sessions between the two of us, and dogs

170
00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:18,720
Speaker 1: don't really like to make eye contact with people, but

171
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,600
Speaker 1: he just wants to stare in my eyes. And I believe,

172
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,800
Speaker 1: which shows that I'm clearly still crazy that we are

173
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,559
Speaker 1: telepathically communicating, like I really and this is the sort

174
00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,319
Speaker 1: of thing that will be like clipped and then that'll

175
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,880
Speaker 1: be a headline as if I'm completely serious. Obviously, my

176
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:38,080
Speaker 1: boyfriend that is a meaningful and extraordinary love. But this

177
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:42,760
Speaker 1: dog and human relationship is just completely ridiculous. I can't

178
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,880
Speaker 1: explain it. I think it's the fact that something can

179
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,400
Speaker 1: be a different species to me and I don't get

180
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,319
Speaker 1: anything back from him. Right He shits and I pick

181
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,079
Speaker 1: it up, and all the laborer is coming from my end.

182
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:53,800
Speaker 2: You know.

183
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,240
Speaker 1: We talk about their unconditional love for us, and I'm like, Okay, well,

184
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,720
Speaker 1: I'm the one putting in all of the work here

185
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,000
Speaker 1: and doing all of the feeding and paying the rent

186
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,120
Speaker 1: and doing everything. But oh God, the way that I

187
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,000
Speaker 1: could love something that is a different species for me

188
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,679
Speaker 1: has really shocked me because I was not an animal

189
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,560
Speaker 1: person until I had him. Oh, writ at all, not

190
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,320
Speaker 1: at all, not interested, didn't give a shit.

191
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,640
Speaker 2: So it was just him, just him specifically, and how

192
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 2: did you find him?

193
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,280
Speaker 1: He was gifted to me during the pandemic by someone

194
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,760
Speaker 1: who knew of this doggie who needed a home, and

195
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,160
Speaker 1: so he was given to me.

196
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,559
Speaker 2: But why do they think of you the legendary animal

197
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:32,679
Speaker 2: dislike her?

198
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,800
Speaker 1: I wasn't an animal dislike her. I was just indifferent.

199
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,600
Speaker 1: But I think that I so many questions because I'd

200
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,679
Speaker 1: had a nervous breakdown. All right, Minnie, I had.

201
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,440
Speaker 2: A nice break and they wanted to make you feel

202
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,720
Speaker 2: w They were like a dog. Let's see if this

203
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,000
Speaker 2: will help, Jamina, Let's see.

204
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,920
Speaker 1: And also to be like perfectly candid. My boyfriend also

205
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,240
Speaker 1: was thinking that maybe we should have children together, which

206
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,319
Speaker 1: I don't know why you would ever think that after

207
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,000
Speaker 1: spending time with me, but he did. And I was

208
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,040
Speaker 1: very against the idea of having children, and I think

209
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,760
Speaker 1: he wanted to see if it would bring out something

210
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 1: maternal in me, so I think that was also part

211
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,200
Speaker 1: of the agenda. But then having a dog was so

212
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,760
Speaker 1: hard that he didn't want children anymore after having a dog.

213
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god. So it actually worked out for everybody.

214
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,560
Speaker 1: I win everything. I am God's favorite. It all worked

215
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:25,280
Speaker 1: out in my favorite, and I got this extraordinary puppy

216
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,720
Speaker 1: that I completely fell in love with.

217
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,559
Speaker 2: So it was a puppy when you got it. That's

218
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:29,920
Speaker 2: why it was so hard, because it is a bit

219
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,840
Speaker 2: like having a newborn.

