Speaker 1: So excited to tell you guys that this week, if
Speaker 1: you're watching this in real time, we start touring again.
Speaker 1: We got a five day run. We're going to be
Speaker 1: this week on April twenty second, Chy and Wyoming April
Speaker 1: twenty third, and inman Kansas April twenty fourth, and Manhattan,
Speaker 1: Kansas and April twenty fifth and Sioux Fall, South Dakota.
Speaker 1: I hope to see you guys at one or more
Speaker 1: of those shows, and if not, we're going to be
Speaker 1: doing more and more. We're going to be announcing these
Speaker 1: and I'll continue to kind of talk about them on
Speaker 1: this program as they come in because we're just pumped
Speaker 1: to finally get back on the road and see you
Speaker 1: guys again. We're opening up meet and greets again so
Speaker 1: you could find all of that information. Where do you
Speaker 1: get a meet and greet? How do you meet me?
Speaker 1: How do you talk to me? How can you ask
Speaker 1: me a question in person, just like you would ask
Speaker 1: me on this podcast. You go to grangersmith dot com
Speaker 1: and right there at the very front page. As soon
Speaker 1: as you get there, it's gonna say meet granger click
Speaker 1: on that or tour, which I think is on all
Speaker 1: very easy to find and more and more of these
Speaker 1: dates are gonna be start to come out and be announced.
Speaker 1: Just cannot be more excited about it. Super excited about
Speaker 1: this episode too, because I have a friend of mine.
Speaker 1: His name is Brandon Puffer. He is a former major
Speaker 1: league pitcher slash current motivational speaker, and he has just
Speaker 1: an amazing story. You're gonna see what this title is
Speaker 1: all about. As we start talking about it. You could
Speaker 1: see his journey, where he went, how he learned, how
Speaker 1: he got better, and some of his life in the
Speaker 1: major leagues. And then we're gonna answer with Brandon your
Speaker 1: questions with If you have any questions for me, ever,
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll get
Speaker 1: to them with whatever guest I have today is Brandon.
Speaker 1: You're really lucky for those of you that I answered
Speaker 1: questions today, You're lucky because Brandon is he comes from
Speaker 1: a really solid foundation of self help and learning. And
Speaker 1: how often you get your answered, your questions answered by
Speaker 1: a major league picture. So I've got my brain is
Speaker 1: so excited right now that we're touring to so all
Speaker 1: that together. Welcome to the podcast. Episode eighty did in
Speaker 1: dcent months long line. I'm five four humping down the
Speaker 1: back rangey cool. Yeah you. So several years ago I
Speaker 1: was going every morning to anytime fitness the gym and
Speaker 1: there's this dude in there working out. Big dude. For
Speaker 1: those of you that don't have video, you're not watching.
Speaker 1: Brandon's a big dude. He's a big How big are you?
Speaker 1: How tall? And I am six three two seventy okay? Okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah all muscle, all muscle, Yeah no for real?
Speaker 1: Yeah really. So there's this dude in there and he's
Speaker 1: like the the extrovert of the gym, talks to everybody.
Speaker 1: I kind of always have my headphones. And at one point,
Speaker 1: you know, we started talking and you thought I was
Speaker 1: a fireman. I think first that's what you asked. You said, Oh,
Speaker 1: were you a fireman? Yeah? I did. I didn't have
Speaker 1: that fireman looking at man. So every morning we became
Speaker 1: closer and closer, and then it took a step where
Speaker 1: we were friends outside of just the gym. We became
Speaker 1: text buddies. We talked a lot, and you're just one
Speaker 1: of these guys man that that, and it's the kind
Speaker 1: of guy I like to bring on this podcast because
Speaker 1: you have a well thought out, well grounded answer to
Speaker 1: life's problems. And you could if I say, man, buffer,
Speaker 1: I got man, I got something I'm kind of dealing with,
Speaker 1: you could sit down with empathy, listen and give a
Speaker 1: very good, mature manhood type answer. And I love that,
Speaker 1: and I love that we have people on this podcast
Speaker 1: that listen that that have these endless questions that they
Speaker 1: email me, and I love to be able to discuss
Speaker 1: them as if we're sitting around a campfire and just
Speaker 1: it's like it's me and you and then someone else
Speaker 1: and they go, Man, can I ask you guys a question?
Speaker 1: Something you know in this relationship I'm in, or this
Speaker 1: job I'm in right now, or something with my mom,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever it might be, and we can go, man,
Speaker 1: let me think about it, without notes, without preparation, we
Speaker 1: can dive into it. So I want to do that
Speaker 1: with you today with some questions that I found, and
Speaker 1: if anyone has a question, you could email Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Could be about anything, could be
Speaker 1: music related, could be fun, could be deep, could be dark,
Speaker 1: could whatever it might be. We're not afraid to get
Speaker 1: into it. But before we do that, something you were
Speaker 1: telling me in the gym when I first met you,
Speaker 1: some time would go by and you'd say, one of
Speaker 1: these days, I want to tell you my story. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you my story. And we never officially did that,
Speaker 1: wow in person. Did at some point I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, late at night, I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like Wikipedia, yeah, right, just to find out if I
Speaker 1: could see what your story was. Not that Wikipedia is
Speaker 1: a good reference for anything, but I was blown away
Speaker 1: pitcher in the major leagues, which the way I look
Speaker 1: at it in music terms, to get a record deal,
Speaker 1: have a number one song, those are those are kind
Speaker 1: of the ways we we will raid each other in
Speaker 1: a lot of ways meaning that and it's not it's
Speaker 1: not always talent that does that. It's it's a lot
Speaker 1: of blessings that do that. But in sports. To play baseball,
Speaker 1: a lot of people play baseball to be a picture,
Speaker 1: a smaller group do that. To do it at a
Speaker 1: high level, it's smaller group. To go into the minor leagues,
Speaker 1: a tiny, tiny group. To go into the majors, tiny
Speaker 1: of the tiny, and then to actually start and have
Speaker 1: a successful career, it's it's a unicorn, right, It's almost impossible.
Speaker 1: And that's you. That's you. Sitting next to a major
Speaker 1: league successful major league pitcher. But you have a story,
Speaker 1: and there's a little bit of that on the Wikipedia page.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to before we get into anything else.
Speaker 1: I wanted you if you're comfortable just getting into that
Speaker 1: story a little bit. Yeah, yes, I'm comfortable with that. Gosh.
Speaker 1: The biggest part of my story for me shaping who
Speaker 1: I am now is the rock bottom right right. Adversity
Speaker 1: is where we all kind of find out what we're
Speaker 1: made of, find out what our foundation is. And so, man,
Speaker 1: you're super proud of, you know, making it to the
Speaker 1: big leagues and having a career. And I was just
Speaker 1: talking to Ben out there, say he's a Boston Red
Speaker 1: Sox fan, and I didn't tell him, but I have.
Speaker 1: I won a World Series one of those guys, and
Speaker 1: it's like some of the stuff that happened seems like
Speaker 1: and maybe you can relate to this Granger. It's like
Speaker 1: that's like another person out there, like it doesn't even
Speaker 1: didn't happen to me, you know, and so and I'm
Speaker 1: very proud of it, and my family's proud of it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, my story is basically that I felt like
Speaker 1: growing up, if I had one day in the big leagues.
Speaker 1: I mean, like a lot of kids, I just wanted
Speaker 1: to be a pro baseball player. Man, I did, and
Speaker 1: that my life would be complete. That's kind of the
Speaker 1: way I like to share it with people. And gosh,
Speaker 1: I now look at it as kind of like a
Speaker 1: god shaped hole within me that I was trying to
Speaker 1: fill with so much stuff. And I thought, man, one
Speaker 1: day in the big leagues, that's it, that's what I'm
Speaker 1: here for. I'm complete. And I just found out that
Speaker 1: wasn't the case. And I had a lot of demons
Speaker 1: I was fighting off the field. So what point did
Speaker 1: you realize that so you made it to the bit? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: yes it was. It was it when you got called up.