220
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. But my relationship with my dog

221
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:38,960
Speaker 1: is the most unexpected, strange and brilliant love. And I

222
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,400
Speaker 1: really struggle with being perceived. I don't like to be perceived,

223
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,400
Speaker 1: which is so ridiculous because I've put myself in an

224
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,720
Speaker 1: industry where I'm constantly subjected to perception and it is

225
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,160
Speaker 1: my fault. Just to be clear, I have subjected myself

226
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,920
Speaker 1: to constant scrutiny and perception, and yet I hate it,

227
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,400
Speaker 1: and I don't want to be looked at and I

228
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,319
Speaker 1: don't want to be observed. And what I feel about

229
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,840
Speaker 1: the dog is that he's just never they're judging, because

230
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,200
Speaker 1: he's not. He doesn't care what I look like. He

231
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,880
Speaker 1: doesn't know what I'm supposed to look like. I'm not

232
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,600
Speaker 1: supposed to look like. He doesn't care and I think,

233
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,840
Speaker 1: or if I'm clumsy, or if I'm tired and boring,

234
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,280
Speaker 1: there's still a feeling in any romantic relationship or friendship

235
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,160
Speaker 1: of expectation that I don't feel with the dog. And

236
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that I don't show up for him,

237
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,600
Speaker 1: but it just means that the markers are very different.

238
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,040
Speaker 1: You know, I still have to be some sort of

239
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,520
Speaker 1: sexy and some sort of attractive in front of my partner.

240
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,400
Speaker 1: I don't have to do that in front of a dog.

241
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,320
Speaker 2: Listen, you don't have to convince me that it is

242
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,120
Speaker 2: one of the greatest loves of all with the dog.

243
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, it could never be a fictional one, because I

244
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,760
Speaker 1: don't feel like I've yet found a fictional representation of

245
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,560
Speaker 1: what I consider to be a love that I relate

246
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,240
Speaker 1: to HM. You know, like my idea of love is

247
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,960
Speaker 1: so the opposite of what Hollywood's sold to us as

248
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,960
Speaker 1: romance and love, you know, and I think it really

249
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,120
Speaker 1: fucked us up and gave us really unhealthy ideals. And

250
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,439
Speaker 1: you know, I thought I wasn't in love with my

251
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,480
Speaker 1: boyfriend because I had no adrenaline, you know, I had

252
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,480
Speaker 1: no fight or flight, I had no panic. My appetite

253
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:00,520
Speaker 1: was fine, I was sleeping well. And then I heard

254
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,480
Speaker 1: this Nat King Cole song that I then played to

255
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,240
Speaker 1: him because he felt the same way. We just kept

256
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,120
Speaker 1: on being like, are we just friends who are shagging?

257
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,000
Speaker 1: We couldn't understand what this bond was or why we

258
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,880
Speaker 1: didn't want to leave each other side, but we also

259
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,439
Speaker 1: didn't feel ostensibly quote unquote in love with each other.

260
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,760
Speaker 1: And then I played in this song by Nat King

261
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,360
Speaker 1: Cole called This Can't Be Love, in which he sings

262
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,320
Speaker 1: about this exact phenomena of like, well, this can't be

263
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,200
Speaker 1: love because I feel too well, I'm eating I'm sleeping great.

264
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I clearly like you. I love to be

265
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,240
Speaker 1: where you are, but like, I'm not in love with

266
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,800
Speaker 1: you because it's ridiculous. I don't feel panicked all the time.

267
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,559
Speaker 1: And that song was whistleblowing that we are being fed

268
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,160
Speaker 1: romantic bullshit and that actually real love. And I'm more

269
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,000
Speaker 1: in love with James now than I was nine years ago.

270
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,880
Speaker 1: And I would have missed out on that fucking relationship

271
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,319
Speaker 1: because I was trained to think that the person who

272
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,080
Speaker 1: gives me anxiety.

273
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,160
Speaker 2: It's the one who you actually love.

274
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,720
Speaker 1: That my body is telling me to fucking run away

275
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,319
Speaker 1: from I'm going, oh wow, this is the one.

276
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:58,959
Speaker 2: Ah, this is it?

277
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is it A ruined me.

278
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is exactly what I meant. Yeah.

279
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,320
Speaker 1: So I don't believe on the bad boy. I believe

280
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,280
Speaker 1: in the nice person and I want to be with

281
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,760
Speaker 1: someone who makes me feel calm.

282
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,640
Speaker 2: I couldn't agree with you more. I have found exactly

283
00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,319
Speaker 2: the same person in that dynamic cotonit and it was

284
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,800
Speaker 2: a little bit later, but it's fucking boring to watch.

285
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 1: So that's why no one would ever want to watch

286
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,720
Speaker 1: this love story about me and James who just had

287
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,920
Speaker 1: a really lovely, safe time forever.

288
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to ask you really quickly, just going

289
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,200
Speaker 2: back to your dog? Oh yeah, not that I don't

290
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,280
Speaker 2: love James, but I want to get back to your dog.

291
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,680
Speaker 2: Have you ever thought of getting those communication paths where

292
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 2: you know, they hit a thing like mum walk now, bitch.

293
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: No, only because I worry it would break this idea

294
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 1: I have that he loves me too, because what if

295
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:49,080
Speaker 1: he's just like cunt cunt, cunt cunt, you look ugly today?

296
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,600
Speaker 1: And then I realized he is judging me.

297
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,880
Speaker 2: Don't you understand? You create the communication had yourself, and

298
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 2: it just says bliss love.

299
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 1: Now that's too much. No, that's too that's too control. No,

300
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,000
Speaker 1: I can't monitor what he's saying. I would love to.

301
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 1: I always think it would be really funny. Also, my

302
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,560
Speaker 1: dog wouldn't learn. I was told by a trainer that

303
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 1: he has a low desire to please, and I was like,

304
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,320
Speaker 1: that's my baby. He got that from me.

305
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,800
Speaker 2: By the way, I have a similar dog. He's an

306
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:18,360
Speaker 2: absolute ass. I love him pieces he actually has very

307
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,880
Speaker 2: few dog like qualities. Yeah, I can't wait to meet that.

308
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,800
Speaker 1: And my other dog is amazing as well. But I'm

309
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,040
Speaker 1: just saying I've known baroled for much longer.

310
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,120
Speaker 2: Barreled barrel like Harold.

311
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,000
Speaker 1: But I have a friend who's English and so posh

312
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 1: that she thought what I wanted to call him Barry

313
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 1: because that's my favorite name. She was like, oh Barry

314
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,800
Speaker 1: is that short for barreled?

315
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:46,640
Speaker 2: Well it is. Now what question would you most like? Answered? Oh?

316
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,160
Speaker 2: Fuck me?

317
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,840
Speaker 1: Does anyone enjoy reverse cowgirl?

318
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,880
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm going to get a lot of

319
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 2: very interesting letters.

320
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 1: Now because I know the people I think who are

321
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 1: receiving it do, but I mean enjoy doing it? Does

322
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 1: anyone enjoy doing reverth cowgirl. Maybe there are other questions

323
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 1: in life.

324
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 2: There are other questions. I mean, I'll take that as

325
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,680
Speaker 2: a very practical one.

326
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,840
Speaker 1: And I'm sure what kind of other questions have you had?

327
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:26,920
Speaker 2: You know, what happens when you die? Oh? Yeah, are

328
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,000
Speaker 2: they aliens?

329
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,880
Speaker 1: We can do this again? No, no, we can do

330
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,560
Speaker 1: this again. I hadn't pre read any questions. I'm sorry, no, no, no, no.

331
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,920
Speaker 2: Do you mean you don't understand? That is a great,

332
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 2: great answer. And the silence afterwards is only because I've

333
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,400
Speaker 2: basically been bludgeoned with the regular answers. And that really

334
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,640
Speaker 2: is a very good question. And I look forward to

335
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 2: people saying yes, I enjoy it. But then why we

336
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 2: need a why? I don't want to know.

337
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 1: Just yes or no.

338
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 2: Maybe because they have a really nice bottom and they

339
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,680
Speaker 2: love it being looked at.

340
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's not me, you know. And I also

341
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 1: really hate exercise. I hate bouncing up and down. I

342
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 1: hate moving. And then also like the looking back are

343
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 1: you supposed to do it as well?