Speaker 1: Did you get called up right or did you go
Speaker 1: straight in? I did. I got drafted out of high school,
Speaker 1: went to the minor leagues, and when I got drafted,
Speaker 1: I thought, hey, kind of it's just it and I
Speaker 1: was like, no, this isn't it. Well, I'll just keep
Speaker 1: working and go to the big leagues, okay, And then
Speaker 1: I did. In April of two thousand and two, I
Speaker 1: was playing Triple A ball in New Orleans for the
Speaker 1: Astros and got called out to the big LEA was
Speaker 1: that Like, was it a phone call? No, manager called
Speaker 1: me in the office after the game. It's one of
Speaker 1: those and you managing, you see an office type deal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's either we're firing you, right, or it's good.
Speaker 1: So this one was good, and uh it was. It was, Hey,
Speaker 1: you're joining the big club in Cincinnati tomorrow. It took
Speaker 1: me a while. I was I think twenty six at
Speaker 1: the time. I spent some significant time in the minor leagues,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I mean it was. It was very cool.
Speaker 1: And you go out and call your family and hey,
Speaker 1: the dream you boys, you know what. It absolutely was
Speaker 1: an awesome feeling. But then I showed up Cincinnati the
Speaker 1: next day. The next day, Oh yeah, immediately, that's how
Speaker 1: baseball works. It's where were you living? Where was the
Speaker 1: minor league team New Orleans? So you got on a
Speaker 1: plane on a plane tonati, You've packed what you had
Speaker 1: that night after the game. Yeah, yeah, it's that way.
Speaker 1: I don't think people realize that it's that way. If
Speaker 1: it's a good call, that's an easy call. Like, man,
Speaker 1: I'm walking on cloud I'm a cloud nine. I'm packing,
Speaker 1: getting what I need and going. But it's that way
Speaker 1: if you're traded, or it's that way if you're released.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, you're gone, like right there. So at
Speaker 1: this point you probably played baseball for twenty years. Yes,
Speaker 1: I had, I had, yes, and I had actually spent
Speaker 1: I think it was seven or eight years in the
Speaker 1: minor leagues before that call up. So not that everybody
Speaker 1: doesn't appreciate their call up, but man, it was after
Speaker 1: spending a lot of time building to it and being
Speaker 1: released by a few teams and having some adversity, it
Speaker 1: was a great It was a great feeling. I mean
Speaker 1: no doubt about it. Showed up in Cincinnati and you
Speaker 1: got the Bagwells and Vigeos and Berkman's and the big dogs,
Speaker 1: you know, and my jersey's next to them. Was like wow, incredible.
Speaker 1: So a lot of great memories. But I think pretty
Speaker 1: immediately well it kind of just floated around for a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks and then started realizing, you know, just
Speaker 1: what's next. You know, oh, maybe it's got to get
Speaker 1: a big contractor I gotta And again you probably relate
Speaker 1: to this, but it wasn't instant fulfilled. It it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It wasn't well, it was immediately, and then it dissipated
Speaker 1: pretty fast. Sure, I get it. Now, I gotta stay now.
Speaker 1: I gotta stay now. I gotta perform now. You have
Speaker 1: to succeed right exactly, Yeah, exactly and so And I
Speaker 1: think part of it too is being a huge baseball
Speaker 1: fan as a kid. I mean, I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 1: There's ballplayers you go home, they don't want to watch
Speaker 1: a game. Come on, man, we're gonna watch it. We
Speaker 1: just did this all day. You know, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do this. And I'm just a big fan. So
Speaker 1: I got a little starstruckted by a lot of the
Speaker 1: guys around me, guys who are now in the batter's
Speaker 1: box type deal. What year was this? Two thousand and two? Okay,
Speaker 1: two thousand and two. So I see, I grew up
Speaker 1: for some reason. I don't know. I'm grew up in Dallas,
Speaker 1: But I had Eric Davis posters on the wall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the eighties but I don't remember why. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I just love the Reds. I loved him too, man
Speaker 1: number forty four, Yeah, held his hands real low when
Speaker 1: he hit. Yeah. Eric Dave was a stud. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: that I don't think he was there, But like Barry
Speaker 1: Larkin was a big staple for Cincinnati at the time,
Speaker 1: and that kind of stuff. So it was neat, but gosh,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it's hard bouncing around in my story.
Speaker 1: But what it was common theme beginning in high school
Speaker 1: for me was knowing what I wanted to do, but
Speaker 1: then really fighting the demons of you know, alcohol and
Speaker 1: women and being a tough guy. Whatever I thought would
Speaker 1: feel that God shaped hole. That didn't, nor did baseball,
Speaker 1: Norded World Series ring, nor did anything else. And so
Speaker 1: it took kind of like you said, that that rock bottom,
Speaker 1: that adversity, and for me that was a little more
Speaker 1: hardcore than a lot of people. You know, you read
Speaker 1: the Book of Jonah and it's like Joanah was a
Speaker 1: knucklehead and he needed three days and the belly of
Speaker 1: a whale. Not me. I needed three and a half
Speaker 1: years in prison. It was like, not three days, three
Speaker 1: and a half years. Man. I went out with the
Speaker 1: guys I had become. I was sober for five years.
Speaker 1: I went to celebrate recovery, sober for five years. Dad
Speaker 1: was an recovering alcoholic. I just knew it was pretty obvious.
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty aw in or all out guy everything
Speaker 1: I do. Yep, you saw that at the gym, right,
Speaker 1: And so it became pretty obvious. I wasn't the guy
Speaker 1: that could just have a couple of drinks and be okay,
Speaker 1: no judgment to whoever can that's awesome. But I wasn't
Speaker 1: a good social drinker. I was all out frank the
Speaker 1: tank every time. So I had learned that the hard
Speaker 1: way a few times, and so you know, I had
Speaker 1: become a Christian in my life in nineteen ninety eight.
Speaker 1: Grew up with a mom that was just an angel.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's pastoral care leader for Saddleback Church Rick
Speaker 1: Warren in California, and had just on a die. I
Speaker 1: thought about what you said about being a guy who
Speaker 1: can listen with empathy, and I was thinking in my
Speaker 1: head when you're saying, like, I don't know why that is,
Speaker 1: and people do tend to open up and listen, but
Speaker 1: I just it's pretty easy. Now I think about my mom.
Speaker 1: That's what she does and has always done, not for
Speaker 1: a living, but just in life. If people are in trouble,
Speaker 1: or if someone passes away or something happens that's really hard,
Speaker 1: they call her in, you know, And so I'm like
Speaker 1: huh okay, well maybe there's some of that there. And so,
Speaker 1: you know, faith was in my life, but my dad
Speaker 1: was not a man of faith at the time. He
Speaker 1: was a tough dude. He was a drinker and a
Speaker 1: fighter and you know everything else that comes along with
Speaker 1: that stereotypical image. And I wanted to be more like him,
Speaker 1: honestly at the time. And so, you know, went through
Speaker 1: and fought a lot of that way as a boy.
Speaker 1: It almost didn't matter what your dad did as a boy.
Speaker 1: You just want to be that because he's a man
Speaker 1: and you' and that's such an important piece of fatherhood.
Speaker 1: Yes that whatever you're gonna do, you're gonna influen. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's your choice. Yes, And to that point, my dad
Speaker 1: went to celebrate recovery, became a morning and Christian and
Speaker 1: I watched the change in his life and that was
Speaker 1: a huge thing for me because again, my mom was awesome.
Speaker 1: I mean, she was faithful all the time. We didn't
Speaker 1: know any better. I mean, that was her. But when
Speaker 1: my dad's life changed as a father, I looked at
Speaker 1: that and for the father's other it's like, oh, there's
Speaker 1: something to this. She's just always been that way and
Speaker 1: he just changed when he gave his life away. What's
Speaker 1: going on? What's different, you know? And so so that
Speaker 1: really did peak peak my interests, and so I did.