344
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 2: It sort of hurts you, particularly after the age of fifty,

345
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 2: like looking back over your shoulders like ow and bouncing

346
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:28,879
Speaker 2: this is a chiropractic nightmare. What is the quality you

347
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 2: like least about yourself.

348
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:35,120
Speaker 1: Oh, the quality I like least about myself. I'm quite

349
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,880
Speaker 1: rude and I'm working on it. Okay, I don't mean

350
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:44,640
Speaker 1: to hurt people's feelings, but I'm incredibly candid and I

351
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:50,360
Speaker 1: see in negatives. So when I listen to something, when

352
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 1: I look at something, when I hear something, I can

353
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 1: only first identify what's wrong. So I have such a

354
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 1: critical brain, but not really in a judgmental way, justin

355
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 1: that's all I can see. I noticed these problems and

356
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 1: they need to be addressed, and then I can relax

357
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,400
Speaker 1: and enjoy the rest of the art. And my boyfriend

358
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: has been teaching me about the shit sandwich, whereas I

359
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 1: was doing shit on toast, which is where you say

360
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,880
Speaker 1: something not nice first and then you say you at

361
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 1: the end cushing it with something lovely. So I've learned

362
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 1: to override my instinct and say something, find something nice

363
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,119
Speaker 1: to say first, and then deliver my critique. But I

364
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,080
Speaker 1: really need to work on my delivery.

365
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. I think that's really interesting that

366
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:39,600
Speaker 2: you know really clearly that there is this thing that

367
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,159
Speaker 2: you want to work on. I think it's good that

368
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,120
Speaker 2: you know that I do exactly the same thing I've

369
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 2: had to teach myself. You know, it's funny with directors

370
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,359
Speaker 2: when you're really in it and you've done what you

371
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 2: considered to be a good or an interesting or at

372
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 2: least a good place to start take and they come

373
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 2: in and they go, that was perfect. That was perfect.

374
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,639
Speaker 2: Now you need to do this and this. My brain

375
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 2: has been miswired because being told something is perfect, but

376
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 2: then being told that we have to carry on and

377
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,200
Speaker 2: do it is so not helpful. It's so much better.

378
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,359
Speaker 2: For example, if a director comes in and goes, I

379
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 2: really loved the way you made me listen to this

380
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 2: section of that speech. I'd really love to feel the

381
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 2: same way at the end of that the end of

382
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 2: the scene, Like that is so helpful and so brilliant

383
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 2: because it's not unclear. Yeah, I like that. Your boyfriend

384
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 2: has said very clearly, you need to work on your

385
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: shit sandwhich not your shit on toast. Yeah it's a

386
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 2: vile analogy, but also really.

387
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 1: It is graphic, but it has really really helped me.

388
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 1: And everyone said, I've come a really long way in

389
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 1: the last few years.

390
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 2: Everyone everyone says, I'm so much better.

391
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I called an actor turned sort of pundit of

392
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 1: politician type figure. I said publicly that he looked like

393
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:58,640
Speaker 1: a freshly wanked cock. Oh my god, didn't I did

394
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 1: think I did personal attack. Now, he is not a

395
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 1: nice man. He says horrible, hateful things, right, but I

396
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 1: just lowered myself to his level and then some because

397
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 1: I delivered what was not It's not not funny.

398
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 3: It's not not funny, and it might also not be

399
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 3: not true. However, that is subjective. Because the wanked cock

400
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 3: is in the eye of the beholder. It's what I've learned.

401
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 3: And that's the clip from this podcast.

402
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,679
Speaker 2: Well that's also now another thing to get needle pointed

403
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 2: on a pillow. Yeah, the wanked cock is in the

404
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: eye of the beholder.

405
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,439
Speaker 1: But either way, why say it like that? It didn't

406
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 1: do me any favors in the long run.

407
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 2: By the way, here's me now immediately giving you advice.

408
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,439
Speaker 2: I want to read that sentence in a book. I

409
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 2: don't want you to be attacked for saying that, but

410
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:54,360
Speaker 2: me reading that in a book makes me laugh so uncontrollably.