Speaker 1: I became a Christian nineteen ninety eight, but I didn't
Speaker 1: have that surrendered lifestyle. Yep, right, it was kind of
Speaker 1: a white knuckle I'm not gonna drink anymore. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do it. Christians are supposed to dissess the faith, but
Speaker 1: you didn't possess it. That's good. Yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. And so I actually ended up having
Speaker 1: a separation from my first wife. I was in spring
Speaker 1: training two thousand and four with the padres, kind of
Speaker 1: my first real adverse situation, like what is my faith
Speaker 1: made of? And it was pretty surface level because the
Speaker 1: enemy took that opportunity to go, hey, man, you're on
Speaker 1: your own. Now, you're a little more mature. Now you
Speaker 1: can handle this drinking thing. You can come on, man,
Speaker 1: And I just kind of fell back into that lifestyle
Speaker 1: and pretty fast once I opened that door right back in,
Speaker 1: and you know, the night life and the going out
Speaker 1: and all that comes with all that that junk that
Speaker 1: we won't glorify. But yeah, so I was on a
Speaker 1: slippery slope from that point. And to your question of
Speaker 1: how did that happen three and a half years in
Speaker 1: the in the belly of not the whale, but but prison,
Speaker 1: which is probably much like it, I went out with
Speaker 1: the guys one night, kind of a I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: kind of make a few justifications here, and it's just
Speaker 1: one night of my life. What's the big deal? Right?
Speaker 1: And I went out and I alreadied and hung out
Speaker 1: with the guys and and ended up just making a
Speaker 1: really bonehead decision. And it was I was in a blackout.
Speaker 1: No excuse, but I just I made a poor choice,
Speaker 1: and and that choice was based on a lot of
Speaker 1: how I was living and thought it would be okay.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sometimes I pg it, sometimes I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you want me to do in here.
Speaker 1: Everyone right now that's listening is thinking, and I don't
Speaker 1: mind that it's wide open. I go speak. But yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I'll just be honest with you. But I was back
Speaker 1: in an apartment complex in Frisco, Texas, where I was
Speaker 1: playing at the time with the Rangers. By this time
Speaker 1: I had been in the big leagues. Uh, for those
Speaker 1: who have seen Bull Durham. The Rangers called me back
Speaker 1: to be that older guy to kind of be there
Speaker 1: for their young prospects in Double A. So I was
Speaker 1: the thirty three year old Double A and man, I
Speaker 1: went and there was a lady that I had met
Speaker 1: that lived in that apartment complex, and I thought it
Speaker 1: would be okay to go knock on her door and
Speaker 1: see if she was having a They used to have
Speaker 1: a lot of parties at that apartment and my buddies
Speaker 1: is three in the morning, They're like, go to bed. No,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Go to bed. I couldn't shut
Speaker 1: it off. It was like it again, I'm all in,
Speaker 1: I'm all in, all in, and so yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna just gonna be real straight up and say I
Speaker 1: the door was unlocked. I walked in and I tried
Speaker 1: to take off my clothes and get in bed with her.
Speaker 1: And man, most people will hear that are like, what
Speaker 1: in the world. Then I've had people hear that and go, oh, man,
Speaker 1: I've put myself in some pretty bad spots. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I got Burly rehabitation because I walked in there without
Speaker 1: being invited and with intense commit sexual assault because well,
Speaker 1: my intentions were not good. You know. It wasn't like
Speaker 1: you go hold someone to it. It's like, we don't
Speaker 1: know what your intentions were. You weren't invited there, you
Speaker 1: weren't supposed to be there. And that was choice I made.
Speaker 1: And so that'll carry that'll walk with me the rest
Speaker 1: of my life, that one decision, and that's how I
Speaker 1: ended up doing three and a half years in prison.
Speaker 1: And where it was. I was kind of all over Texas.
Speaker 1: I was all over Texas. I was up in bottom
Speaker 1: Buster coal unit, at the Bird Unit. I finished at
Speaker 1: the Walls in Huntsville, and just you know, sharing my
Speaker 1: story now, I went and spoke to the baseball team
Speaker 1: in sam Houston a couple of years ago. Matt Degg's
Speaker 1: a good buddy of mine, and he asked me to
Speaker 1: come speak to his team, and I did. And man,
Speaker 1: that that campus where I was talking to that locker
Speaker 1: room was a stone's throw just about from where I
Speaker 1: finished my prison sentence. And just what God does and
Speaker 1: where he puts you and some of the people I
Speaker 1: was able to interact with and talk to, and some
Speaker 1: of the stories, and I'll tell you one of them
Speaker 1: being within those walls, I mean, when I surrendered, it
Speaker 1: was day one, and it wasn't I had a five
Speaker 1: year sentence. I did three and a halven. It wasn't
Speaker 1: a prayer at this point of get me out of this.
Speaker 1: That was the case leading up to the trial. It
Speaker 1: was like, just get me out of this. Yep, come on,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to prison. Get me out
Speaker 1: of this. No. When those bars hit and they sentenced me,
Speaker 1: it was okay, I surrendered. This is where I got myself.
Speaker 1: What do you got for me? I mean, what is it?
Speaker 1: It's almost like prison ministry started day one. So it
Speaker 1: was survival, but it was open your eyes and see
Speaker 1: what's around you. And the one story is gonna share
Speaker 1: with you is there's multiples, but this one stands out
Speaker 1: to me is I had a selly you know, eight
Speaker 1: by ten cell walked in and it's pretty customary. You
Speaker 1: don't ask what people are there for, how long they're there.
Speaker 1: You just kind of mind your business, you know. And
Speaker 1: I walked in and he was on the top bunk,
Speaker 1: and it was summertime. We were talking about hot texta
Speaker 1: summer's already been right, yeap, no ac in these metal
Speaker 1: buildings in prison. I mean it is rough man. And
Speaker 1: so he's sitting up there in his boxers and said, hey,
Speaker 1: how's it going, man, what are you doing? He said, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to give some of his time back
Speaker 1: to the state. So he mentioned it is how you
Speaker 1: got a lot of time? Yeah, three life sentences like,
Speaker 1: well you can you can pretty much guess what had happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: someone's doing three night and now you're an eight by
Speaker 1: ten with this guy. All right, here we go, right,
Speaker 1: So helped my cards pretty close at first, but we
Speaker 1: started talking and opening up and his nickname was Bone,
Speaker 1: and I'm sitting here with Bone talking about how he
Speaker 1: viciously he did he killed three people. And as we
Speaker 1: got through something, all I have was my little pocket
Speaker 1: bible with me. I was in transit. I was that
Speaker 1: a little pocket bible, and I was just just like
Speaker 1: you said, man, I was just listening. I was just
Speaker 1: I'd read and he'd ask a couple of questions, you
Speaker 1: know whatever. And man, I spent about ten days twenty
Speaker 1: three hour lockdown in there with Bone, and he shared
Speaker 1: with me grandeur that the day before I came in
Speaker 1: that cell, he had hung his sheets up because he
Speaker 1: was going to hang himself because he had no hope.
Speaker 1: And he said, man, you came in and gave me
Speaker 1: some hope. And I'm like, God, where could I ever?
Speaker 1: Where would I have that opportunity? Man? And and so
Speaker 1: just having a heart for people I didn't always have.
Speaker 1: I was very selfish and wrapped up in my career
Speaker 1: and getting better, getting the next level. But yeah, that's
Speaker 1: how my rock bottom happened. And and then fortunately I
Speaker 1: wasn't giving up on and I was able to use
Speaker 1: that story for some good. Did you ever hear about
Speaker 1: where Bone is? I've looked him up. I want I
Speaker 1: want to use his real name and looked but he's
Speaker 1: still obviously there. And and you know, a couple I
Speaker 1: guess funny tidbits when we were hanging out, you know,
Speaker 1: he'd say, Bob, I'm not a violent man, you know,
Speaker 1: and like Bone, you got rage tattooed on your stomach
Speaker 1: and the grim Reaper like and that's true. He's like,
Speaker 1: he's like, uh yeah, but so he's still doing, you know,
Speaker 1: doing his time, and he will be for for forever.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was. It's just one example of kind
Speaker 1: of stuff that goes on that right now, you and
Speaker 1: I sit here and we don't even probably think about
Speaker 1: what guys you're going through behind those walls right now.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that was that was at the time. It
Speaker 1: took me a while. It took me a while because
Speaker 1: baseball was everything. I didn't know who I was outside
Speaker 1: of the Bay, no idea, and so I kind of
Speaker 1: really put it to the back of my mind. And
Speaker 1: and some guys would find out that I played, and
Speaker 1: they'd want to talk about a little bit, and that
Speaker 1: was fine. But TV's are a big pro you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of fights, so it wasn't like I was
Speaker 1: going to go in and watch it what you know,
Speaker 1: just I didn't think about it for a while and
Speaker 1: then actually, you know much at all, and I didn't
Speaker 1: follow it and I didn't and then when I was
Speaker 1: getting ready to get out, read Ryan with the round
Speaker 1: Rock Express. Just one of those guys you know, you
Speaker 1: find out who you who your friends are, right, and
Speaker 1: I had several of them so were really good friends.
Speaker 1: And then some you know, you just three and a
Speaker 1: half years, the world just keeps going. Then it just
Speaker 1: passes by, and I can't blame anyone for that. And
Speaker 1: he was very faithful and keeping up with me and
Speaker 1: offered me a job and Round Rock at the Dell
Speaker 1: Diamond as a as a a maintenance guy, maintenance and
Speaker 1: doing air quotes because I can't fix a thing. But
Speaker 1: it was like, man, if I got a paint or
Speaker 1: staining or and this's what I did, and pressure wash
Speaker 1: and I did. And as I got back there and
Speaker 1: was at the stadium and occasionally the guys would be there,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh man, that's when I really was
Speaker 1: like this is in me, like this I missed this,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, God, I don't know what you have,
Speaker 1: but man, baseball. And so I started doing a couple
Speaker 1: of private lessons here and there. They'd pop up, and
Speaker 1: then I actually became kind of a baseball and I
Speaker 1: reach coordinated for them. And then I branched off and
Speaker 1: started a youth in high school program. And baseball is
Speaker 1: twenty four hours again for me, it's just it's just
Speaker 1: every you know. And so it says Round Rock Express,
Speaker 1: what got you to Central Texas? Originally in two thousand
Speaker 1: and one, I played for the Express. Okay, backing up
Speaker 1: two thousand and one, came played in Round Rock, fell
Speaker 1: in love with the area, was living in California. Obviously
Speaker 1: the cost of living the whole deal. I had two
Speaker 1: little boys, and we moved here after that season, and
Speaker 1: so been here ever since, in Central Texas. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that is the express will got me here, and I
Speaker 1: love it. I mean, I couldn't wish what had happened sooner,
Speaker 1: but yeah, two thousand and one I came out here
Speaker 1: and so and yeah, just like I said, you know,
Speaker 1: the Ryan family and just the being a baseball family,
Speaker 1: and just the way I played a lot of minor
Speaker 1: league towns, man, and like you you go to town,
Speaker 1: you go out, hey, nice town. Yeah, I'm not looking
Speaker 1: to live there, but it was different here, and it
Speaker 1: was because of the family atmosphere and the way they
Speaker 1: they treated the team and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: It's pretty neat. I'm sure all of your minor league
Speaker 1: towns are represented on this podcast. Yeah, I'm sure we
Speaker 1: have a lot of fans of all the teams that
Speaker 1: you played for the majors as well. Yeah, so what
Speaker 1: what are some of the teams you mentioned? Cincinnati? You
Speaker 1: mentioned the Rangers Padres that I played for. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: you played for sure. Yeah. The only teams I've made
Speaker 1: it up with were the Astros. Like we said, the
Speaker 1: Red Sox, the Giants and the Padres, gotcha. But man,
Speaker 1: the minor league towns, I mean I couldn't name them all.
Speaker 1: I mean fifteen years of it, just in Clinton, Iowa
Speaker 1: to Boise, Idaho, I mean all over the places. I
Speaker 1: wish I could name them all, because it's really cool
Speaker 1: to just go in and see kind of the different
Speaker 1: just the different things about each minor league town and stadium.
Speaker 1: And it was really neat. I really enjoyed that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did you imprison and how did you satisfy that
Speaker 1: rush that you got on the mound that your whole
Speaker 1: life you built up to that moment, ball in the glove.
Speaker 1: There's a stadium looking at you right right to make
Speaker 1: this next move. Nothing happens and not you don't even
Speaker 1: count the stadium. You could also count TV, all the
Speaker 1: people watching, the announcers, that the other managers, the other teams,
Speaker 1: the other dugouts. Everything happens when you make it happen
Speaker 1: when you take the ball to your glove. How do
Speaker 1: you reconcile that from going from that to an eight
Speaker 1: x ten cell with boone? Yeah, you know you really couldn't.
Speaker 1: You really couldn't. But that was a part is not
Speaker 1: even a thing for you. It is a thing. It
Speaker 1: is a thing. There is that moment, and there is
Speaker 1: that rush, and there is all that that comes there.
Speaker 1: And really once that end, it was like, how will
Speaker 1: I ever get that back? Right? Yeah? And in prison,
Speaker 1: And what I think needed to happen was that needed
Speaker 1: to be taken away from me because that allowed me
Speaker 1: to just focus on that and then I'd finish nouting.
Speaker 1: If it was good, Okay, good, I'm going to the
Speaker 1: next one. How do I work in between? If it
Speaker 1: was bad? Beat yourself up. I gotta get better. I
Speaker 1: gotta get better. I get better all about me, me, me,
Speaker 1: my career, my career. And then there I didn't have that.
Speaker 1: You know, I worked out a lot if I couldn't
Speaker 1: get out of selling, a lot of push ups, you know,
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff to just keep my my physical
Speaker 1: in my mind. Just kind of but it was it
Speaker 1: was at times when we lock down, all I had
Speaker 1: was the Bible, just read or just books. Just read read,
Speaker 1: read book, you know, a couple of books a day.
Speaker 1: And that's not going to provide or reconcile what you
Speaker 1: talked about. But I think in order to be folks
Speaker 1: like to this day right now. I will tell you
Speaker 1: that the coaching and giving back to these kids and
Speaker 1: watching young men go play out of college or being
Speaker 1: a you know, a liaison for them through schools gives
Speaker 1: me that I didn't know it going on the weekend,
Speaker 1: going to war with these guys. Coaching gives me what
Speaker 1: I had when I was pitching. But I needed the
Speaker 1: three and a half years of not getting that to
Speaker 1: focus on where I needed to be. And to this
Speaker 1: day having that back with the kids in the program
Speaker 1: and the business. I'll never be I say never by choice.
Speaker 1: You can choose do anything you want to do, but
Speaker 1: I will never have or put in that time that
Speaker 1: I did, during that time where it was just it
Speaker 1: was nothing but books and improving myself and in the
Speaker 1: word and the spirituality and just it was a time
Speaker 1: like no other. So without prison, you aren't the man
Speaker 1: you are today, no chance. That's crazy. Yeah, you take
Speaker 1: out arguably that, it's got to be the biggest adversity
Speaker 1: you've ever faced. Take that out in your life is
Speaker 1: not the same, not good, no, no way, It's it's
Speaker 1: self absorbed. I was on my way to being a
Speaker 1: coach in pro ball. I was probably gonna coach for
Speaker 1: the Ranger. Excuse me once that that little stint of
Speaker 1: doing the bull during thing was done. But yeah, it
Speaker 1: was just my own thing. Yeah, no way, It's not
Speaker 1: just you. It's anyone could look at their life and
Speaker 1: go the biggest piece of adversity I face. Take that
Speaker 1: out and I'm not the same, I'm not better, I'm
Speaker 1: not at my full potential without it. Going back to
Speaker 1: working out, same thing. Ye, your muscles don't grow unless
Speaker 1: you break them down. And the harder you break them down,
Speaker 1: the better and more reliable they're going to grow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's got to be some pain, some sort ofness, some
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right. It's a great analogy and we use
Speaker 1: it with the young men that we coach, and it's
Speaker 1: it's exactly right until you break it down. You know,
Speaker 1: it's easy to just go through life. And I'll use
Speaker 1: a baseball analogy. You just you're just kicking teams butt,
Speaker 1: you're winning, you're the best, You're it really is easy.