411
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 2: And you have such a brilliant turn of phrase. I

412
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 2: do think that perhaps that is the distance that you

413
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 2: are going to require. Is that you can put all

414
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 2: those thoughts down, then an editor can go through and go, well,

415
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 2: I'm not tethering that to an actual person, but that's

416
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 2: brilliant observation about a human.

417
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, there you go. I think he was being

418
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: mean about fat people or something, and I wanted to

419
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 1: be like, who are you to criticize the way that

420
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 1: anyone looks? But then I'm still doing it, I'm still participating.

421
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 1: So growing up a little bit late, but I was

422
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,959
Speaker 1: to be fair crazy, So I think that that is

423
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: a slight get out of jail free cut as not.

424
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: But I really was crazy for a really long time.

425
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: And because I was famous, nobody told me. And so

426
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 1: I was a little bit late to the development game.

427
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,439
Speaker 1: And I'm getting there and I think I'm making up

428
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 1: good time. Well here we are, but I'm trying to

429
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,959
Speaker 1: get to a better place before I turn forty.

430
00:21:46,200 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 2: Great, you've got a year in your life. What person, place,

431
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 2: or experience most altered your life?

432
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 1: Oh, person, place, or experience. I've got two good ones.

433
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,440
Speaker 1: Am I only allowed to choose one?

434
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 2: Now you can tell us both and then we'll choose

435
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 2: which one's the first. Okay, there you go.

436
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: That feels good.

437
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: All right.

438
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: I was hit by car at seventeen, just before I

439
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 1: was seventeen, and I broke my back and it completely

440
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 1: changed my life for the obvious reasons because it interrupted

441
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: my life, but also it meant that I had this

442
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 1: sense of perspective for the rest of my existence that

443
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: has been unshakable. That I do not sweat the small stuff.

444
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: And there's a certain extent to which I allow myself

445
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,400
Speaker 1: to be neurotic, but generally I have a very strong

446
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: and overwhelming idea that essentially everything's going to be okay.

447
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 1: Like my metric is that as long as I can

448
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: peel my own, I've smashed it. And so it's given

449
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: me a very simple metric to meet my whole life

450
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: where I didn't need to impress anyone particularly, I didn't

451
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 1: need to do anything extraordinary. I just wanted to be

452
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: able to pee on my own. And it has led

453
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 1: to being in an industry that can really devastate people

454
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: because of the expectation and given me a fairly level head.

455
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 1: I was hit by one car into another car. Wow,

456
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: you know, it's just like flipping around all over the

457
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 1: road and Hamstead like a pancake. And I survived, which

458
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: is a miracle, and it just reframed the rest of

459
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: my life. It made me very unafraid of failure, and

460
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: it made me feel very obsessive about making them most

461
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: of everything. And so that doesn't make me a great adventurer.

462
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 1: You know, I haven't climbed mountains, et cetera. Obviously, my

463
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: attitude to reverse cowgirl sort of sets us up for

464
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: not a very literally adventurous mentality. But I want to

465
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 1: just fucking soak up people and life and food and experiences.

466
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 1: I think that I owe that to that very early

467
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 1: cluster fuck that really it really went down like a

468
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 1: fucking barrel of shit. But that was fine. I would

469
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 1: not be the woman I am today if it were

470
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 1: not for that time. It was also an extraordinary year

471
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,880
Speaker 1: and I was so happy because I was on morphine,

472
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: which is heroin really, and I was watching television all

473
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: day and it was the golden years of film and TV,

474
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 1: and I was eating ice cream all day, because when

475
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 1: you're completely fucked, everyone just brings you comfort food. So

476
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: it was thrilling. When people go like, oh, I'm so sorry,

477
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 1: I'm always like it was the greatest year of my life.

478
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: So that is my main defining.

479
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 2: One okay, So what would be your last meal?

480
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: My last meal would be chops and chips.

481
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,919
Speaker 2: What kind of chops?