Speaker 1: Everyone gets along, it's happy, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you get your back against the wall and you start
Speaker 1: you take one in the mouth and you get hit
Speaker 1: in the mouth, and it's like people start who turns
Speaker 1: on who what are we really about now? Right? And
Speaker 1: so yeah, I agree, I think there's no doubt. Do
Speaker 1: we want to go through it? No, we don't. And
Speaker 1: part of my story other people were hurt. That's the
Speaker 1: part that hurts. It wasn't just about again, not just
Speaker 1: about me. There's a victim involved. There's families that were
Speaker 1: hurt there, you know what I mean. So it's hard
Speaker 1: to say I'm glad I went through that. But the
Speaker 1: prison part and the walking that out and where God
Speaker 1: had to get a hold of me, I'm glad I
Speaker 1: went through that part. And you know which, she didn't
Speaker 1: hurt anybody else, I'm sure. And what else is easy?
Speaker 1: Is you going to prison and going almost such a loser?
Speaker 1: I guess this is it. Yeah, yeah, I'll just be
Speaker 1: a loser to the rest of my life. I knew
Speaker 1: I wasn't as good as I thought I was. I
Speaker 1: tried so hard and I achieved this success, but I
Speaker 1: deep down I knew it never went This is who
Speaker 1: I really am, just a loser. You could easily do
Speaker 1: that too and miss the opportunity of what was going
Speaker 1: to build you bigger and better than you ever were. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: And you know what. Those thoughts like that come, they come.
Speaker 1: I'm sure they did three and a half years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: long nights, I'm sure they did. Absolutely. You got to
Speaker 1: really fight those thoughts. And I think the only way
Speaker 1: I found to keep negative thoughts from festering and coming in,
Speaker 1: it's just by by adding positive thoughts removing those putting
Speaker 1: positive thoughts. I read a book called As a Man
Speaker 1: Thinketh by James Allen, and it was a lot about that.
Speaker 1: It was about your mind's like a garden, Like you
Speaker 1: can't stop thinking. You can't keep your garden from growing.
Speaker 1: But if you don't fertilize and see it and put
Speaker 1: the right stuff in, it's gonna be leads. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be thoughts you don't want, so good man, And that
Speaker 1: thing hit me hard man, so good. Yeah, let's take
Speaker 1: a break and come back. Awesome. This podcast is brought
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Speaker 1: if anybody ever wants a question answered on this podcast,
Speaker 1: you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Nothing is
Speaker 1: off limits, and I'm gonna prove that by this next question.
Speaker 1: Do you want to get in through these? Come on, sure,
Speaker 1: let's go. I'm gonna start you out on a lighter note,
Speaker 1: It says Granger You've been answering a lot of deep
Speaker 1: questions lately, so I thought i'd send you this little
Speaker 1: fun one. I've watched you eat a ton of tamalies
Speaker 1: and tacos before a show. What happens if you're on
Speaker 1: stage and you really need to go pooh. I've always
Speaker 1: wanted about this, Heather from Kentucky shout out to Kentucky.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Heather. And I'm gonna shoot this straight over Brandon,
Speaker 1: because I think I could. This has to be a
Speaker 1: thing in baseball too. I mean, what if you're on
Speaker 1: the mound, yeah, does that ever happen? Yes? Or no?
Speaker 1: If you're in the bullpen waiting your turn pitch, yes.
Speaker 1: And I was a big routine guy my career grandeur,
Speaker 1: like if you move my chair and inch, I knew it.
Speaker 1: If it was the fourth inning, I would disappear to
Speaker 1: the clubhouse and come back. And one time our pitching coach,
Speaker 1: Mike Maddox, who's now a big time Bigley pitcher, has
Speaker 1: called me and goes, hey, how was that fourth inning? Poop?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, you know where I was? Every
Speaker 1: fourth inning you disappear. So I tried to alleviate that
Speaker 1: before getting out on the mound. I don't remember ever
Speaker 1: having to to make that emergency timeout and run to
Speaker 1: the dug out. Yeah that makes sense. What about you?
Speaker 1: I've never had it on stage. I think there's something
Speaker 1: about adrenaline. They will just suppress it. But I've had
Speaker 1: those moments where it's like an hour before the show
Speaker 1: and it's it's like, man, I gotta go and on
Speaker 1: a normal night with a normal venue and there's a
Speaker 1: there's a nice bathroom right there on the end of
Speaker 1: green room. Great. Yeah, but there's a handful. It seems
Speaker 1: like it always happens on these kind of nights when
Speaker 1: it's say it's like a festival, like a county fair.
Speaker 1: We can't go on the bus. That's just the thing.
Speaker 1: Can't go on the bus. So there's a county fair
Speaker 1: and there's a porta potty right outside my bus, and
Speaker 1: the door is facing the crowd and they're all out
Speaker 1: there waiting. Man, So I'm thinking I gotta go out there,
Speaker 1: open the door, wave to some people will go in
Speaker 1: for a while, come back out wave. I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I mentally I can't do that. Wow. So do you
Speaker 1: want the most incredible prison bus poop story? Yes? Is
Speaker 1: this podcast fit prison bus poop? Yeah? So you said
Speaker 1: you don't poop on the bus? Yeah, standard standard perceiving
Speaker 1: minor leg bus, don't you dare. Yeah, don't do it.
Speaker 1: We're all gonna be on this bus, right, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So just imagine a bunch of hardened inmates on a
Speaker 1: prison bus cuff together. You better believe you don't poom
Speaker 1: on that bus. Yeah. When I was doing my time,
Speaker 1: I had to go to a medical appointment in Galveston
Speaker 1: because my stomach was messed up, so I had to
Speaker 1: get a colonoscopy. Those are fun no matter where you
Speaker 1: get them, but in prison they're really fun. Right, So
Speaker 1: I have to do all the prep. I have have to
Speaker 1: do the prep when you have a procedure. Back on
Speaker 1: the bus, we're rolling. The prep hit me. I'm on
Speaker 1: this bus and I'm looking around and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go poop. And
Speaker 1: there's this just really nasty toilet the middle of everybody,
Speaker 1: which is an abnormal in prison you get used to
Speaker 1: you're not getting privacy, right, but not on the bus.
Speaker 1: And the guy next to me looks me, He's like, well,
Speaker 1: I god, no, you don't understand. Like, it's not gonna
Speaker 1: wait this prep for the it's not waiting. Yeah, got up, sorry, dude,
Speaker 1: I mean immediately, the grumblings up. Oh my, no way.
Speaker 1: I just had no talk about embarrassing man. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't. There's no other. The other option is really
Speaker 1: bad because it's happening. Yeah. So yeah, that was one
Speaker 1: of my stories. I occasionally Heather had no idea. Heather
Speaker 1: from Kentucky had no good this was going there. If
Speaker 1: I'm in that county fair situation, I will do. There's
Speaker 1: only one thing I'll do. I'll put on a hood
Speaker 1: and I'll walk two miles till the nearest gas station. Wow,
Speaker 1: I'll walk three miles to the nearest gas station. But
Speaker 1: when there's a porta party five feet away, I won't
Speaker 1: use it. If that door is facing the crass, just mentally,
Speaker 1: I can't take it. So I'll hike three miles to
Speaker 1: the gas station and grab an energy drink on the
Speaker 1: way back. Drink. I love it. Man, all right, let's
Speaker 1: see we have let's do. Let's do stepdad step daughter struggles.
Speaker 1: That's the subject line here. It says he Andrew. My
Speaker 1: name is Matt. I'm from a small town in Missouri.
Speaker 1: My wife and I have seen you in concert numerous
Speaker 1: times and love you and the family. Thank you, Matt.
Speaker 1: He says, I have two step children whom I love
Speaker 1: as my own. I would absolutely do anything to see
Speaker 1: them smile. But my twelve year old step daughter and
Speaker 1: I struggle to build a strong relationship. Her only vision
Speaker 1: of a dad is an alcoholic drug addict that beats
Speaker 1: her and her family. My son and I have a
Speaker 1: powerful connection. I always feel like I'm not good enough
Speaker 1: or that I'm doing everything wrong. Please, I need help
Speaker 1: because this drives me insane, and it's hard to be
Speaker 1: all I could be and only feel subpar. So. Yeah, thanks, thanks, Matthew,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, buddy. Shout out to Missouri. Great question,
Speaker 1: probably pretty common question a lot of people dealing with
Speaker 1: blended families like this. I don't know if this is
Speaker 1: a question you purposely brought up because I'm on here. No,
Speaker 1: but I saw a step daughter struggles. Wow. So, Matt,
Speaker 1: I have two I call them bonus daughters, two step daughters.
Speaker 1: When I got out that, I well know you have
Speaker 1: your daughter. Yeah. So I have two biological daughters yeah,
Speaker 1: and a biogical son. My wife and I got married
Speaker 1: two bonus daughters. I could not empathize more with Matt
Speaker 1: because one of them absolutely accepted me as their dad
Speaker 1: and the cheating them like my own. My own was
Speaker 1: raising them day in and day out, and the struggles
Speaker 1: were real. They had a similar they've seen a similar
Speaker 1: father figure in their life, the biological father, and man,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what one of them. We just connected.
Speaker 1: Not right off. There was a struggle at first because
Speaker 1: my wife is a single mom for ten years, so
Speaker 1: it was like, wait a minute, who a we sharing with?
Speaker 1: But once we worked through all that, I mean, there
Speaker 1: couldn't be any more. I love you, and you're my dad,
Speaker 1: and you're the best, and you're and then the other one.
Speaker 1: Incredible relationship. But I feel, and maybe Matt feels this
Speaker 1: way that that she feels if she says I love
Speaker 1: you to me, if she opens up all the way
Speaker 1: to me, she's doing something wrong towards her her dad.
Speaker 1: That's the best way I've been able to look at it,
Speaker 1: because I struggled, I fought through it, I've tried everything,
Speaker 1: and then eventually what I did is I just let
Speaker 1: it go. I just said, you know, I'm gonna love
Speaker 1: them the best way I can love them. They do
Speaker 1: love me. If she won't say it, or she will,
Speaker 1: or she won't, she she does, they do and they
Speaker 1: love Matt and they man, being a step father danger
Speaker 1: is hard, man, It's hard, but it is so rewarding
Speaker 1: because to step in and take that role, it's not
Speaker 1: an easy thing to do, and then to feel like
Speaker 1: it's not being accepted or appreciated hurts the man ego,
Speaker 1: hurts the pride what I'm doing for you, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? And and I just had to kind
Speaker 1: of get out of it. And I still struggle. I
Speaker 1: still struggle, man, But I mean, I couldn't relate more
Speaker 1: to a question because it's the exact scenario and my
Speaker 1: best advice, not that I'm some kind of pro, but
Speaker 1: it's just keep loving them the best way you can
Speaker 1: and they're gonna see it. And then they're oh and
Speaker 1: his wife she yeah, she's gonna see it. I just
Speaker 1: think it's one of those things that in the trenches
Speaker 1: gets tough, but looking back, if you just stay consistent
Speaker 1: and stay loving and staying and doing exactly what he's doing.
Speaker 1: She's twelve, does that matter. That's the exact age of Hayley,
Speaker 1: who's my younger stepdaughter when we met, exact dage, and
Speaker 1: Astley was fourteen, so pivotal years, right, pivotal, pivotal years,
Speaker 1: and you step in and all that little girls are
Speaker 1: going through and you're there as a man, and they
Speaker 1: will see it and they will appreciate it, they will,
Speaker 1: but it'll be a struggle. So I think what Brandon also,
Speaker 1: what he's saying, Matt, is that you feeling subpar and
Speaker 1: this driving you insane. And that's in your head because
Speaker 1: what she's given you, this twelve year old girl, what
Speaker 1: she's given you isn't necessarily what's in her heart. She's
Speaker 1: putting up a front right right, and she's feeling this
Speaker 1: guilt of sharing her love with another dad. It's not biological.
Speaker 1: And with that, she's gonna give you resistance. We've all
Speaker 1: seen girls. They're great at giving resistance. It's just they're
Speaker 1: like naturally born to do that. Yeah, and it's a
Speaker 1: good thing for the most part. That's why i'm you know,
Speaker 1: my little girl she is when she wants something, she's
Speaker 1: strong about it. Man, you could not break that. So
Speaker 1: it's not on you, if you're fulfilling your job, it's
Speaker 1: not on you. So you give her that love. You
Speaker 1: give your son, your stepson that love, and most importantly
Speaker 1: above those, you give your wife that love and watch
Speaker 1: that trickle down, and one day it might not be tomorrow,
Speaker 1: It might not even be for ten years. She might
Speaker 1: be twenty two years old before she has a breakthrough
Speaker 1: and goes, you know what, Matt or whatever she calls you,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for treating Mom the way you did,
Speaker 1: for loving us, for giving us a home, providing for
Speaker 1: us when you didn't have to. It's like that old
Speaker 1: Brad Paisley song, the man he didn't have to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you, this is a war of attrition with her.
Speaker 1: You know, there's no way you're going to convince her
Speaker 1: tomorrow or you're going to bring home flowers or candy
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden convince her that, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I love you, Matt, I love you. This is a
Speaker 1: war of attrition. You're going to look at this as
Speaker 1: twenty years of consistency, and that's going to matter to her. Amber.
Speaker 1: You know, my wife, she has had a stepdad that
Speaker 1: in so many ways has done everything right. He's provided
Speaker 1: for them, he's loved them, and he didn't just step
Speaker 1: into her life and her just go, oh automatic love
Speaker 1: Like Mom, Mom's got something different. You know, there's more
Speaker 1: to it. The kids, It takes. You have to earn
Speaker 1: that and you're doing it right. Yeah. And another thought
Speaker 1: on that grandeur, and I'm thinking this, my own life
Speaker 1: is because of what you explained and what's been shown
Speaker 1: to them and modeled to them as a father, there's
Speaker 1: been some hurt there. Yeah, And now think about how
Speaker 1: scary that is to get vulnerable and go totally man,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm open, I'm giving it to you. Are
Speaker 1: you gonna hurt me? Are you gonna break my heart?
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you gonna go to drugs? Yeah? Alcohol?
Speaker 1: So there's probably a lot in there that I can't
Speaker 1: even imagine what what these these kiddos are going through
Speaker 1: in my life as well. To where as much as
Speaker 1: they might want to give it all and be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: it's it's tough, dude. Just keep loving them. Man, I
Speaker 1: say this too. Man, what's obvious about this that Brandon
Speaker 1: knows too. There is the difference between the boy and
Speaker 1: the girl. Girls are just smarter at this age. They're
Speaker 1: just more perceptive. They're digging way deeper. The guy's like,
Speaker 1: he throws the baseball with me, he takes me to
Speaker 1: get pizza. He's so cool. Yeah, it's easy. Yes, that's
Speaker 1: very true. He shot me how to shoot a deer rifle.
Speaker 1: I like this guy. Yeah, no, a girl is gonna
Speaker 1: take you. Because they are just natural. Those cre creatures
Speaker 1: are just naturally more perspective and was facing. They're just smart.
Speaker 1: They're Yeah, absolutely a great question, Matt, It's awesome. Let's
Speaker 1: go to Let's see what this one says. Says. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm Clayton Dottie and from Newport, Oregon. I've been struggling
Speaker 1: with close friends and people using me for my kindness
Speaker 1: and leaving me, and it's made me struggle a little
Speaker 1: bit because some of those were my closest friends ever.
Speaker 1: They were brothers and sisters to me, and they left
Speaker 1: and like I said, it hurt and affected me a lot.
Speaker 1: I've been trying for a long time now to overcome
Speaker 1: and learn how to be happy on my own. So
Speaker 1: I was curious, how do you get over that and
Speaker 1: not to think about it and let it affect you.