482
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: Poor called lamb lamb chops, lammers, lammers, chops and chips,

483
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 1: but with.

484
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: Light mint sauce and ketch up with the chips.

485
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: No, I hate ketch up. Hate ketchup. I despise it,

486
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: despise a condiment that isn't other than mustard. Mustard has

487
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: managed to seep through. But I don't like anything that's

488
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: a big sauce, So chops and chips. Is there a

489
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,719
Speaker 1: place that you have this or is this something you make?

490
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: Because I don't think I've ever seen lamb chops. I

491
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 1: guess I have seen lamb chops on the menu where

492
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: you could order a side of fries. No, I horrify

493
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 1: every restaurant that has them with my order. I guess

494
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: it's like a Greek restaurant who has chips available for

495
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 1: the Neanderthal English people who come in and don't want

496
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: their delicious lemon potatoes. But I am said Neanderthal, and

497
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: so like, I just fucking love chips. I need to

498
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 1: eat them with everything.

499
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 2: I love chips too.

500
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: I have chips with every meal that I can. They

501
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 1: are a key part of my diet because when I

502
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: had anorexia, I never ate chips, and so now I

503
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 1: am determined to make up for some lost time within

504
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: you know, reason, so that I can make sure I

505
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: give myself those things that I had demonized. But as

506
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: a child, my grandparents used to take me because I

507
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: grew up in Spain, and so we used to go

508
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: up into the mountains and there would be a special

509
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: restaurant that had chops and chips, lamb chops and chips,

510
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: And there's just something about that combination that reminds me

511
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: of a really happy, simple time in my life. It's

512
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 1: a simple meal and it's just delicious and salty. So

513
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 1: that's my favorite. That's my favorite thing.

514
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't even eat me? And that sounds good

515
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 2: to me.

516
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: It's fucking wonderful. I know I should be a vegetarian

517
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 1: or a vegan.

518
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 2: You should not should No, no, no no. I won't have.

519
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: People say I'm a bad feminist because I.

520
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 2: Know we're not here to like you literally just said

521
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 2: this thing that not only delights you in terms of

522
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 2: the food, but the memory of it with your grandparents

523
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 2: and the mountains in Spain, This beautiful image.

524
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: And it wasn't even them they were horrible people.

525
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: It was just they were You know, what I'm learning

526
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 2: about you is that you, more than maybe anyone I've

527
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 2: ever met, you can create the most beautiful image, and

528
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: then it's almost that you can't help but dows it

529
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 2: with the most awful bias.

530
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: You have to talk to James.

531
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 2: You're so incredibly articulate, and you create these images that

532
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: are so beautiful, but then it's almost like you can't

533
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 2: just allow it to be. You have to dowse it

534
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 2: with something painful.

535
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: It's with the truth. It was just a happy time

536
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: in my life, right, It was a happy time in

537
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 1: my life. I loved living in Spain. It was a

538
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: simple existence. It was sunshine and sandy beaches, and I

539
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: didn't know anything about politics or you know, sexual violence,

540
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 1: or I had no self consciousness. I thought having a

541
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 1: big belly was the most extraordinary thing on earth, Like

542
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: I would push it out as much as possible. Like

543
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: it was just such a pure time. And that taste

544
00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: immediately takes me back to that pure mindset of I

545
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: have no problems, and life is beach.

546
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: It's pristian, it's lovely.

547
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, life is Beach.

548
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 2: Life is chop.

549
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, Life is Beach and Chops and Chips.

550
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me. Mini Driver

551
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 2: Executive produced by Me and Aaron Kaufman, with production support

552
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Denkler and Ali Perry. The theme

553
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 2: music is also by Me and additional music by Aaron Kaufman.

554
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 2: Special thanks to Jim Nicolay Addison, O'Day, Henry Driver, Lisa Castella, A,

555
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 2: Nick Oppenheim, A, Nick Muller and Annette wolf A, w

556
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:44,959
Speaker 2: kp R, Will Pearson, Nicki Etoor, Morgan Levoy and Mangesh

557
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: At Ticketdore