Speaker 1: So he says he's been struggling with his close friends
Speaker 1: and people using him for his kindness and leaving him,
Speaker 1: and it's made him struggle a little because they were
Speaker 1: close to him. I think there's something more to this Clayton,
Speaker 1: first of all, shout out to the organ thank you
Speaker 1: for writing in. I think you're answering your own question
Speaker 1: by saying you're trying to overcome and be happy on
Speaker 1: your own, which is like step one. These people are
Speaker 1: not going to provide your happiness for you, no matter
Speaker 1: who they are. I personally feel like they were the
Speaker 1: wrong friends to begin with, the wrong crowd, right right, Yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: don't ever, don't ever look at it as your kindness
Speaker 1: drove anybody away. It's just not that's not going to
Speaker 1: the right person is not ever going to be driven
Speaker 1: away by kindness. Hey, I think I think Clayton is
Speaker 1: filtering out some friends, some friends that he's gonna open
Speaker 1: it himself up to draw the right people in. I
Speaker 1: think so too. And I think I think man just
Speaker 1: s grange. It comes down to expectations, right, what are
Speaker 1: your expectations of these people? You expected more, right, you
Speaker 1: expected them to reciprocate the kindness, And man, Clayton, I
Speaker 1: hate to say this, we're all learning this. It's like
Speaker 1: people are just gonna let you down. People are our people,
Speaker 1: and they they know how to hurt, and they're selfish
Speaker 1: by nature, and so I think I hate to say
Speaker 1: lower your expectations. No, you should have high expectations for
Speaker 1: good friends. But if your expectations of these folks were
Speaker 1: one thing and and you're receiving another, then, like Graander said,
Speaker 1: that probably not the ones that are gonna stick with
Speaker 1: you through thick and thin, and you're finding that out. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe Clayton, maybe you're smothering a little bit too.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's part of this. Maybe to switch the word kindness.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're smothering a little bit. Maybe you're too much
Speaker 1: sometimes and that goes back to you saying I need
Speaker 1: to be happy on my own. So you know what,
Speaker 1: Sometimes go into a new gym. You just did this,
Speaker 1: Go to a new gym, and it opens yourself up
Speaker 1: to new people. And it doesn't have to be a gym.
Speaker 1: It could be any kind of hobby, or it could
Speaker 1: even be a grocery store. You switch grocery stores. There's
Speaker 1: new people, new faces, and I think it's a positive thing. Clayton,
Speaker 1: I think you're open yourself up to a new chapter.
Speaker 1: Man Brandon said it right. People are gonna let you
Speaker 1: down if you expect, if you expect them to fulfill
Speaker 1: you and create your happiness inside. They're gonna let you
Speaker 1: down every time, so will parents. So we'll step parents,
Speaker 1: so we'll step daughters. You we're all human. So it's
Speaker 1: a good question. Dude. Thank you for right, Thank you
Speaker 1: for the transparency. Right, Yeah, honesty, that's really good. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to go to this questions
Speaker 1: from an expecting dad. That's the subject. It says, Hey Grander,
Speaker 1: my name is Cameron. I'm from Lacrosse, Wisconsin. Shout out
Speaker 1: to Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Scanson. I've been listening to your music
Speaker 1: for a very long time. My wife and I started
Speaker 1: watching The Smiths and I appreciate you. Buddy says you
Speaker 1: and Amber have a very contagious positive outlook. I got
Speaker 1: married in October. First baby is do in July, hopefully
Speaker 1: July fourth, because America. We we close on a house
Speaker 1: in a couple of weeks. We've decided my wife is
Speaker 1: going to be a stay at home mom. You and
Speaker 1: Matt Demo are good father role models that I want
Speaker 1: to strive to be. What advice would you give to
Speaker 1: a new dad? Also, I want to talk about your
Speaker 1: positive attitudes. I used to be a glass half full
Speaker 1: kind of guy, but over the last year, I've really
Speaker 1: been struggling to stay positive. How do you stay in
Speaker 1: such a positive mood? And that's the part of the
Speaker 1: question I saw and thought this is a perfer question
Speaker 1: because we could talk about what to expect as a
Speaker 1: new dad. But I've said this kind of thing a
Speaker 1: lot on this podcast, and I think being a new dad,
Speaker 1: be present, be engaged. Don't start looking past each little
Speaker 1: baby stage, because God gives you the exact amount of
Speaker 1: time you need before that baby grows, and you learn
Speaker 1: with the kid, you know, so you don't have to
Speaker 1: start thinking about how are you gonna maybe proof the house.
Speaker 1: When they're an infant, you just worry about bottle feeding.
Speaker 1: You don't have to. When they're a toddler, you don't
Speaker 1: have to start worrying about them dating. You're gonna have
Speaker 1: enough time to learn that stuff, So don't don't worry.
Speaker 1: Just soak in. You're hardwired to know how to do this,
Speaker 1: so just soak it in. Be present. Congratulations on closing
Speaker 1: on the house. But what I want to talk about
Speaker 1: is the glass half fool that you used to be
Speaker 1: and now you're struggling to stay positive. What do you think, Brandon,
Speaker 1: Everyone that meets Brandon, pufferd walks away and goes that
Speaker 1: is a positive dude. If there was any adjective to
Speaker 1: describe you positive, Wow, thank you man. It's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure, and you kind of explained a little bit
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah. You know the first you mentioned earlier
Speaker 1: when we first met, we were at the same gym.
Speaker 1: Head nod, it's happening. It's going on, buddy, seeing you
Speaker 1: see the same people, right, And I remember the first
Speaker 1: thing you came up and said to me. You said,
Speaker 1: I do I haven't weird memory, man, like an elephant.
Speaker 1: And you were like, Brandon, dude, all right, what are
Speaker 1: you selling because I'm buying it? What is it? And
Speaker 1: I said, what what do you mean? Yeah? Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: always so positive, You're always smiling, You're always yeah. And
Speaker 1: that's when I was like, yeah, yeah, I thought you
Speaker 1: were a fireman and whatever. But the only way to
Speaker 1: explain it for me, and I think I explained it
Speaker 1: to you this way. However, many several years ago when
Speaker 1: we first met, was just where my hope comes from, man,
Speaker 1: my faith? And it's not only that, well it is
Speaker 1: only that, I mean, that's the biggest race I get you,
Speaker 1: but also on top of that is just kind of perception, right,
Speaker 1: like gratitude. Gratitude? What am I focused on? Am I
Speaker 1: focused on? Hey, let's be honest. In the last year,
Speaker 1: it's been tough, right, I mean it has been tough.
Speaker 1: But what are we focused on? Am I gonna wake
Speaker 1: up every day and focus on the negativity and what's
Speaker 1: going on? And I choose not to do that. And
Speaker 1: it's a choice. I mean, I choose to go, Hey,
Speaker 1: I've got these things to be grateful for. Man, I've
Speaker 1: got a wife and a son and four daughters, and
Speaker 1: baseball program, young men that I get to interact with
Speaker 1: and and and hopefully positively impact And those are the
Speaker 1: things that keep me going. Now. Am I always positive
Speaker 1: behind closed doors? Of course? Not. Man, the guys, the
Speaker 1: ones who know me best, my wife, my kiddos, another
Speaker 1: another country reference, they usually get what's left to me,
Speaker 1: not the best of me, right, Yeah, And and that's hard.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, the positivity that
Speaker 1: that you know, I try to to give out is
Speaker 1: just simply a choice every day, like, Hey, what do
Speaker 1: you have for me today? What am I focused on?
Speaker 1: Because I promised if I was to sit and look
Speaker 1: at all the negativity and and dwell on a lot
Speaker 1: of things going on. I think that would show up
Speaker 1: in my attitude and and it's it's it's not always positive, man,
Speaker 1: but but that is what helps me to be a
Speaker 1: glass half full guy and and have just good people
Speaker 1: around me who I surround myself with is huge. That's
Speaker 1: so good, Cameron. In February and tech is, we had
Speaker 1: this crazy ice storm and it basically shut down most
Speaker 1: of the entire state from whatever anyone was doing. Their
Speaker 1: schedule was changed. You weren't going with your normal work.
Speaker 1: You were surviving. Well, we were. We were on these
Speaker 1: these these power on and off rolling were you on that?
Speaker 1: We had just moved. We decided to move at the
Speaker 1: front end of the ice storm, which was not very
Speaker 1: comfortable moving. But then for whatever reason, where we were
Speaker 1: in our new place, we just never lost anything. We
Speaker 1: were really less. That's awesome. I hate a lot of
Speaker 1: my bands said that too. Yeah. Well, the example I
Speaker 1: was going to use is that we were on this
Speaker 1: this rolling blackout and they were cycling us and we
Speaker 1: were taking notes on when the power would go out.
Speaker 1: We'd say seven pm, and then the power kick on
Speaker 1: at nine pm. We'd go nine pm. So we were
Speaker 1: just trying to keep some kind of schedule to figure out,
Speaker 1: you know, when could we use the microwave to thaw
Speaker 1: out some frozen deer meat or you know, whatever is
Speaker 1: it going to be. So we would when we would
Speaker 1: expect the power to come back on and it wouldn't,
Speaker 1: we would get devastated. And then we would expect it
Speaker 1: to cut off and it would stay on and we
Speaker 1: would celebrate. And Brandon said, expectations, Well, if you could
Speaker 1: keep your gratitude a little bit higher than your expectations,
Speaker 1: every time, you're gonna be happy, You're gonna be you're
Speaker 1: gonna be a positive guy. Now, what's crazy about my
Speaker 1: whole story is that we're celebrating power. We're celebrating the
Speaker 1: lights coming on. Like, dude, when's the last time you
Speaker 1: turn you flip the light switch and you just cheered
Speaker 1: and hugged and yelled. That's ridiculous four months ago. But
Speaker 1: here we are. Our expectations are super low. We're just
Speaker 1: trying to stay warm. We don't we're just trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what the next meal is. And the lights
Speaker 1: stay on a little bit longer, the heater stays on
Speaker 1: a little bit longer, and we're hugging each other because
Speaker 1: our expectations were low. Therefore our gratefulness was way higher
Speaker 1: just to have power. And then you could relate to
Speaker 1: this because there was like a Tuesday afternoon or whatever
Speaker 1: when all of a sudden the sun came out and
Speaker 1: it was just beautiful blue sky. And now the way
Speaker 1: it was probably twenty degrees, it felt like eighty. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because of what we had been dealing with, I forgot
Speaker 1: I'm talking to a Wisconsin guy here, so this is
Speaker 1: like no big deal. Tough. It's like no big deal
Speaker 1: to Cameron. But man, when we expected it to be
Speaker 1: five degrees and it ended up being sunny and twenty,
Speaker 1: we were celebrating. Now today, if I walked out it
Speaker 1: was twenty, I would be complaining because I don't expect that.
Speaker 1: My whole point is in anything in life, if you
Speaker 1: keep your gratefulness, it doesn't have to be a lot more,
Speaker 1: but just a little bit more than what you expect,
Speaker 1: then you're going to be happy. That's the key to
Speaker 1: being positive and being a glass half full kind of guy.
Speaker 1: So when you got this baby coming, you got this
Speaker 1: house coming, you're closing in this house in a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks. Man, what's crazy is you're going to walk
Speaker 1: in with the key and you're gonna put stuff. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be so excited, and in about six months you're
Speaker 1: gonna be tired of it. It wears off so fast.
Speaker 1: So just continue to cultivate that gratefulness. But I don't
Speaker 1: know where you're living right now, but it's six months
Speaker 1: from now. Be thinking about that and go. Man. Six
Speaker 1: months ago, we were in that little apartment. We had
Speaker 1: to go to the third floor. We had to carry
Speaker 1: cartons of milk up three floors and I had to
Speaker 1: There was no parking spot, so I had to park
Speaker 1: one hundred yards away to walk. But now I just
Speaker 1: parked in my own driveway. Don't let that get away
Speaker 1: from you. Don't ever let that driveway go away, no
Speaker 1: matter how long you're in this house. So it's it's
Speaker 1: a mind trick, so much so it is, man and I.
Speaker 1: I what it tells me about me and probably us
Speaker 1: is how much we take for granted. Is what you're
Speaker 1: what I'm hearing. Just take it for granted, man, like power.
Speaker 1: We recently had a hot water We just got ac
Speaker 1: back in our house yesterday hasn't been very warm, so whatever,
Speaker 1: but it was sure right, so deal wow, and we
Speaker 1: were celebating. I came home. My wife stayed for that
Speaker 1: and she's like you hear it, you feel it, and
Speaker 1: we're like great example A see it's all us. I mean,
Speaker 1: but it's huge. And just to wrap it up camera,
Speaker 1: I would say, literally, write out a gratitude list and
Speaker 1: what I'm in and your short email. Man, I don't
Speaker 1: know you, but a new house, a baby, a wife. Yes,
Speaker 1: you got a lot to be grateful for. Man, that
Speaker 1: glass is more than half America America. Come on in July, dude,
Speaker 1: write it out. That is so true. Man, every morning,
Speaker 1: make this and for anyone that's listening, do a little journal.
Speaker 1: I love the journal every morning, and you guys have
Speaker 1: heard me talk about that. And it's especially fun journaling
Speaker 1: now because I could look back on twenty twenty this time,
Speaker 1: you know, like the sky was falling last year. So
Speaker 1: it's fun to go back and go to read my
Speaker 1: journals from last year and go it didn't even matter, right,
Speaker 1: they didn't matter right, respective wise, it didn't matter. So
Speaker 1: do a little journal. But then at the end of
Speaker 1: that journal, just write down some things you're grateful for.
Speaker 1: It could be the sun. The sun's out today. It
Speaker 1: could be got cold, Ac. It could be you got
Speaker 1: you're having scrambled eggs for breakfast, and you love scrambled.
Speaker 1: It could be anything. It's really this is not about
Speaker 1: I finally got ten grand in the bank account. It's
Speaker 1: not that. It's not that. I mean it can be,
Speaker 1: but I'm thinking, aim lower, aim lower, and you'll be
Speaker 1: surprised every morning, just practicing that, putting on paper, verbalizing it. Man,
Speaker 1: tell your wife how grateful for you you are for it.
Speaker 1: Brandon walks in this house, in his house in three months,
Speaker 1: go hug your wife and go Ac. She's gonna look
Speaker 1: at you like you're crazy. Yeah, but that's the perspective.
Speaker 1: It's funny because just yesterday I get up early, and
Speaker 1: we still live in a barn RV in the barn,
Speaker 1: so I get up and read and and I usually
Speaker 1: the lights are off and I'm just reading by my
Speaker 1: little light there by the by my Bible. And Amber
Speaker 1: goes around to the barn and flicks on the lights
Speaker 1: to the barn. That turned on, and I had that little,
Speaker 1: that little flutter feeling like powers on, oh ye, powers on, yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like that feeling of yes the grid. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's so fun perpective. Absolutely, dude, that's our time, man, Wow,
Speaker 1: that's our time. If you want to hear more Brandon
Speaker 1: reply if you're watching on YouTube, reply more Brandon. I
Speaker 1: think people are gonna want to see some more you, man.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Gran, Man, I appreciate you having me on.
Speaker 1: One thing I wanted to say for me is I
Speaker 1: mean for those who are just kind of fans and
Speaker 1: are out there and are listening to what you're doing,
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure by now they can tell, and
Speaker 1: especially watching the Smiths, what a genuine dude you are.
Speaker 1: But like, man, just having lunch the other day and
Speaker 1: you're reading through these emails and you're receiving emails and
Speaker 1: you're reading them. Oh yeah, your I don't give them anybody. No,
Speaker 1: I know you don't, but I would think, and I
Speaker 1: imagine not the only one that would think, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith. But is it my email Granger Smith?
Speaker 1: Or is whoever? And then no, Man, I mean it's
Speaker 1: it's impressive, man. And I know I've known you to
Speaker 1: be a very real guy since I thought you're a fireman.
Speaker 1: But knowing what you do and receiving these emails, it's
Speaker 1: just how genuine you are and what you're doing for
Speaker 1: your fans is awesome man, so I appreciate them. It's
Speaker 1: a blessing to be here. Man. Love right back at you, man,
Speaker 1: Appreciate you, dude, right on, thankser come back all right,
Speaker 1: see ty gee gee, thanks for joining me on the
Speaker 1: Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You
Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that
Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